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Thank you again for being here, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
CHAPTER 6: A LONELY DESTINY
Anakin was on Naboo, under a clear sky, surrounded by the serenity of lakes and green hills. It was a splendid day, and the air was filled with joy. The entire village was celebrating a special reason for happiness: their beloved queen, Padmé, was about to marry a man everyone considered exceptional.
The young padawan watched Padmé, radiant in her wedding dress, approaching him with a calm and loving smile.
"I've waited so long for this moment, Ani. You can't imagine how happy I am."
They stood on the balcony of a beautiful temple, decorated with the loveliest flowers and pastel ribbons hanging in every corner.
"My heart is overflowing with joy for what's to come. There's no doubt that this will be the happiest day of my life."
Anakin returned her smile, thinking that this would also be the happiest day of his life. At last, he would marry the woman who had won his heart since he was a nine-year-old boy.
The ceremony music began, and Padmé hurried down the stairs as he walked beside her.
"I can't make my future husband wait any longer."
Together, they reached the temple's entrance, where Padmé would walk down the aisle toward the man who awaited her.
"Isn't Vexar Lyon a wonderful man, Ani?"
In that moment, the young padawan felt a knot form in his stomach, and reality hit him with painful clarity.
He was there, beside her, not as the man she loved, but as her friend, her confidant.
What hurt the most was how she spoke to him with tenderness and the same trust she'd always shown him, but not as Anakin, the love of her life, only as the friend who would stand by her on this special day.
"Ani, I want you by my side today, more than anyone. You don't know how happy I am that you're here with me."
His heart beat painfully in his chest, on the verge of breaking. Anakin tried to smile, tried to be the friend she needed, but her words hit him like a storm.
"I feel so much love for him. He completes me, Ani. He's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with."
Each word was a blow. Anakin tried to stay strong, but the vision of her loving someone else, the thought of being the silent witness to Padmé's happiness with another man, tore him apart.
The landscape around him seemed to fade, but Padmé's words continued to echo in his ears, repeating over and over.
"He completes me… I love him… he's my future."
He woke up with a start, breathing heavily, his heart pounding against his chest. Sweat beaded on his forehead as his hands clutched the earth of the temple garden, bringing him back to reality at the Jedi Temple.
The lack of sleep from the previous night, exhaustion from working in the garden, the heat of Coruscant, and the soft hum of nature around him had slowly caught up with him.
After calming down a bit, he realized he was alone, surrounded by plants and stones. But the pain from the dream continued to throb within him. The boy closed his eyes again, trying to calm down, but images of Padmé with another man were still etched in his mind, tormenting him.
The dream had been so real, so heartbreaking, and although it hadn't happened in reality, he felt as if he had already lost what he loved most.
He had finished his work for the day and couldn't wait to retreat and rest. He stood up, feeling heavy, his body weary. The previous night, he had tried, wanted to convince himself, that his love for Padmé was a distraction, something that would pull him away from the Jedi path. But every time he closed his eyes, he could only see her, her face, her smile, her warmth.
He sighed as he put away his tools, moving mechanically. He knew he still had a few days left in the temple, and that seemed unbearable.
He had always been fascinated by missions: they gave him a purpose, a chance to act and be useful. The more challenging they were, the greater the stress, but each victory was more rewarding; every success tasted sweeter than the last. He felt he learned more in action than in the temple, and every time a new mission arose, a spark of life ignited within him.
But the theory classes… he despised them. He felt trapped, as if he were wasting time while his mind wandered far away.
He remembered his past: he thought of the late Qui-Gon, his mother, and the complications that still bound her as Watto's slave. Five years later, Anakin still hadn't been able to fulfill his promise to free her. Becoming a Jedi hadn't been as easy as he'd always dreamed; the duties of a padawan required him to abandon his attachments, no matter how painful it was.
Usually, his mind drifted to Padmé. She was his refuge, his oasis in the desert, his shelter in the storm. But now, the thought of her felt so painful, so suffocating and agonizing, that he didn't want to think about her, although it was impossible for him to avoid it.
Lost in deep sorrow, he felt a comforting presence around him: his master. For the past five years, Obi-Wan had been like a father, always there, guiding him, advising him, training him.
Anakin couldn't help but think how much he would disappoint Obi-Wan if he ever knew what he felt for Padmé. Guilt weighed heavily on his shoulders, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he was failing in some way.
With his spirits low, Anakin approached his master, hoping that, with a little luck, he might announce a new mission that would allow him to escape the sadness surrounding him.
"This punishment is an opportunity to reflect, Anakin. Don't you think?"
"Oh, I've reflected, Master. On how difficult it is for me to focus on my Jedi life, thanks to the interference of the other padawans. Surely, they're envious of my superior abilities."
"It seems being surrounded by plants and nature has made you very humble, young padawan."
"It's the truth, Master. That's why they never miss a chance to bother me; they know I'm better than them in many aspects, despite having much less training."
"That's because you have a great master."
"It seems humility is a lesson I learned from you."
"Possibly."
Both of them shared a smile, revealing the special bond they shared, one that could make Anakin feel better, no matter the worries haunting him.
"But seriously, Anakin, you shouldn't use this moment of peace to think about your classmates or how they treat you. Instead, you should reflect on yourself. That is the key to what it means to be a Jedi."
"It seems the council came up with something clever this time. I suppose they got tired of confining me to the meditation chambers or assigning me as a library assistant without getting the results they expected."
"Those punishments were for doing things your way during missions. But this is the first time you're being disciplined for disrespecting your teacher and classmates. Although it's not the first time you've been under the Council's scrutiny for how you manage your emotions during class with your classmates."
"Classmates? I don't consider them my peers, Master. But tell me, when will they be reprimanded or punished for disrespecting me? They spend their time provoking me, testing how far they can push me." "Unfortunately, your classmates cover for each other and evade all responsibility."
"And they call that being Jedi? I can't believe the poor future that awaits the Order."
"They too will grow, mature, and recognize their mistakes... just as you will."
"But what will happen in the meantime? Will they make me explode in every class we have together? Will they wear down my Jedi vocation until they get bored?"
"No, only until you decide you're not going to let their provocations affect you."
The Jedi master observed his padawan in silence, noting the mix of anger and unease on his apprentice's face. For a moment, Obi-Wan seemed to weigh the option of giving him a lesson in patience or simply offering comfort. Finally, he sighed and placed a hand on Anakin's shoulder.
"Anakin, I know this frustrates you. But you must learn to control your emotions if you want to keep moving forward. Remember, part of your training is to find balance in the midst of chaos."
Anakin looked away, biting his lip impatiently.
"Please, Master. Tell me we have a mission very soon."
"I didn't think you'd need more action, Anakin, after deciding to enter the Temple last night by climbing the walls instead of using the door."
The young padawan tensed. He had hoped to avoid this conversation. His gaze immediately avoided his master's as he tried to come up with a convincing response.
But before he could say anything, Obi-Wan continued.
"You don't need to tell me where you were. But you know well you should have sought me out and returned much earlier. Your assignment required you, and by disappearing, you not only broke the rules but also failed in your responsibility."
The boy opened his mouth to try to justify himself, but the words wouldn't come easily.
Obi-Wan observed his padawan with a mixture of patience and concern, as if waiting for Anakin to take the first step and confess what was truly going on.
Finally, the young man spoke.
"It wasn't irresponsibility, Master. It wasn't that. I just needed... to clear my head."
Obi-Wan nodded, understanding but not relenting.
"Clear your head, I understand. But the way you avoided me, and the significant disturbance in the Force moments after you returned to the Temple, make me think you're hiding something very delicate."
Distressed, Anakin wanted to respond, but Obi-Wan silenced him by raising his hand.
"You don't have to explain anything if you're not ready. But, Anakin, this can't go on. Look at where handling things this way has led you: now you're working in the garden, punished for disrespecting your peers. Outbursts like this morning's are not worthy of a Jedi. I expected more from you, Anakin."
Anakin clenched his fists. The suggestion from his master that he'd been a disappointment was painful to hear.
"I really tried to ignore them, Master, I swear. But they kept saying hurtful things about me, things that kept getting worse. They just want to bother me, to make me feel like I'm not what everyone expects. Like The Chosen One is a failure."
Obi-Wan frowned upon hearing the words Chosen One, and a heavy silence fell between them. They both felt the weight of that title, one that had haunted Anakin since he was a child. Obi-Wan took a deep breath and spoke in a low voice.
"Being The Chosen One doesn't mean being perfect, Anakin. But it does mean that every action you take will have a bigger impact than you imagine. That, however, isn't an excuse to let pride or anger control you."
Anakin lowered his gaze, feeling trapped between his duty as a Jedi and the emotions increasingly taking hold of him.
"It feels like they're always judging me, and I don't know how to meet all those expectations."
Obi-Wan looked at him intently, knowing that feeling all too well, but also aware that it was something Anakin would have to overcome.
"You're not alone in this, Anakin. No one says it's easy, but that's why we're here, as masters and apprentices. If you feel isolated, come to me. You don't have to carry this alone."
And though Anakin nodded, the internal conflict still burned within him, stronger than ever.
He felt there were parts of himself he could never share, not even with his master. The mention of being the Chosen One only reminded him of how far he was from being the Jedi everyone expected. And the hardest part was that instead of feeling he could rise above it, his love for Padmé only deepened those doubts.
Seeing that he wouldn't get a full confession from his padawan, Obi-Wan decided to change the subject.
"After all that work, you must be hungry. Go to the dining hall; I'll catch up in a moment."
Anakin looked up, grateful for the reprieve.
"All right, Master. I think a bit of food will help clear my mind."
The boy headed to the dining hall, the heavy burden of his thoughts still present. As he walked down the Temple halls, the sound of his footsteps echoed in the stillness. The image of Padmé wouldn't leave him; her smile usually brightened his mind and heart, but now it only brought a wave of insecurities.
The boy entered the dining hall, still feeling the weight of the disturbing dream on his mind. The fatigue and emotional weariness hadn't left him, and as he passed through the doors of the large hall, he saw the other padawans gathered at a table, talking and laughing among themselves. They always seemed so comfortable in each other's company, as if they were a close-knit group to which he never belonged.
He didn't approach. He didn't because he knew what would happen. Ever since he arrived at the Temple, he had always been different. Not just because he was The Chosen One, but also because of his past. A freed slave, a boy with a story different from everyone else's. He headed to his usual spot, a table set apart, where he tended to sit alone. Only Obi-Wan ever joined him.
The bitter memories of how some of the other padawans had treated him began to resurface in his mind. The cutting remarks, the scornful looks every time he made a mistake.
"So, The Chosen One can't even follow a simple instruction?"
"Look, here comes the Council's star."
But the worst weren't those comments about his destiny as The Chosen One. They were the attacks on his past, the things that hurt him deeply, like when they asked with a mocking smile,
"What does it feel like to be a slave, Skywalker? Isn't it strange to be a Jedi now?"
"How could you leave your mother enslaved? Don't you care?"
Anakin felt a knot of anger in his stomach remembering those moments. Those attacks on his life on Tatooine hurt him more than he could ever admit.
"Is it true you have no father? Doesn't that make you a freak?"
"A boy without a father, created by… who? The Force? Really?"
Each word had been a dagger, a reminder of everything he had left behind and what set him apart from the other padawans. The anger started to grow in his chest, darkening his thoughts. No matter how hard he tried to focus on his Jedi training, those words remained, like a thorn buried deep within him.
As he waited for his food, his hands clenched into fists on the table. He couldn't understand how they could be so cruel, so insensitive to what he had lived through. They didn't understand. They didn't know what it meant to be torn from his home, from his mother, to become a Jedi. The worst part was that, despite all the discipline he tried to practice, despite years of training, he still felt that inner fire, that fury that made him want to shout, or punch something, or do something to make all the pain go away.
Anakin took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He knew he couldn't let himself be consumed by anger, that wasn't the path of a Jedi. But in moments like this, that path seemed so difficult. Too difficult.
He tried to slow his breathing, closing his eyes for a moment as he sat alone at his table. He could feel the stares of some of the padawans on him, though they pretended to be engrossed in their own conversation. The dining hall was full of noise, but for him, everything felt distant, as if he were trapped in his own world of dark thoughts and turbulent emotions.
Oh, how he wished he could think of Padmé and find that peace her beautiful memory used to bring him. But now he felt completely alone in his life as a Jedi, without Padmé, whose memory now filled his existence with suffering and jealousy. Every time he tried to remember his mother, he only ended up tormenting himself. Everything had become more complicated; he had never imagined that letting go of his feelings for Padmé, of the love he'd always felt for her, would be so painful and difficult.
The food arrived, and he began eating slowly, though he didn't have much appetite. The echo of his companions' cruel words continued to haunt him.
In the midst of his struggle to remain calm, he saw Obi-Wan entering the dining hall. His master located him quickly and walked toward his table with a calm yet attentive expression. There was no need for words. Obi-Wan could always sense when something was disturbing his padawan.
He sat across from him, observing Anakin with that air of patience he always displayed, but also with a slight concern. Anakin didn't look up right away, focusing on his food.
Trying to give his padawan something positive to appreciate about the Temple, the Jedi master commented:
"The food here is much better than on missions, wouldn't you agree? Sometimes, we don't even find the time to eat."
"I'd rather go hungry than stay in this place. The atmosphere is so oppressive I feel like I'm surrounded by enemies."
"Well, thank you."
"I'm not talking about you, Master. And you know that. I'm referring to the other padawans."
"Anakin, you can't let the words of others affect you so much. You know who you are and what you're capable of. What they think can't change that."
Anakin pressed his lips together, trying to control the emotions threatening to overflow. He knew his master was right, but it wasn't that simple. Not when every comment felt like a fresh wound.
"They don't understand. They don't know what I've been through. They don't know anything about me, about my mother, about…"
He stopped before mentioning Padmé, swallowing the lump in his throat.
Obi-Wan looked at him in silence for a few moments, processing what his padawan had just said. There was so much Anakin still hadn't shared, so much he kept inside, and that was what concerned Obi-Wan the most.
"That's true, they don't understand. But you're not here to prove anything to them, Anakin. You're here to learn, to become the Jedi you can be. Each of these challenges you face, including the words of your peers, is an opportunity to grow."
Anakin dropped his fork, frustrated. It wasn't just the disdain of the other padawans that affected him. It was everything. The pressure of being the Chosen One, his inner conflict with Padmé, the expectations everyone had of him. He felt like he was being pulled in all directions, with no space to breathe.
"Sometimes I feel like I can't do it. All of this… being The Chosen One, the classes, the training..."
"Anakin, what you're feeling is natural, but you must find a way to manage it. Attachment, fear, anger... all those feelings can lead you astray. And you know I can't tell you to ignore what you feel, but I can tell you that you must find balance."
The young man looked away again, guilt weighing on him. He knew his master was right, but he also knew that his love for Padmé was something he couldn't just bury or ignore. And with each passing day, he felt he was drifting further from the ideal the Jedi wanted him to follow.
"I know, Master. I'll try."
But it wasn't true, and he knew it.
"The next mission that comes up, sign up, Master, so we can leave here, please."
"You always love being in action so much that when we finally have a bit of peace, you can't handle it well."
"There's no peace here for me, Master. Maybe there is for you, but I… feel like I don't belong here, and every day, the other padawans make sure to remind me of it."
"Anakin, you are a Jedi, and all Jedi belong here. From the moment Qui-Gon and I brought you here, the Temple became your home."
"I don't feel like it's my home, Master. It feels like a prison I want to escape from at all costs."
"Anakin, you don't know how much I wish you could feel comfortable in your life as a Jedi."
"So you can fulfill your promise to Qui-Gon?"
"No, Anakin. What I'm telling you comes from a desire to see you grow and find your place in this world. The promise I made to Qui-Gon is important, but my greatest commitment is to you. I want you to discover who you truly are, beyond the expectations and pressures you feel."
He looked into Anakin's eyes, hoping he'd understand the sincerity in his words.
"Qui-Gon believed in you because he saw in you a potential few can understand. But that doesn't mean you have to become something you're not. You must find your own path, and while I have the responsibility to guide you, I also trust your ability to make decisions for yourself."
Obi-Wan smiled kindly, attempting to ease the tension he sensed in his apprentice, and continued.
"What I want most is for you to find peace in your life as a Jedi, to learn to reconcile your dreams with reality. Not everything I tell you is to fulfill a promise; it's because I believe in you and the future you can build."
"I didn't choose this path only to feel like a stranger in my own life. I feel that my destiny is something greater, something I can't reach from here."
"Then perhaps you should seek that greatness within yourself, rather than trying to find it outside. You must trust that every experience, even the difficult ones, is shaping you."
Anakin looked at him, a glimmer of understanding lighting up his face, though the restlessness still lingered.
"And what if it's shaping me into something I don't want to be? The Council has plans for me, and sometimes I feel like they see me as a weapon, not as a person."
"Jedi are meant to be peacekeepers, not warriors. But your courage and your passion are what set you apart, Anakin. You must find balance. We all have doubts at some point in our lives. The key is to learn how to handle them. The path of the Jedi is not easy, but it's the one you've chosen."
The conversation paused when a murmur in the room caught their attention. The other padawans were nearby, exchanging glances and whispers. Anakin felt the weight of their gaze, as if each word he'd shared with Obi-Wan became an echo resonating in their minds.
"Master, I can't stay in the Temple. I need to go out and face who I really am, to prove that I can be more than what they expect of me. Only out there, on missions, defeating enemies and achieving victories, can I find my true destiny and bring greatness to the Jedi Order. Here, in this place, I only feel doubts about myself… where I have never been valued or important to anyone."
Obi-Wan frowned, concerned.
"Anakin, going out without a clear purpose could be dangerous. The Force guides you, but you must also be wise in your decisions. Please, promise me you won't act impulsively. The life of a Jedi is not just about action; it also involves reflection."
Though still filled with doubt, the young padawan reflected on his master's words. He knew and understood that Obi-Wan was completely right, but on difficult days he always found comfort in the memory of Padmé, in the love he felt for her. Now, however, that memory seemed like poison to his soul. He felt he could no longer bear his companions' scorn nor the Jedi Council's demands.
He felt more lost every day, as if floating without direction in the vast universe, without a safe place to find peace... Without the comfort of Padmé, for the first time he felt devoid of love, empty, alone.
Despite everything, he understood he had to do what Obi-Wan, the Council, and the entire Jedi Order expected of him. With effort, he replied:
"I promise, Master. I'll seek balance, peace, and everything necessary to concentrate on my inner self."
Although his tone lacked the sincerity his words attempted to convey, it was enough for Obi-Wan, who gave him a slight smile and placed a firm hand on his shoulder, saying:
"You make me proud, Anakin. You're stronger than you realize, and not just in the Force. You've faced challenges others can't even imagine, and yet, here you are. Carrying the dreams and expectations of so many isn't easy, but you do it with admirable courage."
Obi-Wan paused, his voice softer, almost paternal.
"I know it's a lonely path sometimes, and my words can't take away that weight. But I want you to know that, no matter what, you can always count on me. What I feel for you goes beyond being just your master; you're like a brother to me, Anakin. And seeing how hard you try to be better… is one of the things that makes me proudest in this universe."
These words brought a lump to Anakin's throat. He had never heard Obi-Wan express such warmth toward him, and at that moment he realized there was someone who truly believed in him. Although he could no longer take refuge in Padmé's love, he found relief in the pride Obi-Wan felt for him.
"Don't worry, Padawan."
Added Obi-Wan, releasing his shoulder and returning to his usual tone.
"As soon as there's a suitable mission for us, I'll take it."
"Thank you, Master… for everything."
Obi-Wan nodded, though he knew Anakin's inner conflict ran much deeper. For years, he had sensed the internal battle his padawan tried to hide. And while he decided not to press further at that moment, he understood that Anakin's challenges were far from over.
For now, the important thing was that Anakin knew he wasn't alone, that his master would always be there to guide him. But he also knew that his padawan's future, with all his potential and warring emotions, would be a constant struggle. A struggle that, sooner or later, Anakin would have to face fully.
Master and apprentice continued their meal in silence. Anakin's mind buzzed with new possibilities. He knew the path ahead wouldn't be easy, but he was determined to discover who he truly was, free from the shadows of expectations that weighed upon him.
Thank you for joining me for another chapter!
I hope you're enjoying the story. We've seen Anakin struggle not only with his own emotions but also with the constant rejection and teasing from his peers. That loneliness he feels in the Temple, that isolation from not being able to trust those who should be his equals, is something that really weighs on him and feeds his doubts and fears.
Still, the bond he shares with Obi-Wan is his anchor in the midst of all this turmoil. Knowing that his master sees him as a brother, someone he can trust without hesitation, means a lot to Anakin, especially when he feels lost. I'm glad I can share this side of their relationship, which is so important in his life and journey as a Jedi.
I hope you're enjoying these moments between them and Anakin's inner struggles as much as I enjoy writing them.
I'd love to hear your thoughts, so please feel free to leave your reviews.
See you in the next chapter as we continue exploring this story together!