The weeks went by, then the months, and since Donna had spent some time with Harvey at Harvard, the two young people saw each other from time to time, but always in Hartford at the Specters. They also sent each other random messages, while in the meantime, both continued to live their lives on their own in their cities. Every time Harvey came home, he always sent a message to Donna to know where she was, if she was at her place, he would first pick her up and take her for a drive to park in abandoned places, the two of them making out for hours in the back of the car until he brought her home to go to his place afterwards and meet his family, pretending he just arrived. When she was already at the Specters, he only high-fived her and took advantage of Marcus having his back turned to kiss her passionately to greet her. It had been months, and their little arrangement was working and suited them well. One morning, while Marcus and Donna were having breakfast, the redhead deleted the last messages received by the future lawyer before pretending to be surprised to see him when he entered the house.
«Hey brother»
«Harvey, hey»
«Hey you»
«Harv, how are you?»
«Good. So, do you have any news from the universities?»
For another twenty minutes, the three young people talked while Harvey discreetly caressed the exposed part of Donna's lower back as she was sitting while the two brothers discussed the last baseball game they had seen. If Donna and Harvey were both ready, Marcus excused himself to go upstairs to get dressed, leaving the other two alone. Once they heard Marcus' bedroom door slammed shut, Harvey grabbed Donna's waist before throwing her on the floor in the middle of the kitchen and kissing her passionately, Donna pushing him away as she was straddling her.
«Harvey»
«What?»
«Are you crazy? Your brother is —»
«— upstairs»
«I'm serious, let go of me»giggled Donna.
«Alright, come on»
As he straightened up, he held out his hand to Donna and helped her up too before kissing her one last time, the two of them taking their places around the kitchen island once again.
«Aren't you freaking out too much?»
«About college? A little. I mean, in my head, it's Yale. I can't tell myself that I'm going to do something else, so if I don't get in— »
«You're going to get in»
«I hope»
«I'll tell you»
«Well, if you say so»
«What are you two talking about?»
«Student parties. Donna was telling me she couldn't wait to»chuckle Harvey.
«No, I didn't»snorted the redhead.
«Why not?»asked Marcus.
«Me? Students party? Please, I don't even drink alcohol, and I'm going to end up there»
« Well, this is your chance to get your first drunk, Red »
«At college? Oh, no. God knows what I'm going to do and the embarrassment I'm going to get»
For a few hours, they talked about everything and nothing until Donna left the Specter's to go home. That same evening, while Harvey was watching television with his brother and father, he was discreetly sending messages to the redhead, a small smile on his lips.
Hey
Hey
What are you doing?
I'm reading a book in my room. What about you?
Watching baseball with Marcus and dad. Are your parents home?
Just my mom, why?
If I show up at your house and climb up the gutter to your room, will she notice?
I don't think so, she's already asleep. Why?
I have something for you.
What?
Surprise. Be there in fifteen
As soon as his phone was locked, he stood up before speaking.
«I'm going for a run, don't wait for me»
«Now? But son, it's almost eleven»
«I need to move, I've been sitting all day»
«Excuse me Usain Bolt»
«Marcus, stop — alright. See you, son»
«Good night, Harv»
«See you, Marcus — Bye dad»
As soon as he was outside, he got into his car dressed wearing only dark gray sweatpants, a matching hoodie, and a tight white t-shirt under as he headed to the nearest night shop before taking out his ID and paying at the cash register. Ten minutes later, he parked two blocks from the redhead's house before taking the bag on his shoulder, heading into the dark street, and going around the house to finally climb onto the gutter at the back. When he reached the second floor, he discreetly knocked on Donna's window before she let him in.
«Hey»
«Hey»
After a brief kiss, he put the bag on her bed while the redhead watched with a questioning look as she heard the sound of glasses in the bag.
«What's going on?»
«Well, I've been thinking about what you said earlier, you know, the fact that your first hangover would be in college and what could happen»
«Yeah? And?»
«And you're going to get your first hangover tonight with me, so you won't be surprised if it happens it the future»
«What?»
«I got you drinks, you get wasted, you see what it does, and I'm watching youso you don't do shit »
«Harvey, this is a terrible idea»
«Donna, tomorrow is Saturday, you don't have school, and your mother has spa and pilates in the morning. No one except me will know you're hungover. You have faith in me?»
«Always»
«Alright, then. I got you a mix of alcohol that you can find at student parties: here is peach vodka, there is beer, and I also got you a bit of whiskey — my favorite — and a lot of other colorful shit»
«I'm going to be sick»
«Hell yeah, you are»chuckled Harvey.
«Jesus»
«Alright, let's start?»
«Yup»
As the two of them settled down on the redhead's bed, he started by handing her an alcohol as Harvey laughed seeing Donna grimace, then he made her try another one and another one while they chatted about everything and nothing, Harvey limiting himself to a simple beer so he could keep an eye on her. Barely an hour after starting to drink, Donna was completely wasted. Between the fact that it was the first time, the speed at which she had drunk, and the different mixtures, it had not taken much for the redhead to start feeling the first effects.
«It's hot in here, isn't it?»chuckled Donna.
«Come on, take off your sweater, you'll feel better already»
«Just to see me without it»snorting the redhead.
«Hey, I remind you that I even saw you without a shirt»
«You even kissed my bare stomach, you were insane for that»
«What? You liked it»
«I more than liked it»
«Hey, do you realize that now that you're drunk, you won't be able to lie to me?»
«Like a truth serum?»
«Yup»
«Alright, let's start. Ask me anything»
As she took another sip of vodka, grimacing at the burning sensation in her throat, she sat against the headboard, Harvey on the other side, as he thought about his first question.
«Why didn't it work with Mark?»
«Well, I didn't necessarily like his kisses»
«Really?»
«Yeah, like we French kissed, and if with you it was hot and delicate, with him, I felt like I was suffocating»
«So I was right»
«About?»
«I'm a better kisser»
«Hell yeah, you are»
«Alright, good to know. Your turn»
«Hum, I know I'm not the only one, but are there a lot of them at Harvard?»
«It depends what you mean by a lot»smiled Harvey.
«Well, for me, there's only you, so I don't really have a comparison, but I don't know, how many since I came to Harvard?»
«I'd say about ten?»
Seeing the redhead grimaced, Harvey chuckled before leaning in to kiss her and murmur against her lips.
«But those making out were never as good as with you»
«I'm sure you say that to all the girls»
«No, I swear»
«Sure»snorted the redhead.
«I swear, Donna»
«Anyway, your turn again»
«Hum, what's your favorite thing I do to you?»
«When you're a little more violent»
«Violent?»
«No, I mean a little more... passionate? I don't know when you put your hand around my neck, when you pull my hair or squeeze my hips harder than usual»
«Alright, so you're into BDSM... I'll take note»smiled Harvey.
«What? No, I'm not — are you insane? Anyway, forget about it.. What about you?»
«When you bite me»
«And I'm the one into BDSM? Please»snorted the redhead.
«What? I mean, I like to see the mark of your teeth in my skin even a few days later»
«Like that?»
As she sank her teeth into his carotid, Harvey did everything not to moan before he whispered in a sexy voice.
«Exactly like that. Alright, my turn now»
«Tell me?»
«I feel like cutting my hair and— »
«Don't»
«What?»chuckled Harvey.
«I like your hair like that»
«Really?»
«Yeah, I like to run my fingers through it and pull on it a little»
«I'll keep it long then, just for you»
«My hero — anyway, that was your question?»
«Yep»
«It was a shitty question, anyway, my turn then. Hum.. do you find me attractive?»
«You're hot»
«Like most of the girl you're making out, right?»
«No. You're hotter than anyway else»
«Really?»
«Yeah»
«You know you can tell me the truth, I mean, I won't remember shit the next day. I don't even remember the beginning of our conversation already»
«Alright. So, the truth is that I always found you beautiful, but I didn't consider you more because you're Marcus' best friend. But I don't know, that night, when you told me that you'd never kissed anyone, maybe I was touched by your sincerity or was jealous at the idea that another guy would have had the honor, but I wanted to kiss you so much»
«And you did»
«Yeah. And it was so good»
«So good»
«Now, I can't do without it»chucked Harvey.
«I can see that»giggled Donna.
«Please, you can't do without it either»snorted Harvey.
«Oh, I have no problem admitting that I love our make-out sessions. Actually, you're my first, so it's pretty exciting»
«A good first, right?»
«So good»
«Whose turn was it?»
«No idea, let's say mine»
As she urged him to move, the two of them found themselves sitting against the headboard next to each other, the redhead's head resting delicately on his shoulder as he heard her whisper softly.
«Are you ever going to commit? To anyone? Not even to the one?»
«No»
«Why not? Because of your mom?»
«Exactly»
«It's sad, you don't deserve that»
«What do you mean?»
«You're a good guy, Harv. You deserve to be happy and loved, for real. Any girl would be lucky to have you as a partner, even though I prefer the real Harvey, my Harvey»
«You're drunk»smiled the young man.
«Maybe, but I'm sincere»
«Can I tell you something personal?»
«I'm drunk as fuck, so yeah, go ahead. I will forget in an hour anyway»
«Alright — From time to time, I'm wondering if you're the one for me. I feel different when I'm with you, like I can truly be myself without hiding and pretending to be this guy so sure of himself and cool. Every time I think about a serious relationship, I can't help but believe that, at some point, someone will leave me, betray me, or do some kind of bullshit, but when I'm with you, I don't feel any of that. You are beautiful and sexy for sure — god, so beautiful it's insane — but you are so sweet, intelligent, and kind. Everything about you appeals to me. I like the way you laugh or even snort, I find it so cute. I like how you can kiss me passionately or delicately, knowing exactly what I need and without even asking me. I love how you love just spending time with me to talk or laugh, never expecting anything from me. I love how you are simple, without artifice, and yet so incredible. Even if I think all that about you, I can't do that to you. I'm too fucked up in my head, and even if we're almost the same age, you're young and you still have so much to live, and I'm not the right one for that. I'm so afraid of screwing up and making you fall with me, you don't deserve that. So, even if I dream of moving on with you, living more, I know my heart is capable of it, that's for sure, my body too, but I'm not sure my head can. So I don't know, I'm probably doing you a favor by not being ready. Maybe I'm avoiding ruining a part of your innocence, but I don't think I'll ever be ready. I hope you don't blame me for that»
As he waited for a response from her, he was surprised to hear her softly snoring and smiled sadly before whispering again.
«Maybe it's for the best that you didn't hear me»
He then pulled out delicately and moved to take her against him to lift the sheets and slide her underneath, removing her slippers and covering her with the sheets. He then collected all the small empty bottles and cans, emptying the bottoms in the sink before putting everything back in his bag, hiding it in a corner. Hesitating for a few seconds, not wanting for her to wake up alone with a hangover, he took off his shoes and his hoodie, finding himself in sweatpants and a t-shirt, he lay down next to her on top of the sheets and fell asleep immediately, the smell of the redhead mixing with the one of the alcohol spreading throughout the room. The next day, as he was fast asleep, he felt movement rushing next to him and barely had time to open his eyes to see the redhead running towards the bathroom. Hearing her throwing up, he got up to join her and hold her hair until she was done.
«Are you alright?»
«Never again, Harv»
«That's what I said the first time too. And now, I'm throwing up every Saturday morning»
«I'm not as brave as you, then»
«It's alright. I'm going to make you a coffee, and an Advil is already on your bedside table»
«My mother left?»
«It's nine o'clock»
«She is, then»
«Alright, I'll be back»
After one last kiss on her head, Harvey discreetly left the redhead's room to prepare two coffees, one for her and one for him, as well as a large glass of water before going back up to her room. This time, she had put her sweater back on, made a ponytail, and just finished brushing her teeth while Harvey was now sitting on her bed, a coffee in one hand, the other scrolling on his phone. Donna then settled down next to him before sighing, intertwining her fingers with his as he let go of his phone.
«Hey, take your Advil»
«I've never had such a headache»
«I know»
«I'm not sure I'd drink in college»
«Well, at least you'll have experienced it once»
«Yeah. What was I like? I was sad drunk? Aggressive drunk? Reckless Drunk?»
«You were happy drunk»
«Really?»smiled the redhead.
«Yeah. We just kept talking and laughing, it's just that you talk more easily, but otherwise, you're cool when you're drunk»
«Good to know. What were we talking about?»
«A lot of things»
«Such as?»
«I know you're into BDSM»
«What?»choked Donna.
«I'm kidding, no, we talked about everything and nothing, about us, about the future, you know, that kind of thing»
«You won't say anything more?»
«Nope. Come on, drink your coffee»
«Yes, boss»
«I have to go, by the way»
«Already?»
«Yeah, I lied yesterday, saying I was going for a run, and I haven't come home yet. If I'm too late, they'll ask questions»
«Alright»
«I'll keep you in touch»
«Sure»
«See you, Donna»
«See you, Harv»
As he unconsciously leaned in to kiss her, their lips met in a quick kiss before the young man left her room and then her house, leaving the redhead alone as she went back to bed to start a series on her laptop, the smell of Harvey present in the sheets enveloping the redhead, making her feel safe. For Harvey, he spent the whole ride back thinking about what he had said to Donna, not really knowing what to do with that. Barely half an hour later, he was back home, where his brother and father were looking at him strangely.
«You spent the night out?»
«I didn't know I had to answer to you, Marcus»smirked Harvey.
«Hey, don't be mean to your brother»
«No, I came home late last night, and this morning, I went for another run when everyone was still asleep, and I picked up Thai for lunch»
«Thanks, son»
«Are you training for the Boston Marathon?»snorted Marcus.
«Well, at least one of the Specter sons must be athletic. It's not thanks to you that we're going to win anything in this family»
As the two brothers bickered, the father laughed before resuming the conversation. After lunch, when Harvey was due to return to Harvard, Gordon decided to walk him to his car before talking to him.
«Hey, son. Do you mind talking for a sec?»
«Of course, what's going on?»
«What's going on with you?»
«What do you mean?»
«For a few months now, you've been different, you've been coming back to Hartford more often, you're in a better mood, less angry with the world, and — I don't know — more peaceful»
«I hadn't noticed»
«You met someone special?»
«What? No»
«You know you can talk to me about anything, Harvey»
«I know, dad. But forget it, okay? Everything's fine, and I'm fine too»
«Alright»
«That's all?»
«Yeah, yeah. Drive safe, son»
«Alright. See you, dad»
As soon as he got into the car, Harvey started the engine and left Hartford to go back to Harvard. On the way, the future lawyer thought back to his father's words. He knew very well what made him different: the redhead whose bed he had gotten out of this morning. She had this indescribable power that made him feel calm and peaceful, as soon as he saw her or received a message from her, it was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders, and he couldn't help but always be happy. She might be the one for with — probably — but that didn't stop him from thinking the same: he couldn't break her and make her fall with him, she was way too perfect for that. So as complicated as this choice was, he made a decision.
He couldn't do that to her.