This was a story idea suggested to me by a friend of mine. Now that MHA's over, I figured I'd give it a shot and see how it goes.
I knew from a young age that people weren't born equal.
"Playing the hero, eh Deku?"
The first time I came to realize this was when I was walking by a neighborhood park. The loud, obnoxious yelling of some boys reached my ears, and I couldn't help but look for its source.
A boy about my age with dark green hair was on the verge of tears, being bullied by another boy with spiky hair. Well, not just him. He had two other boys behind him to help him pick on the poor kid, so it was fair to say that this "Deku" kid wasn't going to win this one.
I knew, even at that age, that it was wrong. Every kid is brought up being told to play nice, to be friendly, to behave. But despite knowing that, I'd just walked away.
People weren't born equal. And people like me were never meant to play the hero, to step into the spotlight to save the day. So I walked away, my back turned to an injustice any normal person would have tried to stop. Like a coward.
There are always the blessed, and the unfortunate. The haves and the have-nots. And I knew from a young age... that I wasn't in the former camp.
In the days of old, there were people who were born Quirkless. Back in those times, I suppose you could've called them the 'have-nots'. But in the current age we live in, those people no longer exist, but it's not like that inequality has vanished altogether. So then, who are the 'have-nots' of this current era, where Quirks have become commonplace and real-life Heroes walk our streets?
Even as young as I was, I knew that I was one of those 'have-nots'. The ones who could not be considered blessed by any means. Someone who had drawn the short end of the stick in the genetic lottery, doomed to be cursed by a gift far inferior to anyone else's. Because the universe had to balance out those who were truly gifted, by creating those who exist to make them look better.
Like how villains existed to make heroes shine.
People weren't born equal. Because for every kid out there who's blessed with an amazing Quirk... was someone like me, whose Quirk garnered nothing but disgust.
"Himiko. You..."
The first time Toga Himiko became aware of her Quirk had been when she found a wounded bird by the road. That had been the first time she ever saw this red, glistening liquid pouring out of a living thing's body. Curiosity was second nature to children, but in her case, it was something more akin to fascination.
Even without knowing what that liquid was, she felt herself being drawn to it. Even without understanding its importance to keeping living things alive, she felt the life pulsating within its warmth.
And so, drawn in by an instinct no different from that which compels wild animals to feed, she let her lips touch that crimson fluid.
"My child is... different."
She remembered clearly the way her mother's voice trembled as she uttered those words. The way she would avert her gaze, unable (or simply unwilling) to look her own daughter in the eye. As though the little girl sitting next to her wasn't her daughter, but something entirely alien. Filthy.
And downright abhorrent.
"She has this strange obsession with... b-blood," her mother choked out, her complexion pale at the thought of it. At the tender age of 5, Himiko had absolutely no idea why she looked like that, but said and did nothing.
In truth, she would have wanted nothing more than to ask her mother what was wrong, and to reach out and pat her on her head like her mother would always do for her when she was young. But the last time Himiko had tried, her mother had flinched and backed away, as though she had been burned by fire.
Was it her Quirk? Did her Quirk have something to do with causing others pain? Or was her mother simply surprised? She didn't know, but it told the young Himiko something very clearly: her mother didn't want any physical contact with her.
"Hmm, I see."
The person sitting across from them was a woman who looked much younger than Himiko's mother, but spoke with a voice that gave off the impression of an older person. She wore a white coat, one that those people in the big white buildings with lots of beds would wear. Himiko didn't know her name, but there was something gentle in her expression that reminded her of her parents before she had manifested her Quirk.
A gentleness that was nowhere to be found on her own parents' faces.
"It's certainly a rare case, but it's not unheard of," the woman said. "Sometimes, genetic mutations can cause a Quirk completely unrelated to the parents' Quirks to be formed. My guess is that Himiko-chan's has something to do with blood, which is why she's drawn towards it."
"Is there some way to... make it stop?" her mother asked, her voice sounding rather agitated. "Is there any way for her to be... normal?"
'Normal'. That had been a word thrown around the Toga household multiple times, and one that had confused Himiko more and more with each usage. Everyone had Quirks, and everyone's Quirks were unique. That was an accepted fact, and a part of their everyday life. Naturally, since Himiko clearly had one too, she was part of that everyday reality that everyone had gotten used to.
So then, what part of her made her not 'normal'?
"Of course," the woman in the white coat said. "If she can come to understand her Quirk, I'm sure it'd be a lot easier for her to lead a normal life."
"No, I mean..." her mother stammered. "Is there any way for her to... not be drawn to blood like this?"
The woman raised an eyebrow.
"With all due respect, I don't think there's anything really wrong with it, ma'am," she said.
"Wha-"
"I guess it's a matter of perspective?" the woman went on. "I mean, look at the pro hero Hound Dog. There are times during his interviews where he just slobbers over people and starts barking instead of talking, right? But everyone accepts him as a pro hero and respects him for what he does."
"But Himiko's obsession is..." her mother trailed off, casting a sideways glance at the girl next to her.
"Certainly, it's not something that's easy to accept right off the bat," the woman nodded. "But she's only 5. Kids her age barely know restraint when stuffing themselves with things like ice cream even if it meant getting a horrible stomachache. Or eating things like bugs."
"That isn't-"
"I understand your concerns," the woman said, holding up a hand to assuage her concerns. "I've seen many kids whose Quirks have made their parents concerned across my career. But I think that as long as she has the right support, any child can learn the right moderation to help them function in society. Regardless of what their Quirk is."
The woman leaned forward and, with a gentle hand, patted Himiko on the head. For the first time since forever, Himiko felt the sensation of someone putting their hand on her hair, and a smile tugged at the corners of her lips.
"So how about this?" the woman asked, returning Himiko's smile with one of her own. "I can provide Himiko-chan with proper Quirk Counseling until she enters high school, so she can better come to terms with her own Quirk and how to function in society. Would that put you at ease?"
As the woman leaned in, Himiko was able to make out the words on her name tag: Fukuen Leah. She had no idea who this person was, but the name had stuck with her for some reason.
"Everyone's born with their own unique gifts," Leah said, looking Himiko in the eye. "It'd be such a waste to not let Himiko-chan make the most of her own."
"How much are they paying you to put up with me?"
The words escaped Himiko's mouth before she could help herself. Sitting on the big couch in Leah's office, she found herself spitting out those words in tone far harsher than intended.
"What do you mean?" Leah asked, setting down a pot of tea she had just brewed. As always, her expression was gentle, calm; there was never a trace of anger or so much as a furrowed brow in the 7 years since Himiko had taken up Quirk Counseling at her place.
"My folks," Himiko said. "How much are they paying you to endure these sessions?"
"... Did something happen at school?" Leah asked, raising an eyebrow.
Himiko flinched. As always, the woman was sharp. If she hadn't already known her Quirk, she would definitely have assumed Leah could read minds. Unfortunately for her, Leah's Quirk simply allowed her to adjust the smoothness of her skin, which at maximum smoothness just allowed anything that came into contact with it slide off without a scratch. She'd often say it was a Quirk suited for making herself look younger as a joke, but Himiko had been extremely jealous of it nonetheless.
Because if nothing else, hers was a 'normal', acceptable Quirk to have.
"Don't change the subject!" Himiko snapped. "I know you're just putting up with me until the time's up, so you can go home to count the money you made! You don't give a crap about me, and you probably just think I'm disgusting like the re-"
The rest of her sentence never made it out of her throat, as Leah's gentle hand rested on the top of her head. Without a single twitch in her physical expression, Leah simply smiled at her as she patted her head, in complete silence.
Despite the lack of words exchanged, much was conveyed nonetheless with uncanny eloquence. How she managed to pull that off, Himiko never understood.
"For the record," Leah said. "I'm not taking payment for your sessions. Your case is special, and your parents were worried the costs would be too high for a long-term treatment, so I waived the fees."
"Huh?" Himiko stammered. "Then, you... Huh?"
"Now then," Leah said, giving Himiko's cheeks a light pinch before sitting down next to her on the couch. "Since we've cleared that up real quick... What made you want to lash out like that?"
Himiko felt a lump in her throat. There was no beating this woman, as she had come to understand over the last 7 years. Without raising her volume – a tried and true method employed by Himiko's parents on a regular basis – she had calmed her down with just a simple action and a few words.
"The kids at school made fun of me," she choked out, the words burning like acid on her tongue. "They called me a vampire, said I was disgusting... And laughed at me."
"Why did they do that?" Leah asked.
"We were having gym class," Himiko replied. "And this boy... Takashi-kun, he... he fell and scrapped his knee. I was just next to him and I saw the blood and... well..."
Leah stayed silent, waiting out the rest of her words.
"I licked his wound before I could help myself," Himiko said. "It was partially to clean the wound but... mainly because I just wanted to. I couldn't help myself."
"I see," Leah said. "Well... that's a problem."
Himiko braced herself for the admonishment she knew must be coming. When her sessions with Leah first started, Himiko had always blamed everything on her Quirk. Her impulses could be explained away by her Quirk, and she would be absolved of the blame. It was an easy escape, a convenient excuse, but Leah had managed to make her stop after about a year into knowing her. Now instead of pushing it all to her Quirk, Himiko was able to verbalize that it was her doing all of this, which was certainly an improvement.
On the other hand, it just meant she had to take responsibility for her own actions and lack of self-control. In other words, it meant taking the blame that came with screwing up.
"You can't brush your teeth at school, so some bacteria could still be in your mouth from lunch," Leah said.
"HUH?!" Himiko let out a loud sound before she could even register her own uproar. "What're you talking about?! That's not the point here!"
"Oh, right." Leah said. "He scrapped his knee, so there must've been dirt on the wound. You licked dirt, so you might be getting more bacteria in there."
"That's not what I'm saying!" Himiko exclaimed. "The point is I licked his wound in front of everyone!"
"And why's that a problem?" Leah asked, tilting her head.
Himiko opened her mouth in shock. Was this woman serious? She became a Quirk Counsellor like this?
"Because it's disgusting to lick someone like that!" Himiko said. "Invasion of privacy? Hello? And you know, it's totally weird?! And unsanitary!"
"So then it's wrong because of those reasons, and not because you're drawn to blood?"
"I-"
Himiko froze.
"You're right about all those points you listed, of course," Leah said. "But those points who have applied if any of your classmates tried licking his wound, right?"
"... Yes..." Himiko mumbled.
"So then it's not because of you specifically," Leah said. "It's not that they're against you because you're different, but because you did something that wasn't appropriate for anyone to do."
"B-but I did it because I'm naturally-"
"And that's something we'll have to work on," Leah nodded. "We've been working on it for the past 7 years, and we'll keep working on it going forward. But the first thing I want you to understand is how to navigate these feelings. You were so emotional earlier because you thought of yourself as abnormal for being drawn to blood, right?"
After a long pause, Himiko gave a hesitant nod.
"But what you need to understand is that people may not view you negatively just because of that," Leah went on. "Their responses are not to your existence, but simply to your own actions. It's not who you are that made them uncomfortable. It's what you did."
"What difference does it make?" Himiko asked. "It doesn't change anything."
"It changes how you can prevent such problems in the future," Leah replied. "You can't change your Quirk, nor can you change how it makes you feel about blood. But you can change or control your actions so that you don't cause trouble to anyone."
"But..." the strange lump in her throat once again caught the words on the way to her lips, keeping them lodged there until she had to force them out. "But I don't want to have these feelings about blood."
Images flooded her mind as she felt her heartbeat skyrocket. Memories from an eternity ago, yet just as clear as the scene before her eyes.
Her mother flinching from being touched by her. Her mother not looking at her as she spoke of her 'affliction'. Her father's face, red with rage, as he yelled at her to be normal.
The disgusted face of a middle schooler, glaring at her in scorn from the other side of the mirror.
"I just want to be normal," she said, as something wet and hot spilled from the corner of her eyes and trickled down her cheeks. "I don't want to have something I have to control in order to be like everyone else. I just want to be... like everyone else."
"Then... do you think I can become like you?"
Himiko looked up in surprise, but Leah's expression did not falter. It never did.
"... Huh?" was all she could manage.
"I'm sure you don't need me to tell you, but I'm not you," Leah went on. "I'm also not your classmates, I'm not All Might, I'm not Best Jeanist even though I look better in denim. But do you think any of the people I just mentioned can be like you?"
"W-what's the point of being like me?" Himiko sobbed. "There's nothing good about being like me."
"Then is there a point in being like All Might?" Leah asked. "If you had the same Quirk he does, would you be able to do the exact same things he can?"
"... No," Himiko mumbled.
"And neither can he do what you can," Leah said. "No matter how spectacular someone is or how famous they are, they're still just them, and you're still you. Is being able to spit fire more 'normal' than having a four arms? You're just as special as everyone else is, so you just have to find a way to express your own special qualities."
"You mean like my obsession with blood?" Himiko asked.
"That's also a part of you," Leah replied. "Tell me, what do you think makes up 'Toga Himiko'?"
"Um, my Quirk?"
"So then, before you manifested your Quirk, were you still Toga Himiko?"
"Yes...?"
"So then, your Quirk is just one aspect of you," Leah said. "As is your personality, your appearance, your taste in food and clothes... everything. All of those little pieces make up 'Toga Himiko', so you can't just ignore a part of you and still be 'you'. You'll have to accept every individual piece that makes up who you are. That's how you'll get what you're looking for."
"What I'm... looking for?"
"You don't want to be 'normal' just because you envy someone else's Quirk, right?" Leah asked, wiping the tears from Himiko's cheeks. "You wanted to be 'normal' because that was how you thought you could be happy."
Unable to offer a verbal response, Himiko simply nodded.
"But you don't need to be like everyone else in order to be happy," Leah said. "Just like how someone born with a tail has to find different clothes that accommodate it, we'll just have to find a way for you to be happy as 'Toga Himiko', with all the bells and whistles that come with being you. Okay?"
Himiko looked at the woman in front of her, and the confidence behind her gentle smile. At the warmth emanating from her simple words.
"Okay," she said, mustering a shaky smile through her tears.
People aren't born equal. I knew that even from a young age.
If an amazing Quirk was considered a blessing, I definitely got cursed with a terrible one. There was nothing good about it, and certainly nothing I wouldn't give to be rid of it.
"Himiko. You deserve to be happy, just like anyone else. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
But regardless of everything, it's still a part of me. The good, the bad, the ugly sides of it... it's all still me. We may not be born equal, but it didn't mean we deserved to spend our lives buried in the misfortune to which we were thrown.
So I figured, since I'm starting at the low point, why not claw my way up from here?
And yes, I did come up with the counsellor's name by combining the names of Himiko's JP and EN VAs.
