Chapter Five
Traditionally graveyards were not the easiest places to be for most people, but it was actually worse than Emma Swan.
As strange as it was, the cemetery was the place where she'd spent a lot of time with Regina Mills.
She could almost pretend that she and her mother were weaving their way through the headstones of people who may or may not have existed at some point on their way to Regina's vault.
There, Emma would learn a new random fact about magic that would either save or destroy the town but at least she would get to see the cute crinkle in the mayor's brow as she concentrated on their latest crisis.
There was no need to go all the way to the vault on this occasion, not when the decision was made that the woman would prefer the space to remain dedicated to her parents.
Some discussions were had about the contents of the vault but as dangerous as it all was, the townspeople were comforted by the protection spells that Regina placed around it before they left and by the fact that it would all go to Henry when he turned eighteen along with the rest of his assets.
Considering that he was barely able to go into the mansion, it didn't seem likely that they should expect the vault to be of use anytime soon.
It was exactly where Emma wished her mother was leading her today, however, they came to a stop just shy of the imposing structure, in front of the newest headstone.
Emma blew out a hard breath as pain settled in her chest while she read the beautifully rendered lettering that was no doubt chosen by Henry:
'Regina Mills - Loving daughter, mother and a savior of Storybrooke'.
"I don't know if I can do this," Emma admitted and Snow slung an arm around her daughter.
"You don't have to do anything until you're ready," she assured.
Emma fiddled with the phial and stared at her True Love's name. Was it fair that she was the reluctant one here?
Grief was so much easier when she didn't know exactly what they were going through. At least with Neal she now knew that he was definitely in a better place.
"No…I…need to talk to her," Emma said, "But do you think I could get some privacy?"
"Of course," Snow replied, dropping a kiss to her daughter's cheek, "Just call out if you need me?"
Emma nodded and counted to five until she dropped to sit cross-legged at the end of the grave continuing to pass the phial from hand-to-hand.
"Okay Gina," she muttered, "Here it goes."
She popped the cork off and poured the liquid into the fresh dirt before she could change her mind and then waited.
For a couple of seconds, she thought it didn't work and a part of her was ashamedly relieved.
It meant that she wouldn't have to see what Hades meant by torture.
The air shimmered though and Emma's heart raced as it flickered into a deceptively solid looking form.
Emma very nearly burst into tears right there, all she wanted was to scoop up her prone form and carry her to the hospital, but she was also very aware of the fact that wasn't possible.
All she could do instead was take inventory of her injuries.
Her arms were pinned above her head so she was probably chained, her face was littered with bruises and her nose appeared a little bent.
Regina blinked and attempted to pull herself up as a tear finally spilled down Emma's cheek. She had never seen Regina so downtrodden and she hadn't thought that it was at all possible.
"Oh my god," Emma murmured, coming short of actually trying to touch the former queen would actually bring either of them comfort.
"Emma?" Regina croaked and her voice summoned another tear from the saviour, "Am I hallucinating?"
"No, I used the Dun Broch stuff," Emma said, gesturing unnecessarily with the empty phial, unable to take her eyes from her True Love.
"Is…Henry okay?" Regina asked, refusing eye contact until Emma made her reply.
"No, he isn't. He's devastated, Regina. His mom is…dead…"
"Please tell him that I am sorry and that I miss him too? I didn't for a second think that…" Regina sighed.
"Think I could love you?" Emma asked, not meaning for it to come out as an accusation.
The pair shared a meaningful stare until Regina replied, "I did not think that I deserved it."
"You definitely did," Emma sniffed.
"So…you really do…"
"Love you? Yeah I do. If I thought that you felt the same way I would have never…" Emma began passionately but trailed off as she searched for something sufficient for what she wanted to have happened.
"Made that deal with Hades?" Regina supplied, wincing as she shifted and Emma wasn't sure whether she wanted to see what bruises her shirt must have been obscuring.
"Gone to the Underworld at all, if we were…you know…we probably never needed to go at all," Emma lamented.
Regina smiled weakly at what could have been but said, "Promise me something, Emma?"
"Anything," the saviour said eagerly.
"Don't try to save me."
Emma's eagerness was crushed under the request and she slumped markedly, "But…"
"I can't have Henry's remaining parent obsessed with revenge, that cycle has to stop and I refuse to allow you to trade anyone for me," Regina replied.
"You're being tortured," Emma argued.
"It's nothing I can't handle," Regina said, probably hoping that her cracking voice sounded reassuring.
"Well…can you at least deal with your unfinished business and try to move on? Somewhere better?" Emma begged.
"I have more than my fair share of unfinished business, I'm afraid that I wouldn't know where to start," Regina sighed.
"In Neverland, you said you had no regrets?" Emma countered.
"And I believe that the root of a lot of my unfinished business was my ability to lie, even to myself. Please don't worry about me, try to move on and be happy with Hook?"
"We broke up," Emma admitted worriedly and Emma bit her lip, expecting something similar to Henry's reaction to the news.
After all, the pirate was the reason that she was chained in the Underworld and riddled with injuries.
Instead, Regina smiled, one of those wide genuine smiles that had Emma's heart soar, especially now that she knew that it meant love.
"That is fantastic," Regina replied, "but you could move on with literally anyone else?"
"But…you're my True Love, what's the point of moving on?" Emma asked, her shoulders slumping hard.
"Love always has a point. Just promise me you'll try and focus on that more than the pain," Regina replied, "Can you do that for our son's sake?"
"I'm more focused on your pain right now," Emma said, hissing as her hand ghosted over her bruised cheek and her image shimmered under her failure to touch the woman who wasn't actually there.
"It looks worse than it is," Regina said, smiling tightly, "Hades is just trying to make a point. I'm sure he'll get bored soon and move onto his next project."
Emma swallowed thickly, it went against everything that she had learned as the saviour but she replied, "Okay, I promise."
Regina inclined her head, openly staring at the other woman in a way that she must have hidden in the past. If Emma had noticed it before, she definitely would have kissed the mayor a long time ago.
Her stomach lurched as her form flickered and at the same moment, a gasp hit them from behind Emma.
"Oh Regina," came a soft, pained voice and Emma glanced over to her mother whose face was scrunched in distress.
"Snow," Regina said and the tone could almost be reassuring if it wasn't for her appearance.
The former queen flickered again and Snow said, unsurely, "Are you…"
"Please look after our family?" Regina asked, cutting her off.
"I will," Snow breathed and the older woman returned her gaze to Emma as she flicked more insistently.
Words tumbled from Emma's mouth before she could allow herself to overthink it too much, "I love you, Regina."
Just as her spirit left the physical world, Regina managed to reply, reverently, "I love you too, Emma."
Emma launched forward, falling flat down on the fresh dirt which she dug her fingers into as she released a sob.
Seeing Regina should have done something monumental, surely. It should have bought her some modicum of closure maybe?
Only then did it occur to Emma that she had failed to apologsie to the woman she loved. She'd only confirmed what Henry had already told her, Regina loved her far more than she deserved.
None of that changed that Regina's body was laid to rest six feet underneath her and there was nothing in the world that would make that okay.
A hand pulled her up so that she was again sat at the end of the grave but she promptly crumpled against her mother.
"She looks like…" Snow said, distantly.
"Like she's being tortured by Hades," Emma said hollowly.
"We'll find a way to…"
"She asked me not to save her, she said she wants me to focus on being happy," Emma sniffed, unable to imagine how she would go about doing that.
"And you're going to listen to her," Snow asked doubtfully.
"I have to, I promised."
"And I promised to look after our family as I'm not giving up," Snow said resolutely.
It was the kind of passion that she wished she could have predicted from her mother. If her younger self knew that she would care so much about Regina's place in her family, perhaps she wouldn't have toiled over being in love with her parents' arch nemesis?
It meant that she could sit and cry openly at Regina's grave in her mother's arms, who also had wetness on her cheeks.
S
Emma and Snow stayed at Regina's grave for an hour, at one point Snow was orgnaising the many flowers laid around it, but it was mostly Emma in disbelief over the name on the inscription.
How was any of this possible? How could it be that Regina Mills loved her and that she was also gone?
Snow's assertion that she would find another way should have assured Emma that she shouldn't feel like her world was ending but it just didn't feel like there was a way.
Wasn't the price they paid for Hook proof of that? WHat they did was not natural and Hades made sure that they paid the price.
Emma couldn't imagine how it could get any worse but she hadn't pictured that something like this could happen.
It was for this reason that she allowed her mother to go off to meet Belle for their standing research meeting.
She could see herself becoming a hermit if she went home so only one place felt appropriate to try and shake off the tendrils of grief and affection that were tightening around her as she recalled every aspect of her discussion with Regina.
In particular, it was the 'I love you, Emma' that she never wanted to forget, by all accounts, it would be the only time she would hear it until they met again in the Underworld.
The need to remember deterred her from ordering a line of shots the moment she entered Granny's, so she went for hot cocoa instead, barely reacting to Ruby's comforting hand on her forearm.
Was her despair written clearly across her face?
She didn't much care if the townspeople knew that she was upset about the death of her True Love, so what if her eyes were puffy and bloodshot?
It didn't take long for her to receive the drink that she prayed would make her feel warm for at least a second.
She was looking for the most secluded booth and was relieved to find it already occupied by a friendly face.
Henry offered her a smile that made her sure he wouldn't mind her company and she came over to see Henry had the same idea about ordering hot cocoa.
If his slumped demeanour was anything to go by, it wasn't helping much.
She slipped into the booth opposite him and returned his weak smile.
"Hey kid, you okay?" she asked, at least reaching up to try and wipe her face though she knew that Henry was the one person who wouldn't give her the pity that she hated.
There was naturally something pressing on his mind though.
Leaning forward, he disregarded the question he had been asked multiple times an hour and said, "Did you see her?"
Emma shifted, images of Regina's bruised face newly imprinted in her mind.
"I did," she replied.
"How is she?" he rushed out, probably hoping for some tangible comfort. She could do that for him, right? Tell him that Hades had already gotten bored and now Regina was just another citizen of Underbrooke?
That she was separated from her family but not in physical pain.
"She's…" she started.
"Please don't lie to me, ma?" Henry cut her off, disappointment blooming on his face.
Was he developing a superpower too? Could he sense a lit before it happened or was she just too predictable?
After a deep breath of cinnamon, she said, "You remember what Hook looked like when we tried to summon him?"
"Yeah," Henry replied, apprehensively.
"A lot like that," Emma admitted.
Henry threw his face into his hands with a sigh, not picking up on the hot cocoa spilling around him until Emma pulled the mug away. She could spout all of the platitudes about how his mother was strong, that the woman had always handled whatever was thrown at her but she knew first hand how little that helped.
Instead, she went for words from the source herself, "Your mom said that she missed you too. She's sorry that she didn't listen to you."
Henry stiffened but did bring his hands down.
"Do you think she'll deal with her unfinished business?" he asked resignedly.
"You want her to move on?" Emma frowned.
"I can't live with her being tortured forever!" he said, his voice raising.
Emma didn't bother looking around to make sure they had no eavesdroppers. The patrons had to be used to the emotional discussions by now, besides she wasn't going to tell her son that he could only express his grief in private for the comfort of others.
"She told me not to worry about her, that we should focus on being happy."
Henry released a reluctant laugh and replied, "That sounds like her. I just wish she wasn't so alone down there…"
Emma puffed out her cheeks, nodding in agreement before a thought occurred to her, "Cora didn't move on, right?"
Henry looked back doubtfully, "You think her mom would help her?"
Emma shrugged, not very convinced either, "She has her heart…she'll care about her daughter being hurt, right?"
"It's hard to tell with her…she seemed like she cared when she tried to send gramps away?" Henry pondered.
Suddenly quiet, Emma fiddled with her mug until she asked, "Do you think he would have moved on if he knew what was going to happen?"
She could see a very angry Prince Henry when her time came, not that she wouldn't agree that the anger wouldn't be deserved.
"He said he was proud of her, I am too. She chose to help for love."
"She could have chosen love sooner, we both could have," Emma said in close to a whispered, renewed tears almost escaping.
"Ma, come on," Henry insisted, "It's one's fault but Hades. He's the one who did all of this."
Emma wholeheartedly disagreed but saw no reason to tell her son that.
There was nothing he could say to convince her now. With the benefit of hindsight, she saw that Hades' deal was actually a thinly veiled threat.
That he'd used her inability to communicate against them. That if they'd talked at any point the way that they did at the grave, everything would have been okay.
Hook had pointed out that she tended to wait for life or death situations to proclaim her love but when it came to her True Love, she had waited until after her heart blew to dust in the Underworld.
"Shame I can't punch him in the face," Emma thought aloud.
"I'm sure that mom will any day now," Henry replied.
Despite everything, Emma smiled at the mental image he conjured.
Aware that their conversation would drift back to Regina rather promptly, she asked, "You hungry, kid?"
"I guess I could try and eat," he replied and Emma raised a hand to ask for their usuals as she prepared to recount everything that Regina had said.