Well, well, well... this is the end, guys... it's come in 2 parts, because it was too long for just one chapter. I hope sincerely you've enjoyed reading this story. I am going to be now working on New York Evening for a little while. Please leave me some feedback and tell me if you've enjoyed this one as much as I've enjoyed writing a little semi A/U fan fic and thank you all so much for reading! Lots of love to you all.
Olivia, holding Lexi, balancing her on her hip, pressing her finger to her mouth to remind the toddler to be quiet, held open the door for Noah as he tip-toed in to the darkened bedroom with a stack of pancakes he made with Georgie's help. It held a single candle in the middle. "Ready?" She whispered to her son, letting the door close behind him as the candle lit the room.
Noah nodded with a smile.
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday toyou…" Noah sat down on the edge of the bed as Olivia set Lexi down right beside him. She crawled over to Trevor climbed over him as her fiancé's eyes began to open. He glanced around, getting his bearings, reaching out to Lexi to grab her so she didn't fall off the bed. He realised Noah and Olivia were sitting on the bed with a cake or something that smelled very good.
He began to chuckle deeply. "Oh my loves…" he remarked.
"Happy birthday dear Dad… happy birthday to you," Noah and Liv sang.
"Awww… this is amazing," he remarked. He slowly eased himself up and reached for the lamp.
"Make a wish," Noah urged him, "these are the birthday pancakes Grandma and I made for you."
"Thank you, Sunshine," Trevor told him with great appreciation. "Okay… I'm making a wish…" he smiled and blew out the single candle.
"What did you wish for?" Olivia asked for.
"Mom, you can't ask that, it won't come true…"
"I don't believe that," Trevor replied, "I wished for the health and happiness of all of our friends and family."
Trevor took the pancakes and turned to Lexi. "Did you help make Daddy's pancakes too?"
Lexi nodded enthusiastically even though they knew it wasn't true. Trevor laughed and gave her a kiss on the cheek as he put them on the nightstand for a second.
"Happy birthday Dad, I hope you have a good day today. I love you and I love that we get to spend today with you."
"Come here, Sunshine," he patted the spot beside him and Olivia moved in closer as well. "I love you guys so much and being a Dad to the three of you kids and fiancé to your Mom makes me the happiest and luckiest man in the world…"
He gave them both a hug and a kiss and cuddled Lexi close. "Where's my little man?," he wondered.
"He's still sleeping, he got up early for a little feed and went back to sleep again," Olivia informed him.
"I'm going to get Dad's gifts," Noah told his Mom meaningfully. She smiled at her son. "Lexi would you like to come with me to get Daddy his birthday gifts?"
Lexi nodded excitedly.
"Aww gifts as well?! I thought you guys being here with me was a gift."
"Well, you're extra lucky today," Noah shot back cheekily. He slid off the bed and picked up Lexi. "And we'll get you a coffee too."
"Oh, you're the best," Trevor replied with a smile.
Once Noah and Lexi were gone Olivia grinned at him. "Hey listen, Noah has a really special gift for you and we're both a little excited about it… I'm really hopeful that you will be too."
"I'm certain I will be. I can't imagine why something he gives me wouldn't be appreciated," Trevor replied, eyeing off Olivia as she got closer and straddled his thighs, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Happy birthday my greatest love," she told him, pressing her lips against his, passionately kissing him, letting his mouth rest against hers for a long beat. "I love you," she told him in a whisper, kissing him again, feeling his arms around her waist.
"I love you too…" he said the words against her lips, "you're the best."
"I have a few gifts for you today, the last one I think we'll have to save for when we're a little drunk and reckless," she winked, kissing him again.
"Ooooft, ok let's do shots now?," he joked as he leaned forward, pulling her body against his bare chest. "We should cuddle like this more, I like being this close to you," he told her bluntly, kissing her lips over and over and over, each kiss lingering a little longer until finally he pulled away.
"I miss our intimate time," he murmured. "I hate myself for saying that."
"You're not a bad guy for missing alone time. I miss it too. I wouldn't change our family, but I do miss things…"
"Yeah… that. That's how I feel…" she climbed off of him in case the kids came back in. "But I love what we have…"
"Tara offered to babysit one night for us to give us some time to ourselves and I think we should take her up on it, even if it's just one nice dinner where we get to have adult conversation…" Liv told him, "and maybe we can make out in your car in the parking spot downstairs," she giggled.
"I like the sound of that, actually… something spontaneous, it sounds really nice. I don't care what we do, just as long as I can spend some time with you."
Interrupting them was Noah pushing the door open, handing Trevor a cup of coffee as Lexi trailed behind, holding a box that was almost as big as her and Noah was holding his own gift beneath his arm that was inside a large full-sized page envelope. Olivia got up and opened the blinds so that they had way more light.
Noah helped Lexi lift the large square box. "That was a heavy one, wasn't it?"
She nodded. She tried to climb on to the bed but kept slipping. Olivia reached over and picked her up. "Okay, you can open the gifts from Mom and Lexi and Luca first…"
"Thanks Noah," Trevor smiled. He took the box, "wow that's weighty, how was she carrying that?," he laughed.
"Sheer determination, this child…" Olivia told him.
He ripped the paper and invited Lexi to help. She giggled with excitement as she took great pleasure in tearing it all.
Olivia sat back and took photos with her phone. "Oh wow, this is so cool! Did my Dad tell you about this album?"
"Yeah," Olivia laughed. It was an LP for the turntable that she'd yet to see him use that he'd set up at their apartment. It was a collectable jazz album of Thelonious Monk that his grandfather used to play for him as a little boy growing his appreciation for the genre. He looked at it carefully with great delight. "Thank you," he said finally.
"There's more there…" Olivia told him. He grinned, "Ah, this is a good one, one of my favourites," he added, "Rumours… before Fleetwood Mac broke up and got back together another sixty two times…" he joked. "Nowthisone we can play." There were some other records too,Use Your Illusion Iby Guns N Roses, an album he and Olivia had talked about extensively andSchool's Outby Alice Cooper, something he remembered his Dad liking.
"Well, we have a starting point for the turntable," he grinned, "thank you guys… Noah you are going toloveGuns N Roses… they're a rock band, Mom's favourite song isNovember Rain, right?," he winked at her.
"Yeah sure, if you call getting dumped by your college boyfriend and listening to the song on repeat while crying your eyes out a favourite tune…"
Noah laughed. "Aww Mom, that's cute. I can't wait to figure out how that weird record player works…"
"Oh wait, what is this?!," he picked up a voucher. Olivia grinned. "Ohhhh that's so nice, thanks guys…" It was a $200 voucher for an electronic store so he could buy speakers for his record player which was the main reason he'd told her he hadn't used it — it needed good speakers.
"I'm actually kind of excited to get some speakers for it…"
"Good…." Liv replied.
She reached down the side of the bed and handed him another gift and once again Lexi helped him excitedly rip in to it as he sipped his coffee. He opened up a pair of wayfarer sunglasses that they'd tried on when they were at the mall that he'd decided against buying because he couldn't justify the price and lastly a nice, high end bottle of single malt whisky.
"Thank you so much, this is a lot, you guys, thank you, truly… I love it all. Best birthday I've had in years and it's not even 10am yet."
They laughed.
"Do you want to give Dad your gift now, Noah?" Olivia asked her son after she cleaned up the wrapping paper with Lexi'shelp. She could see him growing nervous as if maybe he would lose his nerve.
"Mmmm maybe it's stupid," he murmured.
"It's not stupid," Olivia said quickly. "It's a beautiful gift."
"I'm sure your Mom is right and anything you've put thought in to is definitely something I know I will love."
Noah breathed in a deep breath and sat down. He glanced over at Liv who had her camera ready, filming the moment, trying to seem like she was just taking a few snaps.
She held Lexi close beside her. "Sit with Mommy for a minute baby, Noah is talking to Daddy now."
"I just … I wanted to give you this and tell you that I love you and thank you for being my Dad."
He held the long flat gift out, it looked like an envelope inside. Trevor took it and smiled at Noah and reached out, holding his son's shoulder. "You don't ever have to thank me for being your Dad, kiddo, it's my absolute honour."
Noah felt a little nervous as Trevor slowly opened the gift, pulling out the paperwork. He was confused at first, noticing a lot of legal text and 'sign here' tabs. He stared for a moment, trying to make sure that he wasn't confused.Application for adoption. He didn't want to misunderstand what the gift was — that maybe he was looking at some paperwork that needed filing for Lexi, but as his eyes scanned the page, he saw mentions of Noah benson.
Noah was gifting him an application to adopt - to officially become his father so that they could bear the same family name once his parents were married. He felt his throat dry and his eyes film over with water. He couldn't help but become overwhelmed with emotion. He placed his hand on his chest and took a deep breath in, trying not to lose his composure. He glanced at Noah, smiling at him with a tight-closed mouth smile.
Noah was trying his best not to cry too, but his eyes betrayed him as the tears ran down his face. "Is it stupid?," he managed to ask in a tiny voice.
"No," Trevor shook his head, air leaving his mouth as he sputtered the words, leaning forward and grabbing the teen and pulling him in to a bear hug. "It's not stupid at all," he let out a half-sob. Olivia was a mess too. "I would love to be officially your father more than you know," he told him, "I'm going to sign those papers and sign them proudly and happily."
Noah gripped on to him and sobbed, feeling stupid for being so emotional but oddly relieved and finally happy that he got what he always wanted - a Dad, for real. "I love you…" he told Noah. "Thank you…" he glanced at Liv and smiled at her. "Thank you," he mouthed to her. She smiled back, wiping her eyes.
Noah finally pulled away after a few moments. "Are we gonna be Langans or Benson-Langans, Mom?" He asked, wiping his eyes, trying to act like he didn't just have an emotional outburst.
"I think if Dad's happy we'll be Langan's … we'll commit fully," she winked.
Noah smiled and wiped his eyes.
Trevor wiped his eyes, "wow, how am I ever going to beat this morning? This is genuinely the best birthday I've ever had." He picked up the documents again and looked at them closely. He turned to Olivia, "shall we get Rafael Barba on the job again since he did such a good job of Lexi's adoption?"
"Yeah…" Olivia smiled. "He's already on notice," she replied.
Trevor laughed, "Good… what a wonderful morning," he sighed with contentment.
"Dad you should eat your pancakes…" Noah pointed out, trying to get rid of some of the heightened emotions in the room.
"Good idea," Trevor replied, picking up the plate and also sipping his coffee again briefly.
/
"Your Mom told me that you like to drink peppermint tea in the morning," Renee approached Kaci who was sitting on her own on the edge of the pool dangling her legs. Summer was drawing to a close, but the weather still felt very much like mid-July heat.
Kaci looked up and saw her Mom's girlfriend wearing a plain blue sun dress over the top of her bikini. She was holding two teacups. "So, I thought… I'd bring you a cup and drink my tea with you if you don't mind the company."
"Okay, thanks…" Kaci replied a little hesitantly. "Where's Mom?"
"She's still sleeping. She woke up with a little headache."
"She shouldn't have drank so much and she wouldn't have a hang over," Kaci replied, not meaning to sound as biting as it came across. Renee didn't react. She sat down beside Kaci, letting her perfect bronzed legs slip in to the water.
She passed the tea to Kaci. "Here…"
"Thanks," Kaci murmured.
"I don't think your Mom was drunk. I think she just had a big week at work and was overtired, she didn't seem hungover."
The teen shrugged.
"Kaci, I know you probably hate me but I think you'd hate anyone who was with your Mom right now-"
"I don't hate you. I don't know you," she replied, "that wouldn't even make any sense."
Renee managed a chuckle. "Okay, but Iwantto know you. Your Mom talks about youallthe time and she always tells me what a wonderful person you are, how big your heart is and how you radiate kindness."
"Yeah, well I also have an edge, I can be a real bitch too," she shot back half-joking.
"I don't believe that. You're trying to be mean now, but still you're being sweet and funny. I know this is because you just love your Mom so much so if you need some time to warm up to me or if you decide that … you don't like me, I'll have to live with that, but… I really like your Mom. I'm not here for silly games and I don't want to hurt her and much less you…"
Kaci closed her eyes tightly for a minute, the guilt of being a little abrasive. "Its just a lot," she said finally. "And I'm scared that …" she stopped, "never mind."
"No, tell me. Whatever you tell me, I might be able to assure you."
"I'm scared you're gonna take my Mom from me," she blurted out. "My Dad almost did that and I don't want anyone else to ever try."
"Ohhoney," Renee murmured, "I wouldneverdo that and I don't think I'd be successful even if I tried. I really hope there will be a time where the three of us can all hang out and enjoy making memories together but I also know that Mom-daughter time is important and takes priority over me and I don't expect any different. Why do you think I gave your Mom the tickets to see Wicked? I wanted your Mom and you to have new, happy memories discovering new things…"
Kaci sniffed. "Do you love my Mom?," she asked.
"I do," Renee answered honestly.
"Are you bisexual or a lesbian or—?"
"I'm a lesbian," she replied, "and I've never had feelings for anyone before like I have for your Mom and I know that she's been through a lot and so have you, so I have told your Mom that we don't have to rush anything and if she changes her mind about me, I'll understand and honey, that goes for you too. If you need time to get used to me, I'll understand but I certainly don't ever want to hurt your Mom or her baby girl."
"I didn't even know my Mom liked women." Kaci held the teacup in her hands and looked in to the liquid.
Renee worried that the girl was struggling a little with letting go of her concern for her Mom after what Tara had explained happened with her ex husband, that she still felt guilty for what he had done to her since as Kaci had told the therapist, if she hadn't begged for a phone for her birthday her father would never have done what he had.
"You know, I don't ever think anything is set in stone. Sexuality can be fluid. Maybe your Mom might not have meant see whatever it is that she sees in me, maybe she wasn't even sure if she liked me, she might have just wanted to let her hair down and dance with someone… but your Mom is fun and funny and I liked her a lot from the second we talked and I felt lucky that she seemed to feel the same and maybe it was something she never expected — or maybe it was something she'd never dreamed of entertaining… I just think… things happen orpeoplehappen, and you shouldn't shut down something just because you never considered it in the past."
"I know all that…" Kaci replied, setting the teacup down. "Noah is bisexual," she blurted out. "Before we officially dated he let me down gently because he told me he had feelings for our friend… he tried to kiss him and then freaked out because nobody knew that he was queer. Eventually he realised he was trying to put himself in a box and give himself a label so that other people would understand but the more we spent time together the more he realised it was me that he liked but he was confused because he'd only ever really been attracted to guys," she explained. "It was really confusing at the time but Mom told me she related to that feeling and I think I'm starting to understand too. That maybe it's not about the gender of the person and more about the way you feel about the person and the waytheymake you feel."
Renee smiled at her. "You're an incredibly patient to bethatunderstanding about Noah…"
"Mom told me that I just needed to let him figure it out…" she paused, "I guess that's what I need to do for her too, because she was right about Noah. Maybe she's navigating her relationship with you in a way that's healthy for her and maybe I should give her more credit than to not be able to just trust her trust in people."
"I hopeyou'lltrust me though… maybe not now, maybe it's too soon for you and that's fine, but eventually."
"I hope so too," Kaci finally looked up to find her Mom's girlfriend staring back at her. Shewaskind of outrageously beautiful. She had dirty-blond hair and bright green eyes and the kind of facial structure that would have made her a pretty good candidate for modelling.
"So can we start things on the right foot and just see how we go?"
"Okay," Kaci replied. "I can do that."
"Great," Renee smiled. "What do you think about a morning swim?"
Kaci smiled. She had put her bikini on beneath her own dress and was waiting for the courage to jump in to the cool water.
She looked around, "Shoot, I didn't bring a towel down."
"That's okay," Renee smiled at her, "I'll go get you one if you like…"
"Really? You want to swim with me?"
"Sure," Renee smiled, "why not?"
"Okay," Kaci gave in, deciding that it was a kind thing that her Mom's girlfriend was doing, attempting to talk to her and showing her patience and understanding.
"And Kaci, one thing about me, is that when I fall in love with someone, I fall in love with everything about that person, whatever is important to your Mom is going to be very important to me too, so I hope we get to hang out and get to know each other more as well…"
Kaci just smiled back at her as she got up without another word and went to get them both a towel.
/
The front door opened and the smile that filled the older woman's face made Trevor feel the weight of guilt fall upon him. "Oh, Trevor… sweetie, come inside," Paula, Lana's mother ushered him inside their home. "It's so good to see you! We were just talking about calling you yesterday!"
"Hi Paula," he leaned over and gave her a warm hug.
"And on your birthday! Happy birthday!"
"Thank you, I'm here visiting my family and I really wanted to talk to you and Bob, I guess, check in and see how you're both doing."
Paula motioned for him to take a seat as she went to get her husband who was in the yard. Out of nowhere a small West Highland Terrier came bolting inside and began to jump and yip for attention.
"Oh my gosh," Trevor murmured, "what a cute little guy! Who is this?" He leaned over and pet the sweet dog who sat to obedience and panted happily, receiving affection from the visitor.
"This is Miss Maggie May," she smiled as Bob appeared.
"Hi Bob, so good to see you," Trevor got to his feet as Lana's father came to meet him in the living room and gave him a hug.
"Bob, it's Trevor's birthday," Paula informed him.
"Oh, happy birthday, Trevor, it's been awhile."
"Yeah…" his voice trailed off, "I guess I had a lot going on in the city and a lot of things to work through since last time I was here. I apologise, it really wasn't my intention to not contact you both."
Bob shrugged, "you still have to live your life, kiddo," he took a seat. "You met Maggie?"
"I did, she's so sweet…" he smiled.
"Bob and I started seeing a grief counsellor, it was time…" she admitted, "and he suggested that we get a dog."
Trevor chuckled, "You know, I got Ruby because my therapist promised she would help me through the grief and I do feel like it worked. She gave me purpose to get out of bed every day because she was relying on me."
Bob nodded with understanding, "Maggie certainly has given us reasons to get out and about that we might have avoided before, that's true."
"So what brought you here today, Trevor- you mentioned you wanted to talk about something?"
"Yeah…" he felt anxiety swelling within him. He wasn't even sure how to bring it up.
"I thought that this was the right thing to do, but sitting here I feel like I'm betraying you both and Lana too…" he blurted out a little unsure of how to word his feelings. "I realise that sounds so cryptic."
"You met someone…" Paula said the words for him so that he didn't have to. She could tell when he walked through the door. He was lighter, his face wasn't so serious and his appearance was much more kept.
"Yeah…" he nodded, "I actually met her just before the last time I saw you both but… we were just friends."
"Congratulations, Trevor, that's good news for you," Bob forced the words out. He knew it wasn't fair to want their late daughter's husband to be sad forever.
"I'm sorry," Trevor apologised, "I didn't ever think it would happen, I didn'twantanyone else-"
"Trevor stop," Paula told him gently, "you don't have to apologise for moving on with your life. Lana would have never wanted you to be unhappy, youshouldbe happy and youshouldmove on."
His eyes misted over at Lana's Mom's compassion. "I sometimes feel very guilty," he let the words fall from his mouth. "Because I'm so happy but I feel like I shouldn't be and that I don't deserve it because I've left Lana behind." His throat constricted as the words came out easily, not even realising that he felt that way until they spilled from his lips.
Paula got up and took a seat next to him and took his hand. "You were very much like a son to us, Trevor and you gave Lana the happiest days of her life and what happened wasn't your fault and even though it hurts that we don't get to see her grow old with you, it doesn't mean we want you to be lonely."
Bob sniffed and nodded in agreement.
Trevor wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry, it's been an emotional day."
"Tell us about her," Bob suggested.
Trevor swallowed hard and began, "Her name is Olivia — she's captain of the Manhattan Special Victims Police Unit. She works with victims of some terrible crimes and in a way, the compassion and the will to make people's lives better through difficult times — it reminded me of Lana."
"That's nice…" Paula replied. "Does she know about Lana?"
"Of course…" Trevor nodded. "She encouraged me to talk about her as much as I needed to and she always tells me that it's possible to be in love again while simultaneously still grieving or still missing another person. I struggled with people treating me uncomfortably when I tried to bring Lana up to just … tell them about her, you know?"
He knew both of her parents understood. "Liv really encouraged that. And … she had some things going on of her own and I guess it just fell together organically and we fell in love. I asked her to marry me a little over a month ago."
"Congratulations, Trevor, that is wonderful." He hugged her, feeling grateful for their understanding.
Bob shook his hand firmly. "It's bittersweet," he told Trevor, "I don't mean that insultingly, I just mean that… I'm sad that it can't just be with my daughter but I am happy that you're happy, Trevor."
He thanked them both.
"There's one other thing… and I was thinking about this last night and I talked to Olivia about it and I guess I'll just say it…" he took a deep breath. "Olivia has a 14 year old son who I've grown very close to, he calls me Dad. And then about 12 months ago, Olivia worked a case where…" he paused, "actually, the details are better just not to go in to, but a 2 year old was left in an abandoned home with 2 other children and ACS tossed her around from home to home and so … we decided to adopt her."
"Wow," Bob was shocked, "adoption, huh? Was that a hard process?"
"Honestly, no… given the situation and Olivia's closeness to ACS contacts and her access to a good lawyer, it went through quite smoothly since she had no living relatives. Her name is Lexi."
Paula was crying but Trevor didn't feel like it was angry or upset with him. "Sorry," she replied, "you've become a Dad… Lana used to tell me how badly you wanted to be a Dad and it's happened. I'm just so happy for you."
"I kind of expected you guys might be angry with me… it sounds dumb but just… mad for moving on."
"No…" she shook her head. "Maybe when you saw us last or if you'd told us over the phone even the last time we talked, maybe we would have felt angry but … we're at a better place now."
"We just want people to remember Lana. I know you won't forget her."
"When Olivia and I moved in together, she got mad at me for taking a picture of Lana and I at our wedding, she put it up on the wall at her place and my son, Olivia's son, Noah, he asks about her and we talk about her and what my life was like with her…"
Bob smiled, "is he a nice kid?"
"Thebest," Trevor replied, "the nicest, coolest kid. Empathetic, perceptive, affectionate, full of joy," he smiled, "and I guess the last part of my news is that… about 2 weeks after we submitted our petition for adoption, Olivia found out she was about 7 weeks pregnant," he said with a little laugh, "we had a son and he's 8 weeks old now."
"How the hell did you go from being a Dad of zero to a Dad of 3?" Bob laughed and it felt nice. In the entire time since Lana had passed, Trevor hadn't seen neither Paula or Bob even so much as smile. She was honest, theywereat a different place.
"I know… it's been a crazy ride, but it feels right. I feel like giving us the beautiful surprise of Luca, our youngest may just be a little gift from Lana — that's how I like to think about it anyway."
"Trevor do you have photos? We'd love to see."
"Of course. I'd love to show you. I almost brought Luca with me because he had a fussy morning but… I didn't know what reception I'd get with all this and I just didn't want to shock you both."
He showed them photos of the kids and also of Olivia. It was a bitter-sweet moment just as Bob had said, but they did genuinely seem happy.
"Do you think… would it be strange if we wanted to meet them? You're important to us Trevor, whether or not you have realised it, but you are, Raia too, and I think maybe it will be nice for us to see you happy and thriving, as hard as it is to be without our beautiful daughter, I think its what she would have wanted."
Trevor nodded. "Actually, tonight all of the family and some friends are scheming to throw some kind of BBQ, Raia's girls and all of our kids will be there and then some others…" he told them both, "and I thought that if you both felt comfortable, you might want to come and have some dinner and catch up with Raia and Gavin and Olivia did say that she would really find it nice to meet you both too."
Paula looked to Bob who seemed a little less keen on the idea than she did. "Can we have a talk about it and let you know?"
He nodded again, "Yeah of course, I don't want either of you to feel uncomfortable, but I wanted to say that you're welcome, we'd love to have you and if not, I fully understand. We're leaving to go home Tuesday morning so if you'd prefer, I can bring the kids and Liv over here or we can meet somewhere for brunch or something else."
"Thank you Trevor," Bob was unsure whether or not he was able to commit himself to a party.
"If you do decide to come tonight, even if it's just to stop by, you can bring Miss Maggie, Ruby loves a friend and she's very gentle with smaller dogs."
"Thank you," Paula said again.
They chatted for a short while until Trevor took it as his queue to get going and asked them to let him know if they were intending on coming later.
/
Olivia watched Gavin, Sonny and Patrick putting up some shade sails across the yard and a marquee so that they could put some tables in with some snack food and an icebox full of beer and sodas and other drinks.
Noah and Adam and Ryan had arrived and the three boys were setting up a tent that Gavin had loaned them where they'd intended on sleeping, Gavin pausing every now and then to give them pointers.
She held Luca close to her with a content smile on her face. Kaci, Jessie, Tara and Renee were in the pool playing a game close to waterpolo, the four of them getting along well and shrieking with laughter.
"How areyougoing?" Amanda asked, taking a seat and passing her an ice cold beer.
"Thanks," she smiled, clinking bottles with hers. "I'm good, just tired, it's been a really nice morning and we couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. Where's Han and Raia?"
"Oh they're inside complaining about the heat and playing with the girls."
"Noah asked Trevor to adopt him for his birthday, it was such a beautiful moment," Liv smiled. "He really didn't want a different name when Trevor and I get married and he really wanted Trevor to officially be his father the same as Lexi and Luca."
"Aww, wow. Liv, that's so beautiful."
Olivia made sure no-one was around and picked up her phone and flicked through to the video she took and showed it to Amanda who watched the interchange between Trevor and Noah. She brought her hand to her mouth with a big grin on her face as she watched. When the video was done she looked at Liv with tear-filled eyes.
"Liv, that kid has got such a beautiful heart. I am so happy for him and Trevor…"
"I know," Olivia sighed happily, "he's gone to visit Lana's parents this morning to let them know about the kids and to let them know we're engaged— he's not back so soon so I'm guessing it's not going terribly."
"I hope not, he doesn't deserve that."
"Me too," Olivia replied.
"So," she began, "Jessie is going to join her new BFF for life at gymnastics… if I'm honest it's nice to see Jessie losing that stoic attitude and to finally be excited by something for once. Kaci really brings out more of a brighter personality that I'm … kind of not used to seeing."
"I always wondered if there was something going on with that, if I'm honest. She just seemed fairly uninterested in most things except books and watching old episodes of Columbo. What iswiththat by the way?!"
Amanda started to laugh. "I don't know… she's old enough to remember Al, and I think somewhere deep down she really truly believes that he's her father despite me telling her that he isn't… I don't know, the therapist said that she displays some abandonment issues but… maybe she's just quiet and shy and is an introvert…"
"Yeah," Olivia nodded, "she's still always been such a beautiful kid though, you've never had any issues with herorBillie, so you're doing a fab job, Mom."
Amanda smiled at her friend. "Thanks Liv, so are you, you're doing a great job as always."
"I'm still struggling at times… I struggle a lot when Lexi is melting down, I start feeling really antsy and desperate to calm her and then if I can't, I'm internalising it."
"You know better than anyone where she came from and what she experienced no matter the age and how that can translate, but she might also be just having normal 2 year old melt downs and it's not your fault. Her language is getting so much better so she can tell you more-or-less what she wants now, that's gotta make things easier."
"Yeah, it's gotten a little easier. It's just her sleeping. It drives me crazy, she wakes up so many times, I'm guessing she has bad dreams, but it wakes Luca and then Trevor and I aren't getting any sleep either."
Amanda couldn't help but to laugh. "Welcome to parenthood, my sweet… your sleeping days are over until Luca is at least 8."
"Great," Olivia muttered but laughing.
She looked up to see Trevor was back. She took the bottle from Luca's mouth and set it down on the table and got him ready to start winding him.
"Hello hello!" He greeted Amanda, pausing to kiss Olivia on the lips and lean over further to kiss Luca.
"How'd you go?" Olivia asked him.
"Yeah," he gave her a smile, "good… they might come later, they told me they'd let me know." He was a little nervous of what would happen if they did come along, but he wasn't going to change anything.
"Okay," she replied. "That's nice…"
"I'll be back, I'm just gonna go say hello to the kids and Sonny."
/
Trevor wrung his hands with nervousness as he got ready— wearing something a little more formal than his own guests. He wore a white button down shirt and a pair of black pants. He wondered if he should put on and decided to go with it. He pulled on his Chucks and did his hair and waited for Liv's text.
When it came he went downstairs and back outside where everyone was.
"Wow, didn't realise we were attending such a formal event," Patrick teased him. "Or do you have somewhere else to be?"
"I actually just have an announcement and I wanted to be wearing something nice for it…" he ignored his Dad's joke. "Could everyone please come down to the marquee because I want to announce something quickly before Olivia comes out…"
"Wait, Sonny's not back yet…" Amanda told him, "or do we wanna keep him in the dark too? I'm cool either way, I love a secret," she joked.
Trevor laughed. "It's not that serious, we can fill him in."
They went downstairs and headed in the marquee. "Wait, did you knock Liv up again?" Raia asked, "cos that's pretty fast…"
"Oh shut up, stop it…" all the kids got together. Trevor pulled his phone out and texted Olivia back. "So thanks everyone for coming, it's so nice to see everyone," he pointed at a guy to the back who stood close with his wife, "Fanza, can't believe you made it, thanks for coming."
Anthony Fanzarello, his bestfriend throughout college from the football team, his Mom had passed him in town when he was visiting family and had invited him. It was rare they saw each other these days and kept in touch by emails and social media.
"So I have a surprise… Liv and I wanted to do this… and I thought about what would be the most amazing birthday wish… and then I got something from my beautiful son, Noah, that may have just actually outdone this…" he beamed at Noah who grinned right back at him.
"But this is going to be maybe equally as special…" Trevor looked up at and grinned as he saw Olivia making her way down the steps carefully with Sonny. She was wearing a plain cream-coloured summer dress and Sonny was dressed similarly to Trevor, wearing a waist coat. He had a big grin on his face, proud to be with his friend Olivia of whom he had looked up to for so many years.
"Noooooo!" Raia clamped her hand over her own mouth, "you're—-" she was in disbelief. Trevor couldn't help but to feel smug that he'd managed to keep it under wraps so well.
"Surprise…" Trevor laughed, "Welcome to my birthday party and Olivia and my surprise wedding."
Olivia looked pretty damn pleased with herself as she joined Trevor holding a bunch of her favourite fresh flowers that Trevor had bought for her on the way home from Paula and Bob's house.
"So… take seats, or not… but we just ask that you get a drink and celebrate with us," he told them. He grinned at Olivia's light make up and the way she filled out the dress that she had been second guessing.
Everyone was shocked but also excited. "Sonny has been kind enough to get the licence to officiate the wedding so… we're ready to start off our future together with our family…"
Olivia couldn't take her eyes off how handsome he looked as he commanded attention from everyone. She suddenly felt nervous with every eye in the room on them. She turned to Noah who she and Trevor had told their plans to earlier.
"You rat!," she heard Amanda scolding Sonny good-naturedly, "you didn't even tell me!"
He laughed and ignored her.
"Is everyone ready?" Sonny asked, taking over from Trevor.
"Okay, let me start by saying that even though I haven't known Trevor for as long as I've known Olivia, Iknowthat he is the right man for her. He is as kind as he is loyal, as generous as he is reliable and he is anexcellentDad and an even more excellent human and I cannot think of a better person for Olivia."
He shook hands with Trevor and gave him a little hug.
"And Olivia, Olivia," he smiled at her, "you are absolutely the most wonderful, powerful, enigmatic woman in my life after my wife. Your endless compassion and wealth of empathy and ability to make all of us feel such love and such belonging is something that I can only imagine your family will get to experience on a much larger level. Trevor is lucky to have found you and together I believe you will both have a happy, sincere and loving marriage."
"Thanks, Sonny," Olivia replied, misty-eyed already. She gave him a warm hug. Sonny gave Noah a little nod. He reached in to the pocket of his black dress shorts and pulled out the ring box and gave it to Sonny, stopping to give both of his Mom and Dad a hug.
"We're going to just go ahead and start the exchanging of vows," Sonny told everyone.
He opened the ring box and presented Olivia's wedding ring and Trevor's wedding band.
"Trevor, we're going to start with you… is there anything you want to say before we go ahead with the vows?"
He smiled and took Olivia's hands. "I am so proud to marry you and I couldn't have thought of a more perfect way to do it. I love you so very much and I thank you for being the person that could offer me hope at a time where I never believed I would find it again. Thank you for being so patient with me, for always showing up for me even when I haven't been at my best. I will be so proud to call you my wife."
"Thank you," she whispered nervously. She leaned forward and kissed his lips lingeringly.
"Olivia?" Sonny pressed, "do you have something to say?"
She cleared her throat, "Thankyoufor being patient with me. For taking on all the parts of me that I thought were the hardest to love. Thank you for loving Noah, for taking him on without conditions, for showing him what it is to be a man of honour and a man of integrity. There's been men in the past that I thought might betheone, but having you as my equal, I finally realised why people have told me that when you know, youknow… And with you, Trevor? I know. I love you very, very much and I am so excited to become your wife."
Trevor kissed her right back and smiled at her, focusing on how beautiful she looked. Ignoring Sonny for the moment and reaching over to touch her beautiful hair that was long now and tumbled right down to the middle of her back.
He knew she wanted to cut it, but he loved it so much.
"Trevor Langan, do you choose this woman, Olivia benson to be your wedded wife and will you always be faithful to her?"
"I do," he replied with certainty.
"Trevor, I'm going to get you to repeat after me…" Sonny began, "I, Trevor William Langan, take you, Olivia Margaret Benson to be my wedded wife…"
"I, Trevor William Langan, take you Olivia Margaret Benson to be my wedded wife," he repeated, grinning at her. He felt a little emotional, but more excited than much else.
"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse," Sonny continued.
Trevor repeated the words back, not taking his eyes off Olivia for a second, feeling her nerves as he held on to both of her soft hands.
"For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health and to love and to cherish…"
Trevor finished off his vows and smiled at Liv.
It was her turn to go through the same vows.
"Olivia benson, do you choose this man, Trevor Langan to be your wedded husband and will you always be faithful to him?"
"I do," she replied with that same unflinching certainty.
"So please repeat the same vows after me," Sonny smiled at her.
He read out the same vows and had Olivia repeat them.
He held out the rings once they were done. "These rings are symbols of your marriage in an unbroken circle of love. Love freely given has no beginning and no end. Today you have both chosen to exchange rings as a sign of your love for one another and as a seal of the vows you've made today." He couldn't help himself, Sonny signed himself in the name of the cross before continuing, "we ask that God Bless these rings and this union of marriage."
Trevor took Olivia's ring at Sonny's urging and pushed it on to her wedding finger as they both stared for a moment.
Trevor had already memorised the next words, "With this ring, I, thee wed. I give you my all and promise that from this day forward, you'll never walk alone, may you come to me as your shelter and may my arms be your home."
Olivia's eyes began to film over. Trevor chuckled as his started to as well.
"Olivia," Sonny turned to her, waiting. She cleared her throat.
She plucked up the ring and slid it on to his wedding finger. "With this ring, I, thee wed, I give you my all and promise that from this day forward, you'll never walk alone, may you come to me as your shelter and may my arms be your home."
"Wherever you go, may you always return to one another in your togetherness, May you both deepen your compassion and understanding for one another and may these rings symbolise the love between you both. And by the power invested in me, I am very,veryhappy to pronounce you both husband and wife! Trevor, you both now may kiss…"
"Happily," Trevor chuckled. He leaned over sliding his arms around Olivia's waist. "I love you, wifey." He was grinning so hard that his eyes were watering and so were hers. He kissed her softly and gently, understanding the situation of Noah having his friends around and also the awkwardness of his family. He kissed her again and again for a series of short, lingering kisses, keeping his tongue to himself.
Olivia hugged him tightly for a moment. He could feel the nerves leaving her body. "I love you so much!," she exclaimed.
"Me too." He pulled away and grinned at her. "Now we can have a couple of nice photos with the kids and… we can relax?"
She slid her fingers between his. "This is actually better than the wedding I could have ever imagined…"
"Good, I love you, I love you…"
"I love you," she repeated, leaning in to kiss him again.
With reluctance to pull away from one another, they had people to talk to and to greet who wanted to say congratulations, starting with Noah.
/
"This is perfect…" Trevor murmured to Olivia, holding her in his arms. He watched Lexi, Levi and Chloe playing with Alice and Tara and Renee. "I couldn't have asked for a more amazing birthday. I became officially a dad of three and a husband today," he chuckled. "Right but our wedding anniversary is never to be celebrated on your birthday, that's your day."
"I think I should be allowed to be the judge of that…" he chuckled.
"Happy wife, happy life, remember?," she reminded him with a smirk.
He reached for her face, tipping her chin up to look at him. He smiled, losing himself in her warm brown eyes. "I will always do my best to keep you happy," he promised. He let his mouth rest against hers and felt her leaning in to him. He relished the taste of her lips. He let his hand stroke her chestnut hair, curling his long fingers loosely through her locks.
"I want to hear your infectious laughter every single day," he murmured against her lips, his voice was raw, flecked with emotion. "I really just want to see your eyes sparkling like they are now, I want you to feel like this every day…" he traced her hairline with his fingertips as he kissed her softly again. "I'll do my very best…"
"Me too… I want that for you too, Trev, I'll do my best too, even on the hard days…"
He smiled. He kissed her, letting his tongue taste the tip of hers. She closed her eyes in response. She felt his hand settle at her waist, pulling her what felt impossibly closer, allowing her to lean in to the warmth of his body. She curled her hand around the back of his neck, letting her fingers disappear in to the back of his hair where it was beginning to get a curl to it.
The party around them shrunk away as he deepened the kiss, pressing her against him, trying to not make his need for her seem urgent or too hard to resist. He reluctantly pulled away, remembering where they were and that there were eyes on them. A weary but content smile stretched across Olivia's lips as he pressed his forehead against hers. He kissed her one last time. "My wife…" he murmured as if he was just testing the expression. "My wifeOlivia."
She smiled. "My husband…" she replied. "My beautiful, handsome husband…"
He sighed and wrapped his arms back around her. "I'll get you a drink in a second like I promised but I just want to enjoy this moment for a beat longer…"
"I'm certainly okay with that."
"Look at how Kaci and Noah both have the maturity to do their own thing when their respective friends are around."
"I know… it's so healthy," Olivia laughed.
"It's nice that Tara and Renee are sleeping in the other tent with the girls, I like Renee, she seems genuine, what do you think?"
"I think so… I think she feels a little awkward but she's fitting in well, everyone likes her. Kaci even seems to have relaxed a little as well."
Olivia reached for her phone and scrolled through to the pictures they had taken after their vows before it got dark. "Look at this one… it's my favourite photo of us all."
Trevor glanced at the photo of both him and Olivia and Noah holding Lexi and Trevor with one arm around them, and the other holding Luca. "It's my favourite too. We all look so happy."
"Because we are," Olivia replied. "Right?"
"We are," he nodded. "I've never felt happier."
"Happy birthday and Dad day, sweetheart," she murmured.
"Happy wedding day, my love," he kissed her one last time. He felt her snuggling in to him.
"Thank you," she replied, "happy wedding day too." He picked up her hand and threaded his fingers between them and examined their wedding rings and sighed with relief.
"Yeah, I definitely feel happy and I can feel it radiating from you too," he kissed her forehead before letting go of her hand and circling his arms around her.
"We're fortunate for everything we have … for all this, all these beautiful people in our lives…" Olivia watched everyone having a great time, eating, messing around, swimming in the pool, kids playing, Trevor's Mom harassing the children to eat more.
Trevor smiled for the same reasons Olivia was. "Our lives just seemed to crash together perfectly and for that we aredefinitelyfortunate," he confirmed with a nod of his head.
He kissed Olivia's warm forehead. "Love you," he said again quietly as he continued to watch with a smile as his family celebrated them and gave them the time that they needed to savour and relish their first moments as a married couple.
He could hardly believe that the ten year old boy that he met back before his late wife had passed was the bones of their relationship, the one who had allowed him to flesh out such a life for them all and he would never be more grateful for Noah coming in to his life and for showing him the hope; that human connection that he needed to allow him to keep moving forward all those years earlier.
For Noah; his eldest son of whom accepted him unconditionally from the start, he would always,alwaysbe grateful.