sensei.

Tapping her feet with barely contained exuberance, Lucy grabbed her towel from her closet and made her way to bathroom.

She woke up an hour earlier, washed her hair thoroughly, maybe applied a bit of concealer adorned by mascara on her eyelashes. She dressed to impress and right now, there was only one person whom she wanted to have her eyes on.

She left her dorm 15 mins before time, undergoing a mayhem of mosaic emotions ranging from happiness, anticipation, and impatience, all at the time same, but above all- the urge to hold him in her arms again.

Her stubborn hair refused to stay in place, perturbed again and again by the breeze while she waited for him at their usual spot.

She chewed her lower lip in exasperation as she grew awfully impatient by every tick of the clock. It was 20 mins past their scheduled time and Loke was nowhere to be seen. She half expected him to ambush her playfully.

She took at her watch again.

45 minutes past the scheduled time

Desirous, her brows knitted in distraught, her mind started conjuring up the worst-case scenarios that could occur to him. Loke was punctual. He was never late.

Her hands started trembling slightly but she brushed away her paranoia and started treading towards his residence.

Maybe he woke up late? Or maybe he is stuck somewhere?

Despite her reassuring herself and intaking long breaths, she couldn't help but wallow into scepticism. She had a terrible feeling; something wasn't right with Loke. She felt as if he wasn't alright.

Her flowing hair came to a standstill as she stopped running and stood in front of his flat door. She rung the bell a few times but to no avail. She finally dared to push the door open and was astonished to find it unlocked.

He wasn't this careless. Did someone break in?

As soon as she stepped into his flat, she was hit by a repugnant and revolting smell. She held her breath. The hallway was devoid of light, safe for the little glow coming out from his bathroom at the right end of the hall. She switched on the lights and her brows twitched in concern upon seeing traces of vomit on the floor, near his dining table.

The faint vomit trail followed the end of the hall, ending at the bathroom, where she found him, distressed and coughing, bent over his toilet and forcefully regurgitating the contents of his stomach. The bathroom floor was ruined.

There was puke everywhere. She hastily abandoned her purse, crouched near him and held her palm against his forehead. Her other hand was busy rubbing up and down his spine. He didn't look up and meet her eyes until he had barfed at least 3 more times.

She wordlessly hoisted him up and helped him get to the sink where he spit and gurgled the bitter residual with tap water. She rinsed his face and his hands and helped him splash water in his eyes.

'Lucy...' he attempted weakly. His throat felt rancid and his eyes were prickled with wetness.

'Don't speak yet. Let's get you changed first'

She led him to his bedroom and get him out of his vomit clothes. She requipped into her casual attire as well. She got some puke on her date dress but that was least of her concern.

Loke sat at the edge of his bed, starring at the floor, his palms clutching the bed sheet; his knuckles turning white. His breathing marked by convulsiveness, forcing his eyes to close intermittently. The scorching sensation in his chest had almost withered down, not quite entirely though. He blamed the inevitable seasonal flu.

He vaguely acknowledged her presence; not quite recuperated from his episode. He sighed in gratification, when he felt her palm push his bangs to check his temperature, as he was tenderly being laid back into his pillow.

'No fever at least', she heaved in relief. I'll bring you half a lemon with some black salt sprinkled on it. Lick it slowly. Okay?'

He nodded feebly and his eyes pursued her until she exited the room.

He almost passed out until she shook him gently and handed the lemon.

Making sure not to gag him further, she worked up to find some sizable wash cloth and started cleaning his bathroom, sink, the hallway with vomit traces and his dinning room.

She washed her arms and legs before going to check on him.

'How do you feel?', she asked when she entered his room.

'A bit better. I can't have more lemon.'

'Alright love', she took the lemon from his hand and empathetically smoothened his untended ginger locks,' I'll be right back.'

She returned with a mixture of sugar, salt and water and instructed him to have one teaspoon at a time.

'Don't go...', his small request halted her in her tracks when she turned to leave the bed, ' I only have to double check a few things. I will be back before you know it'. She cradled his cheek and gave him a small peck.

'Okay', he whispered back drowsily, his eyes threatening to shut any moment.

Being the meticulous person she was, she cleaned the hall and bathroom once again, making sure it didn't stink, and locked his front door before washing her hands thoroughly. By the time she returned, Loke had finished his drink and was fast asleep, laying on his back. She tucked him with enough blankets, placed a water jar on his coffee table and took a seat next to his bed after mentally taking a note if he would require anything else.

He woke up two hours later, refreshed and a little hungry, and saw her napping besides him.

'Lucy', he called her twice.

She blinked and then suddenly remembered where she was.

'Loke! Are you okay now?', perching next to him on his bed, she took his hands in hers. She caressed them, firmly.

'Yes, I feel a lot better'

'Do you still feel nauseous? Even just a little? Don't hesitate to tell me!'

'No..', suddenly feeling embarrassed, 'I am quite alright, I better get some medication in case I feel like barfing again'

'I already got you some from Porlyusica for the time being. We can still visit her in the evening and you can tell her a detailed account of your symptoms'

'Why didn't you tell me you were unwell?', she asked after a moment of pause.

'I sort of had a slight stomach ache when I returned yesterday. I was excited to see you so I slept on it. It became rather unbearable when I woke up today. I was hoping it would go away eventually but it kept on becoming worse. I am sorry. You had to wait for me all this time.' He looked at his hands, his expressions brimming remorse.

She shook her head in disbelief, 'Idiot, I was so worried about you'

'You cleaned my vomit. I am so embarrassed I brought myself to this state due to my own hard-headedness and absurdity. Thank you, Lucy and…I am sorry', he added the last bit quietly.

'What are you apologising for?', she swiped away the sweat reeling at his forehead with her thumb. Her palm cupped his cheek.

'We promised each other, didn't we? That we would take care of each other, always. It wasn't a superficial affirmation on my behalf. I love you, Loke and I want to take care of you, even the gross stuff.'

'But…I didn't want you to see me covered in vomit. It's too early for you to see my pathetic side. I should have taken a medication yesterday but I was giddy to get ready for our date. I wanted to go one with you'

'We will have plenty of opportunities ahead', she reaffirmed gently,' and Loke…'

'Hmm?'

'It's okay to depend upon me. We are a couple, aren't we?'

He averted his eyes and pouted.

'We work as a unit, a team. You can't keep yourself burdening with things that will suffocate you eventually. You have to communicate with me and speak up. Okay?', she ruffled his head and made him lay in her lap. The back of His head fit against her thigh flawlessly and he felt an extreme urge to kiss her. But he withheld himself until he brushed his teeth.

'I know you have always been a private person and I won't invade your boundaries but sweetheart, now you also have to do things that fall within our grid.'

Her words etched deeply within his mind but he couldn't help but think how burdensome it would be for her to take care of him.

'Stop thinking', as if reading his mind miraculously, she broke his chain of thoughts and flattened his frown with her thumb. 'Taking care of you is not a chore for me', she whispered urgently, 'It makes me feel even closer to you. You would have wiped my vomit if our places were reversed right?'

'Without a doubt', he answered without missing a single heartbeat, clasping his palm over hers.

'Then learn to receive care in return as well. Relationships are all about giving and taking, to and fro of care and affection without keeping tabs'

Her voice gently coaxed reason into his rigid brain as he realised how unreasonable he behaved. They shared a life together. He wasn't a fugitive anymore who walked alone. His decisions would ultimately have an effect on her as well.

He brought her palm to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

'Thank you, Lucy. I love you so much'. He smiled at her, with such sincerity and devotion that it nearly flooded her heart.

'idiot', she chuckled lightly.

'I made you porridge. Are you hungry?', she continued.

'Yes please'

'I'll heat it'

Loke protested when she sent him back to bed after he offered to at least take care of the dishes. He huffed in restlessness but accepted his fate. He changed his damp clothes and bed sheets and was feeling much better after which, he patiently waited for his love to return to his side. Loke always slept better when she was beside him.

Though Lucy was generally at the receiving end of his pampering, she was happy enough to return the favour when he asked for it, for the first time, hesitantly. She shifted her arms so he could comfortably lay his head on her chest and wrap his arms around her navel. He dozed off soundly as she abetted this process by ranking her fingertips, gently, in his scalp.

She wasn't bothered about their little rendezvous anymore, they could reschedule it anytime, for now, she wanted him to feel better.

She stomped her foot and turned when she heard a voice call out to her. And she exactly knew whom it belonged to.

His eyes met hers as he snaked his arm around her waist and gave her a long kiss on her cheek.

'Ready?', he barely whispered ,with rich warmth, in her ears.

'Yes!', she smirked and didn't let go of his hand.

'Alright, sleeping naked is objectively better than sleeping with clothes. You win'

Lucy did a mini victory dance as Loke snorted at her childish, but equally cute, tactics.

They left the window open to allow some breeze spill into their bedroom. There was no etch of light, safe for some moonlight entering through the casement. They didn't mind it though. It felt rather intimate to cuddle naked without engaging in any sexual act.

'Penetration is hard', she blurted out loud after the room became mum.

Loke smirked giving her a look.

'We will get there, love. Baby steps.'

He had a gut feeling that Lucy somehow felt guilty for not being able to go all the way even after trying a few times, at separate occasions. Not that he minded.

'It's so easy when they show it. It just slips right through it.'

'How much porn did you watch?'

'It was for research purposes Loke!', she defended herself vehemently while Loke couldn't stop himself from cackling.

'You know that porn is fabricated, right? There isn't a speck of realism in it'.

She pulled a face and turned away from his sharp gaze defiantly.

'I know. It's just…. Why am I not able to do it?'

He adjusted his left arm to face her and wrapped his right arm around her naked torso, pulling her closer to him.

'Then tell me something'

'What?'

'Why do you tense up and cover up your vagina when I try to touch your inner thighs while sitting in front of them?'

She grimaced, exhaling audibly ,'I get conscious all of a sudden.'

'Why? You are perfect', As if to lay emphasis on his argument, he leaned forward and stroked her cheek, 'Why do you think like that?'

'it's… not clean'

'Babe…'

'I know', she interrupted, 'I know that porn is unrealistic and they get their genitals bleached. Mira appeared in various magazines and this is a common practice in modelling industry. I …. still get conscious despite knowing this fact. It's an automatic reflex'

'And…I think its gross…down there'

Loke twitched his brow in disbelief. In his mind, Lucy was the embodiment of perfection. But if she harboured any doubts regarding that fact, he would unbind her knotted insecurities every time they tangled themselves.

'I think it's almost inevitable to have this thought since none of us have any experience in physical relationship. We are discovering the route to pleasure ourselves. Some trial and error are bound to take place. That being said, my love, I think it's pretty normal to have pubic hair down there. I don't expect you to be meticulously pristine. I have some as well.'

The conversation was about to take an awkward turn but being with Lucy he realised one significant aspect. It's important to have uncomfortable conversations in order to assuage any thorny constrains threatening to prick later.

'Our pubic areas are mostly enclosed and undergo sweating. They can sometimes smell bad due to it, well not quite, unless you have a very unhealthy diet and lifestyle overhaul. You know that right?'

'I do. Then…maybe', suddenly being struck with a thought,' I can take a bath before…You know…indulging into one?'

'Well sure. That's fine by me if it can help you alleviate your apprehension and reluctance. I have some pubic hair too. Did you find that disgusting as well?'

She widened her eyes and replied instantly,' No, not at all'

'I could see that from how responsively you were sucking me'

'I couldn't help it. Your dick was tasty', she smirked making his ears red and ducked her face to capture his lips in a long passionate kiss.

'You were amazing at it. I only showed you once how to give a handjob and you mastered that skill already. I have to say, I don't enjoy masturbating unless it's from you'

'Really?', she cracked a smile that made him kiss the corner of her lips once again. 'I thought you would-…'

'cum in your mouth?', finishing her question.

She nodded her head in curiosity.

'Lucy you are my girlfriend, not a casual sex friend.' She closed her eyes and let him kiss her eyelids.

'and….. I enjoy our time a lot. And I want you to enjoy it as well. I want to make you cum. But you have to let me touch it'

'You still touched it. Just not directly', she replied as a matter of fact.

'Ah ha', he exclaimed in sudden realisation,' so you didn't have an issue when I tried to finger you while you were sitting in my lap or, when you were leaning against my chest?'

'Yeah…I am comfortable with those positions, just not the ones where you look at me directly'

'But love, I have to see it in order to understand its mechanism'

She pursed her lips. He was correct. She remembered how he inadvertently brushed the back of her vagina and she jolted up in pain.

'Hey listen', he nestled his nose against her sleek jaw, 'do you trust me?'

'With all of my heart'

Taking her face within his hands, he peppered her face with his innocent pecks, from her jawline, to her temple- from her forehead to her supple cheeks, finally on her lips.

'Then I promise you, that we will move at your pace. We will conquer each and every step, slowly and thoroughly, fully savouring it. I won't do anything that will shake up your trust on me.'

She couldn't stop her eyes from getting wet as she lurched into his chest, hugging him, pulling his back closer and closer to her body.

'Thank you', she smiled through her tears, 'I love you'

'And I have to disagree with your earlier argument', she continued, 'I enjoy being intimate with you. Orgasming is not the only way to enjoy sex. I loved when you stimulated my clit, it made me crazy', she rubbed her thighs unconsciously and her eyes started sparkling in lust.

'Come to think of it, you really became wet when I did it and you were helplessly squirming in my lap. It aroused me as well. Fingering you arouses me so much'

'I liked that position, when you held me from behind and kissed my neck and my shoulders. It was searing hot and sensational'

'I'll do it more often in that case. Is there anything, you want me to do next time?

'Maybe…we can try doggy style again? It was easier to slip your dick, wasn't it?'

'Yes, because I was able to touch and work my way into it. It requires trial and error, Lucy.'

She nodded her head in agreement, 'I understand'.

'Loke?', she whispered, looking concerned.

'Yeah?'

'how will it fit in? I…. I tried to finger myself but the folds were too tight. How will we do it? And it sorts of pains when we try to have intercourse'

'Let's use lube next time. And I wouldn't do full penetration. We can reach do that in later stages. Relax. You are wonderful'

She snuggled into his neck quietly.

'It's okay. We will figure out together', he mumbled into her scalp.

His arms held her waist protectively as he left chaste kisses on her shoulder blade. With virtually no space between them and their legs entwined together, Lucy felt herself a lot more comfortable with her body as compared to the start of the conversation.

'I also want you to lick and suck the backside of my thighs, when I am laying on my back', she admitted sheepishly, blushing at the prospects of it.

'That sounds sexy. I'll enjoy doing it', he raised his brows in new found revelation and his lips were weaved in a small smirk. He stroked her fingertips, interlacing them with his.

'I really want to go all the way Loke. I don't know why I got dry all of a sudden when we were trying.'

'Sex is a mental stimulation, Lucy. You won't enjoy it unless you surrender yourself to your desires. You need to let yourself loose.'

There was a pensive pause.

'Next time, I try to touch you, just sit back and relax. Don't think about being gross because its not. Just enjoy and lay back comfortably. I promise you will have a good time', he smirked and winked at her.

'You are going to make me wet if you keep talking like this'

'You enjoy dirty talk, don't you?'

'I enjoy everything we do in bed. And outside bed', this time, she shifted herself and let him kiss her neck.

'You are beautiful. The most wonderful woman I have ever laid my eyes on.'

His palms loitered down her sides to rest on her voluptuous hips. And then back up again in a cycle.

'I am so lucky to have you besides me, my love', she murmured into his hair, blissfully.

'Nope. That would be me'

'Alright, this will spark a long debate ending in an impasse and we don't have time for that, Loke.'

They snickered as their noses touched, wordlessly concurring to this notion.

Sleep was coming easy as she felt her perverse knots become undone after engaging in an honest conversation with Loke. She would impair any adverse connotation springing in her mind. She wanted to be touched by him. She yearned for it. All she had to do was be brave and resign herself to her impulse.

She sensed the tendrils of her self-worth rekindle itself and she smiled.

'We got to do something about that cockroach in our kitchen, Lucy.'

'That's so random', she cracked an eye open.

'I can't help it', he sniggered into her shoulder, 'it's been going at the back of my mind for hours'

'Even when we were making out?'

'No, that time is reserved for you. Both in mind and body', he purred, yawning loudly.

'Pervert', she brushed his back tenderly, in rhythmic patterns, making him drowsy,' now sleep'.