Hanashi Chapter 7: Advice, a ninja turtles fanfic

Hi, guys! I just published CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED in "Lilianna." Originally, I was going to write a story appreciating Lily, but with how I ended that chapter, Lily is going through a very rough phase of her life. The original plan was to talk about memories Lily has made over time, but now it will be a story of how Lily is able to pick up the pieces and move forward with her life using those memories. I hope you'll enjoy this story and a small sneak peak at what's to come in "Lilianna."

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything related to "TMNT." Song is listed below.

Song: "Advice" by Christina Grimmie

Family: Lilianna, Athena, and Venus

Timeline: March 30, 2060

Setting: Westport, Connecticut, USA & North Hampton, New York, USA

POV: Lilianna

I asked my friend Wilbur if I could ride home with him because I needed to go back to my house instead of the lair. I had decided to tell grief, enough was enough. Grief was the biggest monster I had ever faced and now I had the tools to defeat it. A few days after one month of grieving was a few days too long.

I got my keys out of my purse and I walked in the door. The living room was a mess because of the damage I had caused in my depression. I let out a sigh, ashamed of what I had done.

"Don't look down, 'cause it's easier falling from force. Just letting it take nature's course, then picking it up when it's over."

I picked up the pieces from my mess, my beautiful mess. It didn't take me long at all to clean it up, but the last item I picked up... was a framed photo of me and my late husband on our wedding day. Thankfully, it was unbroken.

"Don't be afraid, 'cause the chances are there for the take. But treasure the choices you make. I know when you must take it slower."

I held the picture to my heart. I was afraid to marry James at first. I had just been accepted to Pacific Bay University to pursue a master's degree while James revealed the news he was moving to New York to be with me. In fact, I realized I was more afraid of losing James than I was of marrying him. I knew in my heart, I made the right choice.

"You may think you've had it rough and try to give it up. But when you think you're stuck, just go another way."

It was rough at first. James and I got married and then moved across the country to California to start our new life together. While I went to school, I worked at a behavioral health hospital, which ended up being the worse job I ever had. James had to wait a year before going back to school for his master's in pharmacology.

"Don't let go of good times and let the bad ones know you feel fine. And wear your heart out on your sleeve. Love is all, love is all you need."

James always had my back when I struggled. But I was thankful to be out of the hospital after being accepted for an internship with the Pacific Bay Police Department. I did well enough to where I got a job as a secretary. I had no regrets.

I went into the kitchen next, only to find it was the cleanest room in the house. So I went upstairs and entered... my son's room. It was the room my husband was killed, the room where he sacrificed his life to save our family from being discovered by the Shredder's clone. I let out a shaky breath and kneeled on the ground where the blood laid on the floor.

"Don't be rushed, 'cause hurrying causes mistakes. And make sure to give more than take, 'cause sharing yourself brings you closer."

I had blamed myself for his death at first. I had sworn that if I was there a second earlier, I could have saved his life with my powers. But then the revelation came to be that if I had interfered, I would have died instead. I had heard from many of my family that I was loved and my loss would have devastated them.

I smiled at the sight around me in the room beyond the blood. My son was born of my blood and his blood. James gave him life, and he gave our daughter life as well. They were both quite young: Little Donnie was almost ten while Mika was going to be five soon. For the first time since my husband's death, I was thankful James was there that night to keep our children a secret from the Shredder.

"You may think you've had it rough and try to give it up. But when you think you're stuck, just go another way."

I had grieved for over a month and I thought it would never end. It felt like I was tortured by my demons. I never ate. I only drank little water. I felt myself losing weight as well as who I am. I slept more. I truly wanted to die so I could be with James again. But sitting in this room helped me realize that my children needed a parent to help them cope with their loss and I was it. I made a promise, again, that I would be there for my children, no matter what.

"Don't let go of good times and let the bad ones know you feel fine. And wear your heart out on your sleeve. Love is all you need. Feel with all your senses. Make sure to let down your defenses. There's just one way to make it seem that love is all, love is all you need."

I cleaned up my son's room. Thankfully, my daughter's room was untouched. I felt ashamed at how I reacted when I saw her for the first time since her father's funeral. She looked just like her father. I ended up running into the next room crying because I could not handle it. But thanks to my friends' encouragement and all the memories we held in this house, I was ready to see her again. I realized James was still alive through my children. He left a legacy in them, and he gave his life to them. I put my hands over my heart, feeling truly thankful. Life was never going to be the same again, but now I know how to move forward.

"Take a chance now, 'cause it's easy. Take a chance now for you and me. Take a chance now. You can reach it. Take a chance with me."

I spun around to my right and transformed into Aumanil, wearing my brown armor over my white and brown dress. Part of my hair was in a braided crown, crowning my face. At the moment, I admitted to myself that I didn't like it anymore. I took out the hair pins that held the crown together and just let it loose. I combed my hair back with my six fingers. I already felt so much better.

I opened the window, but then I concentrated. Besides the one time I flew over to my boss's house, I hadn't really used my powers since that fateful night. I stood in that spot and meditated. After a few minutes, I felt my powers coming back to me, and everything that my parents had taught me was coming back to life. I felt myself floating above the ground, and then I flew out the window. I closed the window so the cold wouldn't get in, and I took flight, flying all over New York State.

I had decided to visit my husband's grave, so I flew to my childhood home in North Hampton. When I landed, I made sure to knock at the house first. The door opened, revealing my blonde youngest cousin.

"Lily!" Athena exclaimed with a grin. "Welcome back! How are you feeling?"

"Much better," I answered with a smile.

"Oh, good! The three of us were worried. My dad kept texting me that you were shutting yourself in at the lair."

"Yeah, I didn't really want to face the world in those moments. It was horrible. I promised myself I was never going to do that again."

"Is that Lily?" I heard Venus asking.

"Yes, Venus!" Athena yelled.

My Salamandrian cousin then showed up at the door.

"Lilianna, it is so good to see you."

We hugged.

"It's great seeing you, too, Venus. I actually came to see my husband."

Athena and Venus were about to speak when I finished my thought.

"But don't worry! I swear, I have come to terms with his death. I just wanted to say a few words to finally move on."

"You never spoke at the funeral," Venus replied with a frown. "May we come with you?"

"Please."

The three of us walked to what was now a private cemetery just for the Hamato Clan. First, my eyes laid on Splinter's grave. My little brother Yoshi, who was stillborn at twenty weeks of pregnancy, laid next to him on the right. And on the left... was my husband. I kneeled next to his headstone and put my hand on it. My father did a good job with the headstone, writing down James' titles that defined him: A loving husband and a loving father. I smiled while the tears came to my blue eyes.

"James, I am so sorry I wasn't with you in your final moments. I did what I thought was the right thing, and it cost me your life. At first, I thought about going back in time and fixing my mistakes, but a good friend convinced me otherwise. You died protecting me and our children, and I want to say thank you. You gave us more days to live and I will forever be grateful for that."

I let out a sigh.

"You know, I thought I was going to be the protector of my family, seeing as I'm a kunoichi. But it wasn't me who saved our lives that night. It was you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your sacrifice. You are no soldier. But you're a father, always lending a hand to his children. And I know you'll do that above us and inside us. And thank you for giving me the strength to smile at all the differences you've made in my life and to help me move forward with my life. You were my lifetime, and I will always cherish the memories we shared together. I love you, James Michael Anderson, so very much."

I blew a kiss and placed it on the ground. To my amazement, the tears never fell. I got up and was embraced by my cousins.

"Are you okay?" Athena asked me.

"Yes, I am fine."

"Why don't you stay for dinner? I'll make you your favorite meal."

"That sounds great."

We held each other as we walked back into the house, preparing to move forward with brave smiles on our faces.