My Aunt Sally used to say to me, 'if everywhere you go smells like Muk, maybe it's time to check your own shoes.'

I've never had any Muk on my shoes. Muk are almost four feet tall. She was just criticising my perspective, saying it's lousy. I guess she's right. My perspective is lousy. But I think that's because my life is pretty dang lousy.

My name is Larry Aoki.

Recently, when I've been getting out of bed in the morning, my back's been aching. It never used to do that. I've tried doing some calisthenics, but I kind of hate myself for doing it. I guess I'm not young anymore. Somebody should warn a guy, you know? Before that happens. Can't I get a couple weeks' notice? I can't even remember enjoying being young, and all of a sudden it's taken away from me? But I digress.

My name is Larry Aoki. I work for the Pokemon League in Paldea. Until recently, I'd been pulling triple-duty, as a Gym Leader, Elite Four member, and dogsbody for La Primera, my boss. Not really sure how I ended up with that kind of schedule, but I guess I needed the money. It was getting to be a little much for me, and I'd started needling the boss for a holiday, since I'd a lot of unused annual leave, saved up over the years. I was hoping I'd hop on my Starraptor's back and fly away to Alola for three or four months. Relax at the beach, play a couple of rounds of golf, maybe drink a few pina coladas—just live my life. It didn't work out that way.

'Larry! My favourite employee, so nice of you to drop by!' La Primera had said, when I walked into her office. She'd never said that before, so my guard was dropped, you know? I came in ready to speak my terms like a man, but this was...unexpected. La Primera is a disarming presence at the worst of times, if you catch my drift. She sparkles, for a start. Apparently most people's bosses don't sparkle, but mine does. It's very alarming. My Aunt Sally told me once, 'if a woman sparkles, do what she says.' She also told me 'all women sparkle, in their own way.' Aunt Sally and La Primera couldn't look less alike—the beard is one thing—but they both sparkle, so I figure I gotta do what they say.

As soon as I looked into her eyes, my little speech about the endless hours and my backache and all the annual leave I think I read in a workers' manual somewhere that I was entitled to, all of that vanished. A twinkle in a Clefable's eye. Serves me right for breaking one of my cardinal rules — no eye contact with nobody—but like I said, the compliment was disarming.

La Primera walked me over to her desk, had me sit down, offered me tea, and started telling me about this exciting overseas assignment she had for me. A fact-finding mission. Many regions around the world have their Leagues, and though they resemble ours, with Gyms and Badges and Champions, there are many crucial differences regarding infrastructure, entry conditions, qualifications for staff and funding.

'But, La Primera. Why do we need to look at other Pokemon Leagues, when ours is the best in the world?'

A flash of inspiration from yours truly. The boss was always telling us about how great a job we were doing, usually when we asked for time off.

'Right you are, Larry, right you are. We have the best infrastructure, the best employees, the greatest of all chairwomen. We don't have to emulate others—they should be emulating us.'

'Of course, La Primera. As you say, La Primera.'

'For example, Larry, do you know of a place called Kanto?'

'I know of it,' I mumbled.

'A few years ago, there was quite the controversy involving one of their Gym Leaders, who turned out to be the leader of Team Rocket. Did you ever hear such a story, Larry?'

'No, La Primera. Never,' I said.

'That's because there was a cross-region cover-up, Larry. It'd damage the reputation of Pokemon Leagues as a whole if parents found out we were funneling their children into the open arms of criminal organisations.'

'Of course, La Primera. You're right, La Primera.'

'Under my administration, such things would never happen in Paldea.'

'Of course, La Primera. Never.'

'But we have to monitor the others, you see, Larry?

'Yes, La Primera. Monitor carefully.'

'And that is where you come in. I have a very exciting set of assignments prepared for you, my brightest and best employee. You are to leave Paldea tomorrow. I've booked you a flight to Kanto, where you are to take the League Challenge, gaining 8 badges and battling the Elite Four. I don't expect you to defeat their Champion, of course, but you should test their strength. Then you will go on to Johto, and do the same thing, and then on to Hoenn, and Sinnoh, and so on.'

La Primera suddenly stood up. I found myself standing as well. She glanced, idly, out of the window, at Mezagoza, beautiful in the morning sun.

'Yes, you will be away from Paldea for some time. I know you've wanted a break, so consider this a vacation. Indeed, consider yourself on indefinite leave until such time as your fact-finding mission is complete. I need to get to the business of replacing you here at the League and in Medali as soon as possible, so...'

'Of course, La Primera. Thank you, La Primera. I understand, La Primera.'

I found myself saying all this, even though I wouldn't understand one bit what all this meant until later.

'So we will be unable to pay you any longer,' is what she meant to say. And here I am, 35,000 or however many feet in the sky, hurtling away from my job, my home, everyone I've ever known. At least I still have my Pokemon. I checked in my whole arsenal, as a Gym Leader and Elite Four member, cause I figured I needed them for this whole fact-finding mission thing. Feels weird to be sitting here, writing this, with all of them sitting in the cargo hold. Right now, I've got nobody but myself to keep me company, but I'll be seeing them real soon once this United Airlines flight lands. What could possibly go wrong?

While I'm on this fact-finding mission, I thought I'd take up this here 'blog', as I believe the young people call it. I don't know who'd take interest in a regular working schmoe like me, but it'd be nice to have someone to write to, to pass the hours away. Any of you been to Kanto before? According to the guidebook, I need to watch out for ninjas. Is that true? It was published in '99, so I figure it might be a little outdated.

With all that said, I'm getting a bit sleepy. I'll write again once I've arrived in Kanto proper. Drop me a comment about the ninjas, or if there're any good restaurants in Pewter City. This airplane food is killing me.