Chapter Twelve
~Christian~
I'm losing my mind. Ray and I have been in this hospital room for nearly eight hours. I'm pacing like a caged lion. Ray's as still as a stone in a chair beside his daughter. We've watched her unmoving form all night. Anastasia is still asleep due to the Dilaudid she received in the emergency department. She re-gained consciousness in the ER and told the doctor this 'episode, as they're now referring to them, was the worst one she's ever experienced. They did another CT scan and the neurologist on call compared it to the last one she had and said there had been no changes. That was frustrating and also welcome to hear. Nothing is getting worse, but nothing is getting better either. Everyone has the same question that no one dares ask: is Ana going to be plagued by these for the rest of her life?
Ray and I insisted Ana be admitted so that Dr. Berman can see her. She isn't going to like that when she wakes up. I'm not known for my patience and waiting for her appearance is driving me crazy. I offered to have one of my security guys to take Ray back to Escala so he could at least change out of his tux, but he vehemently refused. He's also gruffer than he's ever been in my presence and I'm beginning to sense that his bad attitude is directly aimed at me. I just don't understand why.
Last night, Anastasia was moved from the ER to a room on the neuro step-down unit. She's in a room that's at the very end of the hall to ensure complete privacy, and where security can stand outside of her room without disturbing other patients and their families.
Taylor, Sawyer, and Parson are positioned by the door. Ryan's in a waiting room right by the elevators; he's in street clothes to blend in. Reynolds is somewhere near the front entrance of the hospital and Wilson is out back. It sounds like too much; I don't think it's enough.
Sitting at the bar last night, I recognized what was about to happen when I felt her go limp. I stood quickly to keep her from meeting the floor. I would have died if her head had hit it. She was immediately in my arms, while I yelled at everyone to get the fuck back to give her some breathing room.
Sawyer was beside us in the blink of an eye. He was already on the phone with 911. When we were at the hospital, Sawyer told me that he instantly knew what was happening, since he's seen every episode that Ana's had. He told me that he can tell by looking at her eyes. That's the reason Taylor employs men like Luke Sawyer. I've already told Taylor to add a ten grand bonus to his next paycheck.
Finally, the door to Ana's room is opened, but it's not Dr. Berman. It's the ball buster nurse who cared for Ana when she was on this unit months ago. I can't believe this shit. I'm not going to enjoy going nose to nose with Nurse Nora and I'm positive that will happen. She curtly greets us and then proficiently takes Ana's vitals without waking her up. She scribbles in the chart in her hands.
"Everything all right with my daughter this morning?" asks Ray.
"Yes, and I expect that Dr. Berman will be here shortly," she replies. Nurse Nora walks to the sink, washes her hand, and bids us goodbye.
Ray rubs his temples and I wonder if he has a headache. He's giving nothing away. "She's a crusty one, isn't she?" He stands and looks out the window.
"Yeah, but I think she's a good nurse. My mother says so, at least. But I like being in the know, and not understanding all of this medical shit pisses me off," I say, sitting back in a chair beside Anastasia.
"I'm right there with you, Christian. I'm proficient in all things military, and anything to do with power tools, otherwise, I'm lost." Ray takes his place in the other chair by Ana's bed. "I wouldn't be so upset if Ana remembered something after she has these episodes. Shit, it seems like they happen just to make her suffer," he mutters.
"Last night scared the hell out of me," I admit.
"Annie hasn't been herself, even though she's trying to pretend that she is. She can't fool her old man, though," Ray says.
I look across the bed at Ray. "What do you mean?" I ask, alarm bells ringing.
He looks at me skeptically. "Do you believe she's really well? If so, you'd better take a closer look, and I'm not saying that to be an asshole. Ana's down and out, then you add the magnitude of those sons of bitches that are on the loose. It's been weighing on her since she opened her eyes in that ICU, and now it's physically affecting her," Ray replies.
I lean my head back and blow out the breath I'd been holding. "I know. I'm hoping that the anti-depressants will begin to get her in a better place emotionally, and hopefully, she'll feel stronger to fight all of this."
"All of this?" he questions. "Yes...all... of... this…" he draws his words out sarcastically. I find him staring me down. "She's scared shitless, and obviously, it's making her ill." Ray leans forward, placing his forearms on his legs. I can't read his expression.
"Christian, I want to know more about this Leila Williams. Don't try to bullshit me either. I think there's more to what you're telling everyone." Ray's tone is hard. He's pissed off. "I've kept my mouth shut up until now, but a person doesn't go to such lengths to kill someone unless they've got one hell of a grudge against them," he goes on. "And, Christian, we'll have a problem if you tell me it's none of my business. It became my business when she went after Ana." He stares me down.
Where in the hell is this coming from? I don't know how to answer him, because telling him the full truth isn't going to happen. Leila and I parted amicably, and after the contract ended, I'd thought nothing of her, until she tried to use my name on a fucking loan application. She broke her NDA, and I followed through on what she'd been warned against.
"Listen, Ray, I have been honest. I don't understand why this woman has done this shit. A time came in the relationship where we both felt like parting ways, and I never heard a word from her after that," I answer, and thankfully, that part is true. I'm just not disclosing the type of relationship, or that loan clusterfuck.
Ray Steele is still staring at me. His face is like granite. He's furious, and I know that he doesn't believe me.
"So, she was fine with losing the perks of being with Christian Grey? Even if it was in the shadows?"
Whoa
I raise an eyebrow and run my hands through my hair. I can't believe that Ray is asking me these questions or acting this way. He's never said that he's doubted me, or what I've told my family, and the police. The man has had plenty of opportunities to question me when we're alone. This is new and honestly, disturbing.
"The perks?" I ask, despite knowing what he's referring to.
Ray snorts. "Your money, Christian. Leila Williams, and all of those other women that Ana told me about. Are you going to tell me they didn't mind when they no longer shared the bed of a billionaire?"
Jesus Christ. What's going on with him? Ray suddenly stands, and I immediately follow. It wasn't an aggressive move on his part, and he doesn't seem combative, but I'm truly shocked to see him behave like this. Maybe it's because he's been awake all night, but this isn't the Ray Steele that I know.
No, he's the Ray Steele that can't take watching his daughter suffer, whether it be from my past or the aftermath of her attack, and he's ready to step in and take care of her, along with the problem.
"I'm thinking it's best if I take my daughter back to Montesano," he says. He clenches his jaw.
Like fuck, he is. I'm about to lay into him when a hoarse voice gets our attention.
"Christian?" Dad?" Ana's sleep laden voice croaks.
We both smile at her, not acting like one of us was about to take swing on the other. I bend down and kiss her forehead.
"How are you feeling, baby?" I keep my voice soft and low as I perch myself beside her on the bed.
Ana slowly takes in her surroundings and rubs her eyes. "Sleepy. They admitted me?" She clears her throat. An annoyed expression is now on her face.
"Yes. We insisted on it, Annie. That episode you had last night was the worst one you've had. I'm done screwing around with your care," Ray says, causing me to look at him.
He's staring at me. What's his fucking problem?
If Ana notices the tension in the room, she doesn't act like it. "Dad, the scan was normal. All I needed was some pain relief," Ana replies exhaustedly, sitting up in the bed. Her green hospital gown engulfs her.
"We also want Dr. Berman to check you out," I tell her.
Ana kicks off her tangled blankets. She's scowling.
"Oh, don't you say you didn't have me admitted so Dr. Berman would have to come check me out. You could have taken me to her office." She looks upset. Angry, even. "I don't think that's even necessary anymore. What happened was more of the same. It looks like I'll need to get used to having them," Ana says bitterly.
"Annie, I made sure Christian got that doctor to see you today. I want answers."
Ana squints at Ray. "Dad, you know as well as I do that there aren't any answers. Berman and Marshall told us when I had the first one. They can't do anything," she tells him."
"Is your head still hurting?" I ask her, gently stroking her hair. I want to calm what feels like volatile hostility rolling off of her.
She shakes her head no and pulls away from me. What the hell? She's upset with me, too?
"No, I'm just sleepy from whatever drug they gave me," she snaps. "Did you two spend the night here?"
"Oh, Miss Steele, you know the answer to that question." I reply.
Ana's face suddenly crinkles and she begins to cry. "Daddy, I'm so tired of this," she cries in his arms.
Like a child would probably be, I'm jealous that she chose him to hold her.
He's comforting her when the door opens.
My morning just got worse. It's my family, with Kate in tow. For a bunch that were drunk as hell last night, none of them look worse for wear. Without reason, I glare at them. I haven't had any time with Ana, and here they are, making sure that I don't.
Ray let's a still crying Ana, go. Mother rushes to her and my siblings and Kate stand at the foot of Ana's bed.
"Oh, darling, stop these tears. Let me hold you." My mother's soothing voice breaks through my troublesome thoughts. Mom's wearing a white cashmere dress and her hair is pinned up. She must have come here from church. I know the rest of these idiots didn't go with her.
Mom holds Ana, strokes her back, and is murmuring something softly in her ear that I can't hear. Ana slowly nods and wipes the tears from her cheeks. Then she looks at everyone else in the room and that scowl is back on her face.
"What are you all looking at? I'm not an animal in a zoo, you guys," she bites at them. She looks at each in turn. She's glaring.
Again, what the hell?
We all play off her unpleasant words and attitude with nervous laughter. Eyes are darting between Ana and I. She's not looking at me, so I shrug my shoulders to let them know I don't know why she's in such a mood.
Kate walks around Mom and flops on Ana's bed, jostling her.
"Watch it, Kate! Jesus, you'll hurt her," I snap.
Sometimes I wonder if Kate has regard for anyone other than herself.
"God, Grey-" Kate begins.
"I'm fine, Christian," Ana interrupts me. "It's not like I'm physically injured."
Eyes return to darting between the two of us. I stare at Ana in confusion. If this is a side effect of that pain medication, I'm never letting her take that shit again. She's acting possessed.
"Down, girl," Kate says. "Do you feel better? You scared the shit out of us." She tries to put a lock of Ana's hair behind her ear, but Ana pulls away from her, like she did with me.
Ana sighs. "The only thing I am is tired. There's absolutely no reason for me to be in this hospital bed," she exclaims, quite loudly, once again taking us all by surprise. "Christian, get a nurse. I want to go home and get in my own bed right now."
Mom steps closer to Ana. Concern all over her face. "Ana, dear, you'll probably be able to go home once Dr. Berman checks you out." Mom's using that soft and comforting tone of voice that she used with me when I wouldn't talk.
Ana rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "Fine. Guess I'll have to stay in this bed until Berman feels like gracing me with her presence."
Her attitude has to be from not sleeping off that medicine, or the medicine itself. Ana would never act that way to my mother. Mom is still looking at Ana kindly and doesn't seem to be bothered by it. Kate and Ray, on the other hand, are staring at Ana and frowning. Obviously, they're wondering about Ana's behavior and overall attitude. I see that Elliot is looking at her curiously, too. Before Ana can rip anyone's throat out, the door opens and Dr. Berman strolls in smiling. I assume it's Ana's chart she's holding.
"Good morning, everyone. Ana, you've come back to see me. Although I enjoy your company, I'd rather you stay out of this place," she tells Ana calmly, flipping through the chart.
"So…You told the emergency room doctor that this episode was worse than all the others, as well as being, how did he put it? She looks down at the chart. "Oh, yes. You told him it was 'different'. What did you mean by that? Dr. Berman asks her.
Ana is perched up straight in the bed, a surly expression on her pretty face. She's looking around the room and probably thinking everyone should get the hell out. I know that I am.
"I said that it was worse because it was worse," she says. Ana takes a deep breath before continuing. "It was more painful and this time I knew it was about to hit me before it did. How can I describe this? Quicker, it hit me quicker. You know about the change in my vision, and that's another thing that changed."
Dr. Berman gives Ana the neurological once over and doesn't ask her to elaborate about her vision. I wish that she would because I want to know. What does she mean?
"You know we think these are stress related. Were you under any stress last night?" she asks.
Ana shoots a quick look at my mother and doesn't answer.
"Yes, Ana was. We were at a party and-"
"I was asking, Ana, Mr. Grey," she interrupts me.
Elliot puts a fist up to his mouth and coughs; the fucker is trying to hide his laugh.
Ana purses her lips and looks back at Mom, then back to Dr. Berman.
"Yeah, I really didn't want to go to the party. I didn't feel well. I've been out of sorts. I just wanted to stay home and rest. Also, it was so overwhelming." Ana peeks at my mother, who is smiling at her. "I'm sorry, Grace," Ana tells her.
"No need to be, dear. It would have been perfectly fine with me if you'd stayed home."
For some reason, Mom gives me a dirty look.
"OK, you were stressed out, but, Ana, you know that I can't give you a definite answer to what's causing these episodes. I think the only guarantee I can give you is that these occurrences may stop happening, or they won't." Dr. Berman sounds so matter-of-fact and nonchalant that I feel like strangling her.
"Dr. Berman, Ana's CT scan was unchanged, correct?" Mom asks.
"Yes. I even looked at it twice."
"They aren't going to stop," Ana starts, sounding resigned. "I'm just going to have to live in uncertainty."
Ana's defeated tone alarms me and I look at her. I really look at her. Dark circles under her eyes. Her very pale face. She looks exhausted and is listless. Have I really been so busy between finding the fucking lunatics and GEH that I've not noticed how ill she appears? I keep my mouth shut to give her privacy and turn to watch Dr. Berman turning over pages in Ana's chart. She stops and looks to be deep in thought. Her brows are furrowed. She looks over at Ana, who's looking blankly in front of her. Ana's mute, and everyone is staring at her. It doesn't seem that she notices.
"Hmm…" Dr. Berman hums to herself. "Do you know why they didn't start an IV while you were in the emergency room?" she asks Ana expectantly.
Why would she need an IV? What the fuck is going on? What the fuck is wrong with Ana?
"You're dehydrated. Haven't you been drinking?" Berman asks her.
Ana says nothing.
"Ana? Are you still with me?" It sounds like Berman is demanding an answer.
Ana exhales and looks at Dr. Berman. "Yes, I'm with you."
"What's wrong with Ana?" I start. "Ana, haven't you been drinking? I saw you drinking ginger-ale last night." My words are rushed and I feel like panicking.
Ana then looks at me and shakes her head. What the hell does that mean? The room is completely silent. Ray looks worried and I'm nearly pulling my hair out.
"Dr. Berman, I'd like to speak with you privately," Ana tells her.
"What? Why, baby? What's the matter?" I ask, sounding like a child to my own ears.
"Please, Christian. I just want to talk with her alone." She sounds exasperated.
I'm thinking of every possible illness that Ana could have and I'm pissed off that she doesn't want me in the room. Why should have they put in an IV? Ana's eyes find mine and she shakes her head. What does that mean?
"Baby, you can talk to Dr. Berman in front of me," I say, squeezing her hand. I really don't want to let go of it. Ana holds my gaze for a moment or two and slowly shakes her head again.
Stubborn woman.
"I know that I could, Christian, but I don't want to. It's nothing bad, I promise. I'd just like some privacy." Ana looks around the room. "I don't mean to offend any of you."
Mom stands. "Sweet girl, we understand. We'll be back if you feel like visitors," she tells her, supremely pissing me off.
"Come everyone. Let's give our favorite patient some time with her doctor." My mother's eyes are on me. Great. I won't be winning this argument.
"Are you sure, baby?" I persist. Ana exhales deeply. "I'm positive. Really, it's fine," she replies.
Kate reluctantly gets off the bed. She kisses Ana on the top of her head. "We'll come back when you're ready, Ana Banana," she says, although I hear a tinge of apprehension in her voice. We lock eyes for a second and then she follows everyone out.
I'm still at Ana's side, and she looks at me, annoyed. Her eyelids look ready to close.
"Please?" she pleads. I swallow and quickly kiss her cheek.
"OK, baby." Looking back, I smile at her as I close the door. It feels like there's a fire pit burning my stomach and I throw my bow tie in a trash can.
Everyone has gathered outside Ana's door and no one looks like they know what they should do. Taylor and Sawyer step away to give us space. I don't know where Parson is, and now, I don't give a fuck.
Naturally, it's Kate who opens her mouth first. "What do you think that's about?" she asks, looking directly at me.
Like I fucking know. "Why are you asking me? I'm as clueless as you are," I snap.
"Because this shit is all I think about, Grey, that's why!" she exclaims quietly. "You were in there, too." Kate points to the door we just exited. "Ana doesn't act like that."
"Hush, the all of you. Perhaps Ana is just exhausted and wanted a bit of breathing room. Just because she wants to speak with her doctor alone doesn't mean something horrible is wrong. And please, keep your voices down. You're in a hospital," my mother admonishes us.
Ray rams his fists in his pants pocket and grumbles about going to the cafeteria to get some coffee. I tell Sawyer to go with him, but the pointed look Ray gives me, causes me to let him go alone. Once he's out of earshot, Mom looks at the rest of us sternly.
"There's a small seating area around this alcove. How about we all go take a seat. I'd like to have a word with you all." She's talking while walking away. No one answers, but we all fall in line, even Kate. I suddenly feel like a kid about to get a lecture from my mother. Elliot is looking at me with a big grin on his face. He must feel the same way.
Mom sits at the back of the room and we follow suit, staring at each other cluelessly. Her back is ramrod straight and I know we're about to get an earful.
"This concerns how all of you behaved last night," she starts. "I realize alcohol played a part, too much alcohol, may I add. However, I do not appreciate being the mother of rude children. Regardless if you are all adults, I won't tolerate overtly rude behavior. Especially in my home."
We once again look at one another in confusion.
Elliot raises an index finger in the air. "Mom, forgive me, but what in the hell are you talking about?"
Mia's eyes are wide and her lips are a thin, white line. I know she's trying not to laugh. Kate's watching with amusement. She must be excited to watch Mom hand Elliot his ass.
Mom raises an eyebrow at him. "Mind your language Elliot Trevelyan-Grey! I am referring to the way you all treated Elena Lincoln last night. I watched the way you treated her when she came to speak with you, and I am appalled at how rudely you treated her," she says, outrage in her tone. "However, I realize that you children, along with your father, don't particularly care for Elena, but she's my friend, and I was mortified by your actions. You, Elliot, turning your back on a woman. And, you, Christian. You didn't even turn around to say hello. I raised you both to be gentleman."
I'm counting to ten and have the urge to vomit. Hearing my dear mother declaring that Elena fucking Lincoln is her good friend rips me in half. How did I ever think it was OK that Elena was my mother's friend after what we'd done.
Shame floods me.
Mia is the first to speak, scoffing before she does. "Alcohol didn't play a factor in our behavior towards Elena Lincoln, Mom. We just 'don't particularly care' for her, we don't like her. Never have and never will. She's given me the creeps since I was a kid, and in my opinion, only clings around you so our brother will feed money into her salons." She's pulling a string on the sleeve of her UW sweatshirt.
I don't bother giving Mia a dirty look because I know she's right.
Mom's mouth drops open. "Mia, I have been friends with that woman since you were all children. Our friendship is not based on your brother doing business with her." My mother is staring at me.
"Listen, Mom, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you last night, but none of us like her. I can't emphasize enough how much we really, really don't like her. Maybe I was ruder than usual, but I can't stand the woman. Actually, I don't care if I offended her," says Elliot.
Mom doesn't stop. "There isn't any excuse for being rude, young man, and I won't have it. What am I going to say to Elena if she mentions how rude you all were to her last night?
Elliot shrugs his flannel covered shoulders. "Tell her we can't stand her."
He says it so bluntly, and in a way that only Elliot can, that it's impossible not to laugh. Well, for me, Kate, and Mia not to laugh. Mom, on the hand, looks incredulous and furious.
"I will reiterate that you will demonstrate the manners that I instilled in all of you." Mom points a finger at me and then Elliot. "You will like a gentleman, and treat all ladies with respect."
Kate, who's dressed in jeans and a 'Grey Construction' sweatshirt, is sitting behind Mom. When our mother implies Elena is a lady, Kate makes a show of gagging herself with a finger down her throat.
Mia is barely containing her laughter. "Mommy, that woman isn't a lady. She talks in that insincere, friendly voice and is so fake it's ridiculous. She also needs more color in her wardrobe," she manages to say between giggles.
"For God's sake. I can't believe I'm discussing manners with my adult children. Honestly, I can't. Your father is respectful towards her," Mom continues to argue.
Elliot's dragging both of his hands through his hair and I can tell he's barely holding his anger in. My brother may act childish at times, but he doesn't like being talked to as if he is a child.
"Mom, I'm sure Dad treats that woman respectfully because she's your friend. But I promise you this; I'll do my best to never interact with Elena Lincoln again. Problem solved. But I've never been a hypocrite about her. Just ask your other son," Elliot says, nodding at me. "Christian knows what I think of him handing her money hand over first."
We lock eyes. An understanding passes between us, but I still glare at him for putting me in the line of Mom's fire. His expression is bland. He couldn't give a fuck how I feel.
"I'm sorry we offended you last night," he continues, "I hope no one else noticed, but I'm not going to apologize for turning my back on Elena Lincoln."
"Grace," Kate starts. "I won't play nice with that woman either, and trust me, she doesn't expect me to. Hitting on my father didn't please my mother, and it doesn't please me either,"
I'm inwardly rolling my eyes. Elena was hitting on Eamon Kavanagh to quiet the gossip concerning the lack of men in her life. She is all too aware partaking in BDSM isn't something that would go over with the blue-bloods.
It was all for show, Kate. It was all for show.
"Oh! And don't forget that Ana doesn't like her either, and that girl is a saint," Mia tells Mom, causing my gut to clench.
Fuck, Mia, fuck.
"Are you talking about Christian's birthday? The dinner when Ana jumped up and left?" Kate asks. Now she's staring at me, too.
"I'm assuming you're asking me," I address them both. Mom is paying close attention.
"Yes, Christian. Ana never explained what happened that night to me," my mother replies. "I tried to reach Ana several days to find out what was wrong and I could never get her on the phone. Kate, don't you remember I asked you, and you told me that Ana was ill?" she finishes, looking Kate in the eyes.
To her credit, Kate doesn't look away. "I do remember. Ana had the flu and that's why she left like she did," she replies. She doesn't try to hide the insincerity in her voice. Or maybe she wanted to sound insincere?
I can feel Elliot burning a hole in the side of my head. I don't bother looking back, because my attention is on his girlfriend.
"Don't forget the dinner for Mr. Grey's birthday," Kate also says. "Ana abruptly left then, too." Kate's tone is bored. Her face, when she looks at me, however, doesn't appear that she's bored.
What does Miss Kavanagh know?
Elliot rolls his eyes and stands. Good thinking, bro. Let's put an end to this family discussion.
"Maybe Ana is like us and feels the vibe that the woman is a witch. Who really cares? Can't we just drop it and go get some coffee?" he asks.
As I go to stand up, I find the women in my life aren't ready to let this go.
"Oh, yeah, Dad's dinner party!" Mia exclaims, looking right at Kate. "Ana said Elena made a rude comment to her about her job-"
"That's true!" Kate jumps in. "The old hag, sorry Grace. Ana told me that Elena was disparaging a book editor's salary. She also said that your friend was implying that Ana was a gold digger after Christian's money."
Mia and Kate haven't broken eye contact and it's making me very curious. It almost feels like they're playing a game. It's making me very uneasy.
Mom looks appalled, while my siblings and Kate almost look…satisfied?
What really happened at both birthday dinners was that Ana left because she told me she refused to eat dinner beside a pedophile. She said that she couldn't sit at the table with Mom, knowing that her so called friend had fucked and beat her son for six years. Ana knew it was wrong from the beginning, yet, I never gave it a second thought for twelve years.
I haven't had contact with her in months, but Elena is still causing discord in my life.
"Christian! Is that true?" Mom's eyes are as wide as saucers.
"Come on, Mom. Let's just drop this. We don't like Elena Lincoln. We were rude last night, and now you've properly chastised us. Can we drop it?" Elliot asks again, doing his best to clamp off the direction this discussion is taking.
"Absolutely not. You should have told me that Elena made such insulting remarks to Ana. She knows Ana is like one of my children. What I find odd is she's never said an unkind word about her. Elena always inquired about Ana while she was in the hospital, too. She still asks about her from time to time," Mom replies.
I nod, acquiescing, and hoping this topic is never spoken of again.
"Duly noted," I reply.
Our mother frowns as she looks around at all of us. "I'm dropping this for now, but I stand by what I said about being rude to a lady. I am, however, dumbfounded that Elena would be so catty to Ana. I'll let this subject drop…for now," she tells us.
I turn, following the others when Mom stops me in my tracks.
"Christian, sit. I want to speak with you privately."
Elliot turns around, looks me in the eyes, then keeps walking. After they all scuttle away, Mom moves to the chair right next to mine. She gazes at me for a few moments looking very serious.
"Christian, I expect you to be honest with me," she begins.
"Concerning?"
Mom sighs. "At the time, I didn't bring this up because Ana was in the hospital. I've always kept my nose out of your business affairs with Elena, and I appreciate how you helped her get back on her feet after Linc left her so abruptly," she begins, and I want to crawl underneath a chair.
"What I want to know is why you pulled your money out of the salons?" she asks me.
Somebody, kill me.
"I didn't pull out my money, Mom. I gifted my shares to her. Meaning, she made a pretty penny. Why? What has Elena told you?"
The unease I was feeling is back. I don't know where this is going or what she's been told.
"Well, naturally, Elena didn't tell me right away since it was just after Ana's attack. But I was still surprised. It was only months before that you and Elena were at the house discussing opening a new salon, and suddenly, you've withdrawn your financial help. Mia and Elliot can't stomach her at all, but you've always been the exception," she tells me. "This leads me to wonder if the two of you had a falling out."
"You didn't say what Elena told you," I say in my attempt to find out what lie I need to go along with.
Mom just stares at me. She knows all too well what I'm doing.
"Christian, don't play games with your mother. Elena told me that you completely surprised her by signing your part of the chain over to her. She expressed concern by the action and said you didn't even contact her to let her know you were going to do so," my mother says in a low voice. "After talking it over, we agreed Ana was the only thing on your mind at the time, and that's why you didn't contact her." Mom pauses. She pauses for a long time. "However, Elena said the paperwork had been drawn up and signed prior to Ana being hurt. I know that I'm prying Christian, but what happened?" she finishes.
Fucking Elena just had to run her mouth to my mother. I shouldn't be surprised. What I'd done with Esclava wasn't meant to be a secret. I didn't give a fuck. I still don't.
But now, I find out she's whined to my mother about it, and then asked about Anastasia like she gives a shit.
Bravo, Elena.
"I looked into the financials of the salon, and felt Elena didn't need my backing anymore. Business wise, it was pretty cut and dry."
Mom raises an eyebrow. "Business wise? What about private wise? I'll reiterate that not only did I watch your siblings and Katherine disrespect Elena last night, I watched you do the same. And Christian, if anything, you're the consummate gentleman, and you'd been in a close business relationship with Elena for years. That should have been enough of a reason to speak with her," she starts. I can tell she's angry. "Don't dance around my question, young man, What happened between you and Elena?"
OK, Mom, she started fucking and beating the shit out of me the week after my fifteenth birthday. Your good friend fucked your son for six years, and he never saw that having her remain in your life was despicable until he met Anastasia. Is that enough information?
"Mom—"
"Christian," she counters.
If I give my mother some grain of truth that she brings up to Elena, I know it will piss Elena off, although, she'd would never out the relationship we had. She wouldn't dare expose herself.
And I really don't give a fuck if I piss her off.
"Dad's birthday party wasn't the first time that Elena was rude to Ana. In fact, it occurred several times, and I never . . . I didn't defend Ana properly. She believed that I always made excuses for Elena's bad behavior. The main excuse was that I was in business with her, along with her being your friend," I tell her. "As I said, I also took a look at what was going on with Escala's financials, and ended our business and personal relationship," I say, all the while watching my mother's expression morph into anger.
"Truthfully, even if Ana hadn't been hurt, I still wouldn't have discussed ending business with her. I don't respect her, and I don't like to do business with people that I don't respect. That lack of respect is why I didn't, and will not, stand up to greet Elena, if, and when, I ever see her again."
My mom looks shocked. "Son, why didn't you or Ana ever come to me with this? I wouldn't have ever allowed Elena in my home knowing she was treating Ana so horribly. I know she can be brash, but how can anyone not like Ana?"
Another loaded question that I don't want to go near.
"No idea," I reply.
"This is so bizarre. I've never heard Elena say a bad word about Ana, and she's inquired about her health and recovery."
"Maybe she asks because she's nosy," I answer.
Mom throws me a dirty look. "Christian," she begins to scold me.
At that exact moment, I catch Nurse Nora headed to and entering Ana's room.
I stand, but Mom grabs my arm. "Do you want to come to the cafeteria with me? I'm sure that's where the rest went. Leave the nurse and good doctor alone for the moment."
I shake my head and my mother quietly laughs. "Then sit back down and wait to pounce on the next poor soul that leaves Ana's room."
I'm halfway to my girlfriend's room before Mom is finished talking.
Taylor and Sawyer take a step away to allow me to enter, but I shake my head. Ana asked me to leave, and I refuse to just barge back into the room – for now, anyway.
"Do you need anything, sir?" asks Taylor. From the look of him, he doesn't appear as though he's been up all night. I'm sure I look like hell, and here Taylor and Sawyer stand, not a wrinkle in their dark suits.
"No, I'm good. I'm just sick of waiting."
Leaning against the wall, I'm digging my palms into my eyes and hoping to hear a single noise coming from Ana's room. It's crickets. And now fucking Elena's existence is probably going to pose a problem in my life. I know Mom will confront her about Ana, which in return, will undoubtedly cause Elena to finally try to contact me. I've been lucky thus far when it comes to that woman, but now, I'm betting that luck has just run out.
If these shit episodes Ana is experiencing are stress related, did seeing Elena last night set this one off subconsciously? I've chewed on that theory since it happened. I was afraid Elena would spark something in Ana's mind the second I saw her approaching us. Up until now, I haven't considered Elena a threat to Ana's memory re-surfacing and well-being. I haven't thought of Elena at all.
What the fuck am I going to do if she rears her presence in my life again? Yeah, I was never able to tell Ana that I was done with Elena before she lost her memory - but I did get rid of her - and even though Ana isn't aware of that fact, I am, and have the proof to show her.
I won't break my promise to Ana. Fuck, Elena. She'll be kept ten miles away from Anastasia.
I hear Kate before I see my siblings walking in front of her.
"Is the doctor still with Ana?" Kate asks.
"Don't you think I'd be in her room if she was?" I retort.
She tosses her hair back and rolls her eyes. Elliot must sense that my impatience and irritation is about to be unleashed on his girlfriend, because he puts his arm around her waist and pulls her to his side.
"Could you guys hear the girl fight at the nurse's station? Hell, I hoped I was going to see a nurse on nurse smack down," Elliot says, a huge grin on his face, one that disappears when Kate hits him on the back of his head.
"No." I look at Taylor. "Do you think one of the guys should check it out? I don't want any fuck up's concerning Miss Steele's safety."
"Jesus, Christian, it was only a couple of nurse's arguing. Chill." El says, then throws back the last of his coffee and tosses it in the nearest trash can. "One of those nurses was hot," he says, because he doesn't know when to let a sleeping dog lie. His comment once again earns himself another hit on the back of his head from Kate.
"El, you didn't see her face. Her back was to us. You don't know that she was hot," Kate snaps.
"Maybe I couldn't see what her face looks like, but her ass was tight in those blue scrubs," he replies, laughing. He moves out of Kate's reach so she can't hit him this time.
"Well, that nurse should have just shown her ID badge, and it wouldn't have gotten so heated," Mia pipes in, looking like she couldn't care less.
I look over at Taylor. His expression lets me know he's thinking about something.
"One of the women didn't have any ID on her?" he asks Mia.
"No. Well, I don't know. That's what they were arguing about, though. And out of nowhere, the chick in blue took off," she replies.
"Miss Grey, can you describe what the woman who ran off looks like?" Taylor continues.
"I'll tell you what she looks like, Jason," Elliot starts. "She has a hot little body—"
"For fuck's sake, Elliot. Quit talking about how hot she is and tell us what she looks like," I exclaim.
"Christian, we could only see her back. She had on blue hospital scrubs, and her hair was braided. She was a brunette. Petite, little thing, wasn't she, Kate?" Mia says.
"Mia, I wasn't paying that much attention, but that sounds right," answers Kate, who is still throwing daggers at my idiot brother.
And I know. And I know. I just fucking know.
Before I can make a move to head down the hall, Taylor is already ordering Sawyer to the nurse's station and for me to stay where I'm at.
"None of you saw her face? Her profile?" Taylor barks loudly, which causes Mia and Kate to jump.
"No, no. Why? What's the matter?" Mia asks loudly.
"Mother fucker, she wouldn't dare show up here, would she?" Elliot asks, looking between Taylor and me.
Now, he gets it.
"Taylor, get fucking Ryan on this. Get to the elevators. Now!" I'm running my hands through my hair at a furious pace.
"I am, sir," Taylor replies. He hates it when I tell him how to run his security guys.
"Elliot, take Kate and Mia to where we were earlier. Don't let them leave." I gesture to Mia and Kate. Against the loud protests of his girlfriend, Elliot leads her and Mia down the hall to the alcove where we were all sitting. I hear Mia and Kate questioning Elliot at a rapid rate.
Turning, I see that Taylor is on two cells informing his guys that Leila Williams may be in the hospital, and has actually made it onto Ana's floor.
I'm furious beyond reason and we're not even sure it's her. I'm shaking from anger. If that goddamned bitch…
Luke comes jogging back down the hall and is nodding. He looks madder than hell.
"I questioned each of the nurses. The charge nurse was questioning the woman dressed in the blue scrubs. She'd never seen her on this unit. Each nurse I spoke to work this unit exclusively, so they spotted a new face right away. The charge nurse asked who she was and once challenged, the woman ran off. Says she took the stairwell. I called Ryan and Reynolds to both make it to the stairway," he says through gritted teeth.
"I know. Neither saw her," Taylor replies while texting someone.
"Was it her?" I ask, even though I know it was from Sawyer's behavior.
Sawyer's expression is grim as he nods. "Yes. I showed her picture to all of the nurses and they positively identified her," he replies, then his jaws clench.
"Fuck!" I yell, roughly pushing the trash can across the floor. "How in the hell did that bitch know Ana was here?"
"She's stalking her, sir," Taylor replies matter-of-factly. "I've texted a guy I know at the PD, but my guess is that it's in vain. You know once the barn door is already open— "
"Yes, Taylor, I fucking know! Mother fucker! This bitch is either batshit crazy or fucking stupid. Since she's obviously watching Ana's every move, she fucking well knows that she's surrounded by security. Did the bitch think we wouldn't notice her?" My voice has grown very loud, along with my blood pressure.
I'm going to strangle the life out of that skinny witch.
"I don't recall her being crazy, sir. Quiet, yes. Crazy, no," Taylor answers me. "Luke, stand to watch down the hallway. I don't think Williams will be back up here, but since she's pulled this stupid shit, I'm not putting anything past her."
Elliot has moved from behind the corner and is staring at me with his eyebrows raised. I know that he's asking me if it was Leila. I nod, and he mouths, "What the fuck?" I can only shake my head as I watch the fury spread across his face. Elliot takes a few deep breaths before heading back to Kate and Mia. I don't know where Mom and Ray are at.
Ten or so minutes later, Taylor and I are still in deep discussion over how Leila isn't being spotted following Ana. How has she evaded Parson? He's been trailing Sawyer and Prescott's every move when they're with Ana, to see if he can catch sight of Leila following them. It looks like that plan didn't work out the way we had hoped.
"Google Alerts."
Taylor and I snap our heads towards the person that whisper hissed behind us.
Kate.
"What?" I grunt.
Taylor rubs his forehead and swears under his breath. "Miss Kavanagh, you might be right," he mumbles, grimacing.
My head swivels between the two of them. I'm clueless. "What the fuck are you two talking about?"
Kate huffs. "Grey, I've been trying to figure out the same thing you guys are. How did Leila Williams know Ana was in the hospital? Well, Grey, for some reason, people think you're interesting, and they set you as one of their Google Alerts. So, every time Seattle's mogul does anything remotely newsworthy, which I think is never, Google alerts the masses. I'd bet your money that this loon has a Google Alert set for you. Once when the press caught wind of Ana leaving last night's party in an ambulance, Google began to buzz, and she saw it." Kate looks very pleased with herself.
"Taylor?" I ask, already knowing his answer from the look on his face.
"I agree that it's a good possibility, sir. It makes perfect sense. After all, it's a given the majority of the guests at last night's party ran their mouth about what happened to Miss Steele. Once word got out, it spread like wildfire."
"Well, someone in the emergency department must have talked or Leila wouldn't have known what unit Ana is on. Did every fucking clown down there sign an NDA so they couldn't talk?"
"Grey, I can't believe you're the son of a physician. There's a law called HIPPA. Healthcare workers are strictly held to that law and aren't allowed to break the confidentiality of a patient. You, and your NDAs, don't trump HIPPA," Kate replies.
She acts like I'm the dumbest fuck on the planet and I'm beginning to think she's right.
"I'm sure that housekeepers and the like aren't held to the same standard, Kate."
She shakes her head. "Shit, Christian, does it really matter? No, it doesn't. The only thing that matters is that I walked right by the cunt who is out to kill my best friend. Study some more on—"
The door to Ana's hospital room opens at that very moment, and Nurse Nora, walks out and shuts it.
"How's Miss Steele?" Kate asks, beating me to the punch.
"You'll have to take that up with Miss Steele," she replies. Her response hits me with uncertainty and fear.
"Does that mean that something's wrong?" I ask, or rather, exclaim loudly.
Nurse Nora glares at me. "I can't disclose information concerning my patients unless instructed otherwise," she says, then just walks away.
"Such a pleasant woman, isn't she?" Kate asks sarcastically.
I can't take any more of it. I'm ready to put my hand through a wall due to the overwhelming shit storm this day has become.
I don't know what's going on with Anastasia, and I fucking need to see her. I need to see if she really is OK.
"Fuck it. I'm going in there." My words escape through gritted teeth.
"Christian, no!" Kate reaches to grab my arm, but I quickly move so she can't touch me.
It takes me two strides to reach the door. I begin to open it slowly. The words I can just barely hear cause me to stop when the door is opened just a crack.
The vehemence in which they're spoken, their meaning, and the fact that they're coming out of Anastasia's mouth cause my body to freeze.
"I said no, and you can't change my mind," she says, her tone glacial.
"Ana, listen to reason. You're tired and were given a strong dosage of a narcotic last night. Sleep this off, and discuss it with him with a clear head—" Dr. Berman starts.
"Why did they even run that test? I didn't ask them to do that. I wasn't here for that."
"Doctors order them for a woman of childbearing age who is going to have X-ray's, CT scans, and the like, to rule out pregnancy. You were out of it, and that's why no one asked you. I'm surprised they didn't ask Christian," Dr. Berman replies.
"Oh, God! This is the last thing that I need. It's the last thing that I want! I'm not telling him. He'll feel the exact same way as I do," Ana whispers.
"Ana, just calm do—"
"I am so sick of people telling me to calm down! I don't need to calm down, Dr. Berman."
"Ana, I think you're in shock," Dr. Berman replies.
"Wouldn't you be?" Ana shrieks.
"Yes, how you're feeling is natural—"
"Oh, here we go. 'Ana, your feelings are natural considering what you've been through.'" Ana says sarcastically.
"I'll go and tell everyone that you need to rest, OK? Get some sleep, and you'll wake up with a clear head," the good doctor says.
I hear Ana scoff at that remark. "I haven't had a clear mind in months, Dr. Berman. I don't need to sleep on this. I don't want it. Christian won't either, so there's no need in telling him. He doesn't ever have to know, and I know you can't tell him," Ana hisses.
"Ana—" Dr. Berman is still trying to get a word in.
"How can you be sure?"
"I told you. They ran a serum hCG test, Ana, and it was positive."
"I took that damn shot, and we waited, so the test has to be wrong," Ana argues.
"Why do you think I told Nora to have them run it again? It's not wrong, and according to the hCG in your blood, you got pregnant when the shot should have kicked in. Unfortunately, your shot may have come from a bad batch," Dr. Berman tells her.
"That sounds like my luck. I don't want it and I'm not telling him. If I do, he might try to make me go through with it like a 'good girl'. I'm not anyone's anything, much less a 'good girl,' and I don't have to keep a pregnancy I'm not ready for. I'm only twenty-two, for God's sake! I'm already a basket case," Ana continues. "I'm sure as hell not going to be his 'good girl' who…"
I'm frozen in place, like one of those ice statues from last night. I'm numb, and shocked to my very core.
This can't be real. It isn't happening and isn't real. My mind keeps stuttering the words that Ana is pregnant.
Anastasia is fucking pregnant. I got her pregnant because a damn birth control shot was ineffective. But what my mind is also stuttering about is that Ana, a woman who has always wanted children, is now adamant about not keeping this pregnancy, along with not telling me about it.
My Ana, this woman, and her mind are all so – not Anastasia. She keeps repeating she won't be a good girl.
His good girl?
Oh, fuck.
Ana has remembered when I would tell her she was a good girl during scenes.
Jesus Christ. When did she remember that?
She wants to hide things from me – my Ana never would – and I don't know what all she's kept from me. Like I have room to be angry over it if she has. I'm such a fucking hypocrite.
Christ, Anastasia's pregnant. She's pregnant and is so against keeping the child, that she wants to keep it a secret from me. She must have only remembered the bad times and is keeping it a secret for some reason.
Secrets. My secrets. Her secrets.
A child. Fuck, I can't breathe.
I squeeze my eyes shut and consider whether or not to enter the room. I can walk in and pretend that I didn't overhear their conversation. I can pretend that I don't know Ana has recalled me telling her she was a good girl when she would please me during a scene. One of the many scenes she hated herself for doing. Then I can find a way to finally tell her the truth.
The scenes sickened her. Is that why she doesn't want to tell me she's pregnant? Because she's only remembered the times she was trying to be my sub and was terrified of me? Ana has obviously remembered and doesn't want to have a child with a monster?
God, if she remembered that, please, please, please let her also remember how we reconciled and how I changed. Let her remember how much I love her.
But her words must mean that Ana's only recalled the piece of shit I was, and it has to be the reason she hasn't told me she's remembered.
I stand in place, not knowing what to do. I don't know what I want to do.
Do I want to be a father? No.
Do I want my twenty-two-year-old girlfriend to be a mother? No, and I would feel that way even if she was in her right mind. She's too young.
But God, it hurts to know Ana would abort my child without telling me she is pregnant. Oh, fuck me, I'm coming apart at the seams.
Right fucking before I'm allowed to decide what I want to do, Katherine Kavanagh fucking does it for me.
"Jesus, Grey. If you're going in, then I'm coming with you. Move it," she exclaims, pushing the door wide open.
My eyes instantly meet Ana's and hold their gaze. Hers are wide, they tell me how distraught she is, but I also see stubborn determination. The latter is far worse.
She's paler than before. Her lips have even lost their color. The longer we gaze at one another, I watch the truth wash over Ana because she can read me. She's aware that I heard the conversation between her and Dr. Berman. Her cheeks flush, yet she never looks away. The hostility flowing off of her causes me to look away first.
I watch Kate's tall figure march into Ana's room like she owns it.
"So, what's the verdict, doc? Is my bestie going to live or what?" she asks in a joking manner, then practically jumps onto Ana's bed.
Dr. Berman doesn't answer Kate. She's looking at Anastasia, whose gaze I can feel on the side of my face.
Kate must feel the tension in the room as she looks at the three of us with a crinkled forehead and narrowed eyes.
The room is still and silent for several moments before Ana finally speaks.
"Dr. Berman, will you and Kate leave the room, please? I need to speak with Christian." Ana's voice is soft, yet strong.
Neither say anything, but stand and quietly leave the room. Kate throws us a confused parting glance before closing the door.
I inhale deeply, walking to the chair beside her bed and sit down.
Instinctively, I swallow, and dare to meet her gaze.
It's unfaltering.
I don't know what either of us is about to say to the other.
I do know that this new life we've been making together has changed forever.
I also know that there's a possibility that the new life we've been making together has just ended.