Prodigal Son Returns

By: Bubbajack

Editors/Co-Authors: Antagonist, Icysnowsage, First Hassan/Darklord 331, and LoamyCoffee.

Special Consultants: Heliosion

Special thanks go out to my Super Donors: Alexander Murry, Bobby Glass, JackHanmer, Jareth Norris, Martin T. Aranda, NeroSolas, Selmephren, and Lucas White, my sole Supreme Tier Donor.

Ch.5: The Mess Left Behind.

After the talk with Rin, Shirou decided he needed to talk with his parents about fixing the mess left in their wake in Fuyuki City. He stopped in his tracks at the thought. 'I just thought of them as mom and dad.' He shook his head and kept on walking, 'It's going to take a while to get used to that.' He thought to himself. Not seeing his parents in the dining room, He called for Sylpha, who appeared in a burst of speed. "You called, Young Master?"

"Yes, Sylpha-chan, where are my parents?"

That silver haired maid nodded, "They've retreated to the cocktail lounge after this morning's scare with the food. They'd rather drink than eat right now I believe."

Shirou graced her with a smile, "Thank you, I need to talk to them about something important."

Sylpha found herself blushing a little bit, "Of course, Young Lord, no need to thank me for doing my job. If you need anything from me, just ask."

Shirou quickly found himself back in the cocktail lounge, and found his father sipping away at a tumbler of whiskey while his mother was drinking what he assumed was a Margarita. "Isn't it a little bit too early to be drinking? It's not even noon yet," Shirou reprimanded his parents.

"It's 5:00 somewhere, Shirou," Zeocitius replied as he finished his drink and motioned for another one from Tao Yuifa, who was manning the bar at the moment. Greeting him with a nod and a wave. His mother's other maid said chipperly. "Can I get you anything, Young Master? Back in the day, you used to enjoy strawberry ice cream sundaes, though I'm not sure if that still applies."

"No, thank you, Tao-chan. I'm good at the moment," Shirou said with a shake of his wrist and his head. "I actually came to speak with… Zeocitus and Ritsuka about something."

The head of the Gremmory clan parked up when his name was called by his wayward son, "What's on your mind, kiddo? Sounds important."

"Yeah, about that. Um, Rin and I just realized that we might have left a giant mess back home. And we kind of need to go back and fix it. We're talking about mass property damage, a few dead bodies, plus the guy who was supposed to clean up the messes is kind of dead because he turned out to be evil and a whole bunch of other stuff. And I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come along and see where I've been living for the past decade? As well as help us basically hide the evidence that a magical war was happening in the city."

"Are you basically asking us to help you hide the bodies?"

Shirou shrugged awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his head, "Um, more or less, yeah."

Zeocitus just threw his head back and laughed, "This is like when Sirzechs courted Grayfia all over again. What is it with my sons finding love in the midst of a war and needing my help to bury the corpses?"

"Is that a no?" Shirou couldn't help but ask.

Zeocitius shook his head, "No, I'm just reminiscing on how similar you are to your older brother, that's all. I'll happily come with you and help sort out this mess. But before we do that, your mother and I should probably contact the Phenex clan and let them know that the original marriage contract is back on between you and their only daughter, Ravel."

Shirou nodded and then thought out loud."Yeah, that sounds like it's important. I should probably talk to Rin about that."

Facepalming, Ritsuka asked her son, "You think? Sweetie, you're my son, you came from my womb and I love you, but you really need to get a handle on how to control a harem."

"Mom, they're women with their own thoughts, feelings and emotions. I can't really control them. They're not robots."

"While it makes me incredibly happy to hear you say that, you also need to understand that if you're going to have a harem, you need to sometimes put your foot down on certain things, because if you just let infighting happen, well, you're going to have what happened this morning. You don't want that to happen to you?"

Shirou shook his head. He most certainly did not, "No, no I don't. If anything, I've learned what not to do from you guys' example, no offense."

Zeocitus put his hands over his heart and made a pained face. "Oof, some taken."

"It's not like you don't deserve it." Ritsuka told him as she sent a sidelong glare to her slightly estranged husband. "The other girls have gone who knows how long without a good dicking down, and whose fault is that?"

Turning sharply on his heel, Shirou said, "I feel like I should leave now before I hear something I can't unhear."

"Oh, so it's fine when you talk about sex, but when your parents do it?" Ritsuka teased her son.

"Yes, yes it is… I'm just gonna go… and get the others." Shirou said awkwardly as he marched robotically out of the room.

Ritsuka and Zeocitius looked at each other silently for a moment before they burst out into laughter. Once they calmed down and Ritsuka wiped a tear from her eye, she said, "Oh, I've been waiting years to do that!"

"I know embarrassing our children, that's one of the perks of being a parent… I just kind of wish we'd been there for everything else."

The red haired woman sighed in disappointment, "Yeah, me too," She then glanced at her husband and said, "Did you notice how he called us by our first names?"

"How could I not? I mean, I can't be all that surprised either. He doesn't know us as mom or dad. Maybe in time he'll call us that, but we'll just have to take what we can get from him for now dear. The fact that he's even bothering to call us by our names is something at least. It could be worse, he could be calling us Lord and Lady Gremory, like we're absolute strangers."

Ritsuka conceded the point, "That's true, At least he's calling us by our first names. That's something. If he was just calling us Lord and Lady Gremory, which I am not Lady Gremory, that would be Venelana's title, not mine."

Zeoticus smirked at his wife."I don't know. I'd like to think that you are a Lady Gremory, If not the Lady Gremory."

Wagging a finger at him warningly, Ritsuka warned Zeoticus, "Don't you even start playing word games like that, or this House will be in shambles in no time, and the girls will be more at each other's throats than they already are."

The Patriarch of House Gremory nodded as he let out a sigh, "You're right, of course. But I've never thought of any of you out as just concubines. You know that, don't you?"

"If it were before Shirou disappeared, I would have said yes. Nowadays?" Ritsuka shrugged. "I don't know what to think. If I'm being entirely honest."

Putting his hands on his knees, Zeocitus doubled over as he let out a sigh, "That hurt, but I definitely needed to hear that. That's something I could always appreciate about you, Ritsuka. You always gave it to me straight. I've got a lot of making up to do, don't I?" He said as he leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling.

"You've got a lot of ass to kiss, but if I remember correctly, a majority of the girls are into that anyway so you should be good."

Zeocitus just shook his head ruefully, "You just had to go there, didn't you?"

Ritsuka shrugged, a smirk on her lips as she replied, "I couldn't resist…" Letting out an annoyed sigh, she continued, "I suppose we should get this call out of the way, shouldn't we?"

"Yeah, there's no point delaying it any longer. The Phenex clan is going to be miffed that we kept Shirou's return a secret for the past two days most likely in any case. So we may as well rip the Band-Aid off." Her husband agreed.

Glancing at him, Ritsuka asked, "Do you want to ring them or should I?"

Zeocitus bit the bullet, "I'll do it, it's my job as the head of the clan anyway." Within a matter of moments, he was calling up the Phenex clan.

The call was, of course, answered by Lady Phenex. A small holographic version of her appeared in the magic circle he had summoned, "Ah, Lord Gremory, how can I help you today?" Noticing he had unusual company, Lady Phenex also greeted Ritsuka. "Ritsuka, it has been a while since I've seen you. How are you doing?"

Ritsuka beamed happily. It's been a while since she'd seen her old friend, "I'm doing well, thank you, Zhuque. How are the kids?"

Lady Phenex let out a sigh of annoyance, "Rambunctious as ever, unfortunately. We should catch up sometime, Ritsuka. Preferably over tea. But something tells me you didn't call just to set up a tea date. Is something going on?"

"Yes, actually, um, something very big happened just the other day." Ritsuka said, clearing her throat.

"Ohh, and what might that be?" Lady Zhuque Phenex asked, sounding both amused and intrigued.

"He's back, Zhu! My son has, after ten years of absence, returned." Ritsuka said with fervor burning in her eyes. Her mouth dropping open in shock, Zhuque blinked uncomprehendingly for several minutes To the point where Ritsuka wondered if something was wrong with their connection. Running her hands through the hologram, Ritsuka asked, "Is this thing broken all of a sudden?"

"I-I'm fine dear, I'm just in a state of shock," Zhuque said, coming out of her fugue state. "Now, you're telling me Hersei has returned? All of a sudden, out of the blue after a decade missing with no trace? That's quite a shock… You're sure it's him, yes?"

"He bears the family mark," Zeocitus cut in, "It is most definitely Hersei Gremory," Looking away in shame, he added, "There were, however, some complications we learned of after he came home."

"I imagine so, what were these complications?" Lady Phenex asked before she held up a hand and said. "Actually hold on, let me get my husband, he should be here for this." They disappeared for a moment and then reappeared with her husband now on the screen with her.

Lord Ambrose "Turdukin" Phenex, was slightly portly, with a balding head of blonde hair and blue eyes, He wore regal attire, consisting of scarlet, red and gold, And he had a monocle over one eye, Despite his austere appearance, he was always jovial though, "Zeo ole boy! Is it true what my wife is saying? Has Hersei come home?" The Lord of the Phenex Clan asked.

"Yes, old friend, it's true. But as I was explaining to your wife just a moment ago, there were complications."

His bushy mustache on his upper lip, bristling, Ambrose asked, "What type of complications, Zeo?"

"He has essentially forgotten everything about his past, More than that, his devil blood was burned out of his very body. Because he ended up in a fire that was cursed and purged everything out of him. It's actually some sort of miracle that he survived in the first place."

"Sweet jumping Jehosaphat!" Ambrose cursed, "So he doesn't remember anything and I'm assuming one of you reincarnated him as a devil? Lord Phenex asked.

"I did," Ritsuka said, raising her hand, before continuing, "What we need to know is if this is going to be a problem? As we were assuming now that he's returned, that our former marriage pact is now on the table again."

Stroking his mustache, Ambrose replied, "Well, I know your daughter certainly won't have a problem with it. She certainly didn't get along well with Riser, and made no secret of it. Ravel shouldn't have a problem with it. At least I don't think so."

"What we mean is, would you have a problem marrying your pure blooded daughter off to our reincarnated son?" Zeocitus said no longer beating around the proverbial bush.

"Bah, once a pure blooded devil, always a pure blooded devil." Ambrose said, waving away their concerns. "Besides, unless he's become a completely uncouth bastard in the time he's been gone, I don't see why he wouldn't be able to get along with Ravel. He was a perfect gentleman before."

Hearing that made Zeocitus chuckle a little bit, "If anything, he has become even more of a gentleman. So much so he's attracting women like flies to honey."

"Ha, fantastic. He'll fit right in then… By chance, Zeo ole pal, do you know if your son has your family's gift?" Ambrose asked, turning suddenly serious, "We know Rias, and Sirzechs both inherited the Bael clan's blood gift. But what of Hersei?"

Zeocitus rubbed the back of his head ruefully, "Truth be told, I've been so happy having him back within the last day or so. I haven't asked him about it."

Ambrose nodded understandingly, "Naturally, naturally. If it ever crosses your mind to bring it up, it would be nice to know that you have an heir that has your family's gift."

"Well, anyway, we just wanted to call and let you know what was going on. Hersei, or Shirou, as he likes to be called now, has to go and take care of things and tie up a few loose ends where he came from. He wants us to go with him, to help clean up the mess he helped create. Basically he was involved in a war and he needs to help hide a couple bodies, and maybe even pick up a couple of women while he's there."

Ambrose chuckled good naturedly, "Just like his older brother, I see."

"I know, surprising, isn't it? Or perhaps, maybe not so much." Zeocitus said with a shrug, "When we get back, we'll do our best to set up a meet and greet between the two, shall we?"

Ambrose nodded, his mustache quivering in anticipation, "Sounds like a plan. I'm sure Rias will be thrilled to know she's no longer marrying Riser."

Zeoticus rolled his eyes, but couldn't disagree, "I can picture her jumping off the walls in joy already."

Ambrose nodded along understandingly, "That sounds like your youngest, all right. Well, do let us know when you get back and we'll sort out something while you're gone. We'll break the news to Ravel and let that sink in, for I doubt she'll be overly disappointed or anything. In fact, I imagine she'll be thrilled to get out of her brother's peerage."

Zeoticus was surprised to hear that."Ravel was in Riser's peerage. Why? Wasn't he collecting a harem?"

Now it was Ambrose's turn to roll his eyes, "Oh you know how overprotective he can get. He didn't want anyone hitting on his sister so he had her added to his peerage, she's a Bishop. In case Hersei's looking for one."

Understanding the hint, the patriarch of House Gremory said, "I'll be sure to let him know, but I think he has his own ideas in mind for his evil piece set."

"Thank you for letting us know and keeping us in the loop, old friend. See you when you get back from your little vacation? sightseeing? Mission? whatever you want to call it," Ambrose finished, giving another jovial laugh.

"We'll do that, old friend, and I'll try to bring you back souvenirs from this Fuyuki City place, while we're there."

Lord Phenex beamed, "Splendid, I'm looking forward to it. Enjoy your trip. Tata."

And with that, the call ended. Zeoticus let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding. "That went a lot better than I expected."

"No kidding! I expected them to practically rip our heads off," Ritsuka said as she let out her own sigh, "Do you think it was a shock?" she continued.

"Probably, but let's not look a gift horse in the mouth," He declared.

Ritsuka wholeheartedly agreed, "Agreed, let's go see this Fuyuki place and see how our son grew up shall we?"

"Let's." She agreed, taking her husband by the arm and silently motioning for Tao Yuifa to follow in their wake with a quick motion of her head.

(...)

Shirou was surprised to find Sirzechs, Serafall, Grayfia, Millicas, and Rias along with her Peerage Members had all gathered in the foyer along with himself, and the others. "Onee-san, Nee-chan, Serafall, Grayfia-nee,Millicas-san, you're all coming too? I thought you had jobs to get back to? And doesn't Millicas have school or something? I'd hate for him to miss it because of me."

Locking eyes with him, Serafall said semi-possessively, "I lost you due to multiversal shenanigans once. Never again."

Sirzechs ruffled Shirou's hair good-naturedly. He would freely admit that while he didn't enjoy being called Onii-san by Shirou as much as he did Rias-chan, it was growing on him fast. "What? Did you think we were going to miss seeing where you spent the last decade? I think a family outing after this morning's disastrous breakfast is just what we need right now. Don't you dear?"

Grayfia nodded, "Indeed Sirzechs-sama, I think Millicas can miss a single day of school to see his uncle's house, but it's nice to see you worrying about his education, Shirou-kun."

Millicas all but bounced up to him, his eyes beaming as he asked excitedly, "Ne, ne Shirou-Aniki, what's your house like?"

Smiling at his exuberance, Shirou replied, "It's a big Japanese style mansion," Shirou replied, "I grew up there basically alone since I was about the age you are now, if not a few years older."

Millicas and the other adults frowned when they heard that. "That sounds lonely, Aniki."

Shirou shook his head even though he agreed with the young boy. He didn't have a right to be sad after all, he survived while others died. He had to make their sacrifices mean something. Just like he told Archer, even if his ideals were flawed, they were still worth striving for. "Not really, Fuji-nee, that is to say Fujimura Taiga, the girl who became my legal guardian, was always rambunctious and full of energy," rubbing the back of his head he admitted, "She never could cook worth a damn though, neither could my old man, so I learned that at an early age lest I starved," bopping his hand into his fist, Shirou suddenly stated, "That gives me an idea! Since you'll all be my guests, and breakfast was… awful how about I cook for all of you once we arrive? It'll be my treat?"

"I wholeheartedly agree with this idea, Shirou!" Altria said her glass green eyes brimming with unconcealed happiness at the thought of getting to eat Shirou's cooking again, along with a bit of drool dribbling from her mouth at the thought only to snap out of it when Rin elbowed her in the ribs.

Turning his attention to his older sister, Shirou said concernedly, "Are you sure you want to come, nee-chan? I won't blame you if you don't."

"Fufufu~ I appreciate the thought, Shirou-kun, but…" Rias smiled at her little brother, before she took a breath and said resolutely, "I need to do this, not just for you, but for myself too. I need to see with my own two eyes where I sent you, where you ended up growing up, before I can even begin to forgive myself for it. Even if I can't remember it," She glared at her older brother as she said this and he refused to make eye contact with her.

"Now now Buchou, remember, this is about you and Shirou-kun." Akeno reminded her king as she placed her hand on her shoulder.

Giving a heated sigh, Rias nodded, "Right, thank you Akeno," smiling at her younger brother she said, "Besides I need to let this Fuji-nee know who the real older sister is."

"Please be nice to Fuji-nee, nee-san," Shirou requested, "She was there for me when no one else was so she's still an important member of my family."

'Yeah and who's fault is that? Mine!' Rias thought to herself before she took a breath and let it out, "I'll withhold judgment till I meet her in person." She promised him with a smile.

"Well Fuji-nee wasn't a cook, she wasn't the most responsible, and was a bit of a slob, but she always made sure I was safe, warm, and had food, even if I had to cook it myself and a portion or three for her too." Shirou rubbed the back of his head, feeling like he wasn't doing a very good job of explaining the situation and quite possibly throwing his poor Fuji-nee under the bus.

"Akeno, why should I hold back again?" Rais asked in forced calm as a menacing crimson aura began to leak from her body.

"For Shirou-sama, remember Buchou? You just promised to wait till you met her." Akeno reminded her king as she put a restraining hand on her shoulder.

Koneko popped up, "Oi Buchou, don't blow a gasket now or Shirou-tan won't make breakfast for us." As she looked up at her king with big yellow eyes and the most adorable pout on her face.

'Ah, I can see her and Illya becoming fast friends, they both know how to weaponize the face,' Shirou thought ruefully. The face being that cutesy pout every little sister knew how to use on their elders. He'd only bumped into Illya a couple of times before summoning Saber and even without knowing anything about the Grail War at all, but in those few instances her look had managed to get her some snacks with his pocket money… which made it utterly horrifying when she showed up at the Church and sicked an obsidian skinned giant on him. 'Fun times.'

"Onii-chan!" as if his thoughts had summoned her, the now not so little she-devil had attached herself to his arm. "Are we really gonna go to your place?" She suddenly became solemn, "To the place where Kiritsugu spent his last days huh?"

"Yeah, but you can consider it just as much your home as it is mine Illya… Man Fuji-nee is gonna freak out when I introduce you to her." He said, giving an awkward little laugh.

Cocking her head to the side cutely in confusion she asked, "Why?"

Shirou sheepishly admitted, "Well, she always had a bit of a crush on him I think. And he doted on her a bit for reasons I never really understood."

Illyasviel for her part didn't know what to think upon hearing this. 'Some barbarian harlot was trying to replace my mama in Kiritsugu's heart?' deciding to probe her beloved Onii-chan he queried, "Did they… did you ever catch them..?"

"No!" Shirou said a bit forcefully. "No, and thank you so much for that mental image," Shirou shuddered at the thought, "No, he was just her English teacher and basically inspired her to become a teacher now that I think about it," Shirou shook his head again to void his head of the revolting image Illya had conjured before saying, "Illya, Taiga was fourteen when they first met. She might've carried a torch for him but I swear nothing ever came of it. If anything, you should expect her to dote on you once she finds out you're our Old Man's daughter."

Illya's lips twitched upwards when she heard that, "Well, I guess that doesn't sound so bad."

"Ah, also Kiritsugu mentioned to me about keeping a lot of his wife's old clothes and some other things which means they are your mother's things in both his room and in the shed. We can gather them up and take them with us if you'd like?"

Illya felt her eyes misting over, wrapping him in a hug so he wouldn't see her tearing up, the Bishop said, "I'd like that Shirou, thank you so much."

Gently patting her head, Shirou told his Bishop, "It's no problem."

When he saw Lord El-Melloi II, Grey, and Luvia arrive on the scene, he motioned them over, "Are you three coming as well?"

"Yes, but not to help you move, Emiya," Lord El-Melloi II informed him, "We need to report all of this back to the Clocktower." The man sighed and rubbed his temples. He could already feel the headache building from the uproar this would cause once he made his report.

Shirou nodded, He both pitied and didn't envy the man for the position he was soon to be in. He may be just considered a spellcaster by most, but from what Rin told him, the average magi would be chomping at the bit to become Devils much less the Lords at the Clocktower. 'Ah that reminds me,' he thought as he told the Lord, "Lord El-Melloi II, sir? You should know there is something very wrong with the Grail, and it should be dismantled before another War can take place,"

Narrowing his eyes, Lord El-Melloi II demanded, "What do you mean, Emiya? Elaborate."

"He means the Greater Grail has been corrupted by the essence of Servant Avenger from the Third Holy Grail War, otherwise known as Angra Mainyu, or All the World's Evil. Or Proto-Satan if you will." Aoko spoke up on his behalf, in a serious tone before giving Shirou a two finger salute and playful wink. "Morning handsome, and thanks for saving me from arsenic poisoning."

"Umm, no problem, Aoko-san." He still didn't know how to feel about the fact that a Magician was so blatantly flirting with him so he decided to ignore it for the moment before he then turned to Saber's descendant, "Grey, about that thing you asked me last night… I'd be happy to fulfill your request after you return from the Clocktower. Till then? Please don't speak of it to anyone, ok?"

The hooded girl beamed and was bouncing on the balls of her feet, she was so happy. "Yes, Mr. Shirou! I promise I won't tell anyone. I swear on Add's life!" She then paused and asked curiously, "But how do you know we'll be sent back to Fuyuki?"

"Well, call it a hunch, but I'm assuming once you deliver the news about the Evil Pieces and the defective Holy Grail Ritual, several people will want to… investigate, and who better to come along than the Clocktower's own Sherlock Holmes and his Watson?" Shirou finished paying a compliment to both Lord El-Melloi II and Grey herself.

Taking a long draw off his cigar, the Lord of the Norwich class replied, "You give me far too much credit, Emiya… even if that probably is the most likely scenario. You'll be lucky if the Queen herself doesn't come down to Fuyuki."

"The Queen?!" Rin meeped out, going rigid and pale at the mere thought.

Shirou, confused, questioned, "Queen Elizabeth, of England?"

Aoko giggled, "You really are clueless about some things aren't you, Shirou?" Seeing his defeated expression, she said, "Hey now, don't worry, I think it's endearing. But no, not England's queen. He means the haughty blue blood queen bitch of the Clocktower. Lorelei Bartholemoi also known as the Queen of the Clocktower. She's someone most magi fear, respect, and revere, and she like most in the Clocktower hate Asians because most magi in Asian countries practice what is known as Philosophy Key Magecraft which is incompatible with Clocktower doctrine." She then gave him a thumbs up, "But don't worry, that frigid bitch won't try anything as long as I'm around! My Magic may be the youngest of the Five, but it's still Magic. Thus it outclasses anything Miss Perfectionist Lorelei is capable of."

Shirou couldn't help but note, "I can't help but get the feeling you don't like her much, Aoko,"

The Fifth Magician scowled and crossed her arms, "No, I don't. At all. Would it kill her just to show me a smidge, just a modicum of respect? I mean I've only done what five magi in all of history have accomplished and what every magi worth their salt tries to, her included, attain True Magic. But no, apparently only the First Magician is worthy of her Highness' respect. Bah, I think she's called a blueblood because she has ice in her veins, the frigid bitch."

Illyasviel patted Aoko on the arm, "There, there Aoko-oneesan, the Barthomeloi are notorious snobs. If it makes you feel any better, it's said that even back when the Einzbern still had the Third, they couldn't get they're respect."

"Not really no, that just means they've always been assholes to everyone equally… and hearing that just makes me angry. C'mon Illya! Let's go blow the Clocktower up when we get back!"

"No! No no no! No no no no no!" Rin said harshly. "Aozaki-sama you're acting crazy! I know Wizards have flights of fancy but this is going too far! Illya tell her!"

"Hmm," much to Rin's utter shock and mounting terror, the homunculus actually seemed to be giving Aoko's offer of blowing the Clocktower to kingdom come some serious thought.

"Illyasviel!" Rin screeched somehow managing to both pale and go red faced at the same time. Shirou thought it was quite an achievement if he did say so himself.

"Please don't take Miss Blue up on her offer, Miss Einzbern, otherwise you'll be making my job rather difficult," Lord El-Melloi II said as he ground one end of his cigar to pulp between his teeth.

Fixing the Clocktower Lord with an unnerving smile, Aoko spoke with saccharine sweetness as she gave him a smile that showed far too many teeth as she told him, "Call me that again and you won't be able to give your report due to coming down with an unfortunate case of atomization."

Swallowing hard, the Lord formerly known as Waver Velvet nodded and said, "Duly noted,"

Shirou while watching the two bicker suddenly felt a tug on his sleeve and found Luvia getting his attention with a smile. "Shero, I hope you haven't forgotten that I also threw my own hat into the ring last night."

"I haven't. Rin might take some convincing though," Seeing she was still freaking out over Illya considering blowing up the Clocktower, he asked in a low tone, "What's the deal between you and her anyway? I'm fairly sure yesterday was the first day you met but you automatically were at each other's throats."

Luvia grimaced, staring off into space for a moment as she replied, "It's a messy little bit of family history leading back to the Third Grail War, Shero," He was about to say he didn't have to tell her if she didn't want to when she continued speaking, "You see it goes back to my isotäti, my great aunt, she and her sister my isoäiti, grandmother both fought in the Third Holy Grail War. Due to the unique Sorcery Trait of my family, Ore Scales' two children can inherit the family crest at once."

"Oh wow, that's amazing!" Shirou said, genuinely awed, "Rin told me Magi families usually only have one child to prevent a succession crisis."

Luvia nodded, "It is so, and I feel for all those who must go through such things, my aunt and grandmother due to the unique connection of Ore Scales were both able to summon a Servant. According to my family's records, it was a Saber and each summoned a different… aspect of the servant. I know now that the Berserker Class was replaced by this corrupting Avenger and though I'm unsure on the specifics my grandmother fled Fuyuki City swearing never to return to Japan… As for my isotäti, my Great Aunt…" Luvia sent Rin an undisguised look that was a mix of both hatred, curiosity, and longing.

"She's your distant cousin?" Shirou asked quietly, putting the pieces together.

Luvia nodded, "Yes."

Though he hated to ask, he had to know, "Your Great Aunt, did she stay willingly or was she ah, forced?"

Luvia looked puzzled for a moment as she thought back before she finally replied, "That I do not know, my isotäti never did give a straight answer either way, but she always spoke the name Tohsaka as if it were some vile curse, I always assumed the worst."

Shirou ended up letting out a sigh he didn't know he was holding, "Hmm, then maybe things aren't as bad as you think?"

"Maybe…" Luvia said half-heartedly as if she didn't really believe it. She would've said more only for Zelretch to speak upon seeing that everyone that mattered had gathered in the foyer.

"Alright everyone, please step into the portal in an orderly fashion keeping all hands at your sides at all…Ha! I'm sorry I tried the whole flight attendant thing, but I can't!" He said with a chuckle. "Seriously though just walk on through I'll be with you all in due time, I need to reconstruct myself a golem body to use on this other side and it'll take a moment."

After he finished speaking, a kaleidoscopic portal as big as the entire wall appeared behind him, and he ushered the others through with a wave of his hand before his form crumbled into a mass of precious gemstones.

"Do you think he would mind if I kept those?" Rin pondered aloud.

"You might as well, I mean, otherwise they're just going to be left here, right?" Shirou reasoned, and that was all the reasoning Rin needed to go diving for the pile like a hungry dog would towards its food bowl at feeding time.

'She's acting like a certain Servant I know during mealtime,' Shirou thought as he gave Saber some side eye.

"Is something wrong, Shirou?" Saber asked curiously as she caught him staring.

Shaking his head, the Gremory heir replied, "No Saber, it's nothing. Ready to go everyone?"

Receiving various nods, the group walked through the portal and back into another universe that only a few in the group called home. Funnily enough, one person was forgotten. She will make her ire known later.

(...)

The first thing Shirou felt when stepping back into Fuyuki was short of breath. He felt as if he had just run a marathon that ended at the top of a mountain. 'What…' he wondered as he calmed his breathing like his martial arts training ingrained into him by Taiga and Saber as he regained his breath, 'Is going on? Why's it so hard to breathe?' He looked over and found both his parents, siblings, sister in law, and Rias' Peerage were all having the same issue. 'It's only affecting the Devils' Shirou quickly realized. 'Is it due to the difference of mana saturation in the air?'

"Hmm, seems as though it's harder for mystery heavy entities like Devils to exist in our world." Lord El-Melloi II noted as he watched the Devils slowly adjust to the atmospheric loss of both mana and Mystery in the Era of Man.

"Shirou!" Saber said, propping him up on her shoulder, as she looked him over with worry shining keenly in her glass green eyes, "Are you going to be alright?"

"I'm fine, Saber, just a little winded at the moment." the former master assured his former Servant.

"Speak… for yourself… Onii-chan." Illya said, panicking as she panted for breath. "I can't breathe."

Taking her into his arms he said, "Take a long deep breath, nice and slow, Illya…" She did as he said and felt her breathing even a little. "There you go now, hold it, and count to four," She continued following his directions and felt her Magic Circuits thrum with power as she did so. "Good, now let it out, and count to four." Again she did as he said, and felt the power ebb, "Good, now keep doing that till you can breathe normally," Turning to the others he said, "Did everyone hear those instructions?" Seeing Sirzechs and Grayfia following them easily enough, he was happy to see Serafall coaching Millicas through the exercise before walking over to Rias who seemed to be having some trouble.

"I'm… fine." She said upon seeing her younger brother approaching, "I just need a second,"

"Nee-chan, just look at me and breathe ok?" Shirou said wanting to be helpful.

'He's so damn kind and helpful, doesn't he know I of all people don't deserve it?' Rias thought to herself even as she mimicked his actions. Soon, she found her breathing evening out.

Satisfied she was doing well now he turned to her Peerage members, "Himejima-san, are you doing alright?"

"Oh yes, I've been fufufu… in worse predicaments than this." She replied with a giggle.

'What a strange girl.' Shirou thought to himself, "Yuuto-san, are you ok?"

The bishonen boy nodded, "Yes this is just a minor annoyance. Thank you for your concern."

The youngest of the group, the silent Koneko didn't seem to be bothered at all. "I'm glad you're alright Koneko, I was worried about you the most but it seems I was worried for nothing."

Giving him a shy smile Koneko replied, "Thank you, Shirou-tan."

"Aww, our little Koneko seems quite taken with you Shirou," Akeno teased.

"Shut up Akeno," the petite girl glowered at her senior.

Shirou just patted Koneko on the head, "It's fine, we're both Shirou in a sense aren't we? So it's only natural that we should look out for each other right? Or at least, that's what I think," He gave an awkward chuckle, "I'm probably not making any sense right now."

Koneko shook her head, "No I get it," she decided to tease him a bit by saying, "Just know that my help comes at a price, Shirou-tan."

"Oh?" Shirou sounded more amused than anything.

Koneko nodded seriously, as she folded her arms across her chest, "Snacks."

"I think I can manage that, If I can feed a hungry Taiga, and satiate the blackhole that is Saber's stomach, I think I can manage to please you in the snack department Koneko-chan."

Placing her hands on her hips, the Rook declared, "I'll be the judge of that,"

"Fair enough," He then spoke to the entire group, "If everyone is feeling up to it, we can start heading to my house."

"Lead the way," Sirzechs said, having pulled himself together.

"Right, Millicas are you alright?" He asked his nephew.

The young boy nodded, "I'm fine Aniki, it wasn't that hard to catch my breath with Levia-tan right here."

Hearing that caused Serafall to jump up and down, "Have I mentioned lately how much I love this kid?!" Serafall said as she pulled Millicas into a hug.

"Thanks Levia-tan, correct me if I'm wrong however, but I think you prefer the older model, yes?" He spoke in a teasing tone to the Neo-Leviathan.

In response, Serafall pinched his cheek, "Cheeky, you get that from your daddy."

"Tahk yoo." Millicas replied.

"It wasn't a compliment."

"I'm going to treat it as one regardless," the young devil said as he preened with pride upon being compared to his father.

"Alright everyone, this way," Shirou said as he felt like a shepherd herding cats as he tried to lead the group towards his home. The Devils kept breaking off, seeing something catching they're eye and then, he, Rin, or Saber would have to go collect them. It took almost an hour to complete what should've been a twenty minute walk back to his home due to this.

Once they finally arrived at the front gate, the Devils gave an appreciative whistle, and his father Zeoticus spoke up, "Nice place, you're right though, it's too big for one person."

"Yeah it'll be nice to have a full house for once," Shirou said as he opened the front door…

"SHIRROOU!" Only to immediately be glomp-tackled by a very irate Fujimura Taiga.

Shirou suddenly found himself on the floor of his hallway, being shaken back and forth by an irate Taiga Fujimura.

"Just where have you been? You've been missing for two whole days. I've been worried sick. Sakura-chan is all but catatonic, and to top it all off, I'm half starved. Do you have any idea how much trouble I could get in if they find out you've been missing? Do you have any idea how worried I was? Rumors were going around school that you eloped with Tohsaka and that Saber girl. Well, what do you have to say for yourself, young man? Well?!" Taiga was all about screaming and crying at the end.

"I missed you too, Fuji-nee…" Shirou got out between breaths, "Sorry, I should've left a note, but time was of the essence at the moment."

"Of the essence for what?!" His irate guardian all but demanded.

In response, Shirou looked behind him, past the entryway, Taiga too looked as well, and she noticed all the people she had neglected to see, having gotten tunnel vision upon seeing her ward alive and healthy.

"Me. I'd like you to meet my biological parents, my mother Ritsuka and my father Zeocitus Gremory."

"Bio… Biological… what?" Taiga's brain went on the fritz.

"Who are these people, senpai?" Sakura's usually timid voice broke through the English teacher's mental haze.

Shirou glanced behind Taiga to find his kouhai wearing a pink apron over her school uniform, And holding a kitchen knife in one hand. He could have just been imagining things from landing on the floor too hard, but he could have sworn the shadows were shifting irregularly behind her as she stared at his family members.

"Hey Sakura, I'm home."

"Welcome back, Senpai. Umm, who are these people? If they're staying for lunch, we're going to have to make more," Sakura informed him contritely. "I wasn't expecting more than just Fuji-nee for dinner," She then pouted at him as she said, "It would have been nice if you had left a note, senpai."

Shirou rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Apologies Sakura, but some things have been happening these past few days and one thing led to another and I ended up running into my biological parents. Ritsuka and Zeocitus Gremory meet Matou Sakura, my kouhai."

'Senpai… parents… I-I'm not ready. I'm not mentally prepared for this. I don't even have the right clothes or anything. I haven't even taken a bath yet today! What do I do? What do I say? I'm not even worthy of being around Senpai, much less his parents,' And as the girl stood there stunned, she was rapidly embraced by Ritsuka Fujimaru, who was clear as day, Shirou's biological mother.

Pulling away, the older woman said, "It's a pleasure to meet you, dear. Thank you for looking after my wayward son."

"No umm… Senpai is the one who's been looking after me all this time. It's a pleasure to meet you," Sakura replied, dropping into an overly polite bow as a show of respect.

"Yeah! I'll have you know I was the one looking after her for the most part…." Shirou said, defending himself. As they had met when he had broken his arm during archery practice at one point and she, despite doing her best to look after him, ended up making more of a mess than being helpful. Not that he was going to say as much. Still, he appreciated the thought, and she had been coming over ever since.

"OK, everybody stop!" Taiga growled, as she got to her feet, before pointing at her ward and demanding. "You. Explain. Now."

Taiga's stomach took that very moment to release a growl of its own in protest for being unsatiated.

Seeing his chance, Shirou offered her an irresistible olive branch by saying, "How about I fill you in on everything after lunch, Fuji-nee?"

Narrowing her eyes at her war dangerously, Taiga said, "This had better be the best meal you had ever cooked, Shirou. Your life may just depend on it." Taiga suddenly grunted in pain as she felt a sharp pressure on her shoulder.

Glancing behind her, she found Ritsuka putting her shoulder in an iron grip. Smiling at her, she said, "I understand you were worried about him, but please don't threaten my son."

Taiga turned to face the red headed woman and said accusingly, "About the whole you being his parents thing, do you have any proof? I mean, don't get me wrong, I trust Shirou's judgment for the most part, but this kid has been alone for…" She gave her head a shake and continued on a different track, "All I know you could be a couple of swindlers looking to get your hands on his money… And you look a bit too young to be his mom." She looked at her ward in apology as she said, "No offense, Shirou."

"None taken, I think?" Shirou didn't know whether he should be offended by such words or not. I mean, on the one hand, Fuji-nee was looking out for him, just like she always tried to do. On the other hand, she thought he was dumb enough to be swindled In the first place.

Ritsuka, for her part, just laughed, "That's just good genetics on my part, but thank you for saying so. As for the whole swindler bit? Well, thank you once again for looking out for my son's best interests Fujimura-san. You really do care about Shirou, don't you?"

"Of course I do. He's my little brother! Nobody, and I mean nobody, is going to take advantage of him if I can do anything about it."

'Nobody except you.' Shirou thought wryly but he was touched that she actually did consider him family. "I think it would be best if we carried this conversation on in the living room. Don't you think so, Fuji-nee? It's a bit rude to talk like this out in the hallway. Especially with so many guests."

Taiga's stomach grumbling in protest, again decided for, "Fine, but you're cooking."

Shirou smiled as he got to his feet, appreciating the small, but hard won victory as he replied, "I wouldn't have it any other way, Fuji-nee," Turning to Sakura, he said, "Help me in the kitchen?"

Sakura smiled brightly, concealing the mask of unease that these new people brought into the Emiya household, and the small, happy world that it made-up, being concealed behind her smile as she replied, "Of course, senpai."

A sinfully curvaceous black haired woman with violet eyes stepped forward and offered, "Do you need any extra help Emiya-san? I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty good in the kitchen myself. And like you said earlier, you have a lot of mouths to feed."

"Thank you for offering, Himejima-san, but you're a guest. I couldn't ask you to cook."

'That's right,' Sakura thought to herself defensively, 'The kitchen belongs to me and senpai alone.' Smiling at the interloper, she said kindly. "Why don't you go sit down, Himejima-san, was it? I'll go make you and everyone else some tea."

"You're too kind, Matou-chan. Thank you very much." Akeno replied, even though she glared at the younger girl a bit. She felt something off about the girl. She just couldn't place it.

The Queen and the Matou heiress had a stare off as they glared into each other's eyes for a moment, only for the stare down to be interrupted by Saber who cleared her throat. "I do believe we should all head into the house proper, now."

Neither woman missed the emphasis the Servant of the Sword put on the last word, and Sakura retreated without a backward glance towards the interior of the house.

"Ahem, please follow me and make yourselves at home while I get lunch ready," Shirou told his guests, but not before turning to Taiga and adding, "And no interrogating them in the meantime Fuji-nee, they're guests. Not gangsters in your grandfather's employ."

The Tiger of Fuyuki choked on air before she gave an indignant squawk. whether it was due to being found out or out of true annoyance was unknown. "I-I would never do that!" She denied, yet the slight warble in her tone proved otherwise.

"Just be nice, and while you're here, talk to Illya. You might learn some interesting things about the Old Man from her," While jabbing his thumb towards the pale white haired girl. "She's one of the reasons I've been so busy lately anyway."

"Eh?" Taiga turned to said girl, who looked to be about twenty in confusion and asked, "What do you have to do with Kiritsugu?"

Taking that as her cue to rescue her Oniichan, Illya gave her a polite bow, and introduced herself, "Hello, my name is Illyasviel von Einzbern, I'm Kuritsugu Emiya's biological daughter. It's nice to meet you, Fujimura-san," Straightening up, she smiled sweetly as she requested, "Please feel free to just call me Illya."

"Kiritsugu… daughter… WHAT?!"

(...)

From within the deepest depths of the Matou Mansion, In the cavernous hole that was called The Worm Pit, Zouken Makiri now known as the Elder and Head of the near defunct Matou Clan laughed to himself. Having been a man who long since went mad due to the ravages of time upon his rotting and decrepit soul, it would've been quite the hideous scene to witness… Had there been anyone present to witness it in the first place.

"Hahahahaahhaha!" The decrepit old worm, cackled to himself. "I thought I would have to wait another sixty years, and yet just days after the fifth Heaven's Feel ritual concluded, A prime opportunity has fallen into my lap. And what's more, this time there is no meddlesome priest to get in my way. May you burn in the eternal fires of hell, Kirei Kotomine, and forever wander in its depths as you search for your purpose in eternal suffering." The decrepit old grave worm laughed again. As he began to ponder and scheme on how he would use these new pieces on the board to his own benefit. Zouken knew he had to be careful, for these new unknown variables could very well lead to his own demise. That was something that he had painstakingly gone through so much to preserve over these centuries.

"I know you can hear me, my dear granddaughter," Zouken spoke to the empty air, but he knew the prime material could hear him all the same. "Don't even think about breathing a word of your… Condition to anyone. Remember, I'm far closer than any of them could possibly imagine."

He felt a tremble of fear run through the girl and knew she understood where she stood in the world… Lower than even a single one of his crest worms. 'Still, it's only a matter of time before they try and do something to help the prime material. It is in the boy's nature, after all… Hmm, perhaps I can use that to my advantage. Let them think they've won. Let them believe victory is theirs. And then once all as well…' Zouken nodded sagely to himself, "Yes… Yes, this will do quite nicely," The old worm now had a plan and all he had to do now was execute it. Once again, he chuckled to himself. "Ironically, all I really have to do is wait… And my plan will fulfill itself. Ah, the foolishness of the young. So easy to take advantage of." And so the grave worm sat, and he waited.

(...)

While one schemed, another suffered, as a young white haired nun screamed as she wreathed in pain in the Fuyuki church, bits of her body spontaneously disintegrating piece by piece, as a Crimson aura overtook her form and radiated in waves. While another nun, this one blue haired and eyed, stood by helplessly as she knew she could do nothing to help the younger's condition.

Laying in a nearby bed was a woman missing her arm from the elbow down with plum colored hair and green eyes asked, "Is there nothing we can do to help her?"

The bluenette shook her head solemnly. "She was born with a sort of special autoimmune disease, and it only reacts when she detects a demon nearby," Looking at the other occupant with a single eye, she said. "I'm surprised Caren even bothered to help you, considering your usual affiliation."

The plum haired woman nodded and as she did her best to sit up in bed with one arm, "To be completely honest, so am I. But when I came to, I was in this church with my wounds seen to. I had fully expected to die on that warehouse floor… but she saved me. She had no reason to do so. In fact, she had every reason to either leave me there or finish me off but she didn't do that. Now? Now I owe her one," She said as she did her best to shrug into a suit jacket that was missing a sleeve.

Before she could so much as put her shoes on, much less take a step towards the door, The blue haired nun asked, "And just where do you think you're going, Enforcer McRemitz?"

"Obviously if something is making her react this way, all I need to do is find it and kill it," Bazett Fraga McRemitz, enforcer for the Clocktower replied stiffly as she tried to get up.

The blue haired nun rolled her eyes, "You're in no shape to fight anyone. You can hardly even stand up at the moment. You stay here with Caren and I'll handle whatever's causing this reaction. Unlike you, I specialize in hunting demons and the like."

Bazett huffed at the sting to her pride, but found she couldn't disagree with the other woman's cold and cutthroat logic as she assessed the situation. "Ciel, Are you sure Caren will be alright with just me here to look after her?"

The Exorcist glanced over at her partner, and the Burial Agent codenamed Yumi, nodded before she replied, "Yes she'll live. she's survived worse."

Bazette pursed her lips as she replied, "Hearing that isn't exactly filling me with confidence, Ciel."

"Then I'd better make this quick. I wouldn't want her or you to worry too much," Ciel quipped as she made her way towards the steps leading up out of the basement and out of the parish proper.

After she had gone. Caren Hortensia's eyes shot open, "Where is Ciel?"

"You just missed her. She left to take care of whatever's currently causing your condition. Don't move and just sit tight. You'll be fine once she takes care of whatever's causing this," Bazett told her savior. "Do you need me to get you some water or something?"

"Lord, have mercy," Caren gasped out, as a sheen of sweat beaded her brow, "I need you to help me get up. We need to stop Ciel before she does something that could get her permanently killed."

"I'm sorry, what?" Confusion, even as Caren tried to get up and wobbled on her feet.

"I'll explain on the way, let's just hurry. Oh merciful Lord who art in Heaven, please give me the strength to endure these idiots," Caren prayed for guidance and deliverance even as she did her best to hurry up the basement stairs.

(...)

For lunch, Shirou grilled what felt like an entire school of fish, cooked an entire rice paddy's field worth of rice, and made about four dozen omelets worth of eggs, on top of grilling teriyaki chicken. He had, in essence, cleaned out what he had in his fridge. And if he weren't already turned into a devil, he'd probably be praying to God that it was enough to feed everybody. 'I might do it anyway, just in case.' He thought ruefully to himself. Glancing at Sakura, who was ever the dutiful helper in his home, he quietly asked, "I don't think this is going to be enough to feed everyone. What do you think, Sakura?"

The purple haired girl frowned before she said, "I don't know, Senpai, we'll definitely be cutting it close. You know how Fujimura-sensei and Saber-san like their second and third helpings…each."

Shirou sighed, "I was afraid you were going to say that Sakura," He then put his hands on his hips and nodded, "Well, I guess there's no help for it then, One of us is going to have to go to the store to pick up more supplies. And since I have to play the host, can I leave this to you?"

"Me senpai? Umm, are you sure? Wouldn't it be best to send Saber out? She seems to be quite quick on her feet. And she would be quite motivated to get back quickly with the groceries, seeing as she's quite hungry," Truth be told, Sakura didn't want to leave Shirou behind alone with these strangers for any length of time. She didn't trust them as far as she could throw them. Especially not that Himejima woman.

The redheaded master of the house nodded, "True. I suppose I could ask Saber."

"Ask me what, Shirou?" The blonde in question asked, as she poked her head into the kitchen.

Turning to her, Shirou asked of her, "We might not have enough supplies to feed everyone. Can I trust you to go to the market and pick up some things for lunch, Saber?"

The Servant of the Sword's glass green eyes burned with righteous indignation, "Hunger is the enemy, Shirou! Tell me what I need to get and I'll be back in a few scant minutes."

"Alright then here's all the money you should need and this is a list of what I need you to pick up for… lunch?" Before Shirou could finish talking, Saber had grabbed the list and the money and taken off out of the house, probably using mana burst. Turning to Sakura, he said "You were right, Sakura, she is properly motivated."

Sakura just gave an awkward little laugh as she said, "Well, just call it women's intuition, senpai."

"Yeah, let's just go with that," Shirou agreed as he gave off a laugh of his own.

Not even minutes later, Shirou heard his front door open and close, "That was fast, even for Saber," The third rate, Magus said to himself as he made his way to the entryway.

And when he got there, he did not find the blonde Servant of the Sword. No, instead he found a blue haired, blue eyed woman wearing a nun's habit, In between each finger, she was wielding a black key. The Mystic Code of the Executors of the Church. This particular Executor was both Elysia and Ciel. A French girl cursed with immortality because of a strange twist of fate. A poor soul both was and wasn't the vampire known as Michael Roa Valdamjong. At least, that's what his eyes told him about the history of both the weapons and their owner. Yet despite suddenly knowing all of this, the only thing he could bring himself to say in that moment was, "You're not Saber."

"No," Ciel agreed as she prepared to throw the first bunch of Black Keys, "I'm not."

"Trace on." Shirou said without a second thought at the black and white falchions Kanshou, and Bakuya leapt into his hands. Thankfully here in the narrow hallway of his home, Shiro had the advantage. The Black Keys could only be thrown in one direction, and he only needed to defend in one direction. That was directly ahead. Thus, Black Keys met with the wall, the ceiling, the floor. A clash of six different weapons ended in an instant. Shiro didn't have a scratch on him, but neither did the executioner of the church, Ciel, have to move. The two were in a stalemate.

However, it wasn't meant to last long, for the noise had drawn unwanted attention. The attention of one Taiga Fujimura, who skidded to a stop just behind her ward and screamed out "Just what the heck is going on out here?!"

"Fuji-nee, go back inside the house now!" Shirou had never barked out an order that harshly or coldly to her before, and it fell over her like a bucket of cold water.

"What's going on? Where did you get those swords? Where did this woman come from? What's?"

"Go back inside the house, Fuji-nee. I'll explain later," Shirou promised his tone cold and calculating, his eyes never leaving that of his opponent.

Now Taiga may be an English teacher now, but once upon a time she was a near nationals level champion kendoka. She knew what it was like when someone was in the zone, so to speak. And right now, Shirou was in the zone. Only this wasn't for sport. He was in the zone to fight for both his and everyone else's lives in the house. Giving his shoulder a brief squeeze, She all but ordered, "Don't die" before disappearing back into the house.

With all of his attention focused on Yumi in front of him, Shirou was trying to plan out a vector of attack. 'I can't use triple-linked Crane 's not enough room in the hallway. I can't summon Archer's bow or use anything super destructive like Caladbolg II or Hrunting either. She'd be on me quicker than I could utilize them. We're stuck in a stalemate.' The magus realized. 'Wait, no, there is one thing I could do.' He thought to himself. Dismissing his projections, he held up his hands, and politely offered, "Parlay?"

The executioner in front of him blinked in confusion for a moment, before finally saying, "What?"

"I am offering to parlay with you. You must have come here for some reason in particular. Though, I don't know what it is, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe we're both at a stalemate at the moment. So we could stand here staring each other down all day, or you could come sit down to lunch and tell me what you're doing here. What would you like to do, Yumi of the Burial Agency? Or do you prefer Ciel? Or perhaps Elysia? I don't particularly care which one."

She stiffened like marble upon hearing that last name, "How do you know that name?" She hissed out, her breath as frigid as a winter gale while her glare was as cold and piercing as icicles.

"Really? I shouldn't have to tell you that a magus never reveals their secrets, right?" Shirou joked as he played for time, waiting for Saber to return. "Now would you like to come in and sit down and have something to eat? Or we could continue trying to kill each other in the hallway. Your choice."

"I think sitting down to lunch sounds lovely."

Yet it wasn't Ciel who said that, but a very familiar voice coming from behind her. The executioner turned to find Caren Hortensia battered, beaten and more than a little bloody yet smiling all the same as she leaned on Bazett Fraga McRemit's good arm, While her other side she was being supported by what could only be the servant of the Sword Saber. Who was carrying a large bag of groceries under her arm and glaring imperiously at the armed nun who dared invade her home while she had stepped out. Like a mother hawk who had come back to her nest to see her chicks being accosted.

"Well, this was not how I wanted to greet the winner of the Holy Grail War, but it'll do I suppose. Nice to meet you, Emiya Shirou-san. I'm Caren Hortensia The new overseer of Fuyuki City… I'm also the daughter of Kirei Kotomine. And I'd very much like to know why you killed my father… And May God have mercy upon your soul if I do not like your answer."

'Ow my head.' As pain lanced through his head as the nun invoked the Lord's name. But that was the least of his problems at the moment. No, because now he had to deal with a vengeful nun. 'And I thought Gilgamesh was bad enough,' The red headed devil thought to himself.

Sighing, he said, "Please, won't you come in? It seems we have a lot to talk about."

"Oh yes, we do indeed," Caren agreed as she limped into the Emiya household, more than prepared to start an inquisition if it meant getting the answers she came here for.

(...)

Word Count: 10,770 Number of Pages: 22 Date Completed: 9/17/2024

(...)

AN: It. Is. Done! This chapter fought me. I'm not gonna lie. It's 'hard' writing such a big cast and making sure they all get the screen time they deserve. But I did my damndest and I hope it paid off in the end. The plot is moving steadily along and… and yeah to be honest, I'm just glad that that's the case. Here's my co-author/editing team to say a few words.

Snowy:

Antagonist: アー Well I sure enjoyed this chapter. I didn't expect the sudden invasion of the church but they do seem to like surprise ambushes. Zouken the worm be plotting. Going to have to put him in his place, there are a lot of fish in this pond and many of them would like to take their pound of flesh.

Loamy Coffee: What a chapter! I see Sakura and Akeno will have a rivalry, while the worm filth Zouken plots.
First Hassan:

Thanks again for reading! This has been an Inkblot Bro's Production! Till next time, Peace!