A/N Another long chapter. One more to go. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed the story.
An Unexpected Blessing
Chapter 8
Holly drove to Jethro's house arriving a few minutes after 5:00. She was happy to see his car was not in the driveway. She spent a few minutes on her phone reading emails and responded to a couple of them. Logan began to fuss so she went to the back seat and took him out of his car seat. She was sitting in the backseat with him with the door open when Jethro drove up. She got out and stood by the car with Logan in her arms. She watched as Jethro shut off the car and then sat looking at her. She almost laughed at the surprised look on his face. She turned Logan around so he was facing Jethro and held his arm up and waved at Jethro in the car. Finally, Jethro got out smiling and came to them.
"Well, this is a surprise. I feel like maybe I've been manipulated somehow."
"You certainly have been, Agent Gibbs. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all. I have feeling I should probably get used to it."
"Well, I don't think it will be necessary all that often. Is there something here I need to know about Jethro?"
"Allison have anything to do with you bein' here?"
"Yes. I'm worried about you Jethro. About us as a matter of fact. You've been avoiding spending time with me and even with Logan. That's a problem don't you agree?"
"Yes and I'm sorry. That ends today. Come on. I'll answer all your questions and show you why I've been absent so much lately."
Jethro took Logan from her and led her into the house. As soon as she stepped in the door it was obvious what was happening. She looked around taking in the almost complete destruction of the kitchen and dining area and all the mess in the rest of the downstairs.
"My goodness Jethro, what in the world?"
"I figured it was about time to update this old house. You have to know I want you and Logan here with me. The house needed lots of stuff done so I wanted to get it done before I asked you to move in. Allison was here the other day and suggested I should include you in making decisions about certain things. I told her I'd talk to you about what I was doing but I just haven't gotten around to it yet.""
Just as Jethro finished speaking Mark stepped in the front door.
"I hope I'm not interrupting."
"No, come on in. Mark, this is Holly Snow. And this is Logan. Our son. I think Holly would probably like to talk to you about what's goin' on here. Right?"
"Yes, I would if that's alright."
Jethro said to Mark, "Please show Holly your plans and give her whatever she wants. She's in charge from now on."
He looked at Holly and said, "That okay with you?"
Holly hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. "I won't do anything without clearing it with you. I can pick out colors and finishes and all that?"
"Absolutely. Let Mark show you what the two of us have planned and if you want to make changes the two of you can work it out. I'll be okay with just about anything."
Mark held out his hand in a 'go ahead' motion and followed Holly into the kitchen.
Jethro held Logan up over his head and said, "You and I might as well go outside little man. Your mom's gonna be busy in here for a while."
Jethro took Logan outside through the back door. As they passed through the kitchen, Jethro patted Holly on the back and said, "Have fun."
He said to Mark, "Anything she wants."
"Gotcha boss."
Jethro walked around his backyard with Logan for almost an hour while Holly and Mark conferred in the house. He wondered how many changes she and Mark were making to the original plan. He didn't really care. He was very happy to have Holly in the house taking part in the updates. While he walked around with Logan he pulled out his phone and punched Allison's speed dial number.
"I thought I might hear from you."
"Thank you. I owe you big time for getting Holly over here."
"So, things are okay?"
"Oh yeah. She's in the house with Mark going over all the plans and I guess making suggestions and maybe making some changes. It's all good."
"I'm so glad. She was worried about you and why you weren't spending time with them so I wanted to put her mind at ease. I didn't tell her what you were doing I just sent her over there."
"I figured. I think we're on the way to getting it all sorted out."
"Good. Keep me posted."
"Will do. Bye."
While Jethro was talking to Allison, Holly and Mark were wrapping up their tour of the house. They had agreed on several new additions to the remodeling plan and Holly was excited about was happening.
"Mark, if you need more guys let me know. I'm happy to pay for additional workers if you need them. If you're okay with it I have a painter I'd like to use. He's very reasonable and does very good work. You may know him, Mike Griggs. I also have a tile guy I really like if you don't have someone on your crew."
"I do know Mike and I agree, he's very good. My usual tile installer isn't going to be available for this job so if you have someone we can use that will be a big help. With you getting the painter and tile man, the job will go faster since my guys won't be doing those jobs. Even with the additions we've talked about, I think we'll be able to finish in about another month or even less."
"There is just one more thing. I am going to do my best to keep Jethro out of here at night except to walk around and see what you've done."
"Good. I know he's been burning the candle at both ends and really it's not necessary."
"Okay. I know you need to go so let me get him in here so we can tell him what we've done."
Holly stepped out the back door just as Jethro got off the phone with Allison. She fell just a little bit in love seeing Jethro walking around the yard with their son in his arms.
"Mark is ready to go. Come in and let's talk about things for a few minutes before he goes."
The three of them went inside where Mark had their plans laid out on a work table.
"I'll tell you Jethro, Holly has some great ideas. I'll let her give you the details but I will say everything she suggested is very doable. I have to get going. Lauren has a softball game this evening and if I miss it I'm in trouble."
"No problem. Thanks for staying and give Holly the tour and working with her. From now on unless she doesn't want to be, she's going to be in charge of this deal. We'll talk about it of course but whatever she wants is probably going to be what we do."
"You won't be sorry, Jethro. She knows what she's doing. I'll talk to you soon. Just call me, Holly if anything changes when you guys talk."
"I will. Thank you, Mark. I'm really excited to work with you."
When Mark was gone, Holly turned to Jethro with tears in her eyes and hugged him. Logan was squished between him and Holly kissed him on the head.
"Jethro, I don't know what to say. The idea you would do all this for me blows my mind. I think I know what this house means to you and for you to make so many changes for me is, well I don't know how to describe it."
"It's not just for you, Holly it's for us. For you and me and Logan to be here together and live as a family. I want us to raise Logan here where he can play in the yard, slide down the stairs and help you bake cookies in the kitchen. It's all so we can be a family."
"That's what I want too. I know I've been slow playing this relationship but I think maybe we're past that. I want to be here with you and Logan and the sooner the better as far as I'm concerned."
Jethro couldn't believe what he was hearing. He'd thought the house would be a bargaining chip but apparently it had already sealed the deal.
"So, you're not worried about me leaving sometime in the future anymore?"
Holly laughed at him. "Jethro, you will never leave this house and you darn sure won't ever be able to get me to leave. Now, let me tell you what Mark and I have been talking about."
"Okay but first let's go upstairs. I want to show Logan his room."
"It's already done?"
"Yes, I finished it a week or so ago. Still needs furniture of course but that's all at your house."
They went upstairs and Jethro opened the door to what would soon be Logan's room. It was painted in a nice cool blue with white trim and white blinds. One wall featured a water scene with a sail boat and several fish below. The floor had been refinished with two coats of natural stain and a final coat of varnish. There was a new ceiling fan and a bookcase Jethro had made for Kelly. He'd cleaned it up and repainted it to go with the new wall color.
"Oh my gosh this is wonderful. You did this all yourself?"
"Yep. The bookcase was Kelly's so I just had to clean it up and repaint it. Do you like the color okay?"
"Yes it's perfect. And did you paint the water scene as well?"
"I did. That took almost as long as all the rest put together."
"Jethro it's fabulous. Logan will love it. I love it."
"Thanks. So, what have you and Mark decided to do to our house?"
Holly took him by the hand and led him to the master bedroom. She showed him how Mark had figured out how to give them a nice walk-in closet that would have plenty of room for both hanging clothes and shelving for what didn't hang up. She said she liked what they had planned for the bathroom so there was nothing new to say about that. She took him to the third bedroom which was now just storage.
"How would you feel about moving the laundry up here?"
Jethro thought about that for a minute. "I guess that makes sense. All our clothes wind up here so yeah, that's a good idea. But what about the plumbing for that?"
"Mark said they could make it happen. I was thinking this room could be a laundry room slash office. I'd like to have a place to keep a computer and paperwork and all that sort of thing that isn't downstairs in the living space. It wouldn't have to be a lot of space so I think this room would be fine. What do you think?"
"I like the idea of the laundry up here and I like the idea of an office up here too but I think it would be cramped to do both in here. What about putting the laundry in the closet at the end of the hall? It wouldn't be a laundry room exactly but if we put a stackable in there we'd have enough room for a cabinet with a hanging bar underneath."
"Ooh, I like that idea even more. Let me see that space."
Jethro showed her the closet which was now used for luggage and blankets and assorted stuff.
"I can find a place for all this stuff. The luggage could go in the basement storage room."
"Yes, this could be perfect. Maybe we could put a daybed or a pullout in the office in case we need an extra bed."
"No pullout. A futon or daybed but no pullout."
Holly looked at him and smiled. She was sure there was a story to that very adamant statement but she'd wait to hear it later. They went downstairs, Jethro still holding Logan, and Holly showed him where Mark had said he could give them a nice sized pantry. She liked the rest of the kitchen plan Jethro and Mark had already decided on so that was good. They agreed she and Jethro would choose tile and paint colors and the flooring together in the next week or so.
"If we move the laundry upstairs this room can be a nice mud room and storage space."
"Yes, that will be nice."
"Jethro, where have you been sleeping and showering? Your bathroom is torn up and all your furniture is gone."
"The furniture is in the garage. I've been showering at the office in the morning. Been sleeping in the basement on the couch."
"Okay well that's not happening anymore. You are coming to my house and staying with us until the house is finished. So, why don't you pack some things and come along as soon as you can. I need to take this boy home and give him some supper."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure. Jethro in case you didn't catch on earlier, the three of us are going to be living together in this house when it's put back together. We might as well get started now don't you think?"
All Jethro could do was smile at her and kiss her. He was afraid to speak because he was overcome with emotion. As much as he wanted what Holly had just described the small voice in his head had not allowed him to truly believe it would happen. He believed it now and it was almost too much to wrap his head around.
Holly took Logan from him and kissed him. "Go on and get your things together and come have supper with us. No more sleeping in the basement and showering at the gym for you mister. I'll see you at home."
With that she left him standing in the kitchen still unable to speak.
Jethro finally pulled himself together, packed some clothes and left the house locking the door behind him. Driving to Holly's he was still in a bit of shock at how quickly his life had changed. Again. He had been prepared to wait as long as necessary to have Holly and Logan living with him. Now it seemed that was going to happen in the next couple of months. Admittedly he had just the tiniest bit of apprehension about how quickly his future had turned on its head. Just a month ago he was content with his life; happy with his relationship with Ali, and satisfied with living alone in his comfortable old house. Now, he was changing not only the house but just about everything about his life except his job. He was about to be living not only with a woman he honestly didn't know that well but also with a baby. He was committing to raising a child for the next eighteen years at a minimum. The only part of that he had no doubts about was loving Logan.
By the time he got to Holly's townhouse Jethro had almost convinced himself he had lost his mind. But, when he walked in the house and saw his son playing on the floor he knew he was doing the right thing. Whatever it took, Jethro was willing to do it in order to have Logan in his life. He could hear Ducky in his head though reminding him not to try and build a relationship with Holly only because of Logan. He knew Logan couldn't be the only reason he and Holly were together. Was that what was happening? Was he fooling himself about his ability to hold onto a woman for a lifetime? He heard Ducky telling him he would have to not only get Holly to love him, he would have to allow himself to love her. Could he do that? Jethro finally pulled himself together and went to Holly in the kitchen.
Holly looked at him and thought he looked somewhat shell-shocked. "Are you okay? Things moved pretty fast today and maybe we need to talk about it tonight."
"Yeah, I think I have some stuff to say. Can I do anything to help you in here?"
"Why don't you get Logan and see if he'll eat something for you? We can eat in about 20 minutes."
When supper was over and Logan was sound asleep, his parents finally sat down together in the living room. There had been very little conversation all evening as Holly and Jethro each tried to sort out their feelings about the developments of the afternoon. Jethro was nursing a cup of coffee and Holly had a glass of wine. Knowing how reluctant Jethro could be about conversations, Holly finally began.
"We moved pretty fast today didn't we? I wonder if it was too much, too soon for your comfort level."
"I'm not sure. It's what I wanted but now I'm not sure it's the right move."
"You're not sure you want Logan and I living with you?"
"No, I do want you there. I'm just not sure it's the best idea for you. You know I'm the common denominator in three failed marriages and several other relationships that not so much failed as simply dissolved on their own."
"I know all that Jethro. I think the difference for us is we have a child together and we're both committed to giving our child a stable, loving home. Right?"
"Yes and that's part of the problem. Should we be together only because of Logan? Should we expect that little baby upstairs to keep us together? I worry that is too much to ask him to do."
Jethro got up and was pacing around the small living space. Holly had a knot developing in her stomach hearing what Jethro was saying. It sounded a lot like he was saying he didn't think they should be together.
"Jethro, you're scaring me. I'm hearing you say you don't think we should be together. I'm sorry but I won't accept that. What about the family you so desperately want? Are you ready to give up on that?"
"I don't know. No, I don't want to give up the idea of a family."
"It's not just an idea Jethro, it's a reality whether you're ready for it or not. At this point it's not traditional family but the three of us are connected no matter how you look at it. Tell me exactly why you're suddenly having an issue with us being together."
Jethro sat down and took several deep breaths. He remembered Ducky and Ali both telling him to absolutely honest with Holly. He had to make her understand his misgivings so hopefully she could convince him he was worrying needlessly.
"Okay, after you told me about Logan I went to see Ducky and tell him the news. Among other things he told me, he pointed out I shouldn't get into a relationship with you just because of Logan. Today I started wondering if that was what we were doing. I mean you and I were never in a romantic situation and honestly we barely know each other. Should we be living together simply because we have a child together?"
"I understand what Ducky means and I agree with him to a point. Here's what I think. I like you Jethro. In fact, I like you a lot and I have for a long time. You intrigued me from the beginning and pretty quickly I realized I enjoyed being with you. I trust you. I value your honesty and of course I love seeing you with Logan. It makes me beyond happy to see how much you love him. You are one of the best men I have ever known. Are you prepared for me to fall in love with you?
"Yes. I want that. Ducky said I had to be able to let myself love you. I guess I'm afraid I won't do that. I want to. I like you too and I always feel good when we're together. You're a wonderful mom. I trust you and I would be very lucky to have you fall in love with me. I guess I worry that I don't know how to love you and eventually you will need more from me than I can give."
Holly was stunned by Jethro's honesty about his feelings. She was also very sad to hear him say he didn't think he knew how to love her. She had to admit that was a scary thought. She did want to make a family with Jethro but she certainly didn't want to live in a loveless marriage or even relationship simply because they shared a child.
Now it was Holly's turn to get up and walk around. She went to the kitchen and refreshed her wine. She walked back to the living room and looked out the window. Her excitement at seeing the house being up-dated had faded in the last several minutes and she felt discouragement setting in. Holly was not a woman who backed down from a fight. In the moments she stood looking out at the summer evening she determined she would fight for what she wanted with Jethro. She would do everything in her power to show him how to love again. She turned around to face Jethro and got started.
"You have never loved anyone like you did Shannon have you?"
"No."
"I understand that and I don't expect to be a replacement for her. But Jethro, that was a lifetime ago, literally. You are a different person now and God knows I'm not Shannon. We each have long histories and some of it is not pretty. I want you to promise me you will give yourself a chance to love me. How long that will take I don't know but I'm willing to wait. Are you willing to try?"
Jethro was so relieved by her response he could barely breath.
"Yes. I want to love you Holly. I don't want to lose you."
"You loved Kelly with all your heart didn't you?"
"Of course."
"And you loved Logan the moment you saw him didn't you?"
"Yes. Just as much as I loved Kelly. I see what you did there."
"You have a great capacity for love Jethro. I think you're reluctant because you're afraid to risk loving me and then losing me. And of course, if that happened you would lose Logan; at least partially. My guess is you haven't had anyone love you unconditionally since Shannon died. No one has stuck with you. I promise I will. I can think of only two reasons I would ever leave you; if you were abusive or cheating. I don't believe I need to worry about either of those things happening. Maybe Logan will be the glue that holds us together for a while but he won't have that job for long. I have every confidence that you and I will find our way together."
"You're right you will never have to worry about those two scenarios I can promise you that right now. But, how can you be so sure?"
"I don't give up easily when I want something. As soon as I knew I was pregnant I began thinking about a life with you. So, you see, I've had over a year to picture a life with you. I like what that picture looks like. Believe me, I tried over the months to talk myself out of loving you but I have not been successful. I guess what I'm trying to say, Jethro is that I'm pretty certain I already love you. Even though we've spent very little time together you have to admit the time we did spend together was pretty intense. I learned a lot about you in those two brief periods. I learned about your intensity, your dedication and your loyalty. I learned about your bravery and your intelligence and so many other things. Finally, that one and only night we had together I learned you are a very good kisser and well, as a lover you certainly didn't disappoint."
Jethro didn't know what to say. The idea that Holly loved him took him by surprise even though it was what he had been hoping for since he learned they had a child together. Since he couldn't come up with anything to say, he got up and went to Holly and took her in his arms. He hugged her and she wrapped her arms around him and held on for dear life. After a few moments Jethro loosened his hold on her and leaned down to kiss her. When he finally let her catch her breath he kissed her on her forehead and then went back for more. Holly welcomed him back and the kiss went on until they both had to have air.
Jethro finally took a small step back and looked Holly in the eye as he asked, "You love me?"
"I'm pretty sure I do, yes. I have to admit though that I've never really been in love before so I'm not totally sure."
She was sort of laughing at him so Jethro didn't worry too much about that answer.
"Hmm, well what are your symptoms? Maybe I can help you figure out if it's real. I do have extensive experience with women falling in love with me."
That remark earned him a quick punch to the chest. "Is that right? Well let me see, I think you're very handsome, I love your eyes, I think you're sexy and funny and a very good kisser. I always feel safe with you. I trust you. I feel some kind of little spark or something inside when you come in the room. I like looking at you. Is that enough?"
"Well, it's certainly a good start."
"Oh, wait one more thing. I've had no interest whatsoever in any other man ever since I met you. No one else interests me Jethro. You're the one for me. No doubt about it."
"Ah, in that case I'd say it's a done deal. You're definitely in love. With me, thank God."
"I thought as much. So now all we have to do is figure out how to get you to fall in love with me."
"Any suggestions?"
"Come sit down with me."
Jethro sat down on the couch and Holly sat on the coffee table in front of him. She took his hands in hers then kissed him softly on the mouth.
"Close your eyes and take some deep breaths."
"You tryin' to hypnotize me?"
"No, I just want you to relax and clear your mind. Ready?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Can you tell me what you want or need in a woman that you could love?"
They sat that way in silence for a few moments and then Jethro smiled and with his eyes still closed he pulled her hands up and kissed them.
"Okay here goes. She will have to be patient, and smart, kind and a good mom. She should like boats, like to be outdoors and be willing to let me have my space sometimes. If she can cook that would be nice. She should be independent and capable of standing up to me when she needs to. She will need to have a good sense of humor and be comfortable with silence; not have to ask a lot of questions all the time. Sex is important so I would want her to enjoy sex. With me and never with anyone else. If she's beautiful and sweet and funny that would be great. Finally, I would really want her to love me for the person I am; not want to change me."
"Wow. Okay now open your eyes and tell me if you see any of what you want in front of you."
Jethro waited a few seconds then he opened his eyes and smiled at her. He studied her face and sat back gazing at her for a long time.
"Hmm, you know I think maybe I do. But, I have a couple of questions."
"Fire away."
"Do you like boats? Sailing?"
"Yes, I'm sure I would if you were with me."
"Okay. Is there something about me you think needs changing?"
Holly smiled at him and studied him thoroughly. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.
"I think I'd like this to be a little bit longer on the sides but otherwise I'd say you're just about perfect."
Jethro laughed, grabbed her around the waist and pulled her onto his lap. He kissed her thoroughly and for a long time. Holly settled on him and eagerly participated in a lot of kissing and touching until they both had to slow down and breathe.
They were quiet for a long time simply holding onto each other and letting what all had been said settle in their minds and hearts. Holly was right where she wanted to be; in the arms of the man she was very sure she was in love with. Jethro was beginning to allow himself to believe he could love Holly and have the life and family he had been craving for so many years. He was trying to think of any reason why it wouldn't work and he couldn't come up with anything. He believed Holly when she said she wouldn't leave him and he knew he would never give her any reason to change her mind. Over the last few years Jethro had come to understand a lot about himself and why his marriages had failed. He had already been more honest with Holly than he had ever been with three wives. He knew he was capable of loving Holly and now he wanted to give himself permission to do just that. He wanted to love her and live his life with her and their son and nothing; not even his past, was going to stop him from doing so.
Having made up his mind to finally get on with his life with this beautiful woman on his lap he kissed her quickly and said with a laugh, "Now what?"
Holly laughed with him and said, "Well, your son will be up early in the morning so I suggest we might want to call it a night."
"My son?"
"Yes. Here's something you can learn about me right now; I'm really not much of a morning person. Since Logan wakes up pretty early I figure he's all yours in the mornings."
"I can live with that. In fact. I like it."
Holly moved off his lap and sat beside him.
"We certainly covered a lot of serious ground tonight didn't we?"
"We did and I have one more thing to say about all that. I love you."
Holly couldn't help the tears that filled her eyes. Of course, that is what she had wanted to hear from Jethro but she didn't expect to hear it so soon.
"You don't have to say that now, Jethro. I'm not trying to rush things."
"I know. You're not rushing me; you just helped me see what's been right in front of me for the last month. You are everything I told you I wanted and needed in a woman I could love. We're just beginning to know each other but I know enough to be sure I want to build a life with you and our son. I don't want anyone else. I want to be with you and let the love I feel for you grow into a love you can trust and depend on."
"Jethro, that is the most beautiful thing you could have said. Thank you. I love you."
When they went upstairs that night Jethro stopped at the top of the stairs and asked, "Where do you want me to sleep?"
Holly had been thinking about this moment ever since she insisted Jethro not sleep in his basement any longer.
"I don't think I'll sleep much knowing you're down the hall but if you'd be more comfortable there for now the bed in that room is quite comfortable. Not a pullout I assure you."
Of course, Jethro had also been thinking about this question. He knew where he wanted to be and it wasn't in the guest room. He didn't want to rush Holly into anything but it didn't sound to him like she wanted him in the guest room either.
"I'd like to sleep with you if you're okay with that. We don't have to…you know but I'd much rather sleep with you than down the hall by myself."
Holly had to laugh at his discomfort in saying they didn't have to have sex. But, she had to acknowledge that they certainly hadn't worked up to that point in a relationship in the typical manner.
"I'd like you to sleep with me. We can decide on the….you know…as we go along."
Jethro knew she was making fun of him but he didn't care. He was just happy he wouldn't be sleeping alone.
"Okay by me. Lead on."
TBC