a suckerpunch straight to the heart
Swan Queen - explicit language but no spice - wlw - magic - no specific timeframe
Tumblr prompt from withgirl-sq along the lines of: Emma thinks that Regina doesn't have a pulse because she has stored her heart away for safekeeping before heading to fight the next villain.
~.~
Emma recalled a snippet from a TV show, a reminder that the human brain refuses to process information that will send it into distress. The show hadn't really been Emma's thing, but Henry was into those kinds of documentaries and she genuinely enjoyed watching how enthused he became to acquire new knowledge. There was so much Regina in him that it floored her sometimes.
She was glad for the fact bite though, reassuring her that she wasn't losing it as her brain trawled through thick honey trying to make sense of what she was seeing.
Regina was unconscious. She was lying prone on the ground. And she was not moving.
Cool liquid settled into her stomach, suffocating her with the weight of regret as she tried to process what had happened.
The truth was that there was always some kind of threat in Storybrooke, and they had very much been a dynamic duo tackling them one by one together. They'd had their fair share of scrapes and near-misses, but somehow they always managed to come out of the other end. Not quite hand-in-hand, because damn, it wasn't like that. But still, they'd had each others' backs every single goddamn time.
They'd formed a tentative kind of camaraderie, a friendship of sorts. They weren't quite easy around each other, always ready to rise to each others' bait. But to Emma, Regina was the closest thing to real friendship she'd ever really had. Their shared experiences - not to mention their shared son - meant that Emma could talk to Regina about pretty much anything. She had other friends, sure, but there was no one who understood her quite like Regina.
And now she was lying here, lifeless. And Emma couldn't help but feel that it was at least partly her fault.
She had been there when it happened, when Regina's mother landed a hit square across Regina's chest at the same time as she had sent the fatal blast to send her back through the portal to wherever she had come from. But Cora really had socked her and she had gone limp in an instant, crumpling forwards to the hard asphalt beneath her as the shocking blue hole had closed at last.
In fairness, Emma had been preoccupied trying to close off the portal from the other side, and on keeping Henry from running in to help his other mother. Her actions had been essential, weakening the Sorceress for Regina's final spell and managing to successfully send her away without the chance of her returning.
But it sure as hell didn't feel like a success.
It's not supposed to end like this, she cried silently, hot tears carving her distress into her face.
The morbidly curious crowd of onlookers stared at the pair, unable to look away from the Saviour and her grief.
For his own part, Henry burst into tears and started shouting a litany of "Mom, mom, mom, mom." His grief was instantaneous and powerful, but Emma had to block him out. She had a job to do and she couldn't look at his pain or she would shut down.
"I know, kid," she called over her shoulder. She thought to give him something to do to give him a focus and get him away from her. "Can you call for Dr Whale and Mary Margaret? Ask someone if you can borrow their phone please."
"On it, Ma," he replied, his voice stronger than she felt, reminding her what she was fighting for. It was Henry and her small family, whatever she could do to protect and prolong she would do. No matter the personal cost.
She just hoped they wouldn't be too late.
Henry padded over to the small crowd of onlookers who had been drawn by the light show. Emma somehow placed her feet one in front of the other and crumbled her way over to the still - beautiful - form lying before her.
"Re - gi - na," she called, voice breaking as she turned her onto her back, moving her gently to not cause any further injury.
Regina was unmoving, tanned skin paler than usual. Emma stared with glazed eyes at the scratches across Regina's face, horrible twisting things that told Emma that she had been unconscious all the way down. But the most unnerving change was that usual zest and spice that breathed in the air around her was completely gone. Emma felt the uneasy scratching of panic at the edge of her consciousness at that thought.
Using the part of her brain that was busy not processing what had happened, she recalled from her emergency training that she should check for a pulse. Woodenly, she moved her hands to Regina's long, pale neck and tried to feel any kind of beat.
"Shit," she shouted, hoping some kind of magic would give her an answer that was anything but what her brain was scratching around and frantically trying to avoid.
But it was impossible for her to ignore that Regina's heart wasn't fucking beating.
She ripped Regina's shirt open down to her sternum, ignoring the deep red gash and the alarming amount of blood that stuck to her fingers like treacle. She pulled Regina's bra down to make space for compressions at her chest and counted the beat to "The Man" as she prepared to share her oxygen. In another moment, she would have savoured the removal of Regina's clothes, but in her hurry, her movements were efficient and clinical.
She just wanted Regina to not be still under her touch. Whatever it took. So she found herself hoping against hope that Regina would respond to her less-than-expert CPR.
She took two quick, sobering breaths with her hands above Regina's chest, hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
~.~
Something surprising happened the moment that Emma's lips reached Regina's to breathe for her. Despite no evidence of a heartbeat, and no compressions even started, Regina's deep brown eyes opened, fluttering and sparkling as though she'd merely been sleeping. If Emma had any capacity for coherent thought, she would have thought it odd how Regina's lips had moved briefly but deliberately against hers. Probably just trying to find some air, she reasoned.
"Emma," Regina breathed. Her voice sounded like sandpaper, coarse and painful and wheezy. But it reached Emma like music. Tears of relief replaced those of despair. She knew she looked like a fucking mess, but she couldn't bring herself to care.
Regina was alive.
She silently thanked every deity she didn't believe in as she felt the rise and fall of Regina's chest under her fingers.
"How the fuck?" Emma asked, voice wobbling too much to finish her question. She still couldn't feel a pulse under her shaking fingers, even though Regina was clearly alive and breathing, and smiling up at her like she'd made the bloody sun shine or something. It was too much.
Regina winced at Emma's feather-light touch against her injuries, and Emma swore again.
"Shit, sorry Regina. Stay still a moment," Emma commanded, shouting silently at her hands to stay steady enough for the required movements. Now she knew Regina was breathing, she turned her attention to the next most urgent threat to her friend's life.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, there was a small but persistent reminder of a faint buzzing that remained on her lips, a ghost of the deep red ones that had moved underneath her. But she pushed it aside and tried to concentrate on closing Regina's frightening gashes.
She shook her head and muttered some ancient words, hands moving methodically against Regina's chest. Slowly and painfully, deep red yielded to puckered pink and Emma felt the warmth of Regina's muscles knitting themselves back together. She was so focussed on the task at hand that she didn't flinch when Regina's hand reached out to grab her thigh for comfort. And after a moment, she settled into enjoying the sensation.
She felt her magic respond to their physical connection and the spell took on a life of its own, working much faster than it ever had before.
Funny, both of them seemed to be more powerful when they were touching. Emma didn't want to dwell on why that might be.
For her part, Regina writhed against the asphalt, trying not to scream at the exquisite torture of being healed by The Saviour's magic. It felt like jumping into a vat of boiling water, all of the anguish that she would have felt in the coming weeks compressed into a couple of excruciating minutes. She held onto Emma's thigh like a lifeline, providing something to focus on that wasn't the pain.
"Thank you," was all she could manage when it was done. She laid back, exhausted from the effort of trying not to worry Emma with her screaming. Feeling her collapse next to her from the effort of the spell, she considered asking Emma to hold her for a vulnerable moment. That was new. But it made the cavity in her chest feel strangely hollow. She hadn't ever felt anything when her heart was away for safekeeping before. But then again, Emma Swan was a strange kind of magic.
Emma seemed to sense her need for comforting, and pulled her hand away from her thigh as an excuse to hold it. She righted Regina's clothing and gently tucked her hair behind her ears. Laying down next to her, she ran soothing circles across Regina's skin.
"Well, it's not quite-" she began to apologise. She just didn't have it in her to heal Regina all the way after fighting so hard for so long.
"Shhhhhh," Regina reassured her.
"But I still don't get-" she started again.
"Shhhhhh," Regina repeated.
"Your heart, your pulse, I mean-" Emma's voice wavered as she considered what had happened.
"Later," Regina commanded, power returning to her voice as she negated the blonde's interrogation. She didn't have the energy to explain her contingency plans now, and she wanted to have her heart back inside her when she had that conversation with Emma.
Somehow, Emma understood her - or at least decided not to push it further. She kept her hand in Regina's as they both heard Henry's small feet rushing against the tarmac to their sides, Dr Whale hot on his heels.
"You did it, Ma!" He was immediately back to his usual, excitable self at seeing his mothers both alive and side-by-side.
"We did it, kid," she smiled, squeezing Regina's palm in hers and eliciting a smile from the brunette.
"Wow, Mom!" He exclaimed upon fully taking in Regina's appearance. "You took a real bashing. You look so badass."
"Language, Henry," both women remonstrated in unison.
"Sorry, moms," he apologised. "But she does look pretty bad, right Ma?" He addressed the more lenient of his two mothers.
Emma couldn't help herself, she sat back up to hover her other hand over Regina's face and trace the scrapes there. It was oddly… tender? Even with an audience, and despite her brain avoiding the implication entirely, her traitorous heart thumped at the small act of intimacy.
With the small energy she had left, she waved a hand and muttered the same spell as before. The shallow scrapes and bruises yielded to perfect skin, and Emma beamed to see Regina return to them.
Beautiful, Emma thought. She blushed, feeling as though she'd been caught red handed.
"Cooooool," Henry commented, so at least Emma could pass off the blush as a reaction to her 13-year-old son thinking she was cool.
Regina remained silent, distinctly not feeling the need to comment on Emma's badassery. Instead, she tried to sit up slowly and winced. She really had been dealt some damage, and was glad that at least the emotional kind would not assert itself until much later.
Emma noticed the scraps of fabric at Regina's chest slipping and moved a hand to hold them up without thinking. She felt the soft curve of Regina's cleavage under her fingers and her cheeks became even more heated. She quickly used the very last of her energy to make a repair, but it was very frayed at the edges and not at all pretty.
Regina thanked her again, surprising herself with the warmth in her tone.
"Doctor Whale," she finally addressed the tall man hovering over them. "As you can see, Emma has patched me up reasonably well, so I do not believe I will be in need of your services today."
"Madame Mills, you are well aware I have a duty of care, and I regret to inform you that we will need to take you to the ER to make sure there are no lingering effects of the blunt force and magical trauma."
"That will not be necessary," Regina snapped back at him, anger rising much more quickly than usual. She hated that her careful planning and contingency actions reduced her to this, hatred rising quicker than steam within her chest.
"How about all three of us go together?" Emma offered, squeezing her hand and somehow pushing the rage down to a low thrum. How was she doing that?
"I still don't think-"
"Regina, I saw you take at least one hit to the head, and I want to get Henry checked over. There were blows flying in every direction, and I know you're a big kid now," she turned to address him, hoping he'd back her up, "but I'll sleep better if we all get checked out."
"When did you get to be the wise one?" Was all he said.
"Yeah, we definitely need to get you looked at kiddo," she joked. "Two compliments within ten minutes, first cool and then wise. Something's not right."
Regina heard them all laughing and felt a fluttering heat around the melancholic prison of her empty chest. It wasn't quite strong enough to encourage her to join in, but it was the warmest she had ever felt without her heart to do the job for her.
"Ok, I'll go," she responded reticently.
"Thank you," Emma said sincerely as she helped Regina to her feet, wanting nothing more than to climb into a big fluffy bed with her and fall asleep.
With her? Emma caught herself. Well shit.
~.~
Emma and Henry managed to get through the ER without too much trouble, just a mild wrist sprain for the blonde and a few surface-level scratches for both of them. Nothing which time and a bit of rest wouldn't heal.
Regina, on the other hand, was a medical marvel. Or so Dr Whale had loudly proclaimed to the waiting gallery of people who cared about Regina, which was actually a surprisingly large number. She had rolled her eyes and asked for a private consultation away from the prying eyes. He pulled the curtains and told her that he'd never seen charts so contrary to the living, breathing woman he saw before him. There was no way to explain it.
About five minutes later, a very pale doctor emerged, a slightly glazed look in his eyes. Emma recognised that look with curiosity burning in her eyes. What was Regina so desperately trying to hide?
Dr Whale simply declared her to have a severe concussion in addition to her visible injuries, but noted that she could recover at home so long as she was supervised in her rest.
Emma volunteered herself as supervisor embarrassingly quickly, and both mother and son quirked an eyebrow in response. Jesus, they were so similar.
"I can look after myself," Regina grumbled, and Emma would have let herself feel disappointed if Regina's scrunched up face wasn't so goddamn adorable.
"Yeah, but you don't have to," Emma retorted. She left the gentle care hanging in the space between them and eyed Regina expectantly.
And Regina was tired so she let it go, folding like a sheet in the wind at the slightest breeze of opposition from the blonde.
Emma's answering smile was dazzling and Regina felt, not for the first time that day, the overwhelming desire to have her heart back.
~.~
The car was warm as Emma drove back to Regina's house, having left Henry with his grandparents at the hospital. He'd be much better looked after there, as Emma knew she would have her hands full with his other mother. She winced every time they needed to make a sharp turn, wrist encased as it was in a bandage to remind her to take it easy. Once she'd gotten the all clear, she hadn't wanted company for their drive. She just wanted to be with Regina after the ordeal of nearly losing her.
"So are we going to talk about what happened?" Emma asked, cagey.
"No," Regina returned. There was a harshness to her voice that had been niggling at Emma all day, and she fought to keep calm against the anger rising in her chest. She'd saved Regina's life, and here she was not moving an inch for her.
"Just no?" Emma accused. "Not 'thank you for saving my life Emma' or - I don't know - 'I still don't have a pulse but it's totally ok, Emma,' or how about even 'I kissed you and it felt-" she stopped herself.
Regina was so in her head it was maddening.
There was a heavy breath from the passenger seat and Regina put a weary head in her hands.
"I promise you, we will talk about it," Regina said quietly. "Later, though."
Emma wanted to claw at the car roof in her frustration.
"I need you to make a detour on the way home. Just please don't ask me any questions until I'm ready to talk about it," Regina continued. Her words and her tone were deeply cryptic, and Emma felt heat rising in the air between them.
"You're just asking me to trust you to not hurt yourself again?" Emma questioned, immediately understanding that it wasn't going to be a stop at the grocery store.
"Indeed," was all Regina replied.
"And this will mean we can talk about what happened when we get home?" Emma clarified.
"I promise," Regina stated. Her words felt weighty against the relative calm.
So Emma found herself nervously waiting for Regina a second time that day. They had pulled up outside Regina's Vault, which wasn't overly surprising. But Regina took ten steps in the opposite direction and asked Emma to look away. The blonde obliged, knowing that whatever Regina was doing was private, and respecting her need to be alone even though it nearly drove her to distraction with worry.
Whilst she stood there, reminiscent of a small child outside the principal's office with the way she was nervously fidgeting, she felt a curious wave of warmth hit her full body. Like a ripple on a deep lake, the comforting feeling permeated her whole body and she felt as though she could fall asleep on the spot as the tension left her body.
"Regina?" She called, sensing somehow that she was connected to the feeling.
The brunette did not respond immediately, but Emma heard the rustling of footsteps suggesting she was coming back to the car. After a few more pregnant moments, she felt slender arms around her waist and turned to see Regina grinning up at her. Her eyes were sparkling, practically glowing with joy.
As uncharacteristic as it was for her usually aloof friend, Emma didn't want to break the moment by asking Regina what had happened in the past ten minutes to overcome the sulking teenager in the passenger seat. Instead, her own eyes burned with curiosity.
And Regina decided she'd been through enough today and that she deserved a free pass to do something reckless. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest as she took in the image of the other woman, the cold vacancy of her chest suddenly filled and wanting.
She had had a major realisation upon feeling Emma's lips on hers and being wrested from her mother's sleeping curse. There was only one thing strong enough to break Cora's dark magic. And Regina was pretty sure that it would help in her recovery, too. Or at least that's how she was going to justify it.
Thinking was hurting her scrambled head, so she reached onto her tiptoes and pulled Emma's face down to her height. She held Emma's neck with tender hands and breathed gently above her lips, hovering just a fraction of an inch away to give her the option of backing out.
But Emma stood firm, unable to believe what was happening but feeling desperate with need for the space between them to vanish.
It was Emma who closed the gap in the end, trying to remember to be gentle with her to avoid further injury. But she couldn't stop her impatient hands in their urgent exploration of Regina's torso. Regina's soft moans encouraged her as she tasted the warm honeyed flavour of Regina's lips. The scent of blood and singed fabric lingered but did not dampen their vigour, lost as they were in feeling each other.
Regina felt her chest expanding, heaving with unsteady breaths at the feeling of Emma so everywhere around her. But the additional space was soon taken up by her heartbeat, vital and strong and hopelessly shouting against her ribcage that this was everything she needed.
She felt her strength slowly returning as the magic that was pure Emma, or maybe pure them, seep into weary muscles and puckered skin. She pulled back, gasping for air as Emma bent down slightly and placed their foreheads together so as to not lose the delicious skin-on-skin contact. She watched, astounded and enraptured as the angry red scratches all over the Saviour disappeared before her eyes. Relief flooded her gut as she saw Emma returned to her pristine and beautiful self. She felt rather than saw her own injuries dissipating, but it wasn't at all painful, as it had been when Emma had leant over her and used a spell.
"Fuck, I think that might have been-" Regina spoke, surprised.
"Yeah, you love me. I know," Emma replied, grinning from ear to ear. It had taken nearly losing Regina to realise it, but Emma felt the unmistakable connection and correctly identified it for what it was.
"Way to steal my thunder," Regina moaned. "But I do," she admitted.
"Oh yeah?" Emma breathed, feigning a nonchalance that she did not feel. "I love you, too."
Regina smiled, and Emma finally felt the trauma of the day wash away from her.
"Thank you for saving me from my mother's curse, Emma," Regina whispered back.
"That part was my pleasure," she laughed. "But I am going to need you to promise to never do that to me again," Emma demanded softly. "I thought we'd lost you."
"But you didn't," Regina smiled. "And thank goodness for that or you'd have never known that I love you more."
And just like that, Regina's energy had returned. With it, her competitiveness reared its head, and Emma felt that she may be playing with fire.
Emma thought she had better find a use for the energy that wasn't so dangerous, so she pulled Regina's lips back to hers and found a much better use for them.
~.~
A few kisses later and with her energy fully restored, Regina waved her hand and shrouded them in thick purple smoke. When Emma pulled back from the kiss, she was unsurprised to find that Regina had teleported them into the lobby of her home.
"We'll get the car tomorrow," she explained sheepishly. "Didn't want to wait."
Emma watched as her throat moved to lower her voice for the words that followed. "But for now, I believe I have been instructed to stay home for at least a week, under the watchful eye of your supervision."
Emma rolled her eyes, enjoying the playfulness and the desire in Regina's tone.
"But Regina, you're already better," Emma played along wryly, wanting to hear Regina ask for her to stay.
"I was kind of hoping you'd supervise me anyway," Regina blushed at the admission, her heart reminding her of how vulnerable Emma made her.
Bingo.
"You're asking me - an officer of the law - to lie to our friends and family, and to the city no less. Just because you-" she mimed checking her notes and smirked cockily "- need to keep my services for yourself?"
"And what if I am - what if I do?" Regina asked innocently.
"Then I would say yes," Emma breathed, toeing her shoes off whilst maintaining smouldering eye contact.
Regina beamed, and Emma felt like there was nowhere else she would rather be than in this exact moment. She bent down to pick up her charge, marching her into the lounge and depositing her safely on the massive couch. Regina looked small and fragile against the mass of pillows, and Emma placed a soft kiss at her hairline, not wanting to break her.
"You wait right there." Emma instructed. "I'm going to get you some sustenance and then you are going to tell me about your ordeal today in case we missed any small detail that might cause lingering discomfort and keep you in recovery for much longer than the recommended week."
"That would be terrible," Regina responded. Poor Emma nearly swooned at the untamed wildfire of Regina's voice, but somehow remained upright for long enough to find some leftovers in the fridge, use Regina's ridiculously complicated microwave, and bring the food and a warm drink back with her.
~.~
"So, how are you feeling?" Emma asked upon her return. It was a stupid question, really, given the day they had had.
"Much better, thanks to you," Regina smiled and patted the space next to her on the couch. She sat for a moment, pondering her next words as Emma placed a tray of warm food on her lap, pulling her own plate onto a cushion as they sat in comfortable silence.
"It's strange really. All those years of her being so terrible to me and I thought it was because she really cared," Regina's voice broke at the thought of what her mother had done. "But she was ready to kill me. Her own daughter."
"Regina, that's not your fault," Emma reminded her softly, and for once, Regina actually believed her.
"She would have done, too," Regina continued, staring blankly past Emma's ear and food forgotten. "But along came Princess Charming with your magic hands and your beautiful face and-"
Regina stopped mid sentence, realising what she had said. She blushed and migrated her gaze to Emma's smiling face.
"Yep," Emma savoured the moment. There was a tease about the other magic her hands were capable of, but it got lost somewhere in between her juvenile brain and her heart. The memory of Regina's stillness was still too recent to bring that kind of suggestion to the table.
Regina looked down at the plate of food, suddenly ravenous and in need of a distraction before she found herself making any other embarrassing confessions.
Emma spoke around a mouth half-full of pasta bake.
"So are you going to tell me how you came back to life with your heart not beating, or is that always going to be a mystery to me?"
Regina chewed on a piece of broccoli, delaying.
"Or how about what caused the personality transplant when you went into your vault?"
She sighed at the blonde's insistence but knew that she owed her an explanation.
"Or are we just going to avoid the True-Love's-Kiss-sized elephant in the room?"
"Slow down," Regina begged her. "Too many questions at once."
"Sorry," Emma pouted. She made a show of picking up her fork and wolfing down some food. "Nointeruptions," she promised through her food.
Regina rolled her eyes affectionately and began.
"In response to your first query," she sounded like she was running a city council meeting. What once may have made Emma's hackles rise instead suffused her with warmth and affection. She didn't remark upon it. "I stored my heart away for safekeeping when I knew my Mom was going to be in town. It's not the first time she's had her designs on it."
Emma choked on her mouthful.
"You what? Regina, that is so dangerous. What if you had decided you wanted to go full evil and never take it back?"
"I couldn't risk her getting her hands on it. Or me not being able to properly deal with her out of some kind of familial affection or something. Believe me, it wasn't a decision that I made lightly."
"But then - is that why?"
It had been bugging her from the moment they had kissed in the graveyard outside the vault.
"Is that why your first kiss didn't fix me right then and there?" Regina finished for her.
"Yeah, I mean - wow -"
She paused to place a small kiss at Regina's temple.
"I'm kind of amazed that it was still enough to break whatever hex she threw at you, then," Emma marvelled.
"You really are just that powerful, Emma. You are literally the Saviour. I'm amazed that you don't see yourself like that."
"Story for another time," Emma evaded.
"And then, as for your second question, I think you can infer the answer," Regina spoke formally, and continued eating to let Emma ponder it.
"That's what you went to fetch from your vault?"
"Not from my vault, too obvious. But yes, my heart was still there where I'd left it," she explained. And still yours, she finished silently.
"There is not going to be a next time, because your heart is too precious to take risks with, Regina," Emma paused to allow her seriousness to sink in. "But you have to have a back-up person to know where it is and how to get it back."
"If there is a next time, you'll be the first I call."
"You'd trust me with that?" Emma asked.
"I trust you with my life, Emma. I thought after today that was obvious."
Emma supposed that made sense. She smiled at the mutuality of the feeling.
"And as for the third," Regina's eyes sparkled again. "I do love kissing you."
"Yeah, I knew the second we kissed," Emma admitted.
"I loved you long before that, darling," came Regina's surprising response.
"Wait - what?"
"You've always been slow on the uptake," she teased.
"I can't believe this. It's a mutiny from my True Love."
It was disgusting, this happiness, this flirting. Nauseating. Filthy. Glorious.
"I love you, even still," Regina breathed.
"Oh you are never allowed to be still again, my dear," Emma ordered, shuddering at the thought. "I love you too, Regina."
They spent the evening enjoying each others' company, eating and resting whilst tangled in each other. Through the course of the next week, Emma really enjoyed her role as supervisor, so much so that she just didn't move back to her old apartment, even after the week was out. And Regina's loved ones were thrilled to see how fast she had healed under the blonde's surprisingly gentle care.
~.~