An Ace In The Hole
Chapter Five: A Day To Remember
The morning of September 19th was shaping up to be the most stressful morning Narcissa could remember since the morning they had received word that the Dark Lord had fallen. She remembered how worried Lucius had been that Aurors would arrive at any moment to haul them off to Azkaban. She remembered the owls that filled the sitting room of their manor home with letters telling of another arrest or asking for bribes in return for their freedom. She remembered her silent relief that came from the thought that her husband would never again leave her in the middle of the night to worry whether her son would wake up the following morning fatherless.
In the end, what Narcissa had hoped was nothing more than a dream. She came to realize that the Dark Lord had been nothing more than an excuse for her husband to practice his Pureblood beliefs and to justify his love of the Dark Arts. The fall of the Dark Lord did not end her sleepless nights or prevent Lucius from raising Draco to be just like him.
As Narcissa followed the Joker, she wondered whether her son would soon end up motherless.
"Sure this is going to work, Mistah J?" asked Harley, tugging at her robes uncomfortably as they walked towards the end of a dark alley.
"Absolutely not." retorted the Joker darkly. "But where would be the fun if we knew how it was all going to turn out?"
"It will work." said Ivy. "Isn't that right, my pet?"
Narcissa glanced at Ivy nervously, but nodded her head in agreement.
"Come on now!" growled the Joker. "Happy thoughts! Remember the bumbling idiot's last words! He said to think of things that make you happy to increase the magic of the cloaks we're wearing. These Dementor creatures feed on despair and hopelessness."
Narcissa shivered slightly at the Joker's words.
"Upset with me, Narcissa?" asked the Joker, spying her reaction.
"I had known that shop owner nearly all my life." sighed Narcissa. "My father use to do business with him almost every week."
"Hey… at least he went out with a smile on his face." said the Joker smiling manically. "That's more than most can say these days."
The quartet approached a brick wall at the end of the alley. It was at least thirty feet tall and looked solid; no signs of a hidden door or even a crack.
"Ya know, I've never been too fond of meeting people in dark alleys." said a simpering voice as a slender figure stepped out of the shadows.
"Well helloooo Frost." said the Joker casually. "I was hoping that you'd get my message and slip on by."
"Save your jokes." hissed Killer Frost. "The Baron said that there was money to be made and bodies to count."
"The Baron is never wrong, Frost my dear." said the Joker smiling. "As for my jokes… most think they're to DIE for."
"Yeah yeah yeah." said Frost in a bored tone. "So what's the hit?"
"We're rescuing one of the wealthy from an extended stay for bad behavior." mused the Joker.
"As long as he's paying…"
"I don't see why we need her." interrupted Ivy.
"Careful Ivy." said Frost coldly. "Wouldn't want an early frost."
Ivy glared while Frost simply smiled.
"Ladies! Ladies!" cooed the Joker. "You'll both feel better once you've stretched your legs and filled a few graves."
Without waiting for a retort, the Joker stepped forward, inching closer to the wall.
"You can almost smell the secrets." breathed the Joker. "Narcissa, if you would be so kind."
Narcissa approached the brick wall and tapped her wand to one of the bricks. The wall rippled like water, but remained in place. Slowly, Narcissa reached out and pushed her hand through the wall. The Joker laughed with glee before grabbing Harley by the hand and leaping through the wall. Frost strolled through behind the Joker, smirking over her shoulder at Ivy. Ivy sighed as she followed, tugging Narcissa through by the arm.
They found themselves on the shore of a small island in the middle of a turbulent sea. Before them stood a tall stone wall and beyond that a towering structure that reached towards the sky. Behind them, stood a small building with a sign above the door reading 'Visitor's Exit'.
"Wrap yourself in this, Frost my dear." said the Joker, tossing her a cloak.
"Thanks, but I don't get cold." retorted Frost.
"That's not what it's for." said the Joker. "Trust me."
Frost raised an eyebrow before tossing the cloak around her.
"The gate is down this path." said Narcissa, pointing to a path that lead around the shore and parallel with the stone wall. "There will be several guards there, but no Dementors. They are kept inside to keep the prisoners well guarded."
The Joker pulled the hood of his cloak up and chuckled as he sang, "To Azkaban We Go!"
~~~Ace~~~
Several minutes later Narcissa, Ivy and Harley approached the gate, noting the three guards that stood somberly at their posts. Narcissa almost felt sorry for them.
"State your business." said one of the guards when they drew close enough.
"Narcissa Malfoy and my cousins Harleen and Ivy Black." said Narcissa indignantly. "We are here to visit my sister, Bellatrix Lestrange."
"Please submit your wands for inspection." said the guard. "I presume that you have obtained the necessary permission parchments to visit a maximum security prisoner."
"Of course." said Narcissa, withdrawing a roll of parchment. "Will this take long? We are in a hurry and do not wish to remain in this prison any longer than we have to."
"Oh come on, Narcissa dear." said Ivy, strolling forward. "What's the rush? Why I bet these handsome guards have been here alone all night in the cool air. Bella isn't going anywhere."
The guard looked Ivy up and down; greed filling his eyes.
"Yeah, I bet they've been here shivering without anything to keep them warm." said Harley, approaching another of the guards who looked as though he enjoyed the attention.
"Most certainly not." protested Narcissa. "I'm a married woman."
"Yeah, married to boring Lucius Malfoy." cooed Harley. "These three look like way more fun, but you're going to have to share."
The third guard looked at Narcissa expectantly and she had to sigh at the stupidity of the crew before them. Before she could say a word, Ivy was kissing the first guard while Harley placed a hand gently on the second guard's chest. Immediately, the first guard began to gasp for air while clutching at his throat.
"Oh? Did I forget to wear my lipstick?" asked Ivy innocently.
The second guard looked away from Harley, only to receive a blackjack to the face. The third guard whipped out his wand at pointed it at Narcissa just as the Joker tapped him on the shoulder from behind. The guard spun around only to be hit with the Joker's 'Laughing Gas'.
"Well… at least one went down with a smile on his face." laughed the Joker, picking up the guard's wand and pocketing it.
"I could have iced all three of them before they could've moved." sighed Frost in a bored tone.
"Don't feel left out, my dear." sang the Joker. "There will be plenty inside to keep you busy."
The Joker pushed open the gate then held it, motioning them through.
"Come on ladies! The sun will be up soon and we must not keep Lord Black waiting!"
~~~Ace~~~
Narcissa crouched low to the ground next to the wall of the prison, waiting for Harley and Frost to return, while Ivy leaned against it. She noted that Ivy blended perfectly with the green moss that adorned the stone building; her magical cloak turning the same exact shade of green. No matter how much she blended though, it was not hiding the glares that she was giving the Joker.
"What's taking them so long, Joker?" hissed Ivy.
"Patience, my poisonous cohort." sighed the Joker. "Here they come now."
"All done puddin'." said Harley, skipping up to the Joker merrily. "The powder is spread along the perimeter of the prison."
"Did you encounter any guards?" asked the Joker, standing in the growing shadow of the mighty structure.
"Six," replied Frost, smiling as she walked up behind Harley "but they decided to chill out."
"And you say my jokes are bad… BLAH!" retorted the Joker.
"Can we get on with it before we're discovered… or is that part of your plan?" asked Ivy heatedly.
"But of course we'll get on with it!" replied the Joker. "But we are in Britain, so we must do it properly."
The Joker straightened his jacket then strolled towards the door to the fortress – Frost and Harley following close behind. Ivy huffed at the blatant insanity as she and Narcissa followed. The Joker knocked ever so softly on the door then waited.
"They must be out to tea." said the Joker after a minute had passed. "Harley dear, could you knock a little louder for me?"
"O-P-E-N U-P!" screamed Harley as she pounded on the door with her baseball bat.
"WHAT'S GOING ON –" shouted a guard, his wand drawn as he opened the door.
Ice shards pelted the guard and his fellow guards behind him as they fell to the floor.
"I do believe that they were trying to give us the cold shoulder." said the Joker as he stepped over the fallen guard. "Be ready, ladies. There are more guards to come and their Demented pets won't be far behind."
"Demented pets?" repeated Frost.
Frost did not need to wait for an answer as over twenty Dementors swept into the entrance way.
"Let's see if these 'Demented Pets' can get frostbite." mused Frost cracking her knuckles.
Just as Frost stepped forward to attempt to pelt the demons sweeping in before her with ice shards, Narcissa raised her wand and shouted, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"
A large silvery falcon soared out of the tip of Narcissa's wand, directly towards the Dementors, driving the gliding nightmares backwards. As she did so, the cloaks that she and the rest of her fellow 'Stormers of Azkaban' wore began to glow a pale white.
"Frost!" shouted the Joker. "Freeze those fireplaces! That's how they communicate with the outside world!"
Frost filled every fireplace in the entrance foyer with ice.
"Think of happy thoughts!" said the Joker gleefully. "Like deep frying bats!"
The group marched forward as guards and Dementors fled from their path; Frost freezing every guard in sight. When they reached the Maximum Security Ward, Harley 'persuaded' one of the guards to show them where Sirius' cell was once she had relieved him of his wand.
"They just don't make prisons like they use to." said the Joker, striding up to Sirius' cell. "What's this?"
The joker stared, not at a frail shell of a man like he had expected by all the previous examples that he had seen, but a large shabby black dog.
"It seems that we are too late." said Ivy. "Looks as though this Lord Black has already made his escape and has just as bad a sense of humor as you."
"No he hasn't!" exclaimed Harley, approaching the cell. "My sister Lily told me all about him! It's okay Mr Black. My sister was Lily Evans Potter."
Immediately, the large black shabby dog stood up. As the dog walked towards the cell door, it transformed into a full grown man with wild hair and even wilder eyes.
"Lily Evans Potter had only one sister… and you're not her." said the man with a voice that sounded like it had not been used in a long time.
"Oh, you're thinking of Petunia." said Harley smiling, as though it was completely obvious. "I'm their half sister, Harley. Lily treated me like a true sister while dopey Petunia pretended that I didn't exist. When Lily died, Harry came to live with me."
"Y-You have Harry?" croaked Sirius.
"Can we catch up later before we all join my dear cousin in his cell?" quipped Narcissa.
"Absolutely." interjected the Joker. "Frost… if you'd be so kind."
"Sure." said Frost. "Let's see if this cell door is ice proof."
Sirius stood back as ice filled the lock until it warped and busted. He quickly exited the cell that had been his home for the nearly twelve years and did his best to keep up with his rescue party.
"Sissy?"
A hoarse female voice halted the group as they made their way out of the Maximum Security Ward.
"Bella." breathed Narcissa.
"Well hello, dear cousin." croaked Sirius. "You're looking better than I would hope."
"I like this guy already." laughed the Joker.
"Take me with you." strained Bellatrix Lestrange.
"No chance!" hissed Harley. "You followed that maniac that killed my sister!"
The group continued on; Narcissa hiding her face as Bellatrix cried, "Sissy!" Bellatrix shook the cell door, but jumped back as one of the group reappeared in front of her.
"Your master wanted Harry Potter dead, correct?" asked Ivy.
"When my master returns, he will kill the brat!" strained Bellatrix.
"Did you know that moss is a plant?" asked Ivy, touching the moss covered wall.
Immediately, the moss magically grew up around Bellatrix; dragging her back against the wall and choking the life from her frail body.
"I love magical plants." sighed Ivy as she strolled to catch up with the group.
"Is that dog trick hard to do, Lord Black?" asked the Joker.
"Easier than it looks." replied Sirius.
"Well then… why don't you turn back into 'Black Rover' so that nobody sees you leave." said the Joker. "It'll be easier than stuffing you into a sack and playing Santa."
The Joker glanced over to see the large black dog bounding along beside him. Sounds ahead told the Joker that the remaining guards were preparing to try and stop them.
"Hope you got some sharp teeth, Rover." cackled the Joker. "Cause it sounds like we're in for a fight!"
The large black dog growled his response, causing the Joker to laugh insanely with glee.
Harry woke up and stretched, ready for the day to begin. It would be a special day and he could not wait to get going. The rest of Gryffindor would be stirring soon and he had to be ready. He tugged on his clothes, straightened his hair to the best of his abilities and whistled merrily as he headed down to the Gryffindor common room.
As Harry bounded into the common room, he found the twins up and waiting for him. They smiled devilishly in unison to let him know that all was ready. He smirked his response before taking his place next to the entrance of the girl's dorms. As the girls exited the dorms to head down to breakfast, several of them glanced at him before giggling or blushing at the look he gave them. When Hermione exited the dorms, he grabbed a hold of her arm and gently tugged her to one side.
"Harry!" shrieked Hermione in surprise.
"Morning Hermione." said Harry, smiling devilishly. "Sorry to surprise you, but I didn't want to risk missing you."
"What's going on?" asked Hermione, blushing slightly at the closeness to him.
"Wait with me until everyone has exited for breakfast." said Harry. "I promise I'll explain then."
Hermione nodded and waited with him until only Harry, the twins and Neville remained behind with her.
"Now will you explain what's going on?" asked Hermione.
"Happy birthday breakfast!" said Harry, Neville and the twins in unison.
Immediately, a table appeared in the center of the room filled with plates of breakfast food, colorful decorations and balloons. Hermione covered her mouth with her hands in shock and Harry could tell that she was on the verge of tears.
"Amazing what you can get done if you have the proper connections." said Harry, winking at the twins. "Thought an intimate breakfast with friends would be a nice way to kick off your birthday."
"Kick off?" repeated Hermione, wiping her eyes. "You mean there's more?"
"But of course!" exclaimed Harry, throwing his arms wide. "It's your birthday… and a special one at that."
"Turning thirteen isn't special." retorted Hermione. "At least not here in Britain or Europe."
"Ah," said Harry, wiggling his finger and dancing around "that's where you Brits think you got it figured out. You think it has to be a holiday to have a parade! Well… where's the joy in life if you don't celebrate every special moment?"
Harry was in full performance mode. Hermione, Neville and the twins were his audience – and he had them eating out of his hand.
"You should celebrate every special moment and make sure that the day always ends with a bang!" exclaimed Harry, waving his arms dramatically. "Mix a little Muggle trickery with a little bit o' magic and…" Harry withdrew his wand and tapped the table "VIOLA!"
A small stuffed bear appeared in the middle of the table. Hermione slowly reached over to pick it up and squealed with delight when she hugged it as it began to sing "Happy Birthday".
"It smells like cookies too." said Hermione smiling. "Where did you get it?"
"Yeah mate." said the twins in unison. "Where did you get it?"
"You two aren't my only only connections." smirked Harry.
"Is it enchanted to sing?" asked Neville, looking at the stuffed bear.
"No Nev. That be a Muggle trick." replied Harry, before mumbling "The real tricks are still to come…"
John Constantine sat in a small room that he called his 'Think Tank', drawing slowly on a Silk Cut; trying to come down from the previous night's strenuous activities. The weight of his responsibilities had been getting a lot more difficult to burden as of late. He had resorted to literally going underground, using an old abandoned WWII bunker for seclusion. The silence of the small room provided a peace that nothing else he knew of could offer him.
"Really?" said John aloud, releasing a steady stream of smoke past his lips. "You've given up on haunting Big Ben and now you've come to haunt me instead?"
"Hello John." said Batman, stepping out of the shadows of the doorway. "I wouldn't have bothered you if I didn't need your help."
"Figured you'd rely on old Rip to assist you in your 'obsession'." chided John, turning to face his uninvited guest. "You said so yourself that you find my side of the world distasteful."
"If memory serves me, the last time I was here I told you that every time I come here it's raining and somebody is dead." retorted Batman. "I went to see Rip, but something important had called him away. Anyway, anything new in London that might interest me?"
"It's going to rain all week and somebody just died mysteriously." replied John, smirking.
"Not funny." said Batman, looking about the small room at all the pictures taped to the gray stone walls.
"Who said I was joking?" retorted John, raising one eyebrow. "It seems that someone died yesterday of a very rare tropical poison... someone from the Wizarding world at that."
"I thought Britain's Wizarding world kept you at arms length these days." said Batman. "Why would they involve you?"
"They do." said John, taking a draw from his cigarette. "That doesn't mean that I still don't have connections on the inside. After all, I did graduate from Hogwarts with top marks before I snapped my wand and walked away to pursue more extensive magic."
"I assume you suspect Poison Ivy of the man's death." said Batman, staring hard at one particular picture. "Tell me, why would the Joker have her kill a Wizard?"
"Interrogation method." replied John casually. "You see, he was a guard at the Wizarding prison, Azkaban."
"Why would they want information about a prison?" retorted Batman.
"I can think of five reasons and none of them are good." muttered John. "Trouble is that none of them line up with the reason he came here in the first place. Then again, only a select few in the Wizarding world are aware of his connection to the Boy-Who-Lived."
John watched Batman very carefully as he continued to study the pictures on the wall; purposely not looking at John.
"Why develop photos in both the normal way and the wizard way?" asked Batman.
"You bloody well know exactly who Harley's nephew is." chuckled John, ignoring Batman's question.
"Wouldn't be very good at my job if I didn't." retorted Batman.
John rose from his chair and walked around so that he could look Batman directly in the eyes.
"Good at your job or your obsession?" asked John, not waiting for Batman to answer. "Bruce, you're out of your league here and so is the Joker."
"Underestimating me is always my advantage." retorted Batman darkly. "Underestimating the Joker is deadly. Don't believe me? Ask that wizard prison guard. Oh that's right, you can't."
"You're not the only one that can stop the Joker, Bruce." said John firmly. "Yet you continue to go out of your way to see him put back in Arkham. I don't hear of you chasing Mr Freeze all over the globe."
"Mr Freeze is no comparison to the Joker." growled Batman, starting to lose his cool. "You may think that he is out of his depth, but the Joker adapts. If he gets his hands on the secrets of Hogwarts, the world will burn."
"Agreed." said John smiling. "Don't get your cape in a bunch, Bruce. I'll help you stop the Joker from accomplishing whatever it is that he is up to. If making off with Harry Potter was his only objective, he would have already made his move."
Suddenly a silver cylinder in the opposite corner started to whistle; black smoke rising from the top.
"Damn." hissed John, staring at the object.
"What does that mean?" asked Batman.
"It means that he's adapting." sighed John, looking back at Batman.
"Harry, what are you up to?" asked Hermione as he held another door for her as they left Charms class.
"Why must it be that I am up to something just because I held a door for you?" retorted Harry, smiling.
"A door?" repeated Hermione, her eyebrows raising. "Harry, you've held every door, every chair and you had that special breakfast arranged for me this morning."
"I told you – it's your birthday." sighed Harry, shaking his head.
"You going to do all this for Neville, Luna and the twins?" retorted Hermione, smirking.
"Gonna be jealous if I do?" retorted Harry, causing Hermione to blush.
Harry smirked devilishly as they reached the bottom of the Grand Staircase and turned to head towards the greenhouses for Herbology. He looked back behind him to see Neville walking a few steps behind. Neville caught his gaze and nodded before striding faster to catch up.
They were sharing Herbology class with the Ravenclaws that morning. Harry had first thought that sharing classes with any house other than the Slytherins would be dull. To the contrary, he had discovered that each house was truly unique and interesting. Each house possessed at least one or two people that he could relate to, and most importantly, 'recruit'.
As both houses settled in for another lesson on the Mandrakes and their many uses, besides killing living creatures with merely their screams, Harry noted that one of the Ravenclaw boys across the room was acting peculiar. He was staring at Hermione as though she had done something personally to him. Harry tilted his head sideways as he examined the boy's expressions.
"His name is Terry Boot." whispered Neville into Harry's right ear.
"Does Mr Boot know Herm –"
Harry's whispered question was cut off by Professor Sprout calling the class to order. Everyone took out their magical ear muffs and placed them securely over their ears. Professor Sprout began the lesson, but Harry was too focused on Terry Boot to pay attention. The boy's facial expressions were shifting from anger to the same expression Red got every time he was trying to concentrate.
Harry glanced at Professor Sprout, but his attention was drawn back to Boot as he noticed the slow steady movements of someone trying not to draw attention to themselves. Indeed, Harry was the only one watching Boot as he withdrew something from his pocket and slid it under the table. Harry watched his eyes for any signs of danger.
Suddenly, Boot's eyes became unfocused and Harry saw the young boy whisper something. Hermione shrieked as her ear muffs flew off of her head, across the room and under the Ravenclaw table. As everyone stared at Hermione in confusion, Boot reached for his potted Mandrake. Realizing what was about to happen, Harry did the only thing that was guaranteed to save Hermione. He yanked his ear muffs off and shoved them onto her head just as Boot jerked the Mandrake from the pot; filling the room with an indescribable sound. Harry covered his ears with his hands before all went black.
Hermione was shaking from head to toe. She had been forced to wait outside the Hospital wing while Professor Sprout rushed Harry and Terry Boot to see Madam Pomfrey. The Headmaster and Professor McGonagall had shown up moments later; Professor McGonagall giving her a long hard look before entering the wing.
Hermione knew that she was going to be punished for her actions, but she simply did not care. She knew that she would be seen as overreacting, but in her defense she thought that Harry was dead. No, in her mind Terry Boot got off easy.
"Very fortunate that it was a young Mandrake, Albus." said Professor Sprout as the Headmaster opened the door to exit the Hospital wing.
"Indeed." replied Professor Dumbledore, glancing at Hermione and clearing his throat. "Professor Sprout, I believe it best that an anti-summoning charm be placed on all of your ear muffs. That way we can avoid any such incident in the future."
"I will do it at once, Headmaster." said Professor Sprout, glancing at Hermione.
Professor Sprout hurried away just as Professor McGonagall exited the wing.
"Ms Granger," said Professor McGonagall "you will be happy to know that Mr Quinn will make a full recovery. He does however require some rest, so he will spending the night here in the Hospital wing."
"Can I see him?" asked Hermione, standing up.
"You can visit him later." replied Professor McGonagall. "Right now, he is sleeping and we would like a word with you. You will accompany us to the Headmaster's office."
Hermione nodded as she glanced up at the age-ed Headmaster then back at her Head of House. She followed them down from the Hospital wing, stopping in front of a stone gargoyle.
"Lemon drops." said the Headmaster.
Immediately, the stone gargoyle leaped to one side to reveal a spiraling staircase. As they stepped on the staircase, it began to move; lifting them up to a landing above. Professor Dumbledore opened the door to his office and motioned for Professor McGonagall and Hermione to go inside.
As Hermione stepped inside, she marveled at all the magical objects that filled the room. It was a grand office, befitting a Headmaster, and she was sure that it would take hours of exploration to truly appreciate all the wonders that the room held. Unfortunately, she was sure that the 'Grand Tour' was not on the list of things to do today.
"Please have a seat, Ms Granger." said Professor Dumbledore, gesturing to a high back chair in front of his desk as he swept around to sit in his grand chair.
Hermione sat down as Professor Dumbledore examined her; his hands folded in front of him.
"Ms Granger," began Professor McGonagall, choosing to remain standing "Professor Sprout informs me that you attacked Mr Boot with a series of jinxes and hexes before having to be stunned. She did so, to prevent you from finishing what sounded to be like a transfiguration charm that would have changed Mr Boot into a worm."
"Forgive me, Professor, but I thought that he had just tried to murder me and had murdered my best friend instead!" exclaimed Hermione; her nervousness turning to anger. "What about Boot? Why isn't he in trouble?"
"Professor Flitwick will deal with Mr Boot once he is out of the Hospital wing." replied Professor McGonagall. "You are my student and your actions, while possibly justified, do raise some concerns."
"Concerns?" repeated Hermione, glancing at the Headmaster.
"Yes, Ms Granger…" sighed Professor Dumbledore "we have some concerns as to you and Mr Longbottom's change of demeanor since Mr Quinn's arrival."
Professor McGonagall shot the Headmaster a glancing glare before returning her attention to Hermione.
"A change in demeanor?" repeated Hermione. "How has my demeanor changed?"
"Might I remind you that you just attacked another student only less than an hour ago." retorted Professor Dumbledore, raising one eyebrow.
"Headmaster, Ms Granger did believe that Mr Quinn was seriously injured or worse." interjected Professor McGonagall.
"Professor McGonagall, you agreed with me only moments ago that this was not the actions of the Ms Granger from a year ago." said the Headmaster, as though reminding Professor McGonagall.
"I never said that I blamed Mr Quinn for her change in character." retorted Professor McGonagall, seeming to forget for a moment that Hermione was still present. "I only meant that –"
Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat to interrupt Professor McGonagall; reminding her that Hermione was still in the room.
"We can discuss this later, Professor." said Professor Dumbledore. "Right now, I would like to warn Ms Granger against any further outbursts of magic against a fellow student and to inform her that we do not hold her accountable for her actions this morning. There will be no punishment."
A giggle escaped Hermione's mouth before she could catch herself, earning a stern look from Professor McGonagall and a concerned look from the Headmaster.
"Excuse me, Ms Granger," said Professor Dumbledore "but did I say something amusing?"
"In a way, yes." replied Hermione. "Tell me if I understood you correctly, Professor. What it sounds like you're saying is that it was perfectly okay for Boot to try and do me in. It also sounds like that my retaliation is being overlooked because I have been somehow emotionally damaged by Harry." Professor McGonagall attempted to interrupt, but Hermione pressed on. "Now unless it is due to the fact that Boot is of a higher blood status than me, being that I'm Muggleborn, and he is above reproach for having a bit of sport with my life – what other assumption should I come up with?"
"Ms Granger," sighed Dumbledore "I was not going to mention this to you for I did not want to burden you, but you leave me no choice. Mr Boot had traces of a very powerful mood altering potion in his blood."
There was a long pause as Professor Dumbledore stared at Hermione hopefully.
"And you think that Harry gave him the potion?" asked Hermione incredulously. "Are you mad?"
"Ms Granger, the Headmaster never said that he believed that Mr Quinn –"
"But he insinuated it!" exclaimed Hermione, interrupting Professor McGonagall. "I ask you, why would Harry want to do me in then risk his life to save me? How could he have gotten a hold of such a potion to begin with? How mad is this conversation?"
"Ms Granger!" shouted Professor McGonagall. "Control yourself!"
"Don't worry, Professor." said Hermione, standing up. "I won't tell Harry what was said here today. I will have a hard enough time convincing him that Boot has suffered enough as it is. With your permission, I'm going to go check on Harry in the Hospital wing. Without your permission, I'm going still the same."
"My apologies for upsetting you, Ms Granger." said Professor Dumbledore. "I was not insinuating that Mr Quinn would attempt to do you in, to use the earthy phrase. I was insinuating that someone might be trying to get at Mr Quinn through you and to be careful in the future. You have our permission to visit Mr Quinn."
Without another word, Hermione nodded then left the Headmaster's office. As she descended the spiral staircase, she felt as though it was carrying her away from her blinded views of the Wizarding world. Harry was right – being 'normal' wasn't for her.
Professor McGonagall took a seat in front of Professor Dumbledore's desk, holding her forehead with her hand.
"As you were saying, Minerva." sighed Professor Dumbledore. "Something is occurring that is influencing Gryffindor house. That something is Harry Quinn."
"Albus, I know that it would be easy to assume with Harry's background that he is causing the unrest in my house." retorted Professor McGonagall. "However, issues such as blood status divisions have been around for years."
"I did not say that Harry has created the issues." stressed Professor Dumbledore. "He is naturally antagonistic by his upbringing, thus he does not create issues – he fuels them. He finds the crack in the armor and exploits it."
"Assuming that you are correct – why would he risk Mr Granger's life?" asked Professor McGonagall.
"I have several theories." replied Professor Dumbledore. "None of which I am willing to share at this moment. The important thing is that we keep a closer eye on Mr Quinn."
"I understood why you brought him here and I still believe that he belongs." said Professor McGonagall. "However, if I may make a suggestion, Albus. It might be best for the entire school if you try to make him feel as though he belongs."
"I agree." sighed Professor Dumbledore. "Young Harry was raised as an agent of chaos. If we are not careful, he may burn our world to the ground – literally."
The doors to the Maximum Security Ward burst open as Narcissa and Frost pelted the guards with spells and shards of ice. Dementors glided in behind them, forcing Narcissa to focus her efforts behind them with another Patronus. Harley attacked the guards mercilessly with an array of gunfire and swings from her baseball bat; the guards casting spells wildly and missing badly. Black Rover attacked and mauled several guards while the Joker danced merrily down the stairs, dodging spell after spell; using two squirt guns to spray multiple guards in the face with his infamous 'Joker's Venom'.
They overcame the last of the guards quickly as they reached the entrance foyer to the prison; the Dementors unable to do more than hover in the shadows thanks to the combination of Narcissa's Patronus and the special cloaks that they had acquired. Ivy touched some of the vines that snaked up the inside wall, causing them to instantly grow up the staircase and form a green wall; blocking any remaining guards from escaping.
As the rescue party burst out into courtyard, Frost sealed the doors to the prison behind them with blasts of ice. They turned to make a break for the outer wall to find to figures standing in their way.
"Just when I thought that this day couldn't get any better!" exclaimed the Joker with glee. "It's Johnny boy and the Bat – risen from the grave!"
"You're not going anywhere, Joker!" growled Batman.
"You know that I'd love to stay and chat, Bats, but I'm really on a tight schedule." bantered the Joker. "Frost, if you would, put these two on ice!"
"With pleasure." cooed Frost, pelting Batman and Constantine with ice shards.
Batman dodged the ice shards while Constantine used rune stones to conjure a miniature dust storm that sent the shards back at their would-be attacker; forcing Frost to conjure an ice wall to protect them. Joker sent several razor sharp playing cards in Batman's direction, forcing him to use his cape as a shield. To the Joker's shock and dismay, his playing cards bounced off of Batman's cape. To his delight, vines erupted from the earth, ensnaring Batman's arms and legs.
"Seeing you all tied up makes me wish I had the time to play Pin The Tail On The Bat," cooed the Joker "but alas I must be off. Besides… I wouldn't want you to miss out on all the fun I have planned!"
"You're not going –" began Constantine as he made to stop the rescue party; pausing at the sight of the large black dog bounding his direction. "A BLOODY GRI – AHHH!"
Constantine fell backwards as Black Rover leaped over him, heading for the unguarded gates beyond; vines erupting from the ground beneath Constantine and bounding him from head-to-toe.
"Time to make our exit!" cackled the Joker. "Harley! Light 'em up!"
"Sure thing, puddin'!" replied Harley happily, pulling out a long silvery object and tossing it onto the powder that had been spread around the prison.
At once, the powder began to hiss and wail as large puffs of red smoke filled the air. Suddenly, flaming beasts sprung forth – rising up from the where the powder had been. The fiery beasts roared before lashing out at the prison walls with flaming claws and lashing tails.
"LOOKS LIKE A HOT TIME IN THE OLD PRISON CELL!" laughed the Joker insanely.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" shouted Constantine, looking on in horror.
"Fiendfyre." retorted Narcissa coldly. "Cast in a magical circle. May all within burn forever."
As the group ran off towards the gates, the Joker's sickening laugh could be heard echoing through the clouds of black smoke that was quickly filling the island.
Hermione sat quietly beside Harry's bed watching him sleep. Her rage and guilt burned silently within her chest. The very idea that Harry might try to harm her was ridiculous and enraged her, to say the least. The Headmaster denied that he was insinuating that Harry might do so, but she knew what he had meant. She also felt guilt that it was him in the hospital bed and not her.
"It's not your fault, Granger." said Joseph Wilson as he stepped seemingly out of nowhere.
Hermione didn't care for his sudden appearances, nor did she fully understand his and Harry's new – whatever it was. All she knew was that over the last week or so, Joseph had become a frequent guest at unexpected times. This was the most open setting that she had seen him acknowledge her or Harry in yet, though the only other people around was Madam Pomfrey and an unconscious Terry Boot. She had told him several times to call her by her first name, but he continued to refer to her as "Granger"; as though first names were too personal.
"Oh, hello Joseph." sighed Hermione. "You're wrong though. This is my fault."
"Explain." retorted Joseph, folding his arms.
"Boot was after me." said Hermione. "Harry should have never put his ear muffs on me."
"Quinn has great reflexes and good judgment." said Joseph. "He has chosen his friends well since he arrived, including the brightest witch in Hogwarts." Hermione blushed a little as she looked up at Joseph. "So think, Granger, why would Boot attack you?"
"I don't know if it's safe –"
"Madam Pomfrey is sleeping peacefully, Boot is drugged and I placed an early warning ward on the wing when I arrived." said Joseph, interrupting Hermione. "Feel at ease to speak freely."
"One day you'll have to explain yours and Harry's relationship to me." retorted Hermione, frowning. "For now, I trust you only cause I trust Harry."
"The feeling is mutual." bantered Joseph. "I'm sure that Quinn would be happy… make that giddy to explain our relationship. For now, think of me as his private tutor."
"Well in that case," sighed Hermione "the Headmaster said that Boot was given some sort of mood altering potion. He also insinuated that Harry might have been behind it."
"Not surprising on both counts." said Joseph, conjuring up a chair to Hermione's amazement. "Boot is terribly boring on a good day, so the potion explains things. The Headmaster is leery of Quinn due to his upbringing, though the idea that he would harm you is mad – even for Professor Dumbledore. The fact is, Quinn had gone through a lot to make this a day to remember for you."
"What do you mean?" asked Hermione.
"Well for starters, I know that with Professor Sprout's approval, Quinn and Longbottom had arranged for all the flowers in the greenhouse to change into buttercups at the end of the lesson." replied Joseph, rubbing his chin.
"I love buttercups." whispered Hermione, wiping a tear from her cheek.
"Yes," groaned Joseph "well the rest of the day he was going to have many more surprises for you. I believe though that your attempted murder has shot them to bloody hell."
"Why would someone want to harm me?" retorted Hermione. "I'm just a freak in this world. I'm not worth the effort."
"You're no longer a misfit or a freak, Granger." said Joseph quietly, leaning close. "You're a threat. You know Quinn's birth name. You know what they called him before he arrived. You know who raised him. He's not what anyone was expecting. The dark and the light both fear what he might do. He has no lack of enemies. You, Longbottom, Lovegood, and the Weasley twins are the only ones here that he trusts or cares about. You're a weakness and Quinn lying here in this bed proves it."
"I don't want to be a weakness." said Hermione, biting her lower lip. "What do I do?"
"Strengthen him by strengthening yourself." replied Joseph firmly. "If Quinn doesn't have to worry about you, then he'll be just… uh… well… Quinn. And trust me, that's more than anyone will want to deal with."
The Joker cackled merrily as he and his triumphant crew, plus one Black Rover, bounded through the magical wall and into the alley from which they had started.
"Well now, that went well." cooed the Joker, leaning up against the alley wall.
"Don't get too bloody comfortable, Chuckles." said Sirius Black, morphing back into his human form. "Aurors will be headed this way quickly after what you just did."
"Sorry, Lord Black, but I always take time to savor my triumphs." said the Joker, pretending to smell his lapel flower.
"Sirius is right." said Narcissa. "Aurors will probably be here any moment."
"Back to the safe house then!" exclaimed the Joker.
Narcissa pulled an old shoe out of her pocket and tapped it with her wand, activating the portkey.
"The magical world is just like an amusement park!" exclaimed Harley, as they all touched the shoe, including a reluctant Frost, before spinning off into nothingness.
They landed in the middle of the safe house sitting room with a thud; Frost and Harley both falling down on impact. Sirius extended a hand to Frost, who examined it like it might bite her, before accepting his offer.
"Hey puddin', why don't you ever help me up when I fall down?" asked Harley, pouting.
"He's a Lord and a proper British gentleman." retorted the Joker, smirking devilishly before adding "And I haven't been locked up for twelve years either."
Sirius casually took a seat on one of the larger couches in the room, making himself comfortable.
"You seem to be right at home, Lord Black." surmised the Joker. "I would have expected you to be a little less at ease in the company of total strangers."
"Like you said, Chuckles, I've been locked up for twelve bloody years." retorted Sirius casually. "Besides, why would you rescue me just to do me in?"
The Joker laughed merrily as he dragged a large chair to the center of the room then took a seat facing Sirius. "I like you, Lord Black! But please, call me Joker." The Joker rubbed his hands together. "Now, let's all get comfy, shall we? We have a lot to discuss. Not too comfy though, Ivy dear."
Ivy shot the Joker a cold glare before taking a seat on the couch on the opposite side of the room. She patted the cushion next to her and Narcissa sat next to her. Harley hopped up on the arm of the Joker's chair and Sirius motioned for Frost to join him.
"Don't get any ideas, Lord Black." said Frost coldly as she accepted his offer. "I'm not only cold – I bite."
"I can bite as well." retorted Sirius, smirking.
"Stop… please." grumbled Ivy.
"Dear cousin," said Sirius, turning his attention to Narcissa "a lot has changed since we last saw each other." His eyes shifted to Ivy. "Where is your dear husband?"
"Oh that is a long story." interjected the Joker. "Before your dear cousin dives in, I believe that introductions are in order!"
"Save the introductions for later." barked Sirius. "Where's my godson? Where's Harry?"
A/N: For better or for worse, I'M BACK! Hope you enjoyed the new chapter. No beta, so any mistakes are mine. Please review! I enjoy reading your reviews as much as enjoy writing.
I enjoyed writing this chapter, but I had to dust off the old comics and do some research. Wanted to put together a plausible Joker Goes To Azkaban. Sorry it took so long.
Pop Quiz: Does anyone know which British DC villain was nicknamed "The Baron"? (No Cheating! Yes, Google is cheating.)