A/N

I would very belatedly sincerely thank Okulaja, Bamadude, Mayor of Ninjago City, and Warriorcreed for their reviews.

I have no good reason why I neglected this and my other story for so long. But I do plan to finish.

I admit I am a little nervous about Leonard in therapy. I only visited a therapist once and it was just one session. I want to apologize now if I offend anyone in how I handle Leonard's sessions.

I do not own Big Bang Theory or any of the related characters. The Big Bang Theory series was created and owned by Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady. All rights of Big Bang Theory belong to them. This story is a work of fanfiction and is meant for entertainment only. I am not making profit from this story.

Doctor Lora Davis watched as her new patient entered. Although she knew better than anyone she should never reach any conclusions from first impressions but she could be as guilty as anyone else.

One thing was apparent, he was very nervous. It was obvious he was new to this. She also sensed he wasn't positive that he should be there.

She smiled, "Good morning. It's Doctor Leonard Hofstadter, isn't it?"

"Yes."

I am Doctor Lora Davis." She hesitated, "Is it all right if I call you Leonard?"

"Yes, Doctor."

She smiled, "Why don't you call me Lora?"

She went on, "Why don't you get comfortable?"

Leonard looked at the couch, "Should I lie down?"

Lora smiled, "Only if you feel more comfortable that way. Or you can just sit down."

After Leonard sat down, she continued, "Can I get you something to drink?"

"I could use some water."

Lora hit a button on her desk, "Selma, could you bring us each a water?"

When Selma had brought them each a bottle and Leonard took a drink, Lora smiled, "Why don't we learn a little about you. Are you a medical doctor?"

"No, I have a PhD in Physics."

"Have you always lived in New Jersey?"

"I was born here and got my PhD from Princeton, but then I move to Pasadena for six years and worked at Caltech."

"How about your family?"

"I have a brother Michael and a sister Hayley." He took a deep breath, "My parents were divorced and my Father works in Africa."

He took a long pause, gathering himself, "My mother died about a month ago."

"I am sorry to hear that, had she been ill?"

"No, she had a heart attack, we were all surprised and shocked."

Lora thought about what he was saying. She decided it was time to move forward. Acting on a hunch, she asked, "Was your moving back home have something to do with why you are here?"

Leonard was caught off guard by the sudden change. "Yes."

"Why don't you tell me about it?"

Leonard took a big gulp of water as he tried to gather himself.

Taking a deep breath, "When I was in California my roommate was Doctor Sheldon Cooper who also worked at Caltech.

He was highly intelligent but was also, I don't know quite, how to say it, a little different."

Lora interrupted, "Could you elaborate a little."

"He hated to be touched because he suffered from Germaphobia. He was very awkward in social situations. He could be obnoxious and condescending, feeling he was smarter than everyone else." Leonard managed a smile, "Which, to be honest, he usually was."

He went on, "But he also could be fun to be with and I considered him my best friend." He sighed, "I am a little damaged too."

Lora was tempted to pursue that, but decided to let him continue.

"About five years ago, a woman moved in across the hall from us. She was beautiful and I was attracted to her from the first time I saw her. To both Sheldon's and my surprise, she became our friend. The more I knew her, the more I grew to know I loved her."

He paused and regathered his courage, "Then, I realized she was in love with Sheldon."

Lora broke in, "How did that make you feel?"

"I was stunned. To be frank, I never thought of Sheldon being interested in anyone or anyone being interested in him." He paused, "I was also angry and felt betrayed."

He took a sip from his bottle. "Of course, I had no real justification for those feelings, she had never indicated she had romantic feelings for me."

As he hesitated and took another sip, Lora wondered how to proceed. Finally she said, "So, Leonard, why did you arrange to see me today?"

Leonard took a deep breath, "Four years ago, when I was driving Sheldon and me to work, we were in a car accident." He sighed again and looked sadly at her, "Sheldon was killed."

Lora sat back. Seeing he wasn't going to continue, "How did the accident happen?" She continued quietly, "Was it your fault?"

Leonard looked down and she began to wonder if he was going to answer. She was about to say something when he continued speaking so quietly she had to lean in to hear him, "The other driver went through a red light."

Lora sat back, not sure how to continue. It was obvious she was not getting the whole story. "Leonard, you said this happened four years ago, why is it you are coming to me now. Has something happened recently that has to do with what happened back then?"

Leonard sighed internally; he was beginning to wonder if this was a good idea. But then he remembered what he had said to Penny and knew he needed to do what he could to make this right.

He looked up at Lora, "When I heard in the hospital that Sheldon was dead, one of my first thoughts was that Penny was now free."

Lora was stunned, this was not what she had expected. She gathered her thoughts, was this what this was all about? It didn't seem like that could be the whole story. She finally said, "Go on."

"I felt guilty. My best friend was dead and my first thought was that Penny was now available again. There was also the fact that I was usually very careful about proceeding after the light changed; I was not that morning."

He hesitated and went on, "I realized that I was still in love with Penny. That I only thought I had accepted her choosing Sheldon and that I was satisfied with just being their friend but I now I knew I had still felt betrayed."

Lora tried to absorb all that she was hearing. She was beginning to see what had bothered him but knew that was still something more.

"So, you felt guilty about what had happened to Sheldon? But didn't you realize that the accident was not your fault? That your feelings for Penny had nothing to do with what happened?"

She hesitated, "Were you glad Sheldon was dead?"

Leonard stared at her. He had never really thought of it that way. He had just known that his first thought was that Penny was free. He looked at her, "No, No. I just felt guilty that I would actually think about Penny at a time like that." He grew quiet, "Sheldon was my first real friend."

He continued, "I still miss him."

Lora sat back again gathering her thoughts. "Now, Leonard, I want you to tell me exactly what happened next and why you have come to me after all this time?"

He took a deep breath and told her how he had shut himself off from Penny and his friends. How he had finally needed to get away and moved home. He told her about his relationship with his mother and how he was surprised how supportive she had been. How her death brought back the guilt, how Penny had come to him and what they had discussed.

When he fell back feeling exhausted, Lora felt a little overwhelmed. She sat quietly, gathering her thoughts.

Finally, she looked at him, "Well, that is a lot to absorb." She looked up at the clock, "Our time is up for today. I want to see you again this week." She looked at her computer, "Can you come in this Thursday, say 10:00?"

Leonard nodded weakly. He was completely drained, but found he felt better just getting it all out there.

She continued, "I want you to know that I appreciate your being so honest with me." She hesitated and then reached out and touched his arm, "I will do all I can to help you move forward."

She stood up, "I will see you on Thursday."

Penny's plane landed on time in Omaha. She had decided to rent a car and was soon on her way to her family's farm. As she drove, she realized that this had been a good idea. She needed to get away and do some serious thinking. She also knew she needed to talk to her sister and mother. She needed their perspective.

When she arrived at the farm and exited her car, she was met by her parents. After a quick hug, her father grabbed her bag as Penny embraced her mother. Susan was a little surprised by the length of the hug.

After she had unpacked in her old room she joined her parents at the kitchen table. After she had been fortified with a cup of coffee, Wyatt spoke up, "We just want to say how glad you decided to spend some time with us." He paused, "We also want to say how proud we are of you. You have made your dream come true."

Penny smiled, "Thank you, guys. You have always been there for me."

Susan spoke up, "We will be happy with whatever you want to do. Do you have anything you would especially like to do while you're here?"

Penny paused and took a sip of her coffee, "I would like to discuss something with you and Lisa. I'd like to call her and see if she could come over."

Susan smiled, "As it turns out we are way ahead of you. Lisa has been excited about seeing you since she heard you were coming. We told her you would want to get settled today but she will be here tomorrow."

Penny smiled, "It will be great to see her." She sighed, "I am kind of tired. I think I'll go up to my room."

After they exchanged goodnights, Susan and Wyatt sat back down.

Wyatt spoke up, "Is it my imagination, or do you sense that something is bothering her?"

Susan smiled, "I was thinking the same." She finished her coffee, "Well, if there is something hopefully we will find out tomorrow."

The next morning Penny got up early and went for a ride. Horse riding had always been an escape for her and after eating breakfast she looked forward to seeing Lisa. She felt she was ready to confront her feelings for Leonard. Thinking of him made him wonder how his therapy was going.

After Penny and Lisa had exchanged a long hug, they and Susan again were at the kitchen table with the obligatory cups of coffee.

With the others looking expectantly at her, Penny took a deep breath, "Although I did want to see everyone, I also had an ulterior motive in coming home. There is something I need your help with."

Susan and Lisa exchange a knowing look, "We are glad you thought of us. We hope we can help with whatever is bothering you."

Penny took a big gulp of her coffee, gathered her thoughts and began, "Do you guys remember me talking about Leonard Hofstadter?"

Susan and Lisa looked at each other, what was this about? Finally, Susan spoke up, "Wasn't he Sheldon's friend who moved away after Sheldon died?"

Lisa broke in, "Didn't you say something at the time that he felt guilty for Sheldon's death?"

"Yes, and that is what I want to talk to you about."

As Susan and Lisa listened intently, Penny explained about Leonard's sister coming to visit her. She told about her talk with them and then her first talk with Leonard.

Susan reached out and covered Penny's hand, "That must have been hard for you to hear. It is a shame he took that all upon himself."

Lisa broke in, "How did you feel about what he said knowing that he had harbored those feelings for you?"

Penny sighed, "It made me wonder if I had ever made him believe I felt that way about him. Should I have realized how he felt about me and Sheldon?"

Susan looked at Lisa, "Did you ever feel anything for him?"

Penny sighed, "No. I thought he was okay with us just being friends."

Susan looked at Lisa again, "Penny, I see why this troubled you, but I frankly don't see why you wanted to discuss this with us. Is there something more?"

Penny took a deep breath, "A couple days later, Leonard came to my hotel room. When I opened the door, he said he loved me."