Summary: Natsu learns something about Lucy that terrifies him, more than any enemy could.

Pairings: Natsu/Lucy.

It was a regular day in the guild hall of Fairy Tail and Natsu was busy eating tons of food like usually.

Happy, was right next to him, then his cat got a mischievous look and flew over to Lucy who was talking with Levy.

"Hey Lucy~~~" He said with a mocking undertone, "Are you sure, you should be drinking that milkshake? You don't want to get fatter than you already are."

"You damn cat!" Lucy growled.

"EEEKKKK!" Happy cried flying away immediately, "Natsu! Lucy's gonna eat meeeee!"

The fire dragon slayer sighed, part of him was just going to leave Happy to suffer the consequences…..but for some reason he was feeling responsible today.

So he got up, marched over to Lucy, who was chasing Happy and grabbed her. He dumped her over his shoulders like she weighed nothing.

"Alright Luce, I think we've had enough excitement for one day." He said with his trademark grin.

Lucy's face lit up in embarrassment and she started hitting his back, "Natsu! Put me down! This is embarrassing!"

She also knew with the angle she was at, people could definitely see under her skirt.

(Macao and Wakaba getting a nosebleed, told her she was correct).

Natsu rolled his eyes at that, 'Wow, the one time I'm actually being responsible, she still fans a way to complain."

Women were weird and confusing creatures.

Lucy was starting to struggle and wiggle in his grasp and no matter what he did, she wouldn't calm down.

He then remembered something, a piece of advice Gildarts gave to him when he was a kid.

Flashback

"Remember Natsu, if a woman ever starts giving you some trouble, all you need is to give them a little smack on their butt and they'll calm down." Gildarts said with a grin as he drank some beer.

Eight year old Natsu tilted his head rather cutely, "But wouldn't that hurt them?"

The older man chuckled, "Nah kid, trust me, if anything they'll love it."

Natsu nodded his head once again, after all Gildarts was the strongest and coolest, so he must be correct.

"Thanks Gildarts!" Natsu exclaimed as he ran out of the hall.

Thanks to that, he missed the absolute beating Gildarts received from Mira and Erza for 'corrupting' Natsu.

Flashback End

Deciding that since a woman (Lucy) was giving him a hard time, Natsu decided to put that theory to the test.

With his free hand, he lifted it up and gave Lucy a light but firm smack on her ass.

Instantly she froze from her struggles and went limp in his arms.

The guild also grew eerily silent at what just happened. Gray, Gajeel, Macao and Wakaba's jaws were on the floor. Laxus looked in amusement and Bickslow was stifling a laugh.

Natsu grinned, they were all so impressed by him! He had found the way to deal with rampaging women! Maybe he'd try it the next time Erza-

"Ooooooh….."

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard Lucy moan…..not in pain….in something he didn't quite know what it was.

There was also a weird scent coming from her…..and his shoulder was feeling wet for some reason.

"Harder….." She said breathlessly.

The sound of jaws hitting the flaw was all that was heard in the guild.

"….What?" He asked confused.

"I said harder daddy!" She exclaimed in wanting.

Natsu was so shocked by her outburst that he dropped her to the ground.

Instead of grunting in pain, Lucy moaned even louder (Carla was definitely covering Wendy's ears and eyes) and looked at him with hearts for pupils and a desire fuelled smile.

"Yes daddy! Treat like a dark mage! Punish me!"

Natsu's brain short-circuited and he felt his cheeks heat up for some weird reason.

Lucy then began crawling, yes CRAWLING towards him as she began to speak, though softer this time, "Please, daddy, teach me a lesson…."

"W-What?" That was all he could say, his brain was busy trying to reboot from this harrowing experience.

Wendy, after having broken free from Carla walked over to Lucy and checked to see if there was a spell at play.

Wendy's eyes widened in confusion, "Um, Natsu….there's no spell here. Lucy seems normal." The young dragon slayer said.

Natsu spluttered, "Normal?! She's acting the furthest thing from normal right now!"

Wendy's face lit up in embarrassment, "I'm sorry! But I really can't tell what's wrong with her."

Natsu was going to ask her to try again, but Lucy (who was still on all fours by the way) started tugging at his pants, "Come on daddy…..I've been bad." She said in a sultry tone.

"Always kicking you out of my apartment…..I deserve to be punished." Lucy whispered, licking her lips.

Natsu's face was so red, he could probably pass for a strand of Erza's hair, "L-Lucy! Calm down! I'm….I'm not gonna punish you!"

Why the hell is she acting like Virgo?!

Lucy pouted, before she grinned and turned around, sticking her butt up in the air, "Come on Daddy~~~ I know you want too~~~" She said, giving it a little shake.

A lot of men (Besides Gray, Laxus, Gajeel and Freed) all passed out with severe nosebleeds at that.

Natsu almost collapsed at that, "What? No! I'm not going to hit you!"

"You did it already…"

"THAT WAS DIFFERENT!"

Lucy, then lifted up her skirt, exposing her butt and panties to him, "Come on…" She whined, "One little slap, please daddy."

Natsu wished he was back fighting demons or criminals or even back in Edolas. That was way easier than whatever the hell was going on here.

"And then," Lucy continued, unaware of his increasing insanity, "You can bend me over the table and eat me out." She grinned lecherously, very similar to Cana.

Natsu looked confused, "Eat you? Why would I do that? You're not food."

Before anyone could say he was stupid, Erza walked in to the hall, "What's going on he-" He words died in her throat when she saw Lucy on all fours shaking her butt in front of a very traumatized and confused Natsu. That wasn't even going over the fact that Lucy had that some perverse grin Cana had.

The moment Lucy glanced at Erza, her grin disappeared and the hearts in her eyes faded away, she blinked, "What happened? Why're most of the guys knocked out with nosebleeds? And why are you all staring at me?"

"Um….Lucy…" Natsu called out from behind her and she became keenly aware of the position she was in.

She was on the ground, with her butt high in the air and exposing her panties to Natsu

What the Fuck?!

She screeched, her face bright red as the memories came back. She immediately stood up and turned to face Natsu, "Oh my god! I'm so sorry Natsu!"

Natsu stared at her for a few seconds before he laughed, a kind of laugh that held relief, "It's okay Luce, just glad you're back to normal."

She calmed down, seeing he was okay…..then that calm changed to anger, "Wait a second…..the only reason any of this happened…..was because you slapped me!"

Natsu winced, "I-I didn't know this would've happened!"

"No excuses! Who the hell picks a girl up and puts her over their shoulders before slapping her ass?!" She growled, fists clenching and approaching Natsu.

Natsu held his hands up in surrender, "I'm sorry! I really didn't mean for this to happen! I was just following Gildarts' advice."

Lucy raised an eyebrow, "Gildarts?"

Natsu nodded his head, "Yeah...when I was a kid, he told me that to get a woman to calm down, you'd have to slap them on their butt."

Lucy hoped he was joking, but of course Natsu wasn't. He genuinely believed everything Gildarts said. She found it harder to be mad when she saw how sorry he looked and the sincerity in his eyes.

She sighed, "Natsu….don't believe everything Gildarts says. Women don't like it when you slap them on the butt, it makes them even angrier."

Natsu tilted his head, an innocent look on his face, 'Cute.' Lucy thought to herself.

"If it makes them angrier," He began, "then why'd you call me daddy and want me to hit you again?" He genuinely asked.

Lucy blushed so hard at that, "I don't know!" She shouted, in truth she really didn't. This whole thing was weird.

Happy then flew by her, "Aye Lucy! Did you pee yourself?"

"Huh?" Lucy looked down and saw that there was a trail of clear liquid running down her legs.

Her face turned so red at that and steam started erupting from her ears and nose.

"It's not pee Happy." Natsu told his friend, "I dunno what it is, but it's weird and sticky." He frowned touching his shoulder, "Some got on my shoulder when Lucy went all crazy."

No matter what anyone says, Lucy was entitled to faint at that. She'd never recover from this.

(Meanwhile Gildarts was found beaten and bloodied under a tree, courtesy of Erza and Mira. This was for 'corrupting' Natsu.)