Enjoy!

Part Two

Addiction was hard. Accepting you had one was even harder. I looked at Mercedes as she received her fifteen days sober pin and smiled. She found a program that celebrated the small accomplishments to encourage them to keep going.

Fifteen days. She'd been living with me and it had been difficult at first but then it started to get easier each day that she went to her meetings. Well easier for her but I knew what came with her being sober.

Hope.

So much fucking hope and even more desire. I hated that seeing her sober and present made me want her even more. She walked over holding her pin, a soft smile on her face.

She looked effortlessly beautiful. Her shiny hair was pulled back in a coily bun that looked like a soft cloud. She was wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and one of my Avengers shirts.

I never knew how sexy someone wearing my shirts could be until she started wearing them. She said she needed the full support of the Avengers for her meetings and had worn one of my shirts every time.

"I made it to the halfway mark." She said looking up at me. "Next thing you know, it'll be three months."

I smiled. "You did, I'm proud of you." I said, pulling her into a hug. "How should we celebrate?"

She wrapped her arms around my middle and sighed. "Tacos and The Princess Diaries?"

I groaned playfully, walking her out towards my truck. "Your obsession with those movies scare me." I replied, making her laugh.

"Uh-huh, don't act like you don't get all teary eyed when Mia becomes the Queen of Genovia!"

She was right, I loved that moment but I'd never admit it. "Eh, I'm just a huge fan of Julie Andrews." I joked, opening the door for her. "Besides, you cry too."

She shook her head getting in. "Of course I cry, Mia chose her own way and was happy."

She had a way of saying things that made me wonder. What would be her version of choosing her own way and being happy? I just chuckled and closed the door, walking to the drivers side when my phone started going off.

I looked.

Mary Chamberlain, the screen read and I sighed. It was my mother.

She did not support my friendship with Mercedes and has been incessantly calling me. I hadn't answered but I was feeling nice today and decided to entertain myself.

"Hello." I said getting inside and starting the truck. Mercedes tilted her head at me and I mouth Mary to which her eyes grew wide and she started fiddling with her pin.

"Well look who decided to acknowledge his mother. How are you Samuel?"

"I've been well, how's pop?" I asked ignoring her slight,

She huffed. "Is it true you have Mercedes living with you? I thought we agreed that if we're going to live in the family house, she couldn't be there."

I pulled out of the parking lot, rolling my eyes. "I moved two years ago, Stace lives there now. Shows how much you've been paying attention."

"You will not speak to me like-"

I chose to hang up then. "Street tacos or homemade?" I asked, placing my phone down and smiling over at Mercedes.

She looked at me worriedly. "I assume she's not happy with us living together?"

I really didn't want to have this conversation but I could tell it was bothering her. "Hey, Mary doesn't dictate anything I do with my life. I like that we're living together so that's all that matters. Don't let her trigger you."

Mercedes nodded, her smile not reaching her eyes. I wasn't entirely sure when her and my mother fell out but I do know when it happened Mercedes stayed away for a long time and she was clean but something happened that triggered her and she reappeared.

That night was burned into my soul. It was raining, I was working on a project when I heard the soft tapping at my door. I'd been living at the family house at the time. So there were glass doors and wall to ceiling windows, she was at the side door.

I could tell she'd been using again because of the constant scratching she was doing while she waited for me to open the door. I hesitated, only for a moment.

I could tell something had happened because even in the rain, I saw the tears falling. It was my lowest point… what I allowed to happen- I tried pushing it from my mind but she didn't remember.

I looked for signs of her remembering but after what happened, I knew she would probably never try to reform those memories,

"Sam?"

I blinked, clearly lost in my thoughts. "Yeah?"

"I said we should get street tacos." She said, looking at me. "I figured it'll be faster than cooking cause I'm starving."

I smiled. "Street tacos it is!" I said heading toward our favorite food truck.

One thing I loved most about her being sober is that she gained her weight back. She looked healthy.

She was healthy and it was the most beautiful sight. I must've been looking too long because she did her signature smirk and eye roll before looking out the window.

"You know one day we're gonna need to talk about that." She muttered and I felt my face warm up.

"Talk about what?" I asked, feigning confusion.

She didn't look away from the window. Something about the way trees always fascinated her. "About you never stepping up and asking me out."

She was so damn blunt sometimes. I chuckled. "I have my reasons." I said, pulling down the gravel road and seeing the food truck. "You could ask me, you know? You're an independent woman."

She snickered, shaking her head. "You have no idea…"

I looked over at her, seeing that she was looking at me intensely. There was more to that statement but for sake of keeping today jovial, I dismissed it.

"The usual?" I asked, unbuckling.

She looked at me a little while longer before smiling. "Sure but I want extra rice today."

"You always want extra rice." I joked before getting out and going to order.

I looked down at my pin. It felt heavy in my hands. Fifteen days sober wasn't new for me but celebrating it was. I looked out the window seeing Sam talking happily to the man working the food truck and felt a pang in my chest.

Sam didn't understand why I kept falling off the wagon. He understood addiction but the triggers… I kept those to myself. I wanted to be clean this time though, I wanted to stay clean.

I wanted a lot of things but at night, when I woke up at three wishing I had something to just help me sleep… it was a battle. My sponsor told me that I could call her anytime and I did when it was bad but there was small piece of me that wished I could just crawl into bed with Sam and sleep.

I couldn't. It would give him the type of hope I couldn't guarantee that I could keep up. I knew eventually this arrangement would need to end but he told me that he wanted to help. He was always wearing that cape.

He wore it well too.

My phone dinged and I felt anxiety slowly creeping in. I had the same number since I was sixteen and that particular ring was reserved for one person.

Mary Chamberlain-Evans. I had been ignoring her messages for years now, they came only when she knew I was around Sam. Sighing I looked at the message

Mercedes. We had a deal.

I read the message four times before I realized I was squeezing my pin so tightly that it punctured my skin. I scrolled up and read the past messages, feeling my heart racing. She had been keeping close tabs on me again. I looked out the window again, a small smile playing on lips- Sam really was the safest person I knew. I lov-

No. I chide myself. He's my friend and that's all. That's all it will ever and could ever be. Looking back at my phone I read Mary's message one last time before blocking her number and letting out a deep breath.

I knew what would happen when she found out she couldn't communicate with me anymore but this time I intended to stay clean… for mine and his sake.

I loved Sam's place. His family's house was like being in a house of mirrors this place was so much better. A small part of me envied how successful he was but then I remembered how hard he worked to get to this point. I knew deep down that I could have been in the same position as him but… I didn't feel like going down that dark road.

Sam was the only one that really knew what happened to me in depth and he still didn't know everything.

"Okay couch or bed?" He asked and I had to think about what he was asking.

"Oh we can watch it in your room, since Stacey got you that massive bed!" I replied, grabbing the tray that had my food on it and walking past him. "Besides, you always get all crazy when I spill rice on your comforter." I added snickering.

He rolled his eyes. "I feel like you do it on purpose."

I gasped. "How dare you insinuate such a thing. I have you know I took etiquette classes until…" I stopped, feeling a button being pressed. I had to blink a few times before I settled my mind.

Sam's eyes showed concern but he didn't say anything. He was patient enough to let me work through the emotions. "Well you failed at eating rice." He joked carefully. Gently, he nudged me further down the hall to his room. "Besides I have a mat for you now."

I let out a laugh, walking to his room and sighing when I looked at it. I envied Stacey's ability to style anything. His room was like a warm fire on a freezing day. Everything looked cozy but also very masculine, it smelled like him.

Amber and Bourbon. Even when we were younger he just smelled… delicious. My brother used to say I was so drained to Sam because he was my person. I smiled at that memory. He was always saying weird shit like that but I'd pay a million dollars just to hear him say something like that again.

"… and after we finish the second one we can watch the new episode of WandaVision."

I nodded, climbing onto his bed and getting comfortable. "You do know the series aired two years ago right?"

He smiled. "Yes but you didn't see any of it so it's new for you."

I rolled my eyes. "We could just binge it, you know?"

He sat next to me, his knee brushing mine as he shifted his long legs. "Now that wouldn't be fun, would it? Besides, it gives you something to look forward to every week."

I giggled. "You're such a controlling dork."

He looked at me, mouth full of taco smiling. "Eh you'll get over it." He said before grabbing the remote and turning on the movie.

In a different time, in a different world this would be the beginning of our love story. Well the middle before he proposes and we get married. I hate how comfortable he was… I hate that was so willing to be a comfort to me.

I hated it because I knew it gave him too much hope. Laying here, nestled under his arms, watching the movie and hearing his steady breathing was better than any drug I've ever taken and it was the most painful and terrifying thing to get hooked on.

It's crazy how I could make sure to only dabble in this but anything else I over indulged in. If he was a Percocet I would avoid him, if he was coke I would flush him away but he wasn't. He was warm and safe and my body wanted to destroy him.

That's why I couldn't give in. He deserved so much more than an addict that only knew how to take. I looked up at him, his long lashes shielding his eyes. The unintentional smile on his full lips and his scent… I needed to create distance before I did something I regretted.

I shifted, just enough to keep him safe. He looked down at me, tilting his head and I mustered up a smile.

"Hip." I said as if that explained anything.

He smirked. "I wasn't gonna say anything but they were digging into me." He said jokingly.

I laughed, hitting him playfully. "Oh please, you liked it."

He shrugged. "Eh, they're soft and all but I need my space."

I sat up on my elbows, looking at him amused. "Well don't let me crowd you." I reply, moving away from and crawling to the foot of the bed. "There."

He laughed, grabbing my ankle and pulling me back up against his chest. "That's too much space."

I laughed, shaking my head. "See, controlling dork." I quipped looking up at him and when his eyes met mine I knew I was in trouble.

Sam looked at me like I was going to float away if he let go. "I gotta keep you close." He muttered, his eyes looking at my lips then back at me.

Just look away, I screamed in my mind but I couldn't. No, that's a lie. I didn't want to look away. "I'm not going anywhere this time." I said and I believed it when I said it.

He didn't say anything, he just brushed his hand along my cheek before using it to tilt my head up further. He didn't wait for me to pull away this time… he kissed me and it was exactly like I remembered it was. The sweetest drug, so intoxicating and giving, his lips felt like soft marshmallows and he tasted like the beer he'd been sipping on earlier.

It felt like my first hit of coke, my heart raced and kept racing until I started to float. The only difference was that she felt Sam pull her back down, his hand caressing her hip, hot and warm and so damn addicting.

"Merce…" his voice was so thick, sexy.

I should've stopped him then. I really should have but the thing with having an addictive personality, once you get a taste, you crave more.

I kissed him and moved so that I was straddling him, I wanted everything. Fuck I really, truly wanted everything he wanted to give me.

Selfish.

I forced that voice out of my mind, focusing on Sam and his lips and hands. I didn't remember him being this good at kissing but my memory was shitty when it mattered.

I remembered kissing him before though… I remember liking it, like now but now there was definitely more. I settled on his lap, feeling him hard underneath me.

"Sammy." I moaned, running my hands through his hair, tugging at his silky hair.

He ran his hand underneath my top, causing goosebumps and little bolts of electricity to flow through my body. I rocked my hips against him, needing to feel more.

"Cedes, we…" he said but I kissed him to stop him from finishing his sentence.

"I don't want to stop." I leaned back pulling my shirt off, our eyes locking and the satisfaction I felt when I said he wanted me just as badly.

That's one thing that the drugs didn't do. They never looked at me like Sam was… like he always did. He looked at me like I could hang the moon and rearrange the stars.

He licked his lips, his hands resting on my hips. "I don't want to be a trigger…"

I smiled. "You could never be a trigger, you're better than any drug."

He ran a finger along my hip moving upward to my stomach. "Are you sure about this?"

"I trust you."

And I meant it, I trusted Sam with my entire soul. I just didn't trust myself to be what he thought I was or who I was.

He smiled at my words, his eyes shining with a mix of desire and something deeper, something that made my heart ache in a way I wasn't ready to examine too closely. His hands continued their gentle exploration, leaving trails of fire across my skin as they moved higher, cupping my breasts through the thin fabric of my bra.

I arched into his touch, a soft moan escaping my lips. It had been so long since I'd been touched like this, with so much care. Most of the men I'd been with while using were only interested in a quick fix, a momentary escape. But Sam... Sam touched me like I was something precious, something to be savored.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. "I've wanted this for so long..."

"Then take it," I whispered back, reaching behind me to unclasp my bra, letting it fall away. "I'm yours, Sammy. All yours."

He surged up to capture my mouth in a searing kiss, one hand tangling in my hair while the other palmed my breast, his thumb brushing over the sensitive peak and making me gasp. I ground down against him, feeling his hardness pressing deliciously against my core. All rational thought fled as desire consumed me. I needed him, needed to feel his skin against mine, to have him deep inside me.

His hands roamed my body hungrily as our kisses grew more fervent, tongues tangling. In a flurry of movement, the rest of our clothes were shed until there was nothing separating us. I paused for a moment, drinking in the sight of him laid bare before me, his tanned skin and toned muscles. God, he was beautiful.

"Merce," he breathed, eyes dark with lust and adoration. "Are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure of anything," I replied, meaning it with every fiber of my being.

Slowly, I sank down onto him, both of us moaning at the exquisite sensation. He filled and stretched me so perfectly. I began to move, rocking and grinding, finding a rhythm that had us both panting. His hands gripped my hips, guiding me, urging me on.

The pleasure built and crested inside me like a tidal wave. I threw my head back, crying out his name as the intense pleasure crashed over me. Sam thrust up into me, once, twice more before finding his own release with a guttural groan. I collapsed against his chest, both of us breathing heavily as we came down from the high of our several long moments we just held each other, basking in the afterglow. His fingers traced idle patterns on my back while I listened to the steady thump of his heartbeat beneath my ear. I knew we would have to talk about this, about what it meant, but for now I just wanted to savor being in his arms.

Eventually our breathing evened out and I felt him press a tender kiss to the top of my head. "That was..." he trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words.

"Amazing," I finished for him, snuggling into his embrace with a contented sigh. "You're amazing, Sam."

"So are you," he murmured, tightening his arms around me. "I lo- I'm so glad we finally did that."

I pretended not to notice his near slip, even as my heart clenched painfully in my chest. This was dangerous territory we were venturing into. Sex was one thing, but love? Love was the most potent drug of all, and I knew I wasn't strong enough to handle it. Not now, maybe not ever.

I forced those dark thoughts away, focusing instead on the blissful sensation of lying tangled up with Sam, skin on skin. A thin sheen of sweat cooled on our bodies and I became aware of a growing stickiness between my thighs. As much as I wanted to stay cocooned in his embrace forever, practicality won out.

"I think I need a shower," I murmured, pressing a kiss to his chest before extracting myself from his arms and sitting up. The loss of his warmth made me shiver. "Care to join me?" I glanced at him over my shoulder with a coy smile.

His eyes darkened with renewed desire as they raked over my nude form. "Absolutely," he agreed readily, already moving to follow me off the bed.

Hand in hand, we made our way to the en-suite bathroom, exchanging heated glances and teasing touches. Once inside, Sam reached into the spacious glass shower to twist the faucet. Almost instantly, steam began to fill the room as the spray pounded against the tiles.

Pulling me flush against him, Sam claimed my mouth in a deep, sensual kiss that left me lightheaded. By the time we stepped under the hot cascade of water, I was already aching for him again. The slick slide of our wet bodies only heightened my arousal as Sam's hands roamed my curves, mapping every inch of my skin. He backed me up against the cool tiles, his hardness pressing insistently against my stomach.

"Sam," I gasped as he trailed open-mouthed kisses down the column of my throat. "Please..."

He nipped at my collarbone before soothing the sting with his tongue. "Please what, baby? Tell me what you need."

"You," I breathed. "I need you."

A low growl rumbled in his chest as he hoisted me up, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his trim waist. I locked my ankles at the small of his back, my arms twining around his neck. Our eyes met, the intensity in his emerald gaze stealing my breath.

Slowly, almost torturously, he entered me, inch by delicious inch until he was seated to the hilt. We both moaned at the exquisite sensation, savoring the feeling of our joined bodies.

Sam's thrusts set a steady, deliberate rhythm as the hot water cascaded over our joined bodies. Each drag of his hard length inside me stoked the flames of my desire higher. I clung to his shoulders, my nails digging into his skin as I rocked my hips to meet his.

"God, Merce," he panted against my neck. "You feel incredible. So tight, so perfect."

I couldn't form a coherent response, too lost in the building pleasure. The cool tiles against my back and the hot, hard planes of Sam's body pressed against my front were a delicious contrast. His mouth found my breast, teeth grazing my nipple and making me cry out.

One of his hands slipped between us, finding my sensitive bundle of nerves. He stroked me in time with his thrusts and I saw stars, my head falling back against the shower wall. The dual sensations were almost too much to bear. I could feel my climax rapidly approaching, coiling tighter and tighter low in my belly.

"Sam, I'm going to..." I gasped, my fingers tangling in his wet hair.

"That's it, baby," he encouraged, his voice a low rumble against my skin. "Let go for me. I've got you."

His words were my undoing. With a keening cry, I shattered in his arms, my body clenching around him as waves of ecstasy crashed over me. Sam followed me over the edge a moment later, my name a reverent groan on his lips as he spilled himself deep inside me.

We stayed locked together as the aftershocks rolled through us, the water starting to cool as our racing hearts gradually slowed. Sam peppered my face with soft kisses, murmuring words of praise and affection. I soaked up his tender ministrations like a sponge, never wanting this blissful moment to end. Eventually, he gently set me back on my feet, steadying me when my knees threatened to buckle. We took our time washing each other, hands slick with soap gliding over curves and planes. It was sensual without being overtly sexual, an intimate act of care.

Once we were both clean and the water had run cold, Sam shut off the spray and reached for a fluffy towel, wrapping it around me before grabbing one for himself. We dried off in comfortable silence, exchanging soft smiles and lingering touches.

Leaving the steamy bathroom, I padded naked to the dresser and pulled out one of Sam's well-worn t-shirts. The fabric was soft against my skin as I slipped it over my head, the hem falling to mid-thigh. Sam came up behind me, now clad in a pair of low-slung sweatpants, and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Looks good on you," he murmured, pressing a kiss to my temple.

I turned in his embrace, looping my arms around his neck and smiling up at him. "Everything of yours looks good on me."

He chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest. "Can't argue with that." His expression sobered, eyes searching mine. "Merce... what happened tonight..."

I placed a finger over his lips, halting his words. "I don't regret it, if that's what you're worried about. It was exactly what I wanted." I said.

He smiled, nodding. "Stay with me tonight… I… I mean in my room."

My eyes darted to his bed, the mere thought of sharing it with someone sending shivers down my spine. Fighting back nerves, I met his gaze and forced a tight smile. "Fine, Sam. I'll stay." My stomach churned as I realized the vulnerability I was about to expose myself to by spending the night in his bed. But for some reason, I couldn't say no to him.

Sam beamed at my agreement, his eyes crinkling at the corners in that way I adored. Taking my hand, he led me over to the king-sized bed, the sheets still rumpled from our earlier activities. We slipped beneath the soft cotton, automatically gravitating towards each other.

Sam gathered me close, my head coming to rest on his broad chest. I could hear the steady thump of his heartbeat beneath my ear, the rhythm soothing. His fingers trailed lazily up and down my spine, raising goosebumps on my skin.

We stayed in that position for some time, simply enjoying the peaceful intimacy of being intertwined. I sank deeper into the comforting white noise of his fan and the rhythm of his breathing. Glancing up at him, I took in every detail of his face before breaking into a smile.

"Goodnight, Sammy."

He returned my smile and pulled me closer, enveloping me in his warmth. "Night Cedes."

I awoke slowly, a contented smile playing on my lips as he stretched languidly under the soft sheets. Memories of the previous night with Mercedes flooded my mind - the feel of her smooth skin under my hands, the breathy moans that spilled from her lips as I worshiped her body, the way she clung to me as we both found release. It had been everything I'd ever dreamed of and more.

Rolling over, I reached out for her, eager to pull her warm body back into my arms. But my hand met only empty space and cool sheets. Frowning, I opened my eyes, blinking against the morning light filtering through the curtains.

"Merce?" I called out, my voice rough with sleep. The only response was silence.

Sitting up, I scanned the room, a sinking feeling settling in my gut as I took in the distinct lack of Mercedes' presence. Her clothes that had been scattered on the floor were gone. The t-shirt she'd worn to bed was folded neatly on the dresser. There was no sign of her anywhere.

"FUCK!"

It's about to get fun ;)