A/N This chapter's title was inspired by the song Hanging By A Moment sung by Lifehouse. Please read, review, and let me know if you caught the references made in this chapter!
Elyssa stared down at the paper in her hands. She had worked hard all week to earn a little extra money to spend on a souvenir and she had managed to catch her mother in a rare good mood this morning. Now she had a signed permission slip to the Van Gogh exhibit in the museum. Excitement coursed through her as she waited in line to board the bus. Vincent Van Gogh was one of her favorite artists. There was just something about the way he found beauty in the sorrows of life that inspired her. She couldn't wait to see his works up close.
When she stepped onto the bus, she saw that almost every seat was full. She shuffled her way to the back of the bus, trying to find an open seat. She made it to the very last seat on the bus to find Solas sitting attentively, keeping an eye on the busful of students.
"Um… Solas?" Elyssa whispered shyly.
"Yes?" his blue eyes focused on her, a corner of his full lips turning up into a welcoming smile.
"All the other seats are full," she stated, "may I sit here?
"Of course," He stood, letting her take the window seat. She smiled gratefully at him and took the seat he offered. Solas collected the permission slips from all the students and checked that all the students were seated properly before the bus began rolling. When he had ensured everyone was seated safely and with permission, he took his seat next to Elyssa. He found that she had pulled a book from the bag at her side.
"What are you reading?" Solas asked curiously.
Elyssa held the book up for Solas to see the title, The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe. She saw surprise light her teacher's blue-grey eyes.
"You're reading the works of Poe on a bus ride to a Van Gogh museum exhibit?" Solas chuckled.
"Yes," Elyssa answered hesitantly, "is there something wrong with that?"
His mouth widened in a smile. "Not at all," he answered, "I'm just surprised to find someone your age taking such an interest in those subjects,"
"It comforts me, knowing that their pain and suffering could be turned to something beautiful," she whispered, "It gives me hope that maybe mine can be made into something beautiful one day as well," She spoke so softly his elven ears almost couldn't hear it.
Solas stared in interest at his pupil. Though he was surprised that she was being so honest, he was pleased she was beginning to open up to him. However, he didn't want to push his luck too much and pry, causing her to close herself off once again. "What's your favorite work of Poe's?" he decided to ask instead.
"From childhood's hour, I have not been. As others were—I have not seen. As others saw—I could not bring. My passions from a common spring—" she quoted with a quiet voice.
"From the same source, I have not taken. My sorrow—I could not awaken. My heart to joy at the same tone— And all I lov'd—I lov'd alone—" Solas continued, his mouth turning into a sad smile. His mind swirled with questions he wanted desperately to ask. Why was Alone her favorite work by Edgar Allan Poe? Granted, Poe was not known for his cheery disposition, but of all the gothic author's works, why that one? Most students her age could barely pay attention to the required studies of The Raven or The Masque of The Red Death. Yet here was Elyssa Lavellan, quoting one of his lesser-known poems while reading a book of Poe's complete works in her spare time.
"You seem familiar with that particular piece," Elyssa commented. She watched the elven man closely. She knew all too well that sad smile he displayed, that familiarity with a poem that described in the best way the feeling of being lost on one's own. It would seem her art teacher might understand her better than she thought.
A tightness gripped her heart at the thought of what could have put that sad smile on his face. In all the time she had been in high school, she had watched Solas walk confidently through the halls. She looked on as he smiled as students proudly displayed their works outside his classroom. She had even been the occasional observer of his joking demeanor with Coach Bull and Councilor Adaar. Never once in all that time did she notice that his stormy eyes had the same sad depth her's did when she gazed at herself in the mirror. Yet right now, as the bus rolled down the highway, all she could notice was the unimaginable sorrow in the grey-blue depths she stared into. What had put that pain there?
"What about you?" She took her mind off the gorgeous color of Solas's eyes and the mysteries held there.
"Pardon?" It seemed he, too, had been distracted.
"What's your favorite Poe piece?" She clarified.
"Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now, Thus much let me avow — You are not wrong, who deem, That my days have been a dream," Solas quoted. He was curious, just how much of Poe was Elyssa familiar with?
"Yet if hope has flown away In a night, or in a day, In a vision, or in none, Is it, therefore, the less gone? All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream." Elyssa did what he had hoped and finished the verse.
"I'm impressed, Miss Lavellan," he nodded approvingly. The small frown that dawned her features reminded Solas of her request to utilize her first name. "I apologize, Elyssa," he murmured sincerely, "your distaste for your last name slipped my mind for a moment,"
"I don't dislike my last name," Elyssa disagreed, "it just reminds me that I'm different,"
"I understand," Solas nodded, "but the Lavellan clan was once the most respected clans in the Free Marshes," He could understand the desire to have a more simple name that didn't set one apart from their peers. His own family had changed their elven name of Fen to the English translation of Wolfe generations before him. It had been said they were descendants of the once great Fen'Harel from the Dragon Age. He also recalled that the Lavellan clan sired the elven Inquisitor that had stood by Fen'Harel and saved Thedas from sure destruction all those ages ago. Elyssa should be proud of her lineage. Still, he understood the desire for simplicity.
A heavy sigh sounded from Elyssa. "It's a bit more… complicated… than that," she explained.
"Anything you care to talk about?" Solas asked her carefully.
Elyssa lifted a brow in surprised response. "Um, we're at the museum now," she answered.
"Another time then, perhaps," Solas suggested, his voice laced with hope. Elyssa didn't answer, instead, she focused on putting away her book. Solas let her retreat into herself, wishing he knew how to get her to open up.
The bus rolled to a stop in a designated parking space. Elyssa watched as Solas snapped into what could best be described as teacher mode. He opened the bus doors and instructed the students to file into a line. He ensured each student was accounted for and in pairs. The standard buddy system for any field trip. Elyssa, being the last person off the bus was left without a buddy.
"It would seem you are once again required to be my companion," Solas remarked, coming to stand next to her. An amused smile lightened Elyssa's features.
"You're going to be my buddy?" She teased.
"Well I wouldn't want any of my students to be buddiless," he smiled.
"It must be my lucky day," Elyssa laughed, "my teacher is my buddy."
"I assure you the pleasure is mine." Solas jokingly winked, causing Elyssa to burst into a fit of laughter. Warmth seeped through Solas's chest at the musical sound of her joyous laughter. He found himself staring intensely Elyssa: the way her bottom lip curled in slightly as she laughed, the way merriment caused her normally pale green irises to become a more vibrant shade of the Jade stone they resembled, how her petite frame shook delicately at the low rumbles of amusement that coursed through her. His heart thudded unevenly in his chest and the thought of how beautiful it was to see Elyssa laugh dominated his mind.
"Well, Mr. Art Teacher," Elyssa's bell-like voice called for his attention, "are you going to teach us of the wonderful life and works of Vincent Van Gogh? Or should I do it?" Solas laughed at her joking taunt, though he didn't doubt that she probably knew quite a bit about the troubled artist.
"You're too young to be trying to take my job from me yet," Solas chuckled. Elyssa laughed with him, causing the same uneven beat of his heart and warmth as before to spread through his chest.
"Give me a few years and you may just have some competition, Mr. Wolfe," she winked at him teasingly. Solas chuckled before walking to the front of the line. He expected her to follow, being that he was her partner for this trip. Instead, she chose to remain behind the rest of the students. He got the class into the Van Gogh exhibit and allowed them to wander in pairs before addressing the issue.
"Why do you choose to hide behind everyone?" He asked directly.
"What do you mean?" She cocked her head to the side, causing a few strands of ash-white hair to fall into her face. Absentmindedly, Solas moved the strands out of her face and tucked them into a pointed ear. A burning heat flared beneath his fingertips. A fiery red blush had trailed from Elyssa's cheeks to the tips of her ears, causing the heat he felt beneath his fingers. Idly, he let his fingertips trail down the point of her ear to her jaw and then along the length of her chin. He liked the way her blush seemed to follow the trail his fingers made. The swirling green depths of her eyes drew him closer, her pouty lips begged for his attention. For the first time since he truly noticed Elyssa, he let himself realize just how beautiful she was.
"Solas?" She murmured. Elyssa's heart pounded in her chest. He was so close to her, like a dream almost within arms reach but not quite close enough to grasp. She saw a hunger mist the grey swirls of blue that were his eyes. A hunger for what she didn't know. She felt the heat of his long fingers against her jaw. Inside, she longed for things she knew would never happen, not with her. If she were older, not a student, and not broken, maybe then could she give in to her desires. But she would always be broken, that was something that would never change. So, she did the sensible thing and took a step back before she caused problems for a man who was innocently moving hair out of her face. "What do you mean why do I choose to hide behind everyone?"
Solas's attention was brought back to the matter at hand. He couldn't believe he let himself get caught up in the beauty of one of his students. It was inappropriate and almost certainly unwelcome by Elyssa. The last thing she needed was her teacher behaving inappropriately. Especially when he had nothing to offer her. He had long since given up on anything more than casual dalliances.
"The buddy system is in place to ensure each student has someone to look after them in case something -such as getting lost- were to happen," Solas explained, "so I would greatly appreciate it if you were to remain by my side for the remainder of this trip."
Elyssa nodded, a shy smile creeping onto her face. It was nice to have someone want her to be close to them, even if it were for the sake of field trip safety. They wandered around the exhibit looking at all the paintings done by Van Gogh, taking turns telling the history of the artist's life. While most of the students browsed through his more famous paintings, listening to the teachings of the museum curator, Dr. Black, Elyssa chose to roam intently through his lesser-known pieces. She finally came to a stop in front of a painting of a vase of sunflowers.
"I wonder who Amy is?" Elyssa murmured quietly to herself.
"To whom are you referring?" Solas asked curiously.
"On the side of the vase there," Elyssa pointed beneath one of the brown flowers yet to stand, "above his signature, it says 'for Amy,'"
"That is interesting," Solas agreed, "perhaps he had feelings for a girl named Amy?"
"She must have really liked sunflowers then," Elyssa chuckled.
"I suppose she must have," Solas nodded, "what about you?" He tilted his head in curiosity at the Elyssa.
"Do I have feelings for a girl named Amy or do I like sunflowers?" She teased.
"Clever, Elyssa," Solas complimented with a chuckle, "I meant what type of flower do you prefer?"
"No one's ever asked me that before," Elyssa commented quietly, "so I've never really thought about it," They stood quietly for a moment each in their own state of shock. "I suppose I'd have to pick a poppy," she finally answered, "they're underappreciated but still so beautiful, full of life and color. They don't let the fact that hardly anyone notices them stop them from becoming something beautiful,"
"That's an interesting reason to like a particular flower," Solas chuckled, "but perfectly unique and exactly what I'd expect from one such as yourself,"
"Thank you," Elyssa said hesitantly, "I guess,"
"I assure you I meant it entirely as a compliment," Solas murmured sincerely.
"Oh, well then, thank you." Elyssa offered him a small smile. Solas returned it with a beam of his own. The strings of Elyssa's heart pulled at the beauty of Solas's smile. It was her guilty pleasure, Solas's smile. Something she held dear each time she saw it. Maybe she could draw it so she didn't have to wait so long to see it again? She would have to try her hand at it and see how it turned out.
They wandered to the gift shop where all the students, including Elyssa, browsed through the selection of souvenirs. Solas watched as Elyssa picked up several items, seemingly interested in them, only to put them down after a glance at the price tag. She kept going back to a particular key chain that was a duplicate of Van Gogh's Vase With Twelve Sunflowers. With a sad sigh, she put the object down and settled for a cheap bookmark of Starry Night. Solas watched her leave to sit on a nearby bench just outside of the gift shop. She took out her Poe book and began reading, waiting for the other students to get done making their purchases.
When Solas was entirely sure she was absorbed in her book, he made his way to the keychain Elyssa had discarded. He grabbed the keychain, as well as a small poppy pen modeled after one of Van Gogh's floral paintings. He purchased both gifts as well as a small gift bag to put both items in. With a glance at a nearby clock, Solas noticed that it was time to head back to the school. He had little trouble gathering all the students together and back onto the bus. It was late afternoon and the exciting day of a field trip had worn out many of the students. The bus was quiet as many of the passengers opted to use the trip back to take a short nap. Solas expected Elyssa to again read her book; instead, she settled with her head against the window. Slowly her eyelids drifted closed and her breathing steadied into the soft rhythm of sleep. She looked peaceful, less troubled as she slept soundly. He wondered once more what secrets she was hiding. What burdens was she bearing alone? Why was there a painful sadness always hidden in the confines of her jade eyes?
With steady hands, Solas placed the gift bag with both the keychain and pen into the satchel bag beside her. He knew not what possessed him to get the souvenirs for Elyssa. He just felt that she deserved that small kindness. He couldn't deny that he also enjoyed seeing her smile. She smiled so rarely, something he was determined to remedy. The bus rounded a turn, causing Elyssa's head to roll softly away from the window. Subconsciously, she readjusted, her head coming to barley rest on his shoulder. Solas looked at the unconscious girl now resting on his shoulder. Her features were peaceful and serene, something she didn't seem to have when awake. Smoothly, he moved Elyssa's bag to sit beside her feet and scooted closer so that her head may rest more comfortably on him. They would be at the school soon enough, but for now, Solas would let Elyssa enjoy this rare moment of peace.