Howdy! Just wanted to post another chapter since that hurricane might wipe out my power lol. My views kind of slowed down too and I want to get those back up, and hopefully get more of a response! Please leave me a review, follow the story, and come back for more! I'm hoping to edit all of the chapters I have written thus far by the end of this week (were almost there) and then take another slight hiatus to write another couple. I'm kinda at a point in the story where now it's feeling a bit slow and theres a definite gap between the calm and the chaos I want to cause :) just gotta find a way to bridge it!
Anyways, thanks for reading : )
The sun sits high overhead as Katniss and I make our way back to my house after a run around the District. We looped around the perimeter, through the Meadow, and even passed through Victors Village at one point. We stayed clear of the fence, that old gateway she used to escape from reality, as much as we could. She mentioned wanting to get stronger, more fit again. Back then, the woods had been her playground, her escape, but now... too many memories linger there. I offered to help, mostly with the heavier lifting and maybe to learn a snare or two. She just laughed, said I didn't walk—I stomped. Hunting with me would be impossible. I called her an ableist. She called me an asshole.
As we walked, our hands brushed a few times, each touch sending a jolt through me. Lately, we've still shared the occasional kiss, held each other at night, but there's this tension between us now—thick and hard to cut, even with the sharpest blade. And out here, in public, it's different. Katniss doesn't 'do' public displays of affection. At home, she's been staying over more and more, only going back to her place to grab clothes or some medicinal herbs. But once we step outside, it's like a wall goes up, one I can't climb. I like having her around. Coming home after a shift or even just a meeting to see her at the door with a hug and a glass of lemonade—it's become her favorite—feels like something solid. But the way she can flip from warm to distant gives me whiplash. At least we still trade off cooking dinners.
My place has more variety than her usual stews and chilis, since she mostly sticks to what she grows or hunts. When she feels up to it. Sometimes we invite Haymitch over, though he rarely leaves Victors Village unless it's unavoidable.
As we near the grocer, I feel her stiffen beside me. Too many people, too many eyes. She hates it. But we didn't have a choice. I placed my hand gently on her back, trying to guide her inside, but her body tensed even more under my touch. I pulled away, pretending to brush something off her shirt. Her sharp look told me she wasn't fooled.
Earlier, she insisted on bringing greens from her garden for dinner, but when we got there, Duck had torn through most of them. Now, we had no choice but to shop here, in a place she clearly despised.
Inside, we moved down the aisles, our hands brushing now and then. The touches lingered, until I got bold and took her hand. For a moment, she squeezed back, her grip strong and steady, like she was grounding herself. But then the moment broke. People were watching. I could feel their eyes on us, on her. She loosened her grip.
I knew what they were thinking. Everyone assumed her connection to Keagan was unshakable, like they were tied together by something deeper. And here I was, holding her hand in the middle of the grocer like some naive boy. She let go, muttering something about needing to grab an item, and I let her slip away.
Whiplash.
We gathered what we needed—lettuce, greens, spinach. Katniss picked up oil and lemons for a dressing and grabbed extra lemons for the lemonade. She had noticed my pitcher was running low. She said we'd make a fresh batch when we got home. I eyed the chickens behind the counter, but compared to what she used to bring back from the woods, they seemed small. Insignificant. It had been about two weeks since she last hunted, but I didn't want to push her. Sure, I missed the taste of freshly caught meat—meat she had hunted, skinned, cleaned, cooked—but I couldn't ask her to face those memories just to satisfy my cravings. There's something different about food that comes from effort, from survival. The grocer's neatly packaged chickens didn't hold a candle to that. Haymitch always said their "fresh" was more of a label than reality.
Still, we grabbed a few chickens. Maybe we'd cook them tomorrow. As we walked through the store, our hands brushed again. This time, I gave her space. I stepped slightly to the side, not wanting to press her when I already knew how much being out here bothered her.
When we got back to the house, Katniss casually announced she'd take the first shower. Sometimes it's that easy. Other days, we'd race for it, letting a round of Rock, Paper, Scissors decide who goes first. Today, though, there was no contest. She disappeared into the bathroom, and I started putting away the groceries.
As I reached for the last bag, I noticed a smaller one, tucked carefully inside. At first, I thought nothing of it—until I pulled out a slim, black box, almost weightless in my hands. My heart dropped. There was no way this accidentally "slipped" into our bags. She must've grabbed it when I wasn't paying attention. I turned it over in my hands, and the label stared back at me, the words sinking in like stones.
"Pleasure for both him and her. Non-latex condoms."
I felt the blood drain from my face as the bathroom door opened. Her shadow passed the hallway, and panic set in. I shoved the box back into the bag and tried to focus on the groceries, heart pounding in my chest. I leaned forward slightly, just enough to catch a glimpse through the small crack in my bedroom door. Katniss stood in front of the mirror, unaware of me watching, her wet hair falling down her back. Her body, outlined in the reflection, sent my thoughts spiraling. I was frozen in place, unsure if she even knew the door was open.
"H-hey, Katniss," I stammered, my voice betraying me. "Did you, uh, want to drag Haymitch over for dinner tonight?"
There was a pause, and I heard the soft creak of the door opening wider. She stepped out in one of my t-shirts, her damp hair cascading over her shoulders. The shirt clung to her in all the wrong—or right—ways. Suddenly, my joggers felt much tighter than before.
She shook her head and settled onto the couch, her gaze following me. "He's not even here. Haymitch left early for the Capitol to convince them not to drag me to that Peace meeting. If he doesn't come back next week, it means I'll have to go." She let out a small laugh, twirling the ends of her hair nervously. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really hope I see Haymitch next week."
Her laughter sounded light, but the way she played with her hair gave away her anxiety. She was trying to mask her fear, and I knew better than to push. The last time I tried to get her to talk about those meetings, I was rewarded with a balled-up sock to the face and the sound of her door slamming behind her. So, instead, I stayed quiet and grabbed the bag with the small box. I tossed it to her casually.
"I didn't pick that up, so I assumed it was something personal for you," I said as nonchalantly as I could, trying to keep my voice steady. I didn't want her to know I'd already seen what it was.
There were a dozen ways I could've handled it. I could've asked her about it, joked it off, or even tossed them in the trash, pretending they never made it into the house. But the truth was, Katniss and I… our friendship was different. Closer than it had been before, and definitely more complicated than most friendships. Anyone I used to know would've been over the moon at the idea of getting this kind of attention from someone like Katniss. But for me, it wasn't that simple. My feelings for her were too strong, too entangled with everything we'd been through. And because of that, I couldn't just brush this off or give her the go-ahead. Not yet. No matter the amount of kisses or flirtatious comments, or the random games of grab ass, I wasn't ready for sex. It wasn't the right time for either one of us.
In the Mellark family, or at least to the three brothers, losing your virginity wasn't considered the most monumental thing. That title was reserved for something else—making a girl finish without her help. But we still took it seriously. We were raised to respect our partners, to understand that the first few times are usually awkward, messy, and uncomfortable, especially for the girl. My father adored my mother, even when she was difficult, and my brothers… well, they had no shortage of girls. But when it was a girl's first time, they made sure it was memorable, made sure she felt comfortable. I had my chances, but I never had the guts to go through with it. I always wanted my first, and only, to be Katniss. Whether or not that would actually happen? That was a mystery until now. Seeing how she's been acting lately, it seems my timeline just sped up.
Katniss's eyes squeezed shut, and she drew in a shaky breath. "Don't lie, you looked inside."
I stopped what I was doing, leaning against the counter, palms pressed into the cool surface. I didn't look at her. Instead, my eyes landed on the bag next to her. I nodded slowly.
She bit her lip and tossed the bag onto the table, clearly unimpressed with my reaction. I took a deep breath, rounded the kitchen island, and approached her slowly, carefully.
"Katniss, listen," I began, trying to keep my voice steady. "I'm… honored that you'd want to do that with me, but I don't think it's the right time. We're still figuring each other out, and I don't want to rush anything."
I spoke slowly, careful not to poke the unpredictable creature standing in front of me. Her eyes flashed, and she crossed her arms over her chest. Was she seriously defiant right now? I crossed my arms too, matching her stance, feeling the tension rise between us.
Did she expect me to just pounce on her, to give in and make love to her right here, right now? Affection, though rare, was no stranger to us, but we barely kissed! We couldn't even hold hands in public. I still hadn't told her how I really felt, it was more of something that just happened. We continued our stances and stared at one another, waiting for the other to make a move or say anything.
"I didn't put those fucking things in there. I didn't even know what they were until I looked on our way home." she mumbled and glared at the box. I remembered now- on our way home she was making sure we actually got everything we needed, and I could see a look on her face that I couldn't make sense of. I realized it was classic mortified Katniss. My eyes slammed shut, a wave of relief passing over me. Theres the Katniss I know- innocent and pure. I knew she wasn't ready either.
"Oh," I breathed out, pressing the heels of my palms into my eyes. "Katniss, no offense but I am very relieved you said that. Telling you no to having sex is probably the hardest thing I have ever done." I joked out. Katniss's eyes narrowed and she looked down at my crotch and then back up to my eyes.
"Although that may be true for you, it's probably the second hardest thing in the room," she boldly teased, going back to turning on the TV and ignoring my jaw which I had to pick up off the floor.
The next morning, instead of the chirping of my alarm clock rousing me from sleep, it was the chiming of my phone in the kitchen. Ryn was calling at 4:30, asking if I could come in because a few people had called out and they were about to start tripling patients. Normally, I would've agreed in an instant and jumped into my morning routine, but that was before the girl of my dreams was in my bed, waiting for me to return.
Tripling was a major no-no on our critical care floor—one patient was heavy, two was the max, and three was pure insanity. I groaned and reluctantly agreed to come in, trying to remind myself of the money I was saving up. I trudged back into my room and flopped onto my pillow with a thud.
Katniss stirred slightly, leaning over me with a sleepy expression. "You okay?" she asked, rubbing her eye with her wrist.
"Yeah, but I have to go in today," I replied, my voice laced with regret. "We're going to have to postpone our plans."
We had talked excitedly the night before about going for a run and then having a picnic in the Meadow since it was my last day off for the next four days. Now, it seemed like I was extending that to five.
Katniss pouted and sighed, a familiar look of disappointment crossing her face. She understood that my job came first, that I loved taking care of my patients, and of course, the money was important. She had once told me that the money from her Games was endless and that if I needed to save up for something, she could easily help me out. But my drive to care for others, along with my stubborn pride, was far too strong for that.
"Damn, well, I guess we will have the weekend to look forward to," she said, trying to sound cheerful. I closed my eyes again and nodded in my pillow, feeling sleep starting to pull me back under for a few minutes, only to open when she leaned over and kissed my shoulder, then my neck, then my lips. I kissed her back gently, almost sleepily so she didn't feel my eagerness, and when she pulled back, I looked to her lazily and smiled, moving hair behind her ear.
Slowly, she pressed her lips again to mine and started to move on top of me, straddling my stomach. Any lower and she would have basically sat on my now very hard dick. I put my hands on her waist, steadying her so she didn't move down and we continued to move our mouths ever so painfully slowly. As our lips moved in sync, I licked her bottom lip, which granted me access to her mouth. She turned her head to allow my entrance and I shoved my tongue in her mouth, hers now twisting and licking mine. She hungrily kissed me harder and more urgently, her hands on my face as she moaned into my mouth, and I could feel her hips starting to pull forward and push back, grinding on my stomach.
I moaned quietly and reached up to grab one of her breasts and she gasped. I pulled it away quickly and pushed her back up a bit to break our kiss. We stared each other down, waiting for the other to say something.
"Katniss, what are you doing?" I ask sheepishly. I think on our conversation last night after we got home from the store, and I wonder if this was an act of defiance. That maybe I had offended her when I told her I wasn't ready. She was a stubborn person, but this was next level.
She hushed me with a sly smile and grabbed my hand and placed it on her covered breast, squeezing it. I moaned, deciding if this is what she wanted, a bit of making out and touching, who am I to decline. I forced my self to stay slow, to not push for anything else as we agreed.
I put my hand on the back of her neck, forcing her gently to come back down to kiss me again. I gently squeezed her breast and rubbed circles around her nipple, making it come alive against my thumb and much easier to find. Once again our tongues were fighting for dominance and her lips were feeling swollen against mine. I tugged on her bottom lip with my teeth and she smiled, but her eyes were dilated with lust.
I continued to massage her breasts, now fondling both, and she threw her head back giving me a loud moan. I smiled and shushed her, looking back towards the wall, indicating the neighbor who probably didn't want to be awoken by loud moans, and continued to squeeze, her hips now grinding my stomach.
Despite my neighbor and the crap I would get for it, I had wished I did move her down some.
I looked down between us and found her panties were soaked and my stomach was starting to glisten with her arousal. I moved one hand down to her thigh, inching it up closer and closer until she gave me the indication to stop, but that never came. This is as far as I am willing to go, I thought.
Its just touching, Peeta.
My hand was pressing on her lower stomach, mere inches away from her center. She continued to grind and was massaging her other breast while I did the other, and in a moment of impulsivity, I pinched her nipple through her bra hard. She cried out and grinded harder but slower. I wanted to make her cry out again, so I pinched harder and she screamed a moan.
"Katniss, tell me what you want," I whispered, her movements slowing to a stop and she made eye contact with me intensely. My nerves started to build, as I maybe had taken her out of the trance she was under and now that I was asking her to tell me what 'she' wanted, she would be mortified and run.
I rubbed the lining of her underwear, then looked up at her through my lashes. She got off me and laid down on her back. I sat up, never breaking eye contact with her and leaned over her small frame.
"What would you like me to do, Katniss? Tell me," I pleaded. She took my hand again, she's more of a doer than a talker, and placed it on the band of her panties, pushing it down slightly.
Getting the message, I leaned over her and kneed her legs apart, sitting on my legs and looping my thumbs around the sides of her panties. I look to her first, asking her if I could take these off, and in response she lifted her hips off the bed slightly. I slowly pulled down, watching her as I did, just in case she came to her senses and wanted me to stop.
Once they were around her ankles, I slipped them off and kissed her knee, staring at her eyes which are now frighteningly bright in the dark. I kissed up slowly into her thigh, my head screaming at how hard this was to go slow and of course to not go too far. I had some idea of what I was doing, but Katniss was different in every aspect. Trying to figure out thing she liked or disliked was like approaching an apprehensive animal. I thought about what I wanted to do. Eat her out? Or is that too up close and personal, not like I have been before, but this was different. Having sex was out of the question, we decided that earlier. I figured that I could ease us both into something that almost felt childish, like two high schoolers hiding out and touching one another.
I decided to lean over her, giving the illusion I was going to put my hips to hers but instead I used my middle finger to rub the outer folds of her wetness and move in closer, rubbing the inner folds up and down. She gave me an open mouth moan and gripped my arm that was holding me up, and her legs relaxed, opening more and wrapping around my back. I traced my finger up and down, noticing that towards the top, around a small nub, her hips bucked into my hand. I circled this a few times and she was panting with want, thrusting up to it. I pressed it slightly and moved in circular motions which earned me some of Katniss's famous potty mouth.
"Oh, fuck, Peeta," she groaned out, biting her lip so hard I thought she would bleed. I stopped rubbing around her nub and slid my finger down her slit towards her entrance. I pushed the tip of my finger inside, watching her face as I did so, and when I saw the look of pure pleasure on her face, I pushed my entire finger inside of her. She was wet, tight and already pulsing against my finger. I moved in and out slowly, moaning with her as I accidentally grazing my very hard dick in my shorts.
"Peeta please, more," she begged, and I happily obliged. I slid my finger out and looked at them curiously. It was soaked in her arousal, and I brought it to my lips while keeping eye contact with her. I sucked my finger, tasting her and driving myself nuts.
I leaned in and kissed her. "Mm, oh Katniss, you taste delicious," I mumbled against her mouth, allowing her to taste herself on my tongue. Katniss didn't respond and instead licked her lips, tasting herself on her mouth now. She was so screwed up in pleasure that when I shoved two fingers inside her wetness she couldn't even make a noise. Her jaw dropped and her closed eyes squeezed shut. It was tighter than before with two, and I started to pump in and out of her roughly, holding her hip down from thrusting upwards. I then remembered my brothers talking about the various "spots" girls had in their anatomy, and one inside was called the G- spot. They said it would feel spongy and textured, not smooth like the rest of her. I recalled the position their fingers were in, pointed upwards in a "come here" motion against the spot. As I moved my fingers upwards, Katniss tightened even more and was gripping the pillow her head laid on. I started moving slowly, doing a "come here" motion with my fingers and increasing my speed.
"Oh, God, Peeta! Don't stop, please don't stop!" she cried out, her legs trying to fight against my strength of holding her down. I grinned at her thrashing around and went back to pumping in and out of her, my thumb now pressing on her clit. Her lusty eyes opened and met mine, glazed over in pleasure. I adjusted my stance on my knees, moving right up to her and started to thrust my hips against my hand to guide my fingers movements, giving us the illusion of me pushing inside her.
I felt a rare stirring come to me in my stomach, and I flat palmed her stomach and moved it up slowly to the base of her neck. Craning her neck upwards, she allowed me to wrap my fingers around her throat. I was into the idea of rougher stuff, but I was also perfectly content with vanilla sexual encounters. Apparently, Katniss was also open to the idea.
I squeezed gently on the sides of her neck to make her a little lightheaded and continued to pump my fingers in and out of her.
"Katniss," I demanded. "Open your eyes and watch me as I finger fuck you."
She flashed opened her eyes, which granted her another squeeze around her throat. I tried to not swear around her usually. Words like this only really came out when we argued, or I was jerking off alone, or I hurt myself due to clumsiness.
Her walls were squeezing my fingers, telling me she was close. I started to do the "come here" motion again, this time rougher. I could feel my arm cramping but I was so determined to make her finish. Her legs were tightly around my waist, trapping me to her, and I could feel her shaking.
"Cum for me Katniss, cum all over my fucking fingers," I moaned, leaning down to kiss her swollen lips. After a few moments of this, Katniss's kissing stilled and she went silent as her mouth started to open into an 'O' shape. "That's it," I dragged my tongue on her neck up to her ear. "Good girl."
I thought she was done until I heard the most beautiful phrase escape her lips.
"Peeta, fuck! I'm cumming!" her moans were loud and her back arched off the bed, rolling her eyes to the back of her head as I pumped harder and harder, spending and dragging out this orgasm as long as I could. She breathed in hard like she had been holding her breath underwater for too long, and she relaxed in the bed sheets. Releasing her neck, I wasn't sure if she was done, so I pumped a few more times before retracting my fingers and looking down at her swollen pussy. I licked my fingers in front of her and watched her eyes flash. Satisfied that I was able to make my dream girl cum, again, I sat on the edge of the bed, attaching my prosthetic, and got up to grab a towel. Wiping my fingers down of the remains of her wetness, and then her legs and center before it got all over the sheets. To which, I couldn't care less if they did. I would probably never was the sheets again if she'd let me. She watched me in adornment as I walked into the bathroom to take a shower.
When I got out, she was asleep in my bed, on my side, taking in the smell of me through my pillow. I smiled and continued to get ready for the day. I had jerked off in the shower, so I was finally relieved of the extremely painful stiffness that came when I was fingering Katniss, especially when she came all over my fingers. I realized in the shower that talking her through the orgasm was the hottest thing I have ever done and seen, and I thought about all the things I would say now if she would allow me to make her feel that again.
Once I was dressed in my scrubs—this time, a scrub top tucked into my jogger scrub pants—I grabbed a pair of socks, slid them on, and slipped into my sneakers. I hadn't made lunch the night before since I hadn't known I'd be going in, so I quickly grabbed the first thing I could find: a leftover sandwich that Katniss had made and stored half of. After gathering everything I needed, I tiptoed back into the bedroom. There she was, stretched out on her stomach, her hair cascading around her back and the pillows. I noticed she hadn't put her panties back on, so I gently draped a blanket over her, patting it softly as I rubbed my hand from her bottom to her shoulder. Leaning down, I pressed a solid kiss to the top of her head, then took her dangling hand and kissed it as well. If she hadn't been hiding her face in the pillows, I would've kissed her lips, but I figured that could wait until later.
A thought suddenly struck me as I locked my front door and made my way downstairs: If there was a later.
As I walked through town to work, the dread of Katniss possibly leaving invaded my mind. We had discussed the back-and-forth, and she hadn't done it in a long time. But I had kept myself protected, waiting for an encore of her indecision. Things were going so well now! She wouldn't leave, right?
But then my brain interrupted.
But she did last time.
Yeah, but that was before we were close. We're so close now.
Are you? Because all I see is a girl getting what she wants because the guy is so pussy whipped that he would screw her just because she blinked at you the right way
She's not going to leave me.
When you find your house empty later, you'll know what you are to her… a pathetic lover boy
I shake the nasty thoughts out of my head and make my way up the stairs into my unit. I scanned my badge, missing the first time since I was so lost in thought, and continued my day as if nothing happened this morning. Of course the pep in my step couldn't be missed.
Delly nudged me as she walked to her rooms, now 5 doors down from me, and nodded to the door on my right. "Good luck with them," she made a face and I squinted my eyes at her, then looked to the door. I groaned as I realized my neighbor was Chasity, who usually was a nightshifter, but since they were desperate, they called anyone who would agree to come in. I rubbed my face in my hands and noticed that I still had the faint smell on Katniss on my hands. Thinking about this morning, my heart started to beat faster, and I could feel her every move once again like it was happening in real time. The grinding, the thrusting, the clenching from her cumming, how wet she was before and after.
I was about to excuse myself to the bathroom when I stood up and heard the continuous dialysis, or CRRT machine start to alarm. I strode in, forgetting about Katniss, and adjusted the issue based on the screen, and set it to continue. They were very young, and apparently were transferred from District 13 as well as a majority of the patients we were receiving now that families were starting to return back to District 12. I looked at his ID bracelet, seeing what their name was and I was met with a "John Doe". Chasity arrived and insisted we share a desk since she was split by my patient. Trying to ignore her 3rd story about the shoes she had ordered from the Capitol, I leaned back in my chair to look down at Delly, who was looking a bit rough, and I decided to hang around there while listening out for my patient.
"Morning sunshine, how are you?" she said reaching up at me as I leaned down to hug her. This now felt odd, since Katniss was apart of my life now. In what way, oh I have zero idea. Especially after this morning. I shrugged and looked through the window into Caras room.
"Fine, I guess, just wasn't really expecting a call at 4:30 am to come in." Delly's jaw dropped.
"Are you fucking serious? 4:30am? Oh, no way, the way I would have hung up or ignored the call," she snorted, using her hand as a phone and slamming it down into the desk, mimicking what I probably should actually had done this morning.
"Well, I was going to but I didn't want it to wake up Katni-" I froze immediately when I realized I was about to admit to my best friend why I was always in a rush to get home now adays.
"Peeta Mellark, were you just about to tell me that Katniss is the one you've been sneaking around with?!" she whispered almost too loudly. I shushed her and looked around.
"Hey, can you not announce to the floor that I am talking to her? She's already dealing with a lot, the last thing she needs is another rat going to the tabloids about her "new secret lover"," I quote with my hands. Delly sucks in her lips and looks me up and down. "What?"
"You guys are having sex?" she said a bit too calmly. I widened my eyes and shook my head.
"N-no way, we are just… just… I don't know, its weird. We're not officially together, but shes been at my house for the last couple of weeks and yeah there was some kissing here and there and… other… stuff, but that's it!" I rush out, now feeling the heat of embarrassment rush into my cheeks.
Delly continued to suck in her lips and shook her head at me. "Oh, boy Peeta, you have got it bad to be doing so much with a title so little." She stood and waltz into Cara's room to give a few morning meds and I rolled my eyes.
What did she know? Delly and Katniss shared as much in common as oil and water do. They were both human girls and that was the actual extent of it all. They never talked, just as Katniss and I had started, and the only information she had on Katniss came from tabloids and magazines. I knew her favorite color, her birthday, the way she likes her tea, and that she was the Mockingjay and reason District 12 blew up. I also knew she had a sister who she loved dearly, that she hunted regularly, or at least used to. Then I realized, these are all things you could read about in a magazine article about Katniss. I'm pretty sure there was one a couple years back, a quiz called "How well do you know Katniss Everdeen?"
Sitting on this, I considered that maybe she knew as much as I did about Katniss. I still don't know much about her father, just that he taught her everything she knows for hunting, he gave her the gift of song and how she misses him. I still don't know what happened between her and her ex-hunting partner and possible ex-boyfriend. She rarely talked about Prim, her games, her experiences. I still didn't know why she is covered in self-harm scars, the things she thought of herself to drive herself to that point. How for the last 2 years since the war she hadn't melted away. Importantly, I still didn't know how she felt about me truly. I just knew that I made her feel safer, calmer. But, is she using me for that? Could she possibly have feelings for me? If she didn't, she was doing a whole hell of a lot of self healing in my bed.
To shield myself from a possible, or inevitable heartbreak, I pushed down the need to acknowledge that maybe I really was messing around with a complete stranger.
Poor Peeta :( but I really do believe that Katniss would be wishy washy even years after the war. She wants to come outta her shell and try but some habits are hard to break. Even in a canon story I feel like this would happen. Anyways, thank u again for reading : )