Renaissance of Love
by Castlefan6
A/N: By Request, PRE-Series Hookup, This is the continuation of Diminished Recall; you must read that first, or this won't make sense. CAUTION: THIS IS NOT CASKETT. It continues on Rick's discussion with Alexis about the night he danced, fell in love, and lost contact with a girl in college; sometimes memories come back at the worst time. COMPLETELY AU, except for the conversation that prompted this and the use of some character's names. This picks up immediately after the conclusion of the original, with no time-lapse.
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I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only
This began as a request from CRed1988; I hope it's close to what you wanted.
Chapter 4
Later, on the Same Day, Hamptons
Rick had spent the last three hours explaining how he and Lanie had come about, the mystic of Allison,AKA Lanie, the heartbreak of waking to find her gone, and the frustration in searching for her. Finally, how he had tracked her down and then the start of their relationship.
He didn't hold back when he told her that she had written him a Dear John letter and then the trip to the hospital in Germany. He explained how close he had become to her parents, and well, perhaps that was one reason that they lasted as long as they did. He loved her folks; her Dad seemed to be the father he had never had, and when he got ill, the cruelty of the disease impacted him deeply.
Rick shared the details of why and when he joined the service. His opinion and evaluation of himself were the lowest they had ever been when Lanie chose college over him. He knew he needed to go somewhere where he could prove his value, if not to others, at least tohimself. He was proud that he served his country and proud that he was able to make a difference in a few lives.
He still received Christmas cards from the crew that lived through the crash landing of the aircraft that almost cost him his life. He never boasted nor even acknowledged that he had served and would be unknown to others except for people like Esposito, who spread the word.
Espo's gossip confirmed the rumors after his display, with Detective Beckett defending his phone as she attempted to grab it. Lanie had been correct; he could have easily broken her shoulder or arm, but heeased up. Laurie knew through her training, as well as reading his body language and tone, not to pursue that issue.
He paused for a few minutes, so she chose to snuggle into his shoulder, "Nothing you have said has caused me one bit of concern; it only reinforces the thoughts I have hung on for so long." She said quietly,
He turned her headand kissed her gently, "Are you sure, Laurie? My life, well, parts of it were and are still a mess." He confessed,
"Do you remember the one dance we shared? I mean, it probably didn't mean anything.
"It was at your birthday dinner. The bar where we were supposed to meet Kyrahad a band, and they played a slow song, and I asked you to dance. As usual, Kyra was needed by her mom, who texted us to go ahead with your celebration." He said softly,
"Rick, I never thought you would remember that. I mean, I never forgot it, but"
"The band was called the Misty Blues, and they had a female singer singing Dorothy Moore's hit Misty Blue. We danced together, and I held you tighter and longer than I should, and then you decided it was time to take you home. I thought I had stepped over the line." He said, looking away,
She gently took his head between her tiny hands and turned his face to her; she looked deep into his eyes and kissed him long and sweetly. "Rick, the only reason I wanted to go was I knew if I had one small moment, I would step over the line, and Kyra was my friend.
"Hell, I didn't want to destroy the friendship I had with youand never be able to spend any time with you. I'm so sorry. You took it as I was offended, but I wasn't. I treasured that moment for years." She said, as she gently reached into her small purse, pulled out her iPod and placed one earbud in her and Rick's ear, and hit play,
Out came the song as they had heard it so many years ago,
Oh, it's been such a long, long time
It looks like I'd get you off of my mind.
But I can't, just the thought of you (just the thought of you)
Turns my whole world misty blue (misty blue)
Oh honey, just the mention of your name (just your name)
Turns the flicker to a flame
Listen to me, good, baby.
I think of the things we used to do
And my whole world turns misty blue.
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
Baby, I should forget you.
Heaven knows I've tried (you know I tried)
Baby, when I say that, I'm glad we're through
Deep in my heart, I know I've lied
I've lied
I've lied
Ooh (just the thought of you)
(Misty blue)
Rick picked her upand set her feet gently on the floor. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and they danced to the song that had sparked so much between them that they had both fought for years. This time, he held her tightly, and she placed her head on his shoulder as the song played on a loop for at least fifteen minutes.
There were no sounds other than the music, except for the soft sounds of Laurie's tears of joy. She had waited, dreamed, fantasized, and finally accepted the only place she would ever be this close to him was in her dreams, and now here she was.
Finally, she said through soft tears, "I was so happy, I couldn't believe you were holding me on a dance floor." I called Kyra, and she just said, "Hey, it's you and Rick. I trust you both, don't worry about it." I did because I knew my thoughts—they were far from what a best friend should have been." She looked down,
Rick tilted her head back upand kissed her deeply and gently, "I was more guilty than you were. You were the closest I had come to cheating on anyone, and God as my witness, I know I couldn't have said no. Thank God you took the action you did. It's a memory we both can live with now with smiles. We didn't do anything wrong."
She looked at him as she raised her eyebrows, "Ok, perhaps we thought about it, but at least we can say neither of us cheated on K. I'm not sure she could say the same thing towards the last few weeks, but hey, that was a long time ago." He said,
"Rick, she never cheated. I know that, so please don't hold that thought, and don't let it rob you ofgood memories. I can live with your memories of her, but I can't live with your heart still loving her as much as it once did. I know I would never win in that contest. All I want is a chance to make you happy, as happy as you've already made me." She said softly, as tears fell from her eyes,
His handkerchief appeared out of nowhere again, drying her tears, and then he kissed each eye. "Laurie, she's in love with Gregg, and you already know I've done this dance twice before. Kyra and I had a young love; I want to build the love adults have, no innuendo, no talking in subtext, just honest, direct conversation." He saidas she pulled him closer, turned her iPod off, and led him to the bedroom.
"OK, you want direct, how about this, Rick, I want you to make love to me, the way I've dreamed about for years, make me want you even more than I already do," she said, suddenly looking at the floor again,
12th Precinct
New York
Same Time Frame
Kate's shoulder had finally started to respond to some of the therapy and painkillers she had been prescribed since the incident with Castle and his phone. Besides the physical pain, she had endured a first-class ass-chewing from the Mayor, Commissioner, and finally her Captain.
The only reason she had not faced more severe punishment was that Castle had told Mr. Mayor that if she were suspended, he would stop helping him politically. Apparently, he was a large contributorand someone he could trust with tasks such as thosehe had just done. She had tried to talk to Lanie about WHY he would stick up for her, but she had been shut down every time she had brought his name up.
She still couldn't figure out the connection between the Mayor, her Captain, and Castle. One is a career cop, one is a politician, and the other is a best-selling writer of murder mysteries. She searched for the connection, but nothing she ever came up with fit all three. Her questions to Lanie had only earned her Lannie's patented eye glare and silence.
Lanie was still very guarded with any additional details about Rick that she hadn't shared with Kate in their first talk. She was scratching her head in frustrationwhen Lanie walked by her desk and said, "For what it's worth, Rick Rogers is the man you should be researching; Castle only came about AFTER his success as a writer. If it were me investigating, I would start with his tattoo and work backwards." She said as she walked by to drop off some files on the Captain's desk.
Of course, she thought, what an idiot. She was checking on Rick Castle when he had not changed his name until years after the three men had been affiliated in some capacity. She began her search again using his correct legal last name at the time. She hit paydirt from his early life, including a marriage record and discharge papers from the U.S Marines.
She managed to bribe some others to reveal even more information regarding his connection with the Mayor and Captain Montgomery. She was shocked to read of his assignment, which wasstrictly off the record, of course. His tattoo did match the crazy SOB unit that Javi identified, and he had justification to be afraid. By all accounts, the unit and its members were crazy MF'ers, abbreviated for her, and to keep the report G-rated. Reports of some of their activities were more redacted than classified information leaks.
She understood now that Lanie would always love Rick, perhaps not in the same way as she once had, but once her heart had been given, she knew it never came back in the same condition as when given. She now had a good picture of the manbefore, during, and after his U.S. Marine career and medical discharge, his tight connections to Lanie's parents, and how his child had come about.
Knowing why and what didn't cure her desire to know the complete details, Lanie had already warned her twice to back off, or she would "Knock your skinny ass into tomorrow land, and we aren't anywhere near Disney."
It was almost as if she took it as a challenge to get him to notice her, not like he had, but in a good way. She had many faults, and he hadn't been shy about letting the top three cops in her city know what they were. When he threatened to leave and never help again, she got the dressing down of her life. It came first from Roy, then the Commissioner, and she was supposed to have had a call with Mr. Mayor, but it was canceled at the last moment.
She later learned that Rick had told Mayor Weldon not to call her and scream at her, or he wouldn't assist on any additional cases, per Lanie, who heard it from a drunk Javi who was in the Captain's office when Mr. Mayor called. He overheardactually he hung around outside his office to listen to the conversation.
Well, she made up her mind that she was going to prove to Richard Castle that she was a far better cop than the one he observed and planned on requesting his help on two other cases in due time.
KB's delayed wedding, as Lanie referred to it, was scheduled for tomorrow. Since most original wedding guests had flown in for a weekend, never expecting to be delayed, they had returned home. Kyra had called and practically begged her to bring herself, plus one, and all of the police who had worked the case since the hotel was charging them for the entire dinner regardless of how many fewer guests she had.
Kate thought it would give her an opportunity to apologize to Rickand start fresh; she knew he would be in attendance. She and Lanie had gone to lunch, where she relayed the invitation to try to fill the hotel ballroom so it wouldn't appear any more pathetic than it already was going to be.
Over five hundred guests had returned home, many friends of Sheila Blaine, but only the ones local to the New York area would be in attendance. The tally had dwindled from over eight hundred guests to just under three hundred—still a giant wedding for most, but a massive disappointment to the couple. Lanie accepted the invitation for the same reason Kate decided to go, hoping for a few private moments with Rick, both with different motives.
Three Days Later
Hotel Astoria Ballroom
It was a few minutes past four p.m. when the officiant finally said the timeless phrase and pronounced the couple man and wife. Lanie had kept her eyes on Rick the entire time of the wedding, but his eyes were glued on the maid of honor. If he was aware that she was even in the room, he made no indication.
Kate watched as Lanie struggled to keep her composure, especially as Laurie snuck a quick glance at Rick and mouthed silently, "I love you, Rick." He smiled, repeated her words silently, and blew her a kiss. The reception was held in the hall directly across the hall, and it didn't take long for the crowd to assemble there.
Kate and Lanie were sitting at the same table, thanks to being each other's plus one, when they saw Rick walk in, he had disappeared as soon as Laurie had passed by him, walking behind KB assisting with her dress. Both ladies knew exactly where he was, a private room for the bridal party and their spouses. He was seated at a table directly in front of the bridal party, three seats down from the family member, mother of the bride, Sheila Blaine herself.
Kyra arranged the seating for Rick, on Laurie's request, it was the least she could do. She and her new husband did make the rounds greeting and thanking each one at their tables during the afternoon, now turning into early evening.
As the couple were making their rounds Lanie had caught up with Rick, "Excuse me Rick, could you spare five minutes to speak in private?" She asked,
"I'm sorry Lanie, I think we both have said enough words to last us a lifetime. If there is something you still feel that I owe you an apology for, then please forgive me, as I have forgiven you. It's time to move on, permanently, I wish you love, luck, and happiness," he paused, then turned around and said two words she had heard only twice during the entire time she had known him, "Goodbye Lanie," as he turned and walked away.
She hurried to the Ladies Room, he had actually said it, Goodbye. This time he meant it, and she knew she was now just a memory to him. Kate was beside her, and comforted her as best she could, but who if anyone could stop a broken heart from causing tears to fall. After crying for some time, she gathered herself and with Kate's assistance slipped quietly from the hotel and into a cab headed to Lanie's apartment.
Kate didn't know exactly what happened, all she could get that made sense was her words, "he said, it, he never said it before except in a letter, but he said it, to my face, and he meant it." Lanie got out,
"He said what Lane, come on give me something here girl, what did he say that has you in this condition?" Kate pleaded
"Words he never used, except in the last letter he wrote me, he actually told me "Goodbye." He always used to say, "till tomorrow, or see you soon, but never Goodbye, only in his last letter to me," she got out.
Kate got her into her apartment, and put on a kettle for tea, it was too late for coffee, even if Lanie did drink it. After a few cups of the hot liquid, a sense of resolve came over Lanie, she steadied herself and said, "I don't know what the hell I was thinking, he's happy with Laurie, and he would never put any doubts in her mind, it's really over, forever."
"I'm so sorry Lanie, you must have really loved him," she saw in her friends eyes, that the correct tense should have been present, not past.
"I still love him Kate, but it's best for him. I hurt him deeply, even more deeply than I ever realized, but he's better with Laurie than me anyway." She said, fighting back the tears,
"Lanie, I'm not going to ask, since I know you are private with your personal business, but how can you be sure he's over you. I mean I saw how much he loved you parents, and everything he did for them, he had to love you to do that" She tried to encourage her friend,
"You're right, he did. He loved my parents even after I broke his heart. He never stopped loving them, not them he. Dad, hell, Rick was the son he never had, and to Mom, he walked on water. She warned me, I was going to lose him, but I didn't think he would ever say Goodbye, never." She fought back tears,
"But Lanie, I mean" Lanie held up one finger and walked to her stereo, hit the power button, and retrieved a sheet laminated from the top of the stereo. Out came the soulful tone of Kenny Rogers, it was such a sad song, one she had never heard him sing before,
"This was part of the last letter he wrote to me. I went out and found the tape of the song, and have almost wore it out playing it so much.
Goodbye Kenny Rogers
I wanted you for life, you, and me in the wind
I never thought there'd comeatime that ourstory would end
It's hard to understand,but I guess I'll have to try
It's not easy to say goodbye
For all the joy we share, all that time we had to spend
Now if I had one wish, I'd want forever back again
To look into your eyes and hold you when you cry
It's not easy to say goodbye
I remember all those great time we had
So many memories, some good, some bad
Yes, and through it all, those memories will last forever
There's peace in where you are, maybe all I need to know
And if I listen to my heart, I'll hear your laughter once more
And so, I have to say I'm just glad you came my way
It's not easy to say goodbye
Goodbye"
Kate had no words; she felt her own tears falling as she listened and read the words from the laminated sheet of paper. "I'm sorry Lanie, I had no clue that your relationship with him had progressed to this degree. Forgive me for prying, and well, I wish I could say things would be OK, but we both know, this hurt is going to last a long time.
She quietly saw herself out, knowing there are times a woman needs to be alone, and be allowed to cry. She had known that they once had been a couple but had no idea, it was as serious as it was. The lyrics to the song still haunted her even after she reached the safety of her own apartment. She could only be there, if or when Lanie needed support, but Richard Rogers Castle was a subject she would never speak to her about again unless she brought him up.
Seven Years Later
The old saying that time heals all wounds was partially true. Lanie was getting married in two months to a fellow doctor she had met during a seminar. Paul was a great guy, with many of the same traits of Rick, but totally different in many ways. Kate was just happy that her friend had found someone. Lanie had admitted that it wasn't the same love she had thrown away with Rick, but it wasn't bad and was about as close as she was going to come to true love.
She herself was now Captain Kate Beckett – Barnett, after she had married her old friend Maddie's cousin after dating for almost three years. News had came that Rick and Laurie were married less than six months after being reunited, and now had twins.
Information about he and Laurie was almost nonexistent now. Information that filtered in now rare, now that Javi had resigned and reupped in Air Force, Captain Montgomery retired, and Mayor Bob Weldon had served the maximum years he could by term limits. He had run for U.S. Senator and won handily.
FLASHBACK
Kate had ran into the couple shortly after the wedding at Remy's during a late lunch for her, the meeting was casual, polite, but a bit strained. She couldn't help but notice a huge diamond on Laurie's left hand, and congratulated her on it.
"Wow, that is a beautiful ring Laurie, you look so radiant, so congratulations. When is the big day?" Kate asked,
"Thanks Kate, we haven't released that information yet, Rick has some business matters to attend to before the actual ceremony takes place." Laurie replied, closing the subject,
"Well, it was nice seeing you both, perhaps we'll see each other again here," she said as they turned to leave.
Rick answered her quickly, "Actually Detective, this was our last visit, we came to get one more great cheeseburger before we leave New York" he said, not giving any details,
"You're leaving New York? Where are you going to if I may ask," she said.
"Actually, that's part of the business transactions I mentioned Kate, we'll release the news as soon as everything has been finalized." Laurie replied,
"Oh, I see," she didn't but she got the words out of her mouth anyway.
"Well, Good Luck Detective, stay safe, Goodbye" Rick said as they turned and walked away. Kate heard the finality in the words, and now understand just how they had shattered her friend a few weeks earlier. He wasn't rude, but permanent in his delivery, leaving no room for doubt he was done with New York.
A few weeks later it was announced by Forbes of all publications, Rick Castle had purchased both Black Pawn, and Blue-Sky publishing and was consolidating their operations to a new center being built in Phoenix Arizona. As a foot note, it was also noted that Mr. and Mrs. Castle would be finalizing all business arrangements in New York over the next six weeks.
She searched the website for Richard Castle and there was a link to their wedding video, and pictures, they had gotten married one week after Kate had seen them at Remy's, the same day they had applied for their marriage license.
Current Time
Phoenix AZ
Rick and Laurie had indeed moved to Phoenix; Laurie opened her psychologist's practice next door to the large new publishing complex renamed Misty Blue Publishing. Rick had also built a new building for his wife next door to his building, so on the days they went to the office, they were never more than minutes away from each other. It was rumored, but never confirmed, that Rick had adopted a new writer name, as well as a series of new novels based on a pair of female detectives of a major city.
It was no secret that Roz Karpowski and Ann Hastings made several trips, labeled vacations, to the West, although they never revealed their final destination several times over the years. It was assumed that the new novels by the writer Alex Griffin were, in reality, the work of Rick Castle, modeled after the two female detectives.
Three years after they were married, Laurie gave birth to twin boys and closed her practice to become a full-time mom. Rick remained as the CEO of Misty Blue but turned much of the daily management tasks to his former publisher, Gina Cowell, to focus on his job as a Dad.
The End,
A/N: I'm sorry this fic took so long to wrap up. Vision problems set me back, and then the old writer's block slowed the process tremendously. I promised never to leave any work incomplete, and I kept that promise. If you have a prompt or request for a sequel to any of my previous work, please let me know. Thanks once again for going along for the ride. I hope to be back with a new work, but not until after the Holidays. Thanks to all, till next time, Tim