The next file reads "INCIDENT 0104162001" and has a drawing of a bear and a mushroom on it.

Ruby: "Next incident on the agenda is 0104162001."

Shannon: "That one involves a wild animal and magic mushrooms."

The image on the file depicts a man lying down lifeless on the ground. His body and clothes are covered in bloody slash marks.

Shannon: (Sarcastically) "Let's see how amazingly well those combine, shall we?"

Zoom in.

As the video begins we see the sun setting over what seems to be an empty stretch of shrub.

Date of Incident: 16 April, 2001

Location of Incident: Somewhere in the Mojave Desert, near Palmdale, California

We then cut to the man from the file holding two pebbles up to his ears.

Ruby: (Narrating) "This here is Randy. He's, like, out of his gourd."

We then see Ransdy now holding a pile of dried mushrooms in his hands.

Ruby: (Narrating) "Some time ago he ate a handful of magic mushrooms…"

The effects are revealed, as Randy sprints through the desert barking like a dog.

Ruby: (Narrating) "and now he's wandering the desert as high as a kite. Shanny, you know how they work, right?"

Cut to Shannon in the office, holding her tablet. A molecular sketch diagram is shown on the screen.

Shannon: "Around 200 species of mushrooms contain a compound known as psilocybin. By itself this compound is inert, but when it enters your body it is rapidly converted into psilocin, which has strong hallucinogenic effects."

Randy is now listening to several plants, which in his drugged state of mind are giving off a cricket noise.

Ruby: (Narrating) "He asked the bushes for an answer, and got nothing."

Randy: (Whispering) "Liar…"

Ruby: (Narrating) "He also got in touch with his inner dog and got a little dirty…"

Randy resumes barking. He then shuffles away on all fours. A new shot shows him running down a hill, laughing maniacally.

Ruby: (Narrating) "If you were not, like, tripping out on mushrooms, Randy would appear to be completely insane. And then things got weirder."

Fast forward a few hours. It is now nighttime, and the full moon hangs bright in the sky. Animal calls echo across the dusty landscape. It is revealed that these sounds are coming from a campfire in the desert. Around it are a group of people wearing animal costumes, all engaged in various sexual activities. A bear is doing a goat doggy style, while a chicken is giving a zebra a blowjob and a bunny is engaging in 69 with a cat.

Ruby: (Narrating) "At the end of the day, Randy came across a group of fornicating furries."

Randy is seen investigating this scene from a nearby bush.

Ruby: (Narrating) "I'm sure you've heard of furries, yes? People who like pretending to be, like, anthropomorphised animals wearing costumes. They like getting together for fun activities. In this case, group sex. Shanny, you did research this, right?"

Back in the office Shannon has the file in her hands and is inspecting it.

Shannon: "A furry orgy is also called a fur pile. From what I've gathered talking with actual furries, the furries involved will let out their spirit animals, whatever they are, and what naturally happens follows next."

At the campfire Randy emerges from his hiding spot and approaches the zebra, who is now masturbating a beaver.

Ruby: (Narrating) "In Randy's current state of mind, sex seemed, like, a great idea. The zebra looked kind of cute…"

Randy reaches out and pets the zebra's fur, only for the zebra to stop what he is doing and shove him away.

Zebra: "Hey, get your hands off of me!"

Once Randy does so, the zebra resumes.

Ruby: (Narrating) "This orgy was, like, turning tricky."

Randy tries to approach the bunny and the chicken next.

Ruby: (Narrating) "Instead of a threesome with a zebra and a cute beaver, maybe it was time to squeeze some honey out of Miss Bunny…"

He reaches out to pet the bunny, only for the chicken to swing around and begin angrily pecking him with the beak of his costume, knocking him to the ground amidst growling and fornicating.

Ruby: (Narrating) "But the cock shooed him away with his pecker."

A brief whisper is heard.

Ruby: (Narrating) "You wanna say something Shanny? Okay."

Back to Shannon in the office.

Shannon: "From what I've heard a group of furries wouldn't just let any old man join them, as Randy is learning now. It'd be like 'Who is this guy? Who's coming into my kingdom?' (laughs)"

Randy is now trying to seduce a lion, only for a bear to shove him away.

Bear: "Get out of here, ya freak!"

Randy runs away back into the bushes.

Ruby: (Narrating) "It looked like Randy would get, like, no love from the animal kingdom. But then…"

Randy looks up, and much to his delight he sees what looks to be another person in a bear costume some distance away from the campfire. Their costume looks especially well-made.

Ruby: (Narrating) "...there she was. A sultry little teddy furry."

Randy exits the bushes and approaches the bear.

Ruby: (Narrating) "Randy knew he was about to get smokey with Mama Bear."

He reaches out to pet the bear.

Ruby: (Narrating) "But it turns out he got freaky with the wrong furry."

As solemn as Randy touches the bear it suddenly roars and knocks him down to the ground.

Ruby: (Narrating) "You see… this bear was a real, live bear."

The bear begins clawing at the screaming Randy with its sharp claws.

Ruby: (Narrating) "And it was not into casual sex with a human. One final word, Shanny?"

The segment's final office shot shows Shannon still holding her tablet, now displaying a picture of a bear.

Shannon: "The bear probably saw Randy as an aggressor, and took his attempted seduction as an attack, not a game."

The bear is still mauling Randy. He screams in agonising pain as the bear begins chewing at his feet.

Shannon: "Once a bear has all four paws around you it'll just start eating you, and the worst part is it'll normally start while you are still alive."

Eventually, Randy screams fade away into silence. The furries are still engaged in their orgy in the background, seemingly without a care for the apex predator slaughtering Randy.

Ruby: (Narrating) "Hm… let's recap what we've, like, learned from Randy's gruesome death, shall we?"

A quick flashback of randy barking is shown.

Ruby: (Narrating) "This is your brain."

Another flashback shows Randy running down the hill screaming.

Ruby: (Narrating) "This is your brain on drugs."

One final flashback shows the bear removing Randy from the census.

Ruby: (Narrating) "And this is a bear ripping out your throat after you, like, tried to have sex with it whilst high on drugs."

A final shot settles on the bear eating some of Randy's flesh while the orgy continues in the background.

Ruby: (Narrating) "The lesson: when nature calls, just say no."

WAY TO DIE #412

EM-BEAR-ASSED

Return to the Sharuby couple in their office.

Ruby: "I'm nominating this guy for dumbest druggie in our death archive if you, like, don't mind."

Shannon: "You do that. Next file please - your turn to narrate."

Ruby nods, closing the file and marking it before wheeling over to get the next one.