A/N Hey guys! Oh, how I've missed writing this story! I am very sorry for the lack of updates these last few months but life has really gotten in the way. I promise the updates won't take me as long anymore. Anyways, I really hope you guys checked out my new story To hate you is to love you. (If you haven't yet, please do!) I'm really excited about continuing that one, but my main priority is Star-Crossed. I was dying to get back to it (I have sooo many new ideas and twists for it) and hopefully I still have some readers out there that haven't given up on this story. Anyways on to the chapter…for my fellow Brathan lovers, I hope you're not disappointed for the lack of interaction between them in this chapter, although the chapter takes off the same night of the 'big break-up', but I promise there's more Brathan to come (trust me, I love those two too much to ever really give up on them) Please let me know what you guys think and I hope you guys like it.
Disclaimer (oh, wow I haven't put one of these on my other chapters). Sadly, I do not own One Tree Hill or it's characters.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! Best wishes!
"Brooke?" Jake prodded gently, leaning down so that he was eye level with the sobbing mess curled up on his couch. "What's wrong honey?" he asked, trying to keep his voice as soothing and calm as possible, despite the fact that a feeling of dread began to settle in the pit of his stomach.
He received no response, as she just continued to sob uncontrollably.
"Brooke?" he tried again, almost desperately, concern alive in his dark brown eyes as he regarded the beautiful girl in front of him. He'd brought her inside shortly after having found her outside, in an obvious state of despair. He'd been trying to soothe and calm her for the past half hour, unable to get anything out of her but the heart-wrenching sobs that seemed to reverbrate throughout the quiet house.
He brushed a few wet strands away from her eyes and he swallowed thickly, unable to stand the pain that seemed to radiate from her. He could almost feel it and it was almost more than he could handle.
"Do you want me to call Haley?" he asked softly, unsure of how else to handle this.
"No!" she responded forcefully, looking up at him for the first time. He pulled back, a little surprised by her sudden outburst and the almost harsh look in her eyes.
"Brooke? What happened?"
When she didn't respond and dissolved into tears again, he bit his lip and let out a deep breath. "It has to do with Nathan, doesn't it?" he asked, although it came out as more of a statement. It had to be about the handsome basketball captain. Because he could count the many times he'd seen her cry over his childhood best friend on one hand. Sure, he'd always sort of been in the background and he and Brooke weren't as close as they'd once been but he knew. He could tell when she came in late to school and she had on her trademark pretty purple Gucci sunglasses on, knowing she used those to hide the fact that she'd been crying or was hung over. He knew when he watched her smile and chatter in her usual bubbly manner during lunch and flirt with the basketball players all the while stealing hurt, angry looks at Nathan. He could tell at practice when she'd practically bite the head off any of the girls for no reason at all.
He could tell.
And he could tell right now, that he was the reason she was crying right now. Because there were only few things that could get to Brooke Davis so easily. And Nathan Scott was one of them.
She took a deep shaky breath, her gaze locking with his, "He slept with Rachel."
He inhaled sharply and shook his head, completely taken aback and feeling more than anger at that moment for the amount of pain Nathan had obviously inflicted on the beautiful brunette. Of course. He should've known. He'd always known Nathan Scott wasn't good enough for Brooke Davis. He'd always known that surely, he'd find a way to screw it up somehow.
"And Haley…"he trailed off, unsure of how the blonde fit into all of this.
"S-she…uh.." her voice trembled as she wiped the tears away from her face, "She knew about it and she didn't tell me!" she broke down again and he pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back in a comforting manner. Her entire body shook with the force of her sobs and she clinged to him tightly, almost making him exhale in pain. He was puzzled to say the least and many questions ran around in his head. The whole situations still seemed pretty sketchy, but he wasn't about to question her. Not when the pain was still so very fresh.
She would talk when she was ready. And for now, he would just hold her and let her cry. For as long as she needed him to.
"It's all in the kiss, in that special connection. And that feeling? It doesn't lie. That little melting sensation inside, that flutter in your heart, the crazy butterflies, the fireworks, that longing? It's real. And when you feel that? Then you'll truly know what it feels like to be alive."
Her sister Quinn had once told her that. Of course, she had been way too young to really understand or even care, but it now struck Haley how amazingly right she'd been.
After getting over the initial shock of Lucas's lips on hers, she sighed in contentment as her hands reached out and wound around his neck tightly. The butterflies had long ago taken flight and were swimming around freely in her stomach. Her heart was beating uncontrollably, and there was this strange sensation of dizziness, that, had she not been holding tightly on to him, she'd surely have fallen.
She'd never felt anything as fully as she did in that moment, in that kiss. She'd never felt more alive.
Lucas groaned softly as he deepened the kiss, pulling her flush against his body. His hand reached out to cup the smoothness of her cheek as his other hand tangled in her soft golden tresses, wanting that contact, needing to feel her as close as possible.
He understood in that moment, what his mom meant when she'd always tell him that one kiss can light your entire soul on fire, bring you completely to life.
Every breath, every heartbeat…he'd never been more fully aware. It all fell back to this moment. Right there, right then. The two of them. This was all that existed.
This was heaven. All he'd ever wanted.
"Lucas…" Haley breathed out, breaking the contact almost relunctantly. Her eyes fluttered open slowly as she tried to control the erratic beating of her heart.
"Shhh…" he whispered, resting his forehead against hers. "God, Haley you're so amazing. So beautiful…" he kissed her again softly. "You have no idea how much I've wanted this."
"What is this?" she whispered, licking her lips subtly, wanting to taste him again. There were so many different emotions rushing through her, but she couldn't ignore the sudden coldness she felt when his lips had left hers.
"This? It's all I've wanted." He replied softly, reaching down to interlace their fingers together. She could feel him trembling as he gently placed their interlocked hands over his heart. "You wanted to know how it feels?"
Feeling his erratic heartbeat, much like her own, she looked up into his beautiful blue eyes questioningly.
"You asked me earlier what it felt like to be in love, remember?" he replied quietly, brushing her hair away from her eyes tenderly.
"W-what?" she pulled back, suddenly feeling as if there wasn't enough air. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that..I think you're amazing and I want to be with you." he smiled, squeezing her hand softly. "I always have…and I guess I'm saying that..that I might just be in love with you Haley James." He finished, quiet conviction in his words.
She stared back at him in complete shock, "Y-you don't know what you're saying." She whispered, when she finally found her voice. "You can't mean that."
It was his turn to look surprised, and he quickly dropped her hand as if it had burned him. "I-I think we should go." He mumbled, brushing past her abruptly.
"Lucas, wait!"
"Haley, no it's cool all right?" he turned around, feeling like a complete idiot. "I'm sorry. Just..just forget it ever happened okay?"
Peyton drummed her fingers against the steering wheel a little impatiently as she watched Nathan make his way back towards the car.
They'd been driving around for about an hour and frankly she was starting to get annoyed. What in the world had she been thinking when she'd offered to be his personal chauffer for the night?
Oh, yeah. Something about drunk driving and innocent pedestrians, humanity in whole.
Whatever. She was fed up and ready to go home.
"Where to now Scott?" she asked, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice as she watched him jump back into the passenger seat. She almost wanted to laugh at the uncharacteristically forlorn expression he wore. And while she found it slightly amusing, she couldn't help but wonder what had happened between him and his long time girlfriend that could leave the usual arrogant ball player so dejected.
"Hell, I don't know." he muttered, letting his head fall back against the head rest. "I really thought she'd be here."
"Here?" she looked around the deserted park she was sure nobody frequented anymore. "This place is like dead."
He shot her a look, "Yeah, well it was our spot."
"What?"
"I said it was our spot." He repeated sharply.
"Your spot?" she shot him an incredulous look and this time she did laugh. "Aw, how sweet, Nathan Scott and Brooke Davis-" she cut off abruptly when she saw him flinch. "Sorry." She muttered, revving up the engine and heading back into the main road.
"Whatever. It's cool." he muttered, closing his eyes and leaning further into his seat as he thought of the significance that place held for him and Brooke. They had stumbled across it after driving around aimlessly after a game. They had been flirting and hooking up ever since the Charity ball at the country club, but that day he had asked her to be his girlfriend.
He'd been angry after the game when he'd seen her flirting with Tyler and he'd called her on it. She'd retorted that she wasn't anybody's property and that she could do whatever and whoever she wanted. She'd also reminded him that they weren't exclusive and that he was still messing around with Haley's older sister.
He couldn't argue with that. She was right, and it was only when he'd seen her smiling at Tyler that he realized that he didn't want her to be with anyone but him. He realized that he'd always liked her, even when they were kids and he wanted her to be his. Only his.
So he'd taken her by the hand and demanded that she leave with him. So she did, and they'd been driving around for about an hour, arguing over his behavior when they'd come across that particular spot on the outskirts of town and hidden from the main road.
It hadn't taken much to convince her to explore the place with him and soon they were lying out on the open field, making out passionately. It took him about an hour, to finally work up enough courage to ask her to be his girlfriend. He'd been nervous and she had giggled at him, knowing that Nathan Scott simply didn't do nervous. She'd found it extremely cute and had told him so once she'd accepted to be his girlfriend.
Needles to say, after that day they'd both become fond of that spot and would frequent it whenever they wanted to be alone, away from Tree Hill and the rest of the world.
"Y'know, I don't' know why you'd think she'd be here."Peyton spoke up, interrupting his thoughts. "I mean, whatever happened between the two of you, she was really upset. I'm sure the last place she'd want to be is somewhere that would remind her of you."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." He let out a deep breath, looking out his side of the window. The trees and the shops and everything that was familiar to them, whizzed by as they drove through the quiet streets of Tree Hill.
"Wait, where are you going?" he turned to look at her, when the familiar road came into view.
"Uh, back to the beach house." she replied dryly, shooting him a weird look. "Where else?"
"I can't go back there. Everyone saw when the shit hit the fan and I-"
"Huh." She cut him off, raising an eyebrow. "You didn't strike me as that type."
"What type?" he asked, almost defensively.
"The type that gave a crap what anyone thought."
He let out a deep breath, "Look, I don't all right? I just..I don't want to deal with any of it right now."
"Well I have to go back." She reminded him. "If you don't want to go back to the party just go home."
"Yeah, that isn't any better." He shook his head. "After all the shit my Dad gave me after the game, I don't want to deal with him tonight either. Anyways, why do you want to go back so badly? I thought you didn't like parties."
"My car's still there." She stated simply. "And so is Lucas."
"Fuck Lucas." He couldn't help but interject, his blue eyes darkening at just the mention of his so called brother.
Her mouth dropped open slightly and she glared at him, "Dude, what is your problem with him?"
"Don't even get me started." He warned, looking over at her. He was struck momentarily by a strange feeling as he watched her blonde curls flying around crazily with the wind. Even through his hazy state, he couldn't help but notice that she was truly a beautiful girl
"Then don't." she snapped, shooting him a warning look of her own. "Damn it Nathan, I don't care how you feel about him, but if I hear something like that from you again I swear…" she left her threat hanging in the air, "I just don't understand. How can you have such a strong dislike for someone you barely even know, let alone someone who shares your-"
"Well, its mutual isn't it?" he cut her off, rolling his eyes. "So don't give me the whole brother bullshit all right?"
She pressed her lips together, "Fine. But I don't care what you say, I'm still going back."
"Whatever." he shrugged carelessly. "I'll just take off when we get there."
"Uh-uh, well if you're not going home, then where are you going?"
"There's bar about 15 minutes from here. A little seedy, but eh what the hell? At least it's open all night."
"You're under age." She reminded him.
"Maybe I am." He pulled out his wallet. "But Dan Scott Junior isn't." he smirked, flashing her the obviously fake identification.
"Well at least you got the junior part right." She muttered and he glared at her and she went on before he could comment. "Okay, so that's your plan? Drink into the wee hours of the morning and get even more fucked up than what you already are?"
"Yeah, that's pretty much the idea."
"You're unbelievable you know that?" she exclaimed, pulling to an abrupt stop on the side of the road and killing the engine. "I mean, what was the whole point of me driving you around, if you're just going to go back out again and get even more wasted?"
"Chill, will you?" he scoffed, shaking his head. "Why do you even care?"
"I don't." she let out a breath, "But seriously, don't be an idiot. I know that's hard for you and all, but you can't drink and drive. It's just plain stupid."
"I don't need you preaching at me all right?"
"Dude, you're drunk enough." She gave him a firm look, "I'm dropping you off at your house."
He let out a laugh, "Are you seriously trying to tell me what to do?"
"Maybe someone needs to."
"I can take care of myself Sawyer." He scoffed, starting to get annoyed with the blonde. He reached across her and started up the engine again. "Besides, I already told you that I'm not going home tonight. Now, will you stop being such a drama queen and just go?"
"Drama queen?" she repeated, slightly offended. "You're an idiot y'know that? The least you could do is be at least a little appreciative that I'm trying to help you out-"
He rolled his eyes, "Look, all I want to do is get wasted as hell and forget this whole fucking night ever happened and you're standing in the way of that right now, so how exactly are you helping me out?"
"Okay, so I should just let you drink and drive and possibly hurt or even kill someone?" she stared at him in disbelief. "God, I knew you were a jackass but seriously, you take it to a whole different level."
"Geez, will you stop? Damn, if it'll get you off my back just drop me off at the damn bar and I'll take a cab home okay?" he rolled his eyes, wondering why in the hell he was bothering to argue with her about it. Usually he'd just tell whoever was getting on his case to fuck off and he'd do whatever he wanted anyway...so why was she any different and why was he letting her get away with it?
"That's not-" she paused, wondering why in the world she was making such a huge deal. "Okay, look…the whole point is for you to sober up, not get even more plastered. So if you don't want to go home, then fine. But I'm not dropping you off at some bar. You can crash at my place."
He couldn't stop the immediate smirk from appearing on his lips, "Damn Sawyer, if you just want to take me home to have your way with me, all you have to do is ask."
"Jackass.." she hissed, hitting him on the shoulder . "Y'know what? Forget it. I swear, you're fucking impossible! I'm not helping you out. I don't even care."
He chuckled, thinking to himself how cute she was when she was indignant, "So, then why the invitation sweetheart?"
She shot him a look of death, gripping the steering wheel fiercely, "Okay, first of all, don't call me sweetheart and it's not what you think or even what you may want it to be. I was just simply offering you a place to hang out for a while until you were sober enough to drive back, but if you're going to be pulling this shit with me then you can just-"
"Uh-huh, sure." He cut off her, sending a wink her way as his grin only grew bigger. "If that's the way you want to look at it."
"Why do I even bother with you?" she muttered, turning the car and heading in the opposite direction. "Look, you can crash for a little bit, because even I can take pity on a drunk idiot, but you cannot stay. I'm serious. Lucas will probably come over later and you just…you can't be there okay?"
"Late night rendezvous?" he couldn't help but tease. "Should I be jealous?"
She shot him another fierce look and he rolled his eyes, "Whatever you say okay? After all, we wouldn't want to upset Lucas or hurt his precious feelings right?" he couldn't keep the bitter tone out of his voice and she looked over at him, a warning look in her green eyes.
"Forget it." he mumbled, reaching over and fiddling with the stereo despite her protests. Well, if anything else this was certainly turning out to be an interesting night.
"Hey Brooke, I've got some of that special hot chocolate you like so much…" Jake trailed off as he walked back into the living room with a warm cup in his hand only to find Brooke completely passed out on the couch.
Sighing softly, he set the warm drink to the side and he went over to the brunette, picking her up gently in his arms.
Carrying her up the stairs quietly, he walked towards the master bedroom. He walked over to the queen sized bed and he set her set her down gently. He took off her shoes and propped a couple of pillows comfortingly behind her.
Pulling back, he sat next to her, staring at her in what he could only describe as slight awe. The moonlight was breaking through from the window and it was shining down softly on her delicate features.
"Brooke?" he called her name softly a couple of times and she didn't respond, lost in a deep slumber. He wrapped the plush comforter around her and brushed her hair away from her face.
"Look at you." he whispered, smiling softly."You're the most wasted I've ever seen you and you're a complete mess, but you're still the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."
"Maybe this is the only time I'll ever get to tell you this and I know you probably can't hear me but.." he paused, taking a deep breath. "But I love you Brooke Davis. I'm in love with you and I have been for a very, very long time. God, you're so beautiful and you're so strong. Stronger than you will ever know." he chuckled. "Kind of ironic that I'm telling you that right now huh? You're drunk off your ass right now because your dumb ass of a boyfriend cheated on you but..I also know tomorrow morning you're going to wake up and you're going to try to move past it all. Smile through the pain, and make everyone think that you're okay even though you and I will both know that it's not true. That it's all an act, because your heart's shattered into a million pieces." He reached out and his hand tenderly stroked her cheek. "I would do anything in the world not to see you hurt, not to see you so broken baby, because when you hurt..I hurt." Feeling tears building behind his eyes, he took another deep breath. "You are amazing Brooke Davis. The most beautiful and perfect girl in this world and Nathan is an idiot for hurting you the way he did. I know that if I ever had the chance..I would never do anything to hurt you. I've loved you forever and I know that I always will and I just…I just wanted to tell you that. Even if you'll never hear me. Even if you'll never know."
She stirred, a small smile appearing on her face and he froze slightly, thinking for a moment that she was waking up. "Nathan.." she whispered and his face fell.
Of course.
It took him a second to regain his composure and he leaned forward, planting a soft kiss on her forehead.
He walked out of the room, trying to make as little noise as possible and once he shut the door, he leaned up against it sighing deeply.
It was going to be a long night.
"Nice house." Nathan commented, as he followed Peyton into the living room. "I know you were super eager to get me here." He winked at her, "But are you sure you're parents aren't going to trip?"
She hesitated, and he missed the sad look that flashed across her face. "I'm sure." She replied, heading towards the kitchen and dropping his keys on the counter. "My dad's overseas, somewhere in the Pacific."
"What about your mom?"
"Do you want something to drink?" she offered, abruptly changing the subject. She really didn't want to get into that right now.
"Sure, thanks." He looked around and a grin lit up his face as he spotted the wine cabinet. "Sweet!" he started to walk over to it, but she stepped in front of him.
"I don't think so."
"What? Come on, one drink won't hurt."
"Yeah, I think you've had enough of those." She responded, dryly. She nudged him out of the kitchen and pointed to the living room. "There's the couch." That was all she said, before she turned around and started to head out.
"Wait, where you going?" He reached for her hand and pulled her back. It wasn't forceful, but the sudden move startled her and she slammed right into his chest.
She inhaled sharply and she looked up at him. "Upstairs. To change." She became aware of the warmth of his hand, still on hers and she shook him off, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.
"Why? I think you look fine just the way you are." he grinned, looking down at her attire appreciatively.
She glared at him and pushed him away from her, "Jackass.." she mumbled, turning so that he wouldn't see her blush.
He chuckled as he watched her storm up the stairs. Once she was out of sight, he walked over to the couch and slumped down on it, closing his eyes.
"How could you do this to me Nathan?" Brooke's tear-stained face flashed painfully in his mind and he opened his eyes, inhaling sharply.
He pulled out his phone and flipped it open, instantly smiling at the image of Brooke blowing him a kiss. She had taken that picture a while back and had insisted that he leave it as his wallpaper. Taking a deep breath, he dialed her familiar number for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, his heart pounding heavily in his chest and praying that she would pick up.
When it went straight to voicemail, he snapped it close. Fighting the sudden painful lump in his throat he quickly got up and headed towards the wine cabinet. Despite Peyton's protests earlier, he grabbed the first bottle he saw, not really caring what it was.
Untwisting the cap, he threw his head back and guzzled it down greedily, trying desperately to ignore the painful beating of his heart, and Brooke's painful words as they kept echoing in his mind. He'd meant it, what he'd said earlier to Peyton.
He just wanted to forget. Even if at least for one night.
15 minutes. That's all it takes to get from the river front to Haley's house and yet never had 15 minutes felt like an eternity.
Lucas sighed deeply as he tried desperately not to glance over at the beautiful blonde next to him. The tense silence was almost suffocating and it was killing him, but he refused to break it.
He'd finally told her, laid it all out for her. His every emotion and how she made him feel, how he felt about her. How he'd always felt about her.
And what did she do?
Told him he didn't know what he was talking about.
Inhaling painfully, he tried to block out the kiss that kept repeating in his mind's frame. He couldn't believe she'd shot him down, told him he couldn't possibly mean what he knew had always been in his heart.
He was a fool. A complete fool for expecting her to feel the same. He'd thought there was something between them. A connection. But maybe he'd been wrong. Or maybe he'd just fooled himself into believing that.
Whatever it was, it was obvious she didn't feel the same. Because although she'd responded to his kiss, her reaction to his confession, her silence now in the car as she too refused to speak to him?
Well, it spoke volumes and it said everything she hadn't yet voiced.
She just didn't feel the same.
"What's taking you so long Sawyer?" Nathan's voice startled her as she was slipping on her simple black AC DC t-shirt on. Tugging down on it, she turned around quickly and frowned as she watched him leaning against the door, an almost empty bottle of Sauvignon Blanc dangling from his hand.
"Didn't I tell you to leave the wine cabinet alone?" she reproached, unable to keep the annoyance out of her voice.
"Nice shirt." He smirked, ignoring her question. "You do know that we're in the 21st century right?"
She rolled her eyes, "Shut up. What do you know about music?" she muttered, watching him carefully as he stumbled a little unsteadily into her room.
"Oh, and you do?" he retorted, looking around her impressive wall to wall collection of records. "The Cure..Flaming Lips..Audio slave?" he scoffed, taking a long swig out of the bottle. "I didn't know you were into loser rock."
She glared at him and strode over to him, "Give me that." she hissed, snatching the bottle out of his hands and placing it on her dresser. "You are unbelievable you know that?"
He smirked, "So, I'm told. And speaking of…" he pointed to her webcam. "That a gift from Lucas? A little something to get off to at night maybe?"
"Yeah, very funny." She rolled her eyes. "I don't know how many times I've told you, me and Lucas are just friends. I'm beginning to think you're obsessed and frankly that's a little bit creepy."
"Oh, I'm not the one obsessed sweetheart." He smirked, going over to the other side of her room and looking at the various sketches and pictures on her wall, most of which were about a certain tall blonde boy. "Seriously, when are you going to admit you're like in love with the guy." He paused, noticing another sketch, taped near the top corner of the wall. It was of a tall dark-haired guy with a wicked grin. He was standing, looking ahead of him at the trademark Hollywood sign and there were cameras, clapperboards, lights and production signs floating around his head, as if they were thoughts. And off to the top corner, stood a curly blonde resembling Peyton watching him sadly, as if being left behind. "Or maybe not." he remarked, "Who's the heartthrob?" she just looked away and he walked over to her bed, grabbing the bottle of wine on his way. "Someone break your heart Sawyer?"
"Nope." She denied, pointing to the bottle of wine in his hand. "But someone obviously broke your heart."
His face fell slightly and he let out a deep breath. "She's not answering my calls." He muttered, taking another long sip of the sweet wine.
She sighed, feeling somewhat bad as she went to go sit next to him. She took the bottle away from him for the second time that night. "Well, this isn't going to help."
"You'd be surprised."
"Maybe it's not that bad." She offered.
He let out a laugh, although he really didn't find it funny. "Believe me, it is." He shook his head, "I'm an idiot."
"True." She replied automatically. "But then again, it doesn't take much does it?"
"Funny." He mumbled, taking the bottle back from her. "I've lost her." his eyes looked incredibly sad. "Maybe forever."
"Well, you know what they say. It's better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all."
He looked back at her incredulously and she winced. "Sorry. I guess that's what happens when you've known someone like Lucas your entire life. Every situation in life can be summed up to a philosophical quote from some dead poet."
He smiled slightly, "I know what you mean. Haley's always-" he cut off abruptly, frowning as he thought of his so-called life-long friend.
"Yeah, those two would be perfect for each other huh?" she smiled, thinking over Lucas's long time obsession with the blonde cheerleader.
"Sure." he scoffed, "If Lucas is a back-stabbing asshole too, then yeah I guess you can say they're perfect for each other."
The smile fell from her face, "What are you talking about?"
"Y'know she comes across as this sweet smart little good girl, but you don't know her." he started, his tone cryptic. "She has the nerve to blackmail me, someone she's known her entire life and calls one of her best friends." He said snarkily. "Funny, how that didn't seem to matter once her little boy toy came into the picture.."
"Wait, I'm confused. Just, what or who areyou talking about?"
"Haley…" he retorted, "She threatened to tell Brooke about me and Rachel unless I left that little punk alone." he took another swig of the bottle, "Fucking loser."
"Lucas?"
"Who else?"
"No, I meant Haley told you to.." she trailed off and she stared at him, when it all clicked together. "You are such a jerk."
"Me? Whatever, I'm not the one-"
"No, y'know what? I should've known.." she cut him off, glaring at him as she stood up from the bed. "When Lucas first mentioned it or whenever we were at practice and I noticed that you weren't laying into him all the time? I thought, well hey maybe Nathan Scott is not as much of a jackass as he comes across. Maybe he's finally leaving Lucas alone because he realized it was wrong and unfair and just plain immature." she shook her head and she let out a dry laugh. "But no. It was for your own damn selfish reasons."
"Peyton, it's-"
"What you are?" she cut him off, not yeat done. "Goes beyond being a jerk or a jackass. No, there's no word to describe you." she said bitingly. "And for someone who claims to love his girlfriend so much? You sure don't show for it. That's low, the worst thing you can do and I may not know Brooke but nobody, nobody deserves to be cheated on or lied to." she shook her head. "I hope she never forgives you, because guys like you don't deserve a second chance."
"Hey, you don't know the first thing about it all right?" he snapped, standing up so that they were face to face. "You don't know the first thing about me or even Brooke, so who the hell are you to go passing judgment huh?"
She stared at him, her eyes flashing angrily. "Okay, y'know what? Inviting you here was a really stupid idea, and you need to leave. I don't know where hell the sudden sympathy came from earlier but you don't deserve any of it because you're an ass. And I may have overlooked it a couple of times before or thought otherwise, but not anymore. I've never seen it more clearly." she turned on her heel, heading towards the door and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach and it had nothing to do with the ridiculous amount of alchohol he'd consumed that evening.
"Hey, hey Sawyer.." he called out to her, watching as she opened the door and watched him coldly. He sighed, and he walked over to her. "Look, I'm sorry okay?" he wasn't exactly sure why he felt the need to apologize to her but he couldn't help it.
She looked away from him, "Why do I have the feeling that you say that a lot?"
"Maybe because I do.." he shrugged, "I know I'm a jerk okay? And I do a lot of stupid things, things that hurt people, things that I regret and-"
"Like with Lucas and Brooke?" she challenged, staring at him straight in the eyes.
"I guess I just meant in general.." he frowned, "I'm not going to apologize for being an ass to your precious Lucas okay? That punk gets everything that's coming to him and if that's what you're angry at me for-"
"Of course you won't." she replied icily. "And I didn't expect you to, because you're too wrapped up in whatever b.s Dan feeds you to see that what you do to Lucas is wrong."
"Hey, leave my Dad out of this all right?" he shot back sharply.
"And what you did to Brooke? Do you feel any remorse in that?" she sneered. "No, you probably don't. But don't worry, I'm sure you won't have a problem finding some poor unsuspecting girl to fulfill your needs."
"Like you?" she glared at him and he looked away, sighing deeply. "I don't want just any girl. I want Brooke. I love her.." he admitted and she looked up at him, a little surprised at the earnest look in his blue eyes.
"If you love her, then why sleep with Rachel?" she questioned, a little apprehensive.
"It was a moment of weakness. Come on, don't you ever have one of those?"
"No."
"Are you sure?" he asked, his tone suddenly soft as his gaze fell to her soft pink lips.
"Yeah, I'm sure." she responded, feeling nervous at the way he was gazing at her.
"I don't believe you." he smiled, and he drew a bit closer to her until her back was pressed against the door. His hand came up to her cheek and he brushed a few curls behind her ear tenderly. She froze, and her breath hitched in her throat at the sudden gentle gesture.
She stared at him, unable to move and her eyes fluttered almost automatically as she felt him closing the space between them. Warning bells went off in her head and she knew she should pull away but she couldn't. As his lips hovered just above hers, the unmistakable scent of alchol penetratred through the sudden fog that had clouded her mind and she pushed him back forcefully. "Don't." she let out harshly, moving away from him. "You're drunk and you're upset about Brooke and you-you shouldn't have come here."
"You brought me here." he pointed out.
"Yeah, and that was...not a good idea." she turned her back to him, closing her eyes and exhaling. What was she doing? How did she ever let it go so far? For Pete's sake, she'd almost let him kiss her!
"I just..I don't understand you sometimes Sawyer."
She turned back to face him, "Well, you don't need to." she retorted, the sarcasm quickly back in place.
"Why do you do that?"
"What?" she crossed her arms in front of her defensively.
"That." he replied, making his way over to her. "The defense mechanism. The sarcasm."
"Well, maybe I'm just a girl, wrapped in a mystery inside a bitch."
"Or maybe, you're just a girl who's afraid of anyone getting too close."
Her heart began to beat heavily in her chest as he once again closed the space between them, from what she wasn't sure. Anger? Confusion? She didn't know anymore.
"You need to leave. I mean it." she pushed him away angrily and strode over to the door, "I'm getting you some coffee but then..then you need to leave."
Haley closed her eyes as she shut the front door of her house behind her. Sighing deeply, tiredly she leaned against it. That ride, with Lucas...had been agonizing. Never in her life had she felt more confused than she did at that moment. Why had she said that to him? No, why had he said what he did? Did he mean it? He couldn't possibly love her...could he? And what about her? Did she love him?
She couldn't, I mean she barely even knew him.
You just can't feel that deeply for someone that quickly right? It couldn't happen, the idea..it was insane.
So why did she feel this huge aching pain in her chest? Why did she feel this overwhelming feeling to cry?
And why did she feel as if she'd just majorly screwed up what might have been between her and the blonde basketball player?
"Haley?" a voice cut through to her thoughts and she straightned out, "Mom?"
Walking towards the living room, her face fell as she caught a glimpse of her mother sprawled out in the couch, an empty bottle of Bourbon next to her. "Mom.." she whispered, crouching down next to her. "Not again."
"Your father..." she slurred, struggling to open her eyes, "He..left. S-some business trip in New York." she let out a peal of laughter. "Like I don't know what that means!"
Haley closed her eyes, feeling the tears prickling behind her lids. "Mom...."
"When are you goint to open your eyes and see hunny-bunny.." she tried to sit up and failed to do so, slumping back on the couch. "He's w-with that-"she trailed off as her eyes slid back shut, passing out cold.
Haley pressed her lips together and felt a wave of sadness, anger and everything she'd been holding in all night come crashing down on her. Brooke and Nathan, her parents...Lucas...it was all just screwed up. Utterly and completely screwed up.
She completely broke down for the second time that night unable to take any more. Her sobs along with her mom's shallow breathing were the only sounds that filled the room and Haley had never felt so completely helpless...or alone.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me." Peyton muttered, coming back into the room with a steaming cup of coffee. Nathan was sprawled out all over her bed, completely out.
Setting the coffee to the side, she went over to him. "Nathan.." she hit him on the shoulder, "Hey, Nathan! Wake up!"
Still getting no response from him, she shoved him lightly, praying that he would wake.
No such luck. He wasn't budging and was completely passed out.
"Damn it!" she swore under breath, thinking what the hell was she supposed to do now?
Slight panic began to settle in the pit of her stomach and it only escalated when she heard the faint sound of her phone vibrating. She looked up quickly at the time and noted that it was almost 3. Shit. That could only be Lucas.
"Lucas? Hey what's up?"
"Peyton? Where the hell are you?" he demanded, "I just went to the beach house and I didn't see you anywhere."
Shit, shit shit. "Uh..hey Luke I'm sorry I meant to call you but I uh.." she shut her eyes, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. "I'm home already, I caught a ride with one of the guys from the team." Well at least it wasn't a complete lie. "Listen, I'm really tired and I-"
"Peyt? Are you okay?" he asked, a hint of worry in his voice. "You sound really weird, I'm on my way-"
"No!" she all but shouted, "No, no Luke it's okay really." she cleared her throat. "I'm okay, seriously I'm just really tired and I'll..I'll see you tomorrow okay?"
"Okay. Man, some night huh?" he let out a deep sigh on the other end. "I'll see you tomorrow Peyton. Good night. I love you."
"Love you too. Bye."
She clicked the phone and held it in her hands, grasping it tightly as she looked over at Nathan's sleeping form. Extreme guilt washed over, that and something else she didn't quite recognize.
What in the world had she gotten herself into?
Lucas was right, some night it had been. And from the looks of it..it was going to be a long one.
A/N Okay, so there was like way more to this when I first wrote it, but the chapter was getting extremely long, so I decided to break it off into 2 separate chapters, since I've already got most of it written, it should be up very soon. I promise :)Hope you guys liked it and don't forget to review!