Harley had not been looking for the man. She had simply been minding her own business, making her way back to her place after a long shift at the dinner when she had heard footsteps behind her. She had recognized the man's ugly face because they had been showing his mug shot on TV for days now. A serial rapist/murderer had escaped from Arkham Asylum and the police had been on a manhunt ever since.
Harley knew how to make herself look demure and unthreatening and the man had fallen pray to her trap. He had touched her shoulder and she had lifted him up in the air before slamming him to the ground.
"Wrong move, pal," Harley said, pressing on the man's throat with her foot.
"You bitch," he spat.
Harley sighed and kicked him in the face, rendering him unconscious. Harley patted the man's jacket in search of a cellphone and used it to call the police. She told the operator about the attack and immediately hung up when the woman asked her for her name. Then she hid in the shadows until she saw a patrol car pull up near the alley.
Harley watched from afar as one of the officers handcuffed the man she had knocked out while his partner made his way to her. Harley tensed immediately.
"Are you okay, Ma'am?" the officer asked.
"I didn't do it," Harley immediately exclaimed.
The man chuckled, lowering his head coyly.
Holy cannoli! Was that guy gorgeous or what?!
"I never said you did," he told her simply.
Harley shrugged. "I'm just a concerned citizen, nothing more, officer… Grayson," she said, reading the nametag on his chest.
The man chuckled again and Harley found herself smiling for no reason.
"Oh, I'm sure you are," he told her. "Well, thank you all the same, Ma'am."
Harley watched him walk away, her gaze unexpectedly wandering towards his butt. And what a glorious butt it was. Not as yummy as Nightwing's though.
Harley sighed. She took her phone out of her pocket and scrolled down the list of contacts. Her thumb hovered over Nightwing's number for a few seconds before she sighed again and put the phone back into her pocket.
Nightwing and her had been having some fun for a couple months now and Harley was trying really hard not to fall for the guy. She had a tendency to fall way too soon, and way too hard. She knew that pretty well by now. One of the perks of being a genius psychiatrist was that she could pinpoint her own flaws pretty easily if she cared to. But despite all her concerns, she simply couldn't stay away from the guy.
ooo
Pammy had been trying to stop one of the gangs operating in Gotham from pouring chemicals into the harbor and someone had blown up her apartment in retaliation. Harley had immediately started working on the case. No one could hurt Pam and get away with it.
To be honest, Harley had no plan to speak of and wasn't that the perfect summary of her life? She had been following the gang's activity for a few days and had managed to find one of their contacts: some shady GCPD officer.
Fortunately, Wayne Enterprise had organized a fundraiser for the GCPD and Harley fully intended on making an appearance.
ooo
Tim frowned. "What is Harley Quinn doing here?"
Dick followed Tim's gaze and smiled when he saw none other than Harley Quinn standing in the middle of the room, wearing a stunning red dress and sipping a glass of champagne with not one care in the world. Dick knew that Harley was most probably casing the room, looking for someone or something but Dick had no idea what she was planning. She had not told Nightwing about attending the fundraisers. After all, the two of them tended to keep their own business private and did not tell each other about their current investigations.
Dick put his hand on Tim's shoulder. "I'll handle it," he said confidently. He smoothed the front of his jacket. "How do I look?"
"You look fine."
Tim watched Dick walking towards Harley Quinn with a frown on his face. He had no idea what the older man was trying to achieve by engaging the woman in a crowded room. Tim only hoped that Harley was not there to cause any trouble.
Meanwhile, Dick had finally made his way across the room to Harley. He took a few seconds to admire how perfect her ass looked in that tight dress before leaning in.
"Can I have this dance?"
Harley turned around with a frown but she smiled as soon as she recognized him.
"Officer Grayson!" she exclaimed. "What a surprise."
"You can call me Dick," he asked, extending a hand towards her. "So? Care for a dance?"
Harley stared at the offered hand and shrugged.
"Sure, sugar. I was starting to get bored anyway."
She grabbed his hand and Dick immediately spun her around. Harley giggled loudly, attracting the attention of people around them, and especially Bruce who sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Tim was watching from afar, wondering how on earth Dick had ended up slow dancing with Harley Quinn of all people.
"You've been keeping out of trouble, I hope?" Dick asked as they danced.
Harley thought about Pammy's apartment getting blown up and chuckled nervously.
"I've been trying to but trouble keeps finding me anyway."
"Well, you might need someone to help you with that," Dick said, leaning in to whisper in her ear.
Harley shivered and she bit her lip. That man was as hot as fire, and judging by the self-satisfied smirk on his face, he knew it very well.
"Don't worry about me, Officer, my boyfriend's been keeping an eye on me."
She saw the surprise on the man's face before he covered it up with a smile.
"What a lucky guy."
Harley nodded. "I think so too," she told him with a cheeky smile.
Harley's confidence was merely a façade of course. Alarms were going off in her brain at the word "boyfriend". What the hell was she thinking using that word?
Before she could say anything else, she felt Dick tensing. He looked above Harley's shoulder and suddenly pushed her to the ground as she heard gunshots all around them.
ooo
What a spectacular failure. Clearly, Harley was not ready for the vigilante's lifestyle. Not only had she failed to get the intel she needed, she also caused Officer Grayson to get hurt by pushing her out of the way of a bullet.
Despite all the craziness, Harley's real concern had nothing to do with the shooting. After taking a well-deserved shower, she took her phone out of her purse and called Pammy.
"I said the B-word!" Harley exclaimed as soon as her friend picked up.
"Bitch?"
Harley shook her head, even though Pamela could not see her.
"Nah, the other one."
"Batman?"
"No! Red! I told him I had a boyfriend!" Harley exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. "This is bad, this is really, really bad."
She heard Pamela sigh. "Harley, you're not making any sense!"
"Officer Grayson was flirting with me! And I told him I have a boyfriend! But Nightwing and I- we're not like that, you know. Pammy, I can't handle a relationship right now! You know what happened last time."
"Oh, yeah," Pamela chimed in.
"Right, and this Officer Grayson guy is super cute, you know. I mean with the sexy voice and the jawline and…"
Wait a damn second! Harley knew that jawline! She had seen that jawline up close! She had trailed kisses all over that jawline!
"Holy cannoli!" she exclaimed. "Red, I need to go! Call you later, bye."
"Harley, wait-"
Harley hung up and stared at the phone in her hand without really seeing it. Her mind was reeling and she did not know what to do.
"Holy molly, what the hell?" Harley exclaimed in the empty room. "What the fuck, Harley? What the fuck?"
Officer Grayson – Bruce Wayne's ward – was Nightwing! Did that mean Bruce Wayne was Batman? Holy crap, Bruce Wayne was Batman! And the two teenagers that had been with them at the fundraiser were most probably Red Robin and Robin.
Wait, Officer Grayson had been shot while trying to protect her, hadn't he? Which meant that Nightwing was hurt!
Harley allowed herself a ten-minute long freak out. Then she took a deep breath and walked out of her apartment. She did not know if Nightwing would be at his usual safe house but Harley had a feeling he might. Either way, she needed to see him right this second. If he wasn't at his safe house, she'd find his apartment. That would be a piece of cake now that she knew his real name. Harley was not a stalker (well, not much anyway) but the man had left her no choice.
ooo
Harley climbed through the window of the tiny apartment Nightwing had been using as a safehouse and came face to face with none other than Red Robin. The younger man did not seem all that surprised to see her there which made Harley wonder what Nightwing had told him about her. Did he know about what the two of them had been up to these past few months? Did Batman know?
Red Robin told her to wait while he talked to Nightwing. Then, he came out of the bedroom and let her in. Harley could almost feel him assessing her as she stepped inside the room. She closed the door behind her and finally saw Nightwing. The poor guy was lying on the bed completely shirtless but for the white bandage wrapped around his stomach. Harley almost rolled her eyes when she realized that he was still wearing his domino mask despite his lack of shirt.
"Hey," he said. "What are you doing here?"
Harley was about to blow up but she held herself back at the last second.
"I saw you get shot," she said calmy.
"Oh, you saw me?"
Harley nodded slowly.
"Well, I guess I don't need this anymore, do I?" Nightwing said, finally removing his mask.
Even though she had known Officer Grayson's face was hiding behind that mask, seeing him barefaced still came as a shock to Harley. She slowly made her way to him and sat down on the edge of the bed. Then, she slapped his shoulder. Hard.
"You should be more careful!" she scolded him.
Dick winced as he rubbed his shoulder.
"I'm fine."
"You're not fine! You're so far from fine! You could have gotten seriously hurt and I wouldn't have known about it because I didn't even know your freaking name before tonight!"
"Harl, you're freaking out."
"Of course, I'm freaking out! I know your secret identity now! I know Batman's secret identity! What if I babble? What if I get tortured? Or dosed with truth serum? Pammy's been working on a truth serum, you know, that shit is scary good. Are you really going to let me run around Gotham now that I know Batman's secret identity?"
Dick sighed and gently cupper her face with his hands.
"First off, I'm not letting you do anything," he told her sternly. "I don't own you. Besides, I trust you, Harley. I do. And yeah, Bruce will probably have my head once he knows that you know but you're definitely worth it."
Harley almost sighed in relief. She had been working herself up about all this but Dick had managed to calm her down with only a few words.
She chuckled and said, "Is the sex that good, honey?"
Dick nodded very seriously. "Best I ever had."
"Oh, you really know how to sweet talk a girl, don't you… Dick," she added, trying out his name.
"Feeling better?" he asked. Harley nodded. "Want to cuddle?"
"Always."
"Come here," he said, opening his arms.
The two of them lied down on the bed and Harley put her head on his shoulder.
"You know," she said, "Now would be a perfect time to play doctor."
THE END