Everything hurt.
I could feel as I was dragged out of the crater I was in, voices screaming at me but they sounded so distant. My mind felt clouded, every thought a monumental effort to form.
I wasn't sure I would survive this.
Whatever Dad did he messed me up pretty good. Like, my arms are just gone and everything else feels like a giant bruise. Hell, my insides could still feel the LIGHT. It was all wiggly and stuff.
Who knew face tanking a goddamned Holy Nuke was going hurt?
Ah, I could see now.
As I was being pulled away I could see the aftermath of Dad's final stand by Satanael. Why are you named this way. It sounds like that Red Skinned Asshole.
Oh right, the damage.
Part of the Underworld was just gone. The massive field of battle was missing a full third of its area, anything caught in the blast now dust.
The Devil's were in full route, having just lost the last of their leaders.
The Angels were also pulling back, retreating to Heaven to deal with God's Death.
And The Fallen were arguing. I could see Koko Puffs screaming at the others, only to be held back by both Sham and Baraq. Couldn't see Penny anywhere so I guess she is still doing her 'super secret mission' I gave her. Hope she's still alive.
Ah, Satanael was passing me off to Umu, and she seemed distraught. Still couldn't hear her, but the tears were a big indication. Heh, told her that learning healing magic wouldn't be a waste.
I go to pat her head but just end up waving my stump around.
Right. I had been disarmed.
hehe
Damn I'm funny.
Oh right, she looks even more worried. Ah, GD is siding with Koko Puffs and is arguing with ZK.
Bad girls. You shouldn't fight amongst yourselves.
Oh wow, I was suddenly getting a lot of hate. Right, should probably use that. Thanks Angry Mango for your 'evul powa'.
Heh, God may have disarmed me, but I had the power of anime devil on my side. I was invincible.
Every stopped talking when my curses came and covered my stumps. Man I hadn't hurt this bad since my days as Angry Mango. Those people were so surprised when I beat a motherfucker with my own severed arm.
Good Times.
Oh, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
I can FEEL again!
OH GOD EVERYTHING HURTS!
WHAT THE FUCK ME.
WHY AM I DOING THIS
Oh, its over.
I have rearmed myself.
heh.
I am the funny.
Only one, which I immediately use to pat the sad away from Shamsiel. Good Umu, be happy not sad
Oh, what's this?
... oh
That Motherfucker.
wait.
I don't have a mother.
This isn't Lucifer.
God doesn't fuck.
didn't fuck.
Ah right. Dad's dead. Perverted bastard finally bit it. Lucy the Kill Stealing Fucktard took Dads heart, quite literally. Then God went 'Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies.'
I need to remake D&D. Journal, add that to my to-do list.
Where was I, oh right. Pervert's dead. Can't fight those allegations now can you. Everyone knows why you gave Gabriel her 'personalities'.
Wait wrong train of thought.
Man he musta nuked me harder than I thought.
Even the others have quieted down and are just staring at me so something must be wrong.
Oh wait, they be looking at me remaining stump.
Right, the healing through hatred.
And ...
OH DEAR FATHER!
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
I CAN TASTE THE RAINBOW!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HOLYSHITWHATTHEFU
And all better. Now I can double pat the Umu while I think.
pat pat pat pat
this is nice.
Now will you all stop staring.
No?
Well fine then, I'll stare back.
STARE
Huh, just noticed how stupid Koko Puffs Looks. I mean why the elf ears and the fangs.
You look like a vampire stripper.
And not those sexy sparkly vampires but the ugly ones.
He looks offended now.
Wait Can he Read Minds!?
How Could he never tell ME!
That bastard!
Oh, wait. I'm just talking aloud.
When did I start doing that.
No matter.
Minions I command Thee, Bring me to my Lazy Boy. I Demand comfort!
Imma sleep now, wake me up when we home kay?
pat pat pat.
hehe.
best Umu.
AN: Azazel cannot be held accountable for what brain damaged Azzy does, everyone knows brain damaged Azzy is an idiot.
This is just something for you guys while I figure out the rest of the story.