The exorcists were at their back up base inside a hallowed-out asteroid. A heavenly portal briefly appeared above the base and Emily stepped out. The exorcists who had been training with rifles stopped what they were doing and pointed their guns at Emily while she descended. They restrained themselves from firing because they could tell that Emily coming by herself meant she was here as a messenger rather than an invader so it might be good to hear what she had to say.
"I want to speak with Adam," Emily said as she landed on the ground. The exorcist closest to her went to find Adam and only two minutes later, he approached Emily.
"First things first," Adam began with uncharacteristic seriousness, "how did you find us?"
"You remember Vaggie?" Emily asked in return. "The one exorcist who refused to slaughter a sinner child so you and Lute gouged out one of her eyes, ripped off her wings and left her for dead in hell? She told me about this place."
"Damn," Adam said with a surprising amount of levity. "She actually hated me enough to come clean and throw away what she had with Lilith's brat. If she had that kind of dedication, I wouldn't have kicked her out in the first place."
"She came clean with Charlie over a month ago," Emily explained. "From what I understand, they worked things out. But we're getting off topic: the important thing is that all of heaven and hell now know about this place," Emily finished as she waved her arm around to gesture at the exorcist base. "Now that I think about it, 'all' is a real stretch. It's really just a few like-minded souls in heaven and for hell, it's Lucifer, three overlords, the daughters of a fourth and any of their forces they feel like sending against you. Unsurprisingly, it was not difficult finding volunteers in hell for a retaliatory strike against you."
"Lucifer can't attack," Adam began to retort. "The heaven/hell treaty clearly states that he isn't supposed to interfere in exorcist business."
"Heaven has decided," Emily said, "to waive that part of the treaty since for right now, the main priority is stopping you," Emily finished by pointing her finger at Adam. "I haven't taken a detailed headcount yet, but it looks like the forces that I've rounded up so far outnumber your exorcists over fifteen to one."
"Fuck," Adam groaned in despair at how bad his situation was looking. He then had a wicked grin on his face. He raised his hand and fired a medium powered light blast at Emily's upper chest, which passed through her.
"I'm not actually here," Emily began to explain. "There's a small orb thing that is projecting a hologram of me so that I can communicate with you. It was decided that this was necessary to ensure you wouldn't try to do something like take me hostage, which I'm assuming is what just happened. I considered showing up here with your troops being surrounded by all the forces that I've mustered against you but honestly, I'm hoping this can be settled nonviolently and I don't trust my new demonic allies to feel the same way. Plus, I think I heard Glip-glorp say something about wanting to see how his disintegrator ray would fare against angelic resilience."
"That green dick! I spoke up in defense of him being allowed to stay in heaven and this is how we repays me?"
"You really think that entitles you to the kind of loyalty where he would turn a blind eye to you committing systemic genocide?"
"Yeah. Dude owes me."
"He respectfully disagrees. Now let's get down to business. I have something you want."
A new image started glimmering into existence next to Emily's hologram. When it finished it turned out to be Lute, once again cocooned up to her neck in Zestial's magical spider thread.
"I know she looks different now," Emily said, "but this is Lute."
"I call bullshit," Adam retorted.
"As you should," Lute spoke up. "I have no idea who this Lute person is or why she's trying to claim that I'm her, but it's not true."
"That's exactly what the real Lute would say," Adam said with a hopeful expression and tone, "to prevent herself from being used as a bargaining chip against me. Holy shit balls, you're still alive. How did that happen?"
"As far as we can tell," Emily began to explain, "when she killed Sera, a portal to hell opened beneath the two of them that they fell through. You were temporarily blinded at the time and when you regained your sight, you misinterpreted their disappearance as Sera doing something to vaporize the two of them to take her killer with her."
"That tracks," Adam admitted. "What happened to her eye?"
"That traitor Vaggie," Lute began to answer venomously, "stopped me from assassinating princess Morningstar and decided that 'an eye for an eye' should apply literally."
"Once again, that tracks," Adam commented. "So I'm guessing you want me to surrender in exchange for Lute being handed over to me."
"Don't do it sir," Lute pleaded, giving up on pretending that she wasn't herself. "Our mission is more important than me."
"face facts, danger tits," Adam started to counter. "I'm sure Emily's not bluffing about how she's convinced heaven to turn on us. Carrying on the exterminations without heaven's backing is one thing but if we were to keep this going, it would mean having to fight heaven for the sake of trying to protect heaven. Not even going into how this means the deck's stacked against us, don't you think that's a little fucked up?"
"Any angel who sides with heaven deserves death," Lute angrily shouted and then had a cruel smirk on her face. "Like Sera."
"And killing her got you sent to hell," Emily countered. "It's possible that whenever one of the exorcists kills an angel, they will similarly fall. I'm sure hell would be eager to welcome them in ways that would have them begging for death."
"All the more reason for us to quit while we're behind," Adam spoke up. "Speaking on behalf of the exorcists under my command, we surrender."
"A wise choice," Emily complemented. "So here's what's going to happen: your weapons and related items will be confiscated, this asteroid base will be converted into your prison and then Lute will be handed over to you."
"Look, some of the exorcists haven't actually killed any sinners because they were recently created."
"What do you mean created?" Emily asked.
"Exactly what it sounds like," Adam answered and then gave a brief explanation. "Does it seem like justice for them to be considered as equally guilty as me or the others who have four or five figure body counts?"
"The newly created ones," Emily began, "will be sent to heaven for rehabilitation. As for everyone else, sentencing will be determined on a case by case basis depending on severity of offenses. Your sentence will be at least a few thousand years."
"Fine," Adam grumbled with crossed his arms like a pouty teen. He really didn't think it was fair for heaven to punish him for killing sinners since sinners were outside heaven's jurisdiction but it sounded like the powers at be did not see it that way. As much as Adam felt like heaven was stabbing him in the back over politics, he didn't feel strongly enough about it to lay down his life trying to swim against the current.
—-
Three days later, the transitionary period for the exorcists' surrender had started. The exorcists' weapons and other tools for warfare had been confiscated and the asteroid base was being turned into their prison while the newly created exorcists were sent to a newly built facility in heaven to be rehabilitated.
Emily had decided to have a memorial service for Sera at the heaven embassy so that if any of her demonic allies were interested in attending, they could.
"Thank you all for coming," Emily said to the assembled guests. "I decided to have this service at the heaven embassy not just so that anyone from hell could attend if they wanted to, but also to symbolize how Sera died wanting to bring in a new era of heaven/hell relations."
Emily had an awkward look on her face.
"Even though," Emily resumed, "she only wanted to bring in this new era because after finding out that angels could be killed with their own weapons that the exorcists have been carelessly leaving behind for centuries, the exterminations looked a lot less viable. So even when Sera did the right thing, it was for the wrong reason."
"The truth is," Emily continued, "I loved Sera. Finding out about how easily she ordered the exterminations, believing that indiscriminately killing countless souls in hell was necessary to protect heaven while also deciding that they were beyond redemption," Emily looked at Carmilla as she said this, "I'm starting to wonder how much I really knew her. Having said that, she definitely didn't deserve to die because she was willing to backpedal on the exterminations. I'm also not happy that there's no body for me to bury though, I have no intention of punishing all of hell for the actions of a few."
I said I was sorry about that, Rosie thought, able to tell from Emily's gaze how that comment was directed at her as the leader of cannibal town. After the exorcists had been strong-armed into surrendering, Rosie had told Emily that if Sera's body hadn't been found it was because some of Rosie's people had found it first while venturing outside cannibal town so there was no body to find anymore. Emily was not happy about this but she understood that there was nothing she could do to change what had happened.
"That's really all I have to say," Emily finished. "Would anyone else like to say anything?"
"I would," one of the angelic guests spoke up with an accent that sounded like a combination of British and African. He was roughly 4 feet tall, dressed in a black suit and looked like a stereotypical green alien with a large, oval head and wide, black eyes.
"Certainly," Emily said as she stepped away from the podium and made room for the new speaker.
"So my name is Glip-glorp," the speaker identified himself. "At least that's what my name sounds like. My true name translates poorly from my native language, which is beyond your vocal capacity to reproduce. I am what you would call an extra terrestrial."
There were gasps and murmurs of surprise from the residents of hell who were learning about this for the first time.
"So you," Glip-Glorp continued, "might've heard of my arrival if you were on earth after 1947. From what I understand, quite a few people noticed when my ship crashed near Roswell, New Mexico. I died in the crash and was allowed into heaven, likely because dying on Earth put me in the jurisdiction of Earth's afterlife and I met the criteria for entry. The unprecedented nature of my arrival got Sera's attention. She put me under house arrest in a secure safe house until such time as she felt that the general populous finding out about me would not cause chaos. After a few months, she was kind enough to let me venture out with a security detail. No incident happened but I was immensely touched by her concern. To find out that the same woman who made sure I would not be harmed while in heaven also ordered such bloodshed has left me… confused, to say the least. Even though it got her killed, I'm glad that Sera decided to change course on the exterminations because it proved that the kindness she showed to me wasn't just a front."
First I learn of Carmilla's return, Zestial began thinking, then I learn that the exorcists have been arrested by heaven and now I find out that there's life beyond earth. I have had centuries passed by that were less eventful then the last week.
With no one else having anything to say about Sera, the guests began mingling with each other and heading to the freshman table.
Sir Pentious tapped Cherri Bomb's arm to get her attention. Pentious was dressed in his usual suit but Cherri was wearing a modest black dress for the occasion.
"There's been a change of plans, Cherri," Pentious said.
"You want to talk to the spaceman, don't you?" Cherri asked even though she already knew the answer.
"I really do," Pentious answered in an almost pleading manner.
"That's fine," Cherri replied. "I'd like that too, but it looks like we're gonna have to wait a bit."
Cherry remembered when Pentious had asked her to come to the service.
(Begin flashback)
"So Cherri," Pentious began talking to her. "We've been invited to the service for the slain high seraphim since we offered to help with the exorcists. Even though our help proved unnecessary, I would like to go."
"Why?" Cherri asked incredulously.
"Ever since I arrived in hell, nearly 140 years ago," Pentious began explaining, "I've wondered if a contributing factor to my arrival here was having read Charles Darwin's 'On the Origin of Species' and finding his work scientifically sound. Who knows when I might get another chance to get an answer from one of heaven's representatives."
"All right," Cherri said in understanding. "I think I'd like to hear that from them too. I'd also be curious to see what kind of food they've got in heaven. Besides, I should probably make sure you don't spill the beans about what we were planning to do with the exorcists."
(End flashback)
Emily had gotten samples of food from her and Sera's favorite places in heaven as her way of honoring the fallen elder Seraphim.
"Oh my gosh," Charlie said as she looked at the ice cream selection. "They have sprinkles made out of rainbows."
"Those are just rainbow sprinkles," Emily clarified. "You should really try something else before getting to the sweets. I recommend the sushi."
Cherri was looking over the selection of food and wondering what you should try first while she Pentious waited for his chance to talk with Glip-glorp.
"Hard to pick because it all looks so good, am I right?" A female voice with a British accent said to Cherri. The cycloptic Aussie turned towards the voice and saw that it came from a female angel that looked like a brown, anthropomorphic cat that appeared to have some muscle tone under her fur. "Personally, I would recommend the kebabs. "
The feline Angel followed her own advice and took one. Cherri followed suit and bit into one, very much enjoying it.
"Thanks," Cherri said. "I'm Cherri."
"I'm Trixie," the female angel identified herself. "So how are you connected enough to get an invite to this?"
"I'm friends with the first guest at Princess Charlie's hotel," Cherri began explaining. "He asked me to help out if things with the exorcists had to get violent. I said yes even though it didn't come to that," Cherri said with a hint of disappointment.
"I take it you were looking forward to fighting back against the exorcists," Trixie said.
Yes, but not for all the reasons you think, Cherri thought.
"Personally," Trixie continued, "I don't blame you for wanting payback on the exorcists for everything they put hell through but I'm sure you'll admit that them being forced to surrender because heaven turned on them is also pretty good."
"It is," Cherri agreed enthusiastically.
Sir Pentious slithered up to the two women, deciding to help himself to some food while he waited for the unofficial line to talk to Glip-glorp to decrease on its own.
"Looks like you made a new friend while I was gone," Pentious said to Cherri and then faced Trixie. "I am Sir Pentious: inventor, aspiring urban war lord and Cherri's paramore. And you are?"
"I'm Trixie," she re-introduced herself.
"So tell me Trixie," Sir Pentious began. "I've been in hell for almost 140 years by now. And all that time, I've been wondering off and on if one of the factors that contributed to my arrival here was having read Charles Darwin's 'On the Origin of Species' and agreeing with his work. Do you know if that was the case?"
"Very unlikely," Trixie answered. "Heaven's not nearly as militant when it comes to evolution, homosexuality or premarital sex as some of the wankers on Earth would have you believe. I should know: I got into heaven despite being a lesbian and having sex with another woman. A woman who gave me aids and that's how I ended up there," Trixie finished with a sad look.
"Thanks for clearing that up for me," Pentious said. "So what's good on the refreshments table?"
"The kebabs are fantastic," Cherri suggested.
"Emily is a big fan of the sushi," Trixie chimed in. "Not me though. Ironic, considering my feline traits."
"What's really ironic," Pentious began, "is Cherri and I getting along so well with you considering some of our earlier plans."
"What plans?" Trixie asked with some hostility.
Pentious, you fucking idiot, Cherri thought.
Emily was talking with Charlie and Vaggie. She was greatly enjoying the company of Hell's Princess and the former exorcist. Emily was originally considering taking a month off to properly deal with the after effects of Sera's death but she was considering cutting that time in half since working with Charlie and Vaggie towards their shared goal of helping sinners would be good for her. Emily was feeling optimistic about how they were all on the verge of a new era in heaven/hell diplomacy.
"You were going to what?" Emily heard Trixie yell from not very far away.
It would appear, Emily began thinking, that the road to diplomacy has a few speed bumps on it.
Emily, Charlie and Vaggie went over to where the yelling happened in hopes they could diffuse the situation.
"What's going on here?" Emily asked.
"These two wankers," Trixie began angrily as she pointed towards Cherri and Pentious, "were planning to capture exorcists and sell them into sexual slavery if there was ever a next extermination."
"Is this true?" Vaggie sternly asked the two of them.
"It is," Cherri answered defiantly as she walked to be directly in front of Charlie. "Pentious and I were going to hand them over to Valentino in exchange for him taking time off Angel Dust's contract. You know, the first patron of that hotel you're so proud of. If you knew half the shit Angie puts up with working for that fuck stain, you'd understand that if you really wanted to help him, it would be by getting him out from under Valentino's thumb."
"I agree with you," Charlie said. "Not about capturing and selling exorcists, just so we're clear. But I do have some idea of Angel Dust's working conditions and you are absolutely right that it would be very good for him if you were to get out from under Valentino's thumb."
"So they were planning to do the wrong thing for the right reason," Emily thought out loud in a conflicted tone. "Kind of like how Sera calling off the exterminations because they weren't strategically viable was her doing the right thing for the wrong reason." Emily rubbed forehead frustration. "This is all very confusing."
"I would like to point out," Pentious spoke up, "that Cherri and I were going to return every fifth exorcist we caught to heaven in exchange for leniency while also telling heaven that if they wanted the other exorcistsss back, they should take that up with Valentino. Also, since the exorcistsss never thought hell would be capable of fighting back in a meaningful way, they never formed a treaty regarding the rulesss of engagement. No treaty means nothing's off the table so technically this wouldn't have been a war crime."
"Still really fucked up though," Trixie countered.
"So's a lot of stuff Valentino makes his employees do," Cherri shot back. "Speaking of which, this was actually his idea. He made an open offer for any exorcists brought to him alive and Pentious and I were just willing to take them up on it."
"As someone who has had the displeasure of having to deal with Valentino," Carmilla interjected by speaking to Emily, "I can confirm how that sounds exactly like something he'd do."
"I am unfamiliar with your dialect," Glip-glorp said to Cherri. "Where are you from?"
"Australia," Cherri answered.
"Is that the island with all the monsters?" Glip-glorp asked.
"Probably," Cherri answered.
So much for making a good first impression with the spaceman, Pentious thought.
"Cherri, my dear," Pentious began, "I think we should leave."
"Fine," Cherri indignantly agreed. "After I grab a to-go plate."
"You don't have to leave," Emily said. "What you were planning was excessive but the two of you had every right to want retribution on the exorcists for everything they've done to hell. It's largely a moot point as well since we've made sure there will never be a next extermination."
The angelic guests gave murmurs and conflicted looks at hearing this.
"Once I'm sworn in as heavenly ambassador," Carmilla spoke up, "one of my first official acts will be a conversation with Valentino to be clear that he better not come up with any more ideas about enriching himself at heaven's expense. That is, if he knows what's good for him," Carmela finished with her typical sternness.
The angelic guests gave small murmurs of agreement at hearing this, placated by Carmilla's promise. They all went back to what they were doing earlier.
"That was close," Cherri said aloud. She turned to face Trixie and saw that the feline angel had started walking away from her. "So much for making a new friend," Cherri said in defeat. She then went up to Sir Pentious.
"I am very unhappy about your inability to keep your mouth shut," Cherri said angrily to her boyfriend and then her expression softened. "Fortunately, I have several things in mind for how you can make it up to me."
Pentious gulped at hearing this, unsure of how capable he'd be of withstanding whatever Cherri had in mind.
—
A few days later, Carmilla and Charlie entered Vee's tower. They walked up to the receptionist.
"Tell Valentino," Carmillla began in a commanding tone, "that Princess Morningstar and ambassador Carmine are here to see him. He's expecting us."
The receptionist called to tell Valentino about their arrival and lead the two of them to him. Normally Valentino would not oblige seeing visitors like this but he knew from his limited dealings with Carmilla when she was an overlord that she would continue to be a pain in his ass unless she got an appointment.
They were led to Valentino's office. The receptionist let them in and then went back to the desk.
"I don't suppose," Valentino began, "this meeting is about any interested parties in heaven wanting to collaborate with me?"
"Not even close," Carmilla answered with brutal honesty. "This is about how word has reached us about how you made an open offer to pay for any exorcists brought to you alive in the next extermination."
"If those genocidal cunts didn't want to be made to work for me," Valentino began indignantly, "then they should've stayed away from hell. Besides, it looks like there won't be a next extermination so there's really no problem here."
"Heaven does not see it that way," Carmilla disagreed. "Due to the severity of your plans, heaven feels that you should be punished in the hopes this will discourage you from thinking of trying something like that again."
"And you're relaying these terms because you've sold out all of hell to go work for heaven. I know you and I have never gotten along but don't you have enough pride to not betray hell to those angelic pricks?"
"My loyalty has only ever been to my daughters. Cooperating with heaven increases the likelihood of the exterminations never resuming which is what's best for them so the way I see it, I have never betrayed anybody. But we're getting off topic. I have convinced Heaven that a sufficient punishment will be for you to relinquish ownership of Angel Dust's soul."
"And I suppose if I don't comply you'll smite me," Valentino replied and looked at Charlie. "You're really just gonna stand there while she tries to strong arm one of your people like this?"
"Angel Dust is one of my people too," Charlie retorted. "And seeing as how you're a highly powerful overlord and he's your mistreated employee, he needs my help more. Now to be clear Valentino, I am not going to hand you over to be executed. Simply stand aside and let you, your allies and all of heaven work this out amongst yourselves."
"Bitch, that's not any different," Valentino angrily protested but it was clear that his plea fell on deaf ears. He took a deep breath and recomposed himself before facing Carmilla. "Suppose I were to hand over Angel Dust's soul: what's to stop you from smiting me afterwards?"
"Absolutely nothing," Carmilla answered in a manner-of-fact tone. "Which is also what's stopping us from killing you now and negotiating the release of Angel Dust's soul with its next inheritor."
"Fuck," Valentino groaned. "You win. I'll give up ownership of Angel Dust's soul."
"Pleasure doing business with you," Charlie said enthusiastically, taking complete joy in what this would mean for Angel Dust and not at all thinking about how Valentino was forced a bad deal.
—
A few days later, a small party had been set up in the Hazbin Hotel to celebrate Angel Dust being given back his soul.
A heavenly portal opened up and out stepped Emily along with Glip-glorp and an unexpected person.
"Trixie?" Cherri said out loud at recognizing the feline angel. "What are you doing here?"
"Emily found me after the service," Trixie began, "and pleaded with me that I should give you another chance. I am sorry about how I reacted. Everything's so simple in heaven that I'm used to thinking that two wrongs don't make a right but I forgot that one wrong doesn't make a right either. While what you were planning to do to the exorcists was very bad, I understand it was mostly out of a desire to help your mate. I imagine that kind of friendship is rare in hell."
"It is," Cherri admitted. "I would like to point out that with Angie being given back his soul and the exterminations called off, what Pent and I were planning to do doesn't really matter now."
"Fair enough," Trixie conceited. "How did your friend get his soul back?"
"Way I understand it, "Cherri began to explain, "princess Charlie and ambassador Carmine went up to Valentino and told him that they were pissed off about him offering bounties for any exorcists brought to him alive in the next extermination and demanded he give up ownership of Angie's soul as a show of good faith. Or else."
"I suppose that works," Trixie admitted. "So what do you do here in hell?"
"Hello," Pentious said as he slithered up to Glip-glorp and extended his hand for a handshake that was returned. "I just want to say that it is an honor and a surprise to meet you. Are you from anywhere in space I might be familiar with?"
"Yes actually," Glip-glorp answered. "My planet orbits the largest star in the constellation Cassiopia. Interestingly, earth's star is in one of my culture's constellations. The constellation is meant to represent an animal on my planet that looks like a cross between a lizard and a weasel but with eight legs."
"I have seen many strange life formsss during my time in hell but nothing that strange," Pentious said. "So what exactly brings you here today?"
"I was hoping to talk with Princess Charlie," Glip-glorp began, "about me trying to set up something of a halfway home system in heaven for any redeemed sinners to help them adjust to heaven and know that they are welcome. I know from firsthand experience that it is not fun to get into heaven and be seen as a controversial arrival. What's your connection to the hotel?"
"Indirect," Pentious answered. "I'm dating a friend of the Hotel'sss first patron who this party is for. While I have nothing againssst the hotel's mission, I seriously don't see myself taking part in it."
The partygoers mingled with each other as time went on. Charlie broke out the karaoke machine and the only other interested person was Emily. They both took their turns and were both impressed with the other's signing talent, to Vaggie's discomfort.
Not long after that, Charlie and Sir Pentious went up to Vaggie.
"Hey Vaggie," Charlie woke up to her girlfriend. "Pentious here approached me and offered to sell us some options for beefing up the hotel security. You should know that what he is offering are net launchers that he was planning to use to capture exorcists to help with Cherri's plan to barter them to Valentino in exchange for time off Angel Dust's contract."
"And despite that," Vaggie began, "you're interested in buying them anyway?"
"Yes," Charlie answered. "On one hand, I don't feel comfortable buying these knowing what Pentious originally had planned for them. On the other hand, I think it would be a good idea to have non-lethal options to fall back on if something happens and either Alistor is not here to handle it or we'd rather handle it in a less violent way than he would: especially since it's possible that people might come to the hotel less because they're interested in redemption and more because they want to use it as a sanctuary to escape the consequences of pissing off dangerous people. I'll let you decide as hotel manager whether we buy these or not. Your thoughts?"
"Buy them," Vaggie said. "You are absolutely right about how it would be a good idea to beef up security so that we're less dependent on Alistor. And just because these net launchers were created to do one thing doesn't mean they can't be used for something else."
Like me, Vaggie thought. I was created to kill sinners without hesitation or remorse but I went against that and my life turned out better for it.
"Excellent," Sir Pentious said. "I can even supply you with netsss woven from angelic metal which will negate any abilities a sinner might have that would help them escape. Be warned though: the nets will be very expensive due to the price of angelic metal skyrocketing recently due to the exterminationsss ending and supply lines being cut off."
Which means, Sir Pentious thought, that I will be able to sell the nets for nearly twenty times when I originally paid to procure the material.
"I'm sure we can work something out," Charlie agreed with her usual brand of optimism.
—-
A year had passed and despite what many thought was possible, the truce was going strong between heaven and Hell. Emily was in the home she once shared with Sera. She went up to a small shrine with a picture of Sarah that she had set up in remembrance.
"Hello Sera," Emily said to the shrine, pretending as if her sister could hear her since this was the one year anniversary of Sera's death. "Everything is going well. Charlie's hotel program along with allowing sinners who feel hell is too much for them to arrange suicide appointments at the heaven embassy are serving as adequate population control for hell."
"It was such a great day," Emily continued. "When Charlie's first patron, Angel Dust, became the hotel's first rehabilitated center. From what I heard, I wish I'd been in heaven to see him be reunited with his sister Molly who's been here for decades. From what I understand, it was a beautiful moment."
"Out of gratitude for helping Angel Dust, Cherri Bomb and Sir Pentious have agreed to help the hotel if we ever need it or if they're not too busy being as Cherri put it, 'the baddest power couple in the turf wars'. We haven't needed their help yet, but it's great to know it's there in case that changes."
"It hasn't all been good. Things got weird when we found out about Lilith walking out on her family to take an extended vacation in heaven. And we only found out about that because Adam snitched on her out of bitterness that Charlie starting the hotel led to him getting imprisoned. The way he sees it, if not for her hotel idea, you'd have continued to back the exterminations due to not having an alternative so he decided to get some kind of revenge on Charlie by airing out her mom's dirty laundry. It looks like he succeeded because right now, the odds of Charlie and her father wanting anything to do with Lilith are very low."
"Back to good news: Carmilla has been doing an excellent job as the new heavenly ambassador. Admittedly, Adam set a very low bar for her to clear. About two months ago, she got married to her longtime ally Zestial. It was a beautiful ceremony and served as a great symbol of improved relations between heaven and hell."
Emily took a deep breath as she write herself for what was about to come next.
"Speaking of improved relations," Emily continued, "I've gotten along really well with Charlie and Vaggie. So well that they invited me into their relationship. I imagine you would take issue with how untraditional that is to which I would say that traditional monogamy probably started as a side effect of the natural symmetry of male and female genitals and that doesn't apply with all three of us being girls. I am very happy with them and I like to think that would be enough for you."
"Those close to Charlie are very accepting of us. That's probably because of all the debauchery going on in hell that a little polyamory doesn't even show up as a blip on their radar. The worst we've had to deal with is Lucifer semi-jokingly saying that Charlie is using her status as princess of hell to start her own harem and that marriage laws in hell are very loose."
Emily kissed two of her fingers and placed the fingers on the picture of Sarah.
"I love you," Emily said to the picture dnd left to continue working alongside Charlie and Vaggie at what was now considered the flagship location of the Hazbin Hotel.
—
Author's notes: rather than ignoring the stuff with Lilith that's been set up for season 2, I decided to be vague and say that stuff happened with that off screen.
You might think that it is a major oversight on Adam's part that he didn't consider how Vaggie knew about the asteroid base. Adam had no reason to believe that Vaggie would expose herself as a former exorcist to stop him. Also, Adam's decision making in the actual show doesn't seem that great. Case in point: by attacking the hotel, he got Lucifer to come after him which softened him up enough for Niffty to get in the killing blow.