A/N: Hello my treasured readers! Alright this chapter has a good chunk of angst, some drama, some awkwardness and a touch of wholesomeness if you squint hard enough. The rating here is a bit borderline, might be touching M kinda so just heads up, but I think it's tame enough. On the whole, I think you guys are really gonna have fun with this. Or I hope you all do anyway XD
Responses to guest reviews:
Haneypots: Hahaha you're gonna have to have a fully stocked medical kit man XD this story is not for the faint of heart XD True, honestly as soon as Aang landed into the picture properly the fun started XD Yeah you gotta feel sorry for Fuki, she's craving a mum, but unfortunately things are a bit complex for smooth sailing. Haha a younger version of Jin indeed XD Haha I've made Yun a bit of enigma but I explain it properly in the later chapters XD Haha I LOVED that you picked out that subtly, serious kudos XD Ngl I loved writing that scene, thank you for highlighting it XD Love ya too! XD I'll keep on knocking on your door dw XD Oof ngl that is a pretty cute thought, the younger boys attracting the older ladies haha. It hasn't crossed my mind, but who knows in the future maybe, although they gave me brother-sister besties type of a vibe, but I aint stopping you from choosing XD
A: Haha I'm so glad you noticed! I wanted to have constant reminders that Yatsu isn't just a normal kid, but without it being too in everyone's face. I'm glad you enjoyed it, I'm wondering what you're gonna think of this one XD haha you know it, time is what it takes to help close the distance, slowly but surely. Oof I REALLY like that idea, it would be such a fitting trigger. I feel like everyone is trying to figure out what would be the trigger and I'm trying to hide my grin because I don't think anyone will figure out what the trigger is (or if there even is a trigger haha, I'm joking…maybe XD). YES! Honestly good line pick and your reason for it is even sweeter, you highlighted something that I overlooked, so thank you XD
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Next Day:
Katara's POV:
"Are you sure you don't want to join?" I ask while turning to face Yun who's busy watching Yatsu's father strap a few things in the car while Yatsu bounces up and down excitedly. My fiancé gives me a reassuring smile.
"This is the first time Yatsu gets to go on an outing with his parents. I'll just be a third wheel." Yun murmurs softly. I frown and shake my head.
"That's not true. You know Yatsu better than he does." I argue, but the earthbender simply pulls me in for a kiss. When he pulls back, a smirk is on his lips as I blink twice in surprise. "You protest too much dear." He voices smoothly and I almost choke at his change in behaviour.
"Yun..." I start, but he gives me a small push towards the airbender duo.
"Go on. Maybe this is what you need to finally clear the air with Aang." Yun insists. I bite my lip and sigh.
"It will take more than a beach trip to do that, but I can tell you just want to relax at home." I grumble as I pick up my bag from the ground.
"Oh, you know it. The house all to myself for a whole day? Couldn't ask for anything better." Yun grins as he moves back. "Have fun and stay safe." He bids warmly. I grin at him and wave until he's closed the door. I drop my hand to my side and exhale softly. 'Guess I'm really doing this.' I tell myself with a nod before spinning on my heels and dropping my bag into the car boot.
"Mummy, where should I sit?" Yatsu asks as he peers into the car. I smile at him and ruffle his hair.
"You can sit next to your Dad in the passenger seat and I'll take the back seat." I say without hesitation, but a look of indecision crosses his face.
"Doesn't the parents usually sit together at the front?" My son asks innocently and I have to bite my tongue to stop my obvious protest.
"Don't you want to sit next to your Dad?" I ask instead, feeling guilty at the low-key manipulation, but I'm already spending the whole day with the man, sitting next to him in the car would feel way too much like we're close. 'Which we aren't.' I think firmly while Yatsu purses his lips.
"I'll sit with him on the way back." Yatsu decides maturely with a nod of his head and moves to open the door to the back seat. I stare at him in disbelief. 'Sometimes this child does not feel like a child.' I think to myself with a shake of my head as I drag my feet to the passenger side. I slide into the car just as my ex-husband turns on the ignition.
"Alright, off we go!" The Air Nomad announces excitedly as he rolls the car out of the driveway and joins the main road. I let out a quiet breath and move to rest my elbow on the window sill. My head drops to rest in my open palm as I stare through the front window, watching the cars.
"Daddy, I want to hear a story!" Yatsu suddenly demands, which elicits a chuckle from the Airbender.
"Hmm a story. Ok, I've got one. One day there was..." He starts, but the boy quickly interrupts him.
"No, I want to hear a story about you and Mama." Yatsu elaborates and I feel myself tensing up at the request. I flicker my gaze over to the man beside me who's knuckles have turned white from how hard he's gripping the wheel. I bite my lip and glance at the child through the rearview mirror.
"Yatsu, you should let your Dad concentrate on the road." I advise sternly, but the boy juts out his bottom lip in displeasure.
"But all my friends have cool stories about their parents." Yatsu mumbles as he slumps in his seat. I close my eyes briefly and only open them when I feel an elbow brushing my arm. I turn to the Avatar with furrowed eyebrows as he gives me a half smile.
"I can just make up something." He mouths to me, but I shake my head. 'The last thing I want is for our son to have false stories of us.' I chew my lip before glancing back at the rearview mirror
"You asked me the other day how I met your Dad, right? Do you still want to know?" I force the words out, hating the idea of recounting those memories, but it's the only thing I can think of. Yatsu's face visibly brightens as he nods his head vigorously. Even my ex-husband's ears perk up as he shoots me a curious look. I sigh silently as I flicker my eyes towards the road.
"It was my first day of uni and I was running a bit late, so I locked my dorm room in a rush, only to collide into someone who was racing down the corridor on a skateboard. That person happened to be your father." I recount as my mind swirls with the memory as if it were yesterday.
"Daddy knows how to skate?" Yatsu breathes out with wide eyes; even my ex-husband is staring at me with parted lips. I nudge him in the arm with my elbow.
"Eyes on the road mister." I remind lightly and immediately his eyes snap back ahead of him, but he keeps sending furtive glances towards me . 'I don't blame him. He literally remembers nothing about who he used to be.' I clear my throat to continue. "Typically, he apologised profusely and then offered me a ride to my lecture. That's how we met and we...became friends after that." I conclude, skipping the part where I was terrified of riding on said skateboard.
"Wow Mummy, I can't imagine you being late to anything." Yatsu notes and I flush in embarrassment.
"Well, everyone is late sometimes." I point out mildly as my son giggles. The sound makes my embarrassment fade as I turn around in my seat and give him a tickle on the tummy. "No laughing at your Mummy." I joke with a chuckle as the boy starts shrieking from the tickles.
"Mummy s-stoppp!" The boy begs as he becomes breathless. I grin and pull back my hand. My eyes accidentally fall onto the Air Nomad who's watching me with an inscrutable expression. I furrow my eyebrows and move to sit straight again, but still his gaze penetrates through me.
"What?" I prompt, snapping the man out of his daze as he looks back on the road. His fingers loosen around the car wheel as he chews his lip for a moment.
"You're really good with him." My ex-husband murmurs quietly, taking me by surprise. My lips part as I feel at a loss on what to say.
"I... wouldn't say that." I mutter as stare at the car in front of us.
"No, you are." The man insists, but I give him a one-shouldered shrug.
"If you say so." I voice offhandedly as the beach comes into view.
"I do." I hear him utter and when I take a glimpse at him again, I find that his face has softened. I bite the inside of my cheek and promptly look away. 'Why does that make me feel...strange?' I wonder in annoyance as I click off my seatbelt when the car rolls to a stop near the beach.
"I'll grab the things from the car." I announce before the Airbender can say anything else that might affect my emotions. I open the boot and pick up my bag and Yatsu's. I eye the Air Nomad's bag wearily for a moment, before hoisting it up by the handle and shutting the boot with my elbow. I sling my bag over my shoulder while Yatsu's and his father's bags dangle from my right hand.
"Oh, let me get that." My ex-husband voices suddenly as he plucks his bag from my hand. Yatsu watches the exchange for a moment before coming and tugging at his bag.
"I can carry mine too Mummy!" My son voices. I blink twice in surprise as I look down at him.
"Are you sure? I'm happy to carry it." I say and the boy almost looks swayed until the Air Nomad speaks up.
"Yatsu, don't let your Mama carry your things." The Avatar chides lightly and instantly the boy takes his bag from my hand. I gape at the child for a moment before snapping my blue orbs to the man.
"He's still young, he doesn't need to..." I start, but the Airbender shakes his head.
"It's good to learn from now to help others." The Air Nomad states as he nods his head to Yatsu who's giving me a thumbs up. I bite my lip and decide to let it go for now. We make our way to the indoor changing rooms and I'm just about to take Yatsu's hand to guide him to one of the changing stalls when he tugs me towards one of the larger rooms.
"Mama this one is for families!" Yatsu points out and I suddenly freeze on my spot. The action has the boy jerking backwards slightly and I'm just about able to steady him before he falls to the ground.
"Sorry." I apologise as I crouch down in front of him. "Listen, I'll help you change in one of the smaller stalls, like we always do." I say calmly, but the child frowns at my suggestion.
"But we can finally use the larger stall today." The boy points out and I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying the first thing on my mind.
"Yatsu, you know your Dad and I aren't married anymore. I have Yun and he has someone. It wouldn't be appropriate." I explain patiently, but for all the child's genius, he just looks up at me in confusion.
"I don't understand, we're just changing to go swimming in the sea." My son asks with furrowed eyebrows.
"Your Mummy's right. We...this isn't quite for us." Yatsu's father intervenes, but the boy is stubborn.
"But you're my Daddy and you're my Mummy. That makes us a family. And only families can use the bigger stalls." Yatsu insists as he crosses his arms in defiance. I groan inwardly as I pinch the bridge of my nose.
"Listen Yatsu, we're your family, but your father and I, we...we aren't each other's family. Does that make sense?" I try to clarify as I drop my hand from my face, but when I catch the disappointment on his face, it stirs something inside me as my heart clenches painfully.
"Oh. So...this isn't really a family day out then." The boy whispers as he hangs his head. I part my lips to protest the notion, but no words come forth.
It's only when I notice a liquid drop hitting the ground, that I realise the boy is crying silently. A sharp inhale from the man beside me has me feeling worse, especially when I see him trying to comfort the boy. With forced resolve, I sigh and take his hand.
"Alright, but just this once." I mumble and just like that the child raises his blue orbs to mine.
"Thank you Mummy." Yatsu whispers and his eyes gleam with gratitude. I groan, 'why am I so weak to his tears?' I question in dismay as I move to the closest stall and open the door.
Yatsu races inside and sets his bag on the bench before quickly unzipping it. I'm just about to go and drop my bag next to his when I feel a hand encircle my wrist. I quirk my eyebrow and look behind me to find my ex-husband looking very uncomfortable.
"Listen, I can wait outside until you're both done." The Airbender suggests as his eyes dart to everywhere except my face. I glance back to Yatsu to see him setting out his swimming wear with an excited look on his face which has me biting my lip with indecision.
"As much as I would prefer that, I think Yatsu would be crushed. You can just...we can just change with our backs to each other. We don't turn around unless the other says we can. You can change while I get Yatsu ready and then I'll change last, ok?" I suggest and after a lot of hesitation, the Air Nomad finally nods and enters the stall. I lock the door behind us and move over to Yatsu while my ex-husband moves to the furthest corner of the room. I force my eyes ahead of me and pull Yatsu in front of me.
"Alright, let's get you changed." I say as I help him out of his top.
"Mummy it's cold." Yatsu complains as he hugs his arms to himself. I purse my lips and rummage through his bag and pull out a towel.
"Pop this on until we're outside." I suggest while passing him the towel. Just as I hand the fabric to him, a gentle warm breeze reaches us. It's familiar and I recognise it instantly.
"Mama, can you feel that?" Yatsu's voice cuts through my thoughts.
"Yeah, your Dad can make the area a bit warmer with his bending." I say automatically and my eyes accidentally flicker to the man who's standing bare-chested in his trousers as he rummages presumably for his shorts. He looks up when he hears my voice and our eyes lock. Heat rushes to my face and I immediately tear my eyes away to stare at the ground in embarrassment. "S-sorry." I stumble, but the Air Nomad lets out an awkward laugh.
"That's my bad, I distracted you." The Airbender says while still laughing. I watch as Yatsu runs over to his Dad.
"I didn't know you can warm up things with airbending! Can you teach me Daddy?" Yatsu asks with wide eyes and the Air Nomad grins as he ruffles the boy's hair.
"It's quite difficult. I'd have to teach you more of the basics first, but I'm sure you'll definitely be able to do it soon." The Avatar reveals just as Yatsu's mouth parts in surprise.
"Daddy, you have blue arrows everywhere!" Yatsu breathes back in awe. It takes everything in me not to flicker my eyes towards the duo as I zip open my bag.
"Yeah, they're tattoos for mastering airbending." The Airbender explains with a chuckle as he bends down to his son's eye level, but as soon as he does the boy gasps loudly.
"Daddy what happened to your chest?" Yatsu's announcement has my whole body tensing up and I can't help but follow the boy's eyes to the large lightning scar at the centre of his chest. The years have taken off the red and raw edge it once had, but it's still an obvious and scary deformity. I swallow thickly and promptly look away as I clench my hands.
"Not sure buddy, I must've hit it into something. I hope it doesn't scare you?" My ex-husband dodges the question with such ease that I wonder if he had practice with saying it. I find my eyes wandering back to the pair just as Yatsu shakes his head vigorously.
"Nope! Mummy has lots of marks kind of like that so I'm used to it." Yatsu admits and if I was tense before then I'm absolutely stiff now. I drop my eyes away from the duo, but not before seeing the man's stormy eyes snapping towards me.
"She...does?" My ex-husband croaks back as if he's suddenly lost his ability to speak.
"Yep! All on her chest and tummy and her legs. And some on her arms too." Yatsu lists off and when I see him open his mouth again, I sprint over and clamp a hand over his mouth.
"Yatsu, that's private ." I rebuke tightly as I withdraw my hand. My son looks up at me with a sheepish gaze.
"Sorry Mama." He mumbles, but it's not him I'm worried about. No. It's the Air Nomad who won't stop staring at me in horror. His lips are trembling as moisture starts to collect in his eyes. 'Shoot!' I curse silently as I run a hand through my messy hair.
"Katara...you...you have scars all over?" My ex-husband asks haltingly. I grimace as I comb my hair through my fingers anxiously.
"She doesn't have on her back." Yatsu supplies unhelpfully. I shoot the boy a withering glower and he immediately clams up. The child takes several hesitant steps backwards until he's back by his bag.
"Forget you heard that." I utter firmly as I move to get up, but his hand grabs mine.
"I can't forget that I just heard that you have..." The Avatar trails off and it takes me a moment to realise that his hand is shaking. I bite my lip as I return to my crouched position in front of him.
"Trust me, forget it." I insist, but it lacks the bite it previously held. His stormy orbs gaze at me in anguish and something inside me crumples. 'I had hoped I would never see that look of pain in his face ever again.' I massage my forehead before enclosing his hand with mine. "I'm not bothered by them, so you shouldn't either." I murmur softly, but my eyes subconsciously drops to the white, faded lines that litter his arms.
I swallow thickly at the sight of them. 'It's been years since I last saw them. I used to see a new one added every now and again, but this time? Not a single new mark. They're all old. From years ago. From before he lost his memories.' I pinch my lips together to stop them trembling as I realise that asking him not to be bothered by them is a very hypocritical thing to say.
"Mummy? Daddy?" At Yatsu's unsure voice, we both whip our heads towards the boy to find him ready and donned in his swimming trunks. The Air Nomad clears his throat and gives his son a smile.
"Sorry Yatsu for the delay. I've nearly finished changing." My ex-husband apologises as he sets reassuring eyes on the boy who perks up when he sees the tension ebbing away. I pull my hands away from the man and push myself up to my feet.
"Could you put some suncream on him? It's quite hot today. I'll change quickly." I voice as I move away from the Airbender who's eyes I feel follow me as I move.
"Yeah of course." His voice is quiet, but I'd hate to make Yatsu feel even more out of place than he already does, so I choose not to notice and move to grab my bag.
"Catch." I say as I throw the suncream bottle towards the Air Nomad who blinks in confusion, before stretching out his arm at the last minute and catching the bottle with ease, despite the awkward angle. Yatsu claps his hands.
"Good catch Daddy." The boy praises with a tone of approval and my lips twitch into a half smile.
"Alright Yatsu, go to your Dad and he'll help you with the suncream." I encourage and the boy runs over to his Dad with a grin.
I wait until the Air Nomad has turned to give me his back before pulling out a waterproof t-shirt and a pair of long waterproof shorts. 'Not the most dazzling piece of clothing, but it's the only one that will hide the scars from him. Usually, I just wear a normal women's swimming suit with Yatsu because he doesn't really question the scars and just largely accepts that they've always been there.'
I exhale softly as I unbutton my blouse before pulling it off. I hesitate when undoing my chest bindings, but force myself to be quick with it. Just as I pick up my swimming top, my ears perk up when I hear a whisper. I bite my lip, not really wanting to turn around while being bare, so I pull the top close to my chest and then glance behind me.
"Mummy catch!" Yatsu squeals and I find the suncream bottle suddenly rushing towards me.
"Yatsu!" My ex-husband yells in warning as I raise my arm, but my reflexes aren't quite as sharp as the Airbender's is and I'm forced to dodge the bottle or risk getting smacked in the face. It hits me in the chest instead before plummeting to the ground with a thud. I grimace and rub at my sternum just as the Air Nomad rounds on the boy with a furious expression. "You could've hurt your Mum like that!" The Airbender's voice booms, shocking both Yatsu and I. The boy's face immediately crumples.
"I-I'm s-sorry." The boy stutters as he hangs his head in shame. I widen my eyes and shake my head.
"Yatsu it's fi-" I start, only for my ex-husband to cut across me as he whirls around angrily.
"It's not fine! That could've hit you in the face and..." The Avatar argues loudly, but I interrupt him with narrowed eyes.
"It wouldn't have given me a scar ." I counter sharply before waddling over to my son and crouching in front of him as I try to catch his eyes, but when I fail to do so, I stretch out my free hand to cup his chin and tilt his head up, revealing a set of tears tracking down his cheeks.
"I'm sorry Mama." Yatsu whispers as remorse radiates off of him in waves. I pull him into my chest for a hug.
"Don't worry about it. Just be more careful next time." I murmur gently as his small arms move to wrap around my back. When I glance up at my ex-husband, I note the guilt contorting his features and with a sigh, I rest my chin briefly on top of Yatsu's head. "Tell your Dad sorry too, I think you gave him a fright." I whisper lightly and I feel the boy's arms retracting as he pulls away to gaze at his father.
"I'm sorry Daddy." Yatsu apologises with trembling lips. The Air Nomad drops to his knees and wraps his arms around the boy.
"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have shouted like that." The Air Nomad mumbles as regret stains his features. I watch the two for a moment and when I see that Yatsu's tears have dried up, I move to my feet. I don't realise the boy is standing on my t shirt until I rise and it tugs right out of my hands. My eyes widen and I make a grab for it, but by the sharp intake of breath, I can tell my ex-husband already saw. I bite my tongue as I re-position the cloth over my chest, but I can feel his eyes piercing through me.
"Shoot Katara." My ex-husband curses as he stares at me while Yatsu glances between the two of us in confusion. I can't tell if I'm more mortified that he saw the scars or that he just saw my bare chest. His face isn't flushed in embarrassment, so I can only presume that the scars are what stole his attention.
"Daddy what's wrong?" Yatsu asks with furrowed eyebrows. His question is what snaps me out of my funk as I cup the boy's cheek lightly.
"Your Dad's...he hasn't seen these marks in a while, so he's just surprised." I try to explain, but the boy cocks his head in thought.
"But you've always had those? Right? I can't remember you not having them." My son points out and his words make my stomach churn. 'I used to get nightmares about Yon Rha torturing me, but they stopped a long time ago. Even though, sometimes...when I really think about it, it does leave me feeling on edge and queasy.' I swallow and force a smile on my lips.
"I...I've had them for a long, long time." My voice falters, unable to tell him the truth, but not able to bring myself to lie either. The boy's frown deepens as he steps towards me.
"You mean...you didn't always have them?" Yatsu asks quietly as his hand reaches for the cloth I'm using to cover myself. I catch his hand in mine, giving his fingers a reassuring squeeze.
"No, but it's nothing you should worry about." I brush off, but the child's lip starts wobbling.
"But that means...someone hurt you...really badly." The boy realises as his features contorts in fear. I part my lips, but I'm struggling to know how to respond to that. Yatsu pushes his free palm towards me and a jet of air rushes towards me and the cloth flies out of my grip and over to the opposite end of the room.
" Yatsu! " I yell as I use my arms to cover my breasts as my face flushes in embarrassment, but the child pays me no mind as his small hand moves to rest against one of the larger scars on my sternum. He's done the action multiple times before, but it feels different this time. Usually it's out of curiosity, but today it's something more.
"Mummy who hurt you?" Yatsu asks as a sudden fire lights-up his usual gentle eyes. I stare at him, shaken that he's taking this so seriously. And knowing that my ex-husband is watching me while in this state of undress has me feeling twisted up inside.
"Let me just...put on my top." I mumble as I try to move, but Yatsu doesn't move. "Yatsu, can you let me get past." I ask hoarsely, but he shakes his head as he moves his hand to brush against the largest scar on my abdomen, just above my belly button. The years hadn't been kind to this one. It's raised and twisted from where the fire whip had hit me.
"M-Mummy?" Yatsu's voice trembles and I curse under my breath as I forget about modesty and hug him close.
"It was a little accident is all. I was a bit foolish and got burnt, so please don't worry." I lie as I stroke his soft black hair. He looks up at me with wide eyes.
"In the kitchen?" Yatsu asks innocently. I hesitate, the continuous lying makes me sick, but I could never tell him the truth. That would scar him mentally. I take in a deep breath and nod.
"Yeah, clumsy me with the hot water." I joke, but my laugh is weak. Fortunately, Yatsu doesn't notice as the fear and anger in his eyes disappear, replaced with relief.
"Mummy you should be more careful." The boy orders sternly and I laugh at his attempt at sounding like an adult.
"Yes sweetie, I will be." I reassure gently as the boy pulls away from me.
"See Daddy, Mummy is fine." Yatsu tells his dad, but one look at the Airbender and I can tell he doesn't believe my lie for a second as his lips are pressed so tightly together that they pinch white. His eyes roam over my torso and abdomen and when they pause for longer than necessary at my breasts, I immediately raise my arm to cover them again. He purses his lips as he leans back on his heels.
"The scar at the bottom is different from the others." The Air Nomad notes as he points at the horizontal white line that sits just above my waist line.
I give him a half smile, relieved that's the one he picked out to talk about. But a part of me can't help but feel twisted up inside, as if my state of undress means nothing to him, especially when before he lost his memories he would've been a flushing mess. 'What did I expect? He doesn't have feelings for me anymore. That's reserved for Jin.' I think with a pained pang.
"That's from the C-section I had for Yatsu." I reply nonchalantly and both Airbenders stare at me.
"You had a C-section?" My ex-husband echoes back and I shrug.
"It was a difficult labour, so I needed a C-section." I explain briefly as I shift my arm slightly when I feel it tiring. "Anyway, let me finish changing. This isn't particularly comfortable." I add as a throwaway as I shift to stand. I only walk two steps before I find my ex-husband suddenly in front of me. My heart rate spikes when he grasps my biceps.
"Let go." I order, but his eyes aren't on my face, they seem to almost be assessing each scar, as if cataloguing it to memory. After several tense seconds, he leans towards me.
"Tell me the truth later." The Air Nomad whispers in my ear and a shiver runs down my spine, but fortunately he pulls back before I can push him away. I'm just about to exhale when I realise his right hand is moving towards my chest. On instinct, I slap it away and shoot him a glare.
"Boundaries. Try to respect them." I hiss, but his right hand moves again. I'm just about to slap it away again, when he catches my hand with his left one.
His right hand continues its journey forward and if I wanted to slap it away again, then I'd have to drop my other arm that's covering my breasts. I grit my teeth and resign myself to whatever he intends to do. His fingers brush against the scar at my sternum. The Airbender inhales sharply and pulls away immediately. My breathing hitches at the appalled expression on his face. 'Shoot, I thought his opinion on these scars didn't bother me anymore, but...ouch that hurt.' I think to myself as I watch him spin on his heels and pick up Yatsu.
"Come on, let's give your Mum some privacy to change and I'll take you to buy some ice cream until she's out." The Air Nomad suggests with a smile and if Yatsu was shaken up from our exchange, he doesn't show it as he visibly brightens at the mention of ice cream.
"Ice cream!" He hollers in excitement. I watch as the pair leave the stall in silence and I numbly lock the door behind them. My knees tremble and I start sinking to the ground.
"Shoot, shoot, shoot! Why...why did that make me feel so twisted up inside?" I whisper to myself as I hug my arms around me . 'What was that reaction? It was the same face he had when he first saw them. Horrified. Disgusted. Appalled. Am I really that ugly? At least he used to be embarrassed too or even had feelings for me. But he didn't show any of that, it's like...he's devoid of any feeling towards me.' I feel my throat closing up and I drop my head into my hand, clutching my hair. 'Shoot, I shouldn't care. We're divorced. I'm engaged for the love of spirits. But his expression...that shouldn't have hurt this much. His lack of a reaction towards me... shouldn't make me feel this twisted up inside.'
I clench my jaws as I rest my forehead against my fist. 'It doesn't matter. It just means divorcing was the right decision.' I try to convince myself, but my chest squeezes at the thought. I try to ignore it as I don on my swimming top and replace my jeans with the long shorts before grabbing our bags and exiting the stall. I glance around for the duo, but there's so many people around that they're hard to spot. I sigh and waddle onto the beach.
"Mama!" I blink and turn my head towards the familiar voice to find a small dot waving at me in the distance. I grin and wave at him before crossing the distance. An arrow tattooed hand appears just as I reach them to take the bags from my hands and is replaced with an ice cream. I stare down at the cone before quirking an eyebrow at my ex-husband who refuses to meet my eyes.
"You got me a cone?" I ask, sounding baffled. The Airbender shrugs.
"We each had one, seemed unfair not to get you one too." The Air Nomad mutters with averted eyes. I purse my lips, but choose not to say anything.
"Daddy paid extra for the flake because I told him you liked it." Yatsu adds helpfully, prompting a sudden intake of breath from the man. I eye him for a moment before a half smile graces my lips.
"Thank you." I voice softly. My ex-husband glances at me briefly before looking away.
"No worries. Should we do a bit of sand castle building?" He suggests, changing the subject. I turn my eyes to Yatsu who jumps up excitedly.
"Yeah!" The boy yells as he grabs my hand and his Dad's and tugs us to a free spot of sand. I lay down a couple of towels for us to sit on and we spend the next half hour building and sculpting. My ex-husband beats the two of us by a landslide with his intricate details of the great city of Ba Sing Se. A low whistle escapes me as a stare at the makeshift city.
"Wow." I breathe as Yatsu's jaw drops in awe.
"Daddy you're amazing!" Yatsu praises as he shuffles on his knees to take a closer look at the sand creation. The Airbender beams as he basks in the compliments. I quirk an eyebrow at him.
"When did you learn that? I don't remember you being able to do this before." I query curiously as the man becomes bashful.
"I don't know, picked it up after spending some time with the monks. They're very creative with their hands." The Airbender replies as he rubs the back of his neck, but for some reason his eyes are never able to properly meet mine. I furrow my eyebrows, about to question him on it when Yatsu suddenly tugs us towards the sea.
"Let's go swimming!" The boy begs and I find myself being pulled along with my ex-husband until we hit the water.
The entire time we're splashing around and swimming, I notice the Air Nomad purposely avoiding my eyes and multiple times I have to bite my tongue from saying anything because I just know it will end up in an argument and that's the last thing I want Yatsu to see.
After a while, I find myself getting tired and quietly excuse myself to go back to our towels on the beach while the boys continue playing. I watch them for a moment from my seated position, but my eyes grow heavy and without meaning to, I drift off to sleep.
1 hour later:
"Shhh, you'll wake her up." The quiet whisper jerks me back to the realm of consciousness and my eyes flutter open with a groan. The first sight I see was not what I expected. The Air Nomad is crouched over me with furrowed eyebrows and when he notices I'm awake he moves backwards so fast that he nearly collides with Yatsu who was peering over his shoulder.
"Mummy!" The boy calls out as he hops up on the bench I'm on and tackles me in a hug. My arm moves to support him, worried he'll fall due to the limited amount of space on the bench which I'm apparently lying on. I squint my eyes as I glance around me and I realise we're back in the changing room.
"Oh jeez, I fell asleep, didn't I?" I groan as I massage my forehead. The Airbender appears in my line of sight again, but his eyes resume back to avoiding my gaze.
"You did. You seem to get tired pretty easily." My ex-husband notes with a frown as Yatsu hops off the bench to go to his father.
"Mummy is always tired, I think it's because of her an..." I cut the boy off before he can finish his sentence.
"Yatsu, can you pass me my bag please." I say, distracting the boy who dashes to grab my bag. Finally, the man flickers his eyes to me as his frown deepens.
"You don't have to hide everything from me." The Air Nomad's voice is low as he gazes at me. I push myself up to a sitting position and purse my lips
"Let's not do this while Yatsu is here." I mutter as I rub my arm. The Avatar scrunches up his nose, but says nothing else as he opts to turn away from me instead. As soon as my eyes fall on his back however, I inhale sharply. "You're sunburnt." I breathe out before I can catch myself. The Airbender glances briefly to me because turning his head to the side.
"Yeah, I forgot to put some suncream." The man voices as he pulls out the bottle. "I'll just pop some on now to cool it down a bit." He utters as he unscrews the cap and starts spreading some cream over his arms and the parts of his back he can reach. My lips part to say something, but I hesitate. It's only when he starts screwing the bottle closed again, do I speak up.
"You missed most of your back." I point out bluntly which earns me an unbothered shrug.
"It's fine, Jin can put it on any areas I missed." The Avatar states smoothly which makes my stomach churn.
"Pass it here, I'll do it." I mutter as I stretch out my hand for the bottle. My ex-husband turns to stare at me in disbelief, before finally remembering that he's avoiding my gaze and he averts his eyes.
"You don't have to." The Airbender mutters.
"Come on Daddy, let Mama help!" Yatsu chimes in as he takes his Dad's hand and leads him over to me.
I scoot to the other end of the bench to give him room to sit and after a lot of hesitation he finally does. I watch as he gives me his back and it feels like deja vu for when he last did this for me not long ago. I take the suncream bottle from him and squeeze a medium size blob onto my hand before spreading a thin layer of cream across his back. I feel his muscles tense up underneath my hand and biting my cheek I finish as quickly as possible before tossing the closed bottle back to him. I get up to my feet and stretch for a moment before picking up my set of clothes.
"I'm changing in the loo." I mumble as I head to the toilet stall at the back.
"But Mummy, the toilet is cramped." Yatsu argues, but I simply give him a stern glance and he clams up.
I disappear into the loo and change as slowly as I possibly can in the hopes that the Air Nomad would've finished changing himself by the time I'm done. To my relief, when I finally exit, I find that both Airbenders are dressed and ready to go. The gruesome scar on the Avatar's chest is hidden once more. I go to pick up our other bags when my ex-husband beats me to it.
"Come on, we best head off before we get a ticket." The Airbender voices.
When we make it to the car, the journey is oddly silent. Most likely because Yatsu falls asleep within minutes into the ride and the Airbender and I purposely avoid talking to each other. When we arrive home, Yatsu wakes up and dashes to the house after saying goodbye to his father. I'm about to follow suit, already marching away from the man without another word until I feel a hand encircling my wrist.
"Katara wait. I want to talk." The Air Nomad requests quietly as my lips curl in displeasure. His grey orbs still refuse to meet my face and I find my hand clenching.
"Stop it!" I grit back, taking the man by surprise as his eyes snap to mine before skirting away.
"Stop what?" He queries in confusion.
"Stop avoiding my eyes. If you have something you want to say about my scars then say it to my face instead of skirting around me. It's rude." I retort sharply as the Airbender finally rests his gaze on me.
"I...I didn't mean anything by it." The Air Nomad argues weakly, but I snort and cross my arms over my chest. The Airbender follows my movements for a moment before returning his gaze to my blue orbs again.
"Say they're ugly and be done with it already." I hiss as I feel my fingers digging into my flesh. The Avatar balks and bends down briefly from his shock.
"Ugly? Who said anything about that?" My ex-husband throws back in disbelief, but I'm clenching my jaws in frustration.
"You haven't been able to meet my eyes ever since you saw them. The only reason you'd do that is because you think they're hideous." I fire back. 'Or because of guilt, but since he can't remember how I got them, guilt is definitely not the reason for his behaviour.' I think sourly as the Airbender shakes his head to either side vigorously.
"Katara, I just saw you completely bare from the waist up. I can't look you in the eye because I'm embarrassed!" The Air Nomad reveals as the tips of his ears go pink and his gaze drops to the ground again. Whatever rebuke I had on my tongue dies out as I stare at the man with wide eyes.
"Wh-what?" I stutter as goosebumps erupt over my arms. I note the tension in his jaws as he turns his head to the side.
"I...I've not even seen Jin like that and to my memory she's the longest relationship I've had. We've barely been in each other's lives for a few weeks and I've seen your..." He trails off as his face goes bright red.
I feel my own face heating up and I have to turn and give him my back. 'Shoot. I thought he was behaving this way because of the scars, not because he saw my privates. I don't...I don't even know how to feel about that. And I feel worse that a shot of relief ran through me when I heard that he hasn't crossed any lines with Jin.' I bite my lip hard and only stop when I feel a sting of pain. I inhale deeply to calm my nerves as I turn to eye him wearily. I feel weirdly exposed and the arms crossed over my chest don't feel like enough of a protection despite being clothed.
"I thought...you thought I was ugly. Sorry, I didn't realise it was something else." I mumble as I clutch my elbow tightly. The Avatar widens his eyes as his face becomes appalled.
"I never thought that! I...I actually thought you were..." He stalls as he chews his lip vigorously. "...I thought you were beautiful just as you are." My ex-husband admits as he stares at the ground. My body goes rigid at hearing him say that.
"Wh-what?" I echo back numbly, but the Air Nomad refuses to repeat it.
"Nothing." He mutters as he gives me his side.
My heart lurches in my chest when I realise why he refuses to repeat it. I try to create some distance between us, but the Airbender has more to say it seems. "I know you lied to Yatsu about how you got them. The hesitation was so obvious." My ex-husband voices as his tone becomes serious. I choke and the grip on my elbow becomes so strong that I can feel a mark being made there.
"I'm not telling you how I got them." I voice tensely. His jawline throbs from how hard he's clenching his jaws.
"Someone did hurt you. How do I know it won't happen again?" The Air Nomad utters fiercely and I'm almost taken aback by how protective he almost sounded there. I swallow and avert my gaze from his.
"They're dead. So, don't worry about it." I reply stiffly which makes the Airbender visibly shake.
"Dead?" He echoes back. I bite my lip and give him a one-shouldered shrug.
"Can I go now? I feel like I'm being interrogated." I say sourly, purposely ignoring his unspoken question. His shoulders slump forward in defeat.
"I wish you would tell me stuff. It doesn't even have to be stuff from our past. It could be like what Yatsu was about to say about why you're tired all the time." My ex-husband mumbles and I narrow my eyes at him.
"I told you we aren't friends." I fire back roughly and the man looks split between being angry or sad. In the end, his features just contorts into defeat.
"I know." He whispers, taking me by surprise. "I just...I really care about you. It's driving me crazy because to me, I don't even know much about you and yet you've become so important to me. You and Yatsu. I want to do the best for you both." My breathing catches at his words and I almost forget to breathe for a moment as I subconsciously take a step back.
"Yatsu I understand, but why me? I've been cold to you ever since we bumped into each other." I point out dryly, but the Airbender shakes his head.
"You try hard to put on a cold front, but I can tell that isn't you. You're soft and kind and I love that about you." My ex-husband murmurs, but I feel the blood rushing to my face as my ears pound loudly from hearing the word 'love'.
I try to swallow, but it feels like my throat muscles have forgotten how to. 'Love. That word has brought me so much pain. The last thing he had said to me before he lost his memories was that he loved me. But it was all just a lie. If he loved me, he wouldn't have lost his memories, he wouldn't have disappeared from my life, he wouldn't have broken my heart and left me with a gaping hole in my chest.' I wheeze and without another word I bolt for the house door.
"Katara!" I hear him yell after me, but I slam the house door after me as I feel my chest tightening to the point that I struggle to breathe. 'I can't...I can't be around him. Even if it's just for Yatsu, I really can't. He brings too much pain with him.'
I try to take in a breath, but I feel like I'm drowning under water which is ironic since water has always been my element. My home. But what's a home when it's all disjointed and out of place?
A/N: *clears throat* So, what do you think? Angsty enough for you guys? I had a right blast writing this, so I'm glad I was finally able to post it. The scars was something I've been eluding to several times since PM, but this is the first chapter where I really dig into Aang's reaction about them – it's a clean slate ofc, but if you had coupled this with Aang's guilt over being the cause of them, then well it would definitely be more dramatic, lucky (or unlucky?) for you guys we skipped that during PM, so I thought it would be fun to hash it out a bit more here. Plus I thought it would be fun to sprinkle in some awkwardness. And yes, yes I know – Katara could've used her healing to heal Aang's sunburn, but this works nicer and if you need a reason then healing is very draining and she was already tired…that's the best reason I can come up with haha.
I'm really loving hearing all your favourite lines, they're really making me think more deeply and help me figure out a couple of things, so thank you all for sharing! This chapter, hmm favourite line…I liked a couple, but I'll choose this:
"Mummy, who hurt you?"
Next chapter is a pretty good one I guess, a little bit more info on Katara's tiredness as far as I remember. I'm working next weekend so I'll try to post the next chapter during the week, if I'm unable to then it will be the following weekend hopefully.
24/8/24