"Tell me something, Zuby," Pori said as she hopped around their 'home' in the Outlands. "If you're so smart, then how come you lost your job?"
"Because the King is an uncompromising maniac with no intelligence," Zazu replied glumly, depressed by just the thought of the great position he once held in the kingdom. The job where he was respected—mostly—and revered for his services to the pride. "That's why, Pori."
"Oh," she replied, ceasing to hop around. "I thought it was because you're some kind of an idiot."
"An idiot?" Zazu exclaimed in offence. "You're referring to me—me—as an idiot, when your intelligence stretches about as far as that of a piece of filth on the ground!"
"Now, there's no need to be rude, Zago," Pori replied, seemingly unaffected by anything that Zazu had said. "After all, you just have to enjoy life and everything that it brings—whether it's good or bad."
There she goes again, Zazu thought, surprised. Either she's a genius or completely b rainless. I don't know what to think anymore!
Actually, Zazu could think of something, and it was that Pori had comes across as rather… attractive to him. A strange feeling—and not one he'd felt before—but he was beginning to suspect that it meant he had certain… emotions for her.
He couldn't even explain it—she was about as smart as a rock. How could anyone find beauty in someone who couldn't even talk properly? It just didn't add up. He'd been raised to find a suitable, intelligent, perfect mate—not one who couldn't even add two and two together!
Unless maybe that lack of intelligence was something he found alluring, perhaps. Her stupidity could be her best trait.
Was that even a normal thing to think?
"Um, Pori…" Zazu began nervously, "what do you think about… love?"
"Love?" Pori put a wing to her chin in thought. "Hmm… well, the word has four letters. And it rhymes with 'dove'. That's what I think."
"No, I mean the meaning," Zazu told her.
"Oh. Well, in that case, I think that love is probably the most important thing of all," she said. "It's what binds us all together. And it rhymes with 'dove'—one of my favourite words! Isn't that great?"
"Oh, yes… positively enchanting," Zazu muttered in response.
To be honest, he was completely clueless. Much like Pori. At least they had that in common.
Simba had bad days and good days. The good days usually consisted of fun and adventure. As for bad days? Well, they were more along the lines of your best friend trying to invite you to a wedding.
"Simba, it'll be the wedding of the century!" Haiba kept telling him. "You simply have to come!"
Simba had fled to the jungle for the day. After nearly being killed by Nala for nearly killing Haiba, he felt that it was in his best interest to lay low for a day. Otherwise, he'd probably end up causing even more trouble.
He had to admit, it was a bit of a surprise that Haiba had shown up in the clearing where he was hiding—with a bunch of funny-looking plants surrounding him. After all, he had beaten him to nearly an inch of his life, so what the heck was he doing here? Prancing up and down, spouting about a wedding? It just didn't make any sense!
Then again, that was what most days were like for Simba.
"Haiba, what are you talking about?" Simba exclaimed, grabbing him by the shoulders. "You're acting crazy!"
"My wedding to Nala," Haiba told him, causing a wave of immense curiosity to descend upon Simba's face.
"Your… wedding… to… Nala?" Simba said slowly, trying to digest the words.
"That's right," Haiba nodded with a funny grin. What was up with him? Come to think of it, Simba had noticed that his eyes were looking a bit too wide for his head to contain…
"Haiba, you're not getting married to Nala," he told him. "You sure you haven't hit your head or something? Your eyes look like boulders."
"Of course I'm getting married to Nala," Haiba said. "Tonight, in fact! And you are cordially invited! Isn't that just joyous? You can see us pledge our devotion to each other—for ever and ever…" He had a dreamy look in his eyes.
"Something isn't right here," Simba said, looking aside. "I know you're weird—but you wouldn't make something like that up. What's going on with you, Haiba?"
"I'm in love!" Haiba proclaimed. "That's what's wrong! No—it's what's right! Now, let's go, Simba—I don't want to keep my new mate waiting!"
Haiba advanced towards him, but Simba pushed him backwards. If Haiba was infected with something, then he certainly didn't want to catch it.
Haiba stumbled backwards onto a weird light-blue plant, and ended up with one of the leaves in his mouth. He accidentally swallowed it, and stared up at Simba.
His eyes shrunk back down to their normal size, and he looked around as if nothing had happened. "What am I doing here?" He put a paw to his head. "Must have been some party…"
"You don't remember anything?" Simba asked, surprised.
"Simba?" Haiba only now seemed to notice him. "I… I don't know what's happened. One minute I was at the waterhole… and the next…"
Simba wandered over to the blue plants. "You ate one of these leaves," he told him, "and then you snapped out of it."
"Snapped out of what?" Haiba asked.
"You were acting all 'gooey' around me," Simba explained. "You were saying something about marrying Nala."
"I thought I felt a bit funny after swallowing that water," Haiba said to himself.
"What water?" Simba said.
"You know—at the waterhole," Haiba replied. "It was looking all sparkly—and a little bit pink, if you ask me."
"Hmm…" Simba looked at the other plants in the clearing. All of them were colourful and unique. His eyes fell on a pink one. "Maybe these plants have different powers or something. I'm guessing that pink one somehow got into the waterhole."
"Why would someone want to put a love plant in the waterhole?" Haiba wondered.
"Well, I don't know," Simba said with a shrug. "But if it's in the waterhole, then that means that everyone who drinks from it will fall in love with someone else!"
"That's not too good," Haiba said with concern. "If everyone's too busy making out, then no one will have time to do anything else."
"That blue plant brought snapped you out of it," Simba said, indicating it. "So if we put that into the waterhole, then I guess it'll make the water normal again."
"Good plan," said Haiba. "But I feel really sorry for Nala—last time I checked, she was at the waterhole. Anyone could have fallen in love with her!"
Nala wasn't having a very good day. As soon as she had escaped the clutches of her mother—who had now fallen in love with her—she found herself faced with one of the most surprising sights of all.
Shocker was stood in front of her. She was beginning to suspect that he'd followed her all the way out to the outskirts of the Pride Lands. Come to think of it, she had heard what sounded like someone following her for half an hour…
"Nala, um, uh… hi," Shocker stammered, staring at the ground. He had wide eyes and a shy smile on his face. "I just wanted to, uh, ask you if, um…"
She honestly couldn't believe how freaky the day had become. First Haiba had fallen for her, then her own mother—she couldn't believe that—and now Shocker? Out of everyone, the most evil cub ever to exist had fallen in love with her? This was just getting ridiculous…
"Well, Nala, um… will you, uh, perhaps want to… go out… with, uh… me?" Shocker asked sheepishly.
"No, Shocker," Nala said, walking past him. "I don't have time for this."
Shocker crumpled to the ground, heartbroken. "Why?" he moaned. "Doesn't anyone love me? Doesn't anyone care ab out Shocker?"
Nala rolled her eyes.
The Interceptor didn't think he'd be admitting that today was more of a success than he first thought. After all, the sight of Shocker pining after Nala like a pathetic little wimp was rather amusing, to say the least…
The creep deserved it, anyway. Shocker had made up a plan that was doomed to fail, and then he'd tried to pin the blame on him? The Interceptor had every right to rip his legs off, one at a time.
He was about to consider tearing Shocker's head off, when he was pounced on by someone unseen.
"I've got him!" Simba yelled triumphantly, as the Interceptor slid to the ground. "I knew it was him all along! Tried to poison the waterhole with your sneaky little plant, did you, Interceptor?"
"Get off me!" the Interceptor yelled. "I'm not the one who comes up with girly little plans like that!"
"Oh, sure—that explains why you're the only villain within three hundred miles," Simba said sarcastically.
"What about Shocker?" the Interceptor suddenly asked. "He's pining after your little girlfriend right now after falling in his own love juice."
Simba glanced at the waterhole, and saw that it had turned a pretty pink colour. "One drop and you fall in love with the first animal you see," he said to himself. "This is a lot worse than we first thought."
The Interceptor brushed Simba off of him, getting up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got plans of my own to take care of."
"Simb a!" a voice yelled.
Simba turned around to see Nala in the distance, sprinting towards him. "Nala? What are you running from?"
Zap! A lightning bolt streaked over Nala's head, narrowly missing her.
"I'll teach you to b reak my heart!" a voice that Simba recognised as belonging to Shocker cried. "I loved you!"
Simba turned to Haiba, who was stood next to him, the blue plant slung across his back. "Haiba, you'd better put that plant in the water."
Haiba nodded. "Got it." He grabbed the blue normality plant and dumped it into the waterhole.
The two watched as a blue liquid began to seep out from the plant, covering the pink liquid and engulfing the whole of the water. The plant turned a dull grey colour, seemingly drained of life. It didn't take long for the blue liquid to fade away, and the water returned to its normal clear colour.
"You have to help me!" Nala screamed, leaping into Simba's forepaws. "It won't stop! Everyone's in love with me! Haiba, my mother—even Shocker!" She sobbed into Simba's shoulder. "Make it stop! Make it stop!"
"You can't get away!" Shocker yelled, reaching the top of a hill. He reared up for an almighty jump, and leapt into the air.
Simba, Nala, Haiba and the Interceptor watched with amazement as Shocker sailed over them, and landed right in the waterhole.
Splash! It took exactly nine seconds for Shocker to emerge from the water, his eyes no longer wide. The effect of the plant had worn off, just as Simba had suspected now that he had returned the water to normal.
"I'll take care of him," the Interceptor said, reaching out with a paw and yanking Shocker out of the water by the scruff of his neck. "What did I tell you about blaming others for your failure?"
"Oh, shut up, you miserable idiot!" Shocker snapped. "How was I supposed to know that the plant was—?"
The Interceptor clobbered Shocker over the top of the head. A dopey smile spread across his face and he fell unconscious.
"And that," said the Interceptor, "takes care of that."
It didn't take too long for Simba to lead Nala's mother into the waterhole, and soon she had snapped out of her sudden intense affection for her own daughter.
"That was a nightmare," Nala said, as she sat beside the waterhole. "I don't want to ever go through anything like that ever again."
"You're telling me," said Haiba. "I'd like to keep my love life to myself, thank you very much. I don't need a love potion to do it for me."
"You should be thanking me, then," Simba said. "I'm the one that discovered the answer to the problem. In fact, I think you should do everything that I tell you to for the rest of the day."
"Not really," Haiba said. "You beat me up earlier—you can think of saving us all as an apology."
Simba's face fell. "I really hate it when you do that."
Haiba grinned. "I still love you, though, Simba."
Simba frowned. "That's what I'm afraid of."