Kakashi is woken up by the clicking of the front door's lock, followed by a thump and Naruto hissing "oh, crap, that's loud". Groggily, he cracks his eye open, just in time to see Naruto poke his head around the doorway.

Naruto laughs nervously. "Sorry, did I wake you up?" he asks. "I got the books you wanted, but they're kind of heavy. I dropped the bag by accident." He holds up a plastic bag with both hands. Judging by the way he's leaning backwards, his backpack is filled with books as well.

"It's okay. Thanks for- getting the books." Kakashi yawns in the middle of his sentence, his eyes squeezing shut. It doesn't seem like his nap helped his tiredness. Every muscle in his body is sore, and the throbbing behind his left eye has turned into a fierce headache. He'd been on his feet for barely an hour this morning, but it feels like he just fought an army.

As though reading his mind – again – Naruto rummages around in the bag. "Also, I figured these would come in handy," he says, holding up a box of painkillers. "And I got more tea, 'cause I ran out. And I got more ramen. The fancy kind." He grins and tosses the painkillers at Kakashi. "The things you can do with a better allowance, am I right?"

"You're a saint, kid," Kakashi says, catching the painkillers. "Hang on, I'll pay you back." He hadn't had the chance to think about it much, but Naruto's been spending quite a bit of money just to keep him alive. The painkillers, the food, the medicine – Kakashi does some quick math in his head and instantly feels guilty.

He rolls onto his side to reach for his backpack, which is lying underneath the bed, and unseals one of the side pockets with his chakra.

"Ah, no, you really don't have to," Naruto tries, but Kakashi is already holding the money out to him. At Kakashi's unimpressed stare, Naruto hesitantly takes the money and pockets it. "Thanks."

"You should make a habit of counting the money you receive," Kakashi says, lying back down. "The world is full of people who'll try to take advantage of you." He gave the kid too much money, but that's beside the point.

Naruto sticks his tongue out at him. "I don't want to make a habit of being suspicious of people I trust." He sets his backpack down on the floor and sits down at the end of the bed. "Anyway," he says, "you said you wanted to talk when you'd slept a bit. Are you feeling up to it or do you want to go back to sleep?"

It sounds tempting to sleep some more, but unfortunately, Kakashi gets the impression that he would've felt just as tired after twenty hours of sleep as he feels after two. He shrugs. "We can talk," he says. "Though it's probably for the best if we wait for the painkillers to kick in first, okay?"

They pass the time by eating the food that Iruka gave "Dog-san", and by going over the books Naruto brought. He picked out a simple book about henge that should have enough information for now, and he found a bunch of books about different techniques to hide chakra. The information in most of those books is already familiar to Kakashi, but there's a handful of books that look interesting.

Naruto dangles his legs over the edge of the bed, chewing on some chicken. "I had a really weird conversation with some stranger in the library," he says, mouth full.

Kakashi looks up from the book he's flipping through. "Did they seem onto you?"

"Nah, not that kind of weird conversation. Just… weird." Naruto swallows his chicken and picks at his front teeth with his fingernail. "He told me to make choices that'll make me happy in the long run, instead of doing stuff that'll only make me happy for a little while. I guess it was some sort of don't-be-impulsive-or-you'll-regret-it lecture."

Kakashi hums. "I agree," he says. "You shouldn't be impulsive."

"Well, yeah, I get that," Naruto retorts. "But how do I know whether I should leave or stay here? How do I know which is the right choice?"

"You don't." Kakashi closes his book. "It's complicated to choose between leaving and staying. It was complicated for me as well, and I was four years older than you are. I'm still not fully sure I made the right choice. All I know is that staying in Konoha would've killed me. That made the decision easier." He gives Naruto a wry look. "But for you, it's more difficult. And I'm afraid I'm about to make the whole thing even more difficult for you. I said before that leaving wouldn't be as easy as you thought it'd be- I should explain what I meant by that."

He should explain why Konoha won't let him go like they let Kakashi go. Why Naruto is more valuable to them than Kakashi was. Kakashi doesn't even know if the kid will believe him when he tells him that.

Naruto just nods at him expectantly, and Kakashi looks down at the library book in his lap, trying to figure out where to start. There's so much Naruto doesn't know. He'll have to start this story at the very beginning.

"When you were a baby," Kakashi says eventually, "you had a seal on your stomach. You still have it, don't you?"

Naruto nods. "Yeah."

"Did anyone ever explain to you what it was for?" Kakashi asks. He's sort of hoping the kid will say "yes" – Naruto didn't know what a Jinchuuriki was when Kakashi had used the word before, but maybe the long word was just confusing him. The kid did have a concussion at that point, after all.

Naruto shakes his head. "Nope," he says. "I'm assuming that you're about to explain it to me?"

"Assumption correct," Kakashi replies – his tone is lighthearted in a reflexive attempt at hiding the shaking in his voice. Neither of them is going to like this conversation. "You may want to brace yourself for what I'm about to tell you. It's going to be a lot to process."

Naruto physically braces himself, digging his heels into the floor and clenching his hands around the corner of the mattress, and Kakashi laughs involuntarily but he can't manage to keep his nervousness out of the sound.

"So... I don't know the story from start to finish. I'll tell you what I know, though." He finds himself physically bracing himself as well – he'll really have to revisit his memories of that night again. He'd prepared himself for the possibility. It sucks regardless. "I know that ten years ago, on the night you were born, Konoha was attacked by the Nine-Tailed Fox."

A grimace pulls at his mouth. He's there again, underneath that full moon, his feet carrying him desperately towards his sensei and Kushina and his senses filled with the Fox' oppressive chakra signature. He'd made the mistake of following orders at first, of retreating with the other young shinobi like he was told, instead of running straight towards his sensei and Kushina immediately. He was already blaming himself for that then, before he knew he was too late.

Naruto hums thoughtfully, and it pulls Kakashi back to the present a little but not entirely. "I know a little bit about the Nine-Tails," he says. "I know the bastard killed my parents." He sounds quietly bitter, and Kakashi feels something clench around his heart. Naruto isn't going to like where this story is going.

Kakashi unsticks his tongue from the roof of his mouth; his mouth is suddenly dry. "It did," he says softly. "But before it killed them, your parents managed to seal the Fox away. They saved Konoha."

He's back on that field, the stench of blood in the air and bile rising in his throat. He swallows against the phantom sensation, blinks against the images behind his eyes.

While he's busy composing himself, Naruto is staring at him, his expression complicated. "You asked about the seal on my stomach," he starts, his voice flat with shock. "Did they-"

"Yes. Yes, they did."

"Oh." Naruto digs his nails into the edge of the mattress. His knees are shaking.

Kakashi tries hard not to start shaking himself. "I'm sorry-"

"Don't say anything." Naruto is staring down at his legs. "Sorry, I can't- I need-" He draws in a trembling breath. "I need to figure out a way to understand this. Just- give me a minute."

"Okay," Kakashi says quietly. "Do you… want some tea?" He needs to find something to do, something that'll get him out of his own head. He needs to stop focusing on the hurt of the past; there's more than enough hurt sitting right in front of him.

Naruto's chin dips down in an almost-unnoticeable nod, and Kakashi heaves himself up on unsteady legs to shuffle over to the kitchen. Naruto joins him in the kitchen when the kettle whistles, sitting down quietly at the kitchen table. His eyes are red-rimmed.

Kakashi is pouring them tea when Naruto's voice breaks the silence. "So…" he whispers, his shoulders pulled up to his ears, like he's afraid to finish his sentence. "Is that… Is that why they hate me? Because of the Fox?"

The question doesn't surprise Kakashi – with everything the kid has told him, he has a pretty clear idea of how this village has been treating Naruto. The question doesn't surprise him, but that doesn't make it easier to answer. "I can't know for sure," he replies truthfully, softly. "But… probably."

"So it's…" Naruto looks up at him, tears welling up in his eyes. "So it's not my fault they hate me?"

"No. It's not." Kakashi sets down the kettle and leans against the counter. "They hate the Fox, because it took their loved ones or their homes, but the Fox isn't around to respond to their hatred, so they hate you instead. They would've blamed your mother if she were still alive; if she hadn't wanted a child, this wouldn't have happened. But she's dead, so the villagers blame you and the demon that's sealed in you."

"The attack happened because I was born?" Naruto asks, his tone fragile.

Kakashi nods mutely. "The Fox was sealed in your mother," he replies, "but the pregnancy weakened the seal. She was aware of the danger, and so was your father. They chose to have you anyway. You were that important to them."

His attempts at making it sound less horrifying go right over Naruto's head. The kid's gaze looks flat with sorrow. "So if I hadn't been born, none of that would've happened," he says. "My mom and dad would've still been alive, and the village would've been okay."

"Please don't say that."

"But it's what the people in the village think, isn't it?" Naruto stares down at his lap, his jaw clenched. "It's the only thing I could've done to not make them hate me. There's nothing else I can do-" He cuts himself off and looks up at Kakashi, tears dripping down his face. "My parents died that night," he says, his voice almost steady but not quite. "You said they were important to you. Do you-" His voice catches in his throat, and he tries again, more quietly: "Do you hate-"

"No." Kakashi interrupts him, because he can't stand to let this kid believe that nonsense for a second longer. "No, I don't hate you. And I'm sure there's other people in the village who feel that way, and I'm sure you're not irredeemable in the eyes of the ones that do blame you. You're only ten, and you've done nothing wrong. If you decide to stay, you'll have a lifetime ahead of you to show them that you're the great kid that you are."

Naruto only shrugs, staring at the tabletop. Kakashi decides to let him have a moment, and he quietly sets the cup of tea down in front of him. Naruto shakily takes the cup with both hands and stares at it blankly, steam rising towards his pale face.

Kakashi sits down as well and silently sips from his own cup. It's some sort of minty tea. He hardly registers the flavor through his bitter-tasting worry. Naruto is visibly upset, and Kakashi doesn't know how to make him less upset. The guilt is threatening to consume Kakashi. Naruto needed to know the truth, but it's clearly difficult for him to wrap his head around all of this. Would there have been a better time to tell him? He doesn't know. If he could go back in time, he would've told the kid years ago.

Kakashi's cup is half empty by the time Naruto wipes at his eyes and gives him an unsteady smile. "Okay, so," he says, his voice cracking. "Everyone hates me, and there's nothing I can do about it. In a way, that's good, right? It should make leaving easy. At least they won't miss me."

Kakashi tightens his hands around his cup. "I wish it were that simple," he says honestly, "but it's not. That's the point I've been getting to."

Naruto exhales a shaky laugh. "You're kidding me."

"Unfortunately, I'm serious." Kakashi muffles a cough behind his scarf. "The thing is that the Jinchuuriki – which is what you are – are always very powerful shinobi when they grow up. They can do things other shinobi can't, because of the Tailed Beasts sealed inside them."

"That should make it even easier to leave," Naruto says. "If we're in danger, I can protect us."

"You're not wrong," Kakashi replies, "but the Hokage also likes being protected from danger. He'll want to keep you here, so that you can protect Konoha when you're older." He clears his throat. "If you leave, he'll try to get you back by any means necessary. It's possible he'll never stop trying."

Naruto's gaze is fierce. "So he's only been nice to me because I could be useful to him when I'm older. Is that it?"

"I don't think that's the only reason," Kakashi says. "The Hokage isn't heartless, and he cares about the people in his village. It's very possible he just likes you as a person." He sighs. "But if you leave and he tries to get you back, it won't be just because he likes you, no."

"Got it." Naruto shakes his head, rubbing a hand across his face. "Kakashi-san, I want to get out of here."

There isn't the slightest bit of hesitation in the kid's breaking voice. He's already made his final decision, before Kakashi has properly finished talking. Kakashi swallows down his rising panic. "Are you sure?" he tries in vain. "It'll be dangerous-"

"I want to get out of here."

"-as soon as we leave, you have to assume everyone will be your enemy-"

"I want to get out of here."

"-I'm not sure if I can protect you-"

"I want to get out of here."

"-it'll be a lot of work to prepare-"

"Kakashi-san. Please." Naruto is breathing hard. "I don't want to stay here. I can't. I th- I think it would kill me."

"Okay," Kakashi breathes. "Okay, I understand. You want to come with me and there's nothing I can say to make you change your mind. But I'd like to warn you about some things regardless, and I need you to let me speak."

Naruto grimaces, but nods.

"I know it sounds impossible to stay in Konoha," he says, "but… if I said that the life of a missing-nin was easy, I'd be lying. You can assume that everyone is your enemy: shinobi have to kill you on sight, other missing-nin will hunt you for the price on your head, civilians could snitch on you to either of those groups. There's a lot you can do to avoid conflict, but if your enemies get their hands on you, you will get hurt." He exhales slowly. "I'll… try my best to keep you from getting hurt. But I've been truly awful at that in the past, and I'm not in the best shape on top of that. If we run out there with nothing to rely on except my ability to protect us- The best-case scenario is that you'll be dragged back to Konoha and I'll be locked up here for the rest of my life. The worst-case scenario is that we're both captured by other missing-nin and tortured to death – or that they'll try to take your power for themselves. The Hokage isn't the only one who would want to use the power of a Jinchuuriki, after all."

Naruto takes a long sip of his tea. He's trying to hide it behind the cup, but his lower lip is trembling. Kakashi's instincts had been correct; Naruto had had an idealized idea of what leaving would be like. He feels guilty for crushing that ideal to pieces, but it needed to be done.

"I need you to realize what you're getting yourself into," Kakashi says softly. "If we want to survive, we'll need to hide your identity at all times. You'll need to get really good at henge really fast, and at lying, and I'll need to find a way to hide your chakra signature. I can't say for certain that we can do it. We'll need a lot of luck to pull it off."

Naruto continues drinking his tea, staring down into his cup with a frown. When he's finished his tea, he sets the cup down on the table and looks Kakashi straight in the eye. "But," he says, and he sounds almost desperate, "if we do manage to do all of that – if we work hard, if we can leave without anyone coming after us, if we're super lucky – we'll… We'll be okay, right? We'll do lots of farming and we'll live in inns and work in a library and we'll get to do all of the boring-and-peaceful crap you talked about before. Right?"

"That's right." Kakashi leans his chin onto his hand. He's done with the pessimistic stuff; if he's being honest about what it's like to be a missing-nin, he also has to be honest about the good things. "Once I've gotten my strength back some, we can travel. We can pretty much go wherever we want and do whatever we want, as long as we keep our identities hidden – one of the perks of not being loyal to a Hidden Village is that you don't have to follow orders. It's one of the things I like the most about it."

Naruto nods. "I think I'll like that, too," he replies, quietly optimistic again. "I'm not all that good with rules."

"Me neither." He already sees the daydream in Naruto's gaze, and he quickly adds: "I do hope you'll follow the rules I make, though? It's true that missing-nin can do whatever they want, but if you don't listen to me from time to time, we'll both kind of end up dead."

Naruto laughs, the sound hoarse from his earlier emotions. "Yeah, no, I get that." He also leans his chin onto his hand with a sigh. "I really look forward to leaving. With everything I know now… I really can't imagine staying here."

Kakashi looks away. "I'm sorry I had to tell you all of that."

"No, it's…" Naruto smiles wrily. "Well, it's not fine, but I'm glad I know the truth, now. You don't happen to have any more lifechanging truths I need to know about?"

Kakashi huffs a laugh. "Nah. You're all caught up."

"Awesome. I don't think I would've been able to handle any more today." Naruto stretches his arms above his head and then gets up. "Guess it's time to get to work, then, huh? We both have a crap ton of reading to do before we're ready to go."