Chapter One

August 2011
Boston, Massachusetts

"Have you seen the news?"

The truth for Detective Jane Rizzoli is a simple one. Yes she has seen the news, but no she does not want to think about it and nor does she think Maura ought to be worrying herself about it either. The press love nothing more than to create scandal where there isn't one and to put energy into it is only feeding the beast.

However, she knows that her best friend is precisely the type to worry, especially given her role as Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Does the fact she is the biological daughter of infamous mobster Paddy Doyle becoming public knowledge mean there ought to be a conversation had with Governor Deane? Perhaps. Does it mean she should be having this conversation? Absolutely not. Nothing good comes from this. She will not feed the media beast and she will not feed Maura's insecurities.

Jane looks up from her half eaten slice of pizza, her dark eyes landing squarely on the hazel eyes of her best friend. She does in fact look worried, just as she anticipated. Her body bristles with apprehension when she attempts to play stupid, "Which news might that be?"

Maura is not impressed. Jane stuffs the pizza in her mouth to hide the smile that wants to spread gloriously across her face. The way Maura's nose crinkles when she is none too pleased is just too adorable. Although to be fair, Jane has approximately two reactions to anything Maura does. She either thinks it's adorable or she gets unreasonably huffy in annoyance. Thankfully for their friendship's sake almost everything her best friend does is adorable.

Jane tries not to put too much thought into that, because the last time she found someone's every move this adorable she was crushing hard. It did not end well. But then again, teenage boys can be such jerks. Yes, Jane is just realising it has been that long since she actually gave a crap about romance. Not that she gives a crap here either. Maura is simply adorable. She isn't gay. She's not. Damnit. She just likes being around Maura. That's all.

A lot.

But anyways.

"Do you lie to your Mother like that?" Maura sounds a little irritated. Jane wonders if she missed something while she was deep diving into De-Nile.

Jane winces a little at the steam she imagines is coming from Maura's ears after the unintentional smirk at her own inner monologue. The smirk she can't seem to shake, as Maura's eyes start to narrow in suspicion. "I'm sorry, alright. You're just too cute when you get all worked up."

Maura blows air through her lips, creating the cutest little sound. She seems a little flustered and Jane finds herself stuffing the crust of the pizza into her mouth and turning back towards the television in response. She is so very much dead at this point and she knows it, but hey, if Maura's doing the deed it must surely be creative or would it just be clean? Strangulation probably. Poisoning? Why is she even thinking about this?

"Hey Maura," she asks, dragging her attention back towards her stone faced best friend, "How would you go about killing me, if you know, you felt so inclined?"

Better to get the answer straight from the source.

"Jane!"

Or maybe not.

"Whaaaat?" Jane whines, trying her hardest to keep up the childish act that is so far distracting Maura from the news she absolutely doesn't want to be talking about.

"I would never!"

Jane smirks. "Lies. I know you've had to have thought about it. Especially after I broke that fandangled coffee machine of yours doing precisely what you told me not to."

Maura's hands are pressed against her hips, an indicator to Jane that she might just be pushing things a little too far. "I wished you would listen, Jane. I most certainly did not fantasise about the different ways I might murder you and then dispose of your body."

There's a glint in Maura's eye that makes Jane feel proud. She knows Maura can't lie, so she is absolutely telling the truth about that particular moment in time. The glint in her eye however, suggests to Jane that she may just be putting serious thought into it right this very moment. That isn't disconcerting in the slightest. "Just anything but the icepick, alright. That's one creepy fucking calling card!"

"Jane!" Maura's exclamation is likely an admonishment for her language.

Jane's grin is stupid big when she wipes the grease from her hands on her pants and Maura's brain looks like it's about to explode. She gently pats the seat next to her on the couch and gets serious, "I know you would never do such things. You're nothing like your sperm donor."

Jane watches Maura as she fidgets with a ring on her finger before nodding and sitting down next to her. Jane motions towards the pizza and beer on the coffee table and asks, "So what's this really about? Why are you trying to soften me up with carbopalooza?"

The fact Maura's face doesn't scrunch in confusion at her silly joke and she starts worrying the ring on her finger more intensely sets alarm bells off in Jane's head. She shifts one leg up under her body on the couch and turns so that she can face her best friend. "Okay, so now you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Maura looks like she's about to cry and that sets off all sorts of protective desires within that Jane has to swallow down due to how uncomfortable she feels about it.

Thankfully Maura breaks her silence. "My position as Chief Medical Examiner is no longer tenable."

This is precisely why she did not want them talking about the day's news. Jane sucks in a deep breath and counts to five in her head in an attempt to bite back her inclination to over react to the entire situation. Because the only thing she finds untenable is the damn media for turning this into a muck raking piece of unnecessary, trashy journalism. Politicians get away with so much more and yet poor Maura is clearly stressed by this situation and it's pissing her off.

"Don't listen to the idiots in the media, Maura. You are the most moral person I know. It will blow over when they realise you are beyond reproach."

"Facts do not matter in a situation like this, Jane. It wouldn't surprise me if Governor Deane is on the phone first thing in the morning asking for my resignation."

Jane huffs in irritation. She can't exactly say how she'd like to dig into Governor Deane's background a little harder and see what skeletons she can find in case he even thinks it, because Maura wouldn't want that. Too damn moral for her own good at times.

"I think it's best that I resign my position."

Well that explains the carbs.

Jane sighs and rubs the back of her neck, thankful she didn't bother to let her hair down yet. Tension always going straight to her neck and shoulders is irritating, especially on a night like this. She feels so knotted up. "Ugh."

Maura's face softens with worry and Jane watches as she motions for her to turn around. "Let me, I know how you get."

Jane has a better idea. She gets off the couch and sits down in front of Maura, scooting backwards between her legs. A contented sight falls from her lips when she feels Maura's hands start kneading the muscles in her shoulders. It feels so good. Maura always knows how to hit the right spots.

"I don't want you to worry, we'll still talk most days."

Jane is worried. The thought of not seeing Maura every day, because some days she barely sees her as is when they work in the same building together, causes her to feel very uncomfortable. She doesn't know why she's feeling so needy, she just knows that her very soul is railing against this feeling.

Jane doesn't voice any of this, because Maura's working some serious magic back there and it is taking all of her willpower not to whimper, or moan, or make her pleasure so obviously known in any way whatsoever. She can't help but wonder if this is Maura's plan, to completely soften her up so her mind is mush and she cannot put up a fight against her decision.

"I've also been thinking about my future beyond this position and I've decided I'd like to teach. Unfortunately there are no upcoming openings here in Boston. So I've been looking at other opportunities."

"Opportunities within Massachusetts?" Jane asks hopefully in an attempt to stave off an impending sense of doom.

"No."

There it is, there's that rug being yanked from underneath her. Maura's sleight of hand does not work. Jane feels like she has been hit by a truck onto a train track, only to then be run over by a train. Maura's hands massaging her shoulders don't feel so good anymore. In fact they feel like the hands of the enemy.

"Oh." Is all she can manage without unleashing all sorts of unreasonable anger. Anger that she doesn't understand. Maura isn't taking their friendship away, she's just living her life. Who the Hell is she to be mad about that?

Fuck!

She's mad. She's so very mad.

Jane gently pats Maura's leg to indicate she's done and then climbs to her feet. She offers up a weak smile and says, "Well if that's what you feel you need to do. I understand."

She doesn't. She will never understand this decision.

It's obvious from the look on Maura's face that she is worried, but Jane doesn't have the energy or the desire to make her feel better right now. She can quite honestly barely look at her. One more question does come to mind however, "When are you leaving?"

There's a tremble in Maura's voice, she's on the verge of tears. "Tomorrow night."

One day. Her best friend is giving her one day's notice before she leaves the state. Wow. Fantastic. Great Job.

Jane stares at Maura for a hot second, swallows down the immense pain she's feeling and as casually as she can manage she says, "Call me when you get there then."

She doesn't wait for Maura's response, she just hightails it for the exit. She doesn't want to feel the pain she's feeling and she doesn't want to even begin to try and process why she's feeling so betrayed. She just knows she is. She feels so fucking betrayed. She thought she meant more to Maura, she truly did.

"Jane, please." She hears Maura beg as her hand wraps around the door handle, it causes her heart to clench a little, but she doesn't stop. Maura made her decision. She can live with it.

Jane barely makes it into her car before tears well in her eyes. By the time she starts the engine and pulls out onto the street, her face is an absolute mess of them. Her phone rings, she snatches it out of her pocket and sees that it's Maura. She immediately ends the call and tosses it onto the passenger seat. There's not a single word that can be said that will ease the ache she feels right now.

She drives on automatic pilot in the direction of her own apartment. There is no part of her actually conscious of what's going on around her. Her thoughts are spiralling into the depths of anxiety and anger. She's overreacting. She knows she is overreacting, but for the life of her she doesn't understand why. It's right there… just out of her reach.

Jane hears a car horn blare and quickly swerves back onto her side of the road. She finds the first available spot to pull over and does so. She's left shaking from the near miss. She knows she has to get it together before she goes back out on the road.

Damnit, Maura!

Jane pounds her fist against the dashboard several times, trying to excise some of the anger she's feeling. It isn't working. There's no running from this, Jane realises. This needs to be confronted head on. She needs to have it out with Maura, no matter how ugly it gets. She deserves more than to be dropped like a hot potato. So much more.

AN: So this is going to be a four chapter story. A What if it's You what if... the prompt given to me by a reader was basically, "What if Jane just tells Maura how she feels before she leaves Boston?" It'll be a little angsty, cause lets face it, that's how I roll. However it will end happily in Rizzles and you won't have to read 400 thousand plus words to get there. I hope you enjoy.