Loke pov
From the moment I saw her, it felt like I had known her for a thousand years. I couldn't remember anything, but I remembered her. "Loke," she says to me, with confusion in her voice. Is that my name? I feel as if I have done something terribly, inexplicably wrong to this woman and many others. I need to die. I must atone. "What are you doing here Loke, I thought you were dead!" said the woman. I know that voice. What is her name? Digging into what little memory of my past I had left, I found it. Lucy…
I told her I would stay, but here I am, walking away. I told her I would explain what was wrong. But she will never understand that I do not deserve her, because she is the strong, amazing, and beautiful Lucy , who can find my light, but I am just Loke here , an escaped fugitive who attempts to meddle with the path of the light. Hearing something that sounds vaguely like my name on the wind, I walk faster. I must get out of this godforsaken town. Leaving, possibly for good, I now regret that I never looked back.
"Why can't you tell me? Why can't you give me your answer?" Lucy asked me. I had been giving her half answers for months, avoiding her, never giving her a true answer. I can't. My confusion and dark thoughts have overwhelmed me, forcing me to spend all my time fighting them instead of coming up with and answer, forcing me to try to understand this world instead of myself. There are many things in this world more important than me, but she doesn't think so. Lucy acts as if I'm the center of the world. "Because I don't know, myself."
After Loke left, sometimes life didn't feel real. Sometimes it felt like the world was frozen, or even like he would walk around a corner and give me a kiss. Yet still most of the time I felt normal, like nothing was wrong. This went on for about year, but then I finally realized he would probably not come back this time. I steeled myself and tried to make myself forget about him, but I could not. The fact that he would never come back to Magnolia never left my head. But then, on one lazy Saturday, he came home.
I remember the day when Loke came back. We sat together in my room at Fairy Hills for catching up, not caring about the rules. However, no matter how much I pried, he would never tell me where he went. Where he would disappear for weeks, or even months. I was confused at first, but finally I realized that he must be doing something wrong, like he did back in the old days, so I decided to try following him. I could only follow for so long though. By the time I had figured it out, I was too late.