Chapter Eight
Regina Mills didn't think she would ever yearn for another crisis.
While dealing with Lost Boys with their pointy sticks, her late sister commanding flying monkeys and an amnesiac Snow Queen, she wanted nothing more than for the town she created to remain sleepy for perhaps a week or two. This was especially true after her son had his memories returned and was back in her life officially.
This desire was dampened by what became of her love life following being introduced to her soulmate.
She really did try to feel for him what it seemed like it did for her and she truly enjoyed his company but not in the same way as she…well as she did a certain saviour's.
Telling Emma felt impossible no matter how much she wanted to with each smile they shared.
By all indications, she should hate those eerily green eyes, and the million other similarities that she had in common with the Charmings but the years of wilfully ignoring the same genetic traits in her son in order to remain ignorant of Rumplestiltskin's plans meant that she could no longer hold that kind of hatred towards her former enemies's daughter, at least not on an instinctual level.
This attraction was overwritten at their first meeting by her need to destroy the potential threat to her family.
Things couldn't be more different now, if she was to somehow manage to get Emma Swan to leave her town, she would be dismantling the strange family dynamic that had formed post-curse.
She tried to be angry at the saviour for bringing Maid Marian back from the past, certain that was how she was supposed to feel about the person who would return with her soulmate's wife.
Ultimately, she found herself more angry at the universe in general.
How was it fair that the woman she craved so badly to kiss was the one who ended her doomed relationship while she was also entering into her own with Captain Hook?
Forgiving Emma was easy, falling back into friendship with her was easy because avoiding her was more difficult than the alternative.
Witnessing her openly kissing her boyfriend in public, bearing no sign that she was only with the pirate since he was the only one who displayed overt interest, was what drove her to the vault, wishing for a crisis to perform research for.
The benefits would be two-fold, it would give her something to occupy her mind with and would more than likely reduce the frequency of PDA between the saviour and her boyfriend.
A crisis would give Emma Swan limited time to be all lovey-dovey, assuming that she wasn't like a classic Charming while in a relationship.
It was for this reason that she instead opted to organise her books…again.
As she weighed up whether a spell book from Camelot belonged with legend or folklore (her current organisation method of the week), she failed to register the squeaking of sneakers.
It wasn't long ago that Henry Mills even knowing about this place would have terrified her and had her trying to come up with a benign way to explain it away, but now she wasn't fazed at all by his presence as he bounded towards her, proudly holding the storybook he used to go to great lengths to hide from her.
It wasn't as though he was going to find her scheming down here anyway…at least, not anymore.
"I think I found something!" he announced.
Abandoning the book onto the legend pile, she turned to give the boy her full attention.
"Hello, Henry," she greeted.
"Hi Mom," he rushed out, finding an empty surface to place his books onto, sifting through the pages.
Trying not to openly sigh, Regina approached his side as he flipped the pages, not taking in what he was attempting to locate with such fervour, she prodded, "What have you found this something for?"
Henry tilted his head at her disbelievingly and Regina predicted his words before he formed them, "Operation Mongoose, obviously!"
This was enough to draw out the sigh lodged in her chest, "Did we not agree to retire that particular operation?"
Henry huffed in a manner strikingly similar to her sigh and retorted, "No, you agreed but you can't give up, Mom! You deserve to be happy."
Unable to argue with passion, mostly because there was a time when Henry wouldn't have expressed such an opinion, Regina relented, "What is it that you have found?"
Perking up, Henry finished finding the pages illustrated with a puppet, the page itself a slightly different colour than the others.
"I was thinking, August took the book apart to add his story so he must have known how it works, we should talk to him."
If this was when she had agreed to partake in the operation, when Emma was smiling so radiantly at her she would have been overcome by a burst of excitement at the tangible lead.
Now, she had extensively imagined what she wanted her happy ending to be and none of that could be real when the person involved in those fantasies appeared suitably besotted and on her way to her own happy ending.
This all made Operation Mongoose moot but telling Henry this was liable to launch a whole other operation that the boy was unlikely to ever drop.
She attempted another method to deter him, even if logic was never the best way to convince her son historically, "Pinocchio does not remember being August, Henry, it would be pointless to question him."
"We could still try," he insisted, palming the pages of the book so integral to his life.
No doubt, he didn't want to admit that it didn't hold all of the answers to life's deepest questions.
Regina passed her hand through her hair, hoping that her exasperation did not come off as ingratitude for his hard work, "To achieve what?"
"To find the Author," Henry said, "He can give you your happy ending. We can convince him that Robin should come home."
Despite all of the jealousy and its tendency to force her to find refuge in solitude, Regina was gripped by a flash of panic at the notion that she could be expected to once again enter back into a relationship dictated by pixie dust rather than any real feelings.
She couldn't be with a person out of obligation, not ever again.
It was this that forced out another explanation that could hopefully end Operation Mongoose without starting a part two.
Turning away from the book to lean against the side, she said what she had accepted not long after her soulmate had crossed the town line, "Robin…he lives in New York now with his family. He and Marian are happy, it would not be very heroic to interfere with that, would it?"
Henry frowned, presumably weighing up the morals of this choice before he questioned, "But…Marian isn't supposed to be here, right? And Robin Hood is your soulmate, you need to fight for…"
Regina bit her tongue until she made a snap decision to voice the best way to put an end to this; the truth.
"What if that is no longer the case?"
This did nothing for the boy's frown, though he did also turn away from the counter, crossing his arms.
"Why wouldn't it be?" he asked.
"Henry…I was eighteen when Tinkerbell used that dust," she said, "I am a very different person now than I was now."
Henry tilted his head and drew his eyebrows together at the same time, "I don't get it, don't you love Robin?"
Regina also crossed her arms.
Explaining this was the last thing she wanted to do but she supposed that it was important to teach him not to settle when it came to romance, no matter how magical it all seemed, he needed to know the difference between feelings he should have and those that were real.
Regardless of how unnatural all this honesty still was to her, she said, slowly as to carefully measure her words, "I am…fond of him and I certainly enjoyed his company while he was here but…I have not found myself missing him as much as I thought I would."
Henry narrowed his eyes, less out of suspicion and more because she must have just shattered every perception he had about the efficacy of pixie dust.
Regina anticipated a follow-up question about that and she would need to retrieve the book that detailed the difference between soulmates and True Love.
It was one that she'd almost memorised at this point.
Instead, he asked, as sure as he always was, "Who do you want to be with then?"
Regina's cheeks heated as her mind conjured the answer in the form of Sheriff Swan sitting behind her desk, her legs on the surface as she revelled in the Bearclaw the mayor had bribed her with to get the crime report.
"I did not say I wanted…" she spluttered.
"Mom, you're blushing," Henry interjected.
Regina splayed her hand across her hot cheeks before she removed them and replied, shaking her head, "You have spent far too much time with your mother."
"Mom, please," he implored, pushing forward to stand in front of her, "I know you wouldn't give up on Robin unless you had feelings for someone else. You act differently when you're in love, I've noticed."
Regina was again hit with a series of logic that reasoned that he'd never seen her in a relationship in which she was irrevocably in love. She wasn't quite sure that she remembered what that felt like.
The problem was not that he was very much right now that she thought about it, but luckily friendship helpfully explained away her change in attitude toward the saviour.
"I will not deny that you are right, Henry but I am not sure that telling you would help anyone," she said, diplomatically.
"Come on, Mom," the Truest Believer almost whined, "We're supposed to be a team on Operation Mongoose, right?"
Regina pressed a finger to her temple and regarded the boy, struck by how much taller he had gotten.
She'd accrued more friends than she'd ever expected to, especially after casting the Dark Curse, but the boy standing before her was indisputably her family.
If she couldn't confide in her best friend, why not him when he'd expressed such an interest in her happy ending?
Plus, saying it out loud could plausibly assist with her desire to get over these extremely inconvenient feelings.
Hesitating only a moment as she weighed up her options, she said, "Sit down, Henry."
Henry obediently followed her outstretched hand to the stone beneath, promptly looking at her expectantly as she joined him, "I will tell you, but you must promise me that it will be the end of Operation Mongoose."
"Okay," Henry replied, cautiously.
Smoothing out her pants, Regina said, "For some time now I have found myself having unexpected feelings for…someone and I have accepted that there is nothing I can do about them. But I do not want to pursue anything else until this has settled."
"But why have you accepted that nothing will happen?" Henry replied quickly.
"Because," Regina sighed, "She is in a relationship, one that she is happy in by all indications."
Henry went to object before he paused and repeated, "She?"
It took a concerted effort to not let her eyes widen as she was hit by the significance of this moment.
Her bisexuality was not something that she had ever made an effort to hide but Henry had only been privy to one of her relationships, so it had never cropped up before.
She'd never really thought about how he would react but she was now very aware that she'd just effectively come out of her son.
"Yes," Regna confirmed cautiously, "That is not a problem for you, is it?"
Henry blinked, his genuine confusion causing Regina to flip between worried that it was a problem for him and pride that he was likely running through the short list of Storybrooke women it could be without any concern as to what she'd just revealed.
"No, why would it be?"
Of course, the Truest Believer wouldn't have an issue with any form of love, that would only limit the stories that would become more important in the coming weeks when he would earn the title of Author.
For right now, though, there seemed to be only one happy ending occupying his mind.
"I…it shouldn't be," she said, really smiling at him.
This dropped as soon as he asked, "Is it Emma?"
Her mouth formed a denial but a desire to know why he had come to that conclusion formulated different words entirely, "How could you know that?"
The boy's eyes went wide, but they reduced in size as he went through the process of thinking through the possibility that felt so unattainable to Regina.
Instead, he shifted closer to her, his mouth spreading with his patent excitement.
"It's kind of obvious now that you mention it," he said, almost bouncing to exude his sudden excess energy before he sobered and inquired, "Is that why you don't like Hook?"
"That dislike predates Emma's birth," Regina replied.
"You should tell her!" Henry exploded, shooting to his feet like the height would be more convincing.
Regina circled his forearm and pulled him back down next to her so that she could look him directly in the eyes as she said, emphatically, "Emma is happy with Killian and it has taken a long time for her and I to become at least civil with each other. It wouldn't be worth the risk."
Dragging himself closer, Henry encouraged, "Love isn't a risk, Mom."
Covering his hand with her own, she corrected, "Yes, it is Henry. The question is whether it is worth the risk."
Flabbergasted, Henry was close to gasping, "And you don't think this is?"
Regina momentarily puffed out her cheeks, grateful that she had not picked up on the fact that she had admitted to the depths of how she felt for Emma Swan. The L-word was one she tried hard to squash even in her own mind.
This gratitude ran its course though, her stomach twisting as she proceeded to voice the rationalisation that was allowing her to continue believing that she could deal with never having more, "Not when she is already happy, I value your friendship and our ability to co-parent you."
Nearly pouting, Henry argued, "It would be cool though, we could be a real family."
Images of Swan-Mills domesticity sent a pang to her heart so she had to shift in an attempt to dispel it.
She raised her hand to run through his hair to ground her back in reality before she said, "We are already a real family, Henry. Please promise me that you will not share this with anyone?"
Henry actually did pout but leaned into her as he relented, "I will as long as you promise you'll tell Emma if you ever think she's not happy with Hook?"
Confident that this wouldn't happen, Regina continued to stroke his hair and said, sighing again, "I promise."
S
Regina's reality had come in more incarnations than the girl who just wanted to ride horses could have fathomed.
That naive girl would not have opted to be a queen, sorceress, mayor or an alternate reality bandit, and she most certainly would not have chosen to be a citizen of the Underworld.
Actually, perhaps that wasn't the case if she had known that she would get to see Daniel again.
Every attempt to bring him back was a tragically failed endeavour, but if she'd known she could have joined him…well, it would have been preferable to being with King Leopold.
Of course, this was further complicated by knowing what life would give her on the other side of her misery.
Given the choice, she would have sailed back to Storybrooke with her family and preferably somehow been aware of her True Love's real feelings.
Having her heart torn from her chest put a real damper on that particular revelation.
Wanting this as she and Daniel followed Cora on the way to Underbrooke's diner heralding the most intense guilt she'd ever felt.
Here she was with her first love who'd died because of his connection to her, had been a prisoner of the Underworld in the decades since and she was thinking about the life she had not done anything to deserve.
It was easier to think about Emma Swan than the perpetual teenager walking next to her and staring as if she had become a different species entirely from the girl he had known.
She supposed that wasn't far from the truth with all of the ways that she had changed since they had known each other.
The burning of his gaze made her wish that she had suggested poofing to the diner rather than allowing Cora the time of the walk to centre herself on the way to formally meet her first child.
If she had insisted on this, then Daniel wouldn't have had time to press, presumably after gathering his courage, "May I ask for some of that story now?"
Regina's mind flashed with thousands of starting points that had taken her from love-sick teen to the caster of the Dark Curse but she instead asked, hopefully, "Have you not..spoken with anyone since you arrived here?"
There were so many people in the Underworld who fell victim to the Evil Queen's hunt for Snow White, it wasn't inconceivable that he had heard her legend from one of them and was just teasing out how much she would be willing to share.
That would mitigate the need to tell the whole, painful story.
Unfortunately, he abolished that hope as he replied, looking around Main Street uncomfortably, "I prefer horses, I always have." The innocence incited a pang in Regina's stomach as she again was hung up on how young he was, which wasn't helped as he asked what he must have thought was a less loaded question, "Could you at least tell me how Rocinante is?"
"He…" Regina trailed off seeing the animal she had sacrificed so pointlessly, "It has been about forty years…"
Daniel screeched to a stop to round on her, looking her up and down critically, "How is that possible?"
Regina breathed out, preferring not to think about her actual age, she replied, "I do not think you would believe me if I told you."
Sighing roughly, Daniel implored, "I would prefer that you at least tried."
Licking her dry lips, Regina began to stammer, "I…after your death, I…"
Before she could get the words 'became the Evil Queen, out, she was cut off by a curt summons from yards in front of them, "Regina!"
Daniel thinned his lips in an eerily unDaniel manner as they both looked over to Cora staring back expectantly, uncharacteristically wringing her hands near the diner's entrance.
To Daniel, Regina said, "I promise we will talk, just allow me to mediate their reunion?"
"Why would that be necessary?" Daniel asked as she began to walk towards her mother.
"Zelena…harbours more issues towards her than I do," Regina replied, aware that it hardly did justice to the maternal baggage.
She heard another sigh behind her but Daniel otherwise followed silently until they pushed through the door to be met with the Blind Witch clearing a table near the entrance.
Straightening, her smile twisted into a smirk as she greeted, her attention specifically on the Underworld's newest inhabitant, "Ah, your majesty, I'd heard rumours that you'd joined your victims."
Regina bit her tongue, looking at Daniel to find that his face had crumpled in confusion, though it was unclear whether this was in response to 'Your Majesty' or the mention of 'victims'.
"What is she talking about?" Daniel whispered, keeping his eyes firmly away from the witch.
In his short life, he had not seen anything quite so intimidating, other than the woman he had walked here with that was, but Cora was too busy staring longingly at the back booth to engage in this interaction.
"She had no idea what she is talking about," Regina growled, her fist clenching.
The fist shook as the witch laughed heartily and taunted, "Oh, have I struck a chord, Regina?"
Regina wanted nothing more than to step into her personal space and forcefully convince her that she should shut up, but it also occurred to her that Daniel had never seen her truly angry.
This involuntarily invited the thought that Emma Swan had, more than once, and somehow still loved her.
Glad that the witch couldn't see the blush that this incited, Regina opted to move around her without another word as Cora began drifting towards the target booth.
It took a good two seconds for Daniel to recover and trail after them, remaining a couple of steps behind as they reached the booth.
Zelena was supporting her head on a closed fist, swishing an empty shot glass from side to side before blinking up and taking in the women standing over her.
It had been a strategic effort to avoid her sister during their efforts to find Hook, figuring that the woman who had gone to great lengths to change history so as to erase her sister would not be willing to help in their endeavours.
Finding out that Hades was in love with her only cemented that theory.
Now talking in the dishevelled Wicked Witch of the West, who was not at all revelling in the power that being favoured by the ruler of this domain must have afforded her.
Perhaps death hollowed that particular victory? Or was it more that Hades had seemingly become her only option? Regina could understand how demoralising that situation was to be embroiled in without choice.
Passing over Cora with a twitch in her jaw, Zelena leaned back and mocked, "Gina, I thought you and your merry band had sailed back to that sleepy little town of yours."
Regina clenched her jaw and replied, begging sure not to ignore the various stares from the largely unsavoury crowd, "Hades had other plans for me."
Zelena squinted up at her but there was a notable lack of swaying from the number of empty glasses littering the table, "Not long ago, this would have made me so happy but I find joy difficult to come by these days. Maybe your misery will allow me to move on?"
She scrunched her eyes shut and Regina rolled hers, she had failed to factor in her ability to control her rage around her sister when she had invited Daniel along.
In an effort to speed things along, she cleared her throat and gestured towards her thus far silent mother, announcing, "Zelena…this is…"
Zelena's eyes snapped open, focused primarily on her sister while she bit back, "I know who she is, but seeing as it seems impossible to get so much as buzzed down here, ignoring her seems to be my best option in this miserable place."
"If you had stayed with Hades, I am sure he could do something about that for you," Regina retorted.
"There is something…unromantic about obsessive behaviour," Zelena grumbled.
Regina laughed derisively while Zelena plucked up a shot glass to look into as her younger sister taunted, "That is ironic coming from you!"
Zelena slammed the glass down, standing to glare at Regina, "Hades obviously thought having you here would be the best form of retribution for rejecting him!"
"You are…" Regina started.
"Okay, that is enough!" Cora said to cut them off with a raised voice.
Zelena narrowed her eyes at the Queen of Hearts and drawled, "It's a little late to start parenting now, Mom."
Whatever Cora was going to retort died on her tongue as the pile of glasses flew from the table and the diner echoed with a cacophony of gasps and screams while the entire building shook viciously.
Multiple patrons dropped to the ground as the inexplicable earthquake intensified.
The building around them flickered three times to an endless, bland field until it returned to how it was, the scorching flames in the distance leaving an impression before they were veiled.
Regina blinked, there was not enough time to register what that phenomenon was as she noticed Daniel had landed squarely on his back.
Not overthinking it, she held out her hand to him, asking, "Daniel, are you okay?"
Pressure settled in her chest when he eyed the offered hand but he eventually did take it to pull himself up.
He yanked his hand when he was squarely on his feet, though.
Regina swallowed hard, despite his limited interaction with her thus far, it wasn't difficult to guess what had caused the reaction.
Turning away to not think too much about that painful topic, she caught Zelena batting their mother's hand away before she dragged herself up amidst the broken glass.
Cora cleared her throat, glancing around to make sure that there was no one powerful and indignant present, at least not more than she was.
"What the hell was that?" Cora demanded, no one in particular.
The Fields of Asphodel and Punishment instantly came to Regina but Daniel beat her to the suggestion with solid information, "That is what it looked like before it became a town."
"Before Hades fell for Zelena," Regina postulated.
"Are you blaming me for this?" Zelena huffed, edging dangerously close to whining as Cora rolled her eyes.
"I am not the one who misplaces blame so easily!" Regina retorted.
"I am sure that Snow White would disagree!" Zelena shouted back.
Regina clenched her jaw, looking over her shoulder to find Daniel predictably the most bewildered at the name he recognised.
Zelena would likely be glad to know that she had given him ammo for more specific questions.
The swinging of the diner door tore Regina's attention away from him and her mind blanked in response to the man heading towards her, a strange stiffness in his posture.
Finding Graham had apparently moved on was one of the greatest reliefs she had while she still believed she would be returning to Storybrooke.
Despite no longer being able to access the spite that had overwhelmed her (which was in retrospect fuelled by her attraction to the woman he got to kiss), she vividly remembered the resistance his heart had given before she reduced it to dust.
It wasn't really that long ago and invited her to bite her bottom lip as she was consumed by the irony of her own end.
Unlike the downward spiral of his final days, Graham was astoundingly calm.
"Graham, you're still…" Regina said slowly, an apology shrivelling to an ineffectual sound.
There was nothing sufficient to express her guilt.
Snow and David may have forgiven her but she highly doubted that would be the case if she had ever achieved her nefarious goals.
Producing a perfectly folded piece of parchment, Graham disregarded Regina's inability to form a coherent sentence as he handed it over to her.
Regina furrowed her brow, finding a simple sentence drawn out elegantly and in golden ink:
'Meet me at the docks in an hour'.
"Who is this from?" she demanded.
"Go and you will find out, you have nothing to lose," Graham replied in an oddly calm way as he pointed toward Zelena, "I suggest taking her with you. Hades does not track her movements."
Regina tilted her head towards her sister questioningly but the Wicked WItch didn't jump to offer an explanation for this so she turned back to Graham. He was already pushing through the door to exit as quickly as he had appeared though.
She wanted to go after him, force him to tell her what was keeping him in the Underworld as well as get an explanation for the strange behaviour, but Daniel interjected, "I will come too."
"Who is this?" Zelena asked, exasperated.
Regina sidled next to him, refraining from grabbing his arm like she wanted to, she retorted, "That is none of your business."
Zelena sneered but Regina was fairly confident that curiosity would also get the better of her and they would attend this mysterious meeting together.
Graham was right, none of them had anything to lose.