Author's Note: Hello, Reader!
This story combines the mainline Sonic games and Boom (which also might be canon according to Sticks getting mentioned in Frontiers?) along with some elements of FNAF (child murder not included). This is my first time posting chapters as they're finished instead of writing the entire story before posting, so updates may take a while, but I will finish this eventually.
It was a beautiful day on Seaside Island, and Sonic was out for his morning stroll. He would never get tired of wind brushing past him at 300 mph, a thin layer of sea spray coating his fur as he ran along the coast. Although his route was never fully planned out, he did have a few favorite places—usually in the middle of nowhere, where the likelihood of running into Eggman's badnik patrols was much higher than finding even a single pedestrian. Some days his strolls would turn into full-on battles, but Eggman seemed to be occupied with other things today.
He had been awfully quiet ever since what happened on the Starfall Islands. Who wouldn't be? Sonic had tried give the doctor space and time to heal. That was all he could do.
Sonic shook his head, banishing the depressing thoughts that were threatening to creep in. He couldn't fix whatever was happening with Eggman. All he could do was focus on his own life.
His stroll coming to an end, Sonic zoomed back to Tails' workshop. He was kinda-sorta housesitting while everyone was away on their solo adventures. The routine was pretty easy, basically watering the plant and checking on various gadgets.
After making sure that nothing was broken and the plant was sufficiently watered, Sonic was bored. No Eggman activity meant nothing for him to stop, his closest friends were unavailable, and he had already finished Tomatopotamus 2's single-player campaign twice. With nothing else to do, he decided to visit Hedgehog Village.
The village was an odd one, simple stalls with grass roofs housing the latest modern conveniences. Sonic liked the laid-back tropical island vibes, but its aesthetic was tainted by the fact that they looked this way only because the building materials were cheaper than bricks or concrete, and therefore easier to replace if the buildings were destroyed.
Again.
Despite Tails' workshop being so close by, this was his first time back here in months. He walked past the buildings slowly, reminiscing about the fun times he and his friends had spent here. The New Year's party they held in the square, Dude-itude's first concert at the stage, the countless conversations over subpar meals at…
"Meh Buddy's Funtime Burger Party World?" Sonic stared in confusion at the sign on the large, imposing building that had replaced the local burger stand. "What happened to Meh Burger?"
"Why, Sonic T. Hedgehog! As I live and breathe!"
A familiar-looking ox, clad in an expensive-looking suit complete with a top hat and cane, had just come out of the main entrance. Sonic's eyelids and ears drooped as he greeted him.
"Oh, hey Mr. Slate. What's going on here?"
"The future, my dear hedgehog! Ever since Dr. Eggman stopped attacking the village, business has increased and repair costs have plummeted, finally making this location lucrative enough to justify remodeling it into our newest project! What once was a humble hamburger stall is now a monolith of food-themed entertainment for children of all ages! In fact, we're just making some finishing touches before the Grand Opening Ceremony tomorrow!"
"Aren't there, like, five kids in this entire village? How are you planning on making money when they get tired of… whatever this is?"
"Oh, Sonic, children of all ages includes adults as well! This isn't simply a play place for little tykes, far from it! This is a place for all to revel in the wonder of a child, but with the wallets and lack of parental supervision of adults!"
"Aaand there it is," Sonic mumbled under his breath. At normal volume, he said "Alright, I'm off to be somewhere that's not here. Good luck with the 'monolith of entertainment.'"
"Wait! As one of the village's most famous heroes, and presumably the one who stopped Eggman's crimes once and for all, how would you like a tour? I could even throw in a free Limited-Edition Meh Buddy & Friends Reusable Cup!"
Sonic paused. He wanted nothing to do with a cash-grabbing kiddie palace, especially one that had replaced his favorite cash-grabbing burger joint, but he was sooo bored. And Tails might like that reusable cup…
"Ok, sure. Show me what this place is all about."
Mr. Slate clapped his hands in delight. "Wonderful! Right this way!"
Sonic followed Mr. Slate into the restaurant. A "clean" cover of some pop song immediately blared into his ears. There were tables with chairs in the center of the dining room, slightly larger and better quality than the previous ones. They looked old, but still harder to get a splinter from. The windowless walls were lined with 8-bit arcade cabinets and a couple pinball machines. The most surprising part was the stage at the opposite end of the room. It held animatronics of a flicky with a bowtie, a clucky with a bib, and a picky with an eyepatch and… pants? Ok then. The clucky was holding a smiling burger on a plate, most likely the new Meh Buddy.
"Wow. This is really… retro."
"Isn't it? Every decoration in here was designed to entrance the new generation of Meh Burger, while remembering our roots."
Sonic was pretty sure that arcade games and animatronics had nothing to do with Meh Burger's roots, but parents and grandparents might ignore that for a chance to relive the "good ol' days."
"Does this also include a revamp of the menu?"
"Why, of course! The Meh Buddy's Funtime Burger Party World menu includes brand-new entrees and desserts, along with reimagined classics!"
Mr. Slate handed Sonic a menu. It was mostly the same as the old Meh Burger menu, but it now included pizza and cake, both sold whole or by the slice. In the bottom left corner was an advertisement for some kind of gimmicky food challenge.
"What's the Butter Lover's Belly Buster?"
"The what?" Mr. Slate took the menu back. "Oh my, that's not supposed to be there. It was going to be a basket containing six sticks of butter. If a customer finished them all, they would get a free sticker and a 15% off coupon for their next visit. Unfortunately, it was scrapped due to the island's ongoing butter shortage. Someone must have mixed an old mock-up menu in with the rest. To think, without you, we may not have caught it before opening! Our reputation ruined before we could blink!"
"I'm sure it wouldn't have been that bad."
"Believe me, boy, when you spend enough time in the restaurant business, you learn a thing or two about public image. On an ordinary day, such a mistake may be overlooked, but on the Grand Opening! Can you imagine?! It's a good thing nothing gets past your watchful eyes! You know, Sonic, we could use eyes like yours."
"Oh no, no no no, no way am I getting wrapped up in this again. I enjoy Meh Burger strictly as a consumer."
"It wouldn't be at all like last time! If you want, I can tell you-"
"Nope!" Sonic interrupted. "Thanks for the tour gotta run!"
After escaping, Sonic decided to stop at the first shop he saw, which happened to be the toy store. The tiny store was chock full of figurines, plushies, and all kinds of games.
"Welcome in!" said the shopkeeper, a cheerful grin plastered on her face. "How may I help you today?"
"I'm just looking around today, thanks."
"Got it! I'll be here if you need anything!"
Sonic began to browse the wares. Maybe he could pick up something else to kill time. He spied a strategy game that Tails would love. Maybe he could buy it for his next birthday. He would be back home by then. Amy and Knuckles would be home soon, too. He wasn't sure if Knuckles would like anything from here, but Amy would probably… oh. Amy.
"Oh no," he said out loud.
Amy's 13th birthday was this Saturday, and he hadn't even thought about her present. She usually liked anything he thought to give her, even those sloppy homemade coasters from two years ago, but this was one of those milestone birthdays. Sonic remembered how excited he had been to finally become a cool teenager, and Amy made these things into an even bigger deal. He had to get her something downright radical if he was going to avoid the wrath of her hammer.
"Is there a problem?" asked the shopkeeper.
"What? Problem? Pssh, no way!" He laughed nervously. "But I might need some help. Do you have any Fuzzy Puppy Buddies stuff? I have a friend who loves that game, and her birthday's coming up."
"Of course! Right over here!" She led him to a shelf holding a few pink, sparkly boxes. "We have all the Fuzzy Puppy Starter Packs, as well as a few Surprise Puppy Party Boxes and the new limited edition Fairy Puppy Princess Grove Expansion Pack."
"Uhhh… how about the expansion pack?" Amy had been playing for a while, but if the pack was brand new, she probably wouldn't have time to buy it yet.
"Wonderful choice! Will that be all?"
"Yeah, thanks."
"Great! That'll be 350 rings, please!"
"Ok, let me just…" Sonic realized that he left his rings at Tails' workshop. "One sec."
He zoomed back and searched everywhere, but he only found three rings. Ah, right. After realizing how much cash Sonic left laying around, Tails had practically begged him to open an account at the local bank. Fortunately, he also found his new debit card. By the time he made it back to the shop, it had been almost five seconds. He handed the card to the shopkeeper, hoping she wouldn't notice how long it had been.
"Ah, paying with card today?" She swiped the card in the reader, and her smile faltered. "I'm sorry, Mr. Hedgehog, it seems you're a bit short."
"I am? By how much?"
"It looks like you currently have… 22 rings in your account."
Twenty-two?! How did he only have 22 rings? …Because of the costume he ordered for Amy's party. He usually didn't buy clothes, so he didn't think about how it would mess up his budget. Apparently, it would mess it up a lot.
"Sorry, it looks like I won't be buying this today. Could you, uh, put it on hold for me?"
"Sure! We can hold it for up to one week!"
"I see. I'll be back in a week, then." Sonic ran off.
He took a quick loop around the island to think. One week to cough up over 300 rings? How was he gonna manage that? Most of his income came from rewards for saving people, gifts from friends, and the occasional odd job. With little to no activity from any of the typical big bads, that first one wasn't an option, and the second one was even less so.
He remembered Mr. Slate's offer. He knew Meh Burger had some shady business practices, but it would be easy to get hired. He realized he had run out before even hearing what job he was being offered (and before getting that souvenir cup). It couldn't hurt to at least consider the position, right?
Sonic went back to Meh Burger. Mr. Slate was there, talking to some construction workers outside. He noticed Sonic immediately.
"Ah, Sonic! What brings you back here so soon?"
"I forgot my free cup."
"You did! You ran out before I was able to finish the tour! …Is that the only reason you're here?"
"Uh, could we maybe talk more inside?" The longer they stood out there, the more likely it was that someone was going to come over and see them, which Mr. Slate would likely twist into some sort of endorsement. Sonic wasn't going to give this place any more free publicity than he had to.
"Of course, of course, come right in."
Once inside, they sat down at one of the tables. Dave the Intern was doing some sort of paperwork at the table next to them.
"Oh, hey Dave," Sonic greeted.
"Hey, Sonic. I, uh, can't serve you right now. You know we're not open yet, right?"
"Yes, he knows," said Mr. Slate. "Dave, get this fine gentleman a Limited-Edition Meh Buddy & Friends Reusable Cup."
"Okaaaaay, I'm going, geez."
Dave shuffled off to the back room, probably where the cups were stored.
"So, I assume you would like to discuss the details of your future employment here?"
"Possible future employment."
"Right. Might I ask what brought about this change of heart?"
"Nope. Might I ask what position you want to hire me for, and why?"
"Certainly. Our overnight security guard recently quit, with no prior notice. We have someone else lined up, but he can't be here until the weekend, Saturday night at the earliest. You would be taking his position until then."
"Why me?"
"Because you're Sonic the Hedgehog! With you around, no ruffian looking to harm this establishment would stand a chance!"
"Well, obviously. Since this job doesn't deal with food, I assume that means you'll be paying me with real, non-chilidog money?"
"That is the plan. If you don't believe me, look over the contract."
Mr. Slate snapped his fingers, and Dave placed said contract, and the souvenir cup, on the table. Sonic decided not to question why the contract was already ready for him to sign. He wasn't fluent in legalese, but he could see that there was no mention of chilidogs. His wages would be 11 rings an hour, which wasn't great, but it was more than he expected from Meh Burger. After doing the math, he realized it would be enough to buy Amy's present, which was all he needed for now.
"Huh, would you look at that. And you're sure this would only be temporary?"
"Completely. Do we have a deal, Mr. Hedgehog?"
Sonic took a deep breath. This was for Amy.
"Sure."
°.•.°.•.°
After dinner, Sonic got a call from Tails. They had had almost no contact while he was off on his solo adventure, so it was a welcome surprise.
"Hey, Tails! How're ya doing, bud?"
"Hi, Sonic!" his little buddy's excited voice rang out. "Today was amazing! I found some new parts to upgrade the Tornado, and Professor Pickle is teaching me how to read the ancient language used for the Gaia manuscripts."
"That's way past cool, little bro!" Sonic loved hearing Tails relay his adventures. Although part of him wished he could be there, too, he knew that Tails needed space. He kept telling himself that they would be together again soon enough.
"Isn't it? I still have a long way to go, but I was able to decipher a whole paragraph on my own over lunch! I've been updating the Miles Electric's translator, too, so it should be able to read almost as well as the Professor soon. Oh! By the way, I called you tonight because we're going on a research trip to one of the Gaia temples tomorrow, so this might be our last chance to talk before Amy's party."
"A research trip, huh? Sounds fun! Just be careful not to make it like our last trip to the ruins of an ancient civilization."
"Don't worry, I'll be careful. What about you? Did you do anything cool today?"
"I don't know about cool, but it's definitely something. Did you know they remodeled Meh Burger?"
"No, I didn't. Did it get sold to another megacorporation? Oo, is it a Slushy King, now?"
"I wish. They built an actual building to replace the ol' burger stall, and now it's a kiddie entertainment center. They've got a play area, complete with a ball pit, some arcade games, and some kinda dinner show with animatronics."
"That sounds fun! Maybe we could go together when I get back."
"I thought you'd say that. I managed to snag you a free limited-edition cup." Sonic turned the cup over in his hands. It was covered in cartoony pictures of the restaurant's mascots, and its domed lid was printed to look like Meh Buddy's top bun. The straw didn't seem to be branded in any way, but it looked functional, at least.
"Thanks, Sonic! So, were all the customers getting free cups, or…"
"Sorta. I was the only customer there at the time. Mr. Slate gave it to me, along with a personal tour of the place. He even offered me a job."
"…Sonic, are you saying you're going to work at Meh Burger again?"
"Only for a few days. Well, nights. It's not going to be like last time. Their night guard quit last minute, and they need a temporary replacement. I start tonight at midnight."
"And you're sure this is a good idea?" Tails asked. "You read the fine print, right? You're a temporary employee, and they pay you in money, and you didn't accidentally sign your life away to a restaurant? Was there even a written contract?"
"Everything is fine, Tails, trust me. I read the contract. Plus, buying that costume for Amy's party kinda dipped into my savings, so I need the money."
"Enough that you're willing to work for Meh Burger?"
"Yes. All I'm doing is looking at security cameras for six hours. If anything goes wrong, which it won't, I can take care of any intruder in 30 seconds, tops. Rinse and repeat 'til Saturday, then boom! Done."
"…Ok, if you say so."
"Great! Now, tell me more about this research trip."
After minimal coaxing, Tails happily rambled about unexplored chambers of the temple, then moved onto other ancient cultures and the possible links between them. Sonic butted in occasionally to ask questions and tell stupid but creative jokes that made both of them laugh. Tails had to go to bed about an hour later, and they said goodbye. Sonic was glad there were only 5 days until the party.
°.•.°.•.°
At 11:55, Sonic arrived at Meh Buddy's Funtime Burger Party World. He entered through the back door and donned his uniform, a black vest and baseball cap, both with "SECURITY" written across them in big, white letters. The security office was small, its only furniture being a desk and chair. On the desk was a tablet, an old fan, and a paper drink cup that someone else had left there. After disposing of the leftover soda, Sonic sat down and picked up the tablet.
Aside from the basic apps, it had MB_Employee, which he guessed was the only one relevant to him. The app's main menu provided access to employee training videos, the status of various alarms, and the security camera footage. He checked all of the cameras and didn't find anything unusual.
"Might as well watch the videos, I guess."
He clicked on the first video in the series. Dave the Intern popped up on the screen.
"Uh, hello? Hello, hellooo? is this thing on…?" Dave asked in his whiney, nasally voice. "I'm gonna assume it's on. Ok. Uh, so, hi. I'm Dave, and I'm a…" he squinted at a notecard that probably wasn't supposed to be in frame "…'highly-valued Meh Burger employee.' And, um, they wanted me to record this for the employees at the new restaurant, so… uh, yeah. Let's see, this video is for… wait, security guards? I didn't know we had security guards. What are they even guarding?"
Someone out of frame whispered something to Dave.
"Oh, yeah, animatronics. Those are probably pretty expensive. Um, so, you're gonna have to keep out intruders, like vandals, thieves, uh… just, anyone who isn't supposed to be there. And keep an eye on those robots, too. When the building was under construction, we had a problem with pranksters moving them in the middle of the night, apparently."
He put a hand to the side of his mouth and half-whispered "I personally think it's Jeremy trying to scare people, since whoever it was didn't set off any alarms, but uhhh… y'know, better be safe than sorry." He dropped the hand back to his side and continued at a normal volume.
"There are cameras all around the restaurant. You should be able to access them through your MehTab. Remember to check them throughout the night. If you see something weird and you wanna check it out, or if you just need to stretch your legs, feel free to do that. Just know that Meh Burger, inc. is not liable for any damages to your property or person, up to and including death. Not really sure how you could manage to die here, but uh… yeah. It's in the waiver you signed. Ok, looks like that's all for this video, so just… get to work, I guess. Oh, and have a meh-volous day."
Sonic stared at the screen for a second.
"Ok, keep out the pranksters, got it. Let's check those cameras."
Sonic switched to the camera viewer and took a quick look at the other rooms. They all seemed fine to him.
After two hours of patrolling and checking cameras with no changes, Sonic kicked his feet up to take a nap. He had meant to rest before work, but he had stayed awake watching those short videos where people read memes over video game footage or cooking tutorials. Since this was a small town, and Egghead wasn't a problem, there probably wouldn't be any threats, anyway. Even if there were, no intruder could get past the Sonic the Hedgehog.
He woke to the sound of an alarm signaling the end of his shift. He must've been more tired than he thought. He turned the alarm off and gave the place a quick once-over.
"Yep, everything looks fine over- wait a sec."
He inspected the stage. Meh Buddy had somehow fallen off of the clucky's plate and rolled all the way across the room. He picked up the faux burger and placed it back on its perch.
"There ya go, bud! Right back where you belong! Now, don't let me catch you running off again." Sonic waggled his finger at the burger, then chuckled to himself. "Welp, time to clock out. That wasn't too hard."
Sonic clocked out as fast as the system would let him and ran back to Tails' workshop.