The club was packed, people everywhere...hardly any room to move and for the life of him he couldn't figure out why anyone would think this was fun. He shakes his head, he couldn't believe he was even here...his head was already throbbing from the thudding beats of the already way too loud music...his heart felt like it was going to literally jump out of his chest. His hand firmly, grasped in hers as she drags him through the crowd and he had thought for the millionth time to just tell her he was leaving. Elizabeth knew this wasn't his kinda thing, she knew that he wasn't the type of guy to go clubbing...he hated strangers and he hated loud music...and he hated to dance! She stops and turns to face and he looks down at her, hoping that she'd see the complete lack of enthusiasm and absolute despair on his face...hoping that she'd take pity and let him leave. Unfortunately, she didn't instead she asked him the most absurd question he'd ever heard. Isn't this great? She asks, loudly...he could just barely hear her over the music and he looks around the dark club, squinting at the bright colors emitted from the strobe lights and he sighs. Yeah...great. He mutters, sarcastically. You wanna dance? She asks and he looks at her confused. She assumed that he hadn't heard and points to the where people were dancing, if you could call it that. He'd heard her the first time, but couldn't believe she would even ask such a ludicrous question. I don't dance. He replies, speaking over the loud music and she looks at him, unbelieving. You don't dance? You let me drag you to a club and you don't dance? She asks and he shakes his head. I tried to tell you that before you dragged me to the club! He says, hoping she heard him and she sighs, rolling her eyes. Cmon Jason...we hardly go out anywhere...I thought this would be fun! She says, speaking loudly and he shakes his head. Not to me, it's not! He says and she looks up at him. Then what is? She asks, annoyed and he shrugs, uncaring. Not this! He shouts and she looks away, frustrated. I'm gonna get a drink...He says and she turns to look at him...you wanted to dance...knock yourself out! He says as he brushes past her, heading towards the bar on the far side of the club.
He leans against the bar and asks for a beer, the bartender grabs a beer and pops off the top, handing it to him. Jason takes it and sits down at the bar, taking a long drink of the ice cold, dark liquid then turning around to face the dance floor where people were dancing. They weren't really dancing, hell there wasn't room to dance...partners were pressed together, hands roaming, groping everywhere as their bodies rubbed, grinded against one another. His eyes search the floor of tangled limbs, not looking for anyone in particular...when he sees her. Her hips moving to the rhythm of the music, her body moving in sync with the strong thuds of the bass and her hair spilling down over her shoulders, dark silky strands, glistening in the lights...tinted with colors in time with the strobe lights. His eyes take in her petite figure...the navy blue, denim mini skirt and the black, fitted halter top. His gaze falters on her bare back...the amount of bare skin visible enough to unnerve him...flawless and golden, he still remembers how soft and smooth it felt under his fingertips. His eyes trail lower, pausing over the curve of her cute behind then lower to her long, slender legs...more skin, the skirt stopped mid thigh and showed off her great legs. He licks his suddenly dry lips, absently as his gaze skims down her legs to her 3' heels and he wonders how she is able to dance in them, let alone stay upright. Her back was to him, but he'd know her anywhere...those legs, that body, that hair even though it was longer now...he should know, he'd spent hours committing them to memory...spent hours learning each perfect curve, each delicious inch of her. Robin...she was back, she was here and she was as beautiful as ever.
It's then he notices who she's with...Brenda. And it all starts to make sense, Robin came home for Brenda...and Brenda must have dragged her out here...all in the name of fun. Brenda hadn't been home more than a few weeks and already Port Charles had been a buzz...not to mention that she had practically turned Sonny's world upside-down. At the moment, he and Sonny weren't her favorite people, not that he ever was but he really couldn't blame her...Brenda had always been loyal to one person and that was Robin. So when she had learned of what had happened to turn Sonny against Robin...when she found out about what had broken him and Robin up in the first place...to say that she'd given them a piece of her mind, would be an understatement. And to say that Brenda back from the dead didn't cause a few ripples...hell the aftershocks were still being felt all over town. Brenda was back...and now it seemed so was Robin and for the life of him, he couldn't bear to take his eyes off her. The 2 of them were dancing together, laughing and smiling...and obviously, Robin was having more fun than he was. He watches as Robin turns around and he suddenly panics, afraid that she'd notice him, but then realizes her eyes were closed, lost in the music. He watches her lick her lips, wetting them as she mouths along with the words to the song...tell me, how much for your love? She was a great dancer, something that wasn't all that new to him...he used to love to watch her dance. She used to somehow always get him to dance with her...although he wasn't any good at it and he really didn't care for it too much. Somehow, he didn't mind it as much when he was dancing with her...somehow she actually got him to have fun doing something he'd much rather watch her do instead. He was seemingly hypnotized by her movements...each seductive shift of her hips...each tilt, turn of her head...each time her hair swept past her bare shoulders...each tantalizing brush of her hand against her body. And he found himself wishing he was with her on the dance floor...with his hands holding her hips, feeling her body move against his and touching her heated skin with his fingertips. His eyes roam her face, her cheeks were flushed...no doubt from the heat...the place had too many people inside and not enough windows...her skin was glowing, her light make up shimmering in the lights...she looked incredible.
She raises her arms above her head as she continues to dance, her hair falling in front of her face until she pushes it back with her hands. She was completely unaware of what was happening around her or of the unwanted attention she was attracting from some of the guys around her. However, Jason did notice and he didn't like it...he spots Brenda dancing with some guy, someone he's sure she just picked up. Jason takes a sip of his beer, his eyes trained on Robin watching her with predatory stillness then stands up, abruptly when he sees one of the guys move to approach her. Jason slams his drink on the bar and purposefully walks over to Robin, weaving through the crowd, ready to rip the guys arm off if he so much as touches her. Before the guy can do anything, Jason grabs his shoulder and jerks him back, roughly. His cold, steel blue eyes bore down into the startled face of a guy that couldn't be much older than 21...Jason literally towered over him with his height and size. He couldn't believe it...this punk thought he actually had a chance with Robin. Hey man...what's your problem? He asks, angrily and Jason just stares down at him, unblinking. My problem? Jason asks as he glares at him. Right now...it's you. Jason says, clearly intimidating the young man. Hey look- The young man begins when Jason cuts him off, shaking his head. Why don't you get out of here...believe me shes not interested. Jason says, practically daring the guy to give him an excuse to hit him. Jason just smirks as he watches the young man back off and walk away then he notices Robin, no longer dancing...but standing and staring at him in shock. He turns around to face her, not exactly sure what she was thinking...if she was angry or grateful or just plain surprised to see him standing in front of her. They just stand like that in the middle of the crowded dance floor, looking back at each other...completely oblivious to the other people around them, who continued to dance...even the music seemed to fade into the background...in that moment it was only them.
He looked the same, black jeans and black t-shirt fitted to his obviously muscular torso, taking note that his trademark leather jacket was not part of his attire tonight. The shirt he wore couldn't hide the fact that to this day he still had one of the sexiest chests she had ever seen. And she couldn't deny the fact that the way his shirt clung to his broad shoulders and bulging biceps still got to her...almost as much as the look in those incredible blue eyes of his did. He had a day old scruff and his hair was longer, but he'd pushed it back off his face so it wouldn't fall in front of his eyes...she always liked his hair shorter with a lot less gel. And he looked tired, worn down but even that couldn't hide how beautiful he truly was...chiseled jaw, full lips and ridiculously long eyelashes. All that was sexy and alluring...all that was masculine and virile...was all that Jason was, he emitted it. His eyes practically dance with amusement as he watches her take him in...studying every feature, each detail...noting the things that had changed and the things that hadn't. He'd already done his own inspection to know that she was still the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Dark hair and dark soulful eyes that still had the ability to draw him in...drown him in their outward honesty and trust...she hid nothing, even now he could still see into her soul. She hadn't changed much...still so much like the Robin he'd first fallen in love with...but he knew that on the inside she was different. He'd known the moment he'd spied her on the dance floor...the way she danced, the way she moved...confident and sure, yet at the same time still innocent and pure...by no means was she a seductress or a temptress, but in those short moments she'd managed to seduce him and a few others who had also become captivated by her. The 2 had yet to speak, but already so much was being communicated just through their eyes...so much more than words could possibly say.
Just as shes about to say something, she loses her balance when an overzealous pair collides into her, pushing her into Jason's arms as he steps forward to steady her. His hands grasp her waist as hers cling to his arms, her fingers curling into hard muscle. He helps her regain her balance and their bodies brush against one another teasingly as her eyes hesitantly look up into his while he gazes down into hers. He had yet to let go of his hold on her and she had fully expected him too, but instead she feels him pull her closer and she drops her eyes, uncomfortable under his stare. Dark strands of hair carelessly fall forward, hiding the deep blush that was now upon her cheeks and it is then that she feels the gentle brush of his fingers against her forehead. He carefully pushes back the offending strands of hair, tucking them behind her ear...like he had done so many times before in the past. That simple touch had left her skin tingling...left every single nerve standing on end, suddenly all the more acute to the mere nearness of him. She didn't need to be told that this was wrong, that all that she knew to be sane and rational was suddenly being annihilated with a simple brush of a hand. She refuses to look back up into those eyes, those eyes that could bring her entire world as she knew it, crashing down at her feet. Jason, on the other hand, had long given up on all that was rational and sane...he'd long given up on making sense of what he was doing and what he was feeling. He didn't care, all he knew was that for the first time in years he felt alive. His heart was beating way too fast for it to be humanly possible and he didn't think he was even breathing anymore, but everything inside of him felt like it was just waking up...as if he was coming out of a deep sleep. Maybe that's what he had been doing...sleeping all this time...dead to the world, unfeeling and uncaring...lost, left searching for a way out of the darkness. And now...now he was suddenly aware of the slightest stimuli, the littlest thing...now there was light and he was finally finding his way home...now he was alive.
He watches as she simply stares down and he wonders what she was thinking, wonders if she felt the same. He leans forward, his head bent next to hers...so close that he could feel the soft brush of her hair against his cheek and smell the scent of her shampoo...and the absolutely intoxicating scent of her perfume...and he just wanted to breathe her in, drown in her...to be consumed by her soul and by her very being. He could feel her warm breath on his neck and feel the heat of her body through the thin layer of his shirt. And his eyes close as he licks his lips...his senses going crazy, into overdrive with need and want...buried feelings and memories were resurfacing and causing a whirlwind of emotions inside of him. Years of fighting and denying was being unraveled in a matter of mere seconds and he wonders if she knew. If she knew what she was doing...that she was literally tearing down every wall, every barrier he'd put up over the years to protect himself from this very thing...and here she was undoing it all without the slightest bit of effort. Robin felt like she had been drugged...by the familiar scent of him and his aftershave...by his steady breathing and the pounding of his heart that was keeping time with hers. The feeling of his hands on her waist was strong, yet gentle...and she can feel herself melting in his arms, letting go and just succumbing to what felt oh so right, but what she knew to be wrong. If only she was stronger...strong enough to pull away, to stop this from happening...to turn around and walk away without looking back, but at the moment she couldn't even move. She vaguely wonders where Brenda was...she was supposed to be keeping her from this, keeping her from making another monumental mistake...although she had to admit that this didn't feel like a mistake at all.
His hands trail up her back, making contact with soft, warm skin and she can't help but sigh...it seemed as if she'd waited forever for his touch. She can feel his warm breath on the side of her neck, hovering just below her ear as he moves towards her mouth. She knew what was coming and she knew that it was wrong, but for the life of her...she couldn't stop it from happening, it was out of her control. Neither was thinking clearly, their heads had long given up the fight...no longer were they listening instead following their hearts wherever it may lead them. And it seemed that destiny was always the same...from the very beginning their hearts had lead them to each other...no matter how hard they fought it or denied it...their destiny was the same. His mouth hovers over hers, just a breath away, anticipating the moment they would meet...and just as his lips are about to brush against hers...she is pulled out of his grasp, abruptly. And he comes face to face with a livid Brenda...the lust induced fog begins to lift as he glares at her, not exactly thrilled to see her either. What the hell do you think you're doing?! She shouts and he had no problem hearing over the loud music. I thought I made it clear the first time...stay away from the people I love! She shouts and Jason just stares at her, not saying anything. I don't want you or your employer anywhere near Robin while shes in town...cause I swear, Jason...She pauses, dead serious...you hurt her and I will hurt you 10 times worse. She says, his face remains emotionless. Make sure you pass that onto Sonny too. She says and with one last look of pure hatred she grabs Robins hand and drags her out of the club as he just watches. Robin glances back at him and their eyes meet for a brief second before he loses sight of her in the crowd.
In all the years, he couldn't forget her and hating her was impossible...but loving her...that came naturally...that was like breathing. And now he was...breathing and his heart beating...he was living because of her...because she existed in the world, he understood that now. And now he wondered...at what cost had his poor choices and foolish pride come at...and had it cost him her love?...and if so, how much would it cost him to have it back? That's the one thought that runs through his mind as he stands in the middle of the crowded dance floor, staring off in the direction Robin disappeared in.
Jason walks down the hall on the 7th floor of General Hospital. He spent too much time in this place, more than he should, more than he cared to. It just seemed that he couldn't get away and maybe that was the price he paid for being who he is and doing the job that he did. People got hurt around him, people ended up in hospitals and sometimes people got in the way, got themselves into situations that they should never have gotten involved in, in the first place. That's why Zander Smith was here because he couldn't seem to stay out of things that didn't concern him. He got in over his head and it landed him at GH with a couple broken ribs and his face pretty badly messed up. He was lucky, they could have finished him off...Jason knew that Alcazar was ruthless enough, but for some reason he spared him and Jason wanted to know why. He'd wanted to talk to Zander, but when he arrived at his room he was surprised to find Liz sitting by a sleeping Zander's bedside. It didn't bother him as much as he thought it would...after all, they weren't together anymore, he was the one who ended it nearly a month ago, about a week after that night at the club. After that night, nothing was the same and no matter how hard he tried to forget about what almost happened...he just couldn't. She was constantly on his mind...in the day, she consumed his every thought and at night, she haunted his dreams. He could tell Liz had noticed the change in him, he was trying so hard, too hard to make it work...and one night when he was tired of feeling that familiar ache in his heart, that empty feeling inside of his soul...when he just wanted to feel something else for a change, he turned to Liz. He knew she was ready, he was the one who was holding back, who would pull away when things got too intense between them, but this time he didn't.
He still remembers that moment...they were kissing on the couch in his penthouse and his shirt was already off and hers was halfway there...he tried to lose himself, he tried not to think about how her kisses didn't taste the same, that her touch wasn't as soft or that her perfume didn't smell as sweet. He tried to block it out, to keep himself from comparing the 2...one whom he cared for and believed could one day love...and the other, whom he once did love and still loved to this day...and it was then, in the midst of their lovemaking that he realized that he was wishing she was someone else. Another brunette, another young girl but from another time...only her hair darker and her eyes, deep and soulful. He told Liz that he couldn't do it and she had misunderstood, thinking he meant sex, but in fact what he meant was...everything. He couldn't lie and he couldn't pretend...he couldn't deny it or fight it anymore. He still remembers the look of complete devastation on her face, the tears that filled her eyes and he knew she was thinking it, even though she didn't say it because it was the same thing he was thinking...he still loved her...he was still in love with Robin. Even now when he thinks back to that night, he wonders why he didn't feel more when she walked out that door...why he felt more remorseful for hurting her than heartbroken that it was over. It was the same now, seeing her with Zander just moments before...he should've felt something, hurt, jealousy, anger...but there was nothing and he wonders if what he felt for Liz ever went beyond deep concern and caring...he once thought it did, maybe he was wrong, maybe he was mistaken...maybe he was just lying to himself, deluding himself into believing that he could ever replace her or stop loving her.
He walks over to the elevators, pushing the button, impatiently. He stares down at the ground, lost in thought when he hears the doors open...he looks up and his heart skips a beat as he finds himself face to face with the very person solely responsible for turning his entire world upside-down.
Robin stands inside the elevator, a similarly surprised expression on her face. It had been nearly a month since that night at the club and aside from the occasional glimpse of him...at Kellys, at the Grille, at the park, usually with Liz...she hadn't really run into him until now. He looked good, standing there in his blue jeans, black shirt and customary black leather jacket. His hands stuffed in his jacket pockets and his mouth slightly agape as he looks back at her. He looked the same since they last saw each other, aside for the fact that he'd cut his hair, it was shorter now and styled slightly spiky in the front. And he looked less tired, less drained since that night at the club...although she couldn't help but notice that his beautiful blue eyes still lacked the sparkle they once possessed. The same eyes that once used to seem so alive, so full of life...now seemed worn and sad...what happened, when did it happen, was it somehow her fault? Her eyes drop from his face, unable to stand the thought of ever being responsible for putting that look in his eyes.
Jason watches as she looks away and yet he is unable to do the same, completely taken back at the mere sight of her. He swallows nervously as he steps into the elevator, never taking his eyes off her. He stands beside her as the doors close and the elevator begins to make it's decent down. He watches her out of the corner of his eye as her own gaze remains focused on the elevator doors ahead. She looked even more beautiful now than that fateful night at the club, dressed rather conservatively in a black skirt, the hem just reaching her knee and a crisp white button down shirt with the very top button undone. She had on a pair of strappy, 3" heels and had opted to leave her long dark hair down, parted down the middle and tucked behind her ear. The matching black blazer draped over her arm and her purse slung over her shoulder. Her makeup was very light, very natural...she looked very professional, very different from the way she was dressed at the club...but still beautiful. Still the same woman he fell in love with...the same pouty lips, pert nose and deep, soulful eyes. God, he missed her...the sound of her voice, the taste of her kiss, the feel of her body next to his at night...he missed everything about her. He missed being with her, being together, the way they used to be...the way they no longer were, the way they cannot be now...and perhaps can never be.
Robin tries to ignore that he's even standing there, that he's so close that she could smell the faint scent of his aftershave, that the entire time he hasn't taken his eyes off her...but it was slowly becoming impossible. The silence is deafening and the sheer closeness of him is maddening, the air around them in that small elevator seemingly electrically charged...they never could be so close to each other and pretend that the other didn't exist.
What? She asks, sighing loudly, her gaze still fixated in front of her. Nothing...I- nothing. He says, quickly looking away from her, silently chastising himself for staring at her so blatantly. He hesitates before turning to her again and this time she shifts her gaze to his, their eyes instantly locking. You look good. He says, saying the first thing off the top of his head. She looks down at her attire self-consciously, blushing slightly under Jason's gaze. I- I had an appointment with Alan. She explains and an alarmed expression comes across his face. Not that kind of appointment. She says quickly, easing his apprehension and he looks relieved. Oh. He says, lamely. How are you? I mean, you're okay, right? He asks, softly and she smiles slightly. Yeah I'm good...how about you? She asks and he gives her a look, a look she has a hard time reading. I'm okay. He says and she looks at him, strangely. Just okay? She asks and he smiles, slightly. Okay. He says and she nods, accepting his answer. She watches as his eyes drift to what shes wearing again and she smiles. I had an interview...I'm thinking of completing my residency at GH. She explains and he nods. Right, I heard you decided to stay...in Port Charles. He says and she looks at him, surprised. Brenda...Brenda came by to see Sonny the other day. He explains and it all becomes clear to Robin as she sighs. I wish she wouldn't do that...she doesn't need to- to go around protecting me. She says and he shrugs. Well...you know Brenda...she doesn't have anything better to do than meddle in other peoples lives. He says, cattily and Robin rolls her eyes as she looks away. Jason...She warns him and he sighs, hanging his head. I'm sorry, I know shes your friend...and shes very protective of the people she cares about...especially you. He says apologetically and she turns to look at him. I mean, she has every right to be...right? He asks and she doesn't say anything as they look at each other, silently as the seconds tick on. Look...about that night at the club...He begins and she shakes her head. Don't worry about it...it just happened, right? She says and he nods, hesitantly. You- you were just surprised to see me there...and that was the last place I expected to see you...we just, we weren't expecting it. She says and he doesn't say anything. Besides...nothing happened, right? She says and he just stares at her, knowing that she was lying, that she didn't really believe that...he could see it in her eyes. She looks back at him, unnerved by the way he was looking at her with those oh so honest blue eyes of his and she finds it hard to look away. You know, that's not true. He whispers. Yes it is, you're with Elizabeth now. She whispers, never breaking her gaze, watching as his eyes cloud over with confusion. How...who told you that? He asks. Brenda...and I've seen you with her a couple times. She says and he looks down. It's true, isn't it? That night at the club, you were with her...she was there...She says and he swallows hard. I'm sorry. He says and she looks at him, putting on a brave face even though her insides were in absolute turmoil, but she refused to cry. For what? You have nothing to be sorry about. I didn't expect you to wait around, just like you didn't expect me to come back. You moved on with your life...so did I...you fell in love...and I- She says, stopping in mid sentence when his head jerks up. He hadn't even thought of the possibility that she was with someone...that there was another man in her life, someone who held her at night and woke up next to her in the mornings...just the thought of it made his heart sick. And you have somebody in your life too. He says completing her sentence as if it just suddenly occurred to him. He meant it to be more of a statement then a question, but it was clear what he was asking. No...no, theres no one. She says, softly as she looks away, missing the look of complete relief that washes over his face. Liz and I broke up. He blurts out and she turns to look at him again, shocked. A week after... He explains and she knows he was going to say, a week after that night at the club. I'm sorry. She says, helplessly and he shakes his head. Don't be...it wouldn't have worked out. He says and she simply looks at him. I thought it could, I thought I could move on with her, I thought I could love her...and maybe if I wasn't- He stops abruptly when he realizes what he is about to say, admit for the first time in years. He looks into those soft brown eyes and he can't deny it any longer. If I wasn't still in love with you... He whispers and shes speechless, unsure of what to say...what she can possible say to that, so she simply looks up at him, dumbfounded.
Jason waits for Robin to acknowledge what he's just said, he watches as the full impact of his words hit her and he watches her fight the tears from pooling in her eyes. She wasn't expecting this and he knows that, he hadn't planned for any of this to happen, to say any of this especially here of all places. But he just couldn't go on pretending anymore, pretending that he'd forgotten her, pretending that he never thought about her, pretending that he didn't miss her or love her...acting as if she had never meant anything to him when the truth was she had meant everything...and still did. He looks down at her, wanting so much to hold her, but he resists.
I miss you so much...I never thought it was possible to miss anything or anyone as much as I miss you. He says, softly as he looks into her eyes. I thought it would get better with time, that the feeling would lessen, that it would go away but it hasn't...and I don't think it ever will...because I love you, Robin. And since the very beginning that has been the only thing that I have ever been sure of in my entire life. He says, watching as tears fill her eyes, his words affecting her deeply. No one has ever made me feel the way you do...not Carly, not Liz...no one, only you. And I've asked myself a hundred times why that is...why is it that you're the only one who can make me feel this way, make my heart ache so much and love so much all at the same time from just looking at you...and all I can come up with is...He pauses as he hesitantly raises his hand to touch her cheek, his fingertips grazing the side of her face tenderly. It's you...how can I not love you? He asks, rhetorically as he gently wipes away her tears before pulling his hand away. I mean, you're the reason why I can love at all. You taught me...and before there was anything else, anyone else, you were there...inside my heart. You're apart of me, you've always been apart of me...I can't forget that, I can't change that...it's just the way it is. He professes and she looks up at him tearfully. Jason...She whispers and he stops her. Wait just- just let me say this one last thing. He says and she nods. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, a lot of things that I've messed up along the way, but I never had regrets...I couldn't afford to. He pauses. I guess, I never really understood why people wasted their time thinking about the past, about the things they wish they could've done differently, about the things they could go back and change. I never did, I never looked back. I try not to because I can see what it does to Sonny...and I know he regrets a lot in his life about the choices he's made, about the people he's hurt, about the things he's done...and he has to live with that for the rest of his life...and I never wanted to live like that. Whats the point of looking back when you can't change anything. He says as he sighs. And then you came along and you changed all that because every time that I've hurt you, every time that I've made you cry, every time that I've caused you any pain...I've regretted it. And every single day that you've been away I've thought about how things might've been if I had done things differently, handled things better...maybe you wouldn't have left, maybe we'd still be together, maybe wed be married...He says as she looks down sadly, she once had those same dreams for them too. And if I could...if I could go back and change what happened, I would...I swear to you I would, but that's not possible and I have to live with that fact everyday of my life, everyday that you're gone...everyday that goes by and I don't have you with me. He says, his blue eyes pleading with hers to believe him, in his words.
Robin looks at him for a long time, his blue eyes filled with emotion...so much remorse and regret...and love, that was there too. She absently wipes at the tears on her cheeks, looking away for a brief second before returning her gaze to his, uncertainty and confusion clouding her deep brown eyes. Jason... She finally says. I- I don't know what you want me to say. She says, honestly and he looks back at her, his gaze unwavering. Nothing...you don't have to say anything. He says quietly as his eyes slowly drop to her perfect mouth. He takes as step towards, barely any space separating them now...his breathing slightly off and her heart beating erratically in her chest. Don't say anything. He whispers, almost inaudible.
He stares down at her soft, pink lips...he remembers how they felt pressed against his, supple and tender...he remembers how they tasted, oh so sweet. She can't take her eyes off of his, watching the intensity in them, the desire and the need mirrored in them. She tentatively lets her eyes trail down to focus on his lips and suddenly it's hard to breathe, her once clear state of mind, now muddled and confused. He closes his eyes for a brief moment, drowning in her scent, subtle and sweet, driving his senses into a frenzy...letting his body feel the heat radiating off of hers, absorbing into his. His hands itch to touch her, hold her in his arms, feel her petite frame crushed against his strong hard one...it had been so long. She could feel his breath on her face, warm and minty, caressing her skin and causing her senses to tingle with awareness, sensitized to everything about him. She can see his erratic breaths, the uneven rise and fall of his chest, hypnotizing her. It surprises her that something so simple as him breathing could seduce her...she was falling again and she couldn't stop it...she didn't want to. He slowly raises one hand and then the other, cradling her face between them...a gesture that reflected the utmost love and devotion that was in his heart. His thumbs softly rub across her cheekbones, the softest skin he'd ever felt and the smoothest, like silk. Her eyes drift close at the familiar feeling of his touch, the oh so familiar caress...there was just something so endearing and beautiful about the way he would hold her face in his hands just before he was about to kiss her. It made her feel special and cherished, it spoke to heart on so many different levels and it made her feel loved in a way words could not express. It also made her insides quiver with the knowledge of what was to follow, anticipating the moment when his lips would finally touch hers and with that calm her fluttering heart and set her soul at ease...giving her a sense of peace like only he could do. He leans forward as she leans into him, his forehead brushing against hers as he tilts his head to avoid bumping noses and her head tilts up. His mouth hovers over hers and she can practically feel him, taste him as her lips part of their own accord and her breath halts in anticipation. His eyes drift close as he inches closer...his lips barely touch hers when the elevator chimes and the doors slide open on the ground floor, startling them out of their reverie. Robin pulls back instantly and Jason drops his hands from her face, but their eyes remain locked with the sudden realization of what was just about to happen.
Robin is the first to look away, silently berating herself for being so weak, so powerless when it came to him. He had some kind of hold over her, a kind of force that drew her to him each and every time, no matter how hard she fought it...in the end she was never strong enough. She wondered if he knew what he did to her, what he was capable of doing...one look into those absolutely breathtaking blue eyes and she lost the ability to speak, one gentle touch from those strong hands and she lost the will to fight...one tender kiss from those full, soft lips and she was his. It had taken just about everything inside her not to fall into his arms right then and there when he confessed he still loved her...the expression on his face, the look in his eyes, the sincerity of his words...they all tore at her heart and yet she had stayed strong...until he took that step. That one step towards her, closing the precious distance between him and her, the one thing that was separating them had been erased in that mere second...and with it went her restraint, all the barriers and walls she put up, the will and strength seemingly nonexistent...and surely if fate hadn't stepped in, she would have lost her heart in that moment...with that single kiss. All that she had worked for, worked towards...the life she had built, the plans she had made for the future, the dreams she still hoped would come true one day...all of it would have been for nothing. All the time and effort she put into moving on with her life, moving forward and forgetting about the past and all it's heartache and disappointments...all of it would've been lost. The truth was, she didn't want to go back, she didn't want to be back in that same awful place she was 4 years ago...not now, not when she was finally over it, finally...okay again. Her heart didn't ache anymore, the memories didn't come anymore, the pain was no longer as sharp...she was living again, breathing again...feeling again and she didn't want that to change, she wasn't ready for it to change...not yet.
Jason wonders what's going through her mind as he watches the myriad of emotions flicker across her face. He hadn't intended to kiss her or attempt to kiss her as the case may be...he never planned for it to happen...not even in the past, it always seemed to just...happen. Something about her just got to him, affected him so deeply unlike any other woman ever had and he simply had to kiss her, there was no stopping it. The way those deep brown eyes could see right through him, right through to his soul...the way the mere sight of her tears clinging to her long eyelashes could cause his heart to ache...the way her mouth looks, slightly pouty, so kissable...trembly, but strong. When he would look at her, he wanted to feel what she was feeling, he wanted to drown in her and breathe her in, he had told her this once and he still couldn't explain it. It's this indescribable feeling of wanting to be consumed in someone, in everything they are, in their very being...because that's what love is, what it feels like inside and it's the greatest feeling he's ever known, nothing compared to it and nothing compared to being loved by Robin. He can't remember the last time he felt like that, feeling whole and complete, his heart full and his soul free...he wanted to feel like that again. He wanted to stop hurting inside and he wanted to start feeling again, he wanted life to mean something again...the way it used to when she was a part of it. He wanted to stop feeling so alone and so lost, he wanted to stop feeling like something was missing in his life, a piece that just wasn't there anymore...the piece he was sure was her. He wanted to wakeup in the morning and see her beautiful face lying next to his on the pillow, he wanted go to sleep at night with her wrapped in his arms, he wanted his heart to beat again, and he wanted to feel alive again...the way she always made him feel. And in that brief moment that was theirs, he had, he had felt all those things and he wasn't ready to let go of that feeling...not yet.
Robin once again raises her eyes to his sadly...noting that he hadn't taken his eyes off her since and before he had the chance to pull her under their alluring spell again, she forces herself to walk out of the elevator, leaving Jason to watch after her. Jason watches as she walks away as fast as her feet can carry her in 3" heels. He stands there dumbfounded for a second and then suddenly comes out of his stupor when the doors begin to slide closed. He quickly braces his hand against them, stopping them from fully closing and walks out after Robin.
Robin...Jason calls out as he heads down the hall after her. Robin...would you just wait a second...He says as she continues to walk quickly through the hall. It doesn't take long for Jason to catch up to her, he gently grabs her arm to stop her, turning her around to face him. Robin...He breathes, looking down at her as her eyes remain fixated on the floor. Don't- She begins. Robin, I- He says and she cuts him off. Please don't...don't do this, Jason. She whispers sadly, her tone remorseful. Her eyes meeting with his, tears brimming in them, threatening to spill over, but stubbornly refuse to. I'm sorry. He whispers and she nods, knowingly. I know...so am I. She says, sadly and he doesn't understand. For what? He asks. For everything...I never meant to hurt you, I never wanted to lose you...She says, tearfully and he shakes his head. You could never lose me. He says and she smiles sadly. But I did. She says quietly and he looks down. I just couldn't live like that anymore...I couldn't lie anymore. She explains and he looks up, nodding. I know, I know...I don't blame you, not anymore. I couldn't understand back then, I was too hurt, too blind...too stupid- He says and she shakes her head. No...no, you just loved him so much. You wanted to be his father. She says and he sighs. But I wasn't, A.J was...Michaels his son and I was wrong, what I did was wrong. He says and she looks back at him. We were both wrong. She corrects and he shakes his head. It wasn't your fault, it was mine. I'm responsible for A.J losing his son, for never getting the chance to know him, for Carly getting away with it, with everything. I'm responsible for ruining everything between us. He says, emotionally. I wrecked everything and a day doesn't go by that I don't hate what my life has become. He says and she blinks causing tears to trickle down her cheeks. Jason...She begins and he interrupts her. Robin, you were the good thing in my life, you gave me everything good that I have inside, but it's not enough...without you, none of it matters to me. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore...what I'm living for...why I even care anymore...He pauses as he looks at her, the look on his face breaking her heart...you were the reason I cared...you made me want to live. He says as she smiles tearfully, remembering the first time he had said those exact same words to her and what her words to him were...you made me love my life. I love you, Robin and I need you with me. You don't know how hard I've tried to convince myself that I could go on without you, that I could forget you, that I could live without you...I can't, I don't want to because a life without you, living without you...it isn't even living. He says and she looks down, sadly. I know...me too...She says, quietly and then sighs as she looks up at him...but Jason, you did move on, we both did...and maybe things didn't workout with Elizabeth, but someday- She starts and he cuts her off, shaking his head adamantly. Never...she isn't you, she could never be you. He says and Robin looks away, painfully. You say that now...She says and once again Jason interrupts her. Always...He says, waiting for her to look at him and see that he's telling her the truth. I told you before...as long as I'm living, as long as I'm breathing and my hearts beating...I will always only want you, just that way. He says as he gently touches her chin, guiding her to look at him. He watches as tears slips from her eyes and he doesn't understand. What? He asks, concerned as she stares into his eyes, searching, seeking, finding the strength to say this. We loved each other and then we hurt each other. I mean, how is that possible...how is it possible to love someone so much and then cause them so much pain...that's not right, that's not how it's supposed to be...love isn't supposed to hurt like that. She says through her tears. I never thought I could make you so angry, I never thought there would come a day that you would hate me...She says, her voice trembling with emotion. I don't...I didn't, I could never hate you. I was just angry and hurt...He says and she looks up at him, painfully. You said you wanted me to leave...you said it would be easier if you never saw my face again...She says and his eyes well with tears. Robin, I wish I could take back those words...I would do it in a heartbeat, if I could. He says, pleadingly. But you can't...and I can't forget. We can't be together...were not right for each other. She says and he looks at her in disbelief. How can you say that...when you're the only thing in the world that makes sense to me...you, being with you, loving you...it's the only thing that feels right to me...inside. He says, emotionally. I don't want us to hurt each other. She says, tearfully. I don't want us to either...but it hurts more to be apart from you. He says, pausing. I don't want to hurt you...I only want to love you. He says, breathlessly as she looks up at him. And I...I can't. She whispers, remorsefully.
Robin stands in the same exact spot, staring in the direction Jason left in, unable to move just then. After all that was said and done, after all the tears, after all the heartache...nothing had changed, nothing had been gained nor lost. Both were left standing in the same place they began in with nothing but the sad truth staring them in the face. He had walked away, respecting her decision, never one to make it for her...like she knew he would, like he had always done. And although, her heart was breaking and the tears seemed never ending, she knew that eventually the hurting would stop and she would smile again...and so would he. It wasn't that she didn't miss him or think about him, she did, more than she wanted to...it wasn't that she didn't love him, she did, more than ever and although she had never come out and said it, she hoped that he knew...she still loved him, how could she not? Together they were beautiful and their love was powerful, simply incredible...but sometimes love isn't enough, it can't take away the memories of a shattered past or replace the pieces of a broken dream. But time can heal a broken heart and space can strengthen a bond...and if they're meant to be, one day they will be despite the best laid plans.
Robin wraps her long, black silk robe around her tightly, knotting the belt...ready for bed as she walks into the living room. She'd arrived home an hour ago after her shift at the hospital ended to find the power had gone out in her house. It was raining outside...a thunderstorm which wasn't too uncommon during the summer months in Port Charles...in fact, it was quite frequent and unfortunately so was fallen power lines. She looks around the room, candles were lit up everywhere causing a warm glow to permeate through the room. It was finally starting to feel like a home when only a month ago it was just a bunch of furniture and unpacked boxes...now everywhere she looked she saw something that said this was a home and not just a house...so much more than brick and concrete...more than just a place to sleep and eat, but a place to live. Pictures of family and friends littering the fireplace mantle...a painting hanging on the wall that she'd absolutely fallen in love with after attending an art exhibit in Paris...a crystal vase filled with a bouquet of fresh flowers...a bookcase filled with her books, some from her time in med school and others she'd just simply read in her spare time...just everything held a memory or a meaning. 3 months ago when she arrived in Port Charles, she never would have guessed that she would once again become a resident of this town...this town that would always be her home...this town that held so many memories, good and bad...this town which she ran from twice...this town that was still home to a man that she could never forget. And 3 months ago, seeing him again in that dark, smoky club after what seemed like forever...it only served to remind her that no matter how much pain and heartache she had gone through because of him...no matter how many times Brenda told her that she was better off without him, that she deserved better...no matter how long it took her to convince herself that she was over him, that she could live without him...the truth was...she still loved him. Nothing would ever change that one simple fact...nothing could compare to the way he made her heart beat uncontrollably when he looked at her...or the way he was able to steal her breath away when he touched her...or the way he made her feel when he had confessed he still loved her that day at the hospital. The day she had let him walk away without a word, too afraid to say what she knew was in her heart...too afraid to admit it, to say it out loud because then it would be real and there would be no going back.
Suddenly, the sound of thunder fills the inside of the small cottage, startling her out of her reverie. She turns to look at the window as lightening streaks across the dark sky and for brief moment the entire sky is lit up in a flash of light. Shes about to walk over and close the drapes when there is a knock at the door. She warily stares at it and then hesitantly walks over to it, carefully unlocking the door and opening it to find a very wet Jason standing on her doorstep. His leather jacket offering him little relief from the torrential downpour...his black t-shirt completely soaked, clinging to his chest...completely sexy. His disheveled, blonde streaked hair dripping wet, but all this didn't seem to bother him as he simply stands there...his hands stuffed in the pockets of his leather jacket as if finding him standing on her doorstep was an everyday occurrence. Her dark brown eyes meet with his deep blue ones for a brief second and he hides nothing...openly expressing everything he is feeling in that moment...allowing her to see the concern and deep caring, the strong desire and the undeniable love he felt for her. His gaze causally falls away from hers...now becoming focused on her attire or the lack thereof...only a simple black silk robe. It occurs to him that she had been headed to bed and coming here tonight was probably a mistake, but even that thought did nothing for him...did nothing to change the fact that the image before him was one that would be forever burned in his mind. The way her eyes and hair seemed to look even darker against the black color of the robe...the way the silk material skimmed over her lithe curves or the way it conformed to her petite form in all the right places...the way it revealed more skin than she was probably comfortable with, dipping slightly in the front and showing off her golden skin...and the way silk lay against her soft, flawless skin, teasingly...torturing him with only glimpses of her naked flesh that he was sure lay beneath. And only then does he become aware of her almost defensive stance or the way she was now clinging to the edges of the robe, holding them together. He immediately drops his eyes, looking down at the ground beneath his feet now...upset with himself for making her feel uncomfortable.
Jason...She whispers and he shifts his eyes to meet her gaze. What- what are you doing here? She asks and he only looks back at her, not sure what to tell her. God...look at you...you're soaked! She says and immediately grabs the front of his wet jacket, pulling him into the house. She closes the door and turns around, watching him as he looks around the living room...seemingly taking note of every single detail. He turns around with a slight smile on his face. It's nice...it's you. I like it. He says and she simply looks at him, trying to read him. Whats wrong? Somethings wrong, Jason...what is it? Tell me. She says and his gaze falters, he had known that he wouldn't be able to hide it...he never could pretend around her. I- I didn't know where else to go. He says, quietly as he looks down and hesitantly moves his jacket to the side, revealing his shirt stained in a dark, sticky substance. Oh God...you're bleeding! She says, her heart lurching at the sight of dark crimson substance. She rushes over to him and hesitantly reaches out a hand to touch him then quickly draws it back, all too self-conscious of her HIV status. I can't go to a hospital and...I think it needs to be looked at. He says, softly and she meets his gaze. Why- why can't you go to a hospital? She asks, afraid to know the answer, more afraid that she already knows and he simply looks at her, confirming her suspicions. Oh...She says, softly and looks down. He closes his eyes, knowing that she was disappointed in him...but that was his job, the more ugly part of what he did...the part that he knew she hated the most about the life he led. If- if you want me to leave...I'll leave. He says and she looks up at him. I probably shouldn't have come here anyway...this isn't your problem anymore and I never meant to drag you into this again. He says, regretfully. I'm sorry...I'll go. He whispers and begins to walk past her when she reaches for his hand, stopping him. No...She says and he glances down at his hand in hers and then hesitantly up at her. Don't...don't go. She says as her eyes meet with his. Are you sure? He asks, pausing. Because...I don't want to make you uncomfortable. And I'm sure it looks worse than it probably is. He says and she sighs. Well it looks pretty bad to me...so maybe you should let me take a look. She says and he smiles a little. Why don't you go sit down...and I'll just go- go get a few things...She says as she begins to head out of the room when he calls her name. Robin...He says and she turns around. Thank you. He says, sincerely and she smiles. I haven't done anything yet. She replies and he smiles back. Yes, you have. He says and she looks at him one last time before heading out of the room.
He walks around the room, wincing a little...he didn't want to let it show in front of Robin...that he was really hurting. A steady throbbing had set in now, his side aching from the knife wound and he was sure that the fact he rode his bike over didn't help any. He had been stupid and careless, he hadn't been paying attention and it was too late when he realized that he had been cornered. He sighs, heavily as he walks over to the fireplace...looking at the pictures that were displayed on the mantle. One by one he studies them...the people in them...some of her family and others of her friends however, none of him or Sonny and he hadn't expected there to be any either. He picks up one of the framed pictures, it was from graduation day...the day she graduated from the Sorbonne. She was dressed in a royal blue colored cap and gown, standing between 2 other girls and a guy and he could only assume that they were her friends. He traces over her image with his fingertips, wishing that he could have been there to see her walk up on stage and receive her diploma. He sighs and puts it back on the mantle...he'd missed out on so much of her life...so much that he hadn't been a part of...all those important moments in her life that he never got to share in...all the time he'd wasted. He looks around the room and it's filled with everything that ever meant anything to Robin, everything she valued...and the whole house is her, who she is...inside and out and he feels guilty for coming here. He feels guilty for invading her home, this place that was hers and only hers...this place that he didn't belong in, that he no longer had the right to be in. And guilty for intruding on her life, complicating it more with his problems and dragging her into his mess...into his life. He hangs his head as he runs a hand down the side of his face, frustrated with himself.
Robin walks into the living room, carrying a first aid kit and a towel and he looks up as she enters the room. She wordlessly walks over to him and puts the first aid kit and towel down on the coffee table. She watches as he carefully takes off his wet leather jacket, obviously even the simplest task proved to be painful for him. When he reaches for the hem of his t-shirt she stops him, laying a hand on his arm and his eyes dart to hers, questioningly. Let me...let me help you. She says, softly and he nods, accepting her help. She steps in front of him and tentatively reaches for the hem of his shirt then gently lifting it up, trying not to focus on fact that it was stained in his blood. At the first glimpse of his well defined stomach, the deep definition of his abdominal muscles...her breath catches...he was still so beautiful, so breathtakingly beautiful. She slowly eases the shirt up, revealing more of his incredibly muscular torso to her...she tries in vain not to stare, however she is helpless but to notice. Her gaze falters at the sight of his bare chest...chiseled muscle and bronzed skin...he was perfection...the most perfect male specimen if she ever saw one. He raises his arms, voluntarily as she pulls the shirt over his head and then removes it completely with his help. Their eyes meet, instantly and she knows that he had been completely aware of her lingering eyes...the way she was looking at him, the way she couldn't help herself, the way she was drawn to him. Once again her gaze drifts down and the wet, blood stained shirt, carelessly drops to the floor from her hand as for the first time she notices the sizable gash in his side. He was bleeding considerably, no wonder his shirt was covered with it...simply absorbing it, soaking it up. She grabs the towel, initially she had brought it so he could dry off, but now realizes that it was the least of his problems...first and foremost she needed to stop the bleeding. She gently presses it against his side, causing him to inhale sharply at the contact. She looks up at him, apologetically...her eyes filled with unshed tears...unable to understand why someone would ever want to harm him, hurt him intentionally.
We have to stop the bleeding...I- I have to put pressure on it. She says, regretfully and he nods, trying to ignore the searing pain ripping through his side. I know...it's okay. He reassures her, putting on a strong front for her. I know you're hurting...you don't have to hide it. You never have to pretend, Jason...not with me. She says and he looks down at her, knowing she was right. I know...I don't want you to be scared. He admits and she looks away, sadly then back up at him again. Too late...because I am scared...scared that you could have died tonight. She says and she was scared...scared that she could have lost him tonight...then where would she be. She pushes these thoughts away, focusing on him again...needing to concentrate on helping him. Cmon...sit down...you shouldn't be standing. She says and he looks at her sofa. I- I'll ruin it. He says and she shrugs. Don't worry about that right now...you need to sit down. She says and helps him move over to the couch, easing him down onto it. Their eyes meet once again...this time for only a brief second, but nonetheless it held the same intensity it always does.
He watches as she kneels in front of him between his knees...the insides of his jean clad legs brushing against her silk robe. He looks on as she leans forward to inspect his wound, hesitantly touching his abdomen. Her touch was so gentle, so soft...tentative, but he could drown in it, in the feeling of her hand on his skin, on his body...drown in the feelings she aroused inside of him from a single touch of her hand. He simply watches as she tenderly cleans his cut, obviously trying to be gentle and careful not to hurt him. And yet as he watches, it seemed that the pain had become nonexistent...the only thing he could feel was her touch. He dreamed of her touch...of her touching him and making him feel again...touching his heart and making it beat...touching his soul and making it hers. And if he were to close his eyes right now...then he could make believe that she was touching him the way she did in his dreams...the way she used to. But he doesn't...he doesn't close his eyes because he doesn't want to miss a thing...and having her this close to him again...he just wanted to watch her and feel her, but mostly just watch. He studies the expression on her face...so serious as her eyes remain focused on the task at hand...and she softly chews on her bottom lip in concentration. She was beautiful...her dark eyes and long eyelashes...the gentle slope of her nose...her soft, pink lips...and flawless skin...everything about her was beautiful, even without any make up. She was so close, he could smell her...the scent of her shampoo, it was still the same, like strawberries...the scent of her still drove him crazy, simply intoxicating, drugging and yet he wondered if she was wearing any perfume or if she just naturally smelled this sweet. And her hair...long, dark, silky strands...and his hands itched to touch them...feel them slip through his fingers or play with the ends, the way he used to when she would lay asleep in his arms. He could feel her breath on his skin, warm and drugging and he could see her breathing, steadily in and out...and he wonders how she could be so in control around him when he had seemingly forgotten how to breathe altogether. He watches as a few strands, carelessly fall in front of her eyes and without thinking twice he gently brushes them back, tucking them behind her ear and she looks up at him.
Sorry...old habit. He whispers as he pulls his hand away, silently berating himself. It's okay. She says, softly...finding it difficult to tear her eyes away just yet. You know, you don't have to do any of this...you don't owe me anything. He says, quietly as he looks into her eyes. And yet you let me into your home...and you're here helping me when you don't have to. When you have every right not to care about me...because I'm sure I've given you enough reasons not to. He says and she shakes her head, slowly. You know that's not true. She says as she looks at him in disbelief. I care about you. I care about you, Jason...I never stopped. She pauses. And you've given me every reason to- She stops abruptly, realizing what she was about to say, to admit to him. To what? He asks and she shakes her head. N-nothing...nothing. She says and he looks down, sadly. Jason...I'm always gonna care about you and worry about you. And just because were not together, it doesn't mean that you can't come to me if you need help, if you need someone, if you need a friend...She says and he looks away, his eyes avoiding hers. Friend? He asks in a half whisper, turning to look at her. Is that what we are now...friends? He asks, a hurt expression on his face as she looks up at him, uncertainly. Well maybe not friends exactly...She asks, softly as his eyes bore into hers. Then what exactly? He asks, softly and she doesn't know how to answer. Because you don't feel like a friend at all. Sonny, Mike, even Luke...they feel like friends, but you...you're more, you're more than that...you're everything. He says, quietly and she is at a loss for words. I don't think a friend is supposed to feel the way I feel about you...and I don't think a friend is supposed to make me feel the way you make me feel. He says, barely audible and she can feel her cheeks burning up under his scrutiny.
Her gaze falters, dropping down to rest on his cut that was now cleaned up and only needed to be bandaged. He was so lucky...the cut wasn't very deep, luckily the knife hadn't punctured any organs and the wound would heal with time and with the aid of stitches...but without it, it would take longer. And she knew that he would refuse to go to the hospital and there was little she could do to convince him...and she had a pretty good idea that he knew all this already which was why he came to her in the first place. He was so lucky, didn't he know? Didn't he know that life was a precious gift...didn't he know that being strong and healthy was a blessing...didn't he know that his existence was the reason she was living, breathing...alive. Tears form in her eyes and she quickly blinks them back as she reaches for some gauze and surgical tape. She bandages him up with unsteady hands, overwhelmed with the emotion swirling around her heart at the moment...the anger and sadness...the pain and hurt...the confusion and uncertainty...the longing and love. She watches the candlelight flicker across his bronzed skin...the soft light dancing over hills and valleys of taut, toned muscle and flesh...to this day having never seen any man more beautiful than him. He was like those sculptures carved out of marble and granite...he was chiseled perfection created from flesh and bone instead of rock and stone. She couldn't stop herself as her fingers moved to touch him of their own volition. The pads of her fingertips trace along smooth, hard muscle while she watches in quiet awe of the strength and power held within...held back with perfect control just beneath the surface. Her hand moves along the ridges of his abdomen, slowly inching up, making their way to his muscular chest...noting how smooth, flawless his skin is...the way his muscles contract involuntarily in response to her touch. Her hand stops, resting over his heart...feeling it beat beneath her palm, strong and healthy thuds...a little quick at the moment and she wonders if it's because of her. She shifts her eyes to look up at him, surprised to find his eyes closed instead...an expression of pleasure and pain, of sweet torture...reveling in it, lost in the feeling, in the moment. And it's then she becomes aware of her mistake, her body's betrayal...and as if she had touched fire, she quickly pulls her hand back, causing Jason's eyes to fly open...breaking the spell she'd cast over him in those few short moments.
I'm sorry. She apologizes, quietly...purposely avoiding his eyes. Don't be. He breathes, his voice soft and heady...her eyes shift up to meet his. I- I shouldn't have done that. She says, unnerved by his unwavering gaze. I didn't mind. He replies, quietly as his eyes bore into hers, right through to her soul. She reluctantly looks down, absently staring at the white square patch of gauze that was now taped to his side covering his cut. Who did this to you? She asks, raising her eyes to look at him and he doesn't say anything, clearly debating whether to tell her or not, deciding against it. It doesn't matter. He responds and she looks at him confused. He's in no position to do anything now. He says and she notices how his eyes become distant and void of any emotion. So...so that's why you couldn't go to a hospital...isn't it? She asks and he looks at her, his eyes instantly softening. You know what...don't answer that, it's none of my business. She says, stopping him before he could confirm or deny her question. And without warning she stands up, abruptly...taking a step back from him, turning to walk away when he quickly stands up, reaching for her. Robin- He stops short as a flash of pain rips through his side, unexpectedly and he doubles over, holding his side. Robin is instantly at his side, worry and concern all over her face when she notices that he's bleeding again...it slowly beginning to seep through the gauze bandage, staining it red. Jason...She says and he shakes his head. I'm okay...I just got up too quickly. He says, slowly straightening up. You have to be careful...you need stitches as it is but if you won't go to a hospital...then you have to rest and take care of yourself...you have to let your body heal. She says and he smirks a little, the pain slowly subsiding. Are those doctors orders? He asks, softly...attempting to lighten the mood and she tries not to smile, but is unable to resist. I'm not a doctor yet. She says, quietly...not needing to speak any louder than a whisper...they were standing so close, but not touching. You will be. He says, softly and she knows that he believes it. You're going to be a great doctor...I know you are. He whispers as his eyes drift down to focus on her lips and she finds herself holding her breath...in anticipation.
Jason shifts closer and then tentatively glances up into her eyes with uncertainty then dropping his eyes again before leaning in to kiss her. He half expected something to stop him, to interrupt them, to ruin the moment like the previous times he had attempted to kiss her, but surprisingly nothing did nor did she stop him. His lips touch hers, tentatively...oh so softly, barely touching and all breathing stops. It was like their very first kiss all over again and yet not exactly...he felt the same rush of excitement, the same breathless feeling...but there was familiarity too, knowing that this was right...he always knew. And to this day, no one could get to him, affect him the way she did, no one could touch his heart, touch the deepest part of his soul the way she did and no one...no one could ever make him feel, move him the way she did. His lips brush against hers once, twice and finally a third time before he presses his lips to hers as his hands come up to cradle her face with the utmost care. His lips move against her soft, supple lips, coaxing her into responding in turn...hesitantly she kisses him back, over and over their lips meet quickly turning from tender to passionate. She tasted sweet and he instantly became addicted to her taste, to the feeling of her lips against his, to the almost inaudible sounds she made in the back of her throat. It didn't take him long to become lost in the moment, lost in her...it never did.
Robin simply stands there, her hands hanging, motionless by her sides as she drowns in his kisses. Unable to do anything but comply, surrender to him...to his insistent mouth and commanding touch, to his sweet assault. Her insides in complete turmoil, her stomach doing massive summersaults and her heart fluttering as she is flooded with memories, times not so different from this one. Kisses that had stolen her breath away, left her speechless, scorched her soul...endless kisses in which time seemed to stop and the world around them ceased to exist. Her body responds of it's own accord, her mouth opening against the crushing force of his and in seconds his tongue invades her mouth. Her tongue slides against his insistently and her insides take a dive when she hears him groan in response, angling his head further as his tongue probes deeper into her mouth...searching, tasting and teasing. It had been so long, too long...and she'd missed his kisses...long, deep, drugging kisses and she missed the way he held her face in his hands...tender yet strong hands. She'd missed the way he made her feel like she was the most beautiful thing he ever saw, like she was the only one he wanted, would ever need...like he could never get enough even if he tried...he made her feel alive.
Jason's hands drop from her face, making their way down...his fingers brushing against the soft texture of her silk robe, stopping once they reach the belt. He continues to kiss her, hungrily and his hands begin to undo the bow...with one tug, her robe is left hanging open. He slips his hands inside the edges of the robe, coming to rest on her waist. His hands then begin to roam over her silk covered body, feeling her warm flesh beneath the thin material of her nightgown...causing his pulse to race and his body to react as only she could do. He gently pulls her towards him until their bodies touch, he feels her body tremble at the contact and he's sure that she can feel his body's natural response to her too. Silk covered flesh presses against hard, muscle as once again his hands move up this time becoming buried in her hair, clenching the dark, silky strands in his hands as he kisses her deeper...his tongue delving deeper and hearing her whimper, softly in response. He stops, abruptly, his breath catching and only then does he realize what he's doing, what he has done, the line he crossed over in those minutes. He had ventured into forbidden territory...indulged in a taste of heaven that was never his to experience.
His hands slip out of her hair and cup her face as he carefully tears his lips from hers, breathing hard and staring down at her pink, swollen...thoroughly kissed lips. Robin opens her eyes, simply standing there frozen, her arms hanging limp by her side and her mouth slightly agape as she attempts slow her racing pulse. I'm sorry. He whispers, hoarsely but she barely hears him only registers the loss of his touch, his hands drop from her face and her eyes stare tearfully at him as he backs away, swallowing with difficulty. He takes in her appearance, her cheeks a little flushed, her breathing labored and her dark eyes glassy, swimming in unshed tears. Her robe hangs open and her matching black silk nightgown peeked through the open edges. His mind tracks back to all the times he'd seen her like this before, in some sexy nightgown or lacy underwear that she always wore to bed. The nights he'd come home late to only find her in their bed already, the sheets thrown over her scantily clad body, knowing that she had been waiting up for him...and he could hardly wait to slide into bed next to her, to hold her in his arms and feel her skin against his, separated by but a few scraps of lace. However, the one she had on now, he'd never seen before...it was simple, loosely skimming over her lithe curves held up by 2 thin straps...the neckline dipping in the front, giving a modest glimpse of her breasts...the hem reaching just above her knees, showing off her slender, tanned long legs and bare feet and painted toenails. He tears his gaze away from her body and looks up into her eyes, painfully.
I never meant to...I'm sorry. He apologizes again as he agonizes at the sight of her eyes filled with tears...she blinks and the tears trickle down her cheeks. He shakes his head as he looks away, upset with himself. I shouldn't have done that. He says, softly and he turns to look at her again, staring at her tear stained cheeks, glistening in the candlelight. I never wanted to hurt you. He whispers, regretfully and she shakes her head. You didn't. She whispers and he shakes his head. You're crying...He says and she looks down. How does she explain that she wasn't crying because he hurt her, but because no matter how much she denied it or fought it, the truth was...she still loved him, he was still in her heart and he still possessed her soul. There would never be another, no one could take his place...not in the past 4 years and she doubted there would be in the next 4. How does she tell him that in that moment she realized that she would love him for the rest of her life, but she just couldn't be with him again. Too afraid...too afraid to be with him, too afraid to get her heart broken again...too afraid to one day lose him again. They both stand there in silence when suddenly the loud rumble of thunder resonates through the house, startling them out of their thoughts. Jason glances out the window and then back at Robin. I- I should go. He says and she looks up at him. No...She pauses...no, you should stay. It's raining and getting on your bike right now in your condition isn't going to help you get any better...She says and she can see that he's about to protest...besides it's dangerous...the roads are wet and I doubt you have a helmet...plus I know you, I know how you like to push it...and you're crazy if you think I'm gonna let you go out there and get in an accident. She says, seriously and he looks down and then back up. It'll be okay...I'll be careful. He says as he moves to grab his discarded wet shirt and she stops him, grabbing his arm. Stay. She says, quietly and he turns around looking into her soft brown eyes. I can't...I shouldn't...I shouldn't have come here in the first place. He says and she smiles, slightly. I'm glad you did. She says and he looks confused. Why? He asks, pausing. Why...this isn't your problem anymore...and I never should have involved you in something that's probably only gonna complicate your life...and you don't need that...you don't need me to mess up your life again. He says, sadly and she shakes her head, tearfully. Is that what you think? She asks and he looks at her. It's the truth. He says and she looks him in the eye. This isn't a problem...helping you, caring for you, worrying about you...I told you, I can't help it...and as far as messing up my life...for the longest time, you were the best part of it...the only part of it that I wish hadn't changed. She says, sincerely and he smiles, softly. Please stay. She says and he hesitates for a second before nodding. Okay, but just for the night. He says and she smiles. Just for the night. She repeats, looking up at him then picking up one of the candles sitting on the coffee table before tentatively reaching for his hand. He glances down at their joined hands and then back up at her, sharing a look before he follows her upstairs.
Upstairs Robin leads Jason into a room and he abruptly stops behind her. He looks around and realizes that it was her room and not a guest room. He looks around the large, spacious room...taking in everything in the dim light of the candles that were already lit up around the room. There were French doors that led out to a small balcony on one side of the room, a comfortable looking plush couch off to the side with a haphazardly folded quilt thrown over the arm. An oak finished desk in one corner, a couple books stacked in the corner, neatly and her laptop sat open on top. A dresser against another wall, a few things scattered on top...and he smirks at the sight of the small yellow post it notes stuck to the mirror. Her closet left open, the sliding doors pushed to one side...her clothes hung up...pants, shirts, sweaters...all neatly hanging. A large 4 poster king size bed occupied most of the room and he wondered why someone so small would need a bed of that size, he'd assume she'd only get lost in it. The bed, of course, was neatly made, her discarded green hospital scrubs lay atop along with her book bag and a pair of white sneakers lay on the plush carpeted floor by the bed. A book sat on her night stand beside the clock and lamp and a towel was hanging on the handle of the ensuite bathroom door that was left ajar. The room had Robin all over it, he could see her everywhere...sitting at the desk typing on her laptop, standing in front of the vanity and combing her hair, sleeping in the bed with the covers thrown over her head, only her hair peeking out from underneath. The room even had her scent, it was everywhere...he missed that...walking into a room and knowing she'd been there by simply smelling the light scent of her perfume in the air. He watches her as she crosses the room to the bed, picking up her hospital scrubs and book bag off of it.
Sorry about the mess. She says as she bends down and picks up her sneakers in her other hand, walking over to her closet to put them away. To anybody else it would have sounded absurd, the room was anything but messy...but Robin rarely left clothes lying on the bed or her shoes on the floor...he should know, she was always picking up after him when they used to live together. I haven't had the chance to clean up in here...it just seems I'm never here long enough, always at the hospital...and when I finally come home, I don't want to do anything but sleep. She says, turning around to face him and he smirks. But you love it. He says and she nods, smiling. I love it. She says and he nods, knowingly. Just as long as you're not pushing yourself too much. He says and she smiles, warmly...touched by his concern. She walks over to the bed and turns down the sheets. Unfortunately, my guest room is currently being used as a storage room...you can take my bed, I'll sleep on the couch. She says and he shakes his head. No...I'll take the couch. He says and she turns around to face him. Don't pull that chivalrous crap with me, it won't work. She says and he sighs. I can't take your bed. He says and she looks at him. Why? She asks and he looks down. Because...this is your room and that's your bed...you shouldn't have to give it up for me. He says and she walks over to him, causing him to look up. You would do it for me. She says, softly and he shakes his head, slightly. That's different. He says, quietly and she looks up into his eyes. How? She asks and he looks down when he can't come up with an answer. Exactly. She says, smiling...glad that she proved her point. So you'll take the bed and I'll take the couch...besides you need to rest, you need a good nights sleep...because despite what you may believe...She says, softly...ducking her head to his eye level, forcing him to look at her...you're not superman...you're human just like the rest of us. She whispers and his eyes meet with hers. Just remember to blow out the candles before you go to sleep. She reminds him and he nods. Are you sure you'll be okay? He asks and she nods. I'll be fine...She says then pauses. Good night, Jason. She says, quietly. Good night, Robin. He whispers and she tears her gaze away from him and heads out of the room. He sighs and then walks over to the balcony doors, staring out as the rain continues to pour down, the only sound coming from the rain hitting the glass.
Robin quietly enters her room, she hadn't been able to sleep...her mind occupied with thoughts of the man that was upstairs, asleep in her bed. She looks down at the shirt in her hand, his shirt that she'd washed so that he'd have something clean to wear in the morning. Her eyes adjust to the dark and her gaze is instantly drawn to the figure in the bed...he was lying on his back, the sheets covering him from waist down, leaving his abdomen and chest exposed...his one hand lay across his stomach and the other lay carelessly by his side. She quietly approaches him, simply staring down at him...watching him breathe in and out, steadily...in awe of how peaceful he looked just then. He always did in sleep...so at ease and so achingly beautiful that she has to resist the urge to touch him...to brush her fingers through his hair or trace her fingertips down his cheek. After a few more minutes, she tears herself away from him, positive that if she stayed any longer she would surely wake him up. She places his shirt at the foot of the bed where his jeans lay and then walks over to the oversized chair by the balcony doors. She slips off her robe then sinks down onto the plush cushions, pulling her legs up, curling them underneath her before grabbing the quilt off the arm and draping it over herself. She simply sits there in the dark, watching him sleep for rest of the night until finally she gives into exhaustion some time before dawn.
Jason shifts in bed, trying to turn onto his side but hindered by the ache in his side. He slowly opens his eyes and it takes him a second to realize where he is and then he begins to recall the events of last night. The sun was just starting to rise, the first rays of light shining though the balcony doors, creeping over him and he sighs as he closes his eyes again. He inhales deeply and instantly his senses are flooded with Robin...her perfume, her shampoo...it was all over the pillows and sheets. He simply lies there for a moment, drowning in her familiar scent, committing it to memory again, not that he ever forgot...that was impossible. He opens his eyes again and carefully sits up, wincing at the slight pain this caused. He looks down at the bandage, examining it a little and then sighing, frustrated with himself for screwing up. He throws the covers off and grabs his jeans from the foot of the bed, slipping them on over his boxers...standing up and zipping and buttoning them up. He then notices his shirt, neatly folded on the bed...he picks it up, it was no longer wet or covered in his blood...he realizes that Robin must have washed it. He pulls it on, haphazardly...not bothering to tuck it in then sits down on the bed to put his socks and shoes on. He sits there for a moment then turns his head to look out the balcony doors, but instead notices the figure asleep in the chair by the doors. He gets up and walks over, staring down at her...instantly taken by her beauty.
She was always beautiful, he always thought she was...but something about the way she looked just now...she seemed to surpass those other times. She looked angelic in sleep, a look of peace upon her face and a few errant strands of dark hair had fallen forward, but she seemed unaffected by it. Her head turned to the side, leaving her long neck exposed along with her bare shoulders and the top of her nightgown visible, the quilt covering her only coming up half way. She was so beautiful, so much it hurt to look at her...his heart literally ached. How did he lose sight of this, of her...of what she meant to him, of what they meant to each other. He leans down to pick her up...his face hovering over hers for a moment and he resists the urge to kiss her as he gently gathers her in his arms, the quilt still wrapped around her small frame. He makes his way over to the bed, ignoring his body's angry protests and despite the painful ache in his side he manages to set her down on the bed, gently. He softly brushes her hair back as his eyes search the flawless features of her face while she continued to sleep, soundly. I'm so sorry, Robin. He whispers. I'm so sorry...I never wanted to hurt you. I never thought it would be this way. I never thought wed end up like this...everyone else maybe, but not us. He says, softly...saying the things he hated to admit, but knew were true. I messed up and now all I can do is try to fix it, try to make it up to you the best way I know how...He pauses...and it's not enough, saying sorry isn't going to make everything okay again and saying I love you isn't going to make you love me back. I mean, how do you make up for hurting the one person you swore you'd never hurt? I don't know...He says, holding back tears...but no matter what happened in the past or what happens now, whether were together or apart, whether you feel the same way or not...I always will...He says, quietly...I love you. He says, his voice breaking with emotion. He brushes his lips against her forehead, careful not to wake her then pulls the quilt up higher around her. He takes one last look at her before turning and heading out of the room and downstairs, grabbing his jacket and heading out the front door, closing it behind him.
Upstairs, Robin lies in bed, her eyes now open, unshed tears brimming in her eyes...she hears the sound of Jason's motorcycle roar to a start outside. I love you, too. She whispers as she hears the bike pull away and speed off.
THE END