Chapter 11: Not so Different

To be fair, Izuku probably should've expected this reaction. It's most definitely not normal to have the Symbol of Peace impale you with a grate. If Izuku had heard this come from someone else's mouth, he probably would've gone bugeyed.

So he guessed the League's reactions to the news was normal.

"He impaled you with a metal grate!?" Shigaraki yelled.

Dabi growled. "Who the hell impales a kid with a metal grate during training!? Sure it was finals, but still!"

"Izu-kun, you wouldn't mind if All Might bled just a little too much, right?" Toga asked while twiddling with her knife a little too animatedly.

"This is just unbecoming of the number one hero" Compress exclaimed.

Spinner grumbled. "And Stain said All Might was a true hero…"

"Hero or not, kids should not be getting impaled by a grate that could kill them!" Magne yelled out in frustration.

Izuku continued to watch on as the villains all voiced their complaints at what he had told them. He wasn't really expecting them to get to this level of angry though. No one really got angry for him before, so this was a whole new experience.

His classmates just always assumed he was fine. And for what? Because he put a smile on once. As soon as you did something, it was automatically expected of you. To be frank, it was getting harder and harder everyday to keep the fake smile plastered on his face.

It always felt like he was straining his facial features whenever he smiled as well. At this point, Izuku could fake a smile with ease. That was also kind of sad, but when you're stuck doing something for the entirety of your life, it kinda just sticks.

No matter how much you want it to go away, no matter how much you want to grind it into the dirt, it just won't go away. It would always be a permanent piece of you. As soon as it started, it was essentially over.

That's what Izuku hated the most. The fact that he could never get rid of the things he hated about himself even though he so desperately wanted to. It was always just out of his reach, just barely attainable. But whenever he got close, his classmates dragged him back down.

It sucked really, trying to live up to people's expectations. Izuku could guess that that's why so many people snapped. They were tired of society's expectations of them, and they wanted change. So, they stood up for it.

Granted, change never came. Even though it should've. It was blindingly obvious what was wrong with society. All you had to do was look a little closer, and then you would be able to see humanity's true colors.

How it's corrupted to the very bottom of its core, how it treats people deemed lesser than them, how it treats the so called 'villains'. Everything about it was wrong, so wrong. And Izuku hated that.

Why?

Because people probably wouldn't even notice the corruption even if it slapped them in the face. People were so oblivious, and that made Izuku wonder how human beings were even still alive. It was truly baffling how stupid human beings truly were. It peeved Izuku, but there wasn't really much he could think to do.

What could he even really do?

If he tried to voice his opinions as a hero, the commission would probably make a plan for his death. Send him on a suicide mission to be assassinated by the commissions assassins.

(Don't question how Izuku knew this, he just did.)

If he tried to voice his opinions as a villain, people wouldn't take him seriously. They would just call him crazy and call it a day.

If he tried to voice his opinion as a civilian, he would probably end up being berated by others. Criticized for even thinking about going against heroes.

No matter how Izuku looked at it, he always lost. He couldn't think of anything that could truly fix the corruption in their world. Sure, if the League succeeded in their goal to destroy heroes the hierarchy wouldn't be there anymore.

But then what?

What would happen afterwards? How would society rebuild itself from its destruction? What would the League do if they were to succeed?

There were so many questions, but not enough answers. There were never enough answers, no matter how hard Izuku tried to find them, he just couldn't. He was always stuck on an endless chase, trying to find something that probably didn't even exist.

He probably should've just given up a long time ago, but he just couldn't. When he thought about giving up, he thought about the people that could be in pain right now just like him. It panged his heart to think that other people could be hurting just as badly as him.

Izuku hated when other people were hurt, and that's why he was trying to figure out what to do. But he just couldn't. It was impossible. Or maybe it was just too tall of a task for a useless Deku like him.

It was probably just him. If someone else were to try, they would probably succeed. Izuku was just a failure, so of course he would fail, or just die trying.

Curse everything. Izuku hated it. Hated everything. Hated all of it.

He hated heroes

He hated villains

He hated the commission

He hated society

He hated discrimination

He hated himself

Ah, that was it, he hated himself. That's why he was just filled with hate hate hate-

"Midoriya, Midoriya"

Izuku blinked.

Had he been zoned out?

Izuku looked in front of him to see Dabi waving his hand in front of his face. Dabi seemed to be pretty concerned.

Why was he concerned? Did something happen? Did someone get hurt? Did someone-

"Oi Midoriya, kid, you still with us?"

Izuku blinked again.

He then realized that Dabi was still standing in front of him with a concerned look on his face. Wait a minute. Was that look of concern, for him? Why would Dabi be concerned for him? Wasn't he their enemy? Shouldn't they have kill-

Before Izuku could comprehend what was happening, both of Dabi's hands were holding his face straight to make sure he was staring into Dabi's eyes.

Dabi's hands are warm, he thought.

"Midoriya, look at me-"

Um, I am looking at you though?

"If you're gonna be super nice to us even though we're wanted criminals, then you could at least tell us if something's bothering you you know" Dabi said with a small smile.

Oh.

And oh. They were offering to listen to him. They were offering to listen to whatever was bothering him.

Izuku wasn't sure when it started, but he realized that he was crying. When was the last time he had let himself cry? He wasn't sure, but now that he was actually crying it felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. It felt so good to know that somebody cared, even if those somebodies were technically villains.

The next thing he knew, Izuku found himself wrapped in a hug from Dabi. Hesitantly, Izuku hugged back. And once he did, he let the waterworks fall full force, and just allowed himself to cry.

It had been so long since he had felt such a gentle embrace. It was refreshing, and Izuku just continued to melt into the touch.

Izuku felt safe. For the first time in his life, he truly felt safe. Why he felt safe in a bar full of villains, he didn't know. What he did know though, was that they had shown him more kindness than the heroes had ever given him.

They had never noticed when he was hurt. They had never noticed when he was zoning out or getting lost in his own head. But that was different with the League. Dabi seemed to immediately be able to tell when Izuku was stuck inside his own head.

And it felt comforting.

It felt comforting to know that someone could tell when he was in too deep, and he couldn't physically pull himself back out. Izuku briefly wondered why his friends couldn't tell that he was constantly in a state of distress.

But then he realized, most of them didn't know what it felt like to be hated by the world. Most of his classmates had powerful quirks, so they were probably constantly getting praised for it when they were younger. Sure, some of his classmates probably understood some of his pain, but they never saw it.

Izuku's pain was always there, hiding in the shadows, but no one seemed to notice. They were probably too busy thinking about his sunshine personality and smiles to really try and see what was brewing underneath the surface.

Something was always brewing underneath the surface, but it was up to the person to be aware of it. Izuku was heavily aware of it. He had always been aware of it ever since it started. Making sure that it never lashed out at everyone.

But now that Izuku thought about it, it probably wasn't a good idea to repress the important parts of his personality. Izuku had been doing it for so long though that he didn't particularly know how to stop anymore. Sometimes it was unsettling, but Izuku got through it, he always did. And that was all that mattered.

"You know, we're a lot more similar than I initially thought we would be kid" Dabi whispered in his ear.

Izuku let out a small huff. "I was mumbling wasn't I?"

"Yep," Dabi whispered back.

"Can I fall asleep?" Izuku questioned.

Dabi snorted. "Whatever you want kid"

As soon as Izuku got permission, he was out like a light. He hadn't truly been getting a healthy amount of sleep, so hopefully he would actually get a decent amount of sleep this time.

Izuku's last thoughts were,

Not so different, huh?