A/N: I want to wish everyone a happy holiday. Please be safe and enjoy your time with friends and family.
It has been almost a week since my accident and I am finally being released from the hospital. Even though Alex has not left my side throughout my hospital stay I am still shocked when she informs the doctor I will be staying with her. I am even more shocked considering Rebecca showed up yesterday to see me. I close my eyes as the doctor gives her a list of instructions and medications to be filled and allow my mind to recall the events of yesterday.
"I think you are cheating" Alex tells me laughing as she draws four more cards off the deck of UNO cards.
"You shuffled and dealt them" I say loving the sound of your laughter. It has been a long time since I have heard that sound and I have forgotten how much joy it brings me.
"In that case I believe you have marked the cards." You reply turning a card around and checking it.
"What's the point? We're not playing strip UNO" I say taking in as deep of a breath as I can. I think I can truly say that out of all my injuries the broken ribs are the worse. They prevent me from taking a deep breath when I really need to.
"That's not something we can play here" You tell me causing me to jerk my head in your direction. The wink and half smile you give me makes my heart beat twice as fast.
You glance up at the heart rate monitor and laugh again. I can deny how you make me feel till the cows come home but for as long as I'm hooked up to the machines there is no use. Every time you come near me or touch me my heart rate speeds up like always. The gleam that I see in your eyes each time tells me that you enjoy knowing this knowledge.
I start to say something when we hear a knock at the door and you call out for them to enter. We were both expecting a nurse or possibly a doctor. Neither of us was expecting to see Rebecca standing there.
"Hey babe" she says as she enters the room and approaches my bed.
I glance from her to Alex and I feel a knife being plunged into my heart once again when I see the look that crosses Alex's face. As soon as it is there it is gone and she is standing to gather her things. Somewhere down the line she has decided that her life should be a life of pain for her indiscretion. That is something that I don't understand and never will. It takes two to make a relationship and it takes two to destroy a relationship.
"Your face" Rebecca is saying as I try to look around her and stop Alex from leaving but she is blocking my way. "When I get you home I'm going to take care of you."
I pull back and look up at her. What does she mean when she gets me home she'll take care of me? She hasn't been here since I was admitted. She hasn't been the one sleeping on a pull out chair, taking showers at the hospital, and eating hospital food. She wasn't the one who jumped when I whimpered or took the syringe and fed me. All of that was Alex.
"You haven't been here." I say cringing at how it comes out more harsh than what I mean for it to thanks to my jaw being wired shut.
"That is because she refused to allow me to see you." She says as she tosses Alex's bag to the floor "I was here the night of your accident but she forced me from the room."
I grimace as I try to sit up straighter at this news. Alex hasn't told me that Rebecca was here and for her to send her away it would have to be serious. As she comes closer I can't help but to feel angry towards her for no reason.
"Rebecca please" I say pulling away from her touch.
She looks at me with hurt in her eyes "is this because of her."
"Partly" I answer hating the fact that I am about to hurt her "I'm sorry but over the past week I've realized exactly how much I love her. We've had our ups and downs but I don't want to sign the papers without at least trying to work things out."
"She cheated on you." Rebecca states as if I need a reminder.
"I know" I whisper "But she's been here everyday since the accident. You haven't and don't say its because she wouldn't let you. We may be married but if you had shown up Alex would have done what she just did. She would have picked up her items and left."
"Liv, that's because you are awake now."
"No it's not" I say. What no one knows is that I am starting to remember bits and pieces of when I came in. "You wanted my hands restrained and she ordered you out."
"Is that what she told you?" Rebecca asks me.
"It's what I remember" I answer looking her in the eyes. I can tell by the look that she knows she's busted. She also knows that it doesn't matter what she says now we are through.
In all honesty though we were through long before now I just haven't had the nerve to do anything. She has changed me in ways I never thought someone could. I have gotten to where I call and ask her if I could go with the guys after work for a drink, I cater to her every whim simply because that is what she wants, and lastly I stay so angry when I am with her. We fight so much and the sex isn't even close to being loving. I am so rough with her that afterwards I hate myself.
It was always the opposite with Alex and always will be because I love her. I know this just as I know I will love her till the day I am laid in the ground.
"Whatever I have at your house will you please pack it up and I will have Stabler come and get them. I will also have him bring you your items from my place."
She looks at me with a sad look but nothing like what I see on Alex's face. "When I walk out I won't look back. I want you to know that."
I nod in understanding as she walks toward the door. I am greatly relieved that she is not fighting me on this. I have a feeling that the only reason she isn't is because she fears what she would have to endure from Alex.
Before I can reach for my phone my door opens and Alex is standing there. I can tell by the look on her face she has heard everything. A smile tugs at my lips as she slowly makes her way back in. There is a look of relief on her face and it brings me so much peace that I remember why I fell for her the first time. She has the ability to calm me in a way no one else ever has.
"I would ask if you are ready to leave" She says smiling at me pulling me from my thoughts "But I know you were ready when they loaded you on the ambulance."
I smile at her as I carefully start to stand. It's going to be a hard uphill battle and one that may emotionally take me out but it's a battle I have to fight. If for no other reason than to say I gave it a chance when I have to finally sign the divorce papers that are sitting on her kitchen table.
The thoughts Olivia had concerning Rebecca was what my dear brother in blue confided in me. He has told me that she changed him and not for the good. He wasn't himself when he was with her and now that they are separated and back to talking with his wife he is feeling more like himself.