Chris: Last time on total drama island. The teams merged and it became every camper for themselves, but they paired up to go and collect me some cassowary eggs. Julia thought she won immunity, but Ripper had already beaten her to it. Chase and Priya hooked up and Emma wasn't happy about it in the slightest. Wayne and Raj were too injured to continue, and were both forced to leave the island. I hope no one gets hurt today. (Laughs) My fingers were crossed! Now let's do this, here on TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND!
(Intro)
(Ripper, Damien and Zee enter the dining hall where Chase is cheering)
Ripper: What's got you all chuffed?
Chase: Ripper, my friend, a gentleman never kisses and tells, but that's exactly what happened. Priya and I had a humongous makeout sesh yesterday. (Squeaks)
Damien: Dang! Get it boy! (Fists bumps with Chase)
Ripper: Yeah, fair play to ya for getting a babe like Priya.
Zee: Whoa! Does that mean Chase wins the bet has with Wayne?
Damien: What bet?
Zee: The bet they made at the beginning of season. Whoever could get a girlfriend first wins twenty bucks.
Damien: (Looks at Chase) You hooked up with Priya for bet?
Chase: Bro, that bet was made back when I was trying to get back with Emma, but I got over her and ended up falling for Priya.
(Julia was outside the dining hall listening to every word that was being said)
Julia: (Confessional) (Gasps) So Chase and Wayne had bet on who could get a girlfriend first? Oh,oh,oh. Wait till Emma and Priya find out about this.
Emma: Is there a reason you're hiding outside the dining hall?
Julia: Oh, Emma. So glad to see you. There's something we need to talk about. (Takes Emma away from the dining hall)
(Priya enters the dining hall)
Chase: Hey, babe.
Priya: Hey Cha-(Chase kisses Priya before she could finish who a few seconds later kisses back)
MK: (Walks in and sees Chase and Priya kissing) Get a room love inslanders, this is wrong island for you two to be playing tonsil hockey.
(Ripper, Zee and Damien couldn't help but laugh at MK's comment as Chase and Priya's faces turned red with embarrassment)
(Julia and Emma barges into the mess hall)
Julia: Good morning buttknuckles.
Damien: Buttknuckles? Is even a-(Julia shoves him onto the ground)
Julia: Oops. You should have moved. (Throws the food up on MK's face) Sorry not sorry. Aw, Priya. You and Chase look so cute together. Don't they Emma.
Emma: And tired too. Take a seat. (Pushes Priya)
Priya: Hey! (Gets pushed into Chase as Chase falls onto the seat with Priya on his lap)
Julia: (Looks at Zee and Ripper) And you two... Eh, not worth it.
Ripper and Zee: (Sigh with relief)
Julia: Just kidding. (Gives Ripper and Zee wedgies) Wedgie!
Damien: Not cool Julia. Really not cool!
Julia: Oh bite me.
Damien: You do know you're only just getting yourself voted off, right?
Julia: You can't vote me if I win immunity, which I will.
Damien: I highly doubt that.
Julia: Whatever, see you at the challenge. (Walks off)
(Chase and Priya blush at each other)
Priya: Oh, sorry. No, I...
Chase: No, it's cool. Are you...?
Priya: Yeah, I'm ok. Maybe we should...(Gets off Chase)
Emma: I wouldn't get to comfortable with him, Priya. Especially since he only...(Gets interrupted by a loudspeaker noise)
Chris: (Loudspeaker) Campers, meet me in the dining hall in ten minutes.
(Ten minutes later)
Chris: Welcome to the wheel of vomit! In today's challenge, you will sample a variety of culinary specialties.
Chase: Wait, if it's an eating challenge, why do we need eye protection?
Julia: It's called the wheel of vomit, doorknob. Figure it out.
Priya: Hey!
Julia: (Mocking) Hey!
Ripper: This better be healthy food, cos I'm super picky about what fuels this engine.
Chris: I'm not sure anything on today's menu qualifies as food.
Zee: Not food? Weird menu, men.
Chris: The rules are simple. A spin of the wheel determines which one these ten meals Chef serves next. If you refuse to eat, are unable to finish or puke, you're out. Last camper still standing wins immunity. The rest of you are up for elimination.
Ripper: (Confessional) I'm already so full, but Damien wants to eliminate me after I left him to get attacked by a cassowary, so I gotta win immunity or I'm toast.
Chris: And now from the renowned culinary institute, la cuillere de caca...
Damien: Doesn't that mean the poop spoon?
Ripper: Uh, no one else speaks latin, nerd!
Chris: It's the one, the only- Chef Hatchet! Now, let's see what our first course is. Come on big money, big money! (Spins the wheel and it lands on red) Round one. The color red means you'll be eating... old sweaty boot beef.
Damien: I'm sorry, what?
Chef: First, I needed some old meat, which I found at the local dump. Then I packed the dump meat into one of my old boots, and baked at four twenty five until medium rare.
Damien: Oh no. (Throws up)
Chris: And Damien is out before the challenge even stars.
MK: Ha! How weak. To win here, you have to be mentally tough enough to not only survive, but to thrive in the face of a challenge. Observe. (Takes a bite out of the meat) See? It's all mind of mat-(Throws up)
Chris: Thar she blows! MK is out.
MK: (Confessional) My brain was saying, 'You got this.' Then my stomach replied, 'You do not.'
Chris: That's two down. Who'll be next?
Zee: Ahh. Done!
Ripper: Done!
Julia: Done!
Priya: Done!
Chase: Done!
Emma: D... (Stomach gurgles)
Chris: Oh...
Emma: D... Mm!
Chris: Oh!
Emma: D... (Stomach groans)
Chris: Oh!
Emma: (Swallows) Done.
Chris: Wow. A real will-she-won't-she for Emma, but she makes it to round two, which is... Orange, meaning you'll be having...
Chef: Nose-so buco. Pork snout is a word-reowned delicacy... but my special recipe uses only pork with servere head colds.
Zee: (slurps the snot in the bowl) This is wicked. Sort of like nose bacon soup.
(Priya Chase Emma Ripper Julia and Zee start slurping from their bowls and all of the except Zee retch)
Julia: It is NOT like bacon soup.
Emma: Ha! I think you mean it is SNOT like bacon soup.
Julia: Don't ever tell a joke again.
Zee: Ah, Chef. You got another schnoz or two back in the kitchen? This growing boy's to eat.
Julia: (Confessional) I'm not the chopping block and need to win immunity, but Zee is a human garbage disposal, so I'm going to need to get creative here.
Julia: Hey, Zee. Did you see that new alien movie called invasion of the sinus blasters?
Zee: I'd really rather not talk about, if that's cool.
Julia: Oh, man. That scene with the truckers in the diner and their soap turned out to actually have a bunch of alien eggs in it, and then the tentacle monsters blasted out through their noses, that was so gr... huh?
(Zee sucks the soap out of the pig nose grossing the rest of the players out)
Zee: Oh, yeah, ha-ha... I forgot that scene. I guess it was pretty sweet.
Julia: But if it didn't gross you out, why didn't you want to talk about it?
Zee: I found the dialogue was stilted and the ending felt forced. Just not one of Radavoslav's better directorial efforts.
Chris: Ok. Hard to believe, but no eliminations that round. On we go. (Spins the wheel and it lands on yellow) Yellow. Ooh, le croissant de cheveux.
Chef: The inspiration for this dish came from a tiny cafe I visited in Paris, where I found a hair in my pastry. This must be the secret to French cuisine! And you may notice a juicy, popping texture in the hair filling. Not to worry that's just lice.
Zee: Hey m, watch this! I'm going to eat the whole thing at once! Ha-ha! (Dumps the whole croissant in his mouth and start chrewing but Julia blows pepper into his face and makes hik sneeze out the croissant) Oh no! (Manages to catch the croissant in his mouth)
Chris: Touchdown!
(Julia, Emma and Ripper eat their croissants while Priya and Chase feed each other theirs)
Priya: (Giggles) It tickles going down. (Hugs Chase as he hugs her back)
Chase: This is nice. I mean, not the eating lice-infested hair part, but, you know, us.
Priya: Yeah, it is.
Emma: Ugh!
Julia: (Whispers to Emma) You know, if you want to reck their relationship, now would be a good time to it.
Emma: (Smirks) Hope you're getting comfortable over there Priya? Especially since you're hugging a jerk who cut ny brakes and hooked up with you for a bet.
Priya: What?
Emma: Oh, don't you know? Chase only hooked up with you to win a bet he had with Wayne.
Julia: (Pretends to be shock by gasping) Chase, you naughty naught boy.
Emma: Yeah, I overheard him saying to Damien.
Priya: Did you really say that?
Chase: Well, I did but I also... I can explain. (Priya's eyes start watering but she then throws up on Chase and runs off crying) Priya, wait!
Chris: And a heartbroken Priya is out.
Chef: Not cool Chase.
Emma: Jerks like him don't deserve to be in a relationship anyway.
Chase: (Angrily) Emma, you are gonna pay for that! Banana pudding!
Emma: (Stomach churns) No.
Zee: Uh, what just happened? (Ripper just shrugs his shoulders)
Chase: Whiteing toothpaste!
Emma: (Belches and gasps) Oh, yeah? Public drinking fountains!
Chase: (Retches)
Emma: Stepping in warm cat barf with bare feet!
Chase: Oh. Oh-oh...
Emma: Bubble gum cough syrup!
Chase: Gleurgh! Steamed carrots!
Emma: Bleurgh! Wet mittens!
Chase: Gleurgh! Post-nasal drip. (Notices Emma leaning towards) Wait, if you got between me and Priya to try and get with me, you can forget it!
Emma: No! The very thought of getting back with you... makes me... (Throws up on Chase)
Chris: Hahaha! That's two girls who've been sick on him now. And in one day.
Chase: Oh! (Throws up on Emma)
Chris: Emma, Chase, you're out.
Chase: (Glares at Emma) I am so voting off tonight! (Leaves the mess hall)
Emma: Oh, you can try, but you'll be the one getting taken away by that drone. (Also leaves the mess hall)
Chris: Yep, love triangles are a vomit-covered mess. Round four. (Spins the wheel and it lands on cyan) Cyan. Toe jam cookies.
Chef: When watching tv, I like to pick the lint out from between my toes, rolling into tiny balls and flick them into the corner. Anyhow, now they're in your cookies.
Julia: (Confessional) Toe jam cookies? Ugh, this will not be easy.
Zee: Mm, still warm! Chef, dude, you are spoiling us today.
(Ripper and Julia eat their cookies trying not to throw up)
Ripper: So, what's in the glass? Like, blended chinch bugs?
Chris: Good idea. You should have been at the pitch meeting. Sadly, this is just milk.
Zee: Oh, milk.I've heard of this stuff. Never tried it, though. Always been more of a soda guy. (Drinks the milk) Huh. Where does it come from?
Julia: Uh, from cows.
Zee: (Chuckles nervously) What do you mean, from cows?
Julia: (Confessional) Zee seems weirdly grossed out by this news, so I'm going to milk it for all it's worth.
Julia: Yeah, cows. You get it by squeezing their udders. You know, those dirty, disgusting pink bags underneath them that dangle and drag the filthy ground all day. That's where milk comes from.
Zee: (Throws up) Why would make me drink that? (Throws up again) I can still taste the barn! What is wrong with you people? (Runs through the wall out of the mess hall)
Chris: I did not see thst coming. Ok, Zee is out. Julia and Ripper, once we bring everyone else back to mess hall it's time for the tie-breaker round for immunity.
Julia: You might as well back out and save yourself some pain, jock-rock.
Ripper: I am pain! Bring it.
(The rest of the six players return to the mess hall)
Chris: Time for the tiebreaker round. (Shows everyone the last dish)
Chef: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. I didn't cook that.
Ripper: A giant plate of pasta? Big whoop. I do this every Sunday at my Nona's.
(The dish moved)
Julia: (Gasps) What was that?
Chris: That is a 50-foot tapeworm.
Chase, Damien, Emma, MK, Priya and Zee: (Gasps)
Chef: No! Y-you can't! At least my dishes pretended to be edible. Please, kids, do not do this. (Gags) It's not... worth it.
Tapeworm: (Confessional) They're right to be disgusted, I haven't showered in days.
Chris: In the middle of this 50-foot tapeworm is the finish line. First one to eat past the line wins immunity. Don't worry, the line was drawn with beet juice. We'd never make anyone eat ink. We're not monsters. Ready, set, eat!
(Ripper and Julia begin eating the tapeworm, only focused on each other and determined to win immunity while grossing out Chef and the other contestants, Julia and Ripper continue eating the Tapeworm until Ripper eats the finish line)
Julia: No!
Ripper: Yes!
Chef: Ripper wins immu... immu... (Stomach rumbles)
Chris: In three, two, one... (Hides under an umbrella)
(Chef throws up followed by Ripper and Julia. Chef the throws up again on Damien making him and the other contestants as well as the camera crew throw up too)
MK: (Confessional) Grossest... episode... ever.
(At the campfire pit)
Chris: I hope you're all feeling better, he said, lying. You know how this works, but I'll regurgitate the info again in case a spew of you have forgotten. Ripper won immunity and is the only camper who cannot be voted off. Who deserves it most? That's up to you.
Chef: Chase, you only hooked up with Priya for a bet. Which is not cool.
Chase: (Confessional) Okay, yeah, Wayne and I had a bet. But I really do want to be with Priya for real. I like her a lot.
Chef: Zee, nobody likes a show-off. You may have painted a target on your own back.
Zee: Aw, bummer.
Chef: And, Damien, you'd throw up before the challenge even started. Talk about weak.
Damien: (Confessional) Well forgive me for not being exitied to eat hairy croissants or toe jam cookies.
Chris: Campers, it's vote time.
Emma: (Confessional) I don't care about strategy. I'm voting for Chase.
Julia: (Confessional) I think some people are getting a little too comfortable around here. Maybe it's time to stir things up.
Priya: (Confessional) Julia deserves to go home, but what Chase did to me was really hurtful.
Chris: As always, a marshmallow means you're safe.
Ripper
Priya
MK
Zee
Emma
Chris: The second last marshmallow goes to... Chase.
(Chase catches his marshmallow and dances, much to Emma's annoyance)
Chris: Which leaves Julia and Damien. The final marshmallow goes to... Julia.
Julia: Yes!
Damien: What?!
Chris: Damien, you've been eliminated.
Julia: Aw, that's a shame. Oh, wait. No, it's not!
Julia: (Confessional) Since I knew everyone would vote for me if I didn't win immunity, I'd tempered with the votes to eliminate Damien. He shouldn't have gotten on my nerves earlier today.
Chris: Damien, follow me to the dock of shame please.
((At the dock of shame)
Damien: I can't believe I'm the one going home. I thought everyone wanted Julia go-(Before he could finish the drone grabbed him by the head and took him away making him scream) This is not safe! (Continues screaming)
Chris: And with that, we're down to seven. Who will be next to go? You'll only find out here on TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND!