Chapter Twenty-One

~Christian~

I can't do it.

I can't follow through on the plan I had for this evening.

I can't ask Anastasia to blindly walk into something monumental.

I can't.

I won't.

Elliot's words may have been the last straw that broke my fear of the truth. He didn't speak of anything that I already don't know. Like I thought while we were on the phone, my brother was simply holding a mirror up to my face, and he was doing it out of his love for me. Elliot's concern is also for Ana. He thinks of her as a sister. He loves her like she's his sister. I understand that.

I believe, and I know, that everything he told me was the truth.

Admittedly, I don't want to do this, but I owe it to Ana, and whatever happens after this is all said and done, I'll just have to live with the consequences. I'll ask for forgiveness, and if it's not granted, then I accept that. I won't have any other choice.

I found this resolve while the earth spun and I didn't get any sleep. I slipped out of the bed so I wouldn't wake Ana, set poolside, and thought. I've not made up a script of what I'm going to say. Nothing that's going to leave my mouth is premeditated. I'm not sure how to navigate this confession, but I'm just setting course from the beginning.

I can't fly Ana back to Seattle and allow for her to be blindsided by the truth of our past. She can't find out the truth about my past from any other person; I have to tell her. I can't allow her to entangle her forever with me if that forever has lies in its basement.

No.

This is over.

I have to tell her.

I can do it.

I sit on the bed, engulfed in its white bedding, and listen to the ocean that's a few steps away. Ana has just stepped out of the bathroom. She's fresh from a shower and her hair is wet and down her back. She's beautiful. I hate to do this. I'm angry at myself for having to do this here. I don't want her to think of this time and have angry and hurt memories. I wanted her to have memories that she'd always cherish.

But my actions have just said hello to their consequences and the cards of our lives will fall however they do.

Ana's eyes are wide. As always, I don't have a clue as to what she's thinking. I pat on the bed again and beckon her to sit by me. She does, looks at me, and says nothing. I don't touch her. Once I'm talking, she might not want my hands on her. I respect that. I meet her gaze, and clear my throat.

"Anastasia, I have to tell you some things. They're things about us. They're things about our past, and I should have told you about them when I told you about how our relationship began. I was wrong, I knew it was wrong at the time, and before I tell you, I want to apologize. I'm sorry."

She looks perplexed. "You're scaring me," she says. Ana looks around the large open room.

"I don't mean to. It's going to upset you, though. I'd apologize for that, but I know that you're tired of hearing me apologize. I don't want to lose you, but it's time to be completely honest. You deserve that."

Ana says nothing. She's assessing me. My heart rate has escalated.

"Tell me," she whispers. Again, her eyes sweep the room.

"I told you that an older woman seduced me when I was fifteen and introduced me to BDSM. That's the type of relationship that I had with her," I begin.

She's watching me intently and her eyes narrow at my words.

"Christian, what went on between you and that woman wasn't a relationship. It was child abuse," she says in a low voice. Her tone is indignant.

I nod. Ana's allowed to feel however she wants. I learned that during the months before she lost memory of them.

I don't address what she's said. I've got to vomit the truth. I don't want to argue about whether or not my years with Elena was child abuse.

"Can I tell you everything? I understand how you feel about that," I tell her. "But can we circle back to it after I've told you everything?"

Ana's eyes flash and I can see she's irritated. Obviously, I didn't say what she wanted to hear. She blinks several times and I hold my breath. Please, Anastasia. I don't want to argue.

Let me tell you everything.

Finally.

Allow me to enter the confessional.

She nods, and props herself on several pillows. I commit everything about her to memory in case she leaves me forever. Her green tank top. Her white terry cloth shorts. The way the scent of Jasmine wafts off of her body. Her bump that encloses our child. She's carrying and protecting our child. A child that I hope we'll raise together as a family. A whole, complete, and loving family. A family that I've no doubt would be happy.

I want to touch her so badly, but I'm afraid that she'll reject me. I think I I deserve rejection. The wind is softly blowing into the open room. The white sheers that serve as curtains dance around us.

"That woman is Elena Lincoln. My mother's friend. The woman who used to be my friend..."

Two long hours have passed and I've told Anastasia everything. She knows everything about my past with Elena. She knows that I still had a friendship and business relationship the months that she doesn't remember. I told her about the ultimatum she gave me and how I was never able to tell her that it was only ever her.

There was no debate between her and Elena.

I've told her all of my faults during that period of time. How I hurt her by not breaking ties with Elena. How I finally did break all of those ties when she was in a coma. Ana knows everything about Elena.

Everything.

I did my best not to cry when I told her what happened at Esclava the day she confronted Elena. Telling her how Elena told me that I should punish her, the way her words spurred me on when Ana asked me to show her how bad it could be, was one of the most painful things I've done. She didn't cry, though. She didn't shed one tear through it all. I don't know if it was because she was in shock or not.

Now, Anastasia knows it all. From the beginning to now is a wide open, blank canvas. It's up to her if we paint a future on that canvas.

I sit in a wicker chair that's in a corner of the bedroom. One leg is crossed over the other's knee. My chin is resting in the palm of a hand. My hair's wet from the shower I just took. White linen pants and a black t-shirt cover my body. I sit in silence. The villa is empty as I wait. As I wait for Anastasia to come back.

Once everything was out in the open – out from the blackness of secrets and lies of omission. – from outright lies and machinations behind Ana's back, she told me that she needed to be alone so she could think. She went for a walk on the beach. Sawyer is with her.

"Mr. Grey."

Taylor shakes me out of my musings. I hadn't heard him approach. He doesn't enter the room.

"Yes."

"The villa's concierge called and inquired if everything is still a go this evening," he tells me.

I check my watch.

Shit.

I don't know how long Ana's been gone. Also, I don't know where her head is at. I don't know what she's thinking.

Or wants.

Hell, I don't know anything.

"Tell them that I'll let them know within an hour."

"Sir."

Taylor disappears and I check my watch again. I debate if I should go and search for Anastasia and ask what her verdict is. Would that make her feel that I was pressuring her? I don't want to do that. I've taken too much from this woman and I'll not ever do it again.

So, I sit.

I sit.

I wait.

"Those missing months are what hurt me the most."

Ana's voice causes me to jump. I didn't know that she was back. I didn't know she was standing on the room's threshold staring at me impassively. I stand and give her my full attention.

She walks into the room and sits on the edge of the bed. Her shoulders and the tip of her nose are reddened from the sun.

"What exactly do you mean?" I ask in a low voice. I don't make a move towards her.

Our eyes are fixed. Then she closes hers and rubs her forehead. Does she have a headache?

Yeah, Grey, she does. You. You're her headache.

"The fact that you kept that woman around our life. That you did, knowing how I felt. I can't wrap my head around that," she says. Her voice is stronger than it was when we were talking earlier. She opens her eyes and she's staring a hole through me.

"I understand. Looking back, I can't believe that I did. At the time, I thought she was my friend. That isn't an excuse, Ana. What I did was wrong and I know that now. I would change it all if I could."

"I don't doubt that," she begins. "Your actions have reverberated throughout your life. And mine, and from what you told me, Elliot's life, too."

"I know. He's carried my secret for thirteen years. Now he knows the true nature of my relationship with Elena, and he's hurt and angry," I reply.

The minute I said the word "relationship" to describe my years with Elena, Ana pursed her lips. I'm waiting for her to call me a victim again. That's a word I'm just not ready to hear again.

"You can't blame him. I'm sure the minute you told him the truth about you and that woman, he blamed himself for not doing something to stop it. Truthfully, I'm surprised that he didn't."

I scrutinize her. I don't understand what she means about Elliot.

"What do you mean?"

"That doesn't sound like the Elliot that I know. I see how much he loves you, but I don't understand why he didn't do something to stop it back then. Surely he knew the age of statutory rape in the state of Washington, and even if that woman wasn't beating the hell out of you, it was still illegal," she replies.

"He was just a kid, Ana. He was only eighteen."

"Was he really a kid, though? Eighteen?" she says. "He was a freshman at Stanford. Most people know right from wrong long before they're eighteen and out in the world. Plus, before Kate, Elliot fucked half of Seattle; I'd guess he also fucked half of Stanford. He had to have known it was wrong. Wrong enough to tell your parents."

Whoa. This, I didn't expect.

"You sound like you're pissed at Elliot."

"I am," she admits and shakes her head. "Maybe I'm reaching to lay the blame on someone around you. I won't repeat what I think about you and that horrible woman, but Elliot dropped the ball on not telling your parents. I also question how Grace and Carrick were so blind."

She shrugs and looks around the room. I was surprised about Ana's opinion about Elliot. Her statement about my parents floors me.

"It wasn't Mom and Dad's fault. It was mine. I lied to them. I lied, and they believed me."

"Christian, a person looking in at your life as a teenager, and the adults around you, is going to question where they were. They'll wonder why your parents didn't ask why you didn't bring your new friends home. The friends you were supposed to be studying with." Ana rubs her baby bump. "I know that if this baby hits puberty and becomes so troublesome that he or she is constantly in fights, and is revolving high schools, a good report card wouldn't be enough to make me think the child had made a miraculous turn about."

Surprised, I sit back down in the wicker chair. "You're blaming Mom and Dad?" I ask her. She's thrown me for a loop with her opinions.

"I'm not blaming anyone other than that horrible Lincoln woman." Ana pinches the bridge of her nose. "I'm shocked, Christian. Anyone would be shocked and have questions. To me, it looks like the adults in your life failed you. That's just me looking at it. I wasn't there. How'd we even go down this lane? I was telling you how I felt about you staying friends with that woman while we were together."

"I know. Say what you need to. I'll keep my mouth shut if you want," I say.

"I've just been imagining the dynamic of that relationship and how I must have felt. I'm genuinely puzzled that you didn't see that she was a beacon of destruction. First, your family and later, our relationship," she replies, her hand hasn't moved from her baby bump. "I believe you were no longer as close to her as you were prior to our relationship, and I believe you were telling her to back off from trying to befriend me. I just don't understand why it took me giving you an ultimatum for you to finally cut her out of your life."

Ana's tone of voice is flat. It's almost resigned and I wonder what that might mean. I'm almost afraid to ask, however, I know if I don't, I'll live to regret it.

"Why do you sound the way that you do? It's like you don't care. You sound like you're done," I ask her. I feel nothing but panic. I don't regret that I told her everything, but I'm still panicking over what she'll do.

Ana's eyes fill with tears and I'm instantly alarmed. I want to pick her up and hold her in my arms, let her know that I love her and our baby. That I'd never do the things I did before Jack Hyde took her memory again.

"Christian, I'm not done with anything. I feel the same way that I did when you first told me about our past. Rather, when you told me what really transpired. I'm reconciling the man that I know, with the man you're telling me about." Tears are running down her cheeks. "It's confusing. Wouldn't you be confused?"

"I would be. I'm sorry that you are. I'm fucking sorry for keeping that witch in our lives, and I'm sorry for keeping all this shit from you. I'm sorry that you lost months of your life," I tell her.

It's all true.

From the pits of whatever it is that makes me a human being, it's all true.

Ana looks at me thoughtfully and exhales deeply. Her eyes wide, she opens and closes her mouth several times. The sun coming into the open space is burnishing her hair. She's beautiful. I want to kiss her sunburnt nose.

"Do you believe me?" I ask, sitting on the edge of this uncomfortable wicker chair.

She nods. "Yeah. Yes, I do. Why would anyone tell the person they love the things you've told me? It's hurtful, and I don't think you'd tell me bullshit in order to hurt me. I know you aren't malicious. The question is if there's any other secrets you need to share with me."

We're once again locked in a staring contest. Oh, how I want to run to her. She's regarding me with curiosity. I expected for her to look dubious. God knows she has every right to.

"No. There isn't. I understand if you're hesitant to believe me. But I've told you everything. I'm laid bare, Ana. I'll answer any question and do whatever it is to prove that I've told you everything." I hold out my arms. "If the tables were turned, I'd also have doubts, but I swear, you know everything," I admit. I speak emphatically. "I just want you to know, and to believe, that I love you vehemently. I've told you before, and I'll tell you until the day that I die, I never thought I was capable of feeling this way. I never thought it was possible until you."

Ana wipes her tears away with a bare arm. She ignores what I've just said.

"Is Elliot the only person who knows all of this? Other than me, that is." She asks.

"Elena does. But she doesn't know that Elliot knows. Of course, and unfortunately, she's aware that you know."

"And both know about you belting me?" she asks softly.

Fuck.

I know how I've hurt her.

I nod. "Yes. Like I said, I told her what happened after you left me. I didn't see her while we were broken up. She called me and I told her. I'm sorry. I know that I fucked up. Elliot didn't know until I told him when you were in the hospital."

"Did I push you to tell your parents about that woman before I lost my memory?"

"No. You did say that I wouldn't have kept the BDSM a secret if I didn't believe it was wrong. That was discussed heavily during our couples therapy with Flynn," I tell her. "Telling my parents was never discussed. Don't get me wrong, the fact that I kept it from my family was talked about. However, you never pressed me to tell them. That's the truth."

Ana stands, walks across the room, and looks out at the ocean. I watch her for what seems like forever before she turns around and looks at me.

"She's called you how many times?"

"The first time was when you answered my phone," I start. "She's called five times since. We can pull up my cell phone records and you can check if you need to. I've never answered, and she's never left a voicemail."

Ana nods and crosses her arms. "I won't lie. It hurts my feelings that Grace seems to have made up with the woman despite knowing how she treated me."

"I know your feelings are hurt. I don't understand Mom. Elliot can't either. It's not like her."

"I'm with Elliot. It's suspect that she's back in your parents' house, and that she's started calling you again after you cut her out of your life. Why'd she wait so long? It's strange."

"It's very suspect, and I have the same questions. Before I thought better of it, I considered just answering when she called to find out what the fuck she wants," I tell her.

"It's a good thing you didn't." Ana gives me a pointed look. "Unless I'm aware of it, hell, unless I'm with you, never call that woman. Do you understand?"

"Yes. As I said, the thought of calling her left half a second after it entered my mind."

Anastasia's arms are still crossed as she begins to pace the room. She looks as if she's in deep thought. She stops and looks me square in my eyes.

"Well. We have one thing to do," she says.

"What's that?"

"We've got to come up with a plan to rid your family of that woman."

My heart starts hammering. I wait for her to tell me that I've got to finally come clean with Mom and Dad. I stand up and walk half way across the room. I'm not too close. I'm not that far away.

"Do you have any ideas how we can do that?" I ask.

Ana licks her lips and shakes her head. "Not a single one," she says. "I think we can come up with something if we team up with your brother."

"I told you what he wants me to do."

"We could always kill her." I raise my eyebrows the minute the words leave her mouth. Ana laughs, but it doesn't sound genuine, and she's suddenly lit up like Christmas. "I'm kidding," she says. She doesn't sound like she's kidding.

She sighs and her shoulders slump. "So, what do you want to do, Christian?"

"About what? About that bitch?" I ask her.

"No. About us. What do you want from me?" Her expression is earnest and she sounds bemused.

I take a step closer to her. "I want you. I want you and our baby. I want us to be a family."

I hope my words sound as pure and clear as I mean for them to.

Ana meets me in the middle of the room. Our bare toes are touching. She nods, reaches for my hand, and strokes it. She looks at me and smiles. It's shy, knowing, and beguiling.

She moves away and grabs the straw purse she bought a few days ago. "Can you text Sawyer and tell him that I want to go to the spa?"

I say nothing. My fingers send the text flying and then I look at her.

She's smiling again.

So, are we done discussing this?

What's she thinking?

"I can't wait to see the guys miserable as sin in a spa," she says. "Do all four of them have to come along?"

"Yes."

She rolls her eyes at me and I narrow mine. She rolls her eyes again. I'm tempted to laugh.

The tension and anxiety walked in and left. Now I'm confused.

We wait for her detail. Within a minute, Sawyer appears with Parson, Reynolds, and Ryan. I watch Ana roll her eyes again when they all descend around her tiny frame.

It does look ridiculous.

"Miss Steele is ready to head out," I instruct them. "She's not to leave your sight, understood?"

They all nod.

"Yes, sir," Sawyer replies.

They part like Moses parted the Red Sea, and surround Ana. I watch them stroll out of the villa.

"Let's go get facials, guys." I hear her tell them, and I swear that I hear one of them groan.

I check the time.

There's more than enough time to still do this.

Question is, Anastasia's reaction?

Does she want this?

Is this something that I should even do considering how heavy the morning has been?

What's the worst thing she can say?

No.

I can handle that. I'll ask again sometime in the future if she turns me down now. She knows how I feel. She told me so. I know how she feels. She's told me.

Now that I've told her everything, I feel lighter and asking her won't seem like I'm trying to tie her to me while deceiving her. That was never my intention. I just wanted her and our child. I just want a family with Anastasia. Hell, even if she rejects me, we'll still be a family. I can accept that. I can understand that.

I check the time again. Only a minute has passed.

Shit.

I pull my cell out of my pocket and send Taylor a text.

Jesus. I hope Ana doesn't run into the army I have coming to make everything as I want it.

This has to be perfect, and at the very moment he sun begins to set.

An hour and a half later, I've showered off the nervous sweat that's been running off of me.

Fuck, I'm about to shit my pants. I'm barefoot, wearing a pair of loose-fitting khaki cargo shorts, and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

"Luke says they're on their way back with Miss Steele, sir. She'll be here soon," Taylor says.

I'd forgotten he was in the room with me and I was distractedly listening to him.

I look at him, and he looks ready to burst into laughter. He's obviously finding the state I'm in funny. I scowl at him, but it doesn't wipe the smirk from his mouth.

"Something funny, Jason?"

His amused expression stays in place. "No, sir," he replies.

I can't help it. I loudly laugh.

"Laugh all you want. You'll be doing this soon yourself if my instincts are correct," I tell him.

Jason raises an eyebrow, knowing all too well what I'm referring to. He grins.

"We know your instincts are rarely wrong, Mr. Grey."

"I like to believe so. Why the fuck am I so nervous?" I ask, running both of my hands through my still damp hair.

I check my pocket again and Taylor laughs at me.

I scowl, and then laugh with him.

His cell buzzes. He looks up with a grin on his face. "You've got five minutes," he says.

With that, Jason Taylor evaporates, and within seconds, Anastasia breezes into the villa, smelling like jasmine. Her long hair is wavy and flowing down her back, and her face is flushed. I quickly take in the light pink polish on her finger and toenails.

How appropriate to the colors I chose.

She stops in mid-stride, and I follow her eyes as they take in the room. The lights are all off, and only the soft glow of the clear and pink Christmas lights that are strung from the ceilings, illuminate the room.

They lead a path down to the beach, and if my plans go accordingly, we'll need them after the sun sets.

Nearly every off-white and blush pink flower on the planet fills the room. They, like the lights, trail down to the beach.

Ana whips around to me, eyes huge and gaping. Her purse has slipped off of her shoulder and is sliding down her arm. I watch as it unceremoniously hits the flower covered floor. I just stand gazing at her, marveling how more beautiful the room has become since she entered it. She blinks at me, and I make my way to her.

I look at her and tilt my head. I'm silently asking her if she wants this.

I'm asking if she's changed her mind after everything that she's learned today.

I think I get my answer when she says, "Christian…" Her surprised whisper trails off and a single tear runs down her cheek.

I hope that means she hasn't changed her mind.

Shit.

"I've been waiting for you. You look lovely," I murmur and take one of her hands in mine.

Come on, Anastasia. Give me a hint. Is this what you want? Do you want it today?

"This is lovely. It's so beautiful. How did you do this?"

Damn.

"Do you like it? The colors remind me of your blush."

On cue, her cheeks turn pink. "I more than like it," she whispers.

I allow my shoulders to drop from relief.

"I'm glad you like it. I was worried you wouldn't," I softly admit. "If this isn't the right time…"

I'm so afraid I shouldn't be doing this today.

"I don't like it. I love it. What is this?"

I use my chin to point to the other side of the villa. It leads down to the beach.

I can tell that the sky is changing and we need to make our way out.

"Come," I murmur, tugging on her hand and leading her across the room.

I stop before we step outside.

"Take off your sandals."

Mute, Anastasia kicks them off, and they clatter on the floor.

Okay. She hasn't stopped me.

I lead her out, and the way to the water's edge is lined with even more flowers and small lanterns. She gasps once we reach our destination.

I've created an altar from the same flowers that are interwoven with the Christmas lights.

I don't stop until we're beside the altar and our toes are touching the water. Ana's eyes don't know whether to look at me or the Zanzibar sky that's been lit alive by its famous sunset.

I gently squeeze her hand.

She still doesn't say anything.

I'm sure she knows.

Her silence has to be a good sign.

"The colors are amazing, aren't they?" I ask, looking into the sky.

"Inexplicably beautiful," Ana whispers.

We're surrounded by endless shades of burnt orange and flaming red. The colors cocoon us and cover the crystal blue water.

"This sunset is the sole reason I brought you here. I wanted you to see something as beautiful as you, but once I was here, and saw it myself, I'm convinced that nothing in this world is as beautiful as you," I tell her.

And it's true.

I glance at her and can tell she's holding her breath.

There's a look of awe on her face. I look back at the sky as it changes, because the world is slowly turning.

We stand, holding hands, in silence while the earth does its job, and the burnt oranges and flaming reds fade away.

Showtime.

"That has amazed me every evening. I'm so happy that you brought me here," I vaguely hear Ana whisper.

I take a step back.

She's still looking over the ocean.

I tug on her hand to get her attention.

My heart is beating so fast that I think I'm going to hyperventilate.

Ana turns her head, and in order to meet my eyes, she has to look down where I've sunk to one knee.

Her clear blue eyes are sparkling and tears are about to overflow.

That doesn't look like she thinks today wasn't the right time to do this.

She quickly covers her mouth with her right hand.

Thank Jesus it's her right one. I hope to fuck that I don't look like the terrified idiot that I feel like.

I'll never have another chance to do this, so I don't get a do-over if I fuck it up.

I swallow and hope Ana sees the sincerity in my eyes.

I reach into the pocket of my shorts and pull out the ring, looking up at her, trying to remember what I planned on saying to her.

What I need to let her know.

"Anastasia Steele, the sun, the moon, and the stars, all rise and set with you. I vow to fiercely love and protect you, now and forever. I will never hurt you again. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. Marry me?"

The words come out as I hoped. At least I didn't fuck that up.

I'm still tense and my shoulders are probably up to my neck.

Ana's trying to blink her tears away. I hear a choked sob from behind her hand, and her small shoulders shake.

The soft sound of ocean waves is like background music.

"Yes," she breathes after uncovering her mouth.

Thank fuck.

If you're real, thank you, God.

I sag from relief, and for some strange reason, feel shy.

I slowly slide the ring on her finger. Her hands are shaking. The ring, a flawless oval diamond set in a platinum ring.

Anastasia would kill me if she knew how much money it cost. But I would give away my last penny for her, if it made her smile.

She begins to cry, and I stand up to gather her into my arms. I'm overcome with emotions that I don't understand.

The angel in my arms is sobbing, and I start to kiss the side of her neck.

"I love you, Anastasia Steele. Thank you for saying yes. Thank you for having my child." It's only then that I realize I'm crying too.

"Christian Trevelyan-Grey, thank you for wanting me as your wife and the mother of your child," she replies.

On her tiptoes, she wipes my tears, before kissing both of my cheeks, my forehead, my nose, and then my mouth.

I pull her as close to my body as I can, and pour every ounce of love I feel for her into our kiss.

This woman is mine, just like I'm hers.

We were somehow destined to find one another. The paths of both of our lives led us to meet.

She's the other half of me. I will never love another woman. I will never look at another woman. I never want to touch another woman. There is no other woman.

Only Anastasia. It will only ever be Anastasia, and I will never hurt her again.

From now on, I will only give her the truth.

I'm so honored that she felt that I was worthy of her forgiveness after I confessed my sins to her.

I break the kiss and take a few steps back so I can see her. I have one more question.

"I have another question. An idea. If you don't think it's a good one, it will be fine. I'll understand. But I thought that it would be perfect to do it here." My words are a stuttering mess.

Ana looks confused. "What do you mean?"

"I'd like to get married here. Tonight. Now." There, I've said it.

She knows.

She knows she's got the power to gut me by saying no.

I really want to do this. Just like this, just us, and our baby that's inside of Ana.

Her expression is now blank.

"You want to get married right now?" she asks. She sounds bewildered.

I nod.

"How?"

"How, what?"

Ana rolls her eyes at me. "How can we get married now, Christian?"

I smile. Doesn't she realize that I can get anything done whenever I want?

"Because everything has been taken care of. If you want to, then we can."

She puckers her lips and frowns. "You have to have a marriage license, someone to marry us, and I don't have a wedding gown! You want me to get married in shorts?" Ana's words are a high-pitched exclamation, and she's wildly gesturing to the what she's wearing.

I take both of her hands.

"Anastasia. I've taken care of all of that. We have a marriage license and a minister to marry us. You'll find that back in the villa, there is a group of women who are here to help you get ready. Also, there are several wedding dresses for you to choose from. If you don't like any of them, I'll buy more, and keep buying them until you find one you love."

Her mouth drops open. I know she's questioning my sanity.

She's also probably questioning her sanity if she agrees to do this.

"What about rings? I don't have a ring for you," she breathes.

Good.

She's on board.

My face is hurting from the smile that's been plastered to my face.

"Taken care of. Literally, everything we need is inside."

She looks skeptical and my stomach clenches.

I soldier on. The worst she can do is tell me no.

"We can do it here. Get married. I'll be your husband and you'll be my wife. We'll be a family." I point to her stomach. "That little baby in there wants their mommy to have their daddy's last name."

She startles. "This isn't because I'm pregnant is it?"

What? It's my turn to roll my eyes.

"Anastasia, are you serious? This would be happening if you weren't pregnant. This was always going to happen. Our baby just makes it all the more special."

Her chin trembles as more tears begin to fall.

"Really?"

I nod.

"What about our families? They'll kill us both," she tells me.

I shrug. "I have a photographer. They can look at the pictures."

"Christian! We were going to tell them about the baby when we got back. Now they're all going to think we only got married because I'm pregnant."

"No, they won't, Ana. Once we say we're expecting a baby, everyone is going to go batshit crazy and won't care if we got married without them. You know if we go home engaged, Kate and Mia will go into wedding hysterics, and drive you crazy."

She stares at me thoughtfully.

"They'd want us to get married in front of every person that we've ever met. Mia would make us have the wedding in some giant cathedral, and I imagine a horse-drawn carriage involved somehow," she says, trying not to laugh.

"And instead of this lovely pink that's the color of your blushing cheeks, Mia would have the wedding draped in hot pink. Maybe your wedding gown, too."

"Don't I have paperwork to sign?" she asks.

"Paperwork? We only have to sign the marriage license."

Ana's shaking her head. "No. A prenup. We can't get married without a prenup, Christian."

I try not to scowl at her like I did at my personal lawyer when I changed my will before we left Seattle. He thought I was crazy for not wanting a prenup.

I sigh.

"There isn't a prenup, Anastasia. Do you really think I'd ask you to sign a paper that essentially says we both know we're going to get a divorce? That's what prenups are. They're fucking bullshit that greedy, rich bastards make their fourth wife sign. That's not us. That's not you. You aren't signing shit. My money will be our money. Your money. End of."

She's taken aback by my determined response.

Ana should know me better than that. The woman balks when I buy her anything.

"But what if something happens between us? I don't want any of your money."

"I know that, Anastasia. Let's drop it. You're really ruining the moment."

She blushes. "Are you sure?"

"Miss Steele, you know me. What do you think?" I ask, tilting my head to the side.

Shyly smiling at me, she nods.

"Good. Would you please honor me by becoming Mrs. Christian Trevelyan- Grey this evening?"

Come on, Ana. Show me that I didn't fuck up by doing this today.

"Yes," she replies without hesitation.

I grab her, swinging the both of us around, and making her squeal.

"Put me down! You're making me dizzy. I don't want to hurl on these pretty flowers."

I let her slide down my body, and once she's standing, I kiss her soundly. Breaking away, I push some wayward hair behind her ear.

"I think it's time to get ready for a wedding, Miss Steele."

Three long fucking hours later, I'm dressed, and back at the water's edge, waiting for my Ana.

The wedding band she chose for herself is a diamond eternity band. It suits her delicate finger.

My ring is a wide, plain platinum band. It took her a while to decide on it, but I don't give a shit if she wants to tattoo my finger as long as she marries me.

The minister, one of Christian faith, and our two witnesses, the owners of the resort, gather with me.

The minister gave me some advice on my wedding vows, but I already know what I want to say to Ana.

I already know that whatever vows Ana makes will break me in half. No one knows how to decorate the written word as beautifully as her.

After what seems like a lifetime, I catch sight of Ana as she appears on top of the sand dune that's littered with flowers.

My breath hitches. She looks beyond what I imagined and I nearly run to her. The only reason that I don't is that my legs feel like concrete. I'm completely mesmerized by her, and as she makes her way to me, I'm overwhelmed by the love I have for this woman.

It isn't the ivory wedding gown of silk, or whatever thin ass material that is, it isn't her long wavy hair, or the small bouquet of blush pink roses in her hands, that have caused my breathing to slow. No, it's this guileless and pure being, who's about to become my life's partner. Ana has literally taken my breath.

Once she's at my side, I deeply inhale her scent to memory. It's jasmine and vanilla. It's always jasmine and vanilla.

Her simple gown is a bit shorter in length in the front. It has two thin straps of fabric that cross her back and is thin enough to let me know she can't be wearing a bra. More importantly, it shows off our unborn child.

The only makeup Ana is wearing is lip gloss. She doesn't need to hide behind makeup; she's a natural beauty.

I'm sure I'm grinning like a dumb ass, and she's smiling broadly at me.

I want to touch her.

Ana reaches me and hands her bouquet to the wife of the resort's owner, who's beaming at us.

Minister Nayyr wastes no time beginning. "Christian and Anastasia, will you please face one another and join hands."

I practically jump in front of her. Ana laughs. We join hands, and I do my best not to break hers.

Minister Nayyr, an older man with thick white hair, immediately starts the ceremony.

Good, this is my kind of guy.

He doesn't waste time.

"This evening we are here in this place of natural beauty to be joyful, in celebration of the relationship of Christian Trevelyan-Grey and Anastasia Rose Steele. By their commitment to marry each other, they are saying yes to love, yes to caring, yes to a family. May the spirit of God – which is in the blue sky, in the wind, and the waters of Earth – enter your bodies, fill your hearts, and bless your lives. Have you come here in the midst of these natural surroundings to affirm your commitment to each other?

At the same time, Ana and I reply, "Yes."

"Christian, please share your vows with Anastasia," Minister Nayyr says.

I clear my throat of whatever it is that's choking me.

"Anastasia, of all the people you've met on your life's journey and of all the places you've been, somehow and someway, you ended up here - with me. It is the most powerful and humbling fact that I can accept. I used to think that we met by chance but now I know without a doubt that the universe put you in front of me because we were meant to spend our lives together. You have filled my life with joy and have given me a sense of peace that I have never known. You know me better than anyone else in this world and somehow still manage to love me. You are my best friend and you will be the mother of my children. There is still a part of me today that can't believe that I'm the one who gets to marry you. Today you become my wife, but you will be the mate to my soul forever. I promise that when we are old and gray, we will look back on our lives together and have no regrets. From this day forward, you will never walk alone."

Ana holds my hands tighter. Tears have welled in her eyes.

"Anastasia, please share your vows to Christian."

"Christian, I can't imagine growing old with anyone else nor do I want to, the story of our love is only beginning. When I look into your eyes, I can see the reflection of the two of us, and our children, and the life we're going to share together. Today I say, "I do" but to me that means, "I will." I will take your hand and stand by your side in the good and the bad. I dedicate myself to your happiness, success, and smile. I will love you forever. Your love gives me hope. Your smile gives me joy. You make me a better person. I vow to walk the road of life with you. I will never falter. I will never depart. I choose to always be at your side."

"What do you give to each other as a symbol of these vows?" Minister Nayyr asks.

I raise Ana's left hand and kiss it before slipping the wedding ring on her delicate finger, and say, "I give you this ring, and I welcome you to my life as the companion to my days. I promise that you'll never have to face the world alone."

Ana has a bit of trouble sliding my band on, causing everyone to laugh.

"I give you this ring, and I welcome you to my life as the companion to my days. I promise that you'll never have to face the world alone," she says softly.

"These two people have been drawn together by their love for each other. May they practice self- discipline and patience throughout their marriage, for these are essential to everlasting love. May they continue to trust each other, for trust is the foundation on which all love is built. Since Christian and Anastasia have pledged their love and commitment to each other before these witnesses, I declare that they are husband and wife. Congratulations, you may kiss."

At this point, tears are streaming down both of our cheeks, and I pull Ana into my arms and softly kiss her lips. I place my hands on either side of her face and stare into her eyes.

"I will always love you, Mrs. Grey," I whisper.

"I will always love you, Mr. Grey."