Title: Closer
Holiday: Christmas
Nice List
Summary: I know it breaks your heart / Moved to the city in a broke-down car, and / Four years, no call / Now I'm looking pretty in a hotel bar; Inspired by Closer by The Chainsmokers
Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable characters herein. No copyright infringement is intended.
My neck hurt, my back hurt, my feet hurt. I was supposed to be back in Boston by now, but thanks to a freak snowstorm in the Northeast, I was stuck at the bar of the Dallas Hilton while my classmate James droned beside me with the sounds of Bing Crosby drifting in the background.
"I think I really impressed those folks from Damon," he boasted. As the lead Ph.D candidates in charge of the Damon Pharmaceuticals Avian Flu research, we had been invited to their annual holiday party. I had wanted to pass, but there was no way I would sabotage my career by doing such a thing.
"Mmm," I replied with a non-committal hum, sipping my Mistle-tini.
"I wouldn't be surprised if they made me an offer after graduation. Shame I'll have to turn them down. Father's always wanted me to join the family company."
"Shame, indeed," I muttered.
"You know, Bella…" he started, swirling his drink and shooting me what I'm sure he thought was a seductive look. "I'm really glad you came with me. We make a good duo. I'm sure Daddy would have a place for you with Witherdale Pharma."
"I didn't come with you," I corrected. "We were both invited. Separately." And there was no way I'd be accepting a job from him or the men who raised him.
"Either way, we make a great team." He leaned in close, his overpriced Paco Rabanne burning my nostrils. "Maybe we can go somewhere quiet and discuss the future of the lab a bit more?"
"I'm fine where I am," I replied shortly. You'd think he forgot he had a girlfriend who also happened to be one of my roommates. Then again, I was ninety percent sure Victoria had her Biochem lab mate, Riley, over while we were gone. I had no idea how a couple who claimed to love each other could so easily sleep around like James and Victoria. Then again, what did I know about relationships? I couldn't find anyone who measured up to my undergrad boyfriend. I had really thought he was endgame back then…
"Are you sure?" James frowned. "That group in the corner's getting pretty rowdy."
"Positive," I snapped with an eye roll. Although, he had a point. Maybe I would call it a night after I finished my drink, at least once James was gone. I glanced over to the trio in ugly Christmas sweaters, where a large man with curly hair and dimples was laughing loudly. But it wasn't Chuckles who got my attention as soon as my eyes landed on them. It was the tall, slender man with bronze hair standing under the twinkling white lights wearing a red 'Festivus for the rest of us' sweater. It may have been five years since I last saw it, but I'd know that bronze hair anywhere. I could still feel the surprisingly silky locks running through my fingers like it was yesterday.
The rain poured down on the windows, but we didn't care. We were comfortably situated on the double bed in his studio apartment, listening to Blink 182 - my Evolutionary Medicine textbook and his sketchpad and pencils forgotten on the desk, him with his head in my lap and eyes closed.
"You're wasting your time," he murmured as I smoothed down the wild tresses on his head. "My hair has a mind of its own. It's always going to be a mess."
"Yeah, but it's my mess," I assured him, leaning down to kiss him softly.
The last time I laid eyes on Edward Cullen was at Husky Stadium as he crossed the stage with the other Bachelor of Arts students. I was proud as I watched him receive his diploma, but sad that our future together was gone. While I was headed to Massachusetts, Edward had been headed to Europe. Four years of studying interdisciplinary art hadn't helped him find his niche, but he hoped the galleries and history of France, Italy, and more would inspire his creativity.
He must have felt my eyes on him. Before I could turn away, his eyes were on mine, wide in shock, before his face transformed into a cautious smile. He said something to the two other guys before starting to head in my direction. Shit! I was not prepared for this! I could feel my heart pounding in my chest faster and faster with each step he took.
"Bella?" He asked once he was in earshot, the nervous smile still gracing his beautiful face. "I can't believe it's you!"
"Edward!" I replied, trying to hold my composure. "I thought that was you."
"Who would have thought?" he chuckled. "Of all the hotels, we happen to be at the same one."
"In Dallas, no less," I added. "What are you doing here?"
"You remember my cousin Jasper?" I nodded in response, and he gestured to the two men he left behind. Taking a second look, I recognized the blond that I had only met a handful of times. "He's getting married this weekend."
"Really? Please tell me it's not Maria," I murmured in a low voice. During senior year, Edward had invited me to join his family at their cabin in Boulder, and Maria had been obnoxious the entire time, complaining about the weather, the family activities, and pretty much anything that came to mind.
Edward let out a laugh. "No, thank God! They broke up a couple of years ago, and he met Alice. She's perfect for him. She's the one who wanted an ugly sweater rehearsal dinner." For a split second, there was a wistful look on his face that I couldn't figure out, but it was gone quicker than it arrived. "How about you? What brings you to Texas?"
"We're here for a work party," James interjected territorially, leaning across me with his hand outstretched. "James Witherdale, the third, please to meet you."
"Edward Cullen the first," Edward replied sarcastically, accepting the handshake.
"Weren't you named after your grandfather?" I challenged.
"Okay, the second," he replied with a crooked smirk. Damn, I loved that crooked smile. Once upon a time, it was my smile. "So, work party, you say?"
"With Damon Pharmaceutical," I explained.
"We work together at MIT," James added smugly.
"I bet that's tons of fun," Edward quipped before turning back to me. "Sounds like you're doing well."
"Yeah, Cambridge has been kind to me," I answered with a smile.
"In fact, we need to check on our flights in the morning," James sighed dramatically, placing a greasy hand on my shoulder. "Bella, we should get upstairs and get to bed."
If my eyes rolled audibly, every room in this hotel would have heard me. "You go ahead. I'm gonna finish my drink." I held up my almost full glass, hoping he got the hint.
"Okay, fine, I guess," James muttered as he stood up from his stool. "See you later, Bella."
"See you in the morning," I said, relieved.
"Nice to meet you, Jack," Edward grinned. "Have a good night."
"It's James," he replied under his breath as he stalked off back towards the hotel lobby.
Edward quickly slid into James's now-vacated spot and let out an exaggerated sigh. "I don't think your boyfriend likes me."
"Who, James?" I grimaced. "God, no! He's just a colleague I got saddled with for the trip."
"Well, I have a feeling he wishes it was more," he winked.
I let out a shudder. "Not gonna happen. Even if I didn't think he was arrogant and annoying, he's currently dating one of my roommates."
"Trying to hook up with you while he has a girlfriend? Sounds like a catch," Edward laughed, shaking his head. "So, other than dealing with creeps in the lab, what have you been up to?"
"Mostly school," I shrugged. "Between classes and the lab, most of my time's taken up. What about you? How's Europe?"
He took a sip of his drink and let out a sigh. "Europe was great, but it got old. I moved back about a year and a half ago."
"Really?" I asked, surprised. I figured that Edward would have settled down in Europe if he settled down at all. "Back to Seattle?"
He shook his head. "Brooklyn. And I know it's such a stereotype, but there's a reason it's a stereotype," he added, holding up his hand.
"Hey, I'm an academic who ended up in Cambridge! Who am I to judge?" I laughed. "So, what are you doing in Brooklyn? Painting? Sculpture? Photography?"
"Body art. I actually opened my own studio," he grinned and pointed to the group he had been with previously. "You see the big guy? That's my business partner, Emmett."
"Look at you, Mister Businessman," I laughed, absentmindedly rubbing the back of my neck. "It's not surprising. You designed enough tattoos back at U-Dub. May as well do the tattooing yourself."
…
"Thanks, E!" My fellow RA, Tyler, grinned as he took the sheet of sketchpad paper from Edward. "This is exactly what I was thinking."
"No problem, man," Edward smiled as he closed his notebook before we left the dining hall. When Tyler had asked him to design a crow tattoo for his forearm, he jumped at the chance. Edward loved any chance to create a piece that would mean something.
"Another happy customer," I winked once we were down the hall and out of earshot.
Edward laughed and threw an arm around my shoulders. "Just what it's like being me. Have you ever thought about getting one of my pieces?"
"You know how squeamish I am around needles," I deadpanned. My seasonal birth control shot was about all I could handle. "But if I ever got a tattoo, I'd want one designed by you."
"Really?" He smiled brightly. "I actually came up with an idea for something you might like. If you ever change your mind."
"Well, maybe you should show me, and I'll let you know."
…
"It was a natural progression," Edward shrugged. "I met this amazing woman in Poland who introduced me to it. I ended up training under Tanya for a year and a half before coming back to the States."
"Oh, really?" I asked, taking a drink to squash my jealousy. "She sounds great."
"She's a fantastic artist and mentor," he agreed. "She and her partner Irina treated me like family while I was there."
"Her partner?" I gulped. "Like her business partner?"
He shook his head with a smirk. "Life partner. Tanya's extremely talented and a proud Gold Star lesbian. Irina's a nurse. Anyway, after training under her and moving back here, I got my American licensing and started working at another shop. Emmett and I decided to branch out on our own and opened up Spectre this past summer."
"That's amazing," I smiled, feeling my voice rising above the volume of the crowd. "Is it just me, or is it getting loud in here?"
Edward looked back and groaned. "Jay's frat brothers are here. They're incapable of staying quiet."
"Great," I murmured. The last thing I wanted was to hang around a loud fraternity reunion, but I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Edward again. Maybe it was the old feelings, maybe the holiday spirit, or maybe it was the Mistle-tini. Either way, the next words popped out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I have a room to myself. Want to keep this going somewhere quieter?"
His smile shined brighter than the Christmas lights hanging from above. "I'd love to." He hopped off his stool and offered out his hand to help me down, and I smiled shyly as I accepted and carefully stepped down. There was a familiar tingle up my spine as he placed a hand on the small of my back, directing me toward the bank of elevators.
"I should have said something earlier," Edward piped up. "You look beautiful tonight."
I felt my face flush with his sweet words. "Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself. Brooklyn clearly agrees with you."
"Yeah, I'm trying to avoid the whole Williamsburg hipster look," he laughed. "It's a bit overplayed."
"Ironic," I giggled. "If anyone could make it work, it's you."
"I don't know if that's a good thing or not," he laughed while I scanned my card to enter the room. Once we were inside, he fingered the collar of his festive sweater. "You mind if I lose this?" He asked. "Alice insisted on an Ugly Sweater rehearsal dinner."
"Be my guest," I offered, trying not to stare at the black T-shirt sculpted to his toned torso underneath or the swirls of black ink gracing his arms. "So, how long are you in Dallas?" I asked, pulling off my heels and wiggling my toes on the cold marble for relief. There was a beat of silence, and I turned to see Edward with a small, crooked smile on his face. "What?"
"I forgot how tiny you are," he grinned.
"I'm not that short," I grumbled.
"Please, you always fit perfectly under my chin," he refuted with a wink. "But, to answer your question, I'm here until Sunday evening. I'm glad I took a red-eye last night, or that storm would have kept me back East."
"You're telling me," I sighed, rolling my eyes and pulling off my blazer. "I was supposed to be on a flight to Boston this afternoon."
"What are the odds?" Edward murmured, but his eyes were zeroed in on my now-bare shoulder blade, exposed by the halter top I wore under my jacket. I didn't even need to check to know exactly what caught his eye.
…
"Come on, show me!" I laughed, grabbing at his notebook. "You're supposed to be helping me relax after that final, not doodling!"
He angled away from me with a smirk. "Hold on, I'm almost done."
I huffed and crossed my arms. "You've been saying that for twenty minutes. What's the big surprise?"
"Okay, okay," he brushed off, closing the notebook and looking at me with an excited smile. "Remember when I gave Tyler the design I drew for him?" I nodded, wondering where he was going. "Well, I told you I had an idea for you. That's what I've been working on."
"Edward," I sighed out. "I told you, I don't even know if I could get a tattoo. Needles and all."
"I know, but I couldn't get it out of my mind," he insisted, flipping open the sketchbook. "Even if you never got it, I needed to get it down on paper. What do you think?" He handed over the notebook, his joy and nerves evident on his face as he opened himself up to my scrutiny.
He had nothing to worry about; I gasped as I took in the illustration. "Edward…" I breathed out, running my fingers over the fine lines. "It's beautiful." On the paper was a delicate drawing of a DNA structure made out of leafy vines topped with freesia. He managed to take something as sterile as a double helix and made it feminine with the floral elements.
"Just like you," he smiled. "My beautiful, delicate, feminine scientist."
"I love it." I smiled at him before pulling his face in for a deep kiss. "I love you."
"I love you too, Bella," he smiled back before kissing me once more. "And I know you may never get a tattoo, but…"
"If I did, it would be this."
…
"You got it," he said almost reverently. "When did you… how did you… I can't believe you got it."
"It was about a month after I moved to Boston," I replied, a shiver going up my spine as his fingers traced the lines on my skin.
"It's even better than I imagined," he stated, looking deeply into my eyes. "Beautiful."
"You did an amazing job."
He shook his head. "You bring out the true beauty in it." Breaking eye contact, he sighed and made his way to the opposite side of the room, taking a seat in the desk chair. "I just wish I could have been the one to do it."
"Well, that wasn't really an option, was it?" I asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice. "You knew where I was. Until tonight, I thought you were still bouncing around Europe."
"And what was I supposed to do?" He scoffed. "Just sit outside the MIT labs until I saw you? Just to tell you I'm a tattoo artist now? I'm sure that would have been well received. After everything that happened, I figured you would want to forget about me. About us."
I rolled my eyes and settled into the armchair in the corner of the room. "I couldn't forget even if I wanted to. Trust me, I spent that first semester trying." I leaned back in the chair, wrapping my arms around myself. "That tattoo was the only way I had to hold on to you. It was a tangible reminder of everything we shared. Of everything real we had, even if it fell apart."
…
"So, that's it?" My voice trembled, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. "You're just leaving? No plan, no idea when you'll get back?"
Edward pulled on his disheveled copper locks, his eyes trained on Drumheller Fountain in front of us. "I need this, Bella. You know I've wanted to travel. This is the time to do it."
I stood up quickly, moving directly in front of him with my arms crossed. "And what about us? Am I supposed to put my life on hold and follow you like a lost puppy around Europe? Or am I supposed to wallow in Boston, waiting for you to return?"
"I don't want you putting your life on hold, and I'm not asking you to wallow!" He groaned, exasperated. "You've got your future mapped out. MIT, Ph D. Doctor Isabella Swan. I just… I don't fit into that picture."
I shook my head. "That's not true," I insisted. "You've always been a part of my picture. I wanted us to figure it out together, but you're not even willing to try."
"Bella, be reasonable," he muttered. "You're going to meet so many guys at your level. I can't compete with that."
"You don't need to compete with any of them," I sighed. "You'll win every time."
"You say that until you meet some older guy in the lab who fits perfectly in with you."
Why was he talking about other guys? My eyes narrowed on him. "Is this just so you can sleep with as much Eurotrash as you want without feeling guilty?"
"I'm not looking to sleep with anyone!" He yelled, glaring back at me. "You have a fully planned out future; I have no idea what I want! You deserve someone who can give you the same stability you give them. Someone who's not holding you back. I can't be that person."
"You don't get to decide what's best for me."
"I'm sorry, Bella," he sighed, standing. "I love you, but this is the only way I know how to do this."
He placed a kiss on my head before turning and walking away.
"If you walk away now, don't expect me to be here when you get back," I yelled forcefully, my voice shaking.
Edward hesitated for a minute, turning back to look at me. Despite the indecision written all over his face, he simply nodded before walking out of my life.
…
Edward sighed, his brow furrowed in regret. "I thought giving you space was the right thing to do. That letting you go would hurt less than drifting while we lived separate lives."
I barked out a humorless, bitter laugh. "Well, it didn't. You left. We could have figured out a way to make it work, but you left."
"I had no idea how to make it work," he groaned, leaning back in the chair and tugging at his hair. "Bella, I was scared. I didn't want to hold you back, and I didn't want us to end up resenting each other."
"Resenting each other?" I repeated. "You were my best friend, the most important person in my life. The only thing I resented was you dropping me as if our time meant nothing to you. But I could never resent you for following your dreams, or letting me follow mine."
"I thought I was doing the right thing." His eyes met mine, a small, sad smile gracing his beautiful face. "I thought you would find someone better than me. Someone who could be there for you in ways I couldn't be."
I leaned forward and grabbed his hands. "I didn't want someone else. I wanted you. You were always more than enough."
Edward sighed and lifted my hands to his mouth, dropping a soft kiss on my knuckles. "I never stopped wanting you either. By the time I realized how wrong I was and pulled my head out of my ass, I figured it was too late."
I licked my lips, staring deeply into his emerald eyes. "Maybe it isn't."
His eyes darted between my lips and my eyes before he spoke up again. "Bella," he said only slightly above a whisper. "There's something I wanted to do since I saw you sitting at that hotel bar. Can I…"
I nodded at his unfinished question. "Yes, please." In the blink of an eye, his lips were on mine. Softly at first, but the years of separation and unresolved feelings quickly rushed forward. In an instant, I was in his lap as the kiss deepened, our tongues dancing. I melted into him, my hands grabbing the familiar soft locks as he explored the expanse of my back. Everything about this was so familiar, yet so explosive.
Edward pulled back slightly, panting and resting his forehead on mine. "God, I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too," I said between breaths, my heart racing.
"If you don't want this, tell me to stop." He pulled me in closer, his hands stroking my skin just under the hem of my shirt, his eyes searching mine for assurance.
"Don't stop," I breathed out, my hands reaching for the hem of his shirt. Getting the hint, he lifted his arms, giving me free rein to pull the black fabric off his body, revealing the lean muscles I remembered from our college days, only now adorned with swaths of black ink. While most of the designs were located on his arms, there was one on his left pectoral right by his heart - a graceful black swan with its wings outstretched behind, as if about to take flight.
"You're not the only one who wanted a permanent reminder," he stated, answering my unasked question. "I wanted to carry a piece of you with me, too."
"Right above your heart," I added, gently stroking the wings.
"Where you belong." Before any more words could be said, his mouth was back on mine. While one hand stayed firmly placed in his hair, the other explored the expanse of his chest as he held my head and toyed with the tie on the back of my neck.
"I need to get this off of you," he murmured into my mouth.
"Just pull," I said quickly, not wanting to break the kiss.
"We need to get more comfortable first," he stated, standing us up before untying the back of my halter neck and divesting me of my top, exposing my now-chilled breasts to the cool hotel air. "No bra?"
"Didn't work with the shirt," I explained, pulling him into me so our bare chests were fused together before falling onto the bed with him. It had been too many years since we'd been like this, I thought, a mixture of anticipation and nerves mixed with excitement racing through my veins. Five years since I felt my sensitive, smooth skin rub against his coarse chest hairs. Before I could react, he took my nipple in his mouth, sucking, nibbling, and licking, making me mewl like I was in heat.
My brain stopped working as every part of me begged him not to stop, but he did after a few moments, grinning down at me with that damn crooked smile. He sat up, taking me with him. "You okay there, Bell?" he asked coyly while trailing kisses down my throat and collarbone.
"Better than okay," I gasped out, grinding my hips against his hardness above me, trying to shift the tension somewhere else.
That mischievous smile turned to full-on laughter when he grabbed hold of my wrists and raised them over my head. "Still impatient, aren't you?"
"I think I've been patient enough," I moaned, wrapping my legs around his waist to pull him back down.
After what seemed like an eternity spent kissing and groping each other, his mouth thoroughly exploring each of my breasts, he finally reached for my zipper and undid my pants. "I need to get these off you." He worked his way down my body, dragging the offending item of clothing with him, leaving me in nothing but a tiny lace thong. "Is this all for me?" He murmured, climbing back on top of me.
I threw my head back and let out a low guttural noise when I felt his tongue run across my panties. "You have no idea," I replied truthfully, tightening my thighs around his face. His growl rang loud and clear in the otherwise quiet room before he moved down even further and got rid of those next.
He stood back, taking in the sight in front of him. "Beautiful."
"You're wearing far too many clothes," I pouted, sitting up and grabbing the buckle of his belt.
"By all means," he chuckled as I worked off his belt, jeans, and boxer briefs, tossing them on to the chair I had previously occupied. He pulled off his socks before joining me back on the bed, hovering above me.
The energy crackling between us was palpable as I tried to remain still underneath him, letting him explore my body with his touch once again. Our eyes were locked on each other's as he ran his fingers over my stomach, up to my breasts, then down, landing softly on my mound. He dipped two fingers inside, massaging the wetness they encountered before slipping them out to trace my clit in little circles. "Still so warm," he muttered as he moved two fingers inside of me, his thumb continuing its ministrations on my clit. "And still so tight." My whole body trembled at his touch, knowing exactly what I wanted next.
"Don't stop," I gasped, moving my hips with his rhythm, feeling my orgasm building. Without warning, he slipped a third finger inside me and hit just the right spot, sending my body over the edge. "Oh, fuck!" I yelled as wave after wave of pleasure wracked my body. I collapsed back on the bed, panting as Edward kept moving, rubbing circles around my clit and watching my body twitch from aftershocks. Slowly coming down from my high, I looked up at Edward to see him watching me intently. "Damn," I whispered in response.
"There's more where that came from, Love. I need to get my taste," he agreed, getting on his knees before running his tongue along my pussy.
I bucked involuntarily at the contact, unable to stop myself. Slowly he circled my clit, occasionally dipping his tongue inside of me to get a better taste. "I've missed this," he said in a whisper of confession. Every swipe and flick of his tongue made me writhe underneath him, aching for more. At last, he took my clit into his mouth, switching between sucking and nibbling gently, making me whimper with a mixture of pain and pleasure. His hands grabbed onto my hips, holding me in place as he continued to pleasure me with his mouth, driving me wild. I could feel another orgasm rising within me, and I knew I couldn't wait anymore-
"Please!" I begged, looking up at him pleadingly.
"What do you need? What do you want?" he teased. As if there was ever any doubt...
"Fuck me, please!" I screamed, coming for the second time.
He pulled his mouth off of me and looked up. "Condom? I don't have-"
"I'm clean!" I gasped. "And I'm still on the shot."
"I'm clean, too," he replied, climbing up me. "Are you sure?"
"I trust you," I assured him.
I watched as he moved up my body and slid himself easily inside me. He filled me completely as I wrapped my legs around his waist, hooking my heels on the small of his back. "Feel good?"
"So good," I cooed as I felt him move inside me.
"Fuck!" he groaned as he started thrusting, slowly at first but picking up speed until we were both moaning loudly and sweaty from exertion.
"I can't last much longer," he warned, pounding into me harder and faster.
"Me either."
"Come, Bella," he ordered, slamming into me. "I need you to come again."
With a final push, he buried himself deep inside me and held himself there as I clamped down hard around him, crying out in bliss. "Oh god," I cried, biting down on my lip, feeling the rush start deep in my core. We both exploded, collapsing onto the bed in a heap of sweat and exhaustion.
He chuckled, resting his chin on the top of my head. "Better than you remember?" he offered, and I nodded in agreement, snuggling closer to him, inhaling his familiar scent. This moment right here... felt right, like it belonged. "Should I…" he began asking, but I shook my head, stopping him quickly.
"No, stay," I insisted, snuggling into him. If we only had tonight, I was going to make it last as long as possible.
I wasn't sure when we fell asleep, but it felt like I'd only just closed my eyes when I was awoken by a text on my cell phone. Just yesterday, this was the message I was hoping for. But now, my heart dropped as I saw the automated message from United.
"What time is it?" Edward groaned, his eyes full of sleep.
"Just past seven," I sighed. "United got me on a new flight in a little under four hours."
"I'm supposed to meet the groomsmen for breakfast in an hour," he added sadly. "I should probably head back to my room and get dressed."
"I guess so," I murmured. "I need to finish packing."
"Let me see that," he asked, gesturing for my phone. I handed it to him, and he quickly typed something in. "There, I have your number, and you have mine. Let's not wait another five years to see each other."
"Agreed," I smiled, but I knew it didn't quite reach my eyes.
We silently cleaned up the room, Edward helping me throw my clothes from the night before into my suitcase before we both got dressed. Once there was nothing left to do, we stood there, taking each other in silently before he piped up.
"Are you planning on seeing your family over the holidays?"
I shook my head. "Not this year. Dad's heading on a holiday ice fishing trip, and Mom's taking a ten-day cruise with Phil. Why?"
He gave me a shy grin. "You know what they say. There's nothing like New York at Christmas."