Chapter 32 / Florida
Why am I so tired and craving chocolate? You are pregnant. Should this surprise you? You've slept with Philip a thousand times in the last two months.
You've been trying for a while, but I just had a negative test. A thought comes to my mind that if I am pregnant, maybe there is a small chance the baby could be Shane's?
No, I am sure we used protection. I let this thought go. I am probably not pregnant, and if I am, the baby is Philip's.
We've arrived in Florida and are staying at Drury Hotels in Disney Springs. The weather is perfect in April in Orlando. We are in the room, laying in the bed together.
"Tomorrow is my forty-first birthday," Philip admitted.
"Would you like to go to Disney World to celebrate your birthday?" I said, letting him know I was on to his surprise.
"Your birthday. Our engagement. My possible pregnancy. We have a lot to celebrate," he says, pulling me close into his arms.
I smell the lavender in the new cologne he is wearing. I feel so safe in his arms. Still, at the back of my mind, I have doubts. We started dating in February. Now we are about to be engaged in April. That's only three months.
"Is this happening too fast?" I asked, looking into his blue-green eyes. His face changed from happy to something I hadn't seen before. When I told him I had cheated, he seemed disappointed, but I didn't get this look.
"Stop. You're overthinking everything because you're tired from all the traveling. I know meeting my dad and wedding dress shopping with my mom was a lot. I don't want you to feel pressured, but almost everything is planned. I love you and love me. There's absolutely no reason to wait," he says, pulling me closer.
He always says the right thing. I am tired from the airplane ride. I am not used to traveling so much.
"Philip, you're right. I'm tired. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," I said, takng off my shoes.
"Take a nap. We've had a busy few days planning the wedding. I'm going to get a few things and I'll grab a pizza from the shopping center. We can go out to dinner tonight or to the pool if you feel like it," he says, tucking me into bed. "Okay," I say, closing my eyes and accepting his words.
For some reason, I have this brief moment of feeling trapped, but I know that's crazy. Philip loves me, and I am just not used to being loved this much.