Maes and Gracia are lucky.

It's almost funny, how they get everything they've ever wanted, how they get the perfect fairy-tale wedding. The choice of best man and maid of honor are even funnier, not that many of the guests understand the irony of these choices.

The day of their wedding is so hard, that, for a moment, Riza considers not going. She considers running away after the bachelorette party, going back to the little town where she grew up for a weekend, spending her time with ghosts instead of living human beings. She knows, though, that Maes and Gracia will be hurt if she runs, and she can't do that to them, no matter how hard this is for her. It doesn't matter that she has to pretend that nothing's wrong. It doesn't matter that she has to smile and pretend that the only thing on her mind is her happiness for her friends. It doesn't matter that she wishes, more than anything, that she's the one getting married to the best man.

—-

Roy's a little surprised that he doesn't feel like getting drunk the night before the wedding. Getting drunk is usually a good pastime for him, especially in the last eighteen months, since Ishbal.

But, he didn't feel like getting drunk, so he can't even pretend to have a hangover, which just makes this whole ridiculous affair even more unbearable.

Maes gets to give his love a ring today.

Roy had to return the ring that he bought before he ever got to ask the question.

—-

It's been months since she ended their relationship. Long, agonizing months, and they haven't spoken to each other more than a handful of times in those months. Riza hates working under Hakuro, and there have been times when she's considered actually transferring to another city. Part of the reason she doesn't is because she's selfish. She can't imagine not being at least in the same city as Roy. The other part is because she's made a promise. She won't be able to help support Mustang's career if she's not part of the action. She won't be able to continue to relay information to Hughes under the guise of her friendship with his new wife.

When the wedding march begins to play, Roy finds it just a bit too easy to imagine that Riza is walking towards him. She's stunning in the high-backed, cream colored dress that Gracia picked out. Her short "boy-cut" hair somehow looks softer, more feminine. Their eyes meet as she approaches the altar, and she gives him a ghost of a smile, almost shyly. It's the first time he's seen her smile at all since….

Part of him still wonders if he has made the wrong decisions. Maybe he should have just agreed to let her work with him and see what happened. Maybe he should have pulled the ring out of his pocket and discovered for sure if asking the question would have changed her mind. He still wonders if she cried once he left. Part of him is sure that she did and wishes that she had let him see her tears and comfort her. Another part is glad that she kept up her strong front until he left, because he's not sure he could have taken it. Riza's strong. She almost never cried, even as a child. He can count on his fingers the number of times he's seen her truly cry. He blames himself for most of them.

Riza takes her place with the other bridesmaids, and everyone's attention turns to Gracia as she begins her walk down the aisle. She's gorgeous, and Roy can't help but smile as he glances over at Maes, happy to see the look of complete awe and joy on his best friend's face. Maybe this day won't be so bad after all. At least someone can be happy, even if they can't.

—-

The reception goes well. It's one of the best parties that Central has seen in a long time, and everyone is happy to celebrate the marriage of two people who are so obviously in love. No one seems to notice that the maid of honor and the best man are studiously avoiding one another.

It's too hard, they both think, to remember that this day isn't for them. It's too hard to keep up the premise that they barely know each other, so it's better if they just keep their distance from one another as much as possible. They only have to get through this one day. They can handle it, then go back to crossing the hall if they see each other coming at a distance, trying to pretend they've never met, never spoken.

When the dancing begins, Roy catches her eye. It's their duty, as maid of honor and best man, to dance together. But, still, she knows that he won't approach without her permission. She smiles a little and nods slightly, then turns to get herself a drink before he comes to whisk her onto the dance floor. This will be easier if she has some alcohol in her system. Roy has the same idea, pulling a little flask from his inside pocket. He always comes prepared.

He comes up behind her, his voice soft in her ear.

"May I have this dance, Sergeant?" His hand rests against her hip, and he doesn't miss her sharp intake of breath. Riza turns and smiles politely.

"Of course, Sir."

It's so easy, so natural, to fall into each other's arms. The music seems to sweep them away, and before they know it, the rest of the world has fallen away, and they are staring into one another's eyes, bodies pressed tightly together, closer to each other than they've allowed themselves to be in so long. It's a good thing that no one's watching, because anyone who saw them now would have no doubt of their love. It's obvious in the way they look at each other.

When the dance ends, they part with the customary bow and curtsy, but then Roy can't help but take her hand, pressing his lips to her knuckles. Their eyes meet again, the heat between them undeniable in that moment. She turns away quickly once he releases her, suddenly very thankful for the open bar.

—-

They are both quite drunk by the time the reception is winding down. Fortunately, they were somehow able to avoid the bouquet and garter toss. They've managed to avoid each other since their dance, but they meet at the coat rack on their way out.

Roy gets both of their coats. He quickly shrugs on his own, before holding hers out for her, always the gentleman. She slips into it without a word, and they walk out together.

Neither one would be quite sure how it happened in the years to come. Maybe they were both just too intoxicated, too lonely. Maybe it was the wedding, maybe it was the dress, or maybe it was just fate.

—-

When they wake up the next morning, they both have hangovers. Riza wishes she had been too drunk to remember, but she wasn't, and she does. She remembers every kiss, every touch, every sigh and groan of pleasure. She remembers them exchanging whispered words of love, remembers him holding her afterwards, so gently. She remembers him tracing the remnants of the tattoo on her back, first with his fingers, then with his tongue as she shivered beneath him, which just led to another hour awake between the sheets. She remembers falling asleep in his arms, and she remembers that this is the first night in months that she's slept through the night.

The worst part of it is that Roy remembers, too. He's there, already awake, still holding her when she rouses. They lay in silence for a long time.

"This was a mistake," she says finally.

Roy sighs.

"I know."

"It can't happen again."

"I know."

There's a long pause, but then she turns to face him.

"I'm not sorry," she says, her eyes burning. "I know it was a mistake, but I'm not sorry we did it. I'm sorry that we can't have what Maes and Gracia have, but I'm not sorry about last night. I know it can't happen again, but I'm not going to apologize for spending one night with you. I can't."

Roy pulls her close, and she rests her head against his chest. He drops a kiss to the top of her head.

"I know. I'm…not sorry, either," he says.

They stay there, holding each other for a long time, before Riza finally moves.

"I should go," she says softly.

Roy sighs again.

"I-," she hesitates, but continues, "I don't want things to be awkward between us anymore."

Roy looks at her, frowning.

"I thought about putting in a request for a transfer," Riza continues, "Maybe to Eastern." She feels him tense at that, but continues on, "But I'm not going to. I think we need each other." There's another long silence. "I'm Hughes' informant," she admits, but still he's silent, and now she's starting to get annoyed. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"What do you want me to say?" Roy asks, the old anger flaring up. "You want me to say that this is easy? You want me to say that it's okay? It's not easy, and it's sure as hell not okay with me. I hate that things have to be this way. I hate feeling that the way I feel about you is wrong, when I know that it's so right, but there's nothing we can do!" He runs a hand through his hair in frustration. "I do need you," he whispers. "And I've known you were passing information to Hughes, almost from the start."

"Put in a request," she says after a moment. "Request that I be placed under your command. I won't refuse."

"I never wanted that,' Roy says, but the argument has worn thin.

"And you never asked it of me," Riza reiterates. "But I owe it to the people I've killed to do the best I can for this country, to try to fight for change. Just like you do." She sighs wistfully. "You're that change, Roy. It's not about us. Give me the chance to fight alongside you instead of against you."

—-

Riza reports to Roy's office on Monday morning, bright and early. She smiles at the two subordinates who sit in the outer office, trying to match faces with what she knows about each man, and wonders if maybe it won't be so bad after all to work here. She hopes that she's gotten through to Roy this time, that he'll actually let her do her job, and that he won't be side-tracked by their personal feelings. She's determined that she, at least, won't be.

She knocks sharply on his door, then enters, salute at the ready.

"Sargeant Hawkeye, sir, reporting as ordered."

He stares at her from behind his desk, and she reads his eyes, because he can't say what he really wants. He's asking again, if she's sure that she can do this. Riza has her answer ready. She'll do whatever she has to do from now on. Because his dream is more important than anything else. He has to become the fuhrer. And she can protect him until he reaches that goal.

"Despite what you went through in Ishbal, you still choose this path?" Roy says softly. Part of him wants her to take the out he's supplying. She can drop out of the military, be his wife and his silent support. But he knows, now, she can't do that.

"Yes, sir. I made the decision to wear this uniform out of my own free will." Just like you did, she thinks.

Roy resists a smirk and rifles through her paperwork.

"What is your area of expertise?" he asks, a formality. Riza smiles inwardly. As if he doesn't already know. He's just trying to lengthen their conversation, to give her more time to walk away.

"Guns," Riza says simply. "I like guns. Because they're not like swords and knives. The sense of death doesn't linger on the hands."

He looks startled at her words for a moment, and Riza wonders if she's come on too strong. Then, he smiles sadly and shakes his head.

"That's just self-deception. Are you lying to yourself so that you may continue to soil your hands?" Roy asks, almost taunting her, seeing just how far he can push before she walks away. The peace between them is new and fragile, so he has to test the waters.

"Yes, sir," Riza says firmly. She won't let him play this game, won't let him chase her away. "We soldiers should be the only ones with blood on our hands. No one else should have to go through what we did in Ishbal." It's like she's reminding him that she's just as guilty as he is, and Roy gets it. She has to stay a part of the fight, desperately needs to be a part of the solution because she's responsible for a part of the problem, just like him.

Riza continues, "If the world can be expressed through equivalent exchange as the alchemists claim… then for future generations to be happy… as payment we must carry corpses on our backs across a river of blood."

Roy closes his eyes tightly, forcing himself to accept this. It's her decision to be a part of the military, to support him. He can't stop her, and he knows that now, so he's going to accept it, because if he doesn't he'll lose her for good. He can't lose her.

He slams his hands on his desk, standing. For one wild moment, Riza thinks he's going to kiss her, but, instead, his words surprise her.

"I'm going to make you my assistant," he says. She'll be an integral part of the team, now. He can't do this without her. "I would like you to watch my back," he continues, eyes meeting hers, communicating silently. He can't always be there for her, he can't love her the way he wants, but he can give her his respect and his trust. He wouldn't trust anyone else with the power he's about to bestow on her.

"Do you understand?" he clarifies, because he has to be sure that she understands the meaning behind the words. "Being entrusted with my back means that you may also shoot me in the back at any time. If I ever stray from the correct path, shoot me with your own hands. You have that right."

He needs her, because he knows that she'll follow through with this promise. He's seen what ultimate power can do, and he never wants to become that. So, he needs someone to keep him in check, and he knows that Riza will do it if she has to. He can't trust this to anyone else.

"Do you accept?"

Riza nods and closes her eyes.

"I do, sir," she says. "I will follow you into Hell if you ask me." What she doesn't say is shouted from her eyes. I love you that much. If you ever stray, I'll take your life and follow with my own, because if you stray, I won't have done my job, and I won't deserve life anymore than you do. And thank you for trusting me. Thank you for letting me do my part.

"At ease, soldier," Roy says then, standing and offering her his hand to shake. Professional. She only just manages not to sigh at the feeling of his warm skin against hers….

"Well, down to business," Roy says, sitting again and gesturing that she should do the same. "First of all, I want to congratulate you on your promotion." He pulls a black velvet box from his desk drawer and handed it to her.

Riza opened it to see the gold bars of a Second Lieutenant. It's not the jewelry he once wanted to give her, but it's all he's got for now.

"Your former CO should have given this to you, technically," Mustang continues, "but I convinced him to let me have the honors. Think of it as a 'welcome to the team.'"

"I am honored, sir," Riza responds, bowing her head respectfully.

"Just about everyone on my team is getting promotions, myself included," Roy says with a shrug. She looks up to see that he now wears the rank of Lieutenant Colonel.

"Congratulations, sir," she said. "I hadn't heard."

"Thank you."

They stare at each other for a minute.

"Well," Roy says finally, placing his palms on his desk and standing again. Riza stands, too. "Feel free to introduce yourself to the boys. It's just Havoc and Falman out there right now, I think, but the rest of them should be in soon. We've got a new man named Fuery transferring in to the office soon, too."

"Thank you again, sir," Riza says with another salute.

"Of course."

—-

Things change after that, slowly. She's surprised, ultimately, at how easy it is to work together. She starts to harass him about his paperwork. They start going to lunch together. When her birthday comes around, she finds an anonymous bouquet of calla lilies outside her door. On Valentine's, the only card he doesn't throw away is the one that isn't signed, but comes with a small tin of homemade chocolate lemon squares. Over the years, they find ways to show each other that theirs is still more than a working relationship. No one knows that they live for each other. No one knows that they share stolen kisses in the dead of night when no one else is watching. No one knows how much they love each other, but they do.

It may have been a mistake, that one night, but if they hadn't made it, they might have lost each other forever.