Strolled I through the tunnel once again, passing by the sign which indicated the tunnel I'd come out of as leading to "Blook Acres". I hadn't been aware of Napstablook's endeavors in Heliciculture (or was his name spelled Napsta Blook, then?), but it wasn't a huge surprise. The racetrack, on the other hand... well, actually, I was more concerned about the snail wearing a suit. But nevermind. The sign helped greatly to get my bearings, informing my of the direction of north (assuming it could be trusted, of course). To the east was a place called "Hotland", which was a concerning name. Wasn't this mountain a stratovolcano? A distressing thought.
To the ? direction was Temmie Village, obviously. Really though, who needs a sign to tell you that? Everyone knows about the Temmie Village, and how you have to go ? and then take a ? until you reach the ? and then ? and there you are! Easy as that. I decided to not take a ?, and just kept walking.
Walking, walking, walking some more... I'd been walking this whole time. I couldn't wait to figure out how to float, and leave this part of my life behind.
Eventually I arrived at yet another intersection. The delicious smell of gold and commerce wafted out from one passageway, this one leading to a quaint little portal lined with wooden supports. I stepped through, and into a room whose walls were a scintillating array of luminescent crystals or somesuch. There was a long counter stretching across the middle of the room, and behind it was a strange-looking monster, vaguely resembling a humanoid turtle wearing a stereotypical explorer outfit. It seemed to be taking a nap, but its head snapped up as I walked in.
"Wa ha ha... so you came here," it said in a cheerful voice. "What a treat!"
That was certainly an unusual reaction. Did we know each other? Or was this just a salesmanship thing? I hear part of the art of the deal is making the customer feel special... well, I was already special enough, I didn't need buttering up.
"Ah, I see my reputation has preceded me," I replied in my most ostentatious tone. "Yes, it is a great privilege to be in my presence, I'm glad to see some people are smart enough to notice." It was a testament to my discipline and willpower that I more or less got through that with a straight face.
It seemed surprised at my response, and then it broke out into a hearty guffaw. "Well, you sure are an odd one! And a bit of a comedian, too, it seems!"
"Yes, my talent is a blessing to humanity, a ray of light shining through the dark night." I agreed, nodding along with his words. "But, it seems you've heard something of me before?"
"Oh, yes," the turtle monster continued. "I've heard a lot about you! You're the talk of the town, kid. I've been expecting you, you know."
"Really, now? Do tell." I asked.
"You've been making waves. Big ones. The whole of the underground's been talking about the human who fell down. You've got a name, too. They call you 'The Angel of death', kid. A harbinger of destruction, comin' to 'free' us from this mortal realm. They say you've got a face like an angel's, and the eyes of a demon. That you fight like a man possessed, and your soul is black as the void, and that you'll bring the end times. They're saying all sorts of things about you. But you, kid, what do you say about all this?"
"All of that is completely false, obviously," I replied with an eye-roll.
"Really, now?"
"Yes. Firstly, my eyes are not the eyes of a demon, they're a perfectly ordinary shade of brown, see?" I retorted, opening my eyes wider from the perpetual half-closed state that sleep deprivation forced them into. "Secondly, I am not here to bring the end times, that's preposterous. What could a single person possibly do that could cause the end of the world, anyway? And thirdly, I am not the angel of death. I'm just a human, and not even a very large one. Surely your 'Angel of Death' wouldn't be a small human child. He would be a terrifying creature the size of a skyscraper, covered in scales and spines and blades. He would be a demon from the depths of the abyss, an incarnation of the primordial void, the shadow beneath reality, the eternal darkness between stars. I haven't checked lately, but I'm fairly certain I'm none of those things."
The turtle monster looked taken aback. "Golly, kid, that's a really specific description, almost as if you'd seen something like that before, haha..."
"Well, yes, of course. It's not that hard to imagine. All the books I've read described angels of death and demons from the void in much the same way, it's just common sense."
"Uh, right... well, regardless, I haven't actually heard any rumors or stories about an angel of death the size of a skyscraper. I have heard, though, that a human child has fallen into the underground, and that he's a real nasty piece of work. He's been wreaking havoc throughout the land, killing anybody and everybody he sees."
"That doesn't sound like me, either. I've killed a few monsters, true, but that's almost entirely been pretty straightforward self-defense, and even then I've never killed anybody who didn't deserve it."
"Really, kid? Then how many monsters have you killed?"
"Only forty-nine," I answered.
"Forty-nine?!" he cried in alarm.
"No, wait, I forget about the ones I fought just before that nasty fall I had," I corrected myself. "fifty-eight. That's the total."
"Fifty-eight? And you don't think you're the angel of death? Golly, kid, you're not doing a very good job of convincing me!"
"Yes, but... ugh, it's not important," I replied, waving away the conversation. "What about you, then? Why have you stuck around, when there's apparently a big, evil, angel of death coming this way?"
"I guess you could say I'm just a sentimental old fool. This is my place, and I've got nothing better to do." He said. "Besides, I've lived too long to be afraid of something like you. Try it, kiddo!"
I just stared at him for a long moment, debating whether or not I should attack. On the one hand, I had no reason to want him dead, and these creatures were very fragile. On the other hand, he clearly wanted me to strike, to prove some kind of point. On the third strange, mutant hand, this seemed like an obvious trap, for exactly that reason. He just stared back, and eventually broke the silence with a wily laugh. " …I know you can't here. Wa ha... knowledge like that is the only reason I've survived so long."
"Why aren't you trying to kill me like everyone else, anyway?" I inquired. "Just about every creature I've met so far has attacked me on sight, so... why are you having a civil conversation instead of trying to fight me?"
"Eh? Fight you?" he replied. "Nah... I'm not a hero. Never was. And b'sides... These old bones aren't fit for fighting anyhoo. One attack from you, and then I'd... well... At least by talking to you, I've bought enough time for some of them to escape."
So they did age, then... or something like it, at least. Odd that he'd specify that he never was a hero. Did he have some mysterious past that he was vaguely alluding to? That sort of thing is always fun. I should really do that more often. Of course, it's not like I had much of a past to allude to, being a child and all. Oh well.
"Bravely holding the line against the big bad human by stalling him with idle chitchat while the rest evacuate? Sounds pretty heroic to me, but what do I know. What are you, then, if not a hero?" I asked. "An explorer? You've got the outfit for it."
"Wa ha ha! Yeah, I was an explorer, once," the old turtle monster agreed, nodding along. "Long ago. These days, I'm just an old salesman. You're a real curious kid, aren'tcha?"
"Well... yeah," I replied. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Hmm... that's an interesting way to put it. What's your name, kid?"
"I'd really prefer not to answer that," I answered, turning away from him. "It's... not important."
"Really? That's a weird reaction," the old turtle monster noted, and then laughed. "Wa ha ha, no need to be so cagey about it, kid! I ain't gonna use your name against ya, or nothin'."
"Oh, no, I know. It's not a matter of mistrust, or anything like that. It's just... I'd prefer not to talk about it," I replied, waving him away. "But, anyway, what's that symbol carved into the wall supposed to be? I've seen it on the money, and back in the Ruins, and I have no idea what it's supposed to be. You seem like enough of an old geezer to know all about this sort of symbolism."
"Hm? The symbol, huh?" the monster echoed. "I guess you wouldn't know it, being from the surface and all. That symbol... it's the Delta Rune. It's the emblem of our kingdom. The kingdom..." he paused for dramatic effect. "Of monsters." I raised an eyebrow at this, and he just laughed. "Wahaha! Great name, huh? It's as I always say: ol' King Fluffybuns can't name for beans!"
"Quite so," I replied. I wasn't going to question this "King Fluffybuns" name; for all I knew that was a perfectly normal name down here. "But what does it mean, then? It doesn't look much like the Greek letter δ, although I guess the triangles at the bottom look vaguely similar to the uppercase Δ, in the way that all triangles do."
"Well, that's the thing..." he began. "No one really knows! That emblem actually predates written history. The original meaning has been lost to time. All we know is that the triangles symbolize us monsters below, and the winged circle above symbolizes... somethin' else."
"Well that's just... maddeningly unhelpful, isn't it?" I said with a sigh. "It could mean anything, and you have no clue. And you people really use it as the symbol for your whole kingdom? Is the rest of your civilization so vague and nonspecific, too?"
"Not necessarily. I mean, it's not like nobody's tried to figure out its meaning," the old turtle monster said. "There are a few theories. Most people say it's the 'angel,' from the prophecy..."
"Oh no, not a bloody, buggering, thrice-damned prophecy!" I groaned. "Nothing good ever comes out of mucking around with prophecies!"
"Oh, it's not so bad," he laughed. "Besides, this prophecy is really important, even if the meaning of the Delta Rune is still a mystery. The legend goes like this: One day, an 'angel' who has seen the surface will descend from above and bring us freedom. Lately, the people have been taking a bleaker outlook... Callin' that winged circle the 'Angel of Death.' Jus' like they've been calling you. A harbinger of destruction, waitin' to 'free' us from this mortal realm. In my opinion, when I see that little circle... I jus' think it looks neat!"
I gave that a good chuckle. "Fair enough, I guess," I replied. "So... what have you got for sale, then, if you're willing to take my blood money or whatever. I guess you'd call it dust money?"
"Wa ha ha, yeah, it's all the same thing. And I've got lots to sell, kiddo." the old turtle monster declared. "Just take a look, and tell me if you see anythin' ya like. Don't expect a discount."
I carefully scanned through the wares he had on display. Among many strange and peculiar objects I couldn't even guess at the function of, there were a few that caught my eye: one was a bottle of a peculiar substance labelled "sea tea", which bore a striking resemblance to the luminescent teal water from earlier; probably it was tea that had been brewed in it, and I was very curious as to the taste. Another was a pair of worn looking glasses, whose lenses had gone cloudy, next to a beat up old notebook. These things stood out to me, in a peculiar way. What odd things to sell. Were these...
There was also an odd looking fruit. It bore a striking resemblance to an apple, but with protrusions that almost looked like... crab claws...
"Ha, I get it," I said to myself. "Crab apples. Cute."
I purchased each of the items I had my eye on in turn. Gerson leaned over and replaced the items in the display, even replacing the notebook and glasses with identical ones. How peculiar that was; did they manufacture them already so worn down? It made as much sense as anything did, down here. The glasses were easier to see through than I expected; almost eerily so, in fact. The world around me seemed... just a little sharper. Not like I was seeing things clearer, more like I was better at perceiving it, if that made any sense.
...Maybe it'd make the monsters less eager to attack; you wouldn't hit a kid with glasses, would you?
The notebook was only partially legible, and was written in a child's scrawl; I'd have to sit down to try and decipher this at some point. I took a long sip of the luminescent liquid languishing luxuriously within the... lota. Alright, that was a bit of a stretch. I took a drink from the bottle. It tasted... teal. The texture was... teal. It went down like... teal.
And then it hit me like a truck. Launched into space by a rocket. Crashing into the moon. Crashing through the moon, and detonating the sun into a supernova, which wipes out the entire solar system and then attains sapience such that it might voyage outside the wreckage of the solar system to devour other stars.
The point is, it was some potent shit.
I felt like a live wire. A live wire with a lightning bolt running through it. I felt like I could run the marathon. Not the modern 25~ mile footrace, the one Pheidippides ran! What the hell was in this stuff? Pure, concentrated aether? Magically enhanced caffeine? Crack cocaine?
...Probably not crack cocaine.
"Haha, you liked that, huh, kid?" the old turtle monster laughed.
"Like is not a strong enough word," I replied. "What the hell is in that stuff? It's a miracle, is what it is. A goddamn miracle."
"Yeah, my tea's a pretty potent stuff. Ain't had anybody have a reaction like that before, though," he said.
"I have never felt this energized in my entire life. Ever," I responded, still reeling from the rush. "It's like... wow."
"Wa haha! Glad ya like it," the monster said. "So, how's about you buy some more?"
"Oh, I am so down. What the hell is in this? Where's this tea come from?" I asked, as I pushed more of my hoard of gold onto the counter.
"Oh, just a little something I brew myself, is all. Comes straight from Waterfall, in a special kinda place," the old turtle monster replied, handing me a few more bottles as he did. "The minerals and magic of the land seep into the leaves and grow stronger, giving the tea a special kinda kick that no other tea in the underground has."
"Really, now? That sounds quite fascinating, actually. What a marvelous little piece of natural wonder, a unique phenomenon produced by the convergence of magical energies with a natural process," I remarked, eyeing the bottle closely. "It feels like every few minutes down here I'm stumbling upon a wonder that I could happily and fruitfully spend whole lifetimes studying."
"Heh, I ain't ever seen a human kid who was so interested in the stuff," the monster chuckled. "Most folks woulda just bought it and drank it, and that'd be the end of that."
"Oh, no, I can't just leave things like this unsolved. It's just not natural."
"Wa ha ha! Natural, huh? You're a real weird one, kiddo." the old turtle monster said.
"So I've been told, turtle man, so I have been told."
"You're gonna have to come up with a better name for me than 'Turtle Man,' kiddo," the old turtle monster replied.
"No promises," I said, waving him off.
"Wa ha, whatever, kid." Turtle man said with a shrug.
"Right, well, I think that's enough dilly-dallying," I announced, turning to leave. "It's been a pleasure, Mr. Turtle, but I should get going now."
"Good riddance," Turtle Man called to my retreating form. "Bad luck on your journeys, kiddo! Be a stranger now, y'hear?" His wily laugh faded as I continued onward. What a friendly guy.
As I strolled through the tunnel, the feeling of power from the sea tea gradually faded, and my eyelids grew heavy once more. I shook it off, and continued walking, ignoring my exhaustion and pushing past it as I pushed my way through the miniature plunge basins formed between pairs of waterfall along the path. The cold, dark water soaked my shoes and pants, sending chills up my spine. I continued along the path, taking a few more sips from the bottle of Sea Tea when I was feeling particularly weary, which kept me on my feet. It also fixed the occasional fried bit of clothing from my many attempts to rapidly dry it with magic.
Eventually, the water stopped getting in my way, and I found myself in a large room shrouded in darkness, so dark that even just a little ways in I already couldn't see the ground, outside of a few small patches where glowing trees and some oddly dim glowing mushrooms grew. Outside of those patches of light, I couldn't see... anything at all. Not the floor, not the walls... I reached the edge of the light pouring out of the tunnel, and felt a strange sense of vertigo. I knelt down to where the next bit of floor should be, and dropped a rock. It vanished without a sound.
There was something very, very wrong here.
There was a path to the side, marked by faintly glowing blades of grass, appearing as though they were growing out of the void itself. I took one careful step upon the grass. Aside from the faint sound of grass brushing against my shoe, there was no sound. And yet, I found it firm beneath my foot, as though there was something there. I had absolutely no idea what would happen if I were to slip off. Would I fall into the void, never to be seen again? Or would I find the floor was right where it was supposed to be, and it was just the darkness playing tricks on my addled mind?
I pulled my spectacles down a few notches, and immediately regretted it. They went right back up to covering my eyes once again, enhancing my vision, so that I could see only what was actually there (which was nothing). The frame creaked, as though in strain.
The path of grass led to a small patch of it, surrounding one of those dully glowing mushrooms. There didn't seem to be any way forward. Was the path broken? Was I condemned to the void? Condemned to be thrown from the world of light and sound into a realm of silence and darkness? Outside of this little square of light, the dark seemed to grow darker... yet darker... as though even the trace photon content of the darkest black was drained from it, leaving a void more absolute. No light, no sound, no movement, no anything at all...
Concrete, pure, surreal void.
I'd never been afraid of the dark. But I'd never been so captivated by it as I was at that frozen instant. It was just as I had said before: every few minutes down here I was stumbling upon a wonder that I could happily and fruitfully have spent whole lifetimes studying.
But, as fascinating and wondrous as this darkness was, it was also a problem. How was I to continue onward if the path was broken?
Perhaps... I could make my own?
I reached out my right hand, and called to it a shining beacon of flame. I wove my hands through it, pulling on more and more of the magic from my looted soul, and the flame grew larger and paler. At last, when it was as grand a conflagration as I could make it, I let out a booming cry of "LET THERE BE LIGHT!" and I cast it out in a great flood, sending trails of fire all over the room. The flames fell... and then found themselves stuck upon something within the void. Blades of grass winked in and out of existence all around them as the fires flickered. The mushrooms that had glowed dully before now shone in glorious incandescent light. Even then, even with all that, there were places where the darkness was too thick to light up. But there was a path. A way through the dark.
I walked down the path, following the light. In the dark, the flames began to gutter and fade, as though the void were rushing in to fill the light, in stark defiance of Horror Vacui.
I walked, and the mushrooms shone. The darkness remained absolute. As the light died and the darkness swallowed it up, the mushrooms dimmed once more. But, they were brighter than before. Just bright enough.
One path stretched far off into the dark. Another seemed just a dead end. And yet... was that a distant light I saw, down that way? I approached it, and realized that the darkness that stretched between the path and the light wasn't the void that surrounded it, but simply... darkness. Ordinary darkness. I stepped into it. Firm ground met my feet. The sound of a boot hitting stone rang out, and didn't echo at all. Another step. Another.
And then I emerged on the other side. The dim illumination of the false-stars returned, and tunnel walls surrounded me once again. My steps began to echo. Ahead of me, I heard the sounds of life and light. I'd made it out of the void, for now.
I walked through the narrow tunnel, and eventually emerged into a wider one that stretched to the left. Standing there was... I really couldn't say what they were. "Vague animals" is the best way I could find to describe them, like someone took various pet animals like cats and dogs and bunnies and who knows what else and sort of... averaged them out, to vaguely unsettling effect. Unlike those animals, each one had a fair-sized head of hair on them, in the exact same haircut, as well as two sets of ears, and what looked like a blue shirt covering their foremost half.
Truly, the UNDERGROUND was a den of horrors.
Obviously these were some kind of monster. Hadn't the turtle creature said something about the monsters evacuating? Yet they were still here. They weren't staring, but some of them were facing my way, and they'd clearly had ample opportunity to notice me. And yet they just stood around, going about their day-to-day life. Curiouser and curiouser! I kept my hand ready at the grip of my sheathed knife just in case. It wasn't the first time monsters had tried to lull me into a false sense of security, if that was what this was. I deliberately loosened my gait into a confident stroll, as if daring them to come and have a go if they think they're hard enough.
Beside the entrance, next to the largest group of them, was a sign.
hOI!
welcom to...
TEM VILLAGE!
It was hard to understand what it said, as it seemed to be written in some local dialect. It didn't seem entirely incomprehensibly divergent, however. "hOI!" was probably "Hi!", for instance. And "welcom" was obvious enough. "TEM VILLAGE!" I was less sure about, though it sounded strikingly familiar. Was this the... "Temmie Village" the earlier sign mentioned? Its directions certainly seemed all the more appropriate, now.
? Indeed, sign, ? indeed.
On the wall behind the sign and the group was some sort of artwork, probably a painting, that depicted an especially fluffy version of those creatures that bore neither hair nor shirt riding upon some sort of serpent, possibly a 龍 of some kind. Was it a scene from their mythology, depicting some ancient hero's mastery over the primordial chaos? Mayhap. It might also have been an entirely literal depiction of events, maybe even recent ones. I hadn't seen any enormous snakes, or snakes in general for that matter, so I wouldn't worry too much about it just yet.
And so I stepped into this little town square of sorts, deliberately loosening my gait into a confident stroll, as if daring them to come and have a go if they think they're hard enough. As I stepped past the first one, it turned to me and exclaimed a greeting in that dialect of theirs "hOI! im temmie! and dis is my friend... temmie!" The second and third gave much the same greeting. It seemed my speculation had been correct, and this was, in fact, almost certainly the "Temmie Village". Temmie, it seemed, was also the name the inhabitants bore. But which bore the name first?
"Hi," said the fourth, in a calmer, slightly less high pitched voice. "I'm bob." It seemed to lack the dialect of the others, and the name. Did that imply that the fourth of the creatures wasn't always living here, in the Temmie Village, and had moved from somewhere else? It was possible. If so, that would be a bit of weak evidence for the "they're named after the village" theory. It was also possible... that I was spending too much time thinking about this, and should probably just move on.
There were more signs around, both of which advertised what seemed to be the local emporium, assuming I was parsing them correctly. Past the signs was a statue labelled "Tem", probably the founder or somesuch. Or maybe it was a religious thing... many religions do have a god in their image, one way or another. Through a passageway between the signs I could see another of the creatures behind what appeared to be a cardboard box with the words "Tem Shop" crudely scrawled upon it.
Not even a proper counter to its name... how tragic. It was hardly a surprise, of course; it would be hard for any civilization to prosper, cut off from the rest of the UNDERGROUND by a mysterious void, as they were. They could be the most wealthy town in the world, with endless supplies of natural (and unnatural) resources and mountains of golden coinage, and it wouldn't matter a whit if they couldn't spend any of it because they're cut off from the rest of the world.
Oh well, you know what they say: sucks to be you.
As I approached the shop, the Temmie behind it turned its head towards me, and, upon seeing me, jumped up onto its hind legs and cried "hOI! welcom to... da TEM SHOP!"
I nodded back in polite recognition. "Hello," I replied. "So, uh... what do you have here?"
"i have many things here! like... temmieflakes!" The creature returned, and pulled out a series of jars from behind it, each filled with what looked an awful lot like shredded pieces of construction paper. "tem flakes VERY GOODS! they are made with... da tEMMIE SOUL! and are good fur health and energy! they are da best for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, and balanced diet! buy them! and eat them! and stay healthy! tem! tem!"
"Yes, well, that's all quite interesting," I replied, doing my level best to pretend I understood any of that. Did it say something about... no, that was probably a fancy way of saying it was made with magic. Yes, that would be the explanation, for sure. "I'd love to purchase some, but I'm afraid I have a rather specific question."
"ask it!" the monster replied, in the same excited tone.
"Alright, so..." I began. "What does the word 'tem' mean? It seems to be a big part of your vocabulary, and I can't quite make out what it's supposed to be referring to."
"well," the monster responded. "it is not a word, it is a concept. the concept is temmie."
"I see..." I replied, rubbing my chin in thought. "That makes a great deal of sense, actually. I think I'm beginning to grasp what's going on here, then."
"ya!" the monster exclaimed. "its tEMMIE culture. da concept of tEMMIE, and tEMMIE iz da concept of tEMMIE."
"Ah, so this is a cultural phenomenon. That explains a great deal," I replied, nodding sagely.
"yea! it VERYY! important in our lives!" the creature continued. "every TEM haz their own definition of tEMMIE! it a tEMMIE community!"
"Interesting, interesting," I replied. "Is there anything else you'd like to tell me about this fascinating culture?"
"yea!" da monster replied. "in fact, tem can tell u about creation tail."
"Please, go right ahead. I'm always fascinated by such things," I replied.
"cratetion tal goes like this... long, long tim ago, before dawn of tim, when ther was notinn but endles, dark, emty spase... concept of 'Tem' appeared. ther was no pepoles, and no 'temmies' existed. ther was only 'Tem'. ans from 'Tem', rest of realty was born, cretated by Tem's sheer exictense! as 'tem' appered, so did everytem else. tim and spase, da erf and stars, plants and amnimals, da elements, and evrytem else in eggsistience... dey was all creatated from concept of 'tem'."
"That's... certainly a story," I commented. "Easily one of the stories I've ever heard."
"ya!" da tEMMIE declard. "ans now, in dis reality, the concept of 'tem' exists. and its form is... us! the temmies! we da the embodiment of 'tem'!"
"Right, yes, that's certainly a concept," I replied. "You've put a great deal of thought into that."
"ya!" the temmie exclaimed, seeming happy to have gotten a compliment. "tem study hard for colleg!"
"Ah, yes, colleg. Very important." I agreed, nodding along. "Edumacation is vrey impotent. I'll take half a dozen of the 'tem flake (ON SALE)', please." The creature excitedly started shoveling out a few handfuls worth of the little flakes as I pulled out my bag of coins. A sudden surge of drowsiness hit me as I tucked the flakes away in their own little bag, probably from the mental strain of trying to parse an unfamiliar dialect, and I set the cloudy glasses down on the cardboard box for a moment so I could rub my eyes. I blinked a few times, and noticed the world around me had grown a little less sharp, a little darker... and not just to the eyes. I felt a strange grim feeling poke at the edge of my mind.
"WOA!" the temmie exclaimed suddenly, interrupting those strange thoughts. "wat r dose specks?!"
"Oh, these?" I asked, gesturing vaguely in their direction. "Just an old pair of clouded up glasses. They help me see... kinda."
"OH! oh!" the temmie said, sounding surprised. "can... can i see? plz?"
"Sure, why not," I shrugged, and picked the glasses up off the box. The Temmie immediately began fumbling with them. It took a while, but finally the Temmie managed to get them on its face, and...
"Wooooaaaaaaahhhhhhh..." the temmie let out.
"Um, yes, they're very cool," I said. "Can I have them back now, please?"
"woaaaaaaahhhh..." the temmie continued.
"Alright, alright, give them here," I said, snatching them back. "Jeez."
"woaaaaaaahhhh" the temmie kept saying. "they make tem see world diffrent. da world is... so... BEAUTIFUL..."
"Um, okay, yeah, they're very pretty," I said. "Can I just-"
"dey make tem see things. whol new worold. whol new realty... da world is full of possibilites and wonder... it not dark and empty... it is... the purest form of 'tem'..."
"Well, um, yes, they are very, uh..." I said, backing away slightly. "Are you, um, going to be alright?"
"oh! um, yea! i'm ok!" the temmie declared, finally looking up at me. "da ClodGlass. can tem... can tem have dem? please? I'll give you much muns!"
"I don't..." I began, then my tired brain caught up with what the creature had said. "...How much muns?"
Without another word, the temmie reached underneath the cardboard box and pulled out a little pile of coins. A quick look through it revealed it to amount to 51 coins. That... certainly was much muns. Quite a bit more than I paid for them. On the other hand...
"Well... I don't know," I said, dragging out each syllable for dramatic effect. "I'm not sure I could part with such a marvelous pair of spectacles such as these... they weren't easy to come by, you know?"
The temmie looked at me like I'd said I supported the extinction of the human race. "b... but..." it began, valiantly attempting to put its deep ennui and profound horror and dismay into words. "p!" it eventually got out, in a poetic declaration that would put Shakespeare and Swift to shame. It pulled out another dozen or so coins and poured them onto the pile.
I gave a powerful sigh, and slowly placed the glasses upon the cardboard counter, gingerly pushing the pile of coins into my pouch. "Very well, then," I declared. "They are yours, though it pains me to say. Take them, and cherish them."
The temmie let out an ear piercing squeal of delight and snatched up the glasses. "TANK YOU!" it cried.
"By the way," I began, as the glasses were placed on the creature's face once again. "If I were to... stumble upon more glasses like these... say, a few dozen of them... or maybe as many as I could possibly carry... would you happen to be interested in making a few more purchases, perchance?"
The temmie looked up, and I saw its eyes glinting behind the dark, clouded glass. "...i may b," the creature replied.
A feral, downright primeval grin slowly grew to overtake my face. Were I a cartoon character, I was sure my pupils would have turned to dollar signs. Was there some sort of spell for that I could learn? I'd have to look into that. "Excellent, excellent," I replied. "Temmie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
"ya," the temmie replied, mirroring the same smile. "tem think so too!"
I left the shop, my pouch a little heavier and my gait a lot lighter. It was time to make money. Loads of money. As much money as I could possibly carry, in fact. Money that I wouldn't spend on anything, since money is just rocks with a pretty picture, and not even a good one, and what could a human want or need in this world that couldn't be taken by force, ripped from the breast of mother nature? No, this money would be spent solely to make more money, to grow larger and larger, a golden chain binding me to the land of the living, proof that I existed.
And with each link forged, I would grow a little stronger.
"awawawawah!" Came a cry from behind me as I turned toward the exit of the village. I turned to see another of the temmies staring at me with a strange look in its eyes. "humans... such a... CUTE!"
What an odd thing to say. It was true, of course, humans are the cutest animal, but it was still an odd thing to hear cried after you in the town square. Was this some sort of catcall? I really wasn't sure how to respond. So I didn't.
As I left the light of the Temmie Village, that grim feeling from earlier began to resurface, growing more and more potent as I walked. As I emerged into the void, I felt a peculiar sort of vertigo, as the path and the void and everything around me seemed to... twist. I shut my eyes tight, and the feeling somewhat faded. I'd forgotten what had happened when lowered the glasses earlier. That was very foolish of me.
I thought back to the path I'd taken before. The memories were crystal clear, in stark contrast to the fragmented ones from earlier. Strangely clear, even... ten steps here, turn there, five steps here, turn again, twenty steps there...
I opened my eyes again when I heard the sound of flowing water in front of me. The grim feeling faded, and my earlier cheer came back in full force. I leapt through the water, charging down the tunnel with reckless abandon. A creature like a seahorse with the head of a regular horse sent muscle-shaped projectiles at me, and I cleaved through it without even slowing. I hurtled into the turtle man's shop, barely stopping myself from hitting the counter. He looked startled at my sudden appearance. It was the first time I'd ever seen him look completely bushwhacked.
"Wa ha ha! Goodness, kiddo, you certainly do know how to make an entrance, don't ya?" the old turtle monster remarked, recovering his composure.
"Hey!" I exclaimed, as I tried to steady my heartbeat. "You said you wanted to stall me, right? Give the others time to escape my all-consuming wrath? I just found a fantastic way for you to do that!"
"Did ya now?" the monster responded, leaning forward and putting his elbows on the counter. "Alright then, I'm listenin'."
In lieu of reply, I pulled my bag of coins off my pack and poured every last one of them onto the counter in a large heap.
"Five hundred cloudy glasses."