A/N As always, thank you guys so much for continuing to read Unconditional. Please read, review, and most importantly enjoy. This chapter's song title is I Found by Amber Run. Honestly, the song is perfect for the chapter as they are both realizing they found a love they never should have had.

Solas sank onto the couch once he had closed the door behind Elyssa. She had told him so much, and opened up to him about so many terrible things. She had seemed so lost and alone as she explained her past to him. The way she spoke, the pain she tried so desperately to hide every day, rang clear in her voice, in her tears. Yet, what hurt Solas most of all was that Elyssa thought she was broken because of the things that had happened to her. How had she arrived at that ridiculous conclusion? Didn't she know how beautiful she was? How inspiring her compassion and spirit were to him? After everything she had been through, Elyssa deserved the best. Solas only wished that he could be the one to show her that. If he were being honest with himself, Solas wanted a lot more than that. He couldn't keep denying that he wanted her, all of her, in every way he shouldn't.

His desire was selfish, that much he was certain of. He had finally figured out the mystery behind Elyssa, the only thing he swore he wanted when this began in September. Yet, in his pursuit of the truth he found so much more than the answer to her mystery. He found a kind compassion he hadn't realized he needed in his life. He found a fiery spirit and courageous justice he had missed since the passing of Mythal. He had finally found someone his mother would have approved of, would have loved. But, he had found her too late.

Solas idly rubbed his wrist, following the mark he had long since committed to memory. He didn't need anymore reminder that he wasn't deserving of the love he so desperately craved. He didn't need anyone else to tell him that he couldn't be saved, even if he wanted to be. Andruil had made certain he understood no one else would ever want him. Not as damaged as he was. It had been easy to tell Elyssa it wasn't her fault, that she deserved better. But, he knew he would never be able to tell himself that. Elyssa hadn't chosen what happened to her. She hadn't chosen to turn her back on everyone that truly cared for her until it was too late to change anything. He had. Everything he went through with Andruil had been his choice. He had chosen that woman over everyone else, and now he must pay the price for it. What Andruil did, what he had been with her, would haunt him always.

His thoughts drifted back to Elyssa, as had become all too common with him, a sudden clarity ringing through. The way he felt about the things he had been through with Andruil, did she feel the same about what she had been subjected to? Was she, too, haunted by the ghost of a past she would never be able to forget? Did she say she was broken because, like him, she didn't feel worthy of being anything less? Solas chuckled darkly. How unlucky to finally find someone who could understand him but be so out of reach. Of course there were rules placed upon them preventing him from being happy. Rules made by the very types of people that broke them with such easy regularity. Andruil didn't play by the rules of society. The monsters that tormented Elyssa hadn't played by the rules. Yet, here she and Solas were victims of these rulebreakers while being hostages to the rules themselves. A burning heat flared inside Solas. He may not be deserving of her love, but he was going to be damned if he was going to let anyone else take away any chance he had to make her happy. He could make her happy for a time. Even though he knew it could never be permanent, he would love her until she found someone she could love the same, someone worthy of her. He could do that much for them both, rules be damned.

When Elyssa made it down the street to her house, she saw that her mother's car was gone. She couldn't help but be relieved, the last thing she wanted to deal with right now was her mother's temper. When she opened the front door she saw her stepfather in the living room watching tv, his arm still in the sling from his recent shoulder injury. "Elyna?" he called for her mother, turning to look at the door.

"No, it's Elyssa," she answered, though he had likely figured that out by now.

"Ah," he nodded, not questioning why she was getting home so late. He looked at her eyes, puffy from crying so much, in concern. "Are you okay?" he asked genuinely, "you look like you've been crying."

Elyssa nodded, mustering up as much of a comforting smile as she could. "I'm fine," she lied.

"Anders stand you up again?" he guessed, not believing her.

Elyssa sighed, was it really that common of an occurrence? "Yes," she answered, "I'll be fine though."

"I'm sorry, kiddo," he offered sympathetically.

"It's alright," she answered, making her way to the stairs.

"If it's any consolation I've always thought he was a piece of shit, ever since he met that Justice kid at least." Elyssa chuckled, her step father wasn't wrong, Anders had really changed since he met Justice a year ago.

"If only mom felt the same way," Elyssa responded, "maybe then she wouldn't be mad if I broke up with him."

Her stepfather sighed, "you know your mother just wants what's best for you. Even if she doesn't know how to show it sometimes." There was no point in rehashing this argument, so Elyssa let the subject drop. As kind as her stepfather was at times, he always defended and gave in to her mother, if for no other reason than to make his life easier. Elyssa didn't fault him for that, but she did wish he would take her side for once.

"I'm going to feed Lily and go to bed," Elyssa answered.

"Alright, good night," he dismissed her, turning his attention back to the television. Elyssa retreated up the stairs, pulling her tiger striped cat into a comforting embrace. She held onto the only real love and comfort she had in this house for a long minute before letting her down to feed her. Afterward, she changed for bed trying desperately to ignore the ache in her chest for Solas. It was stronger tonight than usual, almost unbearable. When had she latched on to Solas so wholeheartedly? When had he gone from her favorite teacher to her favorite person? When had her desire to be near him become so great that being just down the street from him had become unbearable? She had spent three weeks trying her best to give him peace from her. After all, he didn't deserve someone as fucked up as her clinging to him just because he was kind, compassionate, and all the things she wanted in her life.

It had been hell for her. She had finally had someone who had seemed willing to listen to her, that seemed to care about her. But she had cared about him too much to burden him like that. And then, in a moment of weakness, she had undone all the progress she worked so hard to make. She had kissed him like she had a right to claim him that way and then told him everything just to prove to him she was broken. What had been the point of those three agonizing weeks? Why had she let her desire to feel wanted and needed cloud her judgement? She huffed in exasperation. It didn't matter anymore, the damage had been done. Worse still, she couldn't bring herself to truly regret opening up to Solas. The warm kindness, the wholehearted compassion, the acceptance she had found with him, she couldn't regret it. She couldn't regret the way she felt about Solas. She knew she didn't stand a chance in hell, after all she was a lowly broken high school student yet to even reach adulthood. No, she didn't stand a chance, but that wouldn't stop her from loving him however she could. Until he found someone worthy of the love he had to offer, she would do her best to love him. Everything else be damned.