1975
Sirius found himself transforming into Padfoot a lot since he and the rest of the marauders figured out how to shift. It was easier this way, being a dog. He didn't have to worry about his responsibilities as an heir or his mother's wrath. When things got to be too much, when he could feel himself spiralling into madness he'd turn into Padfoot and run away from it all.
His main area was the forbidden forest, its inhabitants paid him no mind and students never entered. Well,moststudents would not step foot in the forest.
Snape had shed his tattered outer robe, using it as a blanket as he sat on the grass, leaning against a tree trunk. He propped the book he was reading on his knees. This was a familiar sight for the animagus who had been meeting him here in the form of Padfoot for a few weeks now.
Though it was still a little strange to see the Slytherin's form without the oversized robes. Sure, his clothes were also baggy on his thin frame but nonetheless, it was as if he shed a layer of his armour.
Sirius took a couple of steps forward, trying to get a better look at him when a branch snapped underneath his paw. The Slytherin jolted, eyes widening and face somehow becoming paler when they landed on the dog. Padfoot paused, letting out an involuntary whine.
That was a downside of being an animagus, when he stayed in this form for too long he had a harder time controlling himself. He'd growl, whimper, and wag his tail completely out of his autonomy.
Snape's shoulders untensed slightly at the sound. Sirius took that as confirmation and moved closer, nudging him with his cold nose. The Slytherin brought his hand up behind the animagus's ear and started to scratch it. Padfoot's tail wagged in reply to the soothing motion. "It's you again, Merlin, you scared me!" he scolded half-heartedly.
Sirius wished that he could get this close to the Slytherin in human form, that he'd also run his hands through his hair and give him that beautiful smile. It lightened his face, warmed his eyes, and the Gryffindor couldn't help but stare at the small dimple that would appear on his left cheek. When he first witnessed that smile he came to the realisation that he fancied him.
It was the beginning of their fourth year. He was under the invisibility cloak with Prongs; the two attempting to execute their first prank of the year on the ride to Hogwarts. They were peaking through the windows of each compartment until they stumbled acrossthem. Lily and Snape were alone in the farthest compartment, leaning into one another, talking and laughing. Sirius froze as he watched, Snivellus had looked…nice.
If he strained hard enough he could hear his melodic laugh. He was suddenly struck with a familiar feeling, he had gotten it when he saw the Slytherin with Regulus in the library, when Rosier would put his arm around him, when he caught Prongs looking at him.
Oh…he was jealous. He could feel the anger radiating off James at that moment, perhaps he was envious of Snape like Sirius had been of Lily.
They stood there for a long while, only being forced to move when they were almost run over by the treat cart. They ended up retreating to their compartment, completely forgetting about the prank.
For the next couple weeks all Sirius could think about was the half-blood. To be fair, he always thought about the git but now it was more than usual, it consumed him almost. He found himself avoiding birds, he didn't feel like snogging or evenflirtingwith anyone other than the Slytherin. That's when he came up with a brilliant idea to fix his current predicament.
He ambushed the Slytherin while he was alone one day. "What do you want Black?" Snape spat, eyes darting around to see if the rest of the marauders were hiding. He looked like a cornered animal. The Gryffindor frowned at that,Merlinwere they reallythatbad? He was a little disgusted with himself at the moment. Nevertheless, he pushed himself on, forcing himself to say what he had wanted to say.
Sirius closed his eyes, he had never been this nervous when asking before. However, he hadn'tfeltthis way about anyone else. He took a deep breath before he confessed, "I need you to snog me." he said, his voice steady and firm but his hands slightly shaking.
Snape's eyes widened before his face twisted into a scowl, "A-are you mad?! If this is a prank it isnotfunny." he sputtered attempting to back away but was stopped by the wall behind him.
The Gryffindor took a step forward, "I swear I am not! I can't stop thinking about you!" Once he kisses him he'll stop obsessing over him. It had been like that for every other person he had snogged, after he did so he'dalwayslose interest. The Heir had enjoyed the chase but was unenthusiastic in the things that followed after the "capture".
The Slytherin raised a brow at that, "No." he said, crossing his arms.
"Why not?!" Sirius asked, desperation lacing his voice.
Snape hesitated. Sirius must've looked particularly pathetic at that moment, begging for the person he had bullied for three years to snog him. The Slytherin let out a sigh, "I'll only do it at the end of the year…ifyou don't hex me for the rest of fourth. Only then will I…" His sentence died off, unable to say the word.
Sirius had brightened, "Deal!" He grabbed the Slytherin's hand, shaking it vigorously, "You won't regret this!"
Snape grimaced, yanking his hand out of Sirius's, "I'm afraid I already have…" He said, rubbing his hand on his robes.
The Gryffindor had surprisingly stayed true to his word. He refrained from hexing the git. When he was with his mates he'd try to redirect their attention, and when that didn't work he'd purposely miss. It had been hard and Sirius was no saint, he resorted to hexing other Slytherins when the need became too much.
Before they headed to the train station to leave for the summer he pulled the Slytherin into an alcove. He gripped Snape by the arms, they had never been this close before. He suddenly felt nervous with those dark eyes on him, they were sucking him in almost.
"Erm okay- I'm just going to-" he leaned forward before hesitating, were the Slytherin's lashes always that long?
"For Merlin's sake!" Snape said before grabbing the Gryffindor's face and pulling him down slightly. He felt a wave of warmth rush over him as the Slytherin's lips pressed against his. That had knocked Sirius out of his stupor, pulling him closer and deepening the initially chaste kiss. Snape had let out a noise of surprise at the sudden movement.
After a minute they pulled away to breathe. The Slytherin had looked beautiful at that moment, cheeks pink, lips red, eyes slightly dazed. Sirius's plan hadnotworked, he had gotten a taste and now he was addicted.
He was about to go in for another kiss when Snape pulled away from him, "Well," he cleared his throat, straightening his robes, "d-did that work?" he asked.
Sirius was about to answer when suddenly Prong's voice could be heard yelling his name down the hall. Snape had quickly escaped at that moment. Sirius had felt an abrupt emptiness, now it was only him, in a dark alcove, and a tingling feeling on his lips.
Thatwas why Sirius couldn't reveal himself to the Slytherin. Snape had made sure to ignore him the first month of school, running off whenever he'd spot the Gryffindor. He had tried to respect Snape's wishes, he really did, but he found himself unable to stay away. His plan had backfired on him, he found himself thinking of himmore, gettingangrierwhen he saw others around him, others touching him.
So he did this, meeting him in animagus form every day after dinner. Sometimes he'd sit next to the Slytherin while he read, often the Slytherin would read to him and he'd find himself dozing off, other times he'd talk to him. Sirius had liked those days most, he enjoyed learning things about the Slytherin. The conversations would vary, he'd talk about things he liked or ideas he had for new spells or potions, other days he'd talk about deeper things.
On one of these days, he confided to the dog about a letter he received from his mother begging him to come home for holiday. The Slytherin had confessed that he was very nervous to do so but didn't expand on why that was. Sirius could figure it out well enough.
Everything came out a couple of weeks before winter break. Snape had been late which was unusual for the punctual Slytherin. He heard some unfamiliar voices on the outskirts of the forbidden forest. He crept slowly towards it, attempting to hide in the shadows.
That's when he saw them, Snape was held down by two of his housemates; a third one stood in front of him with his wand aiming at the half-blood. "You can't keep avoiding his meetings," the bloke said.
Snape gritted his teeth, "I told you, I'mbusy." he said. That had angered the Slytherins, one of the ones holding him down grabbed his head, shoving it into the ground.
Padfoot let out a growl at that. The three of them had startled, looking around for the source. He jumped out of the bushes, grabbing the closest one to him and biting down on his leg. He only let up once he felt he sunk his teeth in deep enough. The pureblood had cried out in pain, scurrying off with the rest of his friends who had already abandoned him like the cowards they were.
Snape had looked at him wide-eyed, perhaps startled that the friendly dog he had come to be familiar with had just mauled his housemate. Though Sirius wasn't concerned about that, he was more concerned over why the Slytherin wasn't standing up. Then his eyes had landed on his swollen ankle peeking out from his robes.
Without thinking he shifted back into human form, rubbing at his mouth to remove the taste of blood. A look of bewilderment spread on the Slytherin's face, "Black?!" he sputtered.
"Erm…yeah?" he asked, slightly abashed.
His stomach had twisted at the hurt expression Snape had given him, "I- were you-," he was unable to form a coherent question.
"We'll talk about this later, I'm taking you to the infirmary." He said before pulling the other into his arms, shrugging off his protests. Sirius had ignored for the moment how good it felt to have him so close.
"I can walk on my own!" Snape said, trying to wiggle out of his arms.
That had just made Sirius hold onto him tighter, "You weren't even able to get up! Now stop squirming, I don't want to drop you." He ordered and surprisingly enough the Slytherin had obeyed, though he wore a slightly grumpy look.
Thankfully he hadn't run into any students while carrying Snape. He didn't mind if people saw them but he knew that the Slytherin did not hold the same sentiment.
When he made it to the infirmary Pomfrey had helped guide him to a cot. He placed Snape gently down, giving him a charming smile which the Slytherin returned with a glare.
He watched Pomfrey go about examining his ankle, "Merlin! What happened?" she asked, tentatively touching the injury.
Snape winced, "I erm fell…" he said, giving Sirius a look when he started to open his mouth to reject.
The mediwitch tsked, "My , always so clumsy," she chastised, "It's fractured, unfortunately, all I can do is wrap it and give you a pain potion." She cast a bandaging charm, Sirius watched in fascination as said bandages wrapped around the Slytherin's leg. She went into the back room to retrieve the potion.
They sat in awkward silence for a moment. "Why?" Snape asked suddenly, avoiding the eyes of the animagus.
"Why what?" he asked dumbly.
The Slytherin swallowed, "Why did you do it?" he croaked.
The question didn't expand on much. "I- it didn't work. The…you know," he said, both of them blushing at that, "I still can't stop thinking about you. I knew you wouldn't want to be around me in human form so I chose to meet you in animagus form. I- I just wanted to be around you. I'm…Sorry." he confessed, looking to the floor, it sounded rather pathetic when spoken out loud.
"You're such a dolt," Snape said, a touch of amusement in his voice before sobering, "How long?"
Grey met black, he saw a hint of something in the Slytherin's eyes he couldn't quite recognise. "Years, I think…"
Snape's brows furrowed, "So all that bullying was what? A sick form of pulling pigtails?" he questioned.
He grabbed the Slytherin's hands, noting that he hadn't pulled away, "Look- Snape, I'm sorry. I was a dumbass. I promise if you just give me a chance I will do whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness." He pleaded.
Snape looked at him silently for a moment, multiple emotions flickering through his eyes. He let out a sigh, "If you mess up I'm never talking to you again-" The Slytherin was interrupted by Sirius pulling him into an embrace. The Gryffindor was unable to hear the Slytherin's protests over his own 'thank yous'.
"Mr. Black I would appreciate it if you didn't further injure my patient," Pomfrey said out of nowhere, she was looking at the two teens with a hint of mirth in her eyes.
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It was already past curfew when Pomfrey gave the go-ahead for Snape to leave. Black, being the Gryffindor he was, helped him to his dorm. Severus reluctantly held on to the boy's arm for support.
The Gryffindor kept running his mouth, telling Severus about his feelings and other gross things of the sort. He ignored how he felt a little flutter in his chest, how his face had slightly warmed at his words. "You know," he interrupted, "I prefer when you were a dog, you were rather quiet then." Severus had wanted to kick himself, did he always have to do that? Spit vitriol when he didn't know what else to say.
Black had just laughed it off thankfully. Then his face had lost all traces of humor, that's when Severus had noticed that they already made it to Slytherin's portrait. "Well…" the Gryffindor said as they stood in awkward silence for a moment. Sirius was looking over at him expectantly.
"I'm not going to kiss you." Severus blurted out.
Black's eyes widened, "I- What- Why?!" he choked out.
Severus let go of the Gryffindor's arm, "Because I'm just getting to know you! You still have to earn it!" he crossed his arms.
"I literally just bit someone to protect you! I carried you to the infirmary!" He argued.
"Yes, my thank you for that was agreeing to forgive you," he replied.
Black was quiet for a moment, he was most likely thinking, whichwasn'ta good sign, "Well… what do I get for assisting you to your dorm?" he asked, a smirk adorning his features.
Severus wasn't swayed, "You get me not hexing you, goodnight Black."
The Gryffindor had looked like a kicked puppy at that moment. It was such a pathetic sight that Severus had found himself pitying the heir. He leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek before saying the password and rushing into the common rooms. Merlin, why was romance soembarrassing?
He limped to his room, regretting the quick exit he made as he tried to trudge up the stairs. Thankfully his roommates were already asleep by the time he made it to their room. He threw himself onto the bed and closed his curtains.
Severus didn't know why exactly he had agreed to Black's proposition. He had seen the proposition the Gryffindor gave him in fourth year as an opportunity. A year of relative peace and all he had to do was snog a bloke. Sure it was his first kiss but Sirius wasn't theworstperson to give it to. No matter how ugly the Gryffindor's personality was, Severus couldn't deny that the heir was handsome, very handsome.
Though why did he agree now? Was he sodesperatefor companionship that he'd turn to someone who bullies him? Well used to, Black had stopped for over a year now. Though he had only promised to cease harassing him for fourth year he hadn't during this year as well. That had to amount to something, and he could always back out if he were to revert to his old ways…
They continued to meet up in their old spot though Black was now in his human form. He was oddly very respectful of the Slytherin's boundaries and made sure never to push him to do something he didn't want to do. He could also be rather nice when he wasn't being a complete dunderhead.
Now that he could talk, Black had opened up to Severus about some of his own things. Like how he had been in correspondence with his cousin and managed to buy a flat to live in away from his mother.
Severus frowned, "She wasn't mad?" he asked, refusing to admit that he was slightly concerned for the bloke.
Sirius brushed it off, "She's always mad," he said in reply. Severus knew how that felt, his father was the same way. Though he couldn't help but be worried for the Gryffindor. While having an abusive muggle parent was dangerous he couldn't imagine having an abusive parent who was able to cast dark curses.
The Gryffindor seemed to pick this up, "Don't worry about me. In fact, you should come over during the holiday!" he said.
"I don't know…" he played with the frayed hem of his jumper.
Black had sobered for a moment, "Sev-"
"Don't call me that." he snapped.
"Snape, if anything happens my place is always open …You know that right?" he said, looking deeply into the Slytherin's eyes. The grey hue was filled with sincerity.
Severus shifted uncomfortably at that, he didn't like talking about his home life. He had rarely even talked to Lily about it. Though it was slightly easier with Black. The fact that he often had similar experiences reduced the embarrassment a little.
Black sighed, "Just-," he dug into his robes, "here." he said, handing Severus a piece of parchment with an address on it.
"You don't have to come but I'd like you to know where it is." He said.
Severus scoffed but placed it tentatively in his robes.
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It was a couple of days into winter break when Sirius heard three light knocks at the door. His stomach dropped, it had to be Severus, he wasn't expecting anyone else. He made his way over to the door apprehensively, pausing for a moment before opening it.
Severus was looking at the ground, his hair covering his face. Sirius frowned at that, "Sev are you-"
"I'm sorry." He interrupted, "The Evans are gone for two weeks I- I had nowhere else to go," his voice croaked, his shoulders slightly shaking.
His heart broke at the scene, "It's okay, everything's fine, come on in." he spoke softly, he had wanted to pull him into an embrace whispering comforting words into his ear but the Slytherin was particular with touch. The last thing he wanted to do was unintentionally trigger him further.
He kept his head down as he entered, Sirius's frown deepened. "Sev, are you okay?" he asked, approaching the half-blood and placing a light hand on his arm.
The Slytherin had shocked him by burying his face into his shoulder, gripping onto him, "He kicked me out…" he sobbed, "He always talked about it but- I- I- didn't think he'd ever do it."
He placed a hand on the Slytherin's back, rubbing circles into it as his shirt grew wet. Sirius was trying to calm not only Severus but himself as well. He was seething at the fact that someone had hurt him. His grip tightened on the Slytherin slightly, the half-blood letting out a wince. Sirius quickly loosened his hold, pulling Severus away and forcing him to look up.
Sirius froze at what he had seen, blood was pouring from his nose, an angry bruise was on the side of his jaw. His eyes were red, tears trailing down his face. The half-blood looked embarrassed as he tried to look anywhere but the angry Gryffindor. Sirius had to force himself to calm down, if he got angry it would only further upset the Slytherin.
Taking a deep breath he centred himself before grabbing the Slytherin's hand and leading him toward the bathroom. He sat him down on the counter. Severus had just watched him silently as he ran a cloth under the water.
He softly grabbed Severus's chin on the unbruised side, forcing the Slytherin to face him before running the warm cloth over the wounds. Severus let out a slight wince at that.
"My bad, I'm not of age yet so I'm afraid we're doing this the muggle way." He said lightly.
Severus looked at him for a moment before looking back at the wall, "You must think I'm pathetic, right?" he said, insecurity lacing his tone.
"No, I think your bastard father is pathetic." Sirius spat out in reply.
The Slytherin remained quiet at that.
1978
Sirius was quite convincing when he tried hard enough, that's something that Severus had to learn in the past couple of years. He always found a way to get what he wanted even if he wasn't successful at first. He managed to convince Severus to snog him, then go out with him, and move in.
Severus didn't want to move in with him at first, his pride getting in the way. He thought that maybe he could try and convince his father to let him stay until he graduated, something that Sirius vehemently refused. When he finally did agree he promised that he'd find a job and move out as soon as he was able to. The Gryffindor just brushed that off.
The past couple of years have been great, their relationship has been great. The only hard part for Sirius was keeping it a secret, he wanted to flaunt, to be able to love him openly, to show that the Slytherin washisand that no one else could have him. However, for Severus's safety, he was unable to.
That also meant he had to deal with James's obvious attraction to the Slytherin internally. Pretty soon after he realised his feelings for Severus he noticed James's as well. It was pretty obvious now that he properly looked at it and he couldn't help but feel embarrassed that he used to be the same way.
It was hard, not chewing him out for messing with the Slytherin, forlookingat him even. He moved to other methods instead, pushing and encouraging James to pursue Lily to distract him. It had worked for the most part, though it was mostly due to the fact that his mate wasn't aware of his attraction to Severus.
Then there was the incident by the lake, Sirius had been livid. He was upset that the only thing he could get away with was secretly hexing him into the water before he fully undressed the Slytherin. What had hurt most though was not being able to comfort the Slytherin until after McGonagall had broken up the crowd, leaving the shaking Slytherin and the seething Gryffindor by themselves. That was the second time he had ever witnessed the Slytherin cry, a sight that he had a very difficult time seeing.
He avoided James for a while after that, unable to look at him in fear of what he would do. Instead, he would opt to meet up with Severus. There were times that they stayed up so late talking to each other they would fall asleep in that very same room.
After fifth however James seemed to stop pranking the Slytherin entirely, perhaps it was because he finally realised he pushed ittoofar. That had made Sixth and Seventh year rather easy for the couple to go through.
They had kept their relationship a secret until the end of Seventh year when Sirius snogged the Slytherin during graduation. He remembered how shell-shocked everyone had been, how pissed Severus had been at Sirius causing a scene. The Gryffindor had just laughed as Severus slapped him on the arm, his face beet red.
He was happy, it wasn't until dating the Slytherin that he realised he wasn't before. He had temporary bouts of happiness when he and the marauders would pull off pranks but that feeling would disappear minutes later. He would go after birds in hopes that he would feel something, it was fun at first, the chase and flirting but after they gave in he grew bored.
Boredom was why he never pursued relationships. The fun part about romance was the beginning, everything was new, exciting, and partially dangerous. Once you got to know each other that excitement would disappear. That didn't happen with Severus however, the familiaritywasexciting. The fact that they knew what each other liked and didn't, the familiarity of the other's body. It was different, a good different.
Sirius was loyal but only to one person, platonic or not. For the longest time it had been James, his brother in everything but blood; now it was Severus. He was devoted to the Slytherin. Perhaps it was because his madness loved that he was the Slytherin's first, and now that they would marry he'd be his last as well. Maybe it was always Severus and he just hadn't realised it.