-O-

Picturebook Romance

A Trolls fanfic

By Dreamsinger

Chapter Seventy-Four

Memory Lane 4: Fateful Connection

* Happy Broppy Day! *

"Oh, Branch. I feel so bad for you…" Poppy's usually bright face looked cloudy now, lost in the shadow my latest memories had cast. "Right when you were so close to letting go of your fear of the bergens and learning to be happy. You were so close to getting your colors back!" She clenched her little fists. "If only I'd been there! Maybe you wouldn't have left the village. But my dad had made me go home to take a nap after staying up all night for Trollstice, so I didn't hear about what happened until later on." Her shoulders slumped. "I'm so sorry, Branch."

I reached out and took her hand in mine as we walked along the shady lane. "Don't feel bad, Poppy. Honestly, the idea of living in my bunker was pretty much set in my head by then anyway. I needed to get away from the village. I think…maybe all along I was looking for an excuse to leave."

-O-

As I used my hair to fling myself from tree to tree, I fought against the inner turmoil that tried to bring me down. Fear, fury, grief, bewilderment, and exhaustion pulsed through me in waves, the way fevers made you go from sweating to shivering in seconds. But this was worse than any fever. You could expect to get better from a fever, if it didn't kill you. Nothing would make this situation better.

All I wanted was to get away from the pain. Numb it, kill it, block it all off. Swing, swoop, twirl through the air. Breathing, sweating, stretching, grabbing. For a while, nothing mattered except that next leap.

As always, being active helped me feel better. By the time I was almost home I'd calmed enough to think a little more rationally.

I did it. I finally did it. I left the village.

Turmoil aside, on some level I expected to feel satisfied. I was finally going to get away from all the frivolous nonsense the other trolls wasted their time with and focus on what was truly important. I was finally going to be…free.

Instead my heart felt heavy. I don't get it. After all these years of not being taken seriously, I should feel glad to get away. Everyone was against me. I have every right to feel betrayed. So…why do I feel so guilty?

Because I'd abandoned them. Without me there, who would watch over the village?

Oh, right. Their glorious king, who made it very clear that he doesn't need me around.

Righteous anger burned through my inner conflict. Abruptly I stopped my forward rush, planting my feet firmly on a big oak branch. "That's right, Branch. You have nothing to feel guilty about," I told myself. "You did everything you could."

Yet even as I stood there I caught myself listening for the swish of hair and the sound of trolly voices behind me. Nothing. No one had come after me. Not Laurel, not the king. Not even Poppy, who usually acted as peacemaker in situations like this.

I guess that tells me exactly how much I mean to them. I scowled. Well then, fine!

"I looked out for you. I even built a bunker for you. I gave you all so many chances, and every time you let me down. I can't do it any more! I won't!" I shouted to the treetops. "You got that? I wouldn't go back now even if you begged me!"

I should have moved on, but I didn't. I waited.

No troll answered. Not even the forest critters responded to my challenge. I began to feel a little foolish, picking a fight with thin air. The fight was over, and I'd won. Or had I lost?

…I'm really doing this…

Tension began to build as everything that had happened really began to sink in. I'd done a lot of extreme things, but this was bergen-sized extreme. A rush of remorse hit me right in the stomach and I let out a groan. "What were you thinking?" I berated myself. "Having such a public fight with the king? You should've talked to him privately about keeping the old rules. You should've kept your cool. But nooo, you had to blow up at him on stage in front of everyone. Good thinking, Branch!"

I whimpered miserably and gave in to the temptation to scrunch down into a ball. I spent a lot of time hiding in trees like this when I was younger. It helped me feel calmer when my insides were a mass of roiling stormclouds. I hadn't felt the need to hide like this since… Since the day I met Acorn. I'd had no need to hide from his admiring eyes. We'd spent a wonderful summer together, and the last gift he'd given to me was the idea for a secret hideout. My bunker was the result. I let go of my legs and relaxed a little as I thought about the place I'd spent the last year creating. Safe, hidden, and full of supplies, it had become the source of solace I'd craved for so very long.

How content I was when I was there! In my bunker, every choice was mine. No one would argue with me. No one would expect me to do things I didn't want to do. I wouldn't have to be accountable to anyone but myself. And I would have all the privacy I wanted.

I'd experienced a brief taste of such freedom when I was twelve; and even now, Incident and all, I still recalled that time with fondness. I'd wanted the chance to experience such a life ever since. Living alone might be a little lonely, but it had some definite perks.

Anyway, it's not like I really have a choice. I'd just announced to the entire village that I was leaving. I couldn't go crawling back now. Come on, Branch. What's done is done. If you hadn't left on your own, the king probably would've banished you sooner or later anyway.

Besides, even if I wanted to go back, go back to what? An empty pod, with the echoes of friends who aren't ever coming back? To a girl who wants another troll?

I winced as Laurel's delighted "I'm getting married!" echoed in my ears. I thought she was in love with me, but I was fooling myself. My face burned with embarrassment as I thought about the scene I'd just made in front of her. I am a fool. Of course she didn't love me. No one could possibly love a grumpy gray troll like me.

The worst part was, when Laurel had hugged me, I'd actually enjoyed being hugged. I'd even begun to dream about more than hugs. Kisses. Romance. Having someone who cared about me to share my life with, like Leafe and Cherry Blossom and my dads all did.

That's not going to happen now. My energy left me and I let my body slump, pressing my face into my knees. I've lost Laurel. Savvy and Finetune, too. I've lost everyone. I'm all alone. I sighed mournfully. Face it, Branch, you knew it would happen one day. You should be used to it by now. Everyone leaves you eventually.

A hollow ache grew in my chest, threatening to smother me. I started breathing heavier and my eyes stung with tears, but I fought them off. I was so, so done with all of this. I was done counting on other people to be there for me. Every person I'd let into my life, every single person had abandoned me, or let me down. The only one who hadn't was Acorn, but I couldn't see him anymore. I'd contaminated him enough.

I was tired, too. Tired of a life of constant conflict. Tired of feeling bad about myself for hurting the people I cared about. I wasn't really angry at any of them. Well I was, for leaving me, but I understood. Their lives were better without me in them. I would have made the same choice. This is for the best. For everyone.

Just then a strong gust of cold wind swept over me, blowing back my hair. Automatically I lifted my head and took a long sniff. About ten degrees cooler than the ambient temperature, I decided. Such a rapid change indicated that a storm was approaching.

Enough whining, Branch. Time to head home.

I got to my feet and faced the right way, but a small, wistful part of me made me look over my shoulder one last time. I was already too far away to see the village, but I knew exactly where it was. How could I not? Everything and everyone I knew was there.

…I wish I could have said goodbye, at least. I wish…

Warm, misty memories of all the people I loved tried to form behind my eyes. They were holding out their arms to me. All I had to do was show up at Hug Time, and-

Stop. Just stop.

I shook my head fiercely. I had to build a new life. Memories would only weaken me. Resolutely I pushed them all away, back and back and back through the heavy golden door that walled off my heart until I couldn't see them anymore. Then I reached for the ornate handle and began to pull. Just as the door hit home, above me a thunderclap boomed.

A fitting farewell.

Everyone I'd ever loved had moved on. It was about time I did the same. "Besides," I said sourly to no one, "It's not like anyone will miss me."

-O-

"This is for you."

After supper on the day that I'd moved into Jaunty and Courtley's pod, I'd offered to walk Poppy home. As we walked, the six-year-old princess handed me the scrapbook she'd been working on while I'd slept the day away.

The first page had all of us hugging each other. Of course, I noted wryly. Even for a troll, Poppy was exceptionally huggy. I took a closer look at the figures. The little princess had used quite a few different fabrics and textured paper to depict each of us, cut and glued together with exceptional precision for such a young trolling. "Nice work," I commented, turning the page curiously.

"Thank you, Branch!"

She squiggled her body in pleasure as we walked. I glanced at her, tempted to smile before I went back to studying the new page, which was just as skillfully done as the first. In it, my skinny nine-year-old self was eating a meal together with little Poppy, King Peppy, Jaunty and Courtley. The next page had me playing buzzyball, a type of polo that trolls played while riding zippers. The cute pink-and-yellow bugs had long fuzzy antennae and four pairs of wings, which made them excellent at agility. Poppy had put the little figure of me on the back of an upside-down zipper, hitting a ball with my long, flat-edged stick toward the goal. Figures of Poppy, her dad, Courtley, and Jaunty all had their hands in the air, cheering me on.

And the last page had-

"More hugging?" I said, rolling my eyes. Should've expected that.

"Yes. My daddy says you can never have too many hugs," she cheerfully informed me.

I scoffed. "Nah. I got tired of hugging years ago."

Her eyes went wide and she stopped walking. "But – but you hugged me this morning! You hugged all of us."

"That was different." I squirmed a little. "I really needed that hug. I meant, I think it's silly to hug somebody just 'cause a Hug Time bracelet tells you to."

She was silent for a minute. "Is that why you don't wear one?"

"Yeah. Also, 'cause I kept breaking mine when I smacked it to turn it off. It kept bugging me."

More silence. I started to get uncomfortable, remembering that I was talking to the princess of the village. Her family was responsible for choosing village traditions, including Hug Time. I closed the scrapbook and slid it into my hair. "Um, anyway, thanks for the scrapboo-"

"You're different from the other trolls, aren't you?" she asked abruptly, tilting her head to the side like a curious puppy.

I sighed and hung my head, my ears wilting. "Yeah, I know."

Unlike me, Poppy was good at reading social cues. "Oh, but not bad-different! I mean, you're kinda weird, but that's what makes you interesting."

"'Interesting'?" I perked up. "Nobody's ever called me that before."

"Weird" I was used to hearing, but I liked "interesting" much better.

"Well, you are. And…" Her usual sunny smile faded, replace by an uncharacteristically solemn look. "I'm sorry you feel bad sometimes. My daddy says that's why you act like you do. He showed me how you feel today, and it was the baddest thing I ever-"

My face went hot and I started walking, embarrassed to be reminded that I'd slapped her face the day before and ended up living in yet another new home because of it.

Poppy trotted to catch up with me and took hold of my hand. I nearly jerked free, but the look on her face stopped me. She was smiling. No hesitancy, no wariness, despite how mean I'd been to her yesterday. She really did care about me. Why, I had no idea, but the feeling made me smile down at her. Gladness warmed my belly when her smile became a big, happy grin.

We continued to walk, swinging our hands in the air between us.

"We're friends, aren't we, Branch?" Poppy said contentedly.

"Yeah, Poppy. We're friends."

-O-

The day I left the village for good was one of the worst days of my life. To cope, I'd completely closed off my heart. I might have retreated from the world entirely at that point, if not for a fateful encounter with a certain twelve-year-old princess.

I'd arrived back at my bunker and decided the first thing I ought to do was go ahead and camouflage the trap door entrance. I'd been worried that some trolls wouldn't be able to find it in the panic of an evacuation, but there was no point in waiting any longer.

I was kneeling on the grass with my head down inside the open trap door when I was startled by a bright, energetic greeting. "Hi, Branch! Whatcha dooin'?"

I jerked my head up so violently that I slammed it into the frame, and saw stars. Caught! My bunker's been compromised!

"What's in the hole?" came the same chirpy voice.

"None of your business! It's private!" I yelled, rubbing the stinging lump on my skull.

Then I saw pink, and realized exactly to whom I was speaking. Always the village favorite, Poppy's incessantly in-your-face exuberance invariably set my teeth on edge.

While we had once been closer, I hadn't seen much of the village princess lately. Not since last summer, when being with Acorn had brought me into her social circle for a time. When I stopped seeing Acorn, I stopped seeing a lot of people, including Poppy.

Meanwhile, Poppy herself had been busier than ever. On her twelfth birthday the perky pink princess had begun to take on more responsibilities, doing everything she could to make Troll Village the happiest place in the forest - if not the whole world. Naturally, between her new duties and my habit of avoiding social functions our paths rarely crossed these days.

Now Poppy looked surprised at my instant hostility. I groaned. "Sorry, Princess." This can't be happening. Of all the trolls to be discovered by- Oh. She must be here to scold me.

I gave her a guilty look, but she only said, "That's all right," with a cheerful smile. Then she stepped past me and peered down into the dark depths. I tensed, knowing what was coming. "Hey, Branch, have you been down there yet?"

"Poppy-"

She rushed on before I could answer. "Well, of course you must have. Why else would you be building a trapdoor?"

"Poppy," I said, louder, but as usual when she got excited she rolled right over me.

"What's it like? Must be really cool, huh?"

"Poppy!" I couldn't deal with this. Not today. I was at my limit.

"It's like a secret hideout!" she gushed eagerly. "I can't wait to see it!"

No no NO…

"-I bet it'll be super fun and spooky and HEY just wait a minute while I go get the gang-"

With my last place of solace about to be torn away from me, I flung back my head and howled so loud it startled a flock of chorus flies into the air.

"STOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

Poppy jumped too, her fuchsia eyes huge in her little face. I took several deep breaths that, to my shame, had the thin thread of a whine in them. I gritted my teeth, grasping for control.

"Branch?"

"Please, Princess… Not today, okay? Please. Please!" I begged. My voice sounded awful, deep and throaty with pain.

"What's wrong?" She took a step closer, studying my face. Her forehead wrinkled worriedly. "You don't look so good, Branch. Your eyes… Are you sick?"

Yeah. Heartsick. "No," I mumbled. It was obvious she hadn't heard about what I'd done yet. I wasn't about to tell her.

But Poppy knew me. "Did something happen?"

I looked away, refusing to answer. Not like there's anything she could do to make it better.

In the awkward silence that followed, a heavy weariness began to press down on me, muffling everything. It felt familiar, almost comforting. The same thing had happened to me years ago after my pod fell, when all I wanted was to sleep, and make the world go away.

"Branch?"

Sleep. Sleep is good. I lowered my head and closed my eyes. If I didn't answer, she would get bored and leave eventually. I'd camouflage the trapdoor so well that she couldn't find it again. Once I was safe inside my bunker, the rest of the world really would be as good as gone. It would be so quiet and peaceful…

"Branch," came an overly-patient, encouraging voice. "Whatever it is, I can help you. But you have to talk to me, okay? Come on now… What do you want?"

I twitched an ear in annoyance. What am I, a baby? She might just as well have said "Use your words." I opened my eyes and glared at her. "What I want is someplace I can go to get a little privacy! Is that really too much to ask?" I snapped. Of course, there was the pod in the village, but walls made of hair that could be folded down like flower petals were the very opposite of privacy.

I expected a cheerful argument, but she only repeated, "Okay, you want privacy. I understand."

I blinked. "You understand?" I put a skeptical hand on one hip. "Really?" Poppy was the most social troll in the village. I knew she was happiest when surrounded by her friends and loved ones, which was everyone. Even me.

"Well, I understand that privacy is important to you," she clarified.

Okay, that makes more sense. Pondering her odd response, I wondered if this was the result of her recent leadership training.

Poppy studied me for a long moment, her expression unusually solemn. "You know, you seem kind of down, even for you." She smiled engagingly, her head tilted cutely to one side. "Are you suure privacy is the only thing you want right now?" Before I could ask what she meant, her arms opened wide.

At the sight I automatically protested, "Hey, it's not Hug Time," but my words lacked their usual bite. Even though I rarely initiated hugs, I felt awful right now. Deep down, I wanted the comfort she was offering. Besides, it was Poppy, one of the few trolls whose hugs I'd never minded receiving.

Poppy understood. She came to me and put her arms around me. At the touch of her warm little body and her familiar sweet scent, something in me finally broke. As I once had a long time ago I squeezed my eyes shut, helpless to stop the sudden rush of tears down my cheeks. All I could do was hold myself rigid, my hands clenched into fists at my sides, holding my breath against the sob that wanted to force its way out of me.

When I couldn't hold it in anymore, the noise brought vivid fuchsia eyes within inches of mine. Her little face mirrored my distress. "Branch! Aw, Branch, don't cry. I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! I promise I won't make you take me into your secret hideout. You can have all the privacy you want, so don't cry. Please!"

Her voice was cracking, and she looked like she might burst into tears any moment herself. My mouth dropped open in astonishment. Poppy had seen me cry before, and while she'd always been sympathetic, she'd never reacted so strongly before. What was going on?

I took a couple of deep, shaky breaths, sniffling as I wiped my face with the back of my hand. Then I took a good long look into her eyes.

On some level I still thought of Poppy as the young, innocent trolling who'd forgiven me for slapping her when all she'd been doing was trying to understand me. But now, gazing into plaintive, troubled eyes, I sensed that maybe for the first time she actually could. There were shadows in her eyes that hadn't been there the last time I'd looked; shadows that came from bad experiences, mistakes, regrets.

My instincts told me that something was going on with her, and that worried me. Why had she come all the way out here to find me? "Poppy, did something happen? Are you all right?" I asked in concern.

She looked a little surprised at how fast I'd shifted gears, but quickly shook her head and smiled brightly. "Yeah, I'm good."

I could have left it at that, but I was still suspicious. "Are you sure? How's your leadership training going? Did you need my help with something?"

This time she hesitated, then looked away without speaking. Suddenly she reminded me of Acorn when something was bothering him. "Poppy," I said gently. "What is it? You can tell me. I won't tell anyone." It's not like I have anyone to tell.

Maybe she realized that, because her posture sagged slightly. "Well… Training is kind of…intense. More than I thought it would be," she admitted. "I guess I'm having doubts for the first time about whether I have what it takes."

I caught the slight tremor in her voice and my heart went out to her. Having doubts wasn't like her. Poppy was the happiest, most optimistic troll in the village.

Unfortunately, I wasn't sure how much I could do to help. I was an engineer, not a social expert. In fact, I was probably the last troll Poppy should ask for advice. But at least I could encourage her, like I used to do for Acorn. "Of course you do. You might make mistakes, but that's how you learn. You'll get it. I know you will."

I was glad to see the light come back into her eyes. "You're right, Branch. I can't give up. I just have to keep trying until I succeed."

"That's right. And if you do need help, or…if you just want to talk," I gestured at the trap door, "you know where to find me."

An hour ago I would never have imagined saying something like that to anyone, but it felt like the right thing to do. Seeing her grateful beam made it worth it. Poppy stepped closer, her eyes shimmering with affection. "Thank you, Branch. That really means a lot to me."

Instinctively I opened my arms. Her face lit up and she threw herself into them. She tucked her head against my chest, and I snuggled her close to me. The cozy feel of her body against mine was wonderfully soothing. For a little while I let myself forget everything and simply enjoy a warm embrace with someone who cared.

For once I was the one who didn't want to let go. Letting go meant facing the drastic changes I'd wrought today. After this hug I would have to begin building a new life for myself, whatever that might be. Even though I knew I had to, I guess I wasn't quite ready to let go.

Poppy must have felt that, because she let me hug her for a long time before finally drawing away to look up at me with big, soft eyes. "Are you all right, Branch?"

"Yeah." My heart did feel lighter.

As if in response, the meadow around us suddenly brightened as a beam of sunlight shone through the overcast sky, turning Poppy's hair into a glorious, glowing sunrise. I admired the beautiful color for a moment before glancing upward. The dark clouds appeared to be breaking up.

Poppy followed my gaze. "The sun's coming out. I guess the storm passed by us," she commented.

"Yes. The storm passed," I agreed quietly.

From the deep look she gave me I saw that she'd understood my unspoken meaning. Hm. She's really growing up.

From her thoughtful expression, she was also reassessing her mental picture of me. I wondered what she saw. If I was any different from the angsty, oversensitive trolling I'd been when I'd slapped her, I couldn't tell.

I wondered what Poppy would be like in the future, and whether I would be a part of it. What if this was the last time I ever saw her? Was this goodbye to one of my oldest friends?

Why do I always have to lose the people I care about?

I don't know what my face looked like right then, but Poppy came to me and put a caring hand on my arm. All she said was my name, but somehow it seemed like so much more. Her sweet smile held compassion, understanding, appreciation, love. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to smile at her the same way. Poppy was my dear friend; one of the few people in this world who genuinely cared about me. Keeping her in my life suddenly seemed like the most important thing in the world.

What touched me the most was that Poppy seemed to feel the same way.

-O-

I didn't know it then, but that was the moment we saw into each other's souls, forging a deeper, mature bond that has endured despite numerous disagreements and disappointments, and always will.

-O-

Finally Poppy glanced up at the sun. "I'd better be heading back now. As long as you're okay?" she asked, looking at me with sweet concern.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I smiled again, appreciating her more than ever. "I guess I just needed a little Sunshine. Thanks for the hug."

"Anytime, Branch." The smile she gave me in return was not her usual ear-to-ear grin. It was softer, quieter, more gentle. "Is there anything else I can do for you, Branch?"

"Just…keep the location of this place a secret," I replied quietly. "Please. It – It means everything to me."

"I will," she said solemnly. "I promise. I'll even pinky-promise if you want me to." She held out her hand, pinky extended.

I was touched, and tempted. "That's okay. If we pinky-promise it'll let out such a blast that everyone will know where we are. But thank you, Princess Poppy," I said with genuine gratitude and respect.

I thought she might ask why this place was so important to me, but she only said softly, "What's with the title? We're friends, Branch. Just call me Poppy."

"Okay. Poppy."

Dreamsinger's Corner:

I added this scene because I was thinking about why Poppy would consider Branch her friend in the first movie when he certainly didn't act like it. Yet Poppy was sure he would follow after her, and he did, so he must have shown her that he really cared about her at some point in their past. I wanted to show Branch and Poppy connecting more deeply than they ever have before, but also I wanted to explain a minor issue that's always bugged me. I've always thought it was out of character for Poppy to know where Branch's bunker was and not to have ever seen inside it. We know from the movie that she'd never been in there before. Since she does break into his bunker without permission in the Holiday special, I figured there would have to be some strong personal reason for her to never have violated his privacy before that.

Two of the calming techniques Branch uses to combat bad emotions are vigorous exercise, which releases muscle tension and creates feel-good hormones, and seeking out a quiet, dimly-lit space. Sometimes reducing sensory stimulation can be calming. Spending time in nature helps you ground yourself, too, by focusing your mind on what's around you (assuming your surroundings are mostly pleasant, of course, lol).

When Poppy discovers Branch at his bunker, she uses a common conflict-resolution skill called "active listening." Repeating what the other person said to make sure they are both on the same page. I figured that by age twelve her dad would have started emphasizing the importance of such skills for her role as the future queen.

Poppy's "Whatcha dooin'" is a reference Isabella's catchphrase to her crush Phineas, in the fantastic musical comedy/adventure series Phineas and Ferb, which is a favorite of mine.