(Posted November 22nd, 2024)

The Other Side of Me

In which Anti-Cosmo and Fairy-Cosmo go to dinner in the Autumn of the Flaming Clouds, and Cosmo runs into Wanda Fairywinkle

"I met you once," Fairy-Cosmo said, shrugging his wings in a way that made them buzz. We sat together on the couch, mostly because my legs still wobbled too much to dare try the portal and search for Wanda. I had a duty to my godchild, I suppose, but if Mandelro had Wanda, he would be all right. And besides… I did deserve this, didn't I? To stray this close to my very own counterpart? To gaze upon his hand resting on the sofa cushion… To feel his skin touch my knee when he asked if I needed a minute more.

In all my years, I'd never had a burglar break in before. I'd never found myself chained up like that. My hands shook when I gripped my legs. I drew slow and careful flickers of energy through our shared magic pool. Could Fairy-Cosmo sense that? Surely he must. We sat so close. When I inhaled too deeply, it made his crown bob.

I could feel his breathing too. Our emotions overlapped: Sympathy. Concern. If I'd been a mite less shaken, I may have scoffed or gagged. I could not look at him. Cosmo leaned forward, bringing our eyes in brushing contact. His brows scrunched up in a carat on his head. And I did look at him, even though I thought I didn't want to.

"I met you too," I said. My voice quailed when it left my tongue. "They arrested me for that kerfuffle with your dragon."

Cosmo hummed in light response. His eyes flicked across me, peeling back the layers like he saw me to the core. "So, you're the Anti-Cosmo…"

"And you're the Fairy one. Your nose is rather different." It lacked the signs of brownie blood. Small and stubby- Not like mine at all.

"Yeah. I disguise it."

"Is that legal?" Fairy World had rules that drew lines in the cloud-dust, grouping the highest-ranked subspecies here, the lower ones there. Brownie bites could poison you. The inrita in their spit disabled magic like a plague. Soft hats were not inherently reliable; they liked to see the noses before they came too close. I don't think, looking at him head-on, I would have seen the brownie in him. Perhaps a faint tint to his wings… No, I suppose not.

"No one's stopped me."

"Did you ever get my letter?"

"Your letter?"

So he hadn't, then. Or he played the lie of actor well. His mum might've snatched it from the mail. In our brief conversation, he told me he went home to see her every weekend and craved the peace that came with sleeping in the dorms. Smothering, he called her, though he said that in a tactful way I couldn't quite pierce. Ah, so she puts the 'mother' in that word, I replied, and he laughed. I shared a few words on mine. Tough love. She pushed me hard. I ran her obstacle course now and then and she whipped me into shape.

"Do you read a lot?" he asked me.

"Oh, not as often as I did. I'm quite busy now with school. I do paint. I studied art history for years."

"I write."

"Smashing, that! Are you in godparenting?"

"Ha! Mama would never allow that." He pressed the badge on his shirt higher with his thumb, showing me the name printed black on white. "I'm a magic key."

"That must be very interesting." In a fated way, it made a good deal of sense. Did he and I not exist in parallel? How often had I fallen prey to little traps like this one? Well, perhaps not in this way, but I certainly had a knack for getting into them, whether that trap be a snake's jaw, a genie's lamp, or the Eros Nest itself. Trouble tailed my shadow like it had debt to pay. Cosmo did fit the bill of rescuer. Ever since we'd synced our minds properly with adult wings beating bright, he'd kept an eye on me. Much like an elder brother, filtering his magic between Dame Cosmo and myself. Why, even today he'd lurched to my rescue, sealing the portal that Wanda and I had brought to life. He always knew, somehow, when I fell into utmost distress. He'd never left me hanging before; he'd never left me afraid to call out for him, though I very rarely did. And yet, he listens for me. That must be a lot of work.

Cosmo shrugged. I stood then, rubbing my hands in brisk dismissal. "Ta, forgive my gabbing tongue. I won't keep you any longer. I'll see you for dinner, then."

"Yeah, I'll sure be seeing you."

We hovered at the apartment door. How exactly did you dismiss your counterpart from conversation? Would a handshake be enough? Fairies shook when they closed a business deal. Pixies too. I didn't want a hug. After a few wingbeats of pause, I tipped my crown. Cosmo smiled with his lips pressed tight, then tipped his too. I felt the way it tugged the lines that ran through it… for his connection with the energy field would always be my own. Then he drew his wand and poofed away. I closed our apartment door before magic dust could clog my lungs.

Well… Back to business, then. I drank a glass of water, then swept through our Boudacia portal in search of Mandelro. I wouldn't stay long; I could do very little as a godparent without my wand in hand. Thank the stars the portal had its own transformation spell. I poked my head from the plastic rat dome, whiskers flicking at the air. Once again, a wave of humidity greeted me in Mandelro's bedroom, but the boy himself wasn't here. At least, not on his sleeping rock, at his desk, or combing through his closet. Perhaps beyond the divider wall? When I strained my ears, I could hear voices from the hall, but couldn't make out the words. Hmph.

Well… He was my godchild, and I had a duty, wand or not. I unlatched the cage door, then caught it with my paw before it could slam against the table. Phew. With a few clever leaps, I made my way from cage to desk to bin to floor. Faint dust sparkles signalled Wanda's presence in the room. The energy field breathed with quiet ticks like the hands of a clock. She must not be around, even invisibly. Still, as I scurried through the substrate on the floor, I kept my eyes open for any signs of pink objects resting on the shelves. No… She must be out in the hall.

Can I fit beneath here? Boudacia's doorways offered more space between structure and floor than the doors I'd grown up with in the Castle. We kept our doors tight to limit drafts and magic flow from room to room. Perhaps these wider gaps filtered the humidity. I flattened to my stomach. The voices were louder now, and this time, I picked up my godchild's words.

"… growing up here. Can I go?"

A gruffer voice came back in reply. Critical, I thought, creeping along the crack in the door base. "There are nice girls here, too. If you gave them a chance, you might change your mind. Go get your backpack. The shuttle's on its way."

"Yes, Uncle."

Footsteps scuffled up the hall towards me. Quick, small steps like those of a Boudacian child. I scrambled from the door and leapt to Mandelro's sleeping rock. I may not be able to poof into anti-fairy form, but at least we could converse without cage bars between us. The door swung open. Mandelro held a pink drinking bottle, which he set on the table by our cage. Wanda. I checked with her, searching for any signal that I should speak up or remain quiet. She poofed back into a rat and very faintly shook her head.

Tell you later, said her eyes. Oh, dear.

So we went through the morning motions. Mandelro had to prep for school. "So sorry that I'm late," I said, watching him dress in a lightweight shawl that offered breathing room for his little wings. "I went back to Fairy World and lost my wand. I'm afraid I'm stuck in this form until I get it back." I left out that bit about the break-in. Children should not be made to feel unsafe in their own homes. Especially not godchildren. They had enough thoughts whirling through their heads.

"Does that mean you can't come to school?" Mandelro asked, pulling on his schoolbag. It clung tight to his shoulders and mirrored a spider's legs.

"I'll be with you, kiddo," Wanda assured him. "I've never seen inside a Boudacian school. How many kids are in your class?"

I hung back, listening in as she and Mandelro conversed. Wanda had a certain skill, I thought, in navigating light conversation. That chat between Mandelro and his uncle had seemed upsetting in what little bit I snatched, but the mundane questions Wanda swam through directed his mind to better things. He had a best friend called Birchtick, he said, and while he did struggle with his exams, he scored high on his classwork. Hm. I've been there. I suppose schoolwork blankets all the universe. From the medals I spied hanging from one wall, he seemed to thrive in sports. Now that, I'd like to see.

When Mandelro took a loo break (or whatever the parallel word was on this planet), Wanda poofed to my side. "Are you all right?" she asked. She prodded her nose to my shoulder, sniffing for signs of magic force (I presume). "I didn't expect to take so long… Mandelro's fretting about his dating life. Well, never mind. What happened when I left?"

"Wanda, you won't believe this. That magic key you called for? … He's my fairy opposite!"

Her brows shot up her head. "The Fairy-Cosmo?"

"The very same! Green eyes, green hair… Ohhh, I should introduce you. I'm treating him to Anti-D'Hielo's tonight. Do you know the place? If you have the chance to slip away, you could join us there."

Wanda, however, gawked at me in disbelief. "You met your counterpart? And he didn't try to kill you?"

"Oh, Wanda… You don't really believe in the Finella reflex, do you?" Actually, her conclusion twitched my eye. You often hear the Finella reflex tossed around as a way of separating counterparts, especially in school buildings. Really, I never understood the logic in it, but the claim tends to be that a fairy and his counterpart could never school together, for in doing so, the fairy should be driven to eliminate the 'evil' lurking nearby. Something about pheromones and dominance, I suppose. It's all rubbish.

"I mean, it's supposed to be a natural instinct."

"We Anti-Fairies don't see it that way. It's Fairy rumour, dear; all pseudoscience. Let's not forget, counterparts often lived together before the war. Now, what's this about Mandelro's courting plans?" My fur prickled warm with interest. Well, if it was love he was after, perhaps I could be of some assistance. Wanda too, actually: I'd be married when this study abroad was over and she had a boyfriend she dearly loved. She curled her claws in the substrate and sighed like a punctured balloon.

"There's a problem. He likes a girl. A classmate."

The implication evaded me. Wanda gave me a pointed look, however, and let me recall my studies on my own. And when the thought crashed against my mind, my eyes flew wide. "Oh, dear… Boudacian women eat their mates." The same-species ones, anyway, though interspecies couples had grown popular for a reason. He's living with his uncle, I remembered then. Is his father in the picture? Likely not. Family units were funny things in Boudacian culture. While their society leaned towards matriarchal, children were often split from the mother who birthed them. Absent fathers were not uncommon.

"The anxiety's consuming him," she went on, frisking her tail. "His grades have been slipping all year; he sees no point in education if he might not live long enough to use it."

"Fierce anxiety, you say? I imagine so. Well, that is a pickle, isn't it? Look here- You go on with him to school, and we'll both give this some thought. When we meet up again, we'll pool our plan of attack and do whatever we can to help him through it."

Wanda gave a nod. "Take care at your dinner, Anti-Cosmo."

"I will."

Mandelro returned from the loo a moment later. Wanda poofed herself into a bracelet on his wrist. As they left the room together, I stared in silence at the flutter of mantis-style wings. At the pink-white colours gleaming off his exoskeleton.

He could be dead in a few years' time. Oh, not for a while yet, I hoped, given he hadn't yet reached adult size… but I did wonder. I hadn't known him very long. I didn't enjoy dwelling on the thought. I suppose he IS an insect. Why, Fairy damsels were like that once upon a time. They only mated once. We felt the effects of their deaths in Anti-Fairy World, time and time again. Ah, if I could rid us of that dreaded curse! Bear pups outside the honey-lock!

Maybe my offspring wouldn't hear lies about the Finella reflex tossed around then. Fairies might actually listen to us, if we bore the hosts that their offspring had to mirror. Cruel fate. My eternal nightmare, except when it tasted like a dream. Time and time again, I scrabbled for the thread. If I could just get Anti-Saffron and Cosmo to agree! Anti-Saffron's loyalty I had, but how to urge Cosmo to play my game? Cosmo, old chap, I have a favor to ask. You see, you must mate with a damsel on the night Anti-Saffron too is under the honey-lock's spell.

I should have to bring it up with him. Would tonight be too soon? Bloody smoke, we didn't even know each other. Patience, Julius. You'll get through.

I crawled back through the portal, turning back into an anti-fairy as I stepped across the threshold to our room again. Well. First order of business… I had a wand to retrieve. And while Mandelro's day had just begun, Fairy World's shops would close for the evening fairly soon. At least I'd already showered. I took to the streets as quick as I could… and this time, I ensured I locked the door behind me.

Filing for wand retrieval wasn't a difficult process, but my hopes of reunion with the pumice piece I'd grown familiar with hovered low to the floor. School administration loaned me out a temp. No cracks marred its golden surface, but the safety locks would cap my powers quite a bit. Wanda would have to wield the brunt of power until approval for a new piece came in. I thanked the faculty regardless. At least this would get me by.

Cosmo had left me his dorm number on a card. I struggled with his handwriting, and the sight of his building name dropped my core to my legs. Oh dear. Cosmo's room lay inside the Chesberry Peak building. That's where Anti-Lance and the colony are.

Well, I hadn't come across Cosmo when I'd lived out there. Perhaps I wouldn't cross paths with Anti-Lance either. Still… Perhaps direct teleportation would do more good than harm.

Get in. Get out. Don't glance around if anyone calls your name.

He'd exchanged the hoodie for a button-up shirt: white with green crisscross lines and a collar that folded in two perfect triangles. I took in the braces on his teeth. I'd never needed tooth correction; Mother had told me once I had my father's well-spaced fangs, though their size (evidently) came from her. The acne speckles across his face reflected my smooth complexion… though we Anti-Fairies aren't known for acne anyway. It's sweaty Fairy bodies that do that to their skin, I swear.

But I knew those green eyes. They'd looked back at me all my life, every time I'd used a mirror. And every time I'd been summoned to a broken one.

"I can drive us," Cosmo prompted, and my face rushed with prickled chills. So caught up had I been with this mirror of my own face, I'd forgotten to participate in conversation.

"That might be best… I can't travel far with my temporary wand."

"Well, hop in! It's just parked around the back."

Around the back is where the colony live, I thought, but trailed behind him anyway. You didn't see many cars at Carl Poofypants. Most students preferred poofing or flying to get where they needed to go. Cars have their uses, I imagine… especially for someone like Cosmo, who'd been born with the unstable magic mutation that sent common fairy reproduction into lockdown. For some folks, travelling by wheel might be faster than by wing. Especially the ones who had no wings at all.

"I don't go often eat with Fairies at Anti-D'Hielo's," I told Cosmo. "I'm not sure if our tastes differ, but I do so love it there. They offer peanuts as an appetiser."

Cosmo glanced over his shoulder at me. "I'm allergic to peanuts."

Oh. "I shall signal that."

"Anti-Fairies aren't big on dairy," he said in mourning, dropping back to skim beside me. "No cheese there, right?"

"Well, our side of the border supports different animals than yours; we don't see a lot of cattle. We have tortoises, giant otters, woolly rodents, colourful ferrets, flying pigs, and a few interesting birds. Cockatrices lay eggs, though their flesh-meat isn't the highest quality. One thunderhawk can feed a small colony. Valravn are popular. Aitvaraĩ are a pain to raise, though… They're chickens indoors, but turn to dragons outside. You get a lot of hell-hogs in the Barrenglades." The anti-pixies hunted those. I paused, then elected not to elaborate on unicorns. In my experience, Fairies did not take well to tales of hunting those.

Cosmo swiped his tongue around his lips. "I've never had flying pig bacon before. Is it good?"

"We serve it in pork strips with soup; not exactly fried," I told him, and couldn't stop the chuckle when his expression fell. "You know, I've never tried bacon. I've turned away from eating meat. What's it like?"

"No meat? Man, you're missing out."

Cosmo's car didn't have a roof. Not that that was unusual, I suppose. Cloudcars were designed to leap gaps beneath the clouds - some of them even had wings - and in case the springs failed, escaping through the top might be a last resort. The sides shone white. I studied them for signs of scratches, but it seemed my fairy double had taken quality care of his vehicle. It even smelled fresh, like pine needles and melting snow.

"I don't normally ride in cars," I said, climbing in after him. "I've taken the tram, but the last time I touched a car must have been 10,000 years ago." Emphasis on the touching.

"Well, then you're in for a treat! Darla's the best car I've ever had." Cosmo grinned at me as he plugged his wand to the ignition. The car rumbled to life beneath us; I grabbed the door. "And the only car I've ever had…"

"Ah, precisely how long have you been driving for? Oh, Hell's bells-" The car lurched from its place by the curb and zoomed out to the larger street. I caught my crown, pressing it flat to my head as Cosmo sped down the road with laughter on his lips. "Goodness gracious; I might be sick."

True to her make, "Darla" took every leap with the grace of a fish in water. The wheels thumped down with hardly a jolt. Cosmo never cut back on speed… or at least not until he saw the way I clung against the cloudcar's door in dear desperation. Then he did slow her down. I squeezed my eyes against the stinging wind. My monocle had slipped free long minutes ago, and if I clutched it any tighter, I'd likely splinter the glass. "Ah," he said, and shifted speeds again. Darla slowed to a sort of gallop between the cloud puffs. "You're my opposite. I guess you don't like driving fast!"

"Ulp!" I pressed my fingers to my lips. "You know, you go on ahead, darling. I think I'll fly."

Cosmo drove the car over to the roadside. Then he drew to a stop to let me out. I popped the door, but the moment my shaking legs touched cloud, my throat tightened as though fighting off strangler's hands. The car had a certain stench to it- I'd been so close to sickness visiting Mandelro that morning-

Next thing I knew, I was crumpled halfway over, emptying my stomach of assorted insect parts. Live butterflies and caterpillars tumbled from my throat alongside dead worms and crackling crickets. I heaved clean air with every gulp. Cosmo's feet kicked through the clouds towards me. I spread my wings, blocking the sight of goop below me as much I could. His hand slid across my back regardless.

"Yep; that's okay. Get it allllll out. Boy, I'm glad you didn't hurl on Darla's seats. She would've bucked you off."

"Eugh…"

"I'm sorry, Anti-Me. I shouldn't have driven so fast."

"It's the bumps that did me in," I whispered back, only for my stomach to heave again. I spat butterflies to the ground by the dozen. A few paddled against the insect gut puddle that weighed down their wings. Others took flight right away and left me in the dust. I coughed, hacked, and spewed, hands shaking at my knees, my body crumpled over. Cosmo patted my back and drew circles around my shirt the whole time.

"Yeah, there we go…"

I swallowed the next surge of cricket legs forming where my magic spiked. "Oooh… How dreadfully improper of me. Really, this never happens when I'm out and around! I was on Boudacia twice today; the humidity did me in. So sorry you had to see that."

Cosmo's sympathetic pats came again. "Oh, I don't mind. We all get sick sometimes. Hey, that'll be me spewing my guts someday."

"Pardon?"

"Well, you know what they say… Morning sickness comes with the turf of being pregnant. When the baby ban gets lifted, I'll be first in line to have a kid. Well, I guess I have to find a wife. So maybe I'll be second." Cosmo rolled his eyes and head together. "Yeah, most likely, Coleen and Richter will be the first one's to get pregnant… It's like, why don't you dudes get married already? And take the rest of your ooey-gooey love stuff outside the dorm. I'd lock them in a room together, but I think they'd call me to get them out again. Probably way, way late that night. No thanks."

My core picked up, skipping beats. Did he really say what I thought he'd said? I wiped legs and other insect parts off my lips with the back of my hand. "You… you want kids too?" Could two counterparts even be so much alike? It must be Dame Cosmo who'd rather go without. Or… could all three of us think the same way? I tried to paint a mental picture of a world not so long ago, back when some counterpart trios even lived beneath the same roof. "Traditional estate," they say in Fairy World. Big dining tables. Bigger courtyards. My father had lived in one of those, as had his mother before him. Grandnana Anti-Starling found support in her own counterpart even when her honey-lock partner left her with two sons to raise.

What sort of child might Fairy-Cosmo have? The baby would be round like a ball until it shed the exoskeleton. Green eyes, perhaps? Green clearly ran strong in Cosmo's family line; the colour wasn't common, but showed in both his eyes and hair. You know, no matter what else happened, our lives were locked in parallel. If Fairy-Cosmo bore a child, so would I, and we'd raise them in unison worlds apart. Separate. Divided. All alone.

It hadn't always been this way. And if the war had delayed another generation, who knows where we'd be now? I'd never lived on traditional estate property before, even in my past life as Ilisa. Ha… Daddy's clockmaker salary wouldn't have covered that.

I looked at him, then. And I thought about Fairy World before the fighting split our skies apart. Before Anti-Fairies were chased across the border. Before our fathers bid farewell to one another. Before everything began to change. Few families still followed that lifestyle by the time the war broke out, but such arrangements occurred often enough that most Anti-Fairies still called their host's family cousin, aunt, or uncle today. Yes, once upon a time, there had been a belief that one's counterparts would always be their truest partners.

Once upon a time, they'd slept in each other's beds. A Fairy's body heat removed the threat of frostbite even without a colony. Even today, Fairy couples often slept apart. Someone else is meant to be there; someone more constant than a spouse.

Fairy-Cosmo wanted kids. We both wanted kids.

I could ask him, whispered that ever-present voice which stole my secret thoughts. While they're not as common as they used to be, traditional estates do still exist. Our fathers were born in one! It's really no surprise, given who my grandfather was; I may hold Granddad Anti-Gonzo very dear, but he didn't care much for raising pups; he'd left them with their mum. Why, even since the war, my companions Anti-Rosefire and Anti-Snowflake hailed from a traditional estate themselves. Wingsnap Estate, I believe it was called. I'd seen them just last week passing through the courtyard on Anti-Lance's tail.

Could you imagine it? Counterparts growing up in pairs or trios, covering for one another's weaknesses, knowing the other inside and out? As lifelong companions, you supported one another until the end. Especially in the days when Fairy damsels could only mate once before they died. It was your duty, then, as drakes - as surviving parents - to raise the offspring that survived. It's what guardians do.

It's the Refracts that left us struggling with milk. We never would have had our changeling era if they hadn't run off.

What do you think it's like, being fathers together? Supporting one another after you've both lost your wives? Frozen metal ached inside my chest. I clenched my shirt, claws straining to scratch through skin and let it out. "You good?" Cosmo murmured, helping me straighten up, and I told him yes, I was. He nodded. Short. Then, turning the conversation back around, he shrugged. "Yeah, well… I just never understood the whole 'Closing off fairy reproduction so we can study a genetic mutation' thing. I'm affected by it too, and I'm almost made it to 200,000 years old. Isn't that study time enough? They have to lift the ban eventually."

"You want kids," I repeated, seizing him by the arms. "I say, that's thrilling news! So do I!" Cosmo bore no ring upon his hand. How long until he married? He's just as old as me, I recalled, and I'd be getting married within a couple years. He could be close, then. Oh, he must be close!

And he wanted kids. He likes Fairy damsels… Oh, thank GODS he likes Fairy damsels. Wasn't that the implication?

… Did Fairy-Cosmo have a girlfriend? That question twisted my thoughts left and right; I let go of his arms. Might I soon know who I might honey-lock with? What would I say to Mona? Stammered thoughts whirled inside my head, but I tried to keep them to myself. There would be time to sit and chat at dinner. For now, I must seem a right mess. I'd hurled all over the road, right in front of him. That's hardly fatherly of me.

"You want kids too?" Cosmo asked in some surprise. "My opposite? Why would you-?"

"Yes! Why, it's all I've ever wanted. Ever since the Fairy Council told us 'No!'"

A sudden crinkled expression swept across his face. Cosmo evaluated me again, stepping out of arm's reach. I stared back at him in return. What's he thinking now? I could read suspicious twinkles in his mood thanks to the string song in the energy field, but what it meant specifically, I couldn't say. He did not volunteer. I wasn't forward enough to ask. Thus we existed in cruel and perfect parallel.

And the questions rolled in again like a rising tide. I could hardly contain myself until after we'd ordered before I asked them all. Anti-D'Hielo's offered a near-perfect Anti-Fairy dining experience, at least as far as Fairy customers could stand. No walls or ceiling fenced us in. We dined out in nature with cool grass beneath our feet… our food laid out on mossy rocks and cushions wedged beneath our knees.

Cosmo and I must be the odd ones out for arriving as a pair. You often gathered as a colony if you requested food here, and the portion sizes reflected that. On any other day - such as those when I'd come alone with Mona (or even Blonda at my side), I might request seating with another group. The conversation I wished to have, however, demanded secrecy. Cosmo and I ate alone near large boulders in the corner, away from the stream and trees.

"It's been a long time since I've had real Anti-Fairy food," Cosmo said, apologetic and laughing all the same. "Can you run me through the rules again?"

My tail itched to flit behind me, questions of present and future bouncing from my lips. I drew my eyes to the table. Nothing more than our ishredsi bowls had been placed between us yet- Not even appetisers. I took a breath. "Ah, we don't like to call them rules. It's just etiquette, really. You have Da Rules, but our most important book is called the Traditions and Customs. Historically, Anti-Fairies don't use silverware. Plates, forks, and spoons are products of Fairy World. We eat with our hands or drink directly from our bowls. And we don't ever use knives. Knives are tools; they aren't for the dining table. Perhaps sometimes, if we have a Fairy guest. But only then."

"Do you use knives in… the bedroom?" Cosmo asked, cautious as a creeping cat. Every word may as well be a falling paw.

"In our bedchambers? No. Wherever did you hear that?"

"For kiff-tying, right?"

My face prickled up. We're dining, I thought, and he really brought that up? "Oh… No. That's different. Kiff-tying is the highest level of intimacy two creatures can experience, and our mediums use it to bind their bodies to the nature spirits. It certainly isn't for the bedroom."

Cosmo nodded, moving his finger to the table's centre. "Isn't there special bread?"

"You're remembering bunae - It's a dough - but only if someone of the Anti-Coppertalon bloodline eats with us. We always feed whomever holds the closest ties to Anti-Shylinda: the first High Countess. It's what Anti-Kanin gave her when she sustained injury to her arms and legs."

"Oh, yeah. Is it good?"

I shrugged. "Only the children of Laelaps are allowed to try it. At least in public; I suppose you could sneak a taste from the kitchens, but you would never tell a soul. Bunae isn't made for pleasure; it gives honour to our queen. She could reincarnate as any of her descendants at any time. We Anti-Luniflys, though, are the farthest family possible. Cadmea and Laelaps hated each other." I paused. Surely my father's family doesn't trace connection back to her? I wasn't as familiar with my father's ancestry as my mother's, but if we had Anti-Coppertalon blood, I'd certainly be aware. They knew all their family members.

Anti-Wanda came from Anti-Shylinda's line by way of Anti-Ember. Anti-Buster and Anti-Bryndin shared their mum. I bit my lip until it burned. Wouldn't that be funny, I thought with little humour, if Anti-Shylinda were reborn in Anti-Wanda's or Anti-Wendy's soul? After all, Winni himself forbid them from claiming their blood title. No one can serve them bunae openly. Why, we might be snubbing our queen even now, and how terribly rude we would be!

"Oh." Cosmo's face dropped again, like a puppy staring at an empty food dish. "Yeeeah… My ancestors came through Pérez. There's old Tooth Fairy magic in these veins, but no hound dogs."

I jerked up my head. "How did you know that about Pérez? I didn't think Fairies kept Chimera records."

Well, that question lit a fire in his eyes. "My dad was really into ancient texts. He wrote poetry. No one reeeeally knows for sure who the first families were - except the Big 3, like the Fernfires belonging to the rhino house, but the only green-haired family recorded in the old days lived with Pérez. My mom always said we must have family there."

"House Rhino," I corrected mildly. "Yes, that's right. The Anti-Cosma family splits from the Anti-Peppermint family, who split from the Anti-Dentins some generations back. Pérez not only welcomed your Aos Sí ancestors, but mated with a member of the Solitary Fae race: an ancestor of mine called Presumida. Your line is adopted and mine is biological. Same household, though. House Rat."

"Oh… Are the Big 3 biological?"

"No, only Anti-Fairies are. Our ancestors could mate with Chimera because their shape-changing bodies were made from smoke. Chimera didn't change; they couldn't have bred with your ancestors. The Fernfire, Whimsifinado, and Sparklefield families were notable early settlers, but they're adopted too. House Rhino, House Hog, and House Monkey, to be precise." I waited for Cosmo to push back, the way my school teachers always had. Smoke, even the Mr. Whimsifinado - Er, the Head Pixie - had pushed against my explanations despite he and I believing the same truths about his family not holding biological ties to His Glory Twryth. But Cosmo didn't say anything. He studied the bread bowl that came down between us, bearing the scent of melted cheese. I wrinkled my nose, but his hands gripped the table's edge.

"So you do have dairy! And you said you don't have cattle!"

"It's otter milk, actually. We don't domesticate cattle in Anti-Fairy World; there aren't large fields to graze them on. Our land is mostly stone, water, ash, and lava. And acid pools, of course. We milk the otters; they're about the size of cattle and produce more than what they need."

Cosmo drank the sight of rolls up in fascination. A second bowl came down beside the first, this one brimming with sliced pieces of fig, strawberries, and peach topped with mango cream. He turned his head. "Hey, I know this one! The youngest person at the table serves this."

I blinked. "Yes, that's right." If we're being pedantic, most dishes were served by younger individuals, but his analysis proved correct; this was one of them. I reached across the table, taking the bowl in my hands. "It's the oldest dish known to Anti-Fairy-kind, but the fruits only grow in the Far West region. My mother's family lives out there. Most the population are native Vatajasa speakers, and while I speak it with an accent, I'd consider myself near fluent. Do you know what it's called?"

Cosmo's mouth turned down at the edges. It was an odd dish, admittedly. At least in Fairy World. Cosmo probably wouldn't like it; Anti-Fairies have the sharpest hearing in the counterpart trio, Refracts have the sharpest eyes, but no one beats a Fairy's senses when it comes to taste and smell. It might be a little strong for him. I spooned him a small serving, then a slightly larger one for myself. But after a moment's heavy thought, Cosmo brightened up again. "Ishredsi!"

"That's it! Haha! I'm impressed, Cosmo, you old scamp. Have you had it before?"

"Yeah, I work as a waiter when I'm home between school semesters. I'm the youngest fairy there."

Does the waiter serve it in Fairy restaurants? I looked to Cosmo, confused, then pulled my attention to the food again. Well, at least the Fairies had tried to learn our dining etiquette, I supposed. I watched Cosmo take a roll, then bite directly into it. Ah… That wasn't how it was meant to be enjoyed. It functioned as a sort of spoon once our meal was served, but I didn't stop him. Almost immediately, Cosmo coughed and recoiled from the bread. I mean, he dropped it to his plate and leaned back like it had bitten him rather than the other way around.

"That's your cheese?"

And you're incredibly rude. I didn't say that, though, nor did I ask if he didn't like it. He clearly didn't. I glanced off, but instead of changing the subject, Cosmo pushed it farther. "Hey Anti-Me, have you ever had Fairy World cheese?"

"My name is Anti-Cosmo… Please call me that." And not relate me to yourself like that.

Cosmo sat back with a shrug. "Well, it's great. You should try it sometime. We make it from nectar and yale milk."

"I'll keep that in mind."

I ate my ishredsi while Cosmo alternated between his own serving and the cheeseless sections of his bread. I did intend politeness - I really did try - but my patience broke before our meals even came. Once I'd finished my ishredsi (and once I felt for certain Cosmo had given up on his), I slid it aside and drew his attention back to me. "I must say, Cosmo, it's a stroke of pure fate that our paths crossed so precisely after all these years. Why, I've wanted to meet with you for ages! I wrote you a letter inviting you to migration, though it must have gotten lost."

Cosmo laughed. "The Anti-Fairy migration? Yeah, Mama will never let me fly out there."

Mmhm. And here my mother seemed only to eager to shoo me out of the Castle when she could. Even in my youngest days, she couldn't stand the thought of a whole afternoon spent in the library with me. She liked action, Mother. She liked the outdoors. "Well, it's a pleasure to take you out to dinner now… And if you don't mind it, I should love to hear more about your life. It must be quite a thrill to moult into your adult wings. The ladies must give you second looks." I paused there, awaiting some correction (if at all). The pause drew on. Hm. I raised my brows. This time, Cosmo seemed to pick up on it. The energy field shifted to falling sand in time with the rising colour in his neck. His voice, however, never changed.

"Oh man, was it a long time coming! Some of my classmates still get teased for having juvie wings at our age. Does that happen in Anti-Fairy World too?"

Tch. Either he'd lost the thread, or he was dodging the implied question on purpose. Fairies. They always need the details spelled out! I entertained Cosmo's small talk while lining more direct words inside my head. Finally, when the conversation lulled, I made another move.

"Yes, well… I'd like to talk to you about your dating life."

Like a lightning bolt, Cosmo's mental shields shot up. You could feel it in the static sounds ringing through the field. Aha… ha… Forward I may have been, and cringing I was, but I set my teeth and pointed my chin up. I lived as his opposite. It was my life he played with every day, whether he faced real danger or considered pairing with a damsel. I'd been patient. I'd been polite. Not once had I sought him out to demand answers without invitation. I did not demand his time when our paths crossed back in Faeheim. I hadn't asked my Fairy classmates to point me in his direction. Nay! I'd written him a letter. I'd kept out of his way. I hadn't visited in all my life. Why, it doesn't get more clear that I hoped to make contact than that!

"I don't mean to pry, darling… but I did take the common fairy mating class in school. Let me see…" I waited for Cosmo to interject, but he did not reply. I went on. "If my understanding is correct" - which it was - "your subspecies are vehemently monogamous, to the point where it's taboo for any of you to remarry. It's said that fairies only give their souls away once, you know. We hear that even in Anti-Fairy World; they say it's impossible ever after to, well… To put it crudely, manage the arousal to mate again."

"Oh, all that gets romanticised."

"Pardon?"

Cosmo shrugged, following my lead to dip his roll inside his soup. "Hey, I don't know anything about arousal. Try asking Fairy dames."

Ah. Right. "Yes; I'll keep that in mind. It shouldn't be difficult to bring it up; my roommate's in heat." Why did I say that? The instant the words left my mouth, I kicked my heel against my ankle. Oh, rubbish! Did I really just go and blab?

"Yeah, I picked up on that," Cosmo said, dipping his bread again. I don't think he even took a bite after that first dunk. I watched him tip the soup bowl towards him, his knuckles turning white from how tight he squeezed. "She should try suppressors. Walking into your place to break you from those cuffs got really distracting straight out of the gates."

I stared back at him, colour surely rising in my face, before it occurred to me… Why, this is exactly what he wants! He's told me nothing useful about his love life; he means to embarrass me out of asking further! Ooooh, drat! That clever fowl!

Well, the Anti-Cosmo part of me - born and raised in Hy-Brasilian cultural norms - may be squirming, but the will o' the wisp in me didn't know a lick of shame. I honed my thoughts on Ilisa as tightly as I could. What would Ilisa ask him now?

Turning to Ilisa, however, did not bring me the confidence I hoped. Splinters of memory had leaked through across the years, but entire centuries of my past life remained under lock and key. Ilisa wouldn't let that stop her, though. Not to mention, I never had a past life to ask advice from when I wore her wings. And so, steeling my stare against Cosmo's, I tried again.

"Adult life certainly has its perks. We Anti-Fairies don't moult our wings, but I too delighted when my scent gland began to show." I tapped my head, my bald spot half-hidden beneath a cleverly combed patch of hair. "Have you given much thought to marriage, old chap? I realise I'm asking early, but I shan't want to be late. No trouble, darling, but I'd love to work around it. Planning my life around the unknown can only take me so far, you know what I mean?"

Cosmo's eyes slid down my arm. I followed to the turquoise ring wrapped around my finger. "Are you married?" he asked. Unmoving.

"Not yet, but I'm engaged to a Soil dame. We'll have our wedding when this godchild assignment is over. She's wonderful, actually- My fiancée, I mean." Showing him my hand, I added, "Anti-Fairies wear black wedding bands. Unmarried ones use colors to signal our zodiac to possible partners. It's so embarrassing to ask midway through a one-night stand. That's what I've heard, anyway."

"What's her name?"

"Anti-Saffron Anti-Feldspar. I believe her counterpart lives in Far East, same as you." The Pink Robe's domain; it lurked above Earth's snowy north. As a matter of fact, Wanda's family hailed from there too. "Do you know her?"

A thousand words could have passed in the painted silence of that moment. I could have folded a hundred paper stars. Cosmo lifted his eyes to mine. They said everything and nothing. Clashing thoughts, bitten lips, heaving breaths. I could not pierce the unknowns, however. Not against a storm like that.

"Yes," Cosmo finally said. "She lives in Comet Falls."

"Well, living near water does track; she is a qalupalik… Are you married, my dear Cosmo?"

His wings flickered up. "Me? No… I'm not even dating anyone. But my heat comes around in 200 years, so maybe then."

"221, I believe, but I'll have to check my cycle tracker. Well, keep me posted. Wait." I felt my coat pockets, found one of my demon summoner's cards, and flicked it across the table to Cosmo's hands. "That's my contact information. I just had them updated; come find me and my fiancée at any time. You're always welcome at Maplefeather Point. I happen to know Anti-Coleen Anti-Fernfire personally."

"Yeah," he said. "I'll think about it." He flipped the card over. Then back. "Can I see Anti-Saffron?"

"Well, all right." I leaned across the table, reaching out my hand. "May I?"

Cosmo inclined his head. I pressed my fingertips to his skin, pressing all my thoughts straight through them towards his brain. Cosmo tensed his mind on instinct, but his walls dropped away. I caught him in a mind-meld as easily as I could have waved my wand. It's so much easier when your target's right there, actually. Our thoughts curled together like hedgehogs huddling tight for warmth. I guided my thoughts to Anti-Saffron that night she'd sprinted along the shore of Lake Silverclaw, her amauti hood and wild black curls flapping behind her. The sky glowed ember-red. But then, it would in Hy-Brasil, wouldn't it? That's exactly what the name translates to.

We were younger back then. She wore rabbit-skin boots. I'd taken the lead with Cadmea's blood racing in my veins, but running backwards so I might see her entire form. Pink wings skimmed the air like the edge of a kite. We'd been out that night chasing newts and watching stingless jellies bob close enough to feed; I think we stayed in the hotel with a few mates from the Anti-Bentleaf colony. And Mona's laugh…

… Mona's laugh. It rang out like bells on sled dog reins. I could have played that laugh on repeat for the rest of my life. I slowed my run, reaching towards her, and clasped her amauti in my fists. I pulled her in, tasting cocoa and marshmallow on the backs of her fangs-

I closed the mind-meld before my thoughts could shift in a less appropriate direction. "She's very pretty," Cosmo told me, and sounded like he meant it. "I like her swirly ringlets."

"Yes," I murmured. "She's very pretty." You should see her in my travelling clothes. "She's studying veterinary sciences, actually. Her mum Anti-Dixie herds those giant otters I mentioned. They're certainly not easy to corral. Believe me- I've spent a few summers helping out."

"Ooh, I love animals! Does she like monkeys?"

I did not especially like the smile that floated through his eyes. I sharpened to attention, but what could I say? My hackles bristled like spikes of ice, but to question his intentions would be to accuse him of showing interest across Court boundaries, and that, I would not do in public. "You know, I'm not sure." Anti-Fairy World had no monkeys, and neither Mona nor I had ever been to Earth. I'd never asked her opinion there. "She does like rabbits. Hy-Brasil is filled with them."

"Hey, don't knock a monkey 'til you've tried one."

I studied him, then, very hard. "She and I have discussed quite extensively where we might like to live when we raise our pups- Or Anti-Saffron's pups, at least, if you and I never pass our genes along. Ha- Or even if you do! There are rules, of course, and pups belong to the mother, not to me. I'd have no claim if I weren't married to your wife's counterpart when they're born. Anyway. I have a border crossing pass and I quite like it in Fairy World. Actually, if there hadn't been a war, I would have been born on this side of the Barrier. Probably in Esterale; that's where my mother's family comes from. Do you perchance know any Anti-Fairies who still live around here? A few of my colonymates grew up in old estates. There must be some towns that still respect our guardian nature, if I can say that without sounding like a braggart."

Cosmo tapped his fingers; every touch smacked against my ears. "My dad lived on a traditional estate, but we don't have it anymore."

Oh, biscuits and rats. At least he'd picked up my conversation thread. "Mine did too. With your father, as I recall. I wish I could have asked about it."

"Yeah. Me too." He leaned back, wings shimmering with every shift his body made. "Sooo, what are your thoughts on estate stuff, Anti-Cosmo? I mean, our dads grew up together. So did our grandmas. Man oh man, I wish I could've seen it, but Mama Starling used to tell me stories when we read my dad's old books. Hey, I guess it's in our blood. But I guess you wouldn't ever…?"

"Would you want to?"

Cosmo flipped my contact card between his fingers again. A pause spanned between us, chasm-like and slicing through my soul. At last, he clicked his teeth and tucked my card away. "I'll think about it. But when I find a wife, you'll be the first to know!"

… My core dragged itself through some cold, long beats. When you find a wife? Did that mean he wouldn't keep in touch before then? He made no promises he'd ask out Saffron. Nor had he responded to my careful comment regarding an Anti-Fairy mother's right to pups, which an unmarried sire did not share. Will I have any time to develop a relationship before I honey-lock? Or will I be flying blind? I suppose it tracked, in all honesty. Fairies and Anti-Fairies living together had more say in one another's partners, but while divided by the border, our lives were split in two. I did spring Anti-Saffron on him…

Yes, but my mating with her shan't cause the honey-lock to take effect on him. Oh, if I were the host and he the reflective one-

I tried to stall the twitching in my ears. I smiled in full politeness, rising to my feet. "Well, do send the post whenever you can. I shall count the days. And… perhaps do so from a public office where your mum can't intervene."

"Ah, I have a few tricks up the old sleeve." He smiled too, eyes flicking up and down. "Work as a magic key sure has its downsides, but if switching jobs is what it takes to get some fresh air, I'll take it every time. Hey! Off-topic, but have you heard about ScaniVerse?"

"Have I heard about… what, now?"

"It's a game. You play it with your wand." Indeed, Cosmo slid his wand from his sheath and held it where I could see. Then, striking fast, he jabbed the tip against my nose. "Boop!"

"Oof! Oh, go on; what was that for?"

"See, once you scan someone, the wand recreates an avatar of them that lives inside the game." Cosmo messed with his wand for a moment, then twisted back so I could see the screen glowing on the cap. "That's you! You're the first person outside the test group I've actually scanned, and that makes you Number 8. Once I get to 10, I'll unlock new areas all over Fairy World."

What's this? I lifted Cosmo's wand, making a mental note of how willingly he passed it on. Yes, yes… The face gazing back certainly resembled mine. That was undeniable. I moved to touch it, but stopped at the pulse of heat spreading from the star. Instead, I tilted the wand from side to side. Every few seconds, the screen shimmered and changed to reveal different personal information about me. My adult name hovered on the screen, though it listed me as Anti-Lunifly instead of Anti-Cosma. In a blink, the words common anti-fairy took its place. Then my mother's name, tailed shortly by my father's. And my connection with the High South region. I squinted back in disbelief. Does Fairy World have our paperwork?

"How curious. You Fairies secretly have all this data-collecting, automatic census and identification technology, and young adults are out there using it to play silly collectible games? Why, this is boundless technology!"

"Yeah, the hardest part was setting the spell to identify all the different pixies. It's funny to hear you say that, though. That's almost exactly what the girl at the pothole office told me when I went in. Except she also called it 'invasive' and 'possibly illegal and dangerous.' Man, girls are always rejecting me. It's kooky, yo."

I looked up. Cosmo hovered just out of reach, tugging his sleeves to his wrists. He smiled with faint content, I should say- Like he had no fear at all. "You went to a… pothole office?"

Cosmo shrugged. "That's where you go when you invent something."

"The patent office? Wait. Wait. You invented this, Cosmo?"

"Yeah. I spend a lot of time in my room, and when I get bored, I like to make games. I made a whole simulation of Fairy World for this, but I can't get it off the ground. Everyone I've talked to just laughs and says it's silly to build models when we can poof anywhere we need to go, and I think H.P.'s just sending me around in circles to burn me out on paperwork." Cosmo shrugged a second time. "Mostly I just play by myself. It's a great way to meet people, though. And a great way to get yelled at by people."

The longer I studied him, the more I wondered if my counterpart happened to be as stupid as his untamed hair. Struggling to keep my tone as light as I could, I prodded, "You say there exists a full-scale model of Fairy World inside this game?"

Cosmo shook his head. "I wouldn't call it 'full-scale' this early on, but that's kind of my end goal. I don't have the funds, and it is a tough project to take on all by myself."

Yes, I thought, but I'm a noble sitting on more funds than I know what to do with. I hardly have need of money in Anti-Fairy World. "My good man, I'd be quite happy to join you in your research. Perhaps I can even scout parts of Fairy World you never planned to visit. How do you play?"

Cosmo talked the whole skim back to his car, waving his wand around to showcase different features of his ScaniVerse project. I couldn't have my own account, he said, because he didn't have a way to connect multiple wands to his project, but if he had the patents, funding, and Fairies who knew the tech, he could get it off the ground. Good smoke. Is this what it sounds like when I ramble? I clutched every detail I could grasp, but in reality, my mind charged ahead at the speed Cosmo's car zoomed down the road.

I don't have to KILL Anti-Phillip to try taking his place… I just need to be the most useful son. Anti-Bryndin, I think, would very much enjoy a full-scale model of Fairy World in the palm of his hand, and information on the people to go along with it. Why, think of the bad luck we could deliver so much more efficiently! No more paperwork when it comes to tracking down mums for broken backs!

Oh, but I was only getting started. I don't mean to sound crass now, but locating our counterparts quickly and efficiently could be terribly useful; making friends with our counterparts gave us stronger legs to stand on when the time came for a Fairy to pick their partner. Cosmo had only known me for a day, and even so, he'd promised to inform me when he married… and even consider life in a traditional estate, raising our children all together. He must want more than one, I thought, and this unprecedented theory left me smiling secretly against my palm.

Perhaps I really could catch Anti-Bryndin's eye with clever project investments. While I didn't have the same political and etiquette training that Anti-Phillip had been taught all his life, I was still a noble, and I had wide exposure to Fairy schools. I'd even travelled with a bachelor colony. Had Anti-Phillip ever travelled with a bachelor colony? I think not. I kept my head over the edge of the car, bracing myself for another wave of butterflies seething from my stomach.

Yet even if Anti-Bryndin took no interest in my project (as if that would be the case), I couldn't see that dampening my mood. Cosmo said he'd like to allow navigation of public buildings within his world, if he could collect the data. I'd awfully like to admire Esterale at my leisure. Why, you could visit zodiac temples with that! Or at the very least look at them. I know I wouldn't have been so nervous as a child if I'd but seen the interiors before I set off. Especially when Anti-Elina and my mother had dragged me to the Breath Temple for the gangrene on my feet.

Yuck. Anti-Elina… And Anti-Bryndin snapped at me over supper. Perhaps he isn't quite so perfect after all. My mother could do whatever she wanted to remove Anti-Elina from power. I'd pursue Anti-Phillip…

But… now this new puzzle piece didn't fit so well with my blurry visions of the future. And the more I rotated these different pieces around and around in mental hands, the more confused I became. On the one hand, I wanted nothing more in life than to become a father; raise my own children. Outfox the honey-lock too, with time permitting.

On another hand, would I not enjoy a life devoted to genie studies? Or art history? Painting? Demon summoning? Architecture? Crossdressing with Mona and flying off with her to start a colony of our own? All this godparenting work I'd chased after so spontaneously, but which had woven itself into my life throughout the past year? What about the things the Head Pixie and Mother had whispered to me about my status, or how I might perhaps take the First General position if I acted clever enough? I didn't even have a real plan for how to do such a thing. Scribbled ideas, note sheets… Bleh. Actually, most of it was stored in the old noggin.

… Now I had another option. I could divert my time and resources into Cosmo and his ScaniVerse project. Perhaps we could even live together. And I might like that very much. OH! And let's not forget, my whole life could turn upside-down if I preferred a serious relationship with Blonda at my side! Or if I returned to the Eros Nest to pick my internship up again where I'd left off so long ago. Or if I went back in the enclosure. Or if I left my culture altogether to pursue a life of sexual pleasure, regardless of what the zodiac says about my role as more dominant than submissive on most occasions.

Oh, dear… That WAS a lot of things that had come up in my life. And I little more than 160,000 years old. I stared at the road beneath Darla's tires and all the pink cloudfluff that made up Fairy World's pathways, and had a sudden dreadful thought.

Where is my life even going? My plans are muddled all the time- I can barely keep them all straight. I change class direction without a care. How many thoughts and projects have I picked up, only to drop them again when something else flits across my path?

Anti-Lance had always known where he was going. Since the day that I met him, he'd planned a career in politics. He'd charted a course for sitting on the Anti-Fairy Council someday, but deep down, I knew his intent to settle for no less than a Fairy World seat itself. Now, why couldn't I have picked something so simple to hone my focus on? My whole life tossed and swatted me like a tiny ball bouncing across a tabletop net.

I should visit the Soil Temple. Maybe Twis can help me balance out my soul. If the spirit who watched over merchants and farmers could intertwine his life so flawlessly with the spirit who watered his crops and guided fish to fishermen, surely he could guide me too. As someone born in Sunnie's year, Twis had always been the one I'd been taught to seek for deepest comfort. After all, Sunnie would want that for me.

I miss Mother… And you know, I could recognize my mother's faults, but that didn't mean I didn't appreciate a good whack to the head now and then. I say, I could really use someone like that in my everyday life: a person entirely devoted to keeping me on track, who would grab me by the arm if I went off on some tangent and yank me back. I'd take a smack or two if it shook some sense into me. Ha! Wouldn't that be a lark. A servant whose title is 'thwacker!' I chuckled to myself.

"What's so funny?" Cosmo asked as we drove along.

"Oh… Nothing. Carry on." I sat back against the padded seats of the cloudcar, rubbing my palm around the stitching. What a marvellous piece of technology this was. We certainly didn't have anything like it in Anti-Fairy World. Maybe a few carts, but delivery trucks could really turn our world around. I could make THAT a personal project for Anti-Bryndin's attention too, I thought, but shook my head. Ah, there I went again. "Well, I was just thinking back on my education and the arts. Seeing the tiny Fairy World you're bringing to life, it does make me feel I've made nothing of my life thus far. That's silly-sounding, I know, but I've been running in circles without any real progress for the longest time. My networking history is keeping me afloat, but only just. My background is in art history. I'm not sure now what I can really do with that." I guess most artists train as architects, but I've blown that path out of the water.

Cosmo glanced over at me. "Are you kidding? You're in training to be a fairy godparent. That's totally wicked! Man, you're going to make so many kids' feel better about their lives…" He shot me a second look, this time longer. The wind coasted across his hair so it flew like a horse's mane. "My dad would've cried so hard to see an Anti-Fairy get where you are today. He wrote a lot of books about school. He would've loved to meet you… I bet your dad is up on Plane 23 and so proud of you too."

"… Well, possibly. I don't know; Anti-Robin kept his head down and did what he was told, or at least that's what my mother says."

"You can call my dad 'Dad' if you want to."

I didn't have any response for that. Mine wasn't dismissive of me, I thought. I'd no reason to think my father would see anything shameful in my schooling, apart from my brother's belief that Anti-Fairies should spend more time helping their own than pandering to the Fairies, which is a view I honestly did support. I owed my father some respect. Even if I remembered him only as the drake who'd shooed me from the kitchens time and time again.

Cosmo shifted the car so it drove a little faster down a narrow wooded road. "Have you thought about military school?"

"What?"

"Mama might send me there… At least, if I can't get my grades to pass me through my classes now. She thinks it'll stop me from reading because that's a 'waste of time' and all that. I think it sounds awful, but you're my opposite. Maybe you'd like military school. It might help you focus better. You know: self-discipline, self-care… uhh… self-love. What else?"

"Cosmo, you boob! You've just added more to my to-do list!" I sighed, lips puttering, and leaned as far back as my chair would go. "I don't know what to do with myself. I want so many things, but how does anyone choose only one or two of them? It would mean dropping all the rest! … I need advice from an expert of organization and task fulfillment."

"Well, I can't help you there," he remarked. "Putting things in order isn't my strong suit, but I keep a diary. That helps. Ooh! Have you talked to your fiancée? If you think you like all your studies, maybe she can tell what gets you excited more."

"Why would she know anything about that?"

"I don't know," Cosmo said, the light in his eyes dimming down. "It was just an idea."

"Ta! Now, that's where our cultures differ. You're far more comfortable with outspoken dames than I'll ever be. Ooh, nagging women… I'm never good enough for her, you know? For any of them- My mother or Anti-Saffron. Or even Anti-Wendy!"

"What about your karmic weave?" Cosmo asked, and I fell queasy all over again. "Soothsayers are cool in Anti-Fairy World, right? To see different future paths? Maybe you're happier in one of those futures than the others, and maybe your job will tell you which one's which."

"No… That's off the table for me. Sorry." I'm openly plotting treason. I can't risk that being caught. "Actually, may I see the ScaniVerse again?" Fiddling around might spark some new ideas.

"I'm driving," he replied, pointing one finger to the drawer where his wand lay tucked away. Oh, yes… You had to plug the car into a wand or the pedals wouldn't go. Pity. I suppose Fairies worry they'll think up some frivolous thing and it will take their mind from the road, but personally, locking my wand out of reach in a car without a roof only coiled my tension into a spring. I glanced at Cosmo, whose green hair fluttered like velvet in the wind. That silly look of concentration on his face made him look entirely focused on touching his tongue tip to his nose. Soon enough, we'd go our separate ways… He'd go back to the main campus (or maybe home to Mama) while Wanda and I kept in the godparenting buildings. How many years would pass before I laid eyes on him again?

I shouldn't ask this; it's rude and accusatory. But I couldn't help myself. "Cosmo… Were you quite serious about considering life in a traditional estate someday? Our fathers were born after the end of the war. Do you think it could really work? Even now in modern times?"

He went silent beside me, staring forward, for so long that I actually thought he might be thinking up a polite way to dismiss me from the car. We left the woods behind, the trees giving way to small city buildings. "I'm not sure," is what he said. "I'm not even married yet. For me, the whole point in living with you and our Refract - If she even wanted to - would be raising our kids together. I know how hard it was for Mama, living single, but at least if we lost our wives, we'd be single together."

"Oh, pooh… Well, mine could be tied to yours, so it's really more a matter of keeping you and your wife safe, even if that does mean taking drastic measures. Anti-Fairies are called 'the guardian counterpart' for a reason, remember. Regeneration serves us well. We're very good at getting in the way, protecting Fairies from any danger."

"Yeah, unless I don't marry Saffron."

I know. Oh gods, I know. And if that were so, I could kiss my future honey-lock partner's children good-bye. "Then marry whomever you like! I can support two damsels on my own. We do it all the time in Anti-Fairy World; really, we like colonies. I should think I know a thing or two about raising children considering the life that I grew up in. Look here. If we both commit to such a life, there must be a way to pull it off. There are still a few estates today."

"I'm not sure," Cosmo said again. "It seems messy upfront and I don't even know you or your fiancée yet, but I think it could be fun raising kids. I've always wanted a big family. Hey, do Anti-Fairy pups shake themselves off after a bath?"

"I still do that now. Of course, there will be cultural differences to account for on both sides. You Fairies like to eat in the dark, don't you?"

"Yeah, 'cuz we can taste candles from the other side of the house. Who wants that messing with their food?"

It wasn't the loud, proud, and committed start I would have liked to hear from in, but it gave me direction. I reached to take his hand. Cosmo shifted his eyes to meet mine. Would the ban on fairy babies ever be lifted in our lifetimes? Surely it must be, for like my granddad Anti-Gonzo always said, it's such an abuse of power for Fairy World to hold so much sway over-

"WATCH OUT!" I shrieked, yanking back my hand. Cosmo snapped from me to the road ahead. I heard the thump before I even saw the person we'd just barreled into. Cosmo spat something I didn't hear and grabbed the steering wheel. Oh smoke, oh smoke! He spun the car to the side of the road, but in a whirling way so it screeched to a halt facing the direction we had come. I spotted pink curls lying dirty on the ground, a yellow dress, the body limp in the dark. My hand flew to my mouth.

"You hit my roommate!"

"I- I didn't mean to!" Cosmo kept his hands on the wheel, his mouth hanging open. "I didn't see her! I didn't mean-"

All my queasiness went out the window. At least, I told myself that so I might brace myself for more. I leapt from the car and flew back the way we'd come, Cosmo following suit on the opposite side. "Wanda!"

"The Fairywinkle girl?" he asked incredulously.

"You know her?"

"Sh-she passes through my neighbourhood every other week for painting lessons." He lunged forward, grabbing Wanda's shoulders. His eyes rolled back until they glowed; I think he switched to field-sight to check her breathing lines. They must be connected, because her body swelled and fell now and then (Thank Tarrow). I didn't like that dark mark across her neck. Wooziness had left her rather shaken up. Her eyes wobbled between Cosmo and myself. Cosmo hooked his arm beneath her legs, hoisting her up like a baby dragon. I couldn't decide where to put my hands, so I hung back. "Get in the car," he ordered anyway. "We're going to the hospital. You're an Anti-Fairy- Do you do healing magic?"

"To a degree? I know the basics. Er, should you be driving-?"

"Get in the car! And buckle up this time!"

A/N - In the Season 9 episode "Cosmonopoly," Cosmo first meets Wanda after running her over with his car (She took a headlight right to the windpipe, dontcha know). The timeline I'm following is that Cosmo is aware of Wanda and thinks she's pretty. His family is in debt to Big Daddy and she's passed his house in accordance with "School's Out! The Musical" scenes.

Cosmo has now run her over, kicking off the intertwinement of their lives. Wanda isn't happy with him, but will slowly develop feelings while he works in a diner (another Musical scene).