A/N: I know another update fairly quickly. I can't thank everyone enough for accepting this story with open arms along with all my other ones as well. You guys are truly the best.

I sooth you back to sleep when I hear you start to whimper. I'm no longer sure if your whimpering is due to your accident or what you finally revealed to me earlier in the evening. I had always known you were damaged. No damaged isn't the correct word to use because that indicates that there is something wrong with you and there isn't. I guess the word I need to use here would be broken but I had always thought that you were broken because of the hell you went through in your childhood and continually go through on your job. I never once considered it had to do with you believing you didn't deserve love.

I feel you scoot over closer to me and tightly wrap your arm around me and hold me as if your life depends on it. I fight the tears back as I considered the many times you would do that when I moved in the past and I considered it a romantic gesture. Now I can't help but wonder if it's because you're desperate, no not desperate, you're a lot things my love but desperate will never be one of them. I guess the word I would use here was scared. Scared that you would wake up and all this would be a dream.

Your whimpering pulls me from my thoughts once again. That is when I know for certain it does not have to do with you accident but your emotional hell you are going through. I run my finger through your short hair and can't help but smile when I watch the corners of your mouth twitch in your sleep. I don't think you will ever understand how it makes me feel to know that a simple touch from me can make you smile. It was always such an honor to know that in your darkest hours I was able to be the light you needed to dig your way out.

But how did I miss this darkness that you have always held in you? I would always see a hint of sadness and pain in your eyes but I never really questioned. Because you have proudly worn the uniform for NYPD since you were twenty three years old. That isn't a career for the faint of heart and once you made detective you transferred to one of the roughest units there is. Compound that with the fact that now day's people are out to kill you because you want to help them. You have buried more of your brothers and sisters than you should have because of this senseless violence and each time I watched a little piece of you crumble.

I lean my head back against the headboard and began to rub my hand up and down your back hoping to keep you calm. I wished more than anything that I had known this information from the start. I would have made sure I showed you every day how loveable you are. How much you deserve that love. Why didn't I do that from the beginning? Maybe if I had we wouldn't be where we are at this moment. Then again maybe this is where we need to be because I would have never discovered what was truly behind the sadness hidden in your eyes.

I know that was information you never wanted to come to light but it had to for you to explain your feelings on my cheating. I'm pretty sure you have spent the past few weeks trying to figure out how to explain it without revealing that to me. But, there was no way around it so you had to share your deepest and darkest secret with me to explain everything. What you don't realize is I am so thankful for that because now I can put you back together and show you exactly how loveable and deserving of love you are.

"Alex"

I hum when I hear her call my name although I'm not really paying attention.

"Alex"

I finally shake out of my thoughts and look down at her. She's looking at me with uncertainty and it's a side of her that I'm not used to. She has always been confident and even sometimes cocky but I have never once seen her uncertain.

"Where did you go?"

I smile at her as kiss her forehead "Nowhere honey I've been right here with you."

"Where did you go in your head?"

"Nowhere" I answer afraid if I tell her I was mulling over what was revealed earlier would hurt her somehow.

"You said no more secrets" She says as she sits up and starts to pull way but I refuse to let her.

She's right I did tell her no matter what I was going to be honest with her and here I am lying to her. Not necessarily lying but still not being completely open with her. I'm so scared that she will withdraw or run if I tell her but then I realize that's what I need her to do. I need her to run so that I can show her that she is worth loving and fighting for.

"I was mulling over what you told me earlier."

"Oh' she mumbles as she jerks free of my arms and start to move off the bed.

"I wish you would have told me sooner." I inform her as I reach forward and stop her from getting off the bed. I do, wish that but we can't change the past.

"It doesn't matter" she says as she looks at me.

The pain I see on her face is almost too much so I do the only thing I know to do. I grab her as gently as I can and pull her too me. As my lips touches hers a sigh leaves my mouth and my body is jolted alive. I have forgotten the feel of her lips, her taste, and how alive she makes me feel. She is as intoxicating as the first time if not more so and I have to force myself to pull away from her despite the fact that I want to rip her clothes off and ravage her. But sex is not the answer to our problems and would be nothing but a band aid covering a festering wound.

When I open my eyes you are looking at me with the same twinkle and light you have always had but I see the doubts there as well. Have they always been there and I was blind to them or did you hide them that well? I can't help but wonder what else I haven't 'seen' because I failed to look past what I wanted to see, what you allowed me to see.

I make a promise then and there that I'm going to break down every wall you have and climb through every dark muddy passage you have buried within you. I have no doubt there are going to be times that I will hate what I see and discover. I'm sure at times it will come close to destroying me and I will have to wonder how you survived it. The only answer to that will be what not only myself but everyone around you already knows. You are the strongest person alive.

Without a word I pull you back onto the bed and back into my arms. I'm thankful you don't fight me and settle into my embrace. I can tell you don't want to talk and I will give you that right now. I can't begin to fathom how emotionally, physically, and mentally drained you are and it shows. Within minutes you are out again as I realize I am about to embark on a mission that I should have been doing all along and failed to do so. The thought of this mission causes my heart to beat twice as fast and my soul to feel at peace. I finally close my eyes as a smile graces my face. I am going to date my wife and discover her all over again.