Me and SpongeBob find ourselves in a classroom at boating school.

Me: So…you never told me your last name…

SpongeBob: SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants.

Me: Also, why do they call you sponge?

SpongeBob: I think it's pretty obvious: it's because I'm a sea sponge.

Me: (snickers) A sea sponge? Come on. Be real now. A sponge is something you use to clean the sink, not a sea animal.

SpongeBob: Actually, sponges you use to clean sinks are modeled after sea sponges.

Me: Oh. Didn't know that…anyway, what exactly is boating school?

SpongeBob: It's a school where you learn how to drive boats!

Me: Oh! I've gone to a similar school, but you learn to drive cars instead of boats.

Suddenly, the teacher enters the room. This is Mrs. Puff.

Mrs. Puff: Okay class, my name is Mrs. Puff. The only reason I'm saying that is because we have a new student: Jonathan. Would you like to stand up and introduce yourself?

Reluctantly, I stand up, and look all around the room.

Me: Uh…uhhh…..uhhhhhhhh….

Mrs. Puff looks at me awkwardly.

Me: 24.

The entire class bursts out into laughter.

Mrs. Puff: (sighs) Anyway class, today we have our lesson on breaking.

While the teacher is rambling on with her lesson, SpongeBob talks to me.

SpongeBob: Hey Jonathan, I thought of something funnier than 24…

Me: Let's hear it!

SpongeBob: 25.

We then proceed to laugh our asses off, but the teacher looks at us angrily.

Mrs. Puff: You two, shut up! I'm trying to get on with the lesson.

Me: Sorry.

Mrs. Puff nods, and gets back to the lesson.

Mrs. Puff: Now class, the break is the pedal you use to make your boat stop. You use it when you come to a red light, a stop sign, and other instances like that. Now that we've covered our final lesson, we can finally move onto our official boating test. Up first is SpongeBob…for the 17th time.

SpongeBob: Yes! I get to take my boating test again! Wanna come with me, Jonathan?

Me: Hell yeah!

Me, SpongeBob, and Mrs. Puff are inside of a boat.

Mrs. Puff: Now, SpongeBob, what is the first thing you do when you get into a boat?

SpongeBob: Uh, you, uh…floor it!

Me: No! You put your seatbelt on, check your mirrors, check the windows, and then you start driving.

Mrs. Puff: That is correct, Jonathan! I think you'll be the next to take your boating test!

SpongeBob puts his seatbelt on, and checks his mirrors.

Mrs. Puff: Good job. Now, I want you to park in between those cones over there. (she points)

SpongeBob: Sure thing!

SpongeBob puts the car into drive, and accelerates. He absolutely knocks down each and every cone.

Mrs. Puff: Oh my god! You hit every single cone!

Me: That's quite possibly the worst "parking" I've ever seen…

SpongeBob: Yeah, well, it's only the first test. What's next?

Mrs. Puff: Your next test is to turn right without hitting any of those cones.

SpongeBob: Okay!

SpongeBob turns right, and hits every single one of the cones…again.

Me: Are you seriously that incapable of NOT hitting cones?

Mrs. Puff: I seriously think you hold a vendetta against cones for some reason.

SpongeBob: Next part of the test?

Mrs. Puff: Stopping at a stop sign.

SpongeBob: That should be easy!

SpongeBob completely blows through the stop sign, taking it down with his boat.

Me: Dude, you need to learn to fucking drive. Do you even understand the words of your instructor?

Mrs. Puff: (sighs) Next part of the test…

Montage: SpongeBob hitting other cars, running over stop lights, and driving his car over a cliff.

Me: I have never seen such a horrible driver in all my life…

Mrs. Puff: (sighs) Welp…you failed for the 1,258,057th time. I'll see you next year.

Me and SpongeBob hang out at his pineapple house.

Me: Dude, you absolutely sold at driving today.

SpongeBob: Well, I've never been good at driving, I think I'm just naturally bad.

Me: "Bad" is an understatement…that driving was absolutely SHIT!

SpongeBob: Well, there's always next year…