Now, the minor issues with the fact that emperors do not take rejection well (and their daughters even less so in some respects), I was at the very least not being drawn into the absolute mess that was Byzantine politics. Which even in my first life were a byword for annoyingly and unnecessarily complicated and vicious. Would I take their gold and fight for them? Sure, would I do my best to simply send back some loot, plunder, slaves (as it was illegal to enslave Christians, but Muslim prisoners of war? Totally fine) back to them in return for supplies.

In addition of course, to letting some of the new blood return, as hey, they served as much as advertising our skill as trainers as anything else... plus it allowed for money to flow back into the economy. All in all, I like to think that we had been doing pretty well until we had been forced to get the hell out of dodge. Thankfully, I had already looted parts of Egypt, so it was as we needed to vanish for a while? Time to go down the silk road and into the East. Mostly as there was plenty of interesting alchemical traditions there.

Now, as I was washing up in a river? That is when she stumbled across me and I learned that apparently I don't really register that well to divine senses unless they already know I'm there. Which is how I learned that apparently the gods were real and oh fuck she was looking pissed and I had to use the damn net and slapped on the cuffs. Mostly, I'll freely admit, I had made the damn things as a test of how many enchantments I could fit into the damn things.

Which is also how I ended up fleeing back to camp, naked, with a pissed off goddess on the back of my horse. Now, some would think I would either release her or try and fuck her. I will die laughing at the sheer stupidity of the comment. Because yeah, on the one hand? She was going to be royally pissed no matter what I did, as she had been stripping as she approached the freaking stream. So yeah, I got a good eyeful even before she started screaming and trying to kill me. Secondly, she was a Greek goddess. Let the two words sink in and consider how her family deals with mortals, let alone ones that get the better of them.

Yeah, that and I was not going to stick my dick in the crazy misandrist that would do her best to turn me into an animal and hunt me down. "So. About the bindings." Yeah, I got lucky in that she could not kill me with her glare alone and that she had effectively been reduced to mortal. "I will set them to go off once I die a natural death or a century after my unnatural death." Her eyes narrowed. "In the meantime, I will not have sex with you, nor force myself on you or allow you to come to violence among my men."

I pause, as she keeps glaring with hate in her eyes. "I would like to state that I had been there and bathing already before you stumbled across me and that the only reason I am doing this is because I do not want to be turned into an animal and hunted down, as you have a reputation." If anything the glaring got worse. "Which is also why I am not going to have sex with you. I may not be the smartest or the wisest, but I am not sticking my dick into the crazy."

As I took the gag off... yeah, I was starting to pick up some of the really old curse words. Some of which were causing the amulet I had to ward off curses and poison to heat up. I lifted a jug of wine and some bread. "As part of the whole thing, I will feed you, as it would be rude otherwise."

Aphrodite

A part of her was wondering, as she watched the childish huntress seethe in bonds of purest gold, a part of her wanted to laugh, even as another part was worried about the fact that apparently there were golden nets out in the world, and she had kept a close enough eye on her 'husband' and his forge to feel that this was not his. And then the man revealed that no, he would not be completing the humiliation. Her eyes narrowed... before her lips curled into a smirk... and as she sent messengers to invite her dear mother in law in.

Hera was, for her part, annoyed to see her as was so often the case, but love and passion could not be contained! "What do you want from me."

She raised and wiggled a finger. "Ah, should I stop lending you my girdle then?" The queens eyes narrowed, even as the love goddess's lips parted in a smile, hand waving to the pool. "Why, I wanted to share the news. It would seem that a mortal captured Artemis!" Hera's eyes narrowed, mouth opening., sneer on her face. "Oh, he does not intend to do anything, she apparently stumbled across him while he was bathing and she was getting ready to." She wiggled her eyebrows. "And so, he panicked and captured her with implements that seem able to restrain a gods powers."

Now, Hera paled, as the implications became clear. "He has fled, and yet... there is an opportunity here that may amuse you." And it was even true! "I seem to recall that marriage can be established by the abduction of the intended, if they are kept in bonds, prevented from escape for a year and a day." Now, her mother in law was seeing it, a smile on her lips as she looked at her husbands bastard daughter. "Why, it would be a shame if, through no intervention of our own, the little huntress was married, wouldn't it?"

Now, as it was, Hera seemed to be considering it... and so? The girdle was laid on the table between them. "Now, the only thing that would need to be considered, is what her father would consider to be a worthy bride price for her. Entirely of course, as a question of how well he regards her."

Their eyes locked, and the queen of the gods nodded, taking the girdle and rising. A wide smile bloomed across her face, as she turned to the pool, the image of the glaring and petulant brat accepting some dinner playing out. Soon, as a gentle figure stroked the water, over the image of the moon goddess cheek, soon she would win their long war.

Dvergar

So, I had a captive goddess at my camp, as we were going to be hauling ass along the silk road and avoiding the Byzantines. One who was at the very least eating, even as she pouted and glared and cursed. Which of course is when a scroll appeared out of thin air, landing on my desk. My stomach was dropping as I opened it. And apparently? I had work to do, that would have 'grave consequences' if I was not finished with the gifts in a year and a day.

Was... was I getting commissions from the Greek gods now? Fuck... I should have accepted a place in the fucking vipers court.