A/N: I know this chapter has been a long time coming and my deepest apologies. I will be honest with everyone I had to put my pug, my baby, of 13 years to sleep in the beginning of September and honestly haven't been in the mood for anything. I sat down to make it through another paper for school which is 20% of my grade and wound up writing this. Now hopefully my muse will feel like writing the paper that is due in a few days.

I'm sitting on the couch when you finally wake up and comes out of the bedroom. It is almost eleven in the morning and I know you are probably upset that you failed to wake up. It's not that I didn't try because I did but every time you pleaded for me to let you rest. After the third attempt I quietly slipped out of the room and called Cragen to let him know. He didn't seem surprised that you wouldn't make it and asked me to tell you to take as long as you need.

"Hey" you say as you lean down and place a kiss on my head "Did you sleep well?"

I raise my head and study your face. There's a part of me that is terrified that you will be disappointed that I didn't force you awake and send you to work. Then there's a part of me that is terrified that this is what will cause you to walk away from me no matter how irrational that thought is. Then there is the bigger part that can't help but breathe a sigh of relief because you actually seem happy that you're not at work.

"Honey, are you ok?"

I shake my head and bring myself back to the present "I'm fine" I mumble as I sit my file down and start to stand and walk to the kitchen "Are you hungry?"

"I'm starving but that doesn't answer my question." She says as she follows me into the kitchen "Are you ok? You have a look on your face and its scaring me. Do I need to leave?"

I spin on my heels and face her quickly "There's the door, I'm not stopping you."

"And you're not pushing me to it either so what gives?"

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before speaking the words that have been running through my mind all morning "I'm waiting on you to hate me because I didn't wake you for work. I'm waiting for you to tell me you are going to shower and go in. I'm waiting for you to silently walk away pissed off like you tend to do and go to work."

She collapses against the counter and I can't help but reach for her scared that her leg has given out or her back is still hurting her. I internally berate myself for snapping on her knowing that she wasn't fully healed yet. When I look at her I see the truth and the pain in her eyes. I realize this is the first time she is fully aware of her actions. It's not because she's ignored them or me but because I have never truly told her how I felt.

"Listen" I start to say but I'm stopped when she places a finger on my lips.

"I've done that plenty of times haven't I?" She asks as she stands and pulls me against her "How many times have I walked out and left you standing there? How many times have I taken a shower and gone to work when we both knew I could have stayed home?"

"Don't" I whisper trying to stop her from forcing us to face what we both need to face. What we have to face to move on.

"Don't what, point out a fact that has slowly destroyed us." you state as you pull back and smiles at me "We already opened up wounds last night and I think we need to finish cleaning them so they can heal."

I want to fight you on it but I know you're right. We have to face this so that we can move forward well actually farther then what we are at the moment. To be honest we need to face it to become the couple we always appeared to be.

"I'll get us some coffee" I tell you as I guide you to the kitchen table and motion for you to sit down. I can't help but wonder how many of these conversations we can have before we destroy what we are building up. Then on the flip side I can't help but wonder how many more of these conversations we have to have as well. I'm not sure which one I'm dreading more.

"I always went to work because that was the one place and thing I was sure of" She tells me as I sit her cup down and take the seat across from her. "There was no doubting myself or my choices when I walked into the precinct or on my way there. Here I had nothing but constant doubts. Why did you love me? Why were you with me? When were you going to realize you could do better and walk out?"

"Olivia"

"That's what I was expecting every time we fought. Every time I walked in that door, after leaving when I shouldn't have, I was expecting to see my stuff packed and ready to go. When it wasn't I was shocked and equally terrified. My line of thinking wasn't fair to you, to me, and it certainly wasn't fair to us. I should have never kept it from you and for that I will be forever sorry."

I wipe the tears that are slowly falling from my eyes and reach for her hands "Ever heard the saying it takes two to make a relationship and it takes two to destroy it."

You nod as you bring my hand to your lips and place a kiss on the knuckles.

"I never stopped you and told you how I felt. How it made me feel when you left like that. I never opened up to you when you walked back in either. I simply opened my arms and welcomed you back. I never wanted to fight with you because I am never sure if that will be our last conversation. I live in fear that one day Cragen will tell me that some thug took your life. Because of that I bite my tongue and avoid saying what needs to be said."

"Ironically it was a car accident that almost took me" you say laughing some with a smile of disbelief on your face "Even though I am far from religious I would have to say that would be God's way of saying stop living in fear of my job and for you to be honest to me. While at the same time telling me to stop believing that I'm not good enough for you and that you deserve better. Above all that I am loveable and people do love me."

I can't help but laugh at the truth in your words. The accident was the eye opener we needed for so many things. I'm not sure if you realize it but it has shown me how madly in love I am with you and how I continue to fall for you even more every day. Most importantly it was the eye opener that showed us how much we still needed each other.

You lean forward and cup my face with your hands and whisper no more secrets. I can only nod before your lips are on mine and I feel that familiar fire start to engulf my body. A fire that only have ever and will ever ignite. A fire I can't wait for you to take control of once again.