Chapter Four

This was hard as nourishment.

Nourishment.

Nour….ish…ment.

"Huey." Jazmine snapped her fingers, pointing at the olive oil "It's time to add your onions. They need some time to cook down."

I slowly added them to the pot, wincing when the olive oil hit my arm with a loud hiss.

"Ahhhhhhhh, nourishment!" I howled, gripping my arm tight.

The class started laughing, watching me wriggle back and forth.

It was humiliating.

"Uh-oh." Jazmine bit back a laugh and rushed off towards the back. "I'll be back."

I just nodded, angry as heaven with myself.

Before, I'd had a pain tolerance that was high as nourishment.

But now, that was over and done with.

My forearm was throbbing like the pits of Morning Star's dwelling; It was like I was a child again, experiencing pain for the very first time.

"And this." Jazmine snickered. "Is why I tell you all to be careful."

She nodded, handing me an aloe vera packet and a Band-Aid.

"Better a stained top than burned skin, I always say."

I rolled my eyes, grumbling.

"Thanks for the heads up, teacher."

Jazmine smirked, pointing back at the bowl. "Garlic."

"What?" My head snapped up to meet her gaze, suddenly enraptured by the beauty in it.

She paused.

"Um….." She stepped back, casting her eyes away from me. "It's time to add the garlic."

"Oh." I reached down and dumped the small bowl in the pot, raising a brow as I stirred it around.

"You don't cook much, do you?" Jazmine chuckled, watching as I stared at the pot like it would cook the meal for me.

"No." I shook my head. "I don't do a whole lot of cooking. A few sides of vegetables is all I need."

"You need to make some time." Jazmine smirked, reaching over me to dump some tomato paste in the pot. "You really are struggling. Hands down the worst case I've ever seen."

I laughed at her. "That's because you're a bad teacher."

"Oh, please." Jazmine motioned towards the class. "They'd all beg to differ. Isn't that right, class?"

"Girl, you da best!"

"The bomb dot com."

"Ain't nobody doin' it like you!"

"See?" She smiled, going back to stirring her ingredients. "They all love me."

"Yeah." I told her, laughing. "Because they're all biased."

She laughed as well, shrugging. "And you're not?"

"Nope." I said, adding the walnuts before she could do it.

"Liar." She rolled her eyes. "You're just a shitty cook."

"Watch it." I smirked, savoring the cuss word with a smile. "You can't talk to your students like that."

"Just did." She said, ignoring my surprised face. "Okay, class! It's time to cook your those lasagna noodles! Go ahead and add them to that boiling pot of water! It needs to cook down!"

"Ayeeeee. It's time to cook a pot downnnnn." Kenneth did a jig, grinning once the class rang out into laughter.

Meanwhile, I pulled out the small pieces of bread, raising a brow.

"Cheesy crotini?"

"We'll do that last." She nodded. "It won't take long to toast, and you can eat it while the soup cools."

"Wait….you all eat here?" I asked, staring around at everyone. "But ya'll barely fit."

Jazmine just shrugged casually, like she got this question often.

"We make it work." She said, pulling out a can of black beans and cocoa. "If we can cook here, we can eat here."

"Well please try not to burn the place down in the process." I snorted. "No need in killing everyone before they can enjoy it."

She blinked, her mouth dropping open.

She turned to me, her eyes narrowed, one hand trembling and the other flying up to her mouth.

"You're-"

"I'm a bit cynical though." I frowned, quickly smoothing things over. "Cousin died in a house fire."

"Oh, no." Her other hand flew to her mouth. "Huey, I'm sorry! I had no idea."

"It's all good." I nodded. "Let you tell it, I can't cook well enough to burn the place down, anyway."

"You said it." She grinned, raising a brow when people tossed their canned black beans in the food processor. "They've got me spoiled anyway. They know my recipes better than I do."

"Well, I don't." I grumbled, the words catching in my throat as she leaned closer, her slender palm brushing past my fingers. "Um…Jazmine?"

"Yeah?" She leaned forward, looking more tempting than the food I was making.

"What are you…" I shook my head, unable to look away. "I can make this myself."

"Uh huh." She bent down a little, making my day and the men who were watching her in the back. "Look."

She placed canned black beans into my hands, then the flaxseed meal.

"Blend that."

"No." I grimaced. "This looks nasty."

Jazmine laughed loud.

"It'll be good." She grinned after a moment. "After you add some vanilla, a little sugar, and cocoa powder?" She placed her hand on her forehead, swooning. "Honey, you'll never know the difference."

I was feeling more like Cairo now, frowning at her, while she went back to cooking his stupid meat.

"I don't know how you do this." I confessed, watching as she handled his food with care, humming as she gave it a whiff.

"How I do what?" She shot me a look, pointing back at my food processor. "And scoop that out. I already put some baking powder and cocoa powder in the other bowl. Just add the coconut oil and vanilla. Don't overmix it, either."

"Okay…." I dumped it all in and started mixing, over doing things one by one. "I'll chance it. I just wanna know how you cook like that for someone you were just fighting with."

Her eyes darkened.

"That's what marriage is all about." She shrugged.

"I mean…." I paused, lowering my voice. "I know that marriage is hard. I just never thought you could fight with someone like that and then…."

"Love them enough to cook for them?" Jazmine looked at me. "He's my husband, Huey. He's not terrible to me or anything like that. I just…." She sighed, looking down at the pot. "I just wanted him to be here, dedicate some time to us."

"And I get that." I nodded. "But he can't come through for you, if you don't let him in. I mean, if my wife had experienced what you had the first few years of being a business owner? I'd definitely wanna know."

"And then you'd think less of her for it." She snorted.

"No." I shrugged, thinking about it. "Well, maybe…but that's not the point."

"Then, what is?" She snapped.

"I just don't think Reverend Jackson is like that." I shrugged. "I'm serious, Jazmine. Dude came at you sideways, but he's just as frustrated as you are."

"He'll get over it." She snatched the bowl out of my hand, glaring hard. "And you almost overmixed. Pay attention."

I shrugged, taking the noodles off the burner and adding them to the sauce.

"Nobody died because I overmixed." I said, taking the time to watch her nostrils flare out. "I'm just think you should talk to him before things get worst."

"Why?" She turned around, no longer watching Cairo's food cook. "Why do you care?"

I kept my voice low, gentle.

"Because I'd hate to see you ruin a good thing." I said. "Especially over someone from your past."

She snorted, but I could hear the sniffle in it.

"You don't know what you're talking about." She turned around.

"We both know I do." I said, watching her. "You like to play dumb. That won't work with me."

She laid the tongs down, glaring at me.

"You're just like him." She rolled her eyes. "Always saying the wrong stuff."

"I'm nothing like Cairo." I snorted.

"That's not who I'm talking about." She said evenly. "You wouldn't understanded."

I sighed, nodding.

"I'm sorry."

"Again?" She was calm as she prepared the crotini, quiet.

"I just want you to talk to someone." I said. "What did the person like me do?"

"Take a wild guess." She glanced up at the class, blushing when she realized they were staring. "Okay, guys! Prep the toast while the noodles absorb the sauce we made! We'll be able to eat shortly after!" She lowered her voice, shrugging. "In the past, I was….casual with this guy I cared about, but the entire time, he made me feel low. Not on purpose or anything, but he had this way of talking to people, like he knew best and you knew worst…"

She blinked, staring at me.

"The way you talked to me a minute ago?" She shook her head, picking the spatula up again. "Reminded me of that all over again."

It wasn't an easy thing to hear, but I met her gaze anyway, knowing deep down I owed that much to her.

"Is that why you keep stuff to yourself?" I asked. "To keep Cairo from judging you?"

"Maybe." She shrugged. "I'm not sure."

I felt my halo beam brighter, my eyes trained on her.

"I don't believe you."

"Too bad." She met my gaze. "The one time I told a guy I loved everything, he cared less. Every feeling, every detail, every insecurity, never mattered. He didn't care or want to hear it. He wanted what he wanted until he didn't want it anymore. And then he left and died before I could hate him for it, so it's not as simple as talking to Cairo. It never was."

I nodded, swallowing.

I had done that.

I'd done of all that and more.

But I'd always cared.

I thought she knew I'd always cared.

"Maybe a part of him did want more." I said. "Maybe he didn't know how to show it."

"Well, he sure did know what to do." She said, tossing the crotini in the oven. "I'm over it, though. I'm not angry anymore, just different."

"I know." I nodded, wincing when I caught her glaring at me.

"Do you?" She put a hand on her hip. "Because Huey I swear, you've always-"

I turned the halo off, realizing.

She was letting me have it, right now, at the worst possible time.

Just because she needed closure with me.

And heavens….

Ah, love it.

"Maybe afterwards, we can do something, forget about the Huey you knew." I shrugged. "We could go on a sleigh ride downtown, look at some Christmas lights together."

She just sighed. "I guess. Cairo said he's coming home late. It probably wouldn't hurt."

Her eyes watered.

"Tell her all will be well."

"All will be well." The words tumbled from my mouth before I could stop them, causing my brows and hers to fly up.

"What?" She burst out laughing.

"All. Will Be. Well." I played it off, nodding triumphantly.

PING!

"Less smirking, more fixing!"

When the smirk faded from my lips, I scowled.

"What the heaven?!"

PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

I glared at the angel, relieved when the class dimmed and the humans froze.

"You control me?!" I barked, folding my arms. "This is some bullfertilizer." I wrinkled my nose. "Bull-fertilizer? For real?!"

"You were instructed not to fall in love with his wife." The angel frowned.

"That's not what I'm doing." I told her. "You told me to help, and I'm helping."

"Not correctly, dearest angel."

"I wish you'd act like I'm your dearest angel then." I scoffed. "This is getting old, quick."

"Better this than metal or brick." The angel smiled her even smile, her message loud and clear.

"Why control me?" I asked. "Can't you become human and fix it all, yourself?

"The Big Guy wants you to do it." She nodded, her wings flapping back and forth. "You don't want to face his wrath, Huey. We're talking plagues, floods, fires, meteors…."

"Meteors?" I raised a brow. "God relaly murked the dinosaurs on purpose? Can they even worship God?"

"Causalities of a spiritual war." She frowned. "He said all things that hath breath…. besides, that's before my time."

I blinked.

"Don't all angels have the same birthday?" I shook my head. "I mean, didn't God snap ya'll into existence once he made the heavens?"

Light beamed around the bible that was sitting behind Jazmine. The angel smiled at me.

"The answers are in that book." She nodded. "Let's focus on the best course of action moving forward. We all need a win."

"I'm still losing." I muttered.

"Better you than her." The angel glowed brighter, nodding serenely. "You already failed Jazmine once. Do you really want to fail her again?"

I looked where Jazmine was standing, my head shaking.

"I don't." I said. "But I refuse to be treated like a puppet. Gaining her trust is a process. Let me do what you brought me here to do."

"Only if you do better." The angel frowned "Jazmine is a married woman. She's not yours to have."

Something about that statement hurt. I gasped, the emotion sudden, heart-wrenching.

"What's wrong with me?" I gripped my chest, tears flowing from my cheeks.

"New body, poor impulse control." She nodded. "It'll fade. Sometimes, you're good. Other times, things are….new."

"New." I repeated. "Like a baby reacting to stimuli new?"

Ping!

"Exactly." The angel nodded, the light returning. "Fret not dearest angel. Help Jazmine as I help you."

"I don't need help." I said, glared at the angel, even when she glared back. "I don't."

But she was done arguing, leaving me to face the staring crowd alone.

"Damn, nigga." Kenneth chuckled, pulling the crotini out the oven. "We all need a lil help. It's aight. Not everyone can be Chef Boyarbree."

"It's Boyardee!" A woman called out.

"He knows what I'm talking about." Kenneth nodded, adding some brownie batter to a pan. "You'll feel better when you eat."

"Cuz you're not you when you're hungry!" Someone hollered.

I just shook my head.

African Americans.

"Jesse Jackson buried that word." The angel whispered.

I just sighed.

Love this nourishment.

Love this fertilizer.

Love this waste.

Ah, love it.

Godbless it, I for blessed sure missed cussing.