Chapter 33

Small Steps

I wake up to the soft sound of someone saying my name. My head feels heavy, my neck sore from the awkward angle I must have fallen asleep in. Blinking against the harsh fluorescent lights, I see Rachel crouched in front of me, her hand gently shaking my shoulder.

"Jade," she says softly, her face glowing with a tired but unmistakable joy. "She's here. Missy had her baby."

The words are enough to jolt me fully awake. I sit up too quickly, my muscles protesting, and glance over at Tori and Jake. Tori stirs beside me, rubbing her eyes, while Jake remains curled up against her, his little face half-buried in her arm.

"Is everything okay?" I ask, my voice still groggy but tinged with urgency.

Rachel nods, her smile widening. "She's perfect. Missy's resting, but she's okay. They're both okay."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, relief washing over me like a wave. Tori is fully awake now, her eyes lighting up as the news registers. She gives Jake a gentle nudge, whispering his name.

"Hey, Jake," she coaxes. "Wake up, buddy. You've got a brand-new niece to meet."

Jake stirs, blinking up at us with a sleepy frown. "Huh?"

I can't help the small smile that tugs at my lips as I reach over to ruffle his hair. "Missy had her baby. You want to go meet her?"

His eyes widen, and he sits up straighter, nodding quickly. "Yeah!"

Rachel stands, motioning for us to follow. I lift Jake into my arms despite the ache in my muscles, holding him close. Tori walks beside us, her hand finding mine for a brief squeeze before letting go.

As we walk down the hallway, the reality of it all starts to sink in. Missy's a mom now. There's a new life, tiny and fragile, waiting for us in one of those rooms.

Rachel leads the way through the quiet hospital corridors, her steps brisk but light, as if she's trying to contain her excitement and not run ahead. I adjust Jake on my hip, his arms wrapped securely around my neck. He's wide awake now, his face lit with curiosity and a touch of awe. Tori walks close beside me, glancing at me every so often as if to check I'm okay. Her hand brushes against my arm briefly, a silent reassurance.

When we reach the room, Rachel pauses outside the door, turning to us with a quiet grin. "She's beautiful," she whispers, as if the baby can somehow hear her through the walls. Then she pushes the door open.

Inside, the room is softly lit, and there's a palpable sense of peace. Missy is lying in the hospital bed, looking pale but radiant, her hair tousled and her face glowing despite the obvious exhaustion. Alex is sitting beside her, her hands gently cradling a tiny bundle wrapped in a pale pink blanket.

"Hey," Missy says, her voice soft but warm as she looks at us. Her gaze immediately lands on Jake, and her smile brightens. "Come meet your niece, kiddo."

Jake wiggles in my arms, and I set him down carefully. He hesitates for a moment, glancing back at me for reassurance, and I give him a small nod. Slowly, he approaches the bed, his eyes glued to the baby in Alex's arms.

Alex stands, moving slowly as she transfers the baby to Missy. She leans down to whisper something to Missy, who gives her a playful shove, but the warmth in their interaction is undeniable.

"Come closer, Jake," Missy says, adjusting the blanket around the baby. "You can see her better."

Jake steps closer, his small hands gripping the side of the bed for balance as he peers down at the baby's face. His mouth drops open slightly, his eyes wide with wonder. "She's so tiny," he whispers.

Missy chuckles softly. "Yeah, she is. Do you want to say hi?"

"Hi," Jake says shyly, his voice barely above a whisper. He looks back at me, his expression filled with awe. "Jade, look. She's so cute."

I take a step closer, feeling Tori's hand lightly press against my back as we move together. Missy tilts the baby slightly so I can see her better, and my heart skips a beat. She's beautiful—small and delicate, with soft, dark hair peeking out from under the blanket and the tiniest little hands curled into fists.

"What's her name?" Tori asks gently, her voice filled with the same reverence we all seem to feel in this moment.

Missy exchanges a glance with Alex, and they both smile. "Her name is Meadow," Missy says, her voice thick with emotion. "Meadow Grey West."

"She's got your last name?" Jake asks curiously, his gaze shifting between Missy and the baby.

"Of course she does," Missy says with a warm, proud smile. "She's a West, just like me.."

Rachel moves closer then, her tears glinting in the soft light as she leans down to kiss Missy's forehead. "She's beautiful," she whispers, her voice thick. "You did good, sweetheart."

Missy's grin softens, and she tilts her head to rest it against Rachel's. "Thanks, Mom," she murmurs.

Tori's hand slips into mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You okay?" she whispers, leaning close so only I can hear.

I nod, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat as I look at the tiny new life in front of me. "Yeah," I manage to whisper, my voice breaking just a little. "I think I am."

Missy looks up at me, her gaze warm but insistent. "Come here, Jade," she says softly, patting the edge of the bed. "Meet her up close."

Tori gives my hand a gentle squeeze, urging me forward. I step closer, my breath catching as I take in the tiny bundle in Missy's arms. Meadow's small face peeks out from the blanket, her features impossibly delicate—like she's been sculpted from glass. Her little chest rises and falls in a steady rhythm, each breath quiet but powerful.

"She's beautiful," I whisper, my voice barely audible over the steady hum of hospital sounds.

Missy beams, tears shimmering in her eyes. "She really is, isn't she?"

Alex, standing nearby, folds her arms and grins. "Of course she is. Look who her mom is."

Missy gives her a playful nudge with her elbow. "Don't get too cocky. You're just along for the ride."

"Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere," Alex replies, her tone softening. "She might not be my blood, but she's ours. I mean, look at her."

Missy glances at Alex, her expression shifting into something tender. "You're right. She is ours." Alex's cheeks flush as the words come out, but she doesn't backpedal. Instead, she leans down and kisses the top of Missy's head, her hand resting on her girlfriend's shoulder.

Jake, standing beside me, tugs at my sleeve. "Can I hold her?" he asks, his voice small but full of wonder.

Missy shifts carefully on the bed, adjusting Meadow in her arms. "Of course, buddy. Come sit with me."

Jake scrambles onto the bed, his movements cautious as Missy helps him cradle Meadow. He holds her like she's the most precious thing in the world, his small hands shaking slightly. "She's so tiny," he whispers, his eyes wide.

"You're doing perfect," Missy assures him, her voice calm. "She's lucky to have an uncle like you."

Jake looks up, his face lighting up at the praise. "I'm gonna protect her," he declares, his voice suddenly full of conviction. "Nobody's ever gonna hurt her."

Missy's smile softens, and Alex places a hand on Jake's shoulder. "That's a big job, but I think you're up for it."

Jake nods solemnly, his attention glued to Meadow. I swallow hard, watching him, the weight in my chest shifting—still heavy, but no longer crushing. This is what it's all for.

Rachel steps beside me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. "She's surrounded by love," she says quietly. "Just like you were. Just like you are."

Her words make my throat tighten, but I nod, leaning into her touch. Tori slips an arm around my waist from the other side, her warmth calming me as I let out a shaky breath.

Missy looks over at me, her gaze meeting mine. "Thank you, Jade," she says softly. "For everything. For being here, for… just everything."

I shake my head, struggling to find my voice. "You don't have to thank me," I manage. "This is what family does."

Missy smiles at that, her eyes filled with a mixture of exhaustion and overwhelming happiness. Alex leans closer to kiss Meadow's head, her other arm wrapping protectively around Missy as Jake gives Meadow back. Watching them, I see how deeply Alex has stepped into this role—not as Meadow's biological parent, but as someone ready to give her all the love in the world.

Rachel's phone goes off and she steps out for a moment, kissing the top of my head before she goes. Missy looks at me, a tired smile on her face. "Hey sis, you wanna hold her?" she asks, her voice gentle, as if she already knows the answer.

I hesitate for just a second, unsure of myself. But then she shifts Meadow into my arms before I can protest. Her tiny, fragile body is a weight I can't even begin to comprehend, and yet, I find myself leaning into it, cradling her gently.

"She's so small," I whisper, my voice cracking as I stare down at the bundle in my arms. Meadow's little face scrunches in her sleep, her small hands curled up by her chest. It's hard to believe she's real—so perfect, so new.

Jake's watching me with wide eyes, still holding the edge of the bed. "Is she always this small?"

I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Yeah, she is. Babies are little when they're born."

I feel the tears start to well up, unbidden, and I try to hold them back. My chest feels tight, like it's being crushed again, but this time it's different. The tears aren't just for myself; they're for her—for Meadow, for the future, for everything I almost missed.

I look down at the baby, her peaceful face reminding me of everything I could've lost. I almost didn't get to see this. I almost didn't get to hold her, to be here for this moment that feels like a promise—one I almost broke.

The realization hits me like a wave. I'm not just crying for myself or for the pain that's inside me. I'm crying because I would have hurt my family again—because if I had gone through with it, I would have missed out on this moment. I would have missed out on being an aunt to this perfect, tiny little human. I would've left them behind, and they would've never had a chance to meet her. To love her.

The weight of that thought breaks me, and I let the tears fall freely, no longer trying to hold them back. Meadow's tiny hand twitches in my grip, and I pull her closer, whispering under my breath, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

Jake's eyes widen, and he looks at me, unsure of what's going on. "Are you okay, Jade?" His voice is small, a little worried.

I wipe my eyes quickly, trying to compose myself before I say anything. Tori stands beside me, watching with a soft expression. She understands, but she doesn't push. I keep my voice steady when I answer Jake.

"I'm okay, kiddo," I say, keeping my tone light. "Just... thinking. It's nothing."

Jake seems satisfied with that, but there's a look in his eyes that makes me feel like he's not entirely convinced. He doesn't know what I've been through—not the details, not everything. And he's too young to know the weight of those words. So I keep it vague, hoping that's enough for now.

I look back at Meadow, my heart swelling in my chest. This little girl is a reminder of everything I've almost lost and everything I still have the chance to protect. I'm not going to let that slip away again—not after everything. I won't.

Tori rubs my back gently, her presence a quiet anchor. "You've got this," she whispers, her voice full of love and understanding. "You're still here. That's what matters."

I nod, pulling Meadow a little closer to me. I may not have all the answers yet, but I know one thing for sure: I'm not going anywhere. Not now. Not when I've finally gotten the chance to be here, to be part of this family, to be an aunt to this little girl.

I'm still holding Meadow, cradling her carefully as I sit next to Missy's bed. She's so tiny, her little hands already clutching at my finger, and I can't help but feel overwhelmed by how much love I have for this little girl.

My thoughts, for once, aren't clouded by the heavy weight that's been following me for weeks. As I gaze down at her sleeping face, everything else falls away. I can't imagine ever leaving this—ever missing out on this moment or anything like it.

The soft click of the door catches my attention, and I look up just as Mom steps inside, balancing a tray with food and another with drinks and sandwiches.

"Hey, honey," she greets me softly, her eyes warm. "I brought something to eat for Missy, and I thought everyone else could use a little pick-me-up too."

She sets the tray down on the table next to the bed, and my stomach growls a little as I smell fresh coffee. Mom looks around at all of us and her smile is a mix of exhaustion and love.

"Thanks, Mom," I say quietly, looking up at her from where I sit with Meadow. She nods, coming over to give me a kiss on the head and then gently placing a hand on Jake's shoulder, a silent reassurance that we're all in this together.

Rachel follows behind her with another tray and a bag of cookies, handing them to Jake with a grin. "Here, for you. Don't tell anyone," she says in a mock whisper. Jake's eyes widen, and he immediately hugs the cookies to his chest.

"Thanks, Rachel!" he beams up at her, his excitement infectious.

"Alright, everyone grab something to eat," Mom says, settling in beside Rachel and taking a cup of coffee. "It's been a long night."

"You're telling me…" Missy snorts, biting into a sandwich, her eyes half closed as though she were going to fall asleep any moment. "Oh my god, this is the best sandwich I've ever had…" Alex chuckles and kisses her cheek before putting a straw in a cup of juice for Missy to sip.

I can't help but chuckle as well as I glance down at Meadow once more, her little body still curled up in my arms. She's a piece of this family now. And in this moment, I'm so grateful I didn't miss it.

"She's perfect," I say softly, my voice breaking a little. "She's gonna have so much love around her."

Rachel smiles and places her hand on my arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "She already does."

The room is calm, the soft beep of hospital monitors blending with the faint sound of light chatter from the hallway. Missy is asleep on the bed with Jake tucked against her side, his small hand clutching her shirt even in sleep. Her arm rests protectively around him, and they look so peaceful together. She holds him like she's always been his big sister. The sight tugs at my chest, but not in a warm way.

It feels… complicated.

Missy's everything Jake deserves in a big sister. She's gentle and comforting. She didn't have to try to be that for him; she just is. Watching them like this, I feel awful. Maybe if I were more like Missy, Jake wouldn't have been hurting so much.

I swallow hard, tearing my eyes away from them before the ache in my chest grows too heavy. But the weight of it lingers, settling deep in my stomach. I've tried to protect Jake, to give him what he needs, but lately I've only let him down.

I don't say anything, but the silence must say enough because when I glance up, Tori's eyes are on me, soft with worry. She doesn't say anything right away, just tilts her head slightly, silently asking what's going on in my head.

I look away, shaking my head slightly. I'm fine, I want to tell her, but the words feel hollow even in my mind. Across the room, Alex is holding Meadow, murmuring something to Tori about her parents going full grandparent mode. Her voice is light, happy, but I can see her glancing at me now and then, like she knows something's off.

"Jade?" Tori's voice is gentle, pulling me back.

I blink and shake my head, forcing a weak smile. "I'm alright," I say quickly, but Tori's not buying it. She never does.

Alex shifts Meadow slightly, watching me with those sharp, perceptive eyes of hers. She doesn't say anything, but I can feel her studying me, piecing things together in that quiet way of hers.

"You sure?" Tori presses, her voice softer now.

I nod, even though it's a lie. "Yeah," I mumble, glancing back at Missy and Jake. "Just tired."

It's not entirely untrue. I am tired, but it's more than that. The weight in my chest doesn't go away, even as I try to focus on the soft hum of hospital monitors and the quiet murmurs of Alex and Tori. Tori leans closer, her hand gently squeezing mine. She doesn't push me to talk, but her presence helps.

Alex shifts her attention back to Meadow, but her voice is quiet when she speaks. "You know, it's okay to feel stuff, Jade. You don't always have to hold it in."

I glance at her, startled by the comment, but she doesn't look up. She's focused on Meadow, cradling her like the most precious thing in the world.

Tori squeezes my hand gently, her gaze on mine. "We're here, Jade. Whatever you need."

I nod again, but the words still feel stuck in my throat. For now, I just focus on the steady rhythm of Jake's breathing and the warmth of Tori's hand in mine, trying to push the heaviness away.

Standing abruptly, I mumble, "I'm gonna go outside. Get some air."

Tori's already moving, ready to follow me like she's afraid I'll fall apart if she's not right there. "I'll come with you—"

"No." I cut her off gently, holding up a hand. "Tori, I just… I need a minute. Alone."

She hesitates, her eyes scanning my face like she's looking for cracks. I know what she's thinking—what if I don't come back this time? I can see the worry etched into her features, and it hits me hard.

"I promise," I say quietly, meeting her gaze. "I'm not going anywhere. I just need a breather. I'll be right outside."

Tori looks at me for a long moment, her hand halfway raised like she's not sure if she should grab mine or let me go. Finally, she nods, though the worry doesn't leave her eyes. "Okay," she says softly. "But you'd better keep that promise."

"I will," I say, and it's not just words. I mean it.

She takes a small step back but doesn't sit down, watching me as I move toward the door. Alex glances up from Meadow, her brow furrowing slightly, but she doesn't say anything. Missy and Jake are still sound asleep, blissfully unaware of the tension hanging in the room.

I give Tori one last look before slipping out the door and into the hallway. It's quieter here, the hum of hospital machinery replaced by the faint murmur of distant voices and the occasional squeak of rubber-soled shoes on tile.

When I step outside, the cool night air hits me, easing some of the pressure in my chest. I take a deep breath, letting the crispness fill my lungs, and for a moment, I just stand there, staring up at the sky as my thoughts creep up.

I walk to my car, the cold doing nothing to quiet the voices in my head. Each step feels heavy, like the weight I've been carrying all night is now dragging me down. When I finally reach the car, I open the door, lean into the glove box, and pull out the pack of cigarettes I stashed earlier.

The sight of them feels like both a lifeline and a failure. I didn't even think twice about buying them. It felt like something I could control, a small act of rebellion against the chaos. Now, holding them, I feel conflicted.

I sit down in the driver's seat, leaving the door open, and pull one out. The lighter feels heavy in my hand as I flick it to life. The flame catches, and I bring the cigarette to my lips, taking a long drag.

The smoke fills my lungs, bitter and familiar. For a second, it steadies my thoughts, like the feeling I've been chasing all day. But as the seconds pass, the guilt creeps in, sharper than the cold night air.

I think of Meadow, her tiny hands curling around my finger. Missy, exhausted but glowing with pride as she held her daughter. Jake, curled up beside her, trusting her in a way that makes my heart hurt.

I glance at the glowing tip of the cigarette, watching the smoke curl into the air. This isn't what I want. This isn't who I want to be.

I stub the cigarette out on the concrete, barely smoked, and shove the pack into the trash can nearby. The sound of it hitting the bottom feels final, like a door slamming shut.

"I'm proud of you," a voice says softly, startling me.

I whip around to see Rachel standing a few feet away, her arms crossed but her face warm and understanding. "You followed me?" I ask, not angry, just surprised.

"I was worried," she admits, stepping closer. "Saw the look on your face when you left and thought you might need someone."

I glance at the trash can, suddenly embarrassed. "It's not a big deal," I mutter, shoving my hands in my pockets.

"It is," Rachel says firmly, but her tone stays gentle. "Little steps matter, Jade. They're how you move forward."

I feel my throat tighten, but I manage to nod. "Thanks Ma," I immediately feel awkward, meeting her eyes as she watches me.

But Rachel's face softens further, and she steps closer, placing a hand on my shoulder. "You're doing better than you think," she says quietly. "And I'm here, Jade. We all are. You're not alone in this."

The words hit me harder than I expect, and I have to look away, blinking rapidly. "I'm trying," I admit, my voice so soft that even I barely hear it.

"And that's enough," Rachel says. "For now, it's enough."

We stand there for a moment, the cold night air swirling around us. It feels a little easier to breathe, the weight a little less suffocating.

Rachel finally pats my shoulder and nods toward the hospital doors. "Come on. Let's head back inside. They're probably wondering where we are."

Rachel and I walk back into the hospital, and as we approach Missy's room, I spot Tori leaning against the wall, scrolling through her phone. She looks up when she hears us and immediately walks over, a sly smile spreading across her face.

Without warning, she pulls me into a hug, squeezing me tight. "Missed you," she says into my shoulder.

"Missed me? I was gone for like ten minutes," I reply, smirking.

"Ten minutes too long," she says, pulling back slightly. But then she stops, scrunching her nose. Her eyes narrow, and she leans in for a sniff before dramatically jerking back. "Ugh, Jade. You stink."

I blink, caught off guard. "Wow. Love you too, Babe. You sure know how to make a girl feel special."

She crosses her arms, tilting her head at me. "No, I mean it. You reek. What is that—Ashtray Chic?"

I roll my eyes. "I smoked. Barely. And I threw it away, okay?"

"Uh-huh," she says, raising an eyebrow. "I could tell, by the way. The car smelled like smoke earlier, but I decided to let it slide."

"You knew?" I ask, genuinely surprised.

"Of course I knew. I have a nose, Jade," she quips. "And ears. And eyes. I'm practically a detective."

I snort, the tension in my chest loosening a little. "Detective Vega, huh? What's your first order of business?"

"Cleaning you up," she says, grabbing my hand and tugging me down the hallway.

"Tori, I'm fine—"

"Nope, no arguing. You stink, and I'm not letting you hold Meadow smelling like regret and bad decisions."

I let her drag me into the bathroom, where she points to the sink like a stern teacher. "Hands. Soap. Scrub."

"Yes, ma'am," I reply, smirking as I turn on the water.

As I wash, Tori rummages through her purse and triumphantly pulls out a tiny bottle of body spray. She holds it up like it's a trophy. "Ta-da! Rose vanilla. You're welcome."

I groan, shaking my head. "Please tell me you're joking."

"Nope. Now stand still," Tori just shrugs. "You're lucky I love you." She walks up to me and starts spraying the mist into the air, sending a light, floral scent around me.

I cough a little. "I feel like a walking flower arrangement."

"That's because you are now," she teases, a sly smile playing on her lips.

I laugh, wiping my hands dry. "You're crazy, you know that?"

"You're just now figuring that out?" Her playful grin softens as she looks up at me. "Seriously, though. I'm proud of you, Jade. For throwing them out."

I shrug, but her words make me feel better. "Thanks."

I flash her a teasing grin, leaning in to kiss her. Her eyes widen just as I press my lips to hers, and for a second, I feel like the weight of the world is a little more bearable.

But then Tori pulls back dramatically, a horrified look crossing her face. "Ew!" she exclaims, holding a hand to her nose like she just caught a whiff of rotten eggs. "Jade! You taste like cigarettes!"

I chuckle, leaning back against the sink and crossing my arms. "I knew you'd be dramatic about it."

"I'm not dramatic, I'm practical!" she says, digging frantically through her purse. "I'm getting you gum, or mints, or—something."

She pulls out a pack of gum, shakes her head as if she's disgusted, and hands it to me with a glare. "I swear, you're lucky I love you. We are not kissing again until I'm sure you've fixed that."

I just watch, completely amused by her frantic efforts. "You're seriously punishing me for a little bit of smoke on my breath?"

"A little bit? Jade, it's like you've been living in a chimney for the past week." She sticks a piece of gum in her mouth. "Fix it, or I'm gonna have to start setting some boundaries."

I laugh, popping a piece of gum into my mouth as well, chewing slowly. "Alright, alright. I'll be a good girl, promise."

"Good," she says with a satisfied nod. "Because we're kissing again later, but only after your breath stops smelling like you've been inhaling ash all night."

I roll my eyes, still grinning. "You're ridiculous, Vega."

She just raises an eyebrow, a teasing smile on her lips. "You love me anyway."

"Yeah, I do," I admit, my voice softening. "I really do."

Tori's smiles more as she squeezes my hand. "I'm glad to see you smiling again, Jade. I expect to see more of that, you know."

I laugh softly, the sound feeling more genuine than it has in a while. "I'll try. I just need a little time, but I'm getting there."

As we walk out of the bathroom, I feel lighter, like the weight on my chest has lifted some, even if just for a moment. We head down the hall to where my mom and Rachel are standing, still waiting outside Missy's room.

I see my moms standing near Missy's room. Rachel looks at me with that worried expression of hers, while Mom's face softens, like she's ready to step in if I need it.

I force a smile, though it doesn't quite reach my eyes. "I'm fine," I say, but the words feel like they're made of paper. Thin and fragile. Then I remember something. "Oh yeah… I talked to Jake earlier... He's okay staying with you guys for now, until I get myself together."

Rachel looks at me with soft eyes and she reaches out, placing a hand on my shoulder. "He'll come right back to you when you're ready. We'll take care of him, JJ."

I can feel the sting in my chest at the thought of not having him living with me. It hurts. It really hurts. But he needs stability. He needs peace, and I can't give him that just yet.

Mom, standing next to Rachel, nods. "Exactly. We'll take good care of him, Jade, and you'll be close by, so it's not like you'll never see him."

I can't stop the tears from welling up. It's hard to accept, but I know this is what I need. What we need. "Thanks... I'm really trying. I don't want to screw this up."

Tori steps in, wrapping her arms around me from the side and resting her head on my shoulder. "You're not screwing anything up, Jade. You're doing what's best for him, for you. And we're all here to help. You've got us."

"I know…" I nod, trying to calm my breathing.

Tori tightens her hold around me for a second before pulling back just enough to look me in the eyes. Her hand brushes against my cheek, wiping away the tears that had escaped.

"I love you." She smiles

Tori's words sink in, her warmth enveloping me in the midst of everything. I let out a shaky breath, wiping my eyes, and give her a small smile. "I love you too."

She holds my gaze for a moment longer, as if making sure I believe it. Then she pulls me in again, hugging me tightly. Her arms are a safe place, and for a few seconds, I let myself lean into it, grateful for her. For all of them.

Rachel's voice cuts through the silence from the hallway. "You two ready to head in?"

I pull away from Tori just enough to glance at her. "Yeah, let's go."

Tori smiles, taking my hand gently, and we walk toward the room. But I can feel that familiar weight in my chest again. The decision with Jake weighs heavily, even though I know it's the right one. Part of me wants to change my mind, to convince myself that I can make everything work, but I know it's not fair to him.

I lead the way back into Missy's room, my heart a little lighter than before. When we step inside, the sight of Missy and Jake both curled up together on the bed, fast asleep, makes me smile softly. I'd almost forgotten how much I needed to see this—my little brother feeling safe and secure, and Missy, naturally taking care of him, like a big sister should.

Alex is sitting next to them, holding Meadow in her arms, her soft voice barely above a whisper as she sings to the baby. It's a beautiful moment, and as I watch her, I can't help but feel a little awestruck. Alex's voice is soothing and rich, and the tenderness she shows Meadow... it hits me hard. She's going to be an incredible mom.

I lean against the doorframe, but apparently, I'm not as quiet as I thought. Alex's eyes snap to mine, and I can see the way her cheeks turn pink, just a little embarrassed at being caught in such a vulnerable moment.

Tori, standing beside me, raises an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at her lips. "You have a nice voice, Alex," she says, her tone playful. "Should've gone to Hollywood Arts with us. I mean, you'd have been amazing."

Alex chuckles, a nervous edge to it. "I did," she says, glancing down at Meadow before looking back at us. "Left a few years ago though, due to... personal reasons."

I know the truth, and from the way Alex looks away briefly, I know she knows I know. She's being cryptic, as usual, but that's okay. The only people who know why Alex left Hollywood Arts all those years ago are her and me. I remember the quiet, solemn conversation we had months ago, when we reconnected after everything with my dad. Alex told me she'd left to protect me from him—the man who had tried to ruin her life, too. She didn't want to risk being too close, and I understand that now more than ever. It's something we never talk about with anyone else.

But we don't need to.

Tori, oblivious to the deeper meaning behind Alex's words, gives her a teasing look. "You didn't tell us that part," she says, her eyes glinting mischievously. "I guess I'm just used to thinking of you as the girl who stays out of the spotlight."

Alex shrugs, trying to deflect the attention, but there's a faint blush still coloring her cheeks. "Well, you know, Tori, not everyone wants to be a famous popstar, like you." She smirks.

"I get that," Tori responds, grinning. "But you have an amazing voice. I just thought you'd want to share it."

"Maybe someday." Alex chuckles and goes back to singing softly to Meadow, her eyes full of love.

The hours slip by as we take turns holding Meadow, each of us passing her around like a precious little bundle. I can't help but marvel at how tiny she is, her little fingers curling around mine, her eyes blinking up at us in curiosity. It feels so right to be here, watching my friends become a family. And as much as I still have my doubts about myself and my own place in this world, for right now, I feel okay.

Jake, now awake and grumbling about being sleepy, holds his arms out to me. I laugh softly and reach out to scoop him into mine, kissing his forehead. He yawns, his small body curling against mine as he settles in rubbing his eyes sleepily.

Meadow starts to squirm in Alex's arms, a soft whine escaping her tiny mouth. Her cry gradually becomes more insistent, and within seconds, Missy stirs, her eyes fluttering open. She's already reaching out for her daughter, instinctively knowing what's wrong.

"She's hungry..." Missy says in a quiet voice, her eyes still heavy with sleep.

Alex, who'd been gently rocking Meadow, nods and hands the baby over to Missy with a tender smile. "I got her settled for a bit, but yeah, she's probably ready to nurse," Alex murmurs, her voice full of affection.

Tori, who's been sitting next to me, gives me a small nod, and we exchange a look. It's clear that Missy and Alex could use a little privacy right now, and I don't want to crowd them.

"Let's give them some space," I say, stepping back from the bed. "I'll take Jake out of here for a bit."

"We'll be back," Tori waves to Missy and Alex and we leave. We pass by my mom and Rachel as they talk in the hall, telling them that we're going out for a bit, and walk down the hallway.

Jake yawns again, clearly still groggy from his nap. "You hungry, Bud?" I ask softly, my voice light and teasing, trying to keep the mood easy. He looks up at me, his eyes still half-closed, and nods.

"Yeah. Hungry," he mumbles, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

I smile, adjusting him in my arms. "How about lunch? You think you could eat a whole meal?"

That perks him up, and he nods again, this time with more enthusiasm. "Yeah! I want pizza!" he exclaims, his excitement contagious.

Tori chuckles, one of her hands on my back. "Pizza, huh? I think we can make that happen." She smiles at Jake, giving him a playful wink. "We'll get some pizza, and then we can bring back something nice for Missy and Alex too. Sound good?"

"Yeah!" Jake responds eagerly, his face lighting up.

We step out of the hospital, and the fresh air hits me like a wave. The sterile, hospital scent has been thick in my nose all day, and the change is a welcome relief. Jake's hand is firmly in mine as we walk toward the car. Once Jake's settled, I climb into the driver's seat and start the car as Tori gets in on the other side.

Jake bounces excitedly in the back, making me chuckle. "Pizza!" he exclaims. "Can we get the big one with lots of cheese?"

I laugh, shaking my head. "Of course we can. Extra cheese, just like you like it."

Tori gives a little chuckle as she drives, clearly pleased with the choice. "And maybe a side of garlic bread too. I could go for that."

Jake bounces in his seat, clearly happy with the idea. "Garlic bread sounds good!"

The pizza place is busy when we arrive, but not overcrowded. We walk in, the warm, comforting smell of cheese and dough hitting us immediately, and I can feel my stomach growl in anticipation. Jake's practically bouncing on his feet as we walk in.

We settle into the booth, and soon enough, a cheese pizza is brought out to use with garlic bread. Jake's already digging into his slice, his face lighting up with excitement over the pizza, while I grab a slice of my own. The food is comforting as I take a bite, burning my tongue a bit on the hot cheese.

Tori, across from me, takes a bite of her pizza, but I can feel her eyes on me—soft, full of concern. She's trying not to make it obvious, but she doesn't fool me. I try to focus on my food, but my stomach keeps feeling like it's flipping. After a few moments, she sets her slice down and quietly asks, "Jade, you okay?"

I glance up at her, my chest feeling heavy. My stomach tightens and I try to shove it down, to avoid answering, but the truth claws its way out anyway. I glance at Jake, seeing that he's engrossed in his pizza and a coloring sheet the server brought him.

"I'm not," I admit, the words slipping out before I can stop them. It feels like a relief to say it, like I'm peeling back the facade just a little. "I'm not okay, Tori…"

Tori doesn't push or prod. She just nods, her expression calm but full of understanding. She reaches across the table, her hand finding mine, squeezing gently. "I'm here for you, Jade," she says softly. "Whenever you need to talk… or not talk."

I look down at her hand on mine, the warmth of it almost too much. "It's just… everything," I say, my voice cracking. "The depression, the guilt, all of it. Some days, it feels like I can't breathe, like I'm drowning in it." My voice trails off, and I wince at the poor choice of words. I quickly look down, my fingers tracing the edge of my crust.

"I know you feel like that," she says, her voice thick with emotion. "I've seen it, Jade. I've seen you try to carry all of this on your own, and I know how heavy it is. But you don't have to carry it alone anymore. I'm here. I've always been here."

Her words hit something raw inside me, and I feel tears prick the corners of my eyes. I blink them away, my fingers gripping the edge of the table. "I don't know if it'll get better," I whisper. "Some days, it feels like it won't. I just want to be okay for everyone. For Missy, for Jake, for you. But I don't know if I know how to be okay anymore."

Tori shifts closer, her hand moving to cup mine fully. "You will, Jade. It's not something that happens overnight, but I believe in you. You'll get there, in your own time."

Her confidence in me is unwavering, and for the first time in days, I feel a flicker of hope. "Thanks for sticking by me, Vega…" I pause, the weight in my chest lifting slightly as I glance at the engagement ring on her finger. I touch it lightly, my thumb brushing over the band. "After we graduate… I want to have the wedding. Is that okay?"

Tori's smile grows, and her eyes light up with a warmth that makes my heart ache in the best way. She cups my cheek, tilting my head so I'm looking directly at her. "Of course, it's okay. But do we have enough time to plan it? Graduation's only a few months away."

"Don't worry," I say, a small smile creeping onto my face. "We have plenty of time. You can pick all the details, whatever you want. All I care about is the location—I already have the perfect spot in mind."

Tori laughs softly, her thumb brushing my cheek. "Then it's settled. We'll pick the date together, and start planning."

"Deal," I say, the warmth in her gaze enough to chase away some of the shadows in my mind. She squeezes my hand one more time before grabbing a piece of garlic bread and holding it up to my mouth.

"Now eat," she says with a playful grin. "You're going to need energy for all this planning."

I roll my eyes but let her feed me the bite, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I feel like I'm at peace.

We finish our lunch in silence, but it's a comfortable silence. The kind that doesn't require words to fill the space, just the understanding that we're both here together.

As we finish up, Tori leans back in her seat, staring at Jake in mock amazement. "Six slices, Jake? Seriously? Where are you even putting all that?"

Jake grins, his face smeared with pizza sauce. "I'm growing," he says simply, like that explains everything.

Tori chuckles, shaking her head. "At this rate, we'll need to start bringing you your own pizza."

Jake beams, clearly pleased with himself, while I take a sip of my drink, watching the exchange with a faint smile. Despite everything, moments like this remind me of why I keep going.

Jake stretches out in the backseat, looking entirely too content for a kid who just inhaled six slices of pizza. Tori glances at him through the rearview mirror, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I don't know how you're not bursting at the seams," she teases, her voice light. "Six slices, Jake. That's gotta be some kind of record."

Jake grins, rubbing his full stomach. "I was hungry," he says simply, his tone making it sound like eating half a pizza on his own was no big deal.

I can't help but chuckle as I adjust the two extra cheese pizzas balanced on my lap. The smell is still warm and delicious, filling the car with the scent of melted cheese and garlic. "Let's hope Missy and Alex are as hungry as you were," I say, glancing at Tori. "Otherwise, we're going to have a lot of leftovers."

Tori grins, her fingers tapping rhythmically on the steering wheel as she navigates back to the hospital. "Knowing Alex, she'll put a good dent in it. And your moms probably haven't eaten much either. Rachel looked like she was running on fumes earlier."

I nod, leaning my head back against the seat and letting myself relax for the first time all day. It feels good to focus on something simple—bringing lunch back to everyone—rather than letting my thoughts spiral. The warmth of the pizza boxes in my lap is and the hum of the car's engine is almost soothing.

Jake breaks the quiet, his voice curious. "Do you think Meadow's awake now? I wanna see her again."

Tori glances back at him with a smile. "Maybe, but you gotta be gentle, okay? She's still really little, and babies need a lot of sleep."

"I know," Jake says earnestly, his tone serious. "I'll be careful."

The corner of my mouth lift at his response. He's been so good through all of this, adapting to everything without complaint. It makes me happy knowing that he's okay, even when everything else has been so tough.

As we pull into the hospital parking lot, Tori parks in a spot near the entrance, and we sit for a moment, the weight of the day settling again—but it's not as oppressive as before.

"Ready?" Tori asks, looking at me as she unbuckles her seatbelt.

"Yeah," I say, unbuckling my seatbelt as well.

Jake hops out of the car eagerly, running around with excitement at the thought of seeing Meadow again. Tori grabs the door for me as I step out, balancing the pizzas carefully.

We step into the elevator, Jake pressing the button for Missy's floor with the same enthusiasm he's had all afternoon. Tori stands beside me, her hand brushing mine briefly, and it's enough to comfort me. She doesn't say anything, but I catch the little smile she gives me, like she knows I'm feeling better. Definitely not all better, but better enough to keep moving forward.

When the elevator dings and the doors slide open, Jake is the first one out, practically jogging toward Missy's room. Tori chuckles softly, her voice light. "Think we should remind him about the 'gentle' thing again?"

I smile, shifting the pizza boxes in my arms. "He's fine. Besides, Alex will probably be the one to remind him. She's good at that."

As we reach the room, the quiet hum of conversation filters through the door. Jake hesitates just outside, peeking in first before stepping inside on tiptoes, trying to be quiet but still clearly eager. I follow him in, with Tori right behind me.

Inside, Alex is sitting in the chair by the window, Meadow cradled in her arms, looking impossibly tiny against her chest. She's humming softly, a lullaby that I can't quite place, but it's sweet and soothing. Rachel and Mom are sitting together on the couch, deep in conversation, though they both glance up as we enter.

"We come bearing pizza," Tori announces, breaking the quiet as she steps in behind me and holds up the bag. "And plates. Because we're civilized."

Jake is already bounding toward the bed, sliding up next to Missy with a grin. "We got two cheese ones! And they're hot!"

Missy stirs, her eyes fluttering open as she pulls Jake closer. Her arms wrap around him instinctively, and he leans into her without hesitation.

"Pizza sounds amazing," Rachel says, standing to stretch before heading over. She takes the boxes from me with a warm smile. "Thanks for grabbing this, JJ. I was just about to start hunting down vending machine snacks."

Mom chuckles, standing to join her. "You? Vending machine snacks? That's a new one."

Rachel rolls her eyes but grins. "Desperate times, Jasmine. Desperate times." I chuckle at hearing my moms tease each other and set the drinks on the table, shrugging out of my jacket before I sit in the other chair beside the bed.

Tori hands a slice of pizza to Mom, who takes it with a grateful smile, and they sit together, sharing quiet words that I can't quite make out. Alex is still holding Meadow, her attention mostly absorbed by the tiny bundle in her arms as Rachel feeds her bites of pizza.

Jake climbs up onto my lap and leans against me as I run my fingers through his hair. He looks like he's deep in thought, his little brow furrowing. After a moment, he glances up at me, then at Mom and Rachel across the room, before sitting up straighter. He motions for me to lean down, and I do.

"Do your mommies know how to make my pasta like you do?" he whispers, his voice soft and uncertain.

My eyes widen slightly as I look at him. The worry in his eyes tugs at my heart. He's thinking about how he'll be living with them soon. I swallow hard, forcing myself to smile as I nod.

"Yeah," I tell him gently. "My mommy used to make it the same way for me, so she knows exactly how to make it. She does it the best."

Jake looks down for a moment, fidgeting with his fingers, then asks, "And… will they look under my bed for monsters?"

The lump in my throat tightens as I pull him closer, wrapping my arms around him and stroking his hair. My eyes squeeze shut, fighting back the tears that are threatening to spill over.

"Of course they will," I whisper, my voice cracking just slightly. "They're the best moms in the whole world." I press a kiss to his forehead, then look into his wide eyes. My heart clenches when I see him trying so hard not to cry.

"Hey," I say softly, tilting his chin up. "It'll be okay, I promise. They raised me, didn't they? And I was a total brat sometimes. They're going to take such good care of you. And anything they don't know how to do, I'll teach them, okay?"

Jake nods slowly, his little arms wrapping around my neck as he hugs me tight. I let out a shaky breath, staring up at the ceiling and silently praying I'm doing the right thing.

A gentle hand rests on my arm, and I glance to the side. Tori is there, smiling at me softly. Her thumb brushes under my eye, drying the tears before Jake can see them. I mouth a quiet thank you, and she nods, stroking my hair briefly.

Clearing my throat, I look back down at Jake, summoning the best smile I can manage. "Don't worry about that right now, okay? Let's focus on spending time with our sister and our niece. They're going to need a lot of attention, don't you think?"

Jake sniffs, rubbing his eyes before giving me a small nod. "Okay," he says, his voice still a little wobbly but steadier. I hold him close for a moment longer, then kiss the top of his head.

Jake settles against me again, his head tucked under my chin as he lets out a long, shaky sigh. I rub slow circles on his back, feeling his little body relax bit by bit. Tori shifts closer, her hand brushing mine, and I catch her gaze. Her eyes are warm and for the first time in a long while, I feel like maybe I'm doing something right.

Across the room, Rachel is speaking softly with Mom, both of them glancing our way occasionally. Missy is cradling Meadow in her arms while Alex sits beside her, gently fixing her hair. It's a quiet moment, but it feels like the kind of quiet that feels good.

Jake mumbles something into my chest, and I tilt my head to hear him better. "Do you think Meadow's gonna like me?"

I can't help but smile, my fingers ruffling his hair. "Of course she will. You're the best uncle she could ever ask for. You're already her favorite."

He pulls back just enough to look up at me, his face brightening. "Really?"

"Really," I say, squeezing his nose for good measure. He giggles, and the sound eases some of the anxiety in my chest.

Tori stands, stretching before leaning down to kiss my cheek. "I'm gonna go grab some water. You want anything?"

"I'm good," I reply, watching as she gives me a small smile before heading toward the door. Jake watches her go, then looks back at me.

"She's nice," he says simply.

"She's the best," I agree, my lips twitching into a smirk. "And don't you forget it."

He grins, settling back against me as my gaze drifts to the rest of the room. The family we've cobbled together feels fragile but strong all at once. There's still so much to figure out, so much to heal, but sitting here with Jake and seeing Meadow safe and loved… It makes me feel good.

The door clicks softly as Tori returns, a water bottle in hand. She winks at me before sitting down beside us, her fingers brushing mine again. I take a deep breath and smile, feeling good.

Whatever happens, I'll be okay.

I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I might be uploading a bit more often for this story because I've decided to take a little break from my KiGo fic. I noticed I lost a good handful of followers after the most recent chapters, and I can't help but feel like maybe people didn't like the direction I was taking it.

I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but honestly? It really does. I've poured so much time, energy, and love into that story and to see readers drop off like that has been tough. I know every writer probably goes through this, but it still sucks, you know?

Right now, I feel like I need to step back and figure out where I want to go with that fic and whether I can continue it. If you're one of the readers who's been following my stories, I'm beyond grateful for your support. It really does mean the world. -Mercy